One Wizard, Two Worlds

by ZOMG

Chapters

• Talking Ponies?
• Good Morning, Ponyville
• Meeting the Neighbors
• A Dash of Friendship
• To Stand Before Royalty
• The Setup

Talking Ponies?

Chapter 1: Talking Ponies?

“Sodding, buggering hell!” Harry shouted, his voice echoing around the empty seventh floor corridor, turning left and storming down the hall, venting his spleen all the way. There were no classrooms down this hallway; he had free room to work out all his frustrations.

Which he did with gusto.

Every damned Halloween it was the same thing! Something always went wrong for him! Screw Friday the 13th, eat your heart out ridiculous superstitions, Halloween had you all trumped when it came to Harry Potter’s life!

Harry could practically feel the steam pouring out of his ears; he hadn’t even gone near that bloody Goblet! The closest he’d been was when he watched and laughed with everyone when the Weasley twins tried bypassing Dumbledore’s age line, and, as talented as he was with magic, he was nowhere near skilled enough to get around such a complex rune system, especially when crafted by one of the most powerful wizards in recorded history.

Seriously, how could anyone believe that a fourth year could outsmart Albus Dumbledore? Even on at his worst, the near ancient Headmaster, the Supreme Mugwump of the Wizengamot, Defeator of Grindelwald, and holder of far too many other titles to list off, was a genius. Mind bogglingly eccentric, but a genius nonetheless.

Despite all of this, despite all evidence against the mere possibility that he could enter himself in, despite the fact that he could in fact give an alibi, Harry had been roped into the Triwizard Tournament, the legendary spectacle that had been brought back, after being cancelled for the death toll that came with the opportunity for fame and riches.

Because he could obviously do with more fame. In fact, that French girl, Fleur something or other, had nailed it right on the head: it was the opportunity of a lifetime! That was all the motivation an ordinary witch or wizard would need! But she hadn’t taken into account one rather significant issue:

Harry Potter wasn’t ordinary, not one bit.

Ordinary wizards didn’t go down trap doors to save a priceless artifact at eleven years old, nor did they slay a basilisk at twelve years old. And no ordinary wizard would be caught dead consorting with a werewolf and a convicted mass murderer – even if the werewolf was the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher ever and the supposed mass murderer had been framed.

But none of that even compared to the pain he felt, that once again he had to deal with the stares and whispers from his fellow schoolmates, along with students from two foreign schools. From the Hufflepuff’s glares and angry mutters, to the uncertainty of the Gryffindors, to the cold shoulder treatment he received from the Ravenclaws, to the gleeful, taunts from the Slytherins, it was Second Year all over again.

Oh, and then came the badges, those stupid badges. The actual wording on them wasn’t the issue, Harry actually agreed about the Cedric portion of it. The fact that the majority of the student population at Hogwarts seemed to be wearing them, now that bothered him greatly. But even that wasn’t the most troubling issue.

His relationship with his friends, now that was troubling.

To be fair, Harry could sort of see why Ron was always so quick to be jealous; he was the youngest of six brothers, he’d shown his desire to find some way to stand out back when he looked into the Mirror of Erised back in first year. But still, it hurt horribly. Even after all they’d been through, all their adventures, all the laughter, that Ron could think Harry to be an attention seeking prat.

Harry would be lying to himself if he said that he could get over it easily, if he said that he could just forget it all and move on with his life without his best mate.

Hermione, well, she at least still talked to him, but their conversations had become rather awkward. She hadn’t come out and said it, but Harry could tell. She didn’t know what to believe; she put so much stock in books and authority figures that any sort of rule breaking was met with resistance, the few times she’d broken them had only been out of necessity.

While he was happy that she hadn’t outright abandoned him, Harry still felt as though he were alone in the castle. He couldn’t go to Dumbledore, as he didn’t want to make it seem as though he was conspiring with the aged Headmaster to win the damn thing, he couldn’t talk to Ron, and sending a letter to Sirius was a huge risk, since he was still a wanted criminal.

It was all just so bloody stupid!

Harry threw his hands up, shouting profanities at the top of his voice; why bother censoring himself when there was no one around to hear him?

“I’ve bloody well had it!” He shouted, pacing back and forth, wringing his hands into fists. “This is ridiculous! I can’t get a damn break! Not at Privet Drive! Not even in this stupid, bloody castle! I’m done! I’ve had it with all of this! Everyone! Everything! I want to go away! Far away! I want to be away from people, from wizards, from this entire bloody castle! Every brick, suit of armor, gossiping ghost, even this stupid, thrice damned door!”

He stopped suddenly, turning abruptly to face the aforementioned door. Harry slowly approached it, looking left and right, blinking and rubbing his eyes to make sure that he wasn’t seeing things.

Nope. The door was there. But… It hadn’t been there before, had it?

“Where did you come from?” Harry asked, talking to himself more than anything. Though, at this point, he wouldn’t be surprised if the walls started speaking to him. Weirder things had happened.

Naturally, the wooden door had no answer for him, but Harry continued examining it, first touching it to make sure that it was actually solid and not some trick the castle’s magic was playing tricks on him.

It was quite real. There was no trick as far as he could tell. Perhaps he’d just overlooked it; after all, he rarely came down this part of the corridor, so he couldn’t really say that this door shouldn’t be there, even if he hadn’t seen it the first time around.

Still, he could’ve sworn he specifically checked to make sure he would be alone.

Harry tentatively reached out and pushed open the door, peaking inside to make sure nobody had heard his rant. He was met by total darkness, a pitch black that was more typical of the dead of night rather than just an empty classroom.

“Hello?” he called, stepping into the room and quietly closing the door behind him. “Anyone in here?”

There was no reply save for the echoing of his voice through the darkness. Harry sighed in mild frustration, muttering the Lumos spell under his breath to give himself a bit of light. Still nothing!

This was getting stranger and stranger by the minute! He turned left, he turned right, he raised his wand up and pushed more magic through to light up more area, but still found nothing! No walls, no desks, no unlit torches or candles, nothing! Harry stopped suddenly, gulping and shakily pointing his wand to the ground, hoping that he wasn’t in some precarious position, balancing just barely on a narrow walkway, suspended above his doom!

Fortunately, the light showed that he was standing on the safe, solid cobblestone floor that he was accustomed to, so his previous bout of melodramatic panic was quite unfounded and – admittedly – a bit embarrassing.

Thank the powers that be that no one had been around to see this…

Satisfied that he was alone, Harry strode forward, looking for some source of light, anything that he could just light up instead of having to maintain an illumination spell until his temper cooled.

Harry knew full well how horrible his anger control could be at the best of times, and this was most certainly not the best of times.

The frustrated teen took a step forward; peering through the darkness in hopes that he might find something he could use to give himself a more stable light source. To his utter surprise, his foot never made contact with the floor, instead going right through and into an open space. Harry yelped in surprise, wheeling his arms in the air in an attempt to use the momentum to fall backwards and onto what he knew to be solid ground; he’d take the bruised pride over falling into some dangerous mess again.

Unfortunately, the laws of gravity don’t stop to give special consideration for comedic performances, no matter how ridiculous the person in question looks when trying to defy them. Thus, Harry fell forward into the darkness with a cry of despair, flailing and tumbling head over heels all the way.

------------

A purple coated pony with dark purple and pink streaked mane sat at a desk, reading a book on the history of her homeland, Equestria, by the candlelight. A bit of bedtime reading to unwind from a hectic, but fun, day in Ponyville was one of her favorite activities, especially when her dragon friend, Spike, her number one assistant, was kind enough to make her a hot cup of her favorite tea.

Twilight Sparkle, the most favored student of Princess Celestia, smiled and sighed contently as she took a sip. She’d have to do something nice for him tomorrow; he always seemed to know exactly which brew to make to suit her mood and the type of day she had, his ability to read her was almost uncanny.

Though, considering the fact that the two had been together since the day she’d hatched him as part of her entrance exam into the Princess’ school, this shouldn’t really be much of a surprise.

She glanced behind her to watch as Spike standing atop a ladder, balancing a large stack of books in one hand while trying to place a rather thick, blue covered book back in the right place on the shelf. He knew full well that he’d be in for an earful if he put so much as one of the librarian’s books our of place, so Spike wanted to get this right the first time around.

He really was her number one assistant, even if he did let it go to his head every now and then.

A loud bump from behind her, somewhere near the closet, caused Twilight to jump in shock, knocking over her teacup and spilling its contents all over her clean, organized desk. She growled in annoyance, turning her gaze back towards her startled assistant, who’d fallen from his perch and landed in a heap beneath a pile of books. “I thought you said you put everything back in the closet neatly,” she scolded.

Spike groaned in pain, pushing a copy of The History of Equestria off of him, before holding his hands up in a surrendering gesture. “I did!” He insisted. “I put everything back exactly where you said!”

“Then what was that?”

“How in the wide, wide world of Equestria should I know? Maybe one of the shelves just collapsed or something?”

“Or something?” she repeated, quirking an eyebrow skeptically. “Why don’t you check and make sure you didn’t do a hasty job at the end?”

Her scaled assistant made as if to protest further, but he sighed, sagging his shoulders and stomping over to the closet, grumbling all the way. “Fine!” he snapped as he turned the knob. “But I know I did it right! I’ll bet you it was just one of those old closet shelves, Celestia knows this place hadn’t been kept well before we got he-AAAAAAAAAH!” Spike was cut off when a large, heavy object hit him directly in the snout, sending him tumbling down to the floor and knocking the wind out of him.

Twilight gasped in shock, rushing forward to check on her beloved baby dragon, but she stopped short as she realized something: this was no inanimate object! This was a living, breathing… thing!

In all her studies, both with Princess Celestia and independently, she’d never seen a creature such as this! The creature before her wasn’t covered in any sort of fur or scales, save for the messy black mane atop its head, it was garbed in what appeared to be a rough, wooly black robe and black trousers covering its legs, and strange objects covering its hind paws. Upon closer inspection, Twilight noticed that the creature’s forepaws resembled that of a monkey or gorilla, the opposable thumb was a telltale sign of at least some primate heritage.

“Ooooh, my aching head!” It groaned in what she judged to be a young male of whatever species he was. Well, at least now she knew she would be able to speak with him without having to bother Fluttershy to translate. “What the bloody hell did I –“ The new creatures stopped short upon seeing what it had come into contact with, before recoiling in fear, scrambling away from her fallen assistant. “Merlin’s beard, a dragon!”

Spike pushed himself up to view the thing that had knocked him over, fully intending to yell something back, but recoiled in turn when he realized that he’d never seen something like this before. “Dear Celestia, it talks!”

“I talk? How the hell are you talking? Dragons don’t talk!”

“Oh yeah? Well, I’m talking to you, pal! And I’m not the one who just came diving out of a closet and knocking over some poor, unsuspecting dragon!”

Twilight blinked rapidly as she watched the strange, new creature arguing with Spike, shaking her head and refocusing on the matter at hand. She focused her magic into her horn, which glowed magenta with magical energy, and fired a pair of quick bursts at the bickering duo.

Harry yelped in shock as he was engulfed in a strange magenta bubble, frantically looking for an opportunity to escape capture, absentmindedly noting that the little purple dragon had been subdued as well.  “What in the world?”

“That was me,” Harry turned his gaze to the unicorn, no scratch that; the purple, talking unicorn that had managed to capture him in some odd energy field. “No offence, but I didn’t think we’d get any important information from you while you and Spike,” she paused to point one of her hooves in the direction of the fuming dragon, who stuck his long, serpentine tongue out at her. “Were yelling at one another.”

Harry stayed silent. He could understand it somewhat, he’d be pretty hacked off if someone barged into his room and started arguing and yelling at one of his friends. Here, he was the intruder; he didn’t have the right to complain about being contained.

“Fine,” He nodded, relaxing his muscles and lowering his voice. “What do you want to know?”

“What do we want to know?” Spike repeated, still angry with the newcomer. “Well, gee, how about who you are! Or better yet, what in Celestia’s name even are you?” Before he could continue, his mouth was changed into a zipper and was quickly zipped shut. He turned his angry glare on Twilight, but his demands that she put his mouth back were muffled.

“Sorry about that,” Twilight apologized. “He’s a bit excitable. We’ve never seen anything like – well – you, before! The closest thing I’ve ever seen is a monkey, but you don’t have enough fur to be one of them.”

Harry scowled. “ I most certainly am not a monkey! I’m a human!”

She stared blankly, cocking her head to the side in confusion. “Hyoo – man?” She tried, testing the word on her tongue. “I’ve never heard of one of those before.”

“Well, I’m a human! So, they look like me!”

“Alright, so you’re a human, fine. Would you happen to have a name, or should I just give you one?”

“Do I look like a pet?” He asked gruffly. “My name is Harry Potter.” He carefully watched for her reaction, waiting for the widening eyes, glancing up to his scar or the babbling about how he was the Harry Potter.

She didn’t do any of those things; she simply smiled and nodded and, to his pleasant surprise, decided to introduce herself. “Hello, then, Harry Potter,” she greeted warmly. “My name is Twilight Sparkle, you’ve already met my assistant, Spike.” At this, Harry’s eyes flickered back over to the baby dragon, observing the way he seemed to calm down little by little as Twilight Sparkle held a civil conversation with their unwitting intruder.

“Yes, I’ve had the pleasure,” Harry deadpanned, earning an amused giggle from Twilight. He suspected that it would take a while for him to get used to her odd coloration.

Wait! Couldn’t this just be a dream? After all, unicorns and dragons don’t talk, and, no matter how convincing it may be, this could be just a very vivid dream. Hell, he probably fell down, hit his head and knocked himself unconscious. That would certainly explain why the little dragon had purple scales and green spines, of all things.

“This is just a dream, isn’t it?” Twilight stared in confusion as he continued. “This isn’t real, none of it is. I just fell and hit my head in that odd room, and I’m lying there unconscious, aren’t I?”

“No, this is all quite real,” she replied with a shake of her head. “You came tumbling out of my closet and into my home, Golden Oaks Library, in Ponyville.”

“Ponyville?”

“It’s the name of the town we’re in. But, let's stay focused. When you fell through, you collided with Spike and were complaining about how much it hurt, right?”

Harry shrugged and nodded, not quite seeing where she was going with this. “Well, yeah, but that doesn’t mean –“

“Have you ever had a dream where you’ve felt pain?” She asked, cocking a brow at him. “One where you didn’t wake up just as you were about to hit the ground after falling, or where you could feel the pain of something hitting you?”

He opened his mouth to reply in the affirmative, but stopped himself. She was right. Every time he’d had one of those dreams where he’d fallen from the sky, even when he had that odd dream about the Slythering team riding dragons instead of brooms, he’d woken up just as he was about to be hit. Here, however, he felt pain; hell, his ears were still ringing from his headfirst collision with Spike!

This was no dream!

Harry felt panic set in, his heart started racing as the realization slowly came to him. “This is… real?”

Twilight nodded, her eyes softened as she watched him start to hyperventilate within the confines of her magic bubble. She’d been afraid that something like this would happen when he tried to pass this off as a dream rather than accept that he’d apparently stumbled into a new world.

“A new world,” he muttered, sounding as if he were trying to convince himself. “I’m in a completely new world! How the hell do I always get mixed up in these things?”

Now, that drew Twilight’s attention. “Going to new worlds isn’t a new experience?”

“No… well, sort of,” Harry replied lamely. “When I was eleven, I found out that there was a secret society of wizards, witches and all sorts of magic hiding in not only my home country, but around the entire world as well! But going to a new world entirely? I’m rather new to that!”

“Magic exists in your world?” Twilight asked, perking up at the prospect of learning about a new form of magic on top of meeting a member of a strange new species.

Harry nodded, feeling a bit wary as she bounced excitedly on her hooves. “Yes,” he answered hesitantly, covering his ears when she let out an excited squeal of joy.

“Oh, how wonderful!” She cried, clapping her front hooves together. “You’ve got to show me! This is so amazing!”

“Uh, sure, I guess,” he consented. He paused a moment, motioning to her magic bubble. “But first, could you let me out?”

Twilight’s cheeks reddened heavily. “Oh, right, sorry!” Her horn ceased glowing and both of her captives were released from their respective bubbles, falling to the ground with a thud. “Sorry!” She cried when the duo sent matching annoyed glares at her.

Harry sighed and decided to calm her down, this was nothing compared to having his arm broken by a bludger. “It’s fine,” he grunted as he rose to his feet and began dusing off his trousers. “I’ve had worse.”

“Easy for you to say,” Spike grumbled, having finally managed to unzip his mouth. “Wait until she does that a few more times, and add in teleportation!”

“Spike!” Twilight scolded in embarrassment. “I don’t drop you that much!”

“Yeah, you do! Try every time you teleport me without warning! Or when you get so excited about reading a book you use magic to pull it and me off the ladder!”

The sight of the previously calm and collected Twilight sputtering and blushing at the reminder of past failures was enough to bring a small smile to Harry’s face; he put a hand to his mouth to try to stifle his laughter, but didn’t make it in time to prevent the first bout from escaping.

Twilight lowered her ears, hanging her head in shame as the newcomer laughed at her. Here she was, the favored student of Princess Celestia, and a new creature, one capable of magic no less, was learning of her failures. Harry quickly recomposed himself and tried to appease her. “No, no! I’m not laughing at you, Miss Sparkle,” He said with a grin. “The two of you arguing like that just reminded me of a couple of people from my world! Frankly, you’re not the only one who’s had a few mishaps with magic.”

“What? You’ve pulled your assistant off a ladder?” Spike asked incredulously.

“Not quite, but I have had all the bones in my arm removed.”

“Huh?” The duo before him blinked, sharing looks of disgust at the images that sprung forth.

“Yeah, two years ago,” he said casually, having long-since come to terms with it.

When the pony and dragon considered the implications, their eyes widened in horror. “All of the bones?” Twilight gasped.

“How did you get your arm fixed, then?” Spike asked, horrified at the mere thought of all of the bones in one of his limbs being removed. The image he came up with was – ironically – that of his own forelimb being as floppy and useful as a limp noodle.

“Oh, that was an interesting experience, to say the least,” the boy laughed uneasily. “Y’see, we have these potions in our world –“

“You have potions too!” Twilight gasped, cutting him off in her excitement. “Wow! Just like Zecora!”

“Uh, sure, just like Zecora,” Harry chuckled, mentally wondering what the hell a ‘Zecora’ could possibly be. “Anyways, the school nurse gave me a bone regrowth potion. It hurt like you wouldn’t believe, but I had all the bones in my arm back by the next morning!”

Twilight’s eyes widened in wonder, her attention focused completely on the human boy’s tale, her mind working furiously to think of the possibilities, the applications of such a potion in Equestria! Broken legs, ankles, knees and hips had long plagued their race as permanently disabling; if they could use the premise of one of these bone regrowth potions, they could, in theory, come up with a solution to this problem!

But wait! Harry still had to show her his version of magic. That thought alone was enough to make the scholarly pony giddy in a manner that Harry had only seen from Hermione. Twilight dashed across the room, stopping just in front of Harry and resuming her excited bouncing. “Well, come one! Aren’t you gonna show me your magic?” She asked, her snout just inches away from his nose.

Harry just laughed in amusement; this was definitely what Hermione would be like as a pony, he was sure of it. “Sure I will, just step back a bit,” Twilight was quick to oblige, more than eager to see him at work. “Well, what do you want to see?”

She stopped bouncing for a moment, raising a hoof to her mouth in thought. She grinned as a thought came to her. “I know! Make something float! That’s easy enough, right?”

“Actually, that’s really basic for us,” he replied happily. “It’s one of the first spells we learn in school.”

“Yeah, that’s great and all, but Twilight can do that easily,” Spike interjected, folding his arms over his scaled chest. “So, how do we know this is a new type of magic?”

“Well, that depends on Twilight’s answer to my question,” he paused to pull his wand from one of the pockets of his robes. “Do you use a wand?”

She shook her head. “No, I focus magic into my horn, all unicorns and alicorns do.”

“… Remind me to ask you what that last thing is later,” Harry said after a moment’s pause. “But, the important thing is that you channel your magic into your horn, a part of your body. I have to bring magic from my body or surroundings and channel it into my wand, then I have to say the incantation.”

“Does all magic in your world require incantation?” She asked. Her horn glowed magenta again as she summoned a scroll and quill to her and began writing furiously, taking down every detail of information he’d given her.

“No,” he admitted. “More powerful wizards can cast spells without incantations, but I’m still in training.”

A laugh from Spike caused Harry to frown. “You’re still in training?” He cackled.

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I am,” Harry replied, smirking wickedly as a thought crossed his mind. “But, at least I’m not a test dummy.”

“Test dummy?” Spike repeated, unsure of what that meant, but not liking the sound of it. “What the hay is a –“

“Wingardium Leviosa!” Harry cut him off, flicking his wand at the confused dragon.

“HEY!” Spike cried as he was lifted off his feet and into the air, flailing his arms and tail, trying to grab onto something to right himself. True, he’d been levitated by Twilight before, but she was usually much more gentle with the way she did it. “Alright, fine! I take it back!” He cried.

Harry just laughed and waved his wand up and down, causing Spike to lower and rise up in the air along with its motions. “Too late for that! Shouldn’t you have seen something like this coming since you live with Twilight?”

“I get the point! Just put me down!”

“Think he’s learned his lesson?” Harry asked the giggling unicorn.

Twilight’s eyes twinkled in amusement. “Probably not, but you should put him down before he gets sick.”

Harry nodded, cancelling his floating charm and letting Spike fall to the ground with a bump, earning a glare for his troubles. “Hey, watch it!” The dragon cried, nursing a sore rump after his little fall. “I’ve got enough bruises there!”

“Maybe you should think about that when you laugh at others,” Harry shot back. “Don’t throw stones if you live in a glass house!”

Spike tilted his head in confusion, reaching back to scratch his spines. “What?”

“If you can’t take being laughed at, don’t laugh at others,” Twilight explained. “He’s making a point, one you should pay close attention to.”

“What are you talking about? I can take a joke!”

Twilight raised an eyebrow, looking down sternly at the young dragon. “Really, now? I seem to remember you finding it hilarious when our friends and I stepped in the Poison Joke flowers, but you got upset when we teased you for looking too cute to be a dragon?”

“That’s different!” He snapped angrily. “That’s part of who I am!”

“And my horn is part of who I am,” she replied calmly. “As is Rarity’s mane, Pinkie Pie’s humor, Fluttershy’s soft voice, Rainbow Dash’s skill in flying, and Applejack’s size and strength. But you didn’t have a problem laughing at us, did you?”

As he watched Spike hang his head and nod, muttering an apology under his breath, Harry made a mental note to ask what these things Twilight had mentioned were. The way she said it, they sounded like names. If they were, then they were definitely the oddest names he’d ever heard.

To be fair, Twilight Sparkle was up there, so he really shouldn’t be surprised. And Harry probably sounded like an odd name to them, so he didn’t have much room to talk.

He’d just chalk it up to his current predicament and leave it at that.

“So, what happens now?” Harry asked awkwardly, drawing their attention once again.

Twilight thought for a moment, frowning when no clear answer came to her. “I’m not sure,” she admitted grudgingly. “Personally, I’d like to study you and your version of magic a bit since I’ve never heard about humans before, but I don’t want to keep you here against your will…”

“If it makes you feel any better, the two of you have given me a better reception here than I’ve been getting in my world,” he tried with an uneasy smile.

“Well, at least there’s that,” Twilight smiled. “But, I’d like to at least have some idea on how we can help each other out.”

“Why not write to Princess Celestia?” Spike put in. “She’ll know what to do!”

“Uh, who is Princess Celestia?” Harry asked, completely lost at this point.

Spike just laughed, having forgotten that the newcomer would’ve had no prior knowledge of the Princess of Day. “She’s one of the Princesses of Equestria, she’s in charge of making the Sun rise and holds dominion over daytime.”

“I see,” he muttered hesitantly, not quite understanding the concept. “So… some… pony has to raise the Moon and hold dominion over the night, right?”

“That’s right!” Twilight chirped happily. “Her little sister, Princess Luna, raises the Moon and reigns over the night.”

“Makes sense, I suppose. And you think that Princess Celestia will help you figure out how to help me?”

TShe nodded once. “I’m sure! I’m her student, she trusts me with just about anything! I’m sure she can help us figure out a way!”

“No doubt,” Spike agreed. “The Princess knows more about magic than anypony in Equestria!”

“Well, if you say so, I suppose,” he said a bit unsurely. “I guess it couldn’t hurt. Anything is better than sitting here, twiddling my thumbs.”

Twilight nodded, turning to her ever-faithful assistant, who had already pulled out a quill and scroll of parchment. “Ready when you are, Twilight!” he said dutifully.

“Thanks, Spike. Dear Princess Celestia,” she paused, making sure that she didn’t go too fast for the young dragon. “Tonight, something amazing happened! A young creature, a male of his species, stumbled out of my closet in Golden Oaks Library. His appearance is rather strange, he has no coat or fur, save for a black mane, he walks on two legs and has arms, much like Spike's. He refers to himself as a 'human' and goes by the name 'Harry Potter'. Harry claims that he came from another world, but, as I am unfamiliar with such magic, I felt that this was something that should be brought to your attention. Please send advice on how to proceed as soon as possible. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.”

Spike’s quill danced across the page at a rapid pace, scratching furiously against the parchment as he transcribed the last line of his friend’s message. “Twi-light Spar-kle,” he sounded out as he tried to make sure to follow those pesky spelling rules and not mix up letters as he sometimes did. “Got it!” he cried triumphantly, tossing the quill aside and rolling up the scroll. The tiny dragon took a deep breath and let out a small jet of green flame, incinerating the letter in his claws.

“What in Merlin’s name are you doing?” Harry panicked as his information ticket literally went up in smoke before his eyes.

“Relax,” Spike said, putting his claws up in a placating gesture. “That’s how we send letters to the princess through magic. Take a look for yourself?” He then gestured to the trail of smoke that began winding its way up towards the open window, as if it had a life all its own, and shot out into the night, vanishing from sight. “When I burn magical scrolls, they appear before the Princess so she can read them and respond within min – ACK!”

A sharp pain in his stomach prevented him from finishing his sentence; he hunched over, clutching his belly, his face contorted in a manner that suggested that he was under a lot of discomfort, before letting loose a loud, firey belch. The flames that sprung forward from his mouth began to materialize into another magical scroll, this one, however, had a rather fancy seal attached to the tie.

“Wow, that was fast!” Twilight noted happily. It seemed that the Princess had taken her situation quite seriously. “What does it say, Spike?”

“Gimme a second. She caught me off guard with that one,” Spike snatched the scroll off the ground and unrolled it, muttering under his breath about how annoyingly uncomfortable it felt for him to receive letters, and began reading. “My faithful student, Twilight. Your rather unique situation comes as a surprise to both Luna and myself – Oh, wow! You got the attention of both Princesses, Harry!”

“Uh, that’s great, I guess,” Harry said unsurely. “What’s the rest say?”

“Oh, right! Where was I? Ah, here! Many centuries have passed since the last encounter either of us had with a human, therefore, unfortunately, we do not have much information to give at this time. Please tell your new guest not to worry, as I will personally do everything within my power to search for clues on how to return him safely to his home world. In the meantime, you and Spike should show him around Ponyville and let him experience Equestrian life for himself and perhaps ask him a bit about his people if he’s willing to discuss it. Please keep in touch with any new information you get, I will do the same. Signed, Princess Celestia.”

Harry’s shoulders slumped in dejection; he’d been hoping that this would be a quick fix. “So much for that,” he grumped. “Looks like I’m stuck.”

“It’s not that bad here,” Spike tried to assure him. “The ponies are really friendly once they get to know you. Plus, I’m sure the Princess will have an answer for you soon enough.

“Maybe. But with my luck, this will involve some ridiculous quest at the end, and I’ll have to risk life and limb to go back and deal with everyone accusing me of something I didn’t do!”

“I’m sure it won’t be anything like that,” Twilight tried to assure him, making a quick mental note that his choice of wording made it seem as if this were completely normal for him. She’d have to look more into that later. “Even on the off chance that it involved danger, we wouldn’t make you go through it alone.”

He wouldn’t understand it for a long time, but, somehow, hearing this filled Harry with the same confidence he had when his friends resolved to help him protect the Philosopher’s Stone from Voldemort, the same feeling of being part of a group as he felt whenever he put on his Quidditch robes and walked onto the pitch with his teammates.

“Thanks, Miss Sparkle,” Harry said, smiling sincerely for the first time in days. “It means a lot to hear some – uh – pony say that.”

She smiled brightly, both at her success in pulling her new friend out of his dismal state of mind and seeing a genuine smile on his face for the first time since he’d stumbled into her library. But, in the back of her mind, she couldn’t help but draw connections between his annoyed grumbling and his sudden gratitude after she assured him that he wouldn’t be alone.

She’d only known him for a half an hour at most, but Twilight could easily tell that something was very wrong with Harry Potter. Something she fully intended to find out, just as soon as she was sure he wouldn’t pull a Rainbow Dash and flee at the first sign of questioning.

Better save that for later; Twilight could always figure it out once her new guest got comfortable with his surroundings and opened up a bit. For now, she’d let him have his privacy.

“Glad it helped!” She chirped happily, before raising a brow playfully. “And you can call me Twilight, Harry. There’s no need to be so formal!”

“Sorry, habit,” he replied sheepishly. “I’m still making the connection between this being a library and me being a student.”

Spike groaned in mock agitation. “Oh, please don’t put that image in my head!” he grinned at the light glare his sister-figure sent at him, but continued needling her nonetheless. “She’s already bad enough when she goes into research mode, I don’t want to imagine her in charge of a class!”

“You’re hilarious,” Twilight deadpanned, turning her attention away from the snickering dragon and back to Harry, who tried in vain to hide a grin. “Oh, don’t encourage him!” She begged. “He’ll start thinking he’s actually funny!”

Harry nodded his head understandingly. “Ah, well, I wouldn’t want that.”

“Hey! No taking her side! She’s got enough mares around to help her tease me! You’re the only sta – uh – guy around who will back me up!”

Twilight sighed and rolled her eyes at his dramatics. “I’m sure you’ll get over it,” she drawled.

“Easy for you to say,” he scoffed. “You’ve got five other mares who love to tease me all the time for being too little or too nice to be a dragon.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I still feel a bit dizzy from when I collided with you,” Harry offered. “You bounced up like I barely touched you though!”

Just as the young wizard suspected, Spike perked up almost immediately when he realized that the boy was telling the truth. “Yeah, I did!” He crowed, flexing his arms to show off what little muscle was hidden beneath his scales. Harry and Twilight stifled laughs at the sight of the baby dragon trying to showcase himself. “Strength of a real dragon! Hear that Twilight?”

“I don’t think there’s anyone in Equestria who can’t hear you, Spike,” she teased.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” he dismissed her with a yawn. “I’m beat, I’ll see you guys in the morning.”

“Goodnight, oh mighty dragon,” Twilight giggled, leaning down to nuzzle her little assistant as he passed.

“Just you wait, Sparkle,” he mumbled half-heartedly as he returned the gesture with a light hug before making his way over to his bead and flopping down onto it. Within seconds, the baby dragon was asleep.

“Wow,” Harry laughed quietly at the sight of the snoring dragon. “He really is a baby, isn’t he?”

She nodded. “As much as he likes to pretend he’s all big and bad, he’s a little foal at heart.”

“Well, he should make the most of it while he’s young. It seems like you two are really close, almost like brother and sister, if I compare you to one of my friend’s and his sister.”

“That sounds about right,” she laughed. “I don’t know what I’ll do when he does finally grow up.”

“Like I said, just enjoy it while it lasts,” Harry replied seriously. “You’ve no idea how much I envy the two of you; I can only wish that I had something like that.”

Twilight did her best not to be too nosey, but this was now the third hint he’d given her about his life in his own world. She had to ask about this one. “Do you fight with your siblings?” she asked, sincere in her curiosity.

“No, I mean I wish I had a relationship like that with some siblings of my own. I’m an only child.”

She’d put her hoof right in her mouth. Twilight winced, mentally berating herself for making assumptions about her new guest. “I’m so sorry,” she stammered. “I just thought –“

Harry waved her off. “It’s fine. I should’ve been more clear.” He paused his attempts to reassure him to stifle a yawn that managed to escape his lips; it had been a long, tiresome day in his world, and this new world ordeal was all the more exhausting.

“Looks like Spike isn’t the only one who needs an early bedtime,” Twilight giggled, drawing an eye roll from the raven-haired human.

“You go to a new world and tell me it’s not draining,” he shot back. “It’s been a long day in both worlds, for me.”

“Fair enough, I suppose. I have an extra bed, just give me a minute to bring it out.”

“You don’t have to, I can sleep on the floor.” Harry replied. She’d been gracious enough not to call whatever authorities existed in this world the moment he stumbled into her home. He didn’t want to burden her any more than he already had.

Twilight, however, would have none of it. “No, really, it’s no trouble at all. It just takes a bit of magic and –“

“No, it’s fine, I’d rather not burden you anymore than I already have.”

“You haven’t –“

“Besides, I’ve slept on the floor loads of times before. It’s not big deal at all.”

“No!” She snapped, putting her hoof down on the matter. Twilight strode forward, causing Harry to quickly backpedal into the very door he’d come out of. “Look! I can have that bed out here and ready in ten seconds flat! No one in this house, pony, dragon, human or otherwise, is sleeping on the floor! Got it?”

“Got it!” He squeaked, sufficiently cowed by her glare.

Almost instantly, Twilight reassumed her usual kind smile. “Great! Wait right there!” As the mare trotted off, Harry couldn’t help but stare.

Harry made a mental note never to be unfortunate enough to find himself in her crosshairs when she was well and truly angry. Harry had seen that glare before; he’d seen his bushy haired, book loving friend punch out that utter ponce, Draco Malfoy, after giving that glare.

Harry didn’t want to see what a unicorn with magical powers would do to him if he invited her wrath down upon him.

“See! Ten seconds flat!” Twilight proudly said, having pulled an extra bed from and setting it up while Harry busy trying to figure out how he’d gone from staring down a basilisk to cowering in fear of a purple unicorn’s wrath. She paused a moment to chuckle as she recalled Rainbow Dash using the same line back when she first meet the cyan coated pegasus.

Harry smiled uneasily and approached the bed, resisting the urge to cringe as an odd scent hit him. Of course, he should’ve expected this; it was a spare bed for a pony. He should’ve expected the faint scent of a pony’s coat to linger, it was, after all, extremely unlikely that Twilight would bother using magic to completely remove the smell since it would seem natural to a typical guest in her home.

Plus, he had the distinct feeling that if he tried to decline her generosity again, she’d magically bind him to the bed for the night.

“Thanks, Miss Sparkle,” he said, slipping back into his habit again.

Twilight rolled her eyes at him. “It’s just Twilight,” she repeated.

“Sorry, it’s going to take a bit to get used to all… this,” he replied with a gesture. “Used to being around teachers and all.”

She just laughed and nodded as she turned to trot over to her own bed. Twilight paused for a moment to stifle a light yawn with a hoof, before climbing in. She might as well go to sleep now, there wasn’t much point in trying to continue her reading now that her focus was elsewhere. With her curiosity now directed at Harry, she’d have to wait until morning to go into, as Spike called it, research mode.

“It’s fine,” she called back sleepily. “You’ll adjust, I suppose. For now, just sleep. We’ll straighten everything else out in the morning.”

“Uh, sounds like a good plan,” Harry said as sat down on his borrowed mattress and began pulling off his shoes and socks. He briefly considered whether or not it could be wrong for him to share a room with Twilight, but he quickly shook that thought off and slipped out of his robes. British propriety didn’t really apply here.

Twilight was a pony, he was a human. They were two completely different species, hell, they were from two completely different cultures! If he went based off of their rules, going starkers was probably acceptable, even among members of the opposite sex, if Twilight and Spike were any indication.

As soon as he realized where that train of thought had taken him, Harry slapped a hand across his forehead and suppressed a groan. Why the hell was he actually pondering this?

The now mentally scarred teen quickly unbuttoned his shirt and hung it, along with his robes, on a bedpost, before pulling back the covers and sliding in. He sighed, ignoring the odd smell of pony, and relaxed as his body settled in and became accustomed to the comfort of the rarely used mattress.

“Goodnight, Harry,” Twilight’s mumbled call sounded from her side of the room.

Harry turned to glance at her, snickering as she turned over on her side and snuggled into her pillow like a young child. “Goodnight, Twilight,” he replied as he closed his eyes and let sleep take him into its comforting darkness.

For the first time in days, he slept without worry, without the weight of false accusations on his shoulders.

Good Morning, Ponyville

Chapter 2: Good Morning, Ponyville!

“Wake up, Harry!” The young wizard stirred in his sleep as a familiar voice called out to him, pulling Harry out of his dream world. Sure, it was a weird dream, some strange dream about talking unicorns and snarky, baby dragons, but it was nice to dream about something other than his imminent death for once. He groaned and stubbornly turned over on his side, earning a round of giggles from whoever was trying to make him leave the comfort of his nice, soft bed and begin the day. “Come on, sleepy! You can’t stay in bed all day!”

At this point, Harry’s mind finally managed to piece together that it was a girl trying to rouse him out of his sleep; with his luck, it was Hermione, the one person in this bloody castle who was more stubborn than he.

“Leave me alone, Hermione,” he mumbled into his pillow. “I’m tired!”

A momentary pause gave Harry a bit of hope; perhaps she was feeling merciful today! Maybe, for once in the hectic mess he called a life, he’d actually get to just relax and sleep in like a normal teen.

Obviously, Harry needed a reminder of who he was.

“Harry… It’s Twilight. Twilight Sparkle, remember?” Twilight? Who in Merlin’s name was Twilight? Wasn’t that the same name of that talking unicorn in his dream?

…

Harry’s eyes snapped open, he began searching around for his glasses, frantically reaching with his hands and trying to make out the blurry shape of his old, black frames. To his surprise, his vision suddenly cleared up as his glasses were set in place by some strange magenta tinged energy field.

With his vision now clear, Harry turned to face the source of the voice and was met with the sight of the same purple unicorn he’d seen in his dreams…

Or was it a dream? She was here, standing before him and giving him a rather amused look as he struggled to comprehend her presence. No, she was no dream, no figment of his imagination; Twilight Sparkle was quite real.

Harry struggled to vocalize his thoughts, working his mouth wordlessly before finally rediscovering how to speak. “You’re… real?”

To her credit, Twilight just rolled her eyes and laughed, not in the least bit offended that he was still struggling to come to terms with her existence. “Yes, I’m quite real! “Remember? We talked about this last night and then you tried to argue that I didn’t have to pull out this bed for you… “ The mare trailed off and gestured for him to finish with her hoof and gave him an expecting look.

“And you made me sleep in it instead of the floor,” he finished, before adding an afterthought. “And then you boasted about it only taking ten seconds.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that was the most important detail, but yes, I suppose I did!” Twilight paused a moment to think, covering her lips with a hoof to restrain a giggle. “Just don’t tell Rainbow Dash that I borrowed her line or she’ll try to convert me!”

“Rainbow what now?”

“Oh, right! You haven’t met her yet! She’s a pegasus, one of my best friends; I’ll introduce you to her sometime today!”

“R – Right. A pegasus,” he stuttered uneasily as he sat up and tossed the covers off. He snatched his shirt off the bedpost and threw it over his shoulders, fastening the buttons carefully, so he didn’t end up mismatching them.

“Does your species always wear clothes?” Twilight asked curiously. “Sorry, but I haven’t seen anypony wearing them so often, even Rarity only wears dresses for special occasions.”

“All the time,” he replied, cheeks heating up a bit. “Who is Rarity, exactly?”

“Oh, sorry. That’s another of my friends you’ll have to meet. But first,” she trailed off to look over at the slumbering form of her draconic assistant and giggled as he drooled into his pillow. “It’s time for a certain baby dragon to wake up.”

Spike slept on, unaware that he was about to be roused from his dream world by his big sister figure. Harry sighed and rolled out of bed and began putting his clothes back on, watching with no shortage of amusement as Twilight prodded Spike with a hoof.

“Time to wake up,” she whispered softly. Spike groaned and turned over in his bed.

“Five more minutes, mommy,” he muttered sleepily.

She stifled a laugh and continued poking him with her hoof, but he didn’t move. “Being difficult this morning, are we?” She asked teasingly. “Alright, then, I guess I’ll just have to take this!”

Twilight’s horn flashed magenta with magic and the little dragon’s blanket was ripped from his grasp and into the air, just out of his reach. She gave a wink to Harry, fully expecting her little assistant to leap to his feet and demand she give his precious blanket back and let him, a poor, innocent baby dragon, sleep.

Spike had other plans. He was used to Twilight’s attempts to wake him up after years of dealing with her in the morning. Sure, he knew that she’d keep at it until she got her way, but today he was feeling lucky. Today, he was sleeping in, even if he had to curl up into a little ball to keep warm.

After living with Twilight for literally his entire life, he should’ve known better than to think such an idea would actually work.

Instead of prodding him again, Twilight placed her hoof on his stomach and slowly moved it about in a circle, lightly teasing his scales with the sensation. Spike tried to flinch away from her, only managing to push his body up against the side of her bedpost.

“You’d better get up, Spike,” she warned as she gave him a quick poke to the ribs, eliciting a squeak from her assistant. Seeing that he still wouldn’t get up, Twilight decided to punish his defiance with a full-scale assault.

Spike was helpless! He squirmed and fought against it, but couldn’t escape Twilight’s teasing hoof. The tiny dragon sputtered and laughed, pulled from his blissful sleep by his traitorous body’s ticklishness.

“C-CUT IT OUT!” He cried through his laughter. “T-TWILIGHT!”

“You should’ve gotten up when I first called,” she teased, moving her hoof to the center of his belly and quickly brushing it along his scales. Spike gasped in surprise, letting loose a bout of giggles as the torture continued.

Harry shook his head as he watched Twilight assault her ticklish little assistant; he threw his robe over his shoulders and pulled his arms through the sleeves. Truth be told, he lied when he told Twilight that he’d come to terms with it, that he’d accepted that he was an only child.

He wasn’t. He couldn’t help but feel a swell of pain in his chest, the pain of loneliness. This sort of interaction was something he craved when he was younger.

Something he was denied.

Yet, at the same time, Harry felt a bit happy for them. These two didn’t have to know the same feeling he did, they were innocent in that matter. Twilight and Spike were different species, but they got along better than most human siblings.

More than he could say for the way the wizards in his world treated other magical creatures; those who were classified as having “near human” intelligence by several of the Care of Magical Creatures and Defense Against the Dark Arts textbooks, as if suggesting that humans were superior in nature.

True, humans had made significant advancements in technology and ideology, but they were by no means the strongest or fastest creature on Earth, their edge lay in their intelligence.

Here, that wasn’t true. In this new world of Equestria, ponies and dragons were, if the pair before him was any indication, capable of rational and intelligent thought.

Turning his attention back to his current source of entertainment, Harry found that Spike, in a moment of brilliance, had managed to roll himself out of bed and to his feet, escaping from Twilight’s hooves and managing to put some distance between himself and the giggling librarian.

Spike leveled a light glare at Twilight and grumbled. “For once, just once, I wish you’d let me sleep in!”

“And I wish that for once, just once, that you’d get up without me having to drag you out of bed,” Twilight retorted. “But, then you wouldn’t be you, I suppose.”

Evidently, this was a common occurrence in the living quarters above the Ponyville Library.

Harry just watched as the two bantered, awkwardly rubbing his arm and looking around, trying to look as if he weren’t just staring at the scene before him. As he surveyed the room around him, he had the feeling that he was wrong last night when he noticed just a base similarity between Twilight’s personality and Hermione’s.

The obscenely large bookshelf, stacked to the brim with thick texts, served to affirm that this was the room of Hermione’s equine counterpart. From the towering bookcase to the stacks of books sitting next to the neatly organized desk, it truly seemed as though this were a place that she would’ve loved to visit.

Hell, even the way Twilight had organized the desk spoke of an almost obsessive attention to detail, not a pen nor scrap of paper was out of place!

Just as he took notice of the almost identical obsessive attention to detail, Harry’s heart sank. As obvious as it should have been when he woke up face to snout with a unicorn, as much as he should have felt this cold, sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as soon as that realization hit him, only now did the full weight of his situation come crashing down upon him.

He was alone in a strange world. No friends, no Hedwig, no human contact. Here, he was the intruder. He was the alien.

How long would it take for this new land, Equestria, to become like the Wizarding World in that regard? Would they gawk at him like some sort of animal on display for a little while because he was different? How long before that curiosity became suspicion? How long before he became the scapegoat?

How long before he had to hide himself from disapproving glares again?

Harry shook himself from that line of thought; that wasn’t something he wanted to think about right now. Besides, pegging an entire race as being judgmental when he’d been trying to escape just that was quite hypocritical of him. Still, it was a bit difficult to go against what his own experiences had taught him...

A low growl from his stomach brought the happy scene before him to a halt, much to Harry’s embarrassment. “Sorry,” he chuckled sheepishly. “I haven’t eaten anything since midday yesterday.”

“This guy’s speaking my language!” Spike cried with a grin, leaping to his feet and running downstairs.

“You don’t even know what he wants, Spike!” Twilight called after him, facehoofing in annoyance as the tiny dragon continued on his way. “Honestly! Sometimes I wonder if that dragon thinks with his stomach!”

“I have a friend just like him,” Harry chuckled. “He practically dives face first into his food. We’re all afraid that we’ll lose a limb if we reach for something.”

“I guess there’s always one,” she sighed. “Well, come on, the kitchen is downstairs. What do you eat, Harry? Hayfries? Dandelion sandwiches?”

Harry did his very best not to blanch at the mention of Equestrian delicacies. Hay? Weeds? What in Merlin’s name was with these ponies?

Then again, horses in his world were herbivores, so it really shouldn’t surprise him. But still… Yuck!

“Er… no,” he said hesitantly, carefully choosing his words. “Humans don’t really eat hay or dandelions.”

“Well, what do you eat then?”

“Do you have bacon and eggs?” He asked, instinctively thinking of a typical English style breakfast.

Twilight cocked her head to the side in confusion at the unfamiliar term. “Bacon? I could bake you some eggs, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Harry resisted the urge to slap himself. Ponies were herbivores; he’d already covered this. They would never think of cannibalizing another species. The idea was probably horrifying to them. “Never mind. How about toast? Or English muffins?”

“There should be some bread in the pantry, I could have Spike toast it with a bit of dragon fire.”

“I’ll have that then. Just stick with something a bit basic for now.”

“That would probably be a safe bet,” she admitted. “Food in your world is different, right?”

He chuckled. “Very.”

“Well, what kinds of foods do you eat?” Twilight asked, summoning a quill and notepad with a quick burst of telekinesis. “I’d love to learn about your culture! It’s not every day I get to study a new species!”

“Err, right,” he stammered hesitantly. Her intense look, that same excited look he’d seen on Hermione’s face whenever a new topic for her to research came up, made him fit a bit uneasy.

The portion of Princess Celestia’s message about studying him finally made sense; Twilight wasn’t just a student in magic, she was a researcher, a scientist, as well.

And he was the research subject. Somehow, he had a feeling that things were going to get a bit… awkward. There were just too many odd questions that the studious mare could bring up, probably more than he could even imagine. And, if she were as similar to Hermione as he thought, Twilight wouldn’t let up until she’d pulled enough information out of him to write her own book on the subject.

With that in mind, Harry decided that it would be best to submit to her whims and answer. Better to get this over with than to suffer through whatever interrogative methods she might have.

Harry really didn’t want to be on the wrong end of that horn…

“Well, we don’t eat weeds or flowers. Mostly vegetables, fruits, nuts and… err…” Oops.

“Vegetables, fruits and nuts,” Twilight muttered as she furiously wrote down his every word. “Not vegetation. And what else?”

How exactly do you explain eating meat to a herbivore?

Trick question. You don’t.

“Uh, sweets!” He cried, trying desperately to cover his slipup. “We eat loads of sweets! Baked goods and everything!”

Fortunately for Harry, Twilight was too preoccupied with writing down every word his said to catch his mistake. “Sounds like you’d get along with my friend, Pinkie,” she noted happily. “She works in a bakery in town.”

“I’ll have to visit sometime,” he agreed, sticking to his story as he descended the stairs and followed her to the kitchen. As soon as he reached the bottom, Harry stopped short, staring in slight awe at the sheer number of books that lined the circular bookshelves of Golden Oaks Library.

Hogwarts might have had the most extensive magical library in Europe, but it lacked the near obsessive, compulsive organization and upkeep of this, Twilight’s pride and joy.

Golden Oaks Library was much smaller, but its dedicated librarian had more than made up for the lack of size in the way she maintained it. Not a book was out of place, not a shelf left undusted or properly stacked, it was, for lack of better term, immaculate.

“Wow,” he muttered, unable to think of anything else, all words failed him at this point. Even he had to marvel at the sheer number of books that lined the walls, that surrounded the entire room, reaching up to the ceiling, that made up the dominion of the unicorn and her draconic assistant.

Twilight, of course, assumed that he was simply impressed and surprised with the extensiveness of her collection, thinking that she’d found a kindred spirit in her love for studying. “It really is a sight, isn’t it?” she asked wistfully. “When I first came from Canterlot, I couldn’t believe that this library in such a tiny town was so well stocked with so many interesting books.”

“Right,” he shakily agreed. “How exactly do the two of you maintain it so well? I mean it’s only you two!”

“Oh, it’s really quite easy with my magic and Spike’s help! He’s my number one assistant for a reason, you know!”

“I guess, but…”

“Don’t overthink it,” she laughed. “I know it seems like a lot for just the two of us to take care of, but he’s a very capable dragon, even if he is a baby –“

“You mean the same baby who’s making your breakfast?” A familiar voice called out from one of the doorway arches. Spike poked his purple-scaled head out and gave his surrogate sister a mock annoyed look. “The same one who could easily let his claws slip and throw a few peppers on your sandwich?”

Twilight simply quirked an eyebrow and smirked, a fresh retort already on her tongue. “Yes, the very same baby dragon who’s gong to be quite upset if he messes with my sandwich… once he realizes that his ‘secret stash’ of gems has been misplaced.”

Spike’s eyes widened in horror as he shut his mouth with an audible ‘click’; evidently, his collection of gems was quite important to him, a fact that Twilight had exploited with a thinly veiled threat the likes of which only an older sister used to show their misguided younger brother that she had far more ammunition to unload.

Big sister: one. Little brother: zero.

“I’ll be good!” Spike squeaked, ducking back into the kitchen to escape Twilight’s almighty smirk-raised eyebrow combo.

Twilight raised a hoof to stifle a bout of giggles, shooting Harry a wink. “Works every time!”

Harry didn’t want to pry, but he just couldn’t help asking. His curiosity demanded an explanation. “Why does he have a gem stash?”

“He eats them,” she said casually, much in the same tone one would use to describe the weather.

“He what?!”

“Oh! Do dragons in your world not eat gems?”

“Er… no,” he said awkwardly. “They only eat… meat in my world.”

Twilight thought for a moment before giving her reply. “Well, most dragons are carnivores in Equestria, but they do eat gems as well. Spike’s a bit different; his diet is mostly vegetarian with the occasional gem to go with a meal.”

Even if he wasn’t as obsessed with learning as Hermione, Harry had to admit that was quite interesting. Of all the things he didn’t expect, finding out that dragons ate gems was definitely among them.

Though, to be quite honest, it did reassure him that he didn’t have to worry about waking up in the middle of the night with a hungry drake standing over him.

Harry had so many questions to ask, so little of this made any sense to him, but he just sighed and decided to roll with the punches, so to speak. He was in another world, one in which ponies and dragons spoke, unicorns used magic and, apparently, dragons ate priceless stones.

At this point, he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the answers. Perhaps it was best if he waited until he was more accustomed to all of… this... before delving any deeper.

Twilight waved a hoof in front of his face to get his attention. “Harry!” She called. “Equestria to Harry!”

“Huh?” He mumbled, blinking rapidly as his train of thought was cut off. “What?”

“You drifted off a bit,” she said with a small grin. “You’re not going to make a habit of that every time we tell you something new, are you?”

The teen could only rub the side of his arm in embarrassment. “Hopefully not,” he replied sheepishly.

“See to it that it doesn’t, mister,” Twilight said, adopting a mock stern expression. “I can be quite creative in my methods of getting a pony’s – well, in your case human’s – attention.

“I believe it,” he mumbled, her rather unique method of waking Spike up still fresh in his mind. Somehow, he didn’t relish the prospect of being subjected to her version of a wakeup call.

Her grin widened at the look of discomfort on her new friend’s face. Twilight was a nice pony, typically more concerned with studying than acting the part of a little foal, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t get in on some of the shenanigans that her friends came up with.

A certain hat with a multicolored umbrella mounted on top showed clear dedication to the mystical alarm system that was the “Pinkie Sense”.

Besides, this all served a very important purpose: a bit of fun might distract Harry from his worries and allow him to relax and adjust himself to his new life in Equestria, even if it were only to be a temporary one.

The fact that she wanted to study human reactions to a bit of mild teasing had nothing to do with it. Nothing. At all.

Ok, maybe a little.

With her goal in mind, Twilight flashed a rather mischievous smirk at Harry. “You got a pass this morning, but next time I won’t be so forgiving if you oversleep.”

She had to stifle a laugh at the way his face paled as he considered the endless possibilities of ways she could wake him, each of them more unpleasant than the last.

Sometimes, even Twilight Sparkle couldn’t resist poking a bit of fun at her friends.

Harry gave a weak grin, stuttering assurances that it wouldn’t happen again, that he’d make sure he didn’t sleep in or space out in the middle of a conversation; really, it only served to further the mare’s amusement and cement the fact that he was just too easy to tease.

Her friends would have a field day with Ponyville’s newest resident.

With one final amused shake over her head, Twilight lead the nervous boy into the kitchen, where Spike had already finished preparing a dandelion sandwich and a small bowl of gemstones.

“How many slices do you want, Harry?” the young drake called over his shoulder as he pulled a third plate down from the cupboard.

Harry stifled a laugh at the sight of the tiny dragon balancing himself on a stool, trying to reach a plate. Really, this wasn’t something he’d expect to find a dragon doing in any world. Taking pity on his scaly friend, Harry muttered a quick levitating charm to carefully lift a single plate out of the cupboard and lower it into Spike’s waiting claws.

“I’ll just have one, thank you,” he said politely.

His comment earned him twin looks of disbelief. “You’re kidding, right?” Spike deadpanned. “That’s not even enough for me!” Even though she disapproved of her de facto brother’s bluntness, Twilight gave a nod of agreement. A single slice of toast was most certainly not a healthy breakfast.

Despite their protests, Harry just shrugged. “When I get nervous, I tend to eat very little, if anything at all.”

Grudgingly, the duo had to admit that his excuse did make some sense. Harry might be a bit more comfortable with the two of them; he was still coming to terms with his predicament. He wasn’t just in a new town, he was a in a completely different world! He’d been ripped from everything he knew, everything he was comfortable with, and been dropped in the middle of a world that was practically the polar opposite of everything he’d encountered.

Nervous probably didn’t even begin to cover how he was feeling.

Spike shared a look with Twilight, who sighed in defeat and motioned for him to give into their guest’s request. He grumbled something about the lack of proper nutrition and poor diet, a habit he’d picked up from living with a studious sister his entire life, and grabbed a slice of bread to make toast.

A quick burst of dragon fire, unintentionally hotter than normal due to his dissatisfaction with Harry’s diet, was all it took to toast the fluffy, white bread to a crisp.

If anything, Spike would take solace in the fact that Twilight wouldn’t let this become commonplace for the duration of Harry’s stay. Oh no. He knew full well that Twilight had only given in today because she didn’t want to push Harry too much on his first full day in Ponyville. If he tried this again tomorrow, he’d be in for a big surprise.

And he planned to back his sister in all but blood on this issue. Harry was new, but that didn’t make him any less of a guest and friend.

Spike might be young, but he didn’t let his friends down, even if he had to go against their wishes to help. It was part of his Dragon Code, his own set of rules he lived by. It might be a petty issue, but he wasn’t going to let one of his friends become unhealthy because of some poor eating habits.

He’d read enough health science books with Twilight to know the value of proper nutrition.

Fixing a smile in place, he placed the toasted slice on a plate and held it out to the messy haired human, who accepted it gratefully, returning the drake’s smile with an awkward grin of his own. “Do you have any jam?” he asked meekly.

“Sure, what kind do you want? Grape or strawberry?”

“Either works, I’m not picky.” Eleven years of eating only the minimal amount acceptable had essentially made Harry take a rather simple mindset towards food: if it was edible, he ate it. Being picky just meant he had less food to eat.

Of course, Spike had no idea about this portion of Harry’s past, so he just assumed that the boy didn’t have much of a preference between the two. He shrugged and handed over a jar of strawberry jam before grabbing his bowl and claiming his seat at the table.

As he munched on a small gemstone, Spike watched as Harry quickly spread some jam over his toast and wolfed it down, as if he hadn’t eaten in days. The tiny drake raised a brow and shot a look at Twilight, who seemed to share his own thoughts if her narrowed eyes were anything to go by.

In terms of draconic growth, Spike was only a baby, but he was no idiot. Harry’s actions directly contradicted his claim; the boy was obviously very hungry, but felt uncomfortable asking for more than his meager share.

Something wasn’t adding up. Spike hated it when things didn’t add up; it was another peeve he picked up from Twilight. Based on the single nod he received from his sister, Spike could tell that she wasn’t planning to let this go. Harry might get a pass from a bit of questioning now, but she obviously intended to find out more about their mysterious guest.

Harry, oblivious to the silent conversation taking place just across the table, spoke up after swallowing the last bit of his toast. “So, how are we going to go about dealing with… well, me being here?”

Twilight sighed. “Honestly? I’m not exactly sure myself. I don’t want to cause mass panic, but we can’t just hide you in here! This is a public library –“

“Even if nopony else really comes here!” Spike chipped in cheekily. His teasing grin turned into a squeak of fear at the glare he received, shrinking back into his seat as if he somehow hoped he could press himself through the wood to escape his sister’s heated gaze.

“Like I was saying,” Twilight ground out. “Hiding here won’t work.”

“Well, I can’t exactly waltz out into town, can I? You said it yourself, we don’t want to cause mass panic!”

“No, but it’ll only get worse if I try to hide you… especially if my friends come calling.”

Here, Harry quirked a brow at the way the unicorn before him shifted when mentioning her friends. “Can’t keep a secret from them?” He asked, smiling knowingly.

“You have no idea!” She groaned, lightly bumping her head down on the table. “I’m horrible at lying to them as is! And don’t even get me started on Pinkie Pie!”

“Especially if it’s something involving a new pony – err, human – in town who she can throw a surprise ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party!” Spike added.

That did nothing to help her mood. “Oh, great! She’s probably already gotten the twitchy tail, or whatever ridiculous signal her ‘Pinkie Sense’ gives her that means ‘time to throw a party’!”

“Well, we could always just take him into town and get it over with, you know? If he’s with us, it won’t be as bad as Zecora or Princess Luna on Nightmare Night!”

‘Nightmare Night’? Now that sounded interesting. What was that supposed to be, the equine version of Halloween? Of course, with Harry’s luck, his near traditional annual disaster would still persist, falling on Nightmare Night instead of Halloween.

That is, if he was stuck here long enough.

“Well, what about just taking him to Mayor Mare? Maybe she can help!” Spike’s voice cut through his momentary lapse in focus. All other thoughts stopped in their tracks as he his mind caught up with what he’d just heard.

Mayor Mare?! No. No way. There was just no way…

Badly suppressing a snicker, Harry cut in. “I’m sorry, did you just say ‘Mayor Mare’?”

The boy bit his lip, his cheeks puffed out with the laughter he only just barely was able to withhold. First, Canterlot instead of Camelot and now Mayor bloody Mare!

Too easy. It was just too easy.

“Harry?” Twilight called, a bit concerned with how red his face was turning and the way his shoulders seemed to be shaking, as though he were having trouble containing himself. “Are you alright?”

He nodded, a small snort of laughter escaped as he tried desperately to regain control of himself before he opened his mouth. “I’m… fine!” He let out. “Just… fine!”

His unicorn friend wasn’t fully convinced. “Are you sure? Did you swallow a bite too big or something?”

Perfect! “Y-Yes,” he ground out, straining to disguise his chortles as coughs. Maybe this wouldn’t be so easy, after all. “Just… just ate a bit too fast! It’ll… It’ll pass!”

To add to the effect, Harry pounded a fist to his chest, giving the appearance of trying to dislodge whatever was stopping him from breathing properly. Thankfully, Twilight and Spike were rather trusting and truly believed that he’d just eaten too fast and swallowed down the wrong pipe, so to speak.

If their earlier banter was anything to go by, Harry didn’t think they’d react too badly to him having a bit of a laugh at the cultural differences, but he didn’t want to test those waters too early.

As annoyed as the students from France and Bulgaria were at the miscommunications and unintended cultural slights, despite the fact that the Hogwarts staff and tournament officials had tried to adapt to their visitors, Harry could just feel that he was going to have to watch what he said or did lest he step on some toes…

Well, hooves, actually.

Heh.

Once he’d managed to get himself back under control, Harry took a deep, calming breath, and turned his gaze back on the pair before him. “You were saying?”

Spike quirked an eyebrow at him, but answered nonetheless. “Mayor Mare, we could take you to see her or bring her here to see you and figure out a way to introduce you to the town without causing panic.”

“Would it really be that bad?”

“Yes,” Both Twilight and Spike replied in unison, the memory of Zecora’s treatment prior to her formal introduction fresh in their minds.

“Really? So bad that you have to alert the highest authority in town? Don’t you think putting the Princesses on high alert last night was enough?”  

Twilight smiled and shook her head. His innocence on the matter was actually quite endearing. In his mind, they’d already alerted the highest of high authorities, anything else was only inconveniencing those around him.

Somehow, she was certain that this was going to become a pattern with the raven-haired human.

“Normally, yes,” she admitted. “But the citizens of Ponyville can be a bit… skittish around things they aren’t familiar with.” A confused look from her friend urged her to explain in more detail. “You have to understand, ponies are normally very tolerant of other races, but Ponyville is a very small town, very old fashioned in many ways. Sometimes, they can be a bit superstitious and fearful.”

Now, that was familiar. “Say no more!” He surrendered. “I know exactly what you mean!” Hopefully, that superstition didn’t also come with a tendency to make scapegoats. “So… the Mayor, then?”

“If she’s available, yes,” the mare replied as she rose from her seat. “Spike, do you mind -?”

Spike waved her off, hopping down from his chair and making his way to the sink. “I’ll take care of the library for the day, you give the crazy, magical human the grand tour.”

“Remember that when I’ve stuck you to the ceiling,” Harry called over his shoulder as he followed Twilight out the door. “Try not to burn this place down!”

“Try not to fall out of any closets!”

Damn. Baby dragon: one. Teenage human: zero.

“Knock it off, you two,” Twilight chided as she summoned a book. “Harry, just give me a minute to find an anti-detection spell and we’ll be off.”

Even though he wasn’t as studious as the mare before him, Harry’s interest was peaked. “How exactly does an anti-detection spell work?”

“Well, it’s supposed to make it so ponies don’t notice you. Princess Celestia once described it to me as perception filtering; the mind doesn’t see you as long as you don’t draw attention to yourself.”

Interesting. “So, as long as I don’t start shouting and waving my arms, no one will notice me?”

“No pony,” she corrected absentmindedly. “Will notice you.”

Had Twilight turned to face him, she would’ve caught the poor attempt to hide a goofy smile behind the palm of his hand and the way his shoulders shook with suppressed laughter as he turned his back on her and made his way over to what he presumed was the front door of the Library.

He was really going to have to get used to the blatant horse puns or he’d die laughing.

Harry stopped short and leaned against the wall as he watched Twilight search through the book, muttering and shaking her head every now and again, with a look of utmost concentration etched across her face.

“Color changing spell… levitation… silencing… cleaning… teleportation… Darn! Not in this book!” she sighed, floating the book in question back to its spot on the shelf and summoning another. “Let’s see, shape shifting? Probably not, we want him inconspicuous, not a teapot…”

A look of utter horror worked its way across Harry’s face! Yes, hopefully she’d find that anti-detection, perception filter spell before she gave up and resorted to turning him into a pair of bloody horseshoes and wearing him around town.

Through the haze of racing thoughts and embarrassing scenarios, Harry heard someone… err… somepony knock at the door.

Before we continue, it’s important to observe Harry’s train of thought at this point: there was none. His mind was still coming to grips with the mere possibility of becoming a bit of transfigured… something! That being said, this momentary lapse in focus, this ever so brief moment of brain dead stupidity, might explain this next course of action.  

More out of habit, a product of living with the Dursleys and being their personal maid in all but name, Harry absentmindedly turned to open the door and greet whoever had come to call on the rather distracted librarian.

Of all the ponies he could’ve come face to face with, this was quite possibly the absolute last pony Twilight would’ve wanted him to meet had she been paying full attention. Not due to any sort of personal aversion, but simply for the sake discretion.

Emerald green eyes met sky blue, both sets blinking in surprise as the shock registered with their minds. One’s owner grew excited, the other’s only grew more surprised and confused.

Pink. That was all Harry could really think of at this point in time. Pink. Other than its eyes, this pony was, from perky tail to fluffy, curly mane, pink. Her coat was, admittedly, a slightly lighter shade than her tail or mane, but the point remained.

This pony so completely pink that Harry could practically feel a sugar rush coming on just by looking at her.

As Harry returned his gaze to her face, he noticed that her mouth, which had opened in shock, was beginning to twitch upwards, curving into a face-splitting grin.

Figuring that she was here to visit Twilight, Harry passed it off as her being happy that someone answered and greeted her. “Er, hi,” he said lamely. “Here to see Twilight?”

Almost instantly after he finished speaking, the pony let out a loud, exaggerated gasp and leapt into the air, before suddenly turning tail and galloping away as fast as her legs could carry her!

“No! Wait!” Harry cried, reaching out as if to somehow grab the mare, who was now no more than a slowly receding dot and a trail of dust. “Damn it!” he cursed angrily. So much for discretion.

Before he could further verbalize his displeasure, Harry felt the now familiar sensation of Twilight’s magic wrapping around him as she telekinetically jerked him back inside and slammed the door shut. “Harry! The whole point of this spell is for you to stay unnoticed until we talk to the Mayor!” she chided.

He let his shoulders drop, heaving a sigh of resignation as he did so. “There’s no point now,” he grumbled. “Somepony already saw me.”

Harry never saw her move; he didn’t even see so much as a muscle on her body twitch. One moment, Twilight was giving him a stern look, all four hooves were on the ground, the next, his face was being held mere inches from her own by her forehooves, her eyes widened in panic.

“Which pony?” she demanded. “Give me a description!”

“P-pink!” He stammered, quite startled by the sudden shift in his friend’s demeanor. “Her coat, tail and mane were all pink! Sort of fluffy and perky looking! She had blue eyes!”

Twilight groaned and released the human teen, who was suddenly reacquainted with gravity as he dropped face first to the floor. “Of all the ponies, it just had to be her!”

Muttering curses under his breath and rubbing his forehead, Harry pushed himself up into a sitting position, giving the panicking unicorn a look of confusion. “What’s wrong? Do you not get along with her or something?”

“Quite the opposite,” she sighed as she massaged her temples with her hooves. “That was my friend, Pinkie Pie.”

“Pinkie Pie?” He deadpanned. “Her parents named her Pinkie?”

“Well, yes, that’s actually common,” she said, still not fully catching the tone of disbelief in his voice. “You’ll find that many ponies’ names have something to do with their appearance, jobs or talents.”

“Right. Of course.” I guess that makes me ‘Scruffy Hair’ then, he noted sardonically. “So, what exactly is the problem with Pinkie Pie knowing about me?”

With a sigh, Twilight closed her books, telekinetically reorganizing and replacing them back onto their appropriate shelves. “It’s not so much a problem as it is a change in the plan. If Pinkie knows you’re here, subtlety is pretty much a waste of time; everypony will know that you’re here, that you’re vastly different from us.”

Harry couldn’t help but feel a bit overwhelmed with this information. Talking to a mayor, even if she had a ridiculous, blatant pun for a name, and trying to calmly come up with a solution to his inexplicable presence was much more appealing to him than some pink ball of energy galloping through town, shouting at the top of her lungs about the strange new creature that had taken up residence in the local library.

“So, I’m sunk then,” he grumbled.

“Not necessarily,” his head snapped up as he gazed in confusion at the mare before him, who now sported a rather sheepish look. “I should explain: Pinkie might be a bit… excitable, but I seriously doubt she went running into town to whip everypony into a mob. Actually, it’s the opposite. Remember what Spike and I said about her at breakfast?”

Thinking back, Harry did, vaguely, recall her mentioning somepony (this was going to take some getting used to) having a “Pinkie Sense” and something about it being time to… No.

“You’re joking.”

The look Twilight gave him was one of utmost seriousness. “Harry, if there’s one thing that Pinkie takes seriously, it’s parties. And, since you’re new to Ponyville, even if you’re human, you’re going to be the guest of honor at your very own ‘Welcome to Ponyville' surprise party.”

-------------

Harry barely registered Twilight pushing him out the door and into the open air of Ponyville, he barely heard her exchange goodbyes with Spike, only absentmindedly mumbling his own farewell to the laughing dragon as he allowed himself to be pushed (and even prodded once with the horn to wake him from his stupor) along the path and into town.

This didn’t make any sense whatsoever. By all rights, that pony, Pinkie Pie, or whatever he name was, should’ve gone screaming into town about him. There should be an angry mob assembled on Twilight’s front lawn, demanding that she bring him so they could either turn him in to the guards or lynch him.

Not that he had any complaints about the lack of mob, guards or noose. No, that he could do without.

But still, a party? For him? This just didn’t seem right at all. Pinkie didn’t even know what he was, let alone know anything about him! That, however, was irrelevant, according to Twilight; if there was a newcomer in town, Pinkie took it upon herself to make sure that pony – or, in this case, human – was welcomed with the party to end all parties.

To Harry Potter, it just didn’t compute. He was used to people blatantly staring, whispering rumors and such as he walked past them in the halls, each one more outlandish than the last.

When he finally rejoined Twilight in reality, Harry discovered two things.

The first was that Ponyville appeared to be a small, old world town, very rustic in its charm, with the influence of nature and tradition made plainly obvious, even to a newcomer such as him. To see a race living together in such a manner, interacting, greeting one another by name, it was a beautiful thing. The natural beauty of his surroundings was captivating as well; lush green grass, clear blue sky, and tall, mighty trees looming in the distance.

The second was the sight of a bunch of multicolored ponies, the very same ones who’d been happily going about their day, stopping abruptly and staring at him. But this wasn’t the typical staring he was used to, there wasn’t much suspicion or hero worship evident in the eyes of the population of Ponyville.

Their stares seemed to be a mix of surprise, slight uncertainty and interest. One or two of them even tried giving an uneasy smile, waving with their hooves in an attempt to at least seem somewhat neighborly. Harry returned the gesture, raising a hand and giving his own wave, waggling his fingers as he did so, much to the shock and interest of everypony present.

Whatever spell of silence had been cast upon the area was broken, as each pony began openly whispering to one another.

“Is that what Pinkie was talking about?”

“Obviously! He’s the only other two legged thing in Ponyville besides Spike!”

“What in Celestia’s name are those things he waved with?”

“How in the hay should I know? Oh, Bon Bon! Where’s that roommate of yours when we need her?”

“Out of town, Berry! She won’t be back until next week!”

“Ha! Figures that Lyra would be missing when she finally got proven right! Sure sucks to be her!”

“Vinyl! Must you be so rude?”

“Hmm, I wonder if he likes muffins… “

Harry simply watched in shock; these ponies, they weren’t all that different from humans at all! Perhaps they were a bit more peaceful, and certainly reacted better to him than humans would to them, but still, the similarities were evident.

“Well, this is something I’m used to,” he muttered, more to himself than anything. Looks like he’d be the subject of staring after all.

Twilight, however, managed to catch part of it. “Used to what?”

Oops. “The stares and whispers,” Harry grudgingly admitted. “I get that a lot where I’m from.” A raised brow from his equine companion prompted a bit of explanation. “I’m… different, even among my people, so I get a lot of unwanted attention.”

“I see,” Twilight said after a moment’s pause. “Does it bother you? All of this?” She jerked her head to her right, indicating a grey coated, wall eyed pegasus mare, who had turned to her brown coated friend and started an in depth discussion about how something ‘human shaped’ could possibly be in a universe with the form was clearly ‘pony shaped’.

Even to for a world full of talking ponies, that was strange.

As his mind finally rejoined his body, he was met with the sight of Twilight giving him a rather expecting look, her brow arched higher and hoof tapping against the ground, indicating her impatience. He gave an uneasy laugh as the familiar quill and notepad floated into view; she was still carrying them around?

“I hate being stared at, the people where I’m from think they’re being subtle, but they’re not. The ponies here aren’t as bad,” he added hastily, as he took note of the look of panic that flashed across her face, revealing her worry that he’d been offended. “They actually have a good reason to stare. But… where I’m from, I get stared at for simple stupid things like who I am or some ridiculous rumor. It’s a bit upsetting.”

Twilight stopped abruptly, turning to lay a comforting hoof on his shoulder again. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought you out yet,” she mumbled with regret. “I didn’t –“

“Don’t worry about it. Like I said, they have a reason to stare.” Celestia’s student felt her regret wash away as a bit of the familiar warmth of reassurance and friendship. “I’d rather they stare and speculate what I am than for –“

“WATCH OUT, TWILIGHT!”

They froze and made to turn around, searching for the source of the three young voices, the voices of three young fillies, cut through the peaceful atmosphere and halted all conversation. Twilight’s eyes widened as her brain kicked in and realized what was about to come next; she knew all too well who these young fillies were. She threw herself to the ground, covering her head with her hooves and called out a warning. “Harry! Duck!”

Too late! Instinctively, Harry turned around to fully face the source of the disturbance. He didn’t have time to yell, he didn’t have time to leap out of the way, he didn’t even have time for his eyes to widen in shock…

By the time his brain had caught up, his vision was filled with orange and purple, his ears split by the shrieks of fear. Harry felt something blunt impact with his forehead, stars exploded behind his eyes and a rush of pain erupted from his forehead.

His world faded to blissful darkness as panicked voices cried out from far away…

Meeting the Neighbors

Meanwhile, in a world inhabited by ‘human shaped’ life forms…

Albus Dumbledore tried not to meddle in Harry’s life. No, really, he did.

After seeing the child of his late, beloved students first walk through the doors of the Great Hall, he knew he had robbed the young boy of the joys he should’ve had during his childhood, all for the sake of some prophecy. It was a realization that pained the old man to this day.

Oh, how far he’d fallen, how similar he’d grown to his onetime friend, Gellert, in that regard…

He tried, oh, Merlin, how he tried, to give Harry some semblance of happy memories to make up for lost time, but it all came crumbling down, year after year.

In Harry's first year, Albus had been directly responsible for the presence of the Philosopher’s Stone, the very artifact that Voldemort risked coming to Hogwarts to steal, on a night that nearly cost Harry Potter his life. If there was ever a more powerful image to drive home the fact that all of his plans, any thought of conditioning the boy to be a weapon, should be discarded, it was the memory of that night; the memory of a child, bloodied and bruised from a battle with an older, far more powerful wizard, laying unconscious in the Hospital Wing.

Second year was no different, the poor child was forced, along with his friends, to solve the mystery of the Chamber of Secrets and faced the monster of Slytherin alone.

Perhaps even more horrifying was third year, in which Harry had learned that his parents’ friend, Sirius Black, had betrayed them and revealed their location to Voldemort. The boy had spent months hating the man who had, in effect, taken everything from him, only for the curtains to be pulled back, revealing Sirius to be an innocent man, framed by Peter Pettigrew, a man thought murdered by the falsely accused Sirius.

Albus closed his eyes, fighting back the sting of tears as he began to feel his true age; another innocent life had been in his hands, and had nearly been cut down far too young.

Just like Arianna…

Albus composed himself, returning his focus to the four heads of houses of his esteemed institution, and placed his trademark grandfather smile upon his face. “Has there been any sighting of young Harry since last evening?” He asked.

“I’m afraid not,” Professor McGonagall replied, her Scottish burr thick with worry for her wayward student. “I’ve asked every student in my house, even some in the others, none have seen hide or hair of him since his last class yesterday!”

Nods of confirmation from Professors Flitwick and Sprout only served to send the Headmaster’s hopes crashing down. He sighed, breaking his façade and bringing a hand up to message the bridge of his nose; he’d overestimated Harry’s ability to cope with the pressures of the Tournament and suspicion of his peers as the faculty tried to identify the one who managed to slip his name into the Goblet.

The opinion of the students, foreign delegations, tabloids – the only reason he hadn’t barred Rita Skeeter from attending all proceedings was due to some ridiculous rule involving the press having reasonable access to the Champions – and the general public had no sway over the Hogwarts staff, each and every one of them, even Professor Snape, no matter how much he might try to deny it, knew that Harry hadn’t approached the Goblet.

The fact that Harry Potter was, once again, the victim of someone else’s machinations didn’t sit well; disregarding the fact that they were being made to seem incompetent, the boy’s safety was at risk! The Triwizard Tournament wouldn’t be easy for seventh year students; a fourth year had almost no chance of survival!

But all they could do now was identify the one behind it all and pray that their student could survive…

Breaking his silence, Severus Snape looked up and spoke in his drawling voice. “Perhaps the boy needed a bit of time to himself. Away from prying eyes and the gossip of the rest of the insipid dunderheads of this school.” Albus gave him a look of questioning, curious to know where his trusted spy was going with this. “Potter is clearly feeling the strain; the majority of the student body turning on him again, ridicule from foreign delegations on top of being entered into the most dangerous spectacle of our world. As unpopular as it may be, and as much as I am loathe to say it, perhaps this is his manner of coping.”

McGonagall turned to face the Potions Master with a heated glare. “Are you suggesting that we leave the poor boy to his own devices again?”

“Would you have him brought back to be the subject of ridicule?” he asked coldly. “He is still a child, this level of stress will have an effect on his mentality.”

“It almost sounds as though you’re concerned for him, Severus,” Flitwick chipped in, a wry smirk on his lips.

“I simply don’t want that insufferable brat to blow up my classroom because he suffered an emotional breakdown! If that means he stays as far away from the rest of the mouth breathing buffoons that make up the student body, then so be it!”

“Still, that’s a rather well thought out case you’ve put forth. Almost as if you’ve been thinking about it at great length…”

The Head of Slytherin House felt a heavy scowl fall across his face. “Don’t put words in my mouth! I don’t care what the brat does, if it means less of a mess for me to deal with, so be it. He can go frolic with a herd of pastel colored ponies if it means I don’t have to deal with James Potter’s spawn!”

---

Meanwhile, in a world populated by ‘pony shaped’ life forms…

“Dude… that’s gonna leave a serious mark!”

“Vinyl! Show a little compassion! The poor thing was just run over!”

“Excuse me! Give him space! He’s coming around!”

“Say, Twilight, why exactly were you two together? Do you know him?”

“He’s been at the library since I met him last night, he’s not from around here,” that voice. It sounded so familiar, a bit muddled, but familiar. “Harry? Harry can you hear me?”

Twilight Sparkle. That was her name. Twilight Sparkle the purple unicorn.

“Ah, if I may, Miss Sparkle, I should probably do a quick scan, just to be sure he doesn’t have a concussion. Poor fellow took that hit head on… err, no pun intended.”

“I’m so sorry! I was trying to slow down but I was already in mid jump! I didn’t see it… him, I mean, until too late!”

The cacophony of voices talking around him, coupled with the rather annoying sound of a whirring, buzzing bit of machinery wasn’t helping the pounding headache that Harry woke up to. With a groan, he opened his eyes, squinting as a bright blue light fixed on the end of a silver base bombarded his retinas. Some sort of flashlight, perhaps?

“Knock that off!” He grumbled, snatching the odd looking flashlight away from the chestnut colored stallion. Upon closer inspection, he seemed to be wearing, of all things, a green tie around his neck. “Not helping with that stupid thing!”

The stallion in question gave a huff of annoyance, snatching his property back and giving Harry a thwack on the head. “Oi! Don’t disrespect my sonic screwdriver!” He scolded, waving the odd looking bit of machinery around as if it were a baton. “Now, hold still! I wasn’t done checking you for injuries!”

The wall eyed pegasus from before tapped him on the shoulder. “Uh, Doctor, I don’t think hitting him on the head is going to help with the pain… at all.”

“Oh, dear, quite right! Sorry about that! I just get a bit titchy when people, I mean ponies – I still can’t get over that – make fun of this little beauty. She’s pulled my tail out of the fire many a time, that she has!”

“Doctor Turner?” Despite the pain and fuzzy feeling in his head, Harry could’ve sworn he saw the stallion’s lips quirk upwards into a smile that showed equal amounts amusement and mystery. No, that couldn’t be right. He had to be seeing things. “Could you please focus on the issue at hoof?” Twilight demanded. “How is he?”

“Oh, sorry! I was doing it again, wasn’t I? I’ll stop, right now, it won’t –“

“Doctor!”

“Right! Well, according to the scan, he’s not concussed, so there’s good news. It seems that our young daredevil here managed to flap her wings just enough to slow herself and that marvelous scooter of hers down to a point where he was just knocked silly for a moment. Remarkable feat, really, I mean, she was in mid air and she hasn’t even learned how to fly yet!”

“Hey!” Harry’s attention was drawn to a young, orange-coated filly with a magenta mane; who was currently glaring daggers at the stallion. “I’m learning at my own pace!”

“Oh, sorry, was that rude? That was rude, wasn’t it, Derpy?” His companion gave him a flat look, but nodded all the same. “Oh, sorry, Scootamoo –“

“Scootaloo!” She cried indignantly, ignoring the snickers of a white-coated mare with a two-toned, electric blue mane and large, black-rimmed glasses with purple lenses.

“Like I was saying, Scootaloo, my sincerest apologies.”

As comical as one might think the scene playing out in front of him may be, Harry felt a bit out of the loop. “Uh, could someone or somepony or whatever explain what just happened for the benefit of those of us who weren’t conscious?”

Predictably, that drew all conversation to a halt. The filly, now identified as Scootaloo, lowered her gaze and shifted her hooves nervously. “W-Well… I was just… y’see –“

“Scootaloo,” Twilight said gently. “Take a deep breath and tell Harry what happened. He won’t yell at you, right Harry?”

If he had any thoughts of shouting – which he didn’t – the look on his friend’s face left no room for debate. He nodded and gave what he hoped was an easy smile.

Scootaloo seemed to regain her nerve, and gave him a look of utter contrition. “I’m sorry!” she blurted out, eyes brimming with tears. “I was just trying a new trick on my scooter,” she gestured with her left hoof to an orange scooter laying in the road, just out of arms reach. “I used the lid of one of Roseluck’s flower crates to jump, but I didn’t see you until it was too late!”

As painful as being used as a landing pad might be, he really couldn’t find much fault in a child, or a filly, in this case, trying to have fun. If anything, he felt a bit guilty for stepping in her way; knowing that you’ve accidentally hurt someone is one thing, doing so in a crowd is far worse.

Harry pushed himself up into a sitting position and looked into her eyes, wincing as the tears began to spill out and roll down her face as she prepared for the strange creature she’d hit to shout himself silly.

She was in a place he was all too familiar with.

Before he had a chance to ease her nerves, another filly, this one with a yellow coat and red hair, with a large pink bow sitting on the top of her head, stepped forward. “Please don’t be mad, mister!” she begged. “Scootaloo ain’t a bad pony, honest!”

This must be a friend of his unintentional assailant. Best to nip this thing in the bud before it got out of hand. “I’m n –“

“Really! She’s not!” Another filly added, this one was a unicorn filly with a white coat and lavender and pink swirl mane, as she stepped forward and put a hoof around the nervous pegasus’ shoulders. “She was just trying to show us a new trick! It’s all our faults really!”

Immediately as the little unicorn finished, the trio of fillies, in unison, gave looked at him with the most innocent, vulnerable wide eyes imaginable.

Harry bit his lip, trying with every fiber of his being not to let any embarrassing sounds escape his lips as he was met with the most dreaded manipulation tactic: the puppy dog eyes.

He already felt bad enough that Scootaloo looked ready to cry, this just wasn’t fair.

“I’m not mad,” he hastily assured them. “I’m just… well, I’m just in pain.”

The unicorn with the large shades snorted. “In pain he says! Yeah, I’d be in pain too if I were used as a landing pad!” A grey-coated mare with a pink bowtie gave her a sharp jab to the ribs, coupled with a heated glare. “Alright, alright! Yeesh, can’t anypony around here take a joke?”

Another mare, this one with a cream coat and a blue and magenta mane silenced the complaining pony with a glare. “Somepony getting run over isn’t funny, Vinyl! He and Scootaloo are both very lucky they weren’t hurt too badly in that crash!”

“But they weren’t, so, for the love of blueberry muffins, drop it,” Derpy cut in, effectively ending the argument. Harry couldn’t help but notice that one of her eyes seemed to focus on him while the other focused on something slightly to his right. She gave him a friendly smile and greeted him. “Anyways, hi! I’m Ditzy Doo! But my friend here,” she gestured to the Doctor with a hoof. “Likes to call me ‘Derpy’! All my friends do! What’s your name?”

Harry stood up, wincing slightly as his knees protested his movement. “Harry Potter,” he replied. “Nice to meet you, Ditzy.”

“Same to you! And you can call me Derpy too!” The face splitting grin she gave him was as infectious as the fillies’ puppy dog eyes were lethal; he felt his own lips twitching of their own accord before they curved up into a smile of his own.

In an instant, that grin turned into a look of utter seriousness as Derpy regarded him carefully, both of her golden eyes focusing and boring deep into his own emerald green irises. “If you don’t mind, I have a really, really, super important question I have to ask.”

“Er, I suppose it’s fine,” he said slowly, looking to Twilight for support, but finding that she had lowered her head to console and assure little Scootaloo that she wasn’t in trouble. Harry was on his own here, though he couldn’t really find fault with his friend for trying to help an upset foal. He’d have to deal with these inevitable awkward questions about his heritage sooner or later…

“Do you like muffins?”

Or not.

Harry stared blankly as his mind tried to catch up with her innocent question, one of the few he wasn’t prepared to answer. The ponies crowded around rolled their eyes playfully and laughed; the white unicorn even gave Derpy a light push with her hoof and teasingly commended her for asking such a ‘ground breaking question’.

They were definitely taking his presence better than he expected. Shaking himself out of his stupor, Harry answered hesitantly. “Er… Yeah. Muffins are great.”

Derpy’s face-splitting grin was back as soon as it had vanished. “I knew it! New muffin buddy for life!” She cried happily, throwing her hooves around his neck and giving him a tight hug. “Ooh! Ooh! What’s your favorite? Is it strawberry or blueberry or chocolate chip or raspberry or –“

“Whoa there, filly!” The spikey maned unicorn laughed as she pulled Derpy back with a bit of telekinesis. With his focus turned on her, Harry noticed that her entire look practically screamed cool. With spikey two-toned mane and matching tail, she was the embodiment of what every muggle rock star tried to portray. “Give the guy a little room to breath! Anyways, muffins aside,” she said teasingly. “The name’s Vinyl Scratch, aka the magnificent mistress of music, DJ-PON3!”

The mare with the pink bowtie rolled her eyes, smiling despite her annoyance with her friend. Contrary to Vinyl, her mane and tail, both a dark brown, were sleek, neatly combed and properly maintained, giving her an air of refinement. “I seriously think you have a thing for alliteration,” she chided.

“And the one who just used a word that I don’t know the meaning of is Octavia Philharmonica, but I just call her Octy, or Tavi, or Octy-slash-Tavi!”

“Help me,” Octavia deadpanned. “Somepony, please, just put me out of my misery.”

Harry watched awkwardly as the byplay continued, Vinyl playing the part of melodramatic, annoying friend while Octavia tried in vain to instill some semblance of dignity to the conversation. A laugh from the mare with a blue and magenta mane drew his attention away from the bantering duo. “Don’t worry about those two, they’re always like this,” she giggled. “I’m Bon Bon, I run a local confectionary down the street!”

“And I’m Berry!” A grinning mare with magenta coat and mane threw in. “Berry Punch! I make and sell berry jams!”

A light chuckle from the Doctor drew the young wizard’s attention back to the only stallion of the group. “Ah, yes, what marvelous jams they are!” He praised, earning a blush from the mare in question. “I don’t believe I’ve formally introduced myself, sorry about that, really should remember introductions first, then sonic, then brilliant –“

“Doctor,” Derpy interrupted with exasperation. “You’re rambling again.”

“- Right, well, good point! I am the Doctor!” He finished, without missing a beat. “Hello!”

Harry waited for the stallion to finish his introduction and give his actual name, but the odd, brown-coated pony simply smiled expectantly, as if he were waiting for something. “Err… “ Harry had a feeling that he was about to bite on whatever bait was being left, but he just couldn’t help it. “Doctor who?”

“Time Turner,” Derpy cut in with a roll of her eyes, the first time Harry had seen both of her eyes match up since waking. “He just likes to be mysterious.”

“Yes, yes, that’s what they call me here,” Turner grumped, disappointed that his introduction had been suitably ruined by his friend.

His sudden shift in mood came as a surprise to Harry, who turned to Derpy with a look as if to say “What’s wrong with him?”

Fortunately, Derpy knew exactly how to deal with a moody Time Turner. “Doctor,” she said, poking him with a hoof. “If you stop being frowny and moody I’ll let you have an English muffin! Even if they do taste like cardboard,” she muttered the last part under her breath, just loud enough for Harry to catch. But Doctor Turner was focused on something else.

“Ooh! Can I put butter on it?” Was this guy serious?

She sighed. “Yes, you can have as much butter as you want.” The joyous squeal that came from the stallion was just too much, of all the things Harry had seen, talking dragons and ponies, fillies riding on scooters, this particular stallion was definitely an oddball.

“Go on,” Harry’s attention shifted to Twilight as she gently nudged Scootaloo forward with her muzzle. “Don’t be afraid, he’s really nice.”

Fortunately, Harry caught on quickly, a first, considering his typical awkward nature when it came to socializing. But, then again, he’d seen that deer-in-the-headlights look when he stared at his own reflection, so he had a feeling that he could understand her nervousness.

She was probably feeling the same as he did whenever he dropped a plate at the Dursleys’. Not something he wished on anyone, or anypony for that matter.

Harry crouched down, bringing himself to her eye level and trying to make himself as unintimidating as possible. “Hello, again,” he said softly.

Scootaloo flinched slightly, still a bit unsure of his temperament. “H-Hi,” she said, not meeting his eyes.

With a sigh, the young wizard decided to nip this in the bud. Really, this needed to stop before he earned a reputation for scaring little fillies. “If I remember, I said I wasn’t mad at you. You don’t think I was lying, do you?”

“Of course not!” She cried in protest. “I just –“

“Then stop worrying about it,” he interrupted casually. “Yes, it hurt. I’ll probably have a rather nasty bruise from it, but accidents happen.”

Torn between relief and compulsive need to apologize for yet another one of her tricks going wrong, Scootaloo stammered, looking between Harry and the ground several times, unsure of what to say or do in front of the strange creature she’d run into.

Her salvation came in the form of the yellow filly from before stepping forward and nudging her slightly. “See? Ah told ya he wouldn’t be mean, Scoots!” She crowed happily in her southern drawl. “Harry’s a nice – uh – no offense, mister, but what in tarnation are ya?”

There it is! Straight from the mouth of a young foal!

It seems that the universal truth about children saying exactly what was on their minds applied to alternate worlds or dimensions as well.

Oh, well. He’d been waiting for that one, anyway. “I’m a human,” he replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Oh, horseapples, I owe Lyra thirty bits” Bon Bon muttered, much to the amusement of quite a few of the adults. Even Twilight rolled her eyes and smiled at the mention of the absent mare. Harry had a feeling that he was missing a rather well known joke, but let it slide.

The new species name had, naturally, attracted the full attention of the trio of curious fillies. “What’s a human?” the white unicorn asked innocently.

How best to explain this? “Something that walks on two legs and looks a bit like me,” he replied, giving as simple a description as possible.

“But where’s your coat?” Scootaloo threw in.

“We don’t have much hair, most of it’s on our head.”

“So ya’ll have manes like us but not full coats?”

“I suppose that’s about right, yes.”

“Coooooooooooool!” The trio gaped in perfect unison, down the same shared look of wide-eyed awe. Harry couldn’t help but feel the urge to make a rather embarrassing sound at how utterly adorable the unintentional quirk was, an urge he resisted valiantly.

World of multi-colored, talking ponies or not, there would be no emasculating noises coming from this human, thank you very much.

Shifting back to the topic at hand, Harry couldn’t exactly say that he found anything about his explanation or presence “cool”. Though, in retrospect, he could see where they were coming from; they were talking with a member of a supposed fictional species, similar to how he was currently standing among a bunch of talking ponies.

Shocking initially, but there was a definite sense of awe in each exchange, from his conversations with Twilight and Spike to his rapid-fire introduction to the townsponies. Truth be told, it was all quite surreal.

Even more so to a trio of young fillies, he imagined with a smile. These three were so happy and full of youthful innocence, something he had been stripped of. But he could hardly hold that against them, what did they know?

They thought he was “cool” just because he was something new. For once, he wasn’t the center of attention because of something that happened when he was a baby, because of something that cost him his parents. Here, he was being treated relatively well and looked at as something special because he was, by definition, unique. He wasn’t Harry the Boy Who Lived; he was Harry the human boy.

Sure, that would earn him some stares and odd questions, but both were expected. As he’d already stated, the citizens of Ponyville had every right to be stare a bit, at least they had legitimate cause for confusion.

As opposed to staring at him because he had an oddly shaped scar or the rare ability to converse with snakes…

A light hoof to his left forearm jolted Harry from his distracted state; he really needed to stop that or he’d start talking to himself. Well, more than he already did, anyways. Focusing his gaze back on the fillies before him, he found the owner of the offending hoof to be the yellow filly, who seemed to be awaiting some sort of reply. “Sorry, got lost in thought,” he said sheepishly.

She rolled her eyes and gave a light huff. “Ah swear, grown ups do that a lot,” she complained. “We were tryin’ ta tell ya our names, Mister Harry!”

“Just Harry,” he laughed. “Sorry, it’s a habit of mine. What did you say your names were?” Almost instantaneously, the three fillies brightened up and jumped into a neat row, as if they’d practiced this all before.

“Ah’m Apple Bloom!” the one who had poked him out of his brief stupor chirped.

“Sweetie Belle!” The white unicorn threw in with a little jump of excitement.

Having gotten over her fear of punishment, Scootaloo gave a cocky smirk and flutter of her wings. “And I’m Scootaloo! And together, we’re…”

“THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!” The trio cried in perfect, practiced unison.

Again, the surrounding ponies chuckled, some in amusement, others with some nervousness, at some sort of inside joke and dispersed, seemingly deciding that they could go about their business now that things had been sorted out. Harry was left at a loss for words as he stared blankly at the fillies who were grinning innocently up at him. He shot Twilight a questioning look, but was only given a smile and gesture towards the ones who’d greeted him in the first place.

Twilight wanted him to get his own answers. She wasn’t going to spoon feed him, he had to interact and get familiar with the locals on his own, albeit with her watching from a safe distance in case he stuck his foot in his mouth. Time to see if he could avoid the proverbial landmines.

“Er… nice to meet you all,” Harry replied hesitantly, more concerned with the way they identified themselves than anything. “What exactly are you –“

“Hey! Twilight said you’re new, right?” Scootaloo cut him off excitedly. “You’ve never been to Ponyville before?”

“Well, no, I’m not from around here. But could you –“

This time, Sweetie Belle interrupted him in much the same manner as her winged friend. “So, today is your first day in town?”

“Yes, but –“

“Well, somepony needs ta show ya around,” Apple Bloom said with a decisive nod.

“Well, Twilight was showing me –“

Despite his attempts to be heard, Harry found himself in the awkward position of being ignored by three little fillies. “Are ya’ll thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?”

“As sure as I’ve got feathers!” Her partners in crime, who turned to Harry in such perfect unison that it nearly caused him to take a cautionary step back, mirrored Scootaloo’s excited grin.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS, TOUR GUIDES! YAY!” The teenage wizard winced at their volume, certain that this was part of the reason the townsponies were sharing knowing grins when they saw the young trio focus their attention on him.

The fact that Twilight seemed to be suppressing her own giggles should have been a big hint.

Fortunately, his horned friend chose that moment to intervene on his behalf. “Now, hang on a moment, girls,” she chided, still smiling broadly at the Crusaders.  “You can’t just drag Harry all over town without asking.”

Or not. The moment Twilight finished speaking all three little fillies hit him with another dose of their dreaded puppy dog eyes, crushing his resolve almost instantly. “W-well, Twilight was already giving me a tour…” his voice trailed off, as the fillies’ eyes somehow seemed to grow bigger and started to shimmer. This just wasn’t fair at all. Seriously, this had to be against the Geneva Convention.

Oh, wait. Wrong world.

“Er… well… you could always help, if Twilight’s not against it…”

“It’s fine with me,” the mare replies instantly, earning another cheer from the Crusaders. “We might as well start here, girls. This is the town square, Harry. Ponies come from far and wide to set up stalls and sell their products here.”

Looking around, Harry noticed that the town square was, as she described, set up in the style of a farmer’s market, with a few permanent shops set up along the perimeter. Everything from fruits to vegetables to building supplies were on display, ponies wandered between stalls, comparing products and haggling prices with the salesponies.

“Mah family has a stand set up here, too!” Apple Bloom chipped in, pointing a hoof towards a stand in the middle of the road, which had several different kinds of apples on display. From vibrant red to light green, big to small, the stand had them all and, though Harry didn’t consider himself a connoisseur of fruit, they looked absolutely spectacular. Not the slightest sign of discoloration or blemish on them. There was just one thing missing.

“Hey, isn’t it Applejack’s day at the stand?” Scootaloo asked, reaching up and scratching her ear with a hoof, in a display of flexibility Harry hadn’t thought possible for a pony.

“Yeah, she should be there,” Apple Bloom replied, tilting her head in confusion. “Ah know for sure that she’d never leave without a reason, and never without havin’ Big Mac come and cover for a bit.”

“APPLE BLOOM!” As if on cue, a shout rang out from directly behind the group, causing the fillies and Harry to jump in surprise, while Twilight simply turned around, used to her friend’s loud demeanor when she’d been angered.

In stereo, the Crusaders winced and shared a worried look. “Uh oh,” they muttered as an orange-coated mare with white freckles on her muzzle, forest green eyes and blond mane strode forward, her Stetson tilted, serving to accentuate the stern glare she was giving the trio of fillies.

“Uh, hey, sis,” Apple Bloom greeted, nervously shuffling her hooves in the dirt road as her older sister stood before her. “What’re you doin’ away from the apple stand?”

The older mare snorted. “Ah was deliverin’ some apples to the Cakes, since they can’t leave the foals alone for more ‘n two seconds before they start causin’ trouble, then Ah nearly got bowled over by Pinkie when she grabbed me and started chatterin’ away about some big party she was gonna put on for some new feller tonight!” Because she was so focused on Apple Bloom, the new mare didn’t notice Harry giving Twilight a nervous glance at the mention of the inevitable ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party. She continued on, oblivious to the human’s presence. “When Ah finally managed to get her to let me go, Ah ran into Vinyl and Octavia, who told me that you three ran over some poor pony in the middle of the road!”

“We didn’t run over a pony!” Sweetie Belle objected fervently.

“Ponyfeathers you didn’t!” She spat, stomping a hoof in agitation. “Vinyl told me that ya’ll knocked down some new feller named Hairy! Knocked the poor stallion out cold from what she said!”

Scootaloo stepped forward to defend her friends. “They didn’t run him over, I did!” She admitted. “But, technically, I didn’t run over a pony!”

“What in tarnation are you talkin’ about? Ah know mah hearin’ ain’t so bad that Ah don’t know when Ah’m told you ran somepony over!”

“Applejack,” Twilight interjected, choosing that moment to come to the fillies’ aid. “They’re telling the truth. Scootaloo ran Harry over on her scooter, but he’s not a pony.”

“Twi, ya’ll are makin’ less sense ‘n Pinkie on a sugar rush!” Applejack said, quirking a brow in disbelief. “What did she run over then? A dog?”

“Er, no, she ran into me.”

Applejack turned at the sound of a new voice, fully intending to apologize for the Crusaders’ antics and assure him that she’d be having a word with them about causing trouble in town, but she stopped short at his appearance.

Her mouth hung open, her eyes widened at the sight of the strange… thing in front of her. “Buh… Who… How… What?!”

Twilight couldn’t help but giggle at the stunned look on her friend’s face. “Harry, this is Applejack, one of my friends. Applejack, this is Harry.”

As the country mare gaped, trying and failing to find the words to properly reply, but too focused on Harry’s rather alien appearance.

“I think you broke her, Twilight!” Scootaloo snickered, earning a light hoof from Apple Bloom.

“Watch it, that’s mah sister!” She chided, not bothering to hide her amusement at her sister’s shock. “Even if she does look mighty funny like that! Ya’ll have to hang out with us more, Harry!”

“But, Ah don’t…” Applejack stammered, finally finding her voice. “Ah coulda sworn Vinyl said he was a pony!”

“Well, she wasn’t lying when she told you that somepony had been run over,” Twilight paused, raising a hoof to her chin to consider her wording for a moment, before turning to Harry. “Though, I really can’t say ‘somepony’ when you’re involved, can I? What was that you said earlier? ‘Someone’?”

“Can we discuss linguistic differences later?” Harry asked, nervously eyeing the new mare, taking notice that she looked much stronger than any of the ponies he’d encountered so far.

“But it’s important to know how to refer to you! Otherwise, everypony will get confused!”

“Maybe, but I think I’d like to not get bucked in the head right now.”

Harry’s offhand comment was enough to jolt the stunned mare out of her shock and straight into indignation. “Now, hold on there, mister!” She said, stepping forward and pointing a hoof at his chest. “Ah don’t very much appreciate you talkin’ like Ah spend my time goin’ around hurtin’ ponies or whatever you are! Ah’ll admit, Ah was surprised and the way Ah acted was a might rude, but ya’ll surprised me with yer… well… ya’ll look rather…”

Seeing her struggle to find the proper wording, Harry decided to help supply a few adjectives. “Weird? Abnormal? Freakish?” The teenage wizard noticed that the ponies, especially Twilight, were giving him some rather odd looks, almost as if they were horrified that he would describe himself as such. “What? I was thinking of the normal ones –“

“Excuse me?” Twilight snapped. “That’s how you normally think of yourself?”

“No, it’s just sort of what I expected when we started walking around,” he paused and turned to Applejack. “Am I wrong?”

“Well… uh… Ah wouldn’t say ‘freakish’, mister… but… well… ya’ll do look a lot different than us.”

“Well, yes, I’m obviously not a pony, I’m not even from this world,” he admitted.

Applejack tilted her head curiously, in a manner almost identical to the way Apple Bloom had earlier. “Then, if ya don’t mind mah askin’, what exactly are ya?”

“I’m a human.”

“A human?” He nodded once. “Yer pullin’ mah leg, right?”

“Not at all.”

She groaned, stomping her hoof on the ground again. “Aw, hayseed! Ah owe Lyra thirty bits!” Before Harry could ask about why ponies were complaining about owing somepony named Lyra money, Applejack gave him a look of mock irritation. “Why couldn’t you be a diamond dog?”

“Applejack!” Twilight scolded lightly, failing to stifle a grin at her friend’s loss.

“Oh, hush, you!” She laughed, giving her friend a gentle shove, which nearly took her off her hooves. “Ah’m only havin’ a bit of fun!” Her laughter only increased as Twilight leveled her with that half-lidded, deadpan look that the townsponies had affectionately dubbed the ‘stern librarian’ look.

It was a look that quite a few had been subjected to whenever they brought a book back damaged in the slightest or late. Twilight Sparkle took any job given to her seriously, especially if they came from Princess Celestia.

Still chuckling, Applejack turned her gaze back to Harry. “So, where exactly are ya from if not Equestria?”

“Well, it’s hard to explain,” he said awkwardly.

“Is it far away?” Sweetie Belle asked excitedly.

“I’m not sure, but probably.”

“Where is it?”

“Like I said, I’m not sure. I don’t even know where this is.”

“This is Ponyville, silly!” Scootaloo laughed. “In Equestria!”

“Well, I know that, I mean I don’t know where Equestria is in relation to where I’m from!”

“Well, tell us where yer from, Harry!” Apple Bloom chipped in. “Ah’ll be we could find it on a map if you told us! Maybe yer not a pony, but ya do have a bit of a Trottingham accent, maybe that’s where yer from!”

Harry shook his head with a sad smile, appreciative of the little fillies’ attempts to help, but resigned to what he already knew. “I’m afraid not. I know I’m not from here. The place I’m from was called England, and while I can’t say I know all the countries or cities in my world, I’m sure that I’ve never heard of places like Ponyville, Canterlot, Trottingham or even Equestria.”

“But… that means…” Scootaloo began, eyes shining with sympathy for Ponyville’s newest resident.

“Yer all alone?” Apple Bloom finished sadly.

Twilight shook her head and stepped forward. “No, he’s not,” she replied evenly, giving a smile to the trio of fillies. “He’s got me, he’s got Spike, he’s got the ponies who saw him in town today and he has you.”

“Darn right,” Applejack nodded. “Ya’ll ain’t a pony, but if we can have dragons ‘n donkeys ‘n zebras in Ponyville, a human’s more ‘n welcome in mah book!”

The feeling of warmth in his chest was similar to that of the one Harry felt when the Weasleys had welcomed him into their home during the summer before Second Year. Acceptance like this was something he didn’t have experience with; though he really did try not to focus on it too much, there was a distinct difference in the way these ponies treated him and the way his own people did during times of crisis.

The ponies admitted that he was foreign to them, but they didn’t seem to have a problem reserving judgment for now.  And while Applejack’s reaction to him wasn’t as accepting initially, her blunt honesty about the reason for her shock was quite refreshing.

Perhaps for the first time since arriving, Harry could say that he didn’t feel as worried. Sure, he’d been knocked out by a little filly on her scooter, fell headfirst into a dragon, caught the attention of royalty just by being here and had a rather interesting meeting with the townsponies, but he hadn’t been tarred and feathered yet. And that was definitely a plus.

Maybe he could give this place a chance for a while; if they at least gave him the benefit of the doubt for the time being, then waiting for Princess Celestia, whoever she might be, to find a way to send him home might not be such a bad thing.

And maybe…. What the hell was that whistling sound?

“WOOOAAAAAH!” This time, Harry threw his hands up to protect his face and ducked low, hoping that whatever was headed for him go hurdling overhead, relatively safely, sparing him further injury to his head.

His efforts were rewarded by a cyan bullet hitting him directly in the stomach, driving all the wind from his lungs, lifting him off his feet and sending him flying backwards as its momentum carried both forward, before hitting the ground in a painful tangle of limbs, clothes and feathers.

“Owwwww, sheeeeeeesh!” The mare groaned, rubbing a hoof over the bump forming on her head. Wincing slightly, she pushed herself into a sitting position. “Oh, dang, you alright du – WHAT THE HAY?!” She leapt into the air, flapping her powerful wings to keep her hovering above the groaning teen.

As Harry lay on his back, groaning and clutching his now aching stomach as he tried to hold down his meager breakfast, he came to one conclusion:

The pegasi definitely had it out for him.

A Dash of Friendship

Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series or the My Little Pony franchise, nor do I claim rights to any of their characters.

Chapter 4: A Dash of Friendship

Twilight grabbed the newcomer’s prismatic tail in her magic and yanked her back down to the ground, turning her around and bringing her muzzle-to-muzzle with the irritated librarian. “Rainbow Dash! How many times do we have to tell you not to practice stunt flying in town?”

“I was high enough! I just hit a rough patch and couldn’t get control in time! More importantly, what in the name of Celestia’s horn is that?”

“That’s Harry,” the downed human moaned, clutching his stomach in pain. “And it’s a human.”

“You mean those weird things Lyra’s always going on about?”

“Apparently.”

Dash raised a brow and gave Twilight a look of amusement. “Heh, nice. Does he always speak in third pony?”

“No,” the unicorn replied testily. “He’s just been run over twice in the last half hour, and I doubt being hit by something moving as fast as you were is helping.”

Applejack snorted and threw in her two bits. “You ain’t kiddin’, Twi. That poor stallion looks like he got run over by the Friendship Express! Probably feels that way, too!”

The rainbow-maned pegasus winced in sympathy. “Oh, dang, sorry dude! Who hit him the first time?” Scootaloo’s sudden attention to her hooves didn’t go missed by her idol. “Let me guess, doing tricks on the scooter again?”

“Yeah,” the filly admitted shamefully.

“Dang it, Scoots! How many times have I told you not to do that in town?”

“Probably ‘bout the same amount we’ve told you not to practice stunt flyin’ in town,” Applejack quipped.

“Hey! I’m a firm believer in ‘do as I say, not as I do’!” Rainbow Dash shot back. “I know I’m awesome, hay, everypony knows that, but I can own up to my own mistakes!”

“Got me there, Ah guess.”

“Dang right I do!” The daredevil grinned, turning back to her latest victim and offering him a hoof. “Sorry about that, dude! I was working on a move called the Fantastic Filly Strut, but I got caught in a bit of a tailspin – dang express delivery ponies never watch where they’re going – and, well, here we are! But, yeah, the name’s Rainbow Dash! Future Wonderbolt and all around awesome pony!”

“Pleasure,” Harry wheezed, accepting both the hoof and the light tug she gave to help him to his feet. He staggered a bit as his body readjusted and leveled both pegasi with a look. “You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say that the pegasi are out to get me.”

Before Scootaloo could object or apologize again, Rainbow snorted and grinned before giving a retaliatory barb. “Yeah, we heard this weirdo that walked around on two legs, wore heavy clothes and looked like a hairless monkey except for the bird’s nest on top of his head,” she extended a wing and buffeted against his head, ruffling his hair and making even more of a mess of it. “Was skipping around with Twilight, so we decided to take care of that little problem.” The lone human couldn’t help but laugh at the nonchalant, airy manner in which she delivered the line. “Oh, I like this one, Twilight! He’s got good taste in humor! Can we keep him? I promise I’ll feed him and walk him and bathe him!”

Twilight and Applejack groaned and facehooved, leaving Harry with the perfect opportunity for a retort of his own. Really, he needed something silly to take his mind off of all the seriousness he’d been dealing with today. “No, I just thought it was funny that a pony who can’t even pull herself out of a tailspin thinks she can ‘take care’ of this little problem,” he drawled, quirking an eyebrow as if daring her to one up him.

Little did he realize, but Dash was always up for a challenge. She could tell he was kidding, hay; he even earned points for use of her little accident. But that didn’t mean he was off the hook. Anypony, or human, who challenged Rainbow Dash was gonna get exactly what they asked for.

In this case, the resident human had just earned himself a very special initiation session of her favorite game…

“READYSETGO!” She cried, launching herself forward and tackling him to the ground.

“What in the world are you doing?!” Harry shouted, trying to push himself up, only to be shoved back down by the quick hoofwork of the laughing mare. He tried to shift his arms to gain leverage, but no matter which way he moved, Rainbow Dash shifted with him and pressed her hooves down on his arms or shoulders, trying to pin him to the ground.

To his surprise, none of the other ponies moved to stop her! Rather, the Crusaders were cheering!

“Go Harry!” Sweetie Belle chirped, bouncing in place as the older mare managed to pin his legs.

“Get ‘em Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo laughed. “That’ll show him to make jokes about pegasi!”

“Watch out fer her wings, Harry!” Apple Bloom called out. “Rainbow likes to play dirty with those feathers of hers!”

Rainbow grinned broadly as she finally managed to get one of his flailing arms pinned under her foreleg. “Only one limb left,” she crowed. “Better move or I’m gonna be the first pony to outwrestle a human!”

“Outwrestle a – are you insane? Twilight! Get her off of me!”

“I’ll pass,” Twilight giggled. “Remember that friend I mentioned this morning? This is she. Rainbow loves to roughhouse, and you just threw down the challenge. I might have magic, but I’m not stepping in the middle of this one!”

“Darn right she’s not!” The cyan pegasus laughed. “You’re on your own here, scruffy! And, right now, you’re on your last limb!”

“A little warning would’ve been nice!” He wheezed, his lungs losing air due to the sudden addition of Rainbow’s weight. “Really! Get off! I can’t breath!”

His comment made Rainbow stop, but not for the reasons he wanted. Narrowing her magenta eyes, she brought her muzzle just inches away from his face. “You calling me fat?”

Uh oh. Danger Will Robinson! “Uh… no?”

“Oh, you asked for it, wise guy!” Rainbow growled playfully as she finally managed to pin his second arm. Harry struggled and squirmed beneath her, but he couldn’t free himself. She definitely had him, and it was a fact that the mare pinning him reveled in.

As did her biggest fan. “Rainbow wins again!” Scootaloo cheered, jumping and buzzing her tiny wings with joy.

“Aw, Ah wanna see a rematch,” Apple Bloom pouted. “She only won ‘cause she jumped him!”

“Oh, the show’s not over, girls!” Rainbow called back, her eyes not leaving Harry’s. The boy noticed that they seemed to take on a very mischievous gleam. “Our little human just earned himself a little extra for that last comment of his!”

A low chuckle from Applejack drew Harry’s attention away from the spectral pegasus’s eyes. “Yer in for it now, bucko!” She laughed. “Shouldn’t have said anything about her bein’ a little heavy on ya!”

Harry looked back at his attacker, confused, and noticed that she’d unfurled her wings and moved them into position on either side of him, right next to his ribcage. His eyes widened in realization. She wouldn’t!

She would. Rainbow softly traced a line up and down the sides of her pinned victim, laughing at the way he squirmed and writhed, trying to escape her teasing feathers, all while biting down on his lips to try and prevent himself from submitting to her torment.

Well, that was fine, she had a solution for that little trick, too. “You know,” she began with a conspiratorial stage whisper. “Scoots isn’t the only one who can buzz her wings…”

Just as she planned, Harry’s eyes widened in realization. “No! Don’t!”

Bingo!

The instant he opened his mouth to protest, Rainbow made good on her threat and gave her wings a light buzz. It was nothing to her, hardly an effort, but more than enough to send her victim into peals of laughter.

“Who’s heavy now?” She mocked, giving her wings a more insistent buzz against his sides. “Who’re you calling fat?”

“No – pfft! No one!” He cried between laughs. “Oh – haha – M- er-her-her-her-lin! My ri-hi-hibs! Please!”

Rainbow shook her head in mock disappointment at his wording and gave another quick buzz. “Nope, gotta speak Equine, dude! Not sure what a ‘no one’ is, so looks like you’re gonna laugh until you burst!”

“No pony! No pony! You’re not he-he-heavy! I can’t even fe-he-hehehe-heel you!”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought!” The pegasus laughed victoriously as she hopped off of him and stood to the side as he regained his breath. Rainbow poked him a couple of times with a hoof, forcing him to roll over onto his hands and knees and start pushing himself to his feet again. “C’mon, dude, don’t tell me a little post-wrestling tickle session was too much for you!”

“Ease up a bit there, Dash,” Applejack chided. “He ain’t exactly havin’ a dream of a first day, y’know!”

Her pegasus friend rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, well, serious time over, awesome time now! And I’m awesome enough for pretty much all of Equestria!”

“And humble enough, too,” Harry grumbled as he finally made it to his feet, earning a round of giggles from the Crusaders, Applejack and Twilight and a glare from Rainbow.

“What was that? Coulda sworn I just heard you ask for another round?”

“I’ll be good!”

The Crusaders were rolling on the ground at this point, both at Harry’s immediate response and the backwards flinch he’d taken the moment he heard the threat of a second round of wrestling with the tomboyish pegasus. Matching grins from the other two mares gave light to their own amusement in the situation.

“I’m sure you will,” Rainbow cooed teasingly, reaching up to ruffle his hair again. “I’ll even give you a treat if you behave for the rest of the day!”

“Wonderful,” he deadpanned. “I’ve gone from suspected cheater to science project to pet in a day!”

“What was that first one?” Twilight asked, all traces of joking gone.

“Long story, I’ll tell you the full version later. For now, let’s just say that, back home, I’ve been blamed for something that I didn’t do and have been taking a lot of heat from fellow students.”

“”But –“

“Now really isn’t the time,” he interrupted, glancing at the Crusaders, who were still laughing at Rainbow’s joke.

“Fine,” Twilight huffed. “But you’re telling me everything when we get back to the library!”

Applejack nodded. “Ah’m with Twilight. Ya’ll seemed bothered when ya mentioned the ‘cheatin’ thing, so Ah’m more ‘n a bit interested in that one.”

Before Harry could open his mouth to object to the farm mare’s additional presence, Rainbow cut in and shot him down, hovering in the air so she could cross her hooves and give him a stern look, a look that seemed out of place on her muzzle. “Don’t try to ditch out on this one, dude. You brought it up, so I wanna hear it too!”

“What’re ya’ll talkin’ about?” Apple Bloom asked, somehow appearing at Harry’s heels without warning. “Ah wanna hear!”

“Yeah! Who’s a cheater?” Scootaloo asked, jumping up and down eagerly.

Not wanting to be left out, Sweetie Belle zipped over and started jumping in place alongside her pegasus friend. “Yeah! Cutie Mark Crusaders, human story listeners!”

“YAY!” The trio chorused, not missing a beat.

“It’s not something I feel comfortable talking about – hang on,” he stopped suddenly, his thoughts turning to the way the fillies had identified themselves, as if they were part of some sort of club. “You said it again.”

“Said what?” The fillies asked in unison, tilting their heads to the side.

“That thing, you called yourselves something when you introduced yourselves. You just said it again.”

“What? Cutie Mark Crusaders?” Apple Bloom offered.

“Yes, that,” he nodded. “What is that?”

Scootaloo gave him a look that showed that she felt the answer should be fairly obvious. “It’s our club, silly! We go around trying to find our special talent so we can get our Cutie Marks!”

“And… what exactly are ‘Cutie Marks’?” The blank stares and blinking was more than enough to tell Harry that this was a subject that was fairly common knowledge here.

Ever the prepared student, Twilight was the first to recover. “You… don’t know what a Cutie Mark is?”

“Not the slightest clue.”

“Ya haven’t noticed?” Applejack put in. “The marks on our flanks didn’t stand out or nothin’?”

“Well, I don’t typically spend my time staring at people’s… ponies’… backsides… I mean flanks… whatever! I don’t normally look there!”

The trio of mares exchanged looks with one another, before turning to give him a view of the marks they spoke of. “These,” Twilight began. “Are Cutie Marks. They appear on a pony’s flank when he or she finds their special talent.”

“Mine’s apple farmin’,” Applejack explained, pointing to the trio of bright red apples that adorned her orange-coated flank.

Rainbow darted forward and pointed a hoof at the image of a cloud with a tricolored lightning bolt. Harry couldn’t help but admire the colors; they were as diverse as her namesake and equally as vibrant. “Mine is flying!”

That left Twilight, who simply smiled and allowed Harry to examine her mark: a magenta starburst, circled by six tiny stars. “My Cutie Mark represents magic,” she explained. “My special talent.”

“No kidding!” Rainbow Dash laughed. “Talented enough that she’s the Bearer of the Element of Magic!”

“Well, yes,” the purple unicorn admitted, her cheeks coloring slightly at her friend’s praise. “But that’s not important right now!”

“Fine, fine. So, any other questions?”

“As a matter of fact, yes,” Harry said, turning to look at the Crusaders. “Not to be rude, but where are your marks? Or is that what you meant by trying to find your ‘special talents’?”

The trio of fillies hung their heads sadly. “Yeah,” Sweetie Belle pouted. “Everypony in our class has theirs, we’re the only ones left who don’t!”

“So, you ‘Crusade’ to find your talents?”

“Eeyup!” Apple Bloom answered, bouncing back from her momentary bout of self-pitying and giving a grin. “We’ll find our talents soon enough! We just haven’t tried the right stuff yet!”

Scootaloo followed suit, buzzing her wings in excitement. “Yeah! We’ll find a way! Hey! I know! What’s your talent, Harry?”

“Uh… what?”

“Your special talent! The thing that helped you get your mark! Maybe that can help us find ours!”

Harry blinked in confusion, hadn’t he just explained that he didn’t know what a Cutie Mark was? “We… Humans don’t have Cutie Marks, Scootaloo.”

“What? But… But how do you know what your talents are?” She asked, sounding horrified that anypony would go without a definite way of finding his or her talents.

“We find them on our own,” he replied with a shrug of his shoulders. “It’s part of human life.”

“Then… what about that?” Scootaloo pressed as she looked at a point slightly above his eyes.

“What about what?”

“That!” She repeated, pointing with a hoof. “That lightning bolt looking thing on your head!”

Harry felt a clump of ice drop into his stomach as the words sunk in, as all attention was drawn to his most hated feature. All eyes went straight to that damn scar on his forehead.

And he’d been so happy that no pony had stared at it for any length of time, too.

“Hey, you’re right, Scoots!” Rainbow praised, reaching down to ruffle her mane. “Looks like you do have a mark, dude!”

Applejack stepped closer to take a better look. “Eeyup, she’s right on the money there! Though, Ah’ve never seen one that dark, other ‘n Princess Luna’s, that is.”

“Hmm, you don’t have wings, so I doubt that it has anything to do with flight, like Rainbow Dash’s mark,” Twilight muttered as she examine the scar on his forehead. “Is it supposed to represent your magic? Do you specialize in weather or elemental magic?”

It took a moment for Harry to find the words, even longer to find his voice as the sound of his mother begging her murderer for her child’s life echoed in his mind, along with that high, cold, cruel laughter that was so familiar to him.

The laughter of Lord Voldemort.

“It’s… not like a Cutie Mark,” he muttered, a bit of sadness in his tone. “It’s something else…”

“What is it then?” Apple Bloom asked. “It looks an awful lot like one!”

The human teen shook his head. “It’s not. Believe me, it’s not. It was… It was an accident.”

He couldn’t help it, he just couldn’t tell them. Not Scootaloo, not Sweetie Belle, not Apple Bloom, they were too young to know. He didn’t really know Applejack or Rainbow Dash that well, but they didn’t need to know that either. He didn’t need them to pity him both for being a stranger in a new world and for being an orphan.

But he definitely couldn’t tell Twilight. He just couldn’t. She didn’t need the burden of that knowledge, none of them did.

Of course, he’d already made Ponyville’s resident librarian curious, so she just had to ask. “What happened?”

This time, he had a reply ready. “It’s not something I like to talk about,” he admitted truthfully. “Not a very good day for me.”

Sensing the sudden shift in mood, Rainbow zipped over and threw a hoof around Harry’s shoulders. “Hey! I said less seriousness, more awesomeness! So, let’s get back to fun stuff, ‘kay?” While she definitely wanted to break up the tense atmosphere, Rainbow wasn’t heartless. Hay, she’d have to be deaf and blind not to see how much of an effect a simple mention of that mark on his head was having on the newcomer.

Besides, if he was moping around all the time, she, along with the rest of her friends, would have to spend valuable time finding ways to cheer him up rather than doing something awesome like wrestling, pranking or putting on a stunt show. And that just wasn’t happening. Not when Rainbow ‘Danger’ Dash was on watch!

Even worse, Celestia and Luna forbid he mope around during Pinkie’s unavoidable “Welcome to Ponyville” party. Rainbow shuddered at the memory of the last pony who was grumpy during one of those; Pinkie could be quite inventive when it came to finding ways to make ponies smile.

“So!” She started cheerfully, practically dragging the teenage wizard over to the rest of the group. “What’s the plan, egghead? What’s in store for the latest victim of my physical superiority?”

Despite the good mood being ruined for the most part, Harry snorted. “You sure you don’t mean your superior body mass?”

“All I heard from that was ‘Hey, Rainbow Dash, please kick my flank again’!”

“Shutting up.” Dash gave him a wicked smirk that told him all he needed to know; he was off the hook for now, but next time, she’d serve his flank to him on a silver platter.

That was one source of embarrassment that he didn’t want to experience again. Though, with the look she was giving him, he’d end up in a rematch with her whether or not he made another comment about weight.

Looking to his unicorn friend for a way out, he found his hope lost at the amused look on her face. Evidently, Twilight was quite pleased that he’d made it past the initial awkwardness with Applejack and Rainbow and had even managed to get on what he assumed to be good terms.

His pleading look was not lost on Princess Celestia’s prized student. Twilight shook her head at the boy and decided to at least take some pity on him. “Rainbow wanting to roughhouse with you is her way of saying that you’re ‘cool enough’ to hang out with her. And no, there’s no way for Applejack or I to stop her.”

“Got that right!” The cyan pony boasted. “Even with magic, Egghead can’t pin me! AJ’s got more muscle on her than ten other earth ponies, and she still has trouble!”

“Ah think Ah gotta go with Harry on the humble comment, Dash,” Applejack drawled.

Rainbow held a hoof to her ear in a joking manner. “Sorry, AJ! Can’t hear you over how awesome I am!” She glanced out of the corner of her eye, and found that Harry was trying to subtly slip out of her grasp. Her cocky grin returned immediately as she gave him a little jerk back towards her. “Whoa, there, fuzzy top! You’re not slipping away that easy!”

“Why would I want to do that?” He asked innocently, drawing a raised eyebrow from his winged captor.

“Oh, I don’t know. I’m sure it’s got nothing to do with the fact that you’ve just earned yourself a permanent spot on the prestigious Rainbow Dash match card.”

Harry gulped. “Permanent?”

“That’s right,” she purred predatorily. “Consider that last one your ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ lightweight preview. Next time, you get the same kinda match Twilight gets!”

“… Oh… wonderful…”

“You’re so lucky, Harry!” Scootaloo cheered, happy that her idol and newest friend were getting along. “Rainbow says I have to wait a couple of years before I can wrestle her!”

“Err… thanks? I guess.”

Applejack had to laugh at the uncertainty evident in his voice. “Heh, that boy looks like he’d rather tangle with a rattler ‘n have a friendly wraslin’ match!”

“Let’s move on, girls,” Twilight cut in before Rainbow could continue their banter. “Before Rainbow’s ego is inflated even more!”

So maybe she wanted to get a shot in on Dash, too. As much as she wanted Harry to get past his awkwardness, she couldn’t very well leave him to the mercy of Applejack and Rainbow, those two were more likely to turn him into a stammering mess if she let them needle him without somepony to balance them out.

As funny as that might be, he still had to meet Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie.

“Psst! Twilight!” The purple unicorn was jolted out of her thoughts as a familiar voice called her name from somewhere behind the Apples’ stand. Pinkie? Sure enough, a pink-coated earth pony mare with big, bright blue eyes was waving her over with a hoof.

Speak of the mare who makes logic optional and she shall appear!

“Pin –“

“Shhhh!” Pinkie cut her off, holding a hoof over her lips. “Come here!”

Twilight made as if to ask why the heck Pinkie couldn’t just canter over and tell her whatever it was she wanted, but stopped short as she realized that this was Pinkie Pie, the only logic that mattered was whatever made sense to Pinkie at that given moment. Glancing back to her other friends, who were, as she predicted, taking turns teasing their human companion and laughing as his face took on a rather interesting shade of pink.

She shook her head in amusement and slipped away as quietly as she could. Harry would have to survive on his own for a bit while she tried to decipher whatever Pinkie wanted.

Along with whether or not she’d need a mug of the Apple family’s hard cider afterward.

As she approached the stand, Twilight started to greet her perpetually hyper friend, but before she could get the first syllable out, Pinkie grabbed her and yanked her behind the cart and out of sight.

“ACK! Pinkie Pie! What in Equestria are you doing?”

“SHHHHH!” Her friend shushed her again. “He’ll hear you!”

While Twilight was used to Pinkie’s eccentricities, she had to ask. “Who will hear you?”

“Him!” Pinkie hissed, pointing a hoof at Harry, who Twilight noticed, with no shortage of amusement, had somehow found himself in a wrestling match with Applejack, while Rainbow Dash and the Crusaders hooted and provided commentary. “Harry can’t know I’m here or it’ll ruin the surprise party!”

“Pinkie… we’ve told him that there’s going to be a – wait! How do you know his name?”

“Just a hunch!” She chirped, drawing a deadpan look from the studious unicorn.

Let it go, Twilight reminded herself. This is Pinkie Pie; nothing with her makes sense. Just let it go and move on. “Ok, Pinkie,” Twilight began slowly, trying not to give into the headache that was always associated with Pinkie’s more eccentric moments. “I’ll bite, why did you call me over?”

“Oh! Well, first my ears got tickly, then my hooves got the shivers! Which usually means that there's a new pony in town! But then, my tongue went dry, my teeth chattered and my eyes got scratchy like I was reading for a really, really long time! Which means that I need to go the the library! And then, when I went to the library, I saw him and thought to myself: 'Wow, self! He's new, not a pony, and looks an awful lot like a Harry! Hey! Let's throw him a party!' And now, here I am! Also, could you take Harry to Carousel Boutique first? Kinda need to do some stuff.”

Despite prior experiences with Pinkie's... Pinkieness, Twilight found herself gaping. "Pinkie... I don't even... None of that made the slightest bit of sense in any way."

For her part, Pinkie just shrugged. “If you say so. But seriously, take him to Carousel Boutique and keep him busy. I need a bit more time getting things ready. See ya later!”

With her message delivered, Pinkie bounced away, humming a tune to herself as Twilight struggled to make sense of her friend. After a moment of mental struggle, she simply gave up and decided to file it away under the many things that made Pinkie who she was.

She shook her head as she walked out from behind the apple stand and back towards her friends, giggling at the sight of Harry being pinned down and subjected to teasing from Applejack and Rainbow.

“Y’know, yer supposed to try and pin me, bucko,” Applejack grinned, looking at her victim through half-lidded green eyes. “Not flail those arms o’ yers around like a windmill.”

The pinned human glared back up at the farmpony, growling in frustration at the widening grin on her face and the poorly hidden guffaws from the ever-confident pegasus standing just a few feet away. “Well, excuse me for thinking that Rainbow was the only crazy, wrestling pony around here! And, seriously, get off!”

“Hear that, AJ?” Rainbow goaded. “He thinks you’re crazy!”

The orange-coated pony leaned closer to the fallen human, touching her snout to his nose and snorting threateningly. “Ah heard,” she growled playfully. “And Ah’m pretty sure that last part was a shot at mah weight, too!”

“W-What! No it wasn’t!” Harry protested frantically, dreading what cruel punishment the large country pony could think up for him.

“Now, now, ya’ll shouldn’t lie, bucko,” Applejack said in a mock stern tone. “That’s just as bad as talkin’ ‘bout a mare’s weight in mah book!”

“But –“

Rainbow cut his protest off, sharing a wink with her friend as she put forth a suggestion. “Hey, AJ! How’s about we teach our little human a lesson about how to treat fine mares, such as ourselves?”

“And just how do you suggest we do that?” The farmpony asked in faux confusion, having already caught on to her spectral-maned friend’s plan.

“Well, if we’re gonna keep him, we’ve gotta train him right?” She asked, grinning at the indignant look that crossed Harry’s face at her repeated joking that he was their pet. “So, we’ve gotta make sure he knows how to behave.”

“Ya mean like how Ah used to splash Winona with water when she was bad?”

“Sorta, but not quite. Fuzzy top might actually like being cooled off, since he’s got all those clothes on! We’ve gotta think of something he won’t like!” Ok, now he was starting to get worried. It was clear that they were just teasing, but there was something about the inconspicuous winking and shared gleam in their eyes that was rather frightening. His face betrayed his nervousness, as the pegasus laughed and walked slowly towards him. “I think he’s figured it out, AJ. So, how should we start off?”

Harry turned his eyes to his captor and gave her his most pleading look, hoping that she’d have pity on him. Judging by the smirk on her face, she’d been subjected to Apple Bloom’s puppy dog eyes enough to where his poor attempt at an imitation didn’t even faze her. She hummed to herself in consideration. “Well, we know that his sides are pretty ticklish, but Ah hear that some ponies are the same way on their hooves. Ah think we should see if his are, fer science, o’ course!”

Rainbow made as if to reply, but noticed Twilight approaching out of the corner of her eye. With a grin, she turned to the town librarian and decided to see if she couldn’t milk this a bit longer. “Hey, Twilight! We’re gonna see if human feet are as ticklish as hooves! Better get your notebook!”

“Maybe later,” she replied smoothly, laughing at the look Harry shot her as Applejack let him up. A look that showed a mixture of relief, gratitude and betrayal, probably when he caught on that she was only saving him temporarily. “He still has to meet the others.”

“Ah’d love to stick around ‘n chat with ya’ll s’more, but those apples ain’t gonna sell themselves!” Applejack declined with a tip of her hat to the young human. “Hope ya find a way home soon, but Ah won’t lie ‘n say that Ah don’t hope ya stick around fer a while. Ya seem alright enough.”

Of course, Rainbow had to have the last word. “Just want you to know, I definitely pinned him faster!” She gloated, drawing a groan from all but her self-proclaimed number one fan.

“It ain’t ‘bout speed,” the farmpony drawled as she turned to walk away. “A win’s a win on the scorecard.”

“Sounds more like some fancy talk from somepony too slow to keep up, if ya ask me! Right, fuzzy?” Before Harry could react, he found himself with Rainbow’s hoof around his shoulder and held in place.

He heaved a sigh, resigning himself to his fate of being dragged around by the speedster. “Leave me out of this,” he deadpanned. “I’ve already reached my quota for wrestling matches today.” His reply drew a chuckle from the farmpony as she trotted over to her stand and proceeded to greet Octavia and Vinyl, who, to Harry’s amusement, still seemed to be going back and forth, continuing the friendly argument from earlier.

“So, where are we taking scruffy next?” Rainbow cut off his observation, laughing at the slightly irritated look Harry gave her for the near-constant remarks about his hair.

“Well, Fluttershy’s cottage is a bit out of the way and Pinkie… is somewhere,” Twilight finished lamely. Come to think of it, she had no idea where her hyperactive friend was setting up the party either. “So we’ll visit them a bit later.”

“Rarity’s then?” the pegasus asked, receiving a nod of confirmation. “Oh, she’s just gonna love you!” She said, nudging him with an elbow. “A whole new species that wears clothes all the time! I’m sure her fashion senses are already tingling!”

Her laughter increased in volume at the visible shudder that passed through her human companion. Harry remembered his first actual trip to be fitted at Madam Malkin’s. While it wasn’t the most miserable experience of his life, it wasn’t exactly something he particularly enjoyed. Standing in place while someone took measurements, mumbled to herself, and then had you try on clothes that they picked out wasn’t his idea of a good time.

And those needles… Yeah, he definitely wanted to avoid those.

Twilight caught on to his expression and spoke up. “It won’t be that bad,” she tried. “She’s a wonderful designer, but I’m sure she’ll be considerate.”

“Pfft! If he doesn’t end up standing in place while she tries to figure out how to make clothes for him, I’ll eat my flight goggles.”

---  

“Oooh! That little sister of mine! How many times do I have to tell her not to play with my fabrics without asking?” A pearl white unicorn mare huffed angrily as she telekinetically sorted through the mess of fabric. This simply could not be happening right now! This was the worst possible time, the worst. Possible. Thing!

If she couldn’t find the right fabric for this concept ensemble, she’d have to place an order for it, which ran the risk of being late, given the nature of the Equestrian Postal Service ever since Ditzy Doo left.

Times like this served as a harsh reminder that, while Ditzy was given to accidents here and there, she was a lot more intelligent than most ponies gave her credit for.

Back to the topic at hoof, since the Postal Service was, for lack of better term, shoddy at best, the likelihood of getting the fabric on time was suspect at best. And that, why that was unacceptable!

Perhaps we should examine her reasoning a bit. This mare was known throughout the elite circles of Canterlot as the brilliant fashion designer who ran the Carousel Boutique in rustic Ponyville. To the rest of Equestria, she was the Bearer of the Element of Generosity, one of six mares who had saved the peaceful nation from certain destruction thrice within the span of a couple of years.

But to the inhabitants of Ponyville, to her friends, she was just Rarity, the high-maintenance, prissy, frou-frou pony who hated to get her hooves dirty. At the same time, she was Rarity, the generous, hard-working, kind mare who loved to do everything she could to make everypony around her look and feel their very best.

The main reason for her current state of distress was the distinct lack of fabric of a specific shade of green for her dear friend Fluttershy’s dress. Rarity generally refused to make an outfit of the same style twice, in fear that it would grow tacky, but even she had to admit that paying homage to the timid pegasus’s love for nature and animals fit too perfectly to change. Oh, she could definitely change a few things in the overall design, but the subtle elements like colors blending together simply had to stay.

“Um, Rarity?” The aptly named Fluttershy spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. Had it not been for her years of straining to hear the butterscotch yellow mare’s voice, Rarity wouldn’t have heard a thing. “If it’s too much trouble, I could always come back another day to do this. I can just go home and take care of Angel Bunny and the rest of my animal friends… if that’s ok with you, that is.”

The designer shook her head without looking up from her search. “Oh, heavens no, darling! This is no trouble at all!” She waved her off airily. “I’m just having a bit of trouble finding the right shade of green for you, dear.”

“Oh, alright. But, I really don’t want to be a bother or anything, so –“

“Nonsense, dear! You are a dear friend, and I will not have you looking anything less than utterly fabulous when we go to the Grand Galloping Gala this year!”

“I know and I really appreciate that, but, really, you don’t have to go to all this trouble so far in advance for me…”

This time, Rarity turned to her friend and shot her a look that made it perfectly clear to the timid animal caretaker that she wasn’t going to be allowed to put this off any longer. Although Fluttershy really didn’t want to bother her friend, she had to admit that it was a good idea for Rarity to discuss dress designs in advance, so to avoid a similar mishap as the last Gala they’d attended.

Fluttershy lowered her head and rubbed her fetlock nervously; she hoped those poor animals in the Royal Gardens had forgiven her for her outburst. She really had been such a loudmouth! Well, by her standards.

The sound of tinkling bells from the entrance drew the attention of both mares. “Just a minute!” Rarity called out in a singing manner before turning back to her friend. “I’ll be just a moment, dear, don’t go anywhere now!”

“Oh, ok,” Fluttershy muttered, prodding a hoof into the floor in nervousness of more ponies coming into the boutique. “If you say so.”

The pearl white unicorn stifled a giggle at her friend’s expense as she made for the front door. Really, that timid pegasus needed to stop worrying so much about pleasing others and not coming off as rude! Fluttershy was the most sincere, polite pony in Ponyville, even if Rarity counted herself.

Admittedly, Rarity was a tad vain, but she wasn’t above giving credit where it was due.

She adopted what Applejack referred to as her “fancy walk”, snout high in the air, eyes closed serenely and stride confident as she stepped into the foyer. “Welcome to Carousel Boutique,” she began her well-practiced greeting, cracking her eyelids slightly to get a view of her guest. It was a trick she used to come up with ideas prior to even speaking with the customer. She happily noticed her dear friends, Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash, along with the Cutie Mark Crusaders and somepony she’d never seen before.  With great effort, she refrained from grinning outright at the thought that her friends had brought a potential customer in and continued on unabated, fully opening her eyes to better survey the specimen before her. “Where everything is chic, unique and magnifique! My name is Rarity, how might I –“

Ponyville’s resident fashion expert stopped in mid sentence, eyes wide in shock as she took in the sight before her!

Horror of horrors! What in the name of the Royal Sisters’ heavenly bodies was that? It was disgusting! Revolting! Vile! It was… It was…

The Worst .

Possible.

Thing!

---

“Is she going to be ok?” Harry asked as he warily surveyed the gaping unicorn mare before him. He had to admit, she certainly looked like she took the utmost care to look absolutely perfect; not a hair of her alabaster coat or deep purple mane and tail were out of place.

Rainbow Dash scoffed and waved off his worries. “She’s fine, just going through one of her overdramatic meltdowns. I give her about five seconds before she joins the rest of us in the land of the living again.”

“Oh, honestly, you two!” Twilight chastised them before turning to her stunned friend in concern. “Rarity, stay calm, take deep breaths. I know this is a bit of a shock, but I need you to –“

“WHAT IN THE NAME OF CELESTIA’S SHINING SUN IS THAT?” Rarity screamed, pointing a hoof directly at Harry.

Pony and human winced and hurriedly clasped hoof and hand over ears to block out the sheer volume of the mare’s voice.

“Geez, Rares,” Rainbow grumbled, rubbing her ears with a hoof. “Calm down!”

“Calm down? Calm down?” the fashion pony screeched in horror. “How can I calm down when you bring this – this – this –“

“Human?” Harry offered helpfully, already resigned to the fact that he’d just met the first pony who wouldn’t accept him.

“Crime against fashion!” That reply stopped any coherent thought running through Harry’s ‘fuzzy topped’ head in its tracks, instead replaced with the prevailing question ‘Bwa?’ He turned to his equine friends for an explanation and was met with a rather humorous sight.

Two grown mares and three tiny fillies facehoofing and shaking their heads in unison, each of them grumbling things like “Should’ve known”. “Of course”, and, in the case of Sweetie Belle, “How am I related to her?”

Naturally, Harry knew exactly how to respond. “Uh… What?” Eloquent as always, Harry.

“Your clothes, darling! They’re absolutely horrid!” She cried, before turning to Twilight. “Oh, Twilight, how could you let him walk around town with these rags on?”

“Hang on,” Harry stepped in, eager to defend his de facto landlord. “It’s not her fault! This is all I have with me!”

Unfortunately, his attempt to shift the blame only served to deepen Rarity’s horror. “Why in Equestria would you wear clothes like that, darling? Why those robes look like they’re made of such low grade material!”

The boy sputtered indignantly at the slight on his clothes, completely missing the snickers from the cyan pegasus at his side. “These are school uniform robes! And… well, fine, they are a bit hot in the spring and summer but it’s tradition!”

“They force you to wear those?” Almost instantaneously, her expression switched from utterly scandalized to sympathetic as she seemed to teleport to his side and take his hand in her hoof. “Oh, you poor darling! How awful! Well, don’t you worry, dear! I have just the thing for you, even if you are a bit different from my usual clientele.”

As her ever-exuberant friend dragged Harry into the main room, with the Cutie Mark Crusaders giggling at his protests and trailing behind, Twilight fought the urge to shake her head and massage her temples. Sometimes, her friends could just be too crazy for words.

Of course, Rainbow Dash had never been one to keep her mouth shut, especially when she knew she had the perfect chance to needle her friends. “I totally called that, by the way.”

“Oh, shut up.” The librarian shot back testily, trotting along after her friends.

---

“Wait a moment, miss! I appreciate the offer, but I don’t think you have anything that’ll fit me!” Harry protested futilely.

True to form, Rarity ignored his complaints and dragged him forward towards another mare, this one a butter yellow coated pegasus with a pink mane and light blue eyes. The moment she locked eyes with Harry, she flinched and shyly lowered her head to the floor, as if she were trying to make herself invisible.

Before he could try to placate the timid mare, Rarity released his arm and spoke up. “Nonsense, darling! True, you are unique, but, as I said earlier, everything I make here is unique in its own way! All I need from you are your measurements, perhaps a bit of help from our mutual friend, Twilight, to find a spell to make a mannequin of your shape and - oh!” She stopped abruptly as a realization came to her. “I haven’t even asked you for your name! How rude of me!”

“It’s really nothing, miss,” he assured her. “I’m Harry Potter.”

“The pleasure is all mine, darling, and please,” she said with a flutter of her eyelashes. “Call me Rarity.”

“Oh, well, uh… Thank you, Rarity, but, really, I don’t want to trouble you –“

“Harry, dear,” he stopped at the sudden change in tone. Harry noticed that the mare’s sapphire eyes had taken on a rather determined edge, boring deep into his own.  Ponyville’s fashion designer took a step forward, giving him a stern glare as she poked a hoof into his chest. “I must insist that you accept my offer.”

The human teen gulped and nodded quickly. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Excellent!” Rarity beamed at him, all signs of the near predatory look vanishing from her face in an instant. “Now, stand right there next to Fluttershy, dear. I’ll find the measuring tape and be back in just a moment! Oh, darling, don’t be rude!” She cut off, turning to the mare to his right. “Say hello for goodness sake!”

As Rarity turned away to search her worktable, a high-pitched “Eep” from the pegasus drew Harry’s attention, as the shy mare seemed to sink even lower, as if hoping the ground would swallow her up. Harry could hear hoofsteps approaching, likely Twilight, but resolved to try and continue the trend of introducing himself.

After all, Twilight’s plan seemed to involve him stepping out of his comfort zone and being social, so he should at least put some effort in.

“Hello,” he greeted softly, wincing as the mare squeaked in fear again. He pressed on, hoping that a simple exchange of names would ease the tension. “I’m Harry, what’s your name?”

Wow. Way to be smooth, you charmer, you, he inwardly chastised himself.

The yellow-coated pegasus looked up shyly for just a second, before quickly averting her gaze downwards again. “I’m… uh… I’m… Fluttershy…” she mumbled.

Harry blinked in confusion, turning his head so he could hear. “What was that?”

“I-I… I’m… Fluttershy.”

“A little louder?” He asked, trying to coax her to speak up.

To his dismay, this served only to frighten her more. Her eyes began tearing up, the only sound coming from her mouth being a very high-pitched whimper, a sound Harry would’ve expected more from a kicked puppy than a full grown mare.

Fortunately, this was nothing new to Twilight, who saw this coming and decided to go right ahead and nip this in the bud. While, she had to admit, she was pleased that Harry had taken initiative this time Fluttershy was a special case. Introducing her to new friends took a considerable amount of finesse to get around the issue of the animal caretaker’s shyness.

The town librarian stepped close to her friend, placing a comforting hoof on the quivering mare’s shoulders. “Fluttershy, this is Harry,” she said gently. “He’s my friend and, needless to say, he’s new to Ponyville. He’s very nice and friendly.”

“And really fun to tease, too!” Rainbow threw in helpfully as she flew over and landed beside her fellow pegasus. With a mischievous smirk, she leaned down as if to whisper in Fluttershy’s ear and stage whispered. “His face turns the most awesome shade of red if you push the right buttons!”

Between that little revelation and the blushing and sputtering boy trying to protest her friend’s statement, Fluttershy couldn’t help but let out what could only be described as the most adorable set of giggles Harry had ever seen or heard as her prismatic-maned friend was proven right.

His cheeks were almost as red as Big Mac’s coat!

“Found it!” Rarity sang, drawing all attention to her once again. Harry couldn’t help but narrow his eyes in suspicion at the innocently grinning mare; he might be new, but he was quite sure that she had deliberately prolonged her search to force him to talk.

The fashion designer met his gaze, smiled winningly and winked, all but confirming his suspicion.

Rarity stepped forward, holding the measuring tape in her telekinetic field and gave him a look that sent a cold shiver down his spine. Somehow, he knew this wasn’t going to be pleasant. “Now, just hold still, darling! This won’t take but a minute!”

---  

Four. Freaking. Hours.

Harry stumbled out of Carousel Boutique, trying his best to ignore the giggles that followed his admittedly over exaggerated reaction to the fitting. But still, four full hours of standing in place while being measured, stuck with pins, and having Rarity mutter about possible designs, color schemes and the like, while chastising him for moving even the slightest, lest he throw off her measurements and force her to start all over again.

She had been way to excited to have a new model for her fashions. And, really, was it necessary to discuss so many different types of apparel? Seasonal apparel, formal attire, casual dress, even clothes for ‘roughhousing’ – apparently, she felt that he’d need them since he’d already befriended a certain diversely colored pegasus.

“Never again!” He vowed to the giggling mares as they trotted after him, guiding him back toward the library to rest off what had been a very hectic day. “I will never willingly subject myself to that ever again!”

Twilight rolled her eyes, but was unable to hide a grin from Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. “Don’t you think you’re being a bit melodramatic? It wasn’t that bad!”

“She stuck me with a needle three times!”

“I-I’m sure she didn’t mean to,” Fluttershy interjected softly. After Rarity had managed to get the measurements she needed from Harry, the unicorn mare quickly jotted them down in her notes and shooed them away so that she could take care of a couple of ‘errands’ with the Crusaders’ help.

Of course, Fluttershy had been standing next to Rarity when Pinkie Pie barged in and asked them to stall Harry for as long as they could while she put the finishing touches on his party, and then asked that Rarity make her way over to be part of the welcoming committee.

She’d asked Fluttershy as well, but relented when her shy friend had declined on grounds that she didn’t want to be too loud and risk scaring Ponyville’s newest inhabitant. Pinkie had let her off the hook, but only after she Pinkie Promised (capitals required) to be present at the party and to have, in the party pony’s words: “The most super spectacular awesome fun time ever!”

Naturally, when Pinkie was involved, “ever” meant until the next party she threw. Fluttershy had been friends with her long enough to understand the nuances of Pinkie’s version of Equine.

“I know,” Harry grumped, bringing her back to the conversation. “That doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt like hell though!”

His complaint earned him a light jab to the shoulder courtesy of Rainbow Dash. “Aww, does the widdle foal not like mean ol’ Wawity’s needles?” she teased in baby talk.

“That’s funny,” Twilight stepped in, sending a light glare at her athletic friend. “I seem to recall somepony whining like a little filly the last time she was being fitted for a dress.”

Rainbow’s look could’ve melted steel. “Not. Cool. Egghead.” She ground out, jabbing a hoof with each word before dropping to the ground beside her human friend, grumbling about ruined coolness as she trotted.

A snicker from her left redirected her ire to the young human, who tried his best to look innocent. No dice.

Ponyville’s Weather Team captain made a mental note that the scruffy haired human had just earned himself round two; she’d get him now, but Fluttershy had mentioned the party location while Harry had been distracted by Rarity.

He’d get his later.

Of course, that would only happen if he wasn’t traumatized by a certain pink pony who made the laws of physics and reality seem like guidelines. Rainbow stifled a grin at the thought; if he thought Rarity was a hoof full, wait until Pinkie got going!

“Hey! Let’s get this train moving!” She grinned, zipping behind the human and pushing him along. “We’ve got stuff to do and ponies to see!”

“ACK! Stop pushing! I can walk on my own, dammit!” Naturally, the mare just laughed and nudged him along, ignoring his protests and those of her fellow ponies. There was a show to see and by Celestia’s immaculate wings she was going to have a front row seat!

---

“Really, was that necessary?” Harry grumbled as they approached Twilight’s library. Rainbow’s response went unheard as he finally got a good look of the outside; a tree. The library was inside a bloody tree!

What? How even? What?

Shaking his head, Harry just decided to go along with it. Between all the strange things that he’d seen in the wizarding world and the whirlwind of a first day he just had, Harry was willing to accept what he would now call a “treebrary” as completely normal.

Of course, Twilight was much more observant than he gave her credit for, and had noticed the brief look of shock that had crossed his face. “Impressive, isn’t it? I was a bit shocked when I first moved here, so I looked into the history of Ponyville Library. Rumor has it that the seed was planted by Starswirl the Bearded, one of the most powerful unicorns in Equestrian history!” She recited, seeming quite happy to display her knowledge to her friends.

Harry somehow got the mental image of a unicorn with a beard nearly as long as his headmaster’s, forcing him to do his absolute best to fight back his laughter. Do not laugh at historical figures! He mentally scolded himself. Especially when the personal student of a powerful, near goddess princess gets star-struck just talking about him!

He ended up settling on a nod and simply saying, “That sounds very interesting.” The grin he received was nearly blinding. Yeah, she was definitely just like Hermione in pony form, overjoyed that someone genuinely found her explanation for what most would call miscellaneous facts interesting.

With that being said, Harry resolved never to let them meet, for the sake of his sanity.

“Oh, don’t get her started!” Rainbow groaned in mock despair. “Please don’t make everypony suffer through the most horrible form of torture ever invented!”

“What’s that?” He asked, just before Twilight could fire off a retort.

“One of egghead’s lectures, of course!” That earned her a hoof to the shoulder, courtesy of the aforementioned egghead. “Geez, didn’t realize you brainy types were so violent these days! Looks like we’ve gotta tread lightly, scruffy!”

Harry shook his head and held his hands up in surrender. “Leave me out of this.”

“Heh, wimp.”

Twilight grumbled something unintelligible, but Harry had the distinct impression that it was less than flattering, if the irritated expression on her muzzle was anything to go by. He watched as the mare took a deep, calming breath and resumed her typical calm, smiling air; she obviously had a great deal of practice and patience to handle Rainbow Dash’s constant need to make some sort of remark.

Glancing to the mare on her opposite side, Harry found that Fluttershy was looking a bit unsettled by her friend’s obvious irritation, but seemed afraid to speak up in an attempt to diffuse the situation.

It was a feeling he could sympathize with, having sat through several arguments between Hermione and Ron.

As they neared Ponyville Library, Harry noticed that the windows were darkened, as if Spike had decided to close up for the day. While he couldn’t tell time without a watch, Harry was almost certain that it was still late afternoon, early evening. Did libraries in Equestria close up earlier than those on Earth?

Turning to fix Twilight with a questioning look, receiving only a coy smile and a gesture with her hoof, inviting him to go first into the library.

British cultural norms demanded that he open the door and let the mares go first, but he shrugged and obeyed, chalking it up to another bit of difference between two cultures.

Harry pulled the door open and stepped in, finding the interior of the library covered in complete darkness. What in the world? “Uh, Twilight?” He began. “Where’s the light switch?”

Her coy smile widened into a full grin, one mirrored by Rainbow Dash and, to a much lesser degree, Fluttershy. “On your right.”

“Oh, right, thanks,” he turned and felt around in the darkness with his hands until he felt the familiar plastic covering of an outlet covering. He brushed his fingers across the surface and flipped the switch up. Immediately, his ears were assaulted by a many voices crying out at once.

“SURPRISE!”

Harry jumped backwards and fumbled for his wand instinctually as his brain went into full panic mode. Grasping the handle firmly, he pulled it from within his cloak and looked up to find his ambushers.

Only to come face to muzzle with the same pony from this morning.

“Hi!” she chirped happily, bouncing excitedly in place. “Were you surprised? Were you? Were you? I hope so! I love surprise parties! They’re super fun! That’s why I throw everypony new to Ponyville a big party on their first day in town! And I know you’re new because I’ve never seen you before, and I know everypony in Ponyville! But, then again, you’re not a pony so you’re not ‘everypony’, so I guess I still know everypony, but I don’t know everyone!”

The teenage wizard gaped in shock, stuttering and stammering as he tried to keep up with her rather enthusiastic greeting. “Wha – Who – Huh?”

Rather than explain or slow down, the pink-coated mare giggled and continued. “You’re really funny! I like you! My name’s Pinkie Pie! Wanna be friends?”

Still reeling from Pinkie’s introduction and sudden appearance mere inches from his face, Harry’s stammering continued, forcing Twilight to step in with a roll of her eyes and shake of her head. “Don’t worry, she does this all the time,” she said to the stunned wizard. “You’ll get used to it eventually.”

“Yes, but, I don’t even –“

“Don’t worry, Harry! We’re all here to have fun! Because having fun is so much fun that we just love doing it all for fun!” Seriously, what in the world was she on about?

Whatever it was seemed to be the source of great amusement for most of the assembled crowd, including several familiar faces; Vinyl Scratch was standing behind a turntable, bobbing her head to the pulsating beats and electronic music, Octavia wasn’t too far away, though she seemed a bit put out by the choice in music. Derpy and Doctor were over by the snack table, munching on a plate of muffins and having what seemed to be a friendly debate over which ones were better.

But at the forefront, laughing at the spastic pink pony, were Rarity and Applejack.

“Don’t hurt yerself tryin’ ta figure her out, Sugercube,” Applejack advised. “No pony but Pinkie gets Pinkie. And even that’s no guarantee half the time!”

“Right-a-roonie!” Pinkie sang happily, throwing a hoof around the stunned human and dragging him forward. “C’mon, Harry! You’re gonna love it! I’ve got everything here! Games, snacks, plenty of drink! Ooh! Ooh! I even got some of the Apple family’s famous cider!”

“Hey! Slow down!” The boy protested as he finally found his voice. “How do you even know my name?”

If Pinkie heard his question, she ignored it entirely as she laughed and continued to pull him along, introducing him to ponies in her rapid-fire manner, giving him very little time to actually connect names with faces or even properly introduce himself.

Not that they seemed bothered by that. Actually, they seemed to take Pinkie’s actions with a grain of salt, grinning, waving and chuckling as she zipped around with the her two-legged victim in tow and made sure he met everypony she’d invited to his party. Suddenly, she stopped, causing Harry to stumble as his feet failed to catch up to the excitable mare.

“Ooh!” She gasped, turning to him with a face-splitting grin. “Derpy brought muffins! C’mon! We gotta get some! She makes the best muffins in town! Just don’t tell the Cakes I said that!”

---

Harry learned several things that day.

He learned that Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash both loved pranks, especially at parties. He learned that the aforementioned party pony wasn’t above tricking him into drinking hot sauce when he needed to cool off from eating spicy food. He learned that Spike had an amazingly sharp wit and found that he enjoyed spending time with the young drake. He even learned how to do the Pony Pokey with the help of his new friends, and that when Twilight Sparkle danced a safe distance of at least five feet was required.

But the most important lessons he learned that night were to never try to separate Derpy from her muffins or the Doctor from his butter. That was most certainly not a chase he ever wanted to experience again, and he’d never let Pinkie talk him into a repeat performance, no matter how much she promised it would be fun!

The teenage wizard smiled as he disrobed, looking on at the slumbering forms of Twilight and Spike, both equally worn out by the day’s events and the wild celebration housed in their library. While the two were both quite meticulous about keeping the place tidy (Spike insisted that he was only that way because he didn’t want to do more work, but Harry had seen his claws twitching whenever somepony neared a book with a glass of cider or punch), they had managed to keep their demands for cleanliness to a respectable minimum.

While Harry was by no means a ‘party person’, he felt that it had been a successful venture; he’d met the townsponies, avoided mass panic and even managed to make a few friends. For him, that was a damn good day. It was a turn in fortunes for the boy who could pass as fate’s favorite punching bag.

Harry closed his eyes and let himself drift off to sleep, one of the few times he did so with a positive frame of mind. One of even fewer times in which he actually looked forward to what was to come tomorrow.

To Stand Before Royalty

“Kill him!”

Harry knew that voice, that cold, haunting voice that had shouted those words. He recognized where he was.

Past the Cerberus, down the trapdoor, deep beneath Hogwarts, through the traps and trials carefully placed by the Hogwarts staff, through the enchanted fire and into the room with the Mirror of Erised.

Face to face with the man who wanted him dead. Face to face with the man who first tried to help revive the most hated Dark Lord in recent memory.

Face to face with Quirinus Quirrell, the man with two faces, the man who was servant and host to the parasitic wraith of Lord Voldemort.

The same Dark Lord who had killed his parents, the same shade of a man who had tempted him with power, was after the Philosopher’s Stone. He was chasing immortality.

Harry struggled, fighting for air as he felt the man’s fingers tightening around his neck, cutting off his windpipe and reducing his vision to a hazy blur. Was this it? Was this how he’d die?

Was his life to end at eleven-years-old?

He could feel Quirrell’s free hand pinning down his shoulder, preventing him from even trying to lash out with an arm in desperation. This was no joke! Quirrell actually wanted him dead!

Suddenly, the grip on Harry’s neck was released, Quirrell began shrieking in pain, clutching his hand! Angry burns and blisters decorated the once clean skin, tears streamed down his face as unimaginable pain coursed through his body!

“What is this magic?” He screeched, eyes wide in horror as his skin began to char and peel back.

“Fool!” Voldemort yelled furiously, ignoring his host’s pain and anguish. “Get the stone! Kill him!”

Obediently, Quirrell reached forward again, aiming to strangle Harry and finish him once and for all! Harry thought quickly; somehow, Quirrell had been hurt by touching his skin! All he had to do was make sure Quirrell couldn’t get to his neck!

A burst of pain from his forehead caused his eyes to cross! Not now! Why now, of all times?

As Quirrell lunged, Harry used every bit of training that Wood had given him, relying on those “Seeker reflexes” to grasp the man’s wrist in one hand while placing the other on his face!

Voldemort’s host shrieked louder than before! His skin began to hiss, the smell of burning skin assaulted Harry’s nostrils as steam began to waft through the air!

With a desperate effort, Quirrell separated himself from the boy, holding his hands in front of him in despair! “Master, I cannot hold him!” He wailed. “My hands! My hands!”

The pain in Harry’s forehead grew, as if a hot lance was being pressed down into the center of his forehead! His vision blurred, Quirrell’s shrieks and Voldemort’s ranting seemed to come from far away! But he could still see them! They were still moving towards him! Trying one last-ditch effort to finish him off!

“Enough!” A stern, cultured voice ordered. From the shadows of the room, a burst of navy blue shot into Quirrell’s chest! The man began to glow, light poured from every part of his body; suddenly, he began to dissolve into nothing!

How in the world?

Harry turned his attention to the direction from which the shot had come, barely making out a dark blue figure moving towards him, hearing the clip clop of hooves on the cobblestone floor.

The figure approached him, stopping to stand over him and look down upon him. “A life so troubled and wrought with peril,” A feminine voice lamented. Whoever she was, she sounded concerned for him, almost as if she pitied him. “We shall watch thee as the coming days change thy life for the better, Harry Potter. For now, trust in thy friends and allow them to heal thy wounds, as we allowed them into our own heart. We shall soon meet face to face, Harry… Harry…”

“Harry! Wake up, Harry! Wake up!”

---

“Harry, wake up!”

The teen’s eyes snapped open, two blurry shapes filled his vision; one seemed a swirl of purple and green, the other purple with a bit of magenta.

Spike and Twilight? Why were they standing over him?

Harry groaned sleepily, feeling around blindly for his glasses, which he found lowered down onto his face by Twilight’s telekinetic field. Blinking rapidly to adjust to the sudden clarity of vision and morning sunlight, Harry faced the pair with no shortage of confusion. Why in the world were they looking at him like he was bleeding out?

Spike, ever the tactful one, spoke up first. “You okay?”

“I’m… fine,” Harry said slowly, his mind still not making the connection between their concern for him and, well, whatever had occurred before he’d rejoined the land of the living.

“You were screaming in your sleep,” Twilight retorted with a rather stern expression, similar to one an older sibling would give their younger one when they suspected they were being lied to. “And thrashing violently. We’ve been trying to wake you up for the last ten minutes!”

That was definitely not good! He thought quickly, trying to come up with some excuse, anything that might get him out of telling her that he was reliving the memory of nearly getting strangled to death!

“Just a nightmare.” Yeah, he had nothing. But, technically, that wasn’t entirely a lie.

It was more of an omission of the facts than anything. So, he wasn’t really guilty of anything.

The look on both purple muzzles told him that neither mare nor drake believed a word of that particular excuse. One problem with letting people get to know you, they tend to figure out your little ticks rather quickly.

A unified stern glare from the purple duo nearly made him shrink back. “A very bad one?” He offered weakly, wincing mentally as those glares didn’t abate in the least bit.

Apparently, Twilight and Spike weren’t going to let him off as easily as they had at breakfast yesterday morning, as was evident by the young drake crossing his arms and the sound of Twilight’s hoof pawing the ground in irritation.

“Fine,” he grumbled, settling on a version he was comfortable with. “I was having a dream about one of the most feared dark wizards in my world trying to kill me.”

The glares softened almost immediately, replaced by sympathetic looks from both Equestrians. Twilight in particular felt a bit guilty, she hadn’t even given thought that Harry’s world might have its own version of the Nightmare Moon story, which still haunted foal’s dreams to this day.

She absentmindedly wondered just how similar this tale could be to the story of Princess Luna’s fall from grace, or if the wizard in question could be redeemed as the Princess of the Night had.

Twilight gently placed a hoof on his shoulder in comfort. “I’m sorry,” she whispered soothingly. “I just don’t want you to feel like you have to hide these things, Harry. I’m your friend, I want to help.”

The teen felt a bit guilty at the utter sincerity of her concerned expression, one that was closely mirrored by the young drake standing at the foot of his mattress. “Sorry, it’s not that big a deal,” he lied, feeling all the guiltier with each word. “It was just a dream, not like it can hurt me, right?”

Not like Quirrell could strangle him from beyond the grave, anyway.

The librarian offered him a supportive grin, but a bit of worry was still present in her mind. The screaming, the thrashing around as if trying to ward off an attacker, it all seemed a bit too real for her taste. She couldn’t necessarily say whether or not this wizard could inspire such fear, such abject terror.

Once again, she was getting the feeling that there was more to the story than Harry was telling, but just how much? Was he downplaying the terror? Or was he trying to hide his own fear in hopes that he not appear weak in her eyes?

He didn’t seem like a boy who really cared too much about his image; the state of his clothes, though the design was foreign to her, suggested that he didn’t give much thought to others’ opinions of him.

Either way, his screams seemed too real…

The mare shook herself from those thoughts. If Harry didn’t want to share right now, she wouldn’t push him. Twilight wanted to help, but she understood the value of waiting for somepony – grr, someone, in his case – to feel comfortable.

As much as she’d like to think they’d made progress with the young human, it seemed that he wasn’t quite ready. Perhaps she was making a miscalculation? Was she thinking too much along the lines of a traditional friendship between ponies? Did it take humans longer to develop that sort of trust?

Twilight’s conflicting feelings on the matter were giving her one hay of a headache! She wanted to learn as much as she could about human culture, physiology and the like, but Harry was her friend, not an experiment! And being a friend meant respecting boundaries!

Note to self: send Princess Celestia a friendship report about how respecting boundaries is imperative to maintaining a good relationship, but equally aggravating when said friend is trying to hide something that bothers them. Maybe she’d have some advice.

Twilight stepped back, giving Harry room to sit up without having to avoid bumping heads as he stretched his arms and back, working out the stiffness and wincing as he felt his left elbow pop; ruddy thing had been giving him trouble ever since that ponce had removed his bones in second year. Oh well.

With a mental shrug, Harry paused a moment as another thought hit him: when was the last time he’d bathed or showered? Lifting an arm and giving a cautious sniff, he blanched.

Too long.

“Is there a washroom I could use?” He asked, still a bit hesitant. Guest or not, he’d always hated to impose on others. “I need a shower in the worst possible way.”

Spike snorted good-naturedly. “Yeah, my nose was considering lodging a complaint.”

“Should I be worried that your body parts have become self-aware?”

“Downstairs and to the left, fuzzy top!” The drake grumbled, having lost this round.

The resident human smirked and lifted himself out of bed, grabbing his clothes from where he’d hung them on his bedpost and throwing them over his shoulder. “That’s Dash’s name for me, scale breath,” he teased. “Get your own material.”

As the human teen continued on his way, Spike and Twilight waited quietly for the sound of the bathroom door closing and the water turning on before turning to one another with matching looks of concern.

“So, I’m not the only one who thinks he’s telling half the story, right?” Spike asked, crossing his arms and leaning against the leg of the bed.

Twilight shook her head. “Not at all. Something’s up with him, and we’re gonna find out, one way or the other.”

“Good! ‘Cause, as cool as it is hanging out with him, every time he does that bit where he suddenly trails off and pretends it’s nothing feels like that time you went all loopy because you thought you were gonna be –“ He was cut short when a purple hoof covered his mouth.

“Don’t. Say. That. Word.” Twilight ground out, grimacing at the memory of that particular incident. Definitely not one of her crowning achievements.

“Fine, but you get my point! I feel like I should either bug him until he spills or write a letter to Princess Celestia and get her to – GACK!” Almost on cue, Spike belched forth a jet of green flames, which swirled and materialized into a scroll, bound in a red ribbon and the Seal of the Royal Sisters: the moon and sun, orbiting one another in harmony.

The poor drake deftly caught the scroll in his claw as he gasped for breath. “I… really… need to talk to her… about timing!” He declared between pants as he unfastened the ribbon and opened the scroll. “Let’s see. ‘My dear faithful student, Twilight Sparkle’, yadda yadda, all the usual stuff. And – Oh! Uh, Twilight, you’re gonna wanna see this.”

Seizing the scroll in her telekinetic grip, Twilight’s eyes scanned the page, wondering what the Princess had said to quiet Spike’s typically flippant version of her teacher’s greeting.

One particular sentence nearly made her heart stop; panicking, she looked over at the clock on the wall for the time, hoping that it wasn’t too late! Three hours! That was hardly any time at all!

Twilight downstairs and took a left, panting heavily with stress as she raced through the library. She didn’t have much time! Oh, why couldn’t the Princess have sent this letter last night, so she could’ve had everything ready?

---  

Harry knew he was no brain surgeon, but he liked to think that he was at least intelligent enough to figure out how to use shampoo and soap.

To be fair, there had to be some comedic value behind a teenager staring blankly at the two bottles resting on the table next to the tub, as if winning a staring competition with them would force them to reveal their secrets.

Hey, for all he knew, they might. He came into this world, literally falling arse over teakettle, by opening a door that hadn’t existed when he first walked down the corridor; so, who was he to assume otherwise?

Well, short of doing his best Severus Snape impersonation and demanding that an inanimate object reveal its secrets, he wasn’t going to figure it out without asking Twilight what the difference between the two was.

He really had no idea what to make of one shampoo being for manes and the other being for coats; well, he got the gist of it, but he had no idea what in the nine levels of hay that meant with respect to his hygienic needs.

Though this might give Spike way too much ammunition to tease him with, Harry would rather ask and look silly than… well, not ask and still look silly.

Either way, he’d look silly, so, really, there wasn’t much for him to lose. With a shrug, he turned towards the door, leaving his cloak hanging on the peg on the wall and opened the door, stepping out into the hallway.

Just in time to be bowled over by his panicking librarian friend.

“Owwww…” Harry groaned, fixing Twilight with a rather annoyed look. “Isn’t this Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo’s gig?”

Twilight pushed herself off of him, her horn flashing as she picked him up in her telekinesis and lifted him into a standing position. “Sorry, but we don’t have time to dawdle! The Princesses just sent a letter saying they want to meet you today!”

“Wait – what?! Today? But –“

“I know, last minute notice, but we don’t have much of a choice. We’ve got to get you ready in time!”

“Alright, fine, jut let me wash up and I’ll – I don’t know use a cleaning charm on my clothes, or something.”

The look he received from the purple-coated mare spoke volumes of her opinion on that idea. “You aren’t meeting the Princesses in those clothes. I might not be Rarity, but a cleaning charm on clothes you’ve worn for the past three days isn’t going to cut it.”

“Fair enough,” he admitted. “But, still, I’ve nothing else to wear, so I don’t have too many options on that front.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” she said, allowing herself a satisfied smile. “If I know Rarity, she’s been up most of the night with one of her bouts of inspiration, most likely involving the prospect of making clothes for an entirely new species!”

“… You make it sound like I’m on display.”

“Oh, you know what I mean! She’s probably got at least one outfit ready! So you’ll just have to wear that one. Now, get ready and let’s go!”

“Fine, fine!” Harry said, shaking his head in resignation. “Let me just get my cloak and –“

“Leave the cloak!” She ordered. “We’re going now, so you might want to take a deep breath.”

“Why would I need to do that?” He asked naively, only realizing that something was amiss when he felt himself once again wrapped in the familiar grip of her magic. His eyes widened as his brain connected the dots between the feeling and her wording, coming to a rather uncomfortable conclusion. “Wait a minute, Twi –“

POP!

Pony and human vanished in a flash of magenta light.

---

One minute, Harry was trying to wrap his mind around whether or not Twilight looked at him like a little kid, the next, his mind felt like it had been put through a blender on high.

While Twilight’s arrival in front of the Carousel Boutique was quite graceful, Harry staggered, having to lean on his quadruped friend as his mind and body struggled to right themselves, the sensation of suddenly being yanked from one place to the other and his brain struggling to make sense of the immediate change of scenery.

He tried to speak, but all that came out was a rather odd sound that could only be described as “Bugwaaaaaah?!”

“Sorry! Sorry!” Twilight stammered, mentally scolding herself for forgetting that he wasn’t used to teleportation. “Teleportation tends to be rather disorienting for first-timers, I should have warned you.”

“’m fine,” he murmured groggily. “Just surprised.” Harry blinked rapidly, trying to clear his blurred vision and rid himself of the sudden dizzy spell. “Ugh, wonderful to know that I handle your magical transport as well as the ones from my world.”

“Oh?” The unicorn couldn’t help but perk up slightly at the admission. She knew that she shouldn’t be so relieved, but it did take a bit of a load off her mind, if only because it suggested that it wasn’t completely her fault. Also, more information on his world was more than welcome.

Come to think of it, she really needed to sit down and discuss his world’s culture. Today was out, due to obvious reasons, but it was on her to do list going forward.

“Yeah, we have something called a portkey. It’s basically a random item with a teleportation spell on it,” he began as the mental fog cleared. “If you touch it, it takes you to a predetermined place. If I touch one, I end up in the right place, but sprawled out on my back and wondering what planet I’m on.”

Twilight raised a hoof to her muzzle in thought, pondering his apparent ineptitude with magical travel. “Hmm, it could be that you’re not used to sudden changes in environment, a lack of coordination, or a bit of both.”

Harry smiled ruefully and nodded; lack of coordination? Yeah, that was him in a nutshell. The only time that the words ‘Harry Potter’ and ‘graceful’ should be anywhere near one another in a sentence would be when he was in the air.

Come to think of it, how would he, a wizard on a broom, compare against Rainbow Dash? He’d love to think that he could at least give her a decent run, but somehow he had the slightest inkling that a human holding a piece of wood between its legs wouldn’t score points in a competition against a pegasus, a race of pony biologically designed for flight.

He’d have to figure out a way to test that some other time. Like when he wasn’t about to endure a second round of Rarity’s “tender mercies”.

Twilight knocked, all but dashing any of Harry’s hopes of delaying his fate any further, and waited patiently as the faint sound of hoofsteps approached the door.

“Who is it?” Rarity sang from within.

“It’s Harry and Twilight!” The town librarian replied. “We’ve got a bit of a problem.”

Harry couldn’t help but feel a small tingle of worry at her description, something told him that was definitely not the way to mention his distinct lack of proper attire to the fashion designer. “Well, it’s not so much a problem as it is a slight inconvenience, really.” He stammered as the alabaster unicorn unlocked the door.

“You’re about to meet the rulers of our nation and you’ve got nothing to wear but the same clothes you’ve worn for the past two days,” she deadpanned. “No offense, but they’re starting to smell.”

“Well, if you say so, I could just use a quick cleaning charm and take care of this right now! So there’s really no need to –“

“Stop right there, Harry Potter!” The boy winced as his fears were realized. He turned back towards the door and was met by a furious Rarity; the young fashion designer had obviously heard his comment, and did not seem amused. “Did I hear correctly? You really want to meet the Princesses of Equestria in those… those filthy clothes?” She all but shrieked. Harry opened his mouth to retort, but she beat him to the punch. “No! No! A thousand times no! I simply will not allow it! I will not stand by and let you miss your chance to make an absolutely perfect first impression on our dear rulers pass you by!”

“But –“

“No!”

“But I could just –“ He stopped immediately as Rarity’s glare took a cold edge.

“Darling,” Harry winced, that was almost exactly the same tone she’d used to make him sit still and be fitted yesterday! “Get inside now, sit still and try on some decent clothes and I just might be willing to forget this little issue.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

---  

Fellow Hogwars students might call him weak for allowing himself to be pushed around, least of all by a fashion-designing pony of all things. Harry liked to think that allowing himself to be led around by the rather insistent mare was actually a well thought out idea.

After all, accepted by the townsfolk or not, he was still the alien here. In short, he was subject to their norms. For all he knew, refusing a pony’s generosity could be seen as an insult.

Based on the way Rarity reacted both times he tried to weasel his way out of her offers for “help”, Harry would bet that doing so was somewhat of a taboo, at least when Rarity was concerned.

Come to think of it, Twilight had reacted in a similar manner when he tried to refuse her offer to pull out a spare bed for him…

In any case, here he was, once again subjected to Rarity’s whims. No help would come from Twilight, who kept giving him stern looks every time he so much as looked as though he might consider making a break for it.

Even if he did, where would he hide? The library? Yeah, right, that would work so well.

He could possibly try Rainbow Dash or Applejack, they seemed like the type to sympathize with his aversion to dressing up. Though, Rainbow might actually take Rarity’s side, if only for a good laugh at his expense. AJ… well, the jury was out on what she would do.

Of course, Harry was only thinking in hypothetical terms; in reality, he might take two steps toward the door before one of the mares caught him in their telekinesis and floated him back into position, so there was really no point to even trying.

It was just nice to pretend that, in some alternative reality, he might have some semblance of the slightest, most miniscule, bit of hope of escaping this horror.

Oh? You think this is all a ridiculous exaggeration? Well, perhaps some context might help. Twilight’s frantic proclamation that the Princesses would be at Ponyville Library in a mere three hours? That was two and a half hours ago.

Granted, the fashion designer had first directed him to a washroom and, to his relief, seemed to have a bit of normal bar soap for him to use. He’d have to make a note to ask Twilight for some if he was going to be here for any extended period of time.

In any case, he didn’t mean to seem ungrateful, he really did appreciate her generosity, but his attention span was only so long, and he was rapidly approaching the point where he needed to do something either incredibly stupid, incredibly dangerous, or both.

Hmmm, maybe Pinkie was onto something when she claimed that stealing a muffin to incite a chase from Derpy was fun, if only because the wall-eyed mare somehow defied her physical handicap and gained flight skills that made put his own to shame. A dangerous venture? Most certainly, but it was undeniably entertaining for everyone – Derpy included, once she was finally reunited with her precious baked good.

Returning to the present, as far as Harry could tell with his limited knowledge of fashion, it seemed that Rarity was attempting to imitate wizard style clothing, but with a more modern flare.

Truth be told, the heavy cotton robes which made up the Hogwarts Dress Code, were outdated by a century or three, so Harry had to give her a point when she mentioned that he desperately needed an update.

Still, being shoved into a changing room and handed a neatly folded pile of clothing by the excitable mare and all but ordered to try them on was more than a bit unnecessary. At least, in his mind it was.

Harry shrugged and disrobed as the alabaster mistress of fashion commanded, setting his uniform aside in a relatively neat pile off to the side, leaving only his underpants and socks on, with his shoes in easy reach.

Rarity didn’t seem to have made him shoes, but that was hardly a surprise, she was a clothing designer and his feet were quite different from hooves. Hay, he was surprised that she’d been able to put this all together so quickly.

First of all, where to start? The material itself was soft to the touch, much more so than any clothing he’d ever worn. Rarity had managed to make what seemed to be something that Harry would’ve expected a mage straight out of a fantasy novel would wear.

There were no buttons or zippers on the pants or shirt. Both had a black base color with a single strip of red along the edge; apparently, Rarity had noticed that the main color of the Gryffindor badge on his robe and had paid homage to that. He’d have to make note of how much that little bit of a personal touch meant to him.

Both the shirt and pants seemed to be based on an Eastern Asian design, as far as he could tell. The pants were a bit loose around his legs, held together by a belt of braided fabric, and hung down around his ankles. As odd as they initially felt, Harry had to admit that they did allow for much better movement than those dress pants he was always wearing. The shirt was long sleeved and, as previously mentioned, had no buttons, which meant that it required something else to hold it closed. Well, unless he wanted to go open top and give all of Ponyville a nice view of his pale skinned chest.

To facilitate this, Rarity had taken a bit of golden fabric and made a sash. Again, this was something rather new to Harry, so it took him a couple of times to finally manage to tie the damnable thing on right, not to mention make sure that the top stay closed while he fought with the uncooperative piece of fabric!

Once he’d managed to put the full outfit on and give himself a once over in the mirror, Harry had to admit that Rarity had really outdone herself. She’d managed to make him look like he should be apprenticed to Merlin himself rather than struggling along through Hogwarts’ curriculum.

He didn’t know what to expect yesterday when she’d announced (more like proclaimed) that she was going to make him an entire wardrobe of ‘suitable clothes’, but he certainly hadn’t expected her to come up with something this extravagant, never mind something that actually fit a human, so quickly!

Wait a minute… How in the hay did she do all that in one night?

Quickly slipping on his shoes -and thanking the powers that be that black shoes went with everything, or he’d never hear the end of it – Harry stepped out of the changing room and posed the question, abruptly cutting off the mares’ conversation. “Rarity, this really is a wonderful outfit, but – if you don’t mind me asking – how exactly did you make this on such short notice?”

“Darling, I’m an artist!” She replied airily as she turned to appraise her work. “Oh, darling! That looks even better than I’d ever imagined!”

Twilight, while not having quite the eye for fashion that Rarity possessed, could appreciate both the hard work and innovation that went into the full ensemble. “Wow! You really put a lot of work into this one!” She exclaimed, earning a false ‘oh, stop’ gesture from the mare, who quite enjoyed the praise given.

“Yes,” Harry affirmed with slightly narrowed eyes, giving Rarity a rather suspicious look. The mare’s self-satisfied expression abruptly changed to one of guilt, her eyes shifting from side to side, refusing to meet his accusing gaze. “How did you say you managed to put this together so quickly?”

“W-Well, I might not be as skilled as Twilight in magic, but I’m more than capable of whipping up an outfit when the inspiration strikes me!” Rarity replied with a slight stammer.

“In a single night?”

“Harry, darling, if I can design six full scale dresses for an event as big as the Grand Galloping Gala, I can easily put together an ensemble for you in a shorter period of time.”

“Right,” he drawled, still looking anything but satisfied with her answer. “So, when did you sleep?”

Twilight had to resist giggling as the normally confident Rarity seemed to shift guiltily at the wizard’s accusations. To her, Rarity staying up all night to work when her muse presented her with an idea was nothing new. It was just as normal as Celestia raising the Sun and Luna raising the Moon; it just happened without fail.

Harry, however, hadn’t dealt with her long enough to realize that this was perfectly normal behavior. Even so, from what Twilight had seen, he had difficulty accepting help from others. Why? She wasn’t quite sure yet, and, initially, had been quite offended that he tried to refuse her offer during his first night in Ponyville.

It was a taboo that dated back to the earliest days of the Union of the Three Tribes: to refuse another pony’s offer for help was to say that either the problem was too big for them to handle or that it was beyond their capabilities.

If the messy-haired human before her - who had leveled a rather impressive imitation of her own stern glare at Rarity - was any indication, then humans evidently did not hold similar beliefs on the matter.

Under pressure of Harry’s disapproving gaze, Rarity finally relented. “Alright!” She cried dramatically, throwing a hoof over her forehead in over exaggerated despair. “I couldn’t sleep! I just had to make something! It was the chance of a lifetime! To make an entirely new ensemble for a new species and get you out of those dreadful, archaic robes! It just had to be done!”

Needless to say, Harry had no idea what to make of the mare’s rather dramatic claims. “I… I was just going to say that you really shouldn’t have stayed up all night just to put together one outfit for me,” he replied, but upon seeing the look of hurt cross her face, he continued hastily. “I appreciate it, really I love what you’ve given me, but I really wish you hadn’t lost a night’s sleep over something like this!”

“Something like – Harry, darling, your situation was a fashion emergency of the highest degree! And, really dear, an all nighter in the name of fashion is nothing to a mare like moi!” She proudly claimed, placing a hoof over her heart.

Harry made as if to continue protesting, but Twilight cut him off with a shake of her head. “Don’t bother arguing,” she said with no shortage of amusement. “Rarity takes anything she deems a fashion emergency rather seriously.”

“Oh, don’t be so smug, Twilight! After all, who is the mare that we all have to drag from her library more often than not?”

“Anyways!” Twilight said loudly, before her smirking friend could say any more. “Thank you so much for this, Rarity! But we really have to go! Only a half hour before the Princesses arrive and –“

Rarity let out what could only be described as a melodramatic gasp of horror. “The Princesses are coming to Ponyville?!”

“Oh? I thought I’d mentioned that! Yes, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are coming; they mentioned that they would’ve come sooner, but they wanted to make sure that Harry got settled in and at least somewhat acclimated with his surroundings first.”

“Twilight!” The fashion designer whined, stamping a hoof in frustration. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done? If I’d known they were coming, I’d have finished Harry’s outfit before adjusting it and having him try it on! Now, the first impression he makes will be ruined! The Princesses will think him to be some kind of ruffian! It will be –“

“Don’t say it!” Twilight snapped, partially in dismay that her friend’s typical comment would ruin her feeble grasp on her anxiety, partially in annoyance at hearing this tired old declaration. “Don’t you dare say it!”

“The worst –“

“Rarity, I’m warning you!”

“Possible. Th –“ A magenta aura forced her mouth to shut with a snap before she could finish her typical reaction to such a crisis. Rarity gave her studious friend an annoyed glare, pointing a hoof at her mouth and giving a muffled order to release her.

“Calm. Down. Now!” Twilight commanded as she released her grip on Rarity’s muzzle.

The irony in Twilight telling somepony else to calm down about the upcoming visit of the Royal Sisters wasn’t lost on Harry, but, for his own personal safety, he chose not to comment on the matter.

Wait a minute. Did she just say that she hadn’t finished?

“What do you mean ‘would have finished’?” Harry asked, drawing their attention to him again. “This is the whole thing, right?”

“Oh, heavens no, dear!” Rarity exclaimed once Twilight had released her hold. “As much as your clothing yesterday was a bit out of date at best, I did draw heavily from that! Your cloak was made of such heavy material, but I still wanted to keep something like that in the mix, if that makes sense.”

“But… I thought you didn’t like human fashion…”

“Oh, Harry, whenever did I say something like that? I simply said that your outfit was far too out of date! All that was needed were some new materials and a bit of modern flair!”

“But –“

“No! I’ll hear none of it!” She interrupted, waving him off with a hoof while her horn lit with magic. “I’ll just have to do this a bit quicker than anticipated! Shouldn’t take long if I –“

A rather vexed Twilight stepped forward and roughly jerked the fabric away with a burst of her own telekinesis. “Rarity, stop!” She commanded. “I understand what you’re trying to do, and I do appreciate the help, but we just don’t have the time!”

“But Twilight!”

“I’m sorry,” the librarian said, giving a stern look to the pouting designer. “But you’ll just have to wait until later to finish!”

“But –“

“Rarity, your design is lovely, I’m sure it will make a wonderful impression on the Princesses as is! We don’t have enough time to wait for you to make a full length cloak, especially considering that you have to allow for time to refit it for him!”

“Oh, fine!” Rarity lamented dramatically. “If you insist, then I guess there’s no choice.”

Twilight smiled, thankful that she’d finally managed to get through to her friend. “I knew you’d understand!”

“Yes, yes, just give me a moment to fix my mane and –“

“What?” Both she and Harry deadpanned in unison.

“Well, you don’t expect me to sit here twiddling my hooves while the Princesses are in town, do you?”

---  

As it turns out, trying to convince Rarity that she didn’t need to close up shop to come sit in on the Princess’ visit to offer “moral support” was just as futile as refusing her offer to design clothing.

Not for lack of trying on Twilight’s part, mind you, as she wasn’t too keen on her friend losing precious hours of work (and, therefore, income). But the young socialite remained steadfast, proclaiming “I’m ahead on my other projects, so I can afford to take one day off for something as important as this. Especially if the Princesses want a second opinion!”

So, two became three, and off they went to the library, with Harry struggling to keep up with the mares’ rapid-fire advice for how to properly present himself and address the Royal Sisters.

In his opinion, it was far more likely that his head would explode in an overly comical fashion than he fully recall anything past “kneel and greet by title” and “always address by title”.

Hopefully, the unicorn duo were blowing this strict adherence to protocol out of proportion, otherwise he’d be treading some dangerous waters with no idea how to swim.

Well, with Princess Celestia’s personal student and Ponyville’s resident socialite by his side, at least he could use them as life lines as he attempted to navigate the mine field that speaking to, not one, but two members of the local royalty would likely be.

And furthermore… was that a whistling sound?

“Oh, bugger,” he muttered as he turned and was greeted by the sight of his prismatic maned friend speeding towards him with a mischievous smirk on her face.

There was no way he’d be able to dodge in time; she was coming in way to fast. At this rate, once she collided with him, the pair would be skidding back a few feet down the road. Yet again.

He truly hoped this wasn’t going to become her typical method of greeting him. Really, would a simple “Hi, Harry” or “What’s up, fuzzy top” be too much to ask? With a small sigh of resignation, Harry closed his eyes and braced for impact, idly wondering how many ribs she’d crack after hitting him at that velocity.

Of all the things he expected, the sound of what he assumed to be a pegasus smacking into something rather solid was not on his list.

Harry cracked open an eye, still a bit cautious in case it was just his ears playing tricks on him, but the sight of Rainbow Dash smashed up against a shimmering blue barrier.

The cyan mare groaned in pain as she slid down, her slow descent coming with the rather comedic sound of something sliding against wet rubber, which seemed to add insult to injury. Harry winced as Rainbow sat up and rubbed a rather sizeable bump on her head; while the prospect of being rammed into at such a high speed wasn’t exactly something he found pleasant, that didn’t mean that he wanted to see his friend smash into a barrier of solid magic.

Speaking of which, Twilight didn’t throw up a barrier, did she? A quick glance to the side confirmed that she hadn’t, which made sense, given that it was a light blue hue rather than her trademark magenta glow.

“Rainbow Dash!” Rarity raged, stomping forth and glaring down at her through sapphire eyes. “Do you have any idea what you nearly just did?!”

The speedster paused, shooting a look of pained annoyance at her friend. “Well, I thought I was gonna say hi to my friend until somepony apparently thought it would be a good time to show off that she’d learned a barrier spell!”

“I don’t recall you knowing that one either,” Twilight added as she approached, her horn alight with magic as she checked her pegasus friend over for injuries. Fortunately, she had none aside from the bump on her head and the headache she was likely experiencing. “It sure was impressive, but did you really have to throw up a barrier?”

“And let her tackle Harry to the ground and mess up his clothes just before a meeting with royalty? Twilight, I will most certainly not allow anypony to ruin Harry’s chances of making a good first impression. Least of all because of Rainbow’s antics!”

“Well, excuse me, Princess!” Rainbow snapped, immediately on her hooves and glaring right back into Rarity’s eyes. “I guess I didn’t realize that Harry was wearing the Holy Horseshoe and isn’t allowed to have any fun today!”

“Do you even listen? The Princesses are coming to meet Harry today and you want to tackle him in one of your uncouth wrestling matches!”

“Hey! I never said I was psychic! How was I supposed to know that the… wait, are you serious?” The athletic pegasus’ attitude underwent a rather abrupt shift, much to Harry’s relief and mild surprise. From what he’d seen of her, Rainbow Dash seemed to be a pony who loved to roughhouse, but had a very short temper. She was more of an ‘act now, question later’ type, not one to sit down and talk about a problem she had.

The fact that her ruby eyes showed nothing less than utmost seriousness as she glanced from Rarity to Twilight, seemingly holding a silent conversation, was something completely new. Sure, lecturing a foal who idolized her was one thing, but to see her taking a visit from royalty so seriously spoke volumes.

And, really, who could blame him when she’d pulled that stupid ‘sneak up with a thunder cloud and kick it’ prank on him three times at that party?

Twilight sighed, but smiled all the same. “Just make it quick,” she said, answering whatever silent question Rainbow had been asking.

“Oh, please,” she scoffed, flipping her mane in a cocky manner. “Am I ever anything but?” The cyan pegasus shot off into the sky like a speeding bullet, veering over Ponyville to a destination unknown to the confused human.

“What… just happened?” Harry asked hesitantly, feeling more than a bit left out of the conversation.

“Oh, don’t worry too much about it, darling!” Rarity assured him with a wave of her hoof. “Rainbow just went off to gather the rest of the girls and bring them to the library.”

The teen blinked once, trying to wrap his mind around this one. “Don’t they have other jobs?”

“Well, yes, but something like this normally takes priority over our day-to-day work.”

Before Harry could protest, Twilight cut in. “I’m sure they’d appreciate your concern, but this is how we tend to treat visits like this. You already heard Rarity’s reasons for coming, theirs will be similarly along those lines.”

“If you say so,” he muttered, still unsure.

“We do!” The mares chimed with matching grins. Harry rolled his eyes playfully and let it go, if they could keep him from somehow ending up in prison, more power to them.

Fortunately, as a quick survey of his surroundings told him, they didn’t have much time to wear those victorious grins, as they were already almost to the library.

All he needed now was to go inside, take a deep breath, and mentally prepare for what he was about to go through and just wait for the Royal Sisters – as he’d heard them referred to – to arrive.

Naturally, Harry’s old friend Murphy had other plans.

Plans in the form of a pair of regal looking chariots - one gold with a blue star, the other black with a silver star – standing in front of the library, surrounded by four pones, which Harry assumed to be Royal Guards.

The fact that they wore armor that matched each chariot was more than a bit of a hint, and also gave Harry that sudden sinking feeling. The one that any young teen has when they realize that the fun and games are over and that, suddenly, everything was real.

Suddenly, that fear of standing before the princesses, standing before royalty, all seemed so much more real. Suddenly, the thought that he was about to plead his case before a pair of near deities, one of whom was Twilight’s teacher, was that much more terrifying.

One princess who could raise the Sun, the other who moved the Moon? No rocket ship would be necessary to send his scrawny behind into the far reaches of the cosmos.

Having previous experience with plans going awry, Harry took a quick glance at the chariots and armor worn by the Guards, hoping that would provide him some sort of clue as to how each respective Princess would be.

He would go ahead and assume that the golden chariot was for Celestia, Princess of the Day, and that the obsidian one belonged to Luna, Princess of the Night, that much seemed a safe guess. Choice of color wasn’t too much of a surprise; he was more interested in the styles evident.

Celestia’s chariot seemed a bit more… welcoming, yes, that seemed like a nice word. The design was quite regal and showy, but it looked similar to paintings and various images of the chariots of benevolent rulers from Earth’s history. Polished metal, no rough edges, and the focal point being the shining blue star on proud display. The armor worn by two of the Royal Guards matched, their armor seemed a bit more conservative, almost similar to the armor worn in the stories of Camelot. These Guards had white coats and blue manes, and were most definitely pegasi. Their stoic expressions were almost exactly those one would find on the traditional Royal Guards for the British Royal Family; faces like stone, gaze unwavering.

As for that of the Princess of the Night… her choice of style was a bit concerning. Going to school in an ancient castle made Harry appreciate at least a bit of the Gothic style of architecture and art.

Luna took that and seemed to have decided that overkill was underrated. While her sister’s chariot seemed a bit more traditional, Luna’s was designed in a way that some might consider better suited for Halloween; rather sharp looking edges, a large spike in the middle, a style similar to that of her guards’ armor. In addition to how the style of their armor made them look, her guards had dark grey coats, sharp fangs that poked down over their lips, reptilian looking pupils, and, oddly enough, had batwings.

With aggressive looking smirks and a near predatory look in their eyes, Luna’s guards sent a clear message: don’t trifle with us, or the ruler of the night.

While Harry felt it hypocritical to make this call based on the stylistic choices of both Princesses, he couldn’t help but feel that he would have to take a bit more caution when speaking with Luna.

As much as Harry was stressing over the fact that they’d been beaten to the library, Twilight was going into a near nervous breakdown.

A fact that wasn’t lost on Harry or Rarity. “Oh dear,” Rarity whispered as her friend’s eye began to twitch madly. This was reminding her a bit too much of that tardy incident.

“The Princesses are here?” She shrieked. “B-But it’s too early! Harry’s not ready! Spike probably hasn’t even finished cleaning the library and – oh, the bookshelves will be a mess!”

“Twilight.”

“Oh, I don’t even want to know how many streamers Pinkie left and –“

“Twilight…”

“ – she used all that confetti when she fired off that crazy party cannon of hers!”

“Twilight!” The panicking mare snapped to attention as Rarity finally managed to bring her back to reality. “Relax, dear. Deep breaths, remember? We went over this after the last incident with a certain doll – “

Celestia’s student visibly winced at the reminder, looking down in shame. “You promised never to bring up Smarty Pants!” She whined.

“My point stands, dear. The Princesses are here early, so we’ll just have to make do. Harry,” the boy immediately gave the mare his full and undivided attention as soon as he caught a determined gleam in her eyes. “Keep in mind what we’ve told you: be courteous, don’t interrupt when spoken to, and do try to remember to address them properly.”

Though Harry’s history with ignoring good advice was well documented, now was definitely not the time for him to have another of his less-than-brilliant moments.

He knew that he already had his work cut out for him, but now that he’d at least been given an idea of what each Princess seemed to find likeable, he was growing more nervous by the second.

Between one who seemed to imitate the style of a legendary kingdom, and the other whose style was quite intimidating, Harry felt caught between divine judgment and a state tribunal.

He considered the prospects of coming up with a plan, but those never seemed to pan out for him whenever he’d tried in the past. It was probably best to keep it simple and stick with Rarity’s advice. In short, answer whatever questions they might have and don’t give the impression of lying.

At all.

Somehow, he had the distinct feeling that he was to be examined under a microscope. All that were missing were the lab coats and clipboards.

One of the golden-armored guards took notice of their approach and stepped forward to address them. “Miss Sparkle,” he greeted, throwing a salute. Well, to greet at least one of them.

“Lieutenant Thunder Wing,” she replied a bit nervously, shuffling a hoof in the dirt. “N-Nice to see you again. I-If you don’t mind my asking, but why are you all here so early? Princess Celestia clearly said noon in her letter.”

“My apologies for the early arrival, miss, but Princess Celestia had a sudden change of heart and decided to surprise you. Err, you know how she does love surprises.”

Twilight seemed to accept this explanation, albeit a bit grudgingly if her groan was any indication. Evidently, Princess Celestia liked to throw her student the proverbial curveball every once in a while.

Hopefully, curveballs meant that the Princess could be flexible when it came to new ideas or species.

Captain Thunder Wing turned and opened the door, stepping back to his post and gesturing the group in with a wave of his hoof. Harry gulped, trying to force down the lump that had somehow lodged itself in his throat and moved towards what could very well be the most important meeting in his life.

How was he supposed to do this again? Oh, sod it, he should’ve just had Rarity make some cue cards and had her hold them up behind the Princesses with her telekinesis whenever it looked like he was about to put his foot in his mouth.

Too late for that, he thought wryly as he entered and gazed upon the rulers of the realm for the first time.

They were sitting side by side at the table, idly sipping at tea and chatting with Spike as if they were old friends. Well, the taller, white-coated sister with the prismatic, ethereal mane was chatting a bit more animated; perhaps a sign of familiarity, which made sense, given that he was Twilight’s assistant and de facto little brother and she was, if the gold crown and accessories that matched the chariot outside so perfectly were anything to go by, her teacher. Her serene smile and calm voice were indicative of her many years upon the throne, though she spoke with a small hint of joy that seemed to show that her demeanor wasn’t at all insincere.

As for the smaller sister, the midnight blue one with an ethereal mane that seemed to shimmer with the stars of the night, she seemed a bit more subdued; not anti-social, but not nearly as animated in speaking with Spike. She didn’t ignore him, she spoke when he addressed her and smiled kindly as she spoke. However, while her sister’s voice was confident, hers seemed quieter, almost akin to that of a child ashamed of past wrongdoings. In fact, it was almost as if she were trying to be as quiet as possible, not unlike Fluttershy.

Celestia and Luna, the Royal Sisters, the Rulers of Equestria, sitting side by side, waiting to speak with and, ultimately, pass judgment on him.

Harry was stricken with the sudden urge to heave as the gravity of the situation hit him with the full force of Rainbow Dash bowling him over at top speed. It would be fine, he told himself, it would all turn out just fine.

If only he could convince that little voice in the back of his mind that was screaming in terror and telling him to put something rather solid between him and the Princesses.

The Princesses halted their conversation and turned to face him, smiling welcomingly and rising to their feet… err, hooves.

Damn, the novelty of that had already worn off.

Not wanting to seem rude, Harry bowed at the waist, while Twilight and Rarity kneeled down on their forelegs in their own form of respect to their rulers. The taller one, Celestia, if the image of the Sun displayed on her flank was any indication, chuckled lightly and spoke. “Rise, my little ponies… and human,” somehow, Harry felt a sneaking suspicion that she was a bit amused at having to amend her command to include another species. “Twilight, my dear student, I trust you’ve been well” she greeted as she stepped forward to embrace her student, exchanging a fond nuzzle with the young librarian.

“Oh, yes, Princess!” Her student chirped happily. “I’ve learned so many new things about magic and friendship since we visited the Crystal Empire!”

The Solar Princess’s smile brightened, making it similar to one a proud mother might wear when her child had accomplished something brilliant. “I look forward to hearing all about it, perhaps in your next friendship report?”

Harry knew he wasn’t exactly the most savvy of people when it came to social interactions, but he could recognize a dropped hint when he saw one.

“Oh, um, yes of course!” Twilight stammered, her cheeks flushing light red. “It has been a while since the last one, hasn’t it?”

“Our sister is merely teasing thee, Twilight Sparkle,” the blue-coated pony, Princess Luna, spoke up. “She, of all ponies, knows quite well that thou hath been quite busy due to… recent events.”

The sideways, appraising glance she directed at Harry didn’t go unseen by any of the room’s occupants.

Rather than shift immediately to serious matters, Celestia rolled her eyes playfully. “Oh, hush, Lulu, let an old mare have her fun!”

“Thou art an immortal alicorn princess, we would hardly call thee an ‘old mare’, Tia.”

“Details,” she scoffed, turning her attention to Rarity next. “I’ve heard some rather interesting things about your business, quite an increase in traffic from the upper crust of Equestrian society, hmm?”

Saying that Rarity’s grin was nearly as blinding as the Sun was only a bit of an exaggeration. But, to her credit, she managed to keep her rather obvious excitement in check. For the most part. “Oh, yes, well, meeting the right ponies, networking and all that jazz.”

If not for the little dance she was doing, practically prancing in place, Harry would’ve been quite impressed at her restraint. But far be it from him to deny her a sense of accomplishment in her craft, especially with praise coming from the highest authority in the land.

Almost on cue, the Solar Diarch turned her attention to Harry and finally addressed him. “And you must be the young Harry Potter we’ve heard so much about. My name is Celestia and this,” she nodded to her sister. “is my dear sister, Luna.”

Oh, right. He was the odd man out on this happy little reunion. In a rather literal sense, now that he thought about it.

How was he supposed to respond to her again? Oh, right, pay attention to titles, be respectful, try not to stammer and all that rot.

“Uh… Er… Yes! Yes, I’m Harry – er – Your Highness and – er – Your Highness?” The distinct sound of twin facehooves from just behind him, along with a matching facepalm from the young drake standing beside Princess Celestia, reinforced a fact that Harry knew the moment his mouth had opened.

He really sucked at this.

Harry made a quick mental note that a career in any form of politics or public relations was likely not in the card, but he might have something in comedic pratfalls if slapstick ever made a comeback.

Much to his relief – and incredulity – the Princesses didn’t look down their muzzles at him or scold him for his posture or manner of speaking.

“Steady thy nerves, young human,” Luna chided in an almost teasing manner. “We have come before thee to meet the colt – rather, the boy – that has taken residence in our land, not to visit harm upon thee.”

Celestia, on the other hand, kept up that serene smile. Idly, Harry wondered if anything could shake one who had ruled for millennia. “Indeed,” she affirmed. “My ever-faithful student hasn’t stopped talking about you in her letters, so, naturally, my curiosity was piqued.”

Turning his gaze to the resident librarian, Harry was met with a sheepish smile and light blush. “W-Well, I may have mentioned one or two things about your diet and physiology, and maybe a couple of things about what I’d learned from watching you levitate Spike along with what I saw of your temperament from your interactions with Rainbow and Applejack.”

He resisted the urge to make some sort of snarky, teasing remark, as it probably wasn’t the best idea to do so in front of his friend’s teacher. Not so much that the Princesses seemed too overly strict with him at the moment, given their assurances and acceptance of his botched greeting, but more for Twilight’s self-image.

Harry would admit, she probably felt the same way standing in front of Princess Celestia right now as he would standing in front of Professor Dumbledore had the roles been reversed: a powder keg of nerves and anxiety.

Not at all the best combination.

So, with her feelings in mind, Harry just shrugged and turned to face the Princesses again, waiting for them to decide where this conversation would go. Really, he was in their domain, so the ball was, quite literally, in their court.

Sensing his hesitation, the sisters returned to their seats, motioning for the others to join. “As I’m sure my student has informed you, my sister and I have been quite interested in you since you first stumbled into our land. Both due to the strange circumstances that brought you here and the absence of humans in our world for over a thousand years.”

“Yes, she’s, ah, she’s told me,” Harry began, as he tried to figure out how he should word this question. Might as well just go for blunt curiosity. “But I don’t understand… why?”

That managed to get a small chuckle out of both Princesses. “If your question is why you’ve become the object of our interest, there are a few reasons,” Celestia admitted. “The first is the stated fact that the last remnants of humanity in Equestria vanished during the reign of Discord, a product of his chaotic magic and several wars within the species. Which… prompts me to ask if this is similar in your world?”

“Entities capable of using chaos magic? I don’t believe so,” he answered. “Humans killing other humans? Yes. Very much yes.”

“We must wonder why thy race falls so easily to war,” Luna pondered aloud. “Granted, the three pony races have been at odds through various times in history, but still…”

Harry couldn’t help but shrug. “I’m sorry, Princess, but I can’t explain it any better than I can explain how I got here. Actually, how I got here would probably be easier.”

“Indeed, while we have seen war in years past, we doth find the logic for waging battle quite inconsequential when we count the lives lost. But, perhaps that is a conversation for another day. Returning to the topic at hoof,” Harry bit the inside of his cheek to avoid laughing. “We also found ourselves curious as to how it came to pass that thou were able to cross into our world.”

“But since the answer to that is a mystery to you,” Celestia picked up where her sister left off. “We can only discuss things from your perspective and try to piece together the cause. Until then, I’m afraid that all we can ask of you is to sit tight, as they say, and let us try to help.”

Harry nodded, accepting that he had no choice but to accept whatever help they could give him. He hadn’t the slightest idea as to why that strange door had shipped him to Equestria, let alone brought him to this tiny town. At this point, sitting and waiting was his best, and only, option.

Returning his nod with a smile of thanks, Luna continued. “Another area of interest was –“

Suddenly, the door burst open, and four mares all but tumbled into the room in a heap of limbs. Harry stared in a mix of disbelief and mild amusement as the girls apologized (Fluttershy), argued (Rainbow and Applejack) or giggled and gleefully cried “Do it again! Do it again!”

Well, Rainbow certainly had been quick in gathering the rest of the gang.

As amusing as the sight was, Princess Celestia cleared her throat, raising an eyebrow and smirking playfully at her little ponies, who froze in place immediately under the gaze of their benevolent rulers. The four mares quickly detangled and leapt to their hooves, brushing off dust and grinning sheepishly at their audience.

“Hello, Princesses!” They chimed in unison, pretending as if nothing had happened.

“Hello, my little ponies!” The Solar Diarch returned in kind, without missing a beat.

Luna, had a bit more difficult time restraining her mirth, but managed to steer things back in the appropriate direction. “Sooth! Our little ponies’ entrance is perfectly timed! Almost on cue, Tia!”

“Quite so, quite so. Actually, this ties into the next reason for our interest in you, Harry.”

Seeing the human’s confusion, Luna explained. “Thou hath done what the humans in our world failed to do, young Harry. These mares saw thee while thy world was ripped from thine eyes and replaced with another. And yet, they accepted thee and thou didst return the favor in kind. In short, an impossible situation brought thee to our world, and thou adapted and made friends rather than attacking or drawing back in fear.”

“You didn’t see him the first night, Princess,” Spike quipped, throwing the mood entirely as an opportunity to needle the newcomer presented itself. “He nearly jumped out of his skin when he found out we could talk!”

“Spike!” Twilight groaned.

Harry glared at the cheeky little reptile, eyes narrowing as the young drake stuck out a long, serpentine tongue at him and ignored Twilight’s scolding. “Funny,” he said. “I seem to recall you having the same reaction when I levitated you a few feet off the ground.”

“Hey! That totally doesn’t count! I’ve been dropped way too many times to be comfortable with that! Besides, you still flipped when everypony jumped out at the party last night!”

“SPIKE…” The drake’s mouth shut with an audible click as Twilight’s tone registered; it was the same tone she used whenever he was in trouble, from the day she’d hatched him, it had always been the same.

“Sorry, Twi,” he mumbled, shuffling his feet nervously.

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to, mister,” she scolded, pointing a hoof towards Harry.

Who, at this point, looked a bit guilty in his own right. “Twilight, really, it was just a bit of fun.”

“I understand ‘fun’ well enough, but both of you should know better.”

The boys winced at the cool manner she’d scolded them, each mumbling an apology to one another.

“Really, you two, there is such thing as a time and place,” Rarity added.

“Oh, give it a rest, Rares,” Dash scoffed. “It’s all in good fun, right Princess?”

Luna cleared her throat and leveled Rainbow with a stern look. “We agree that having fun with one’s friends is a wonderful thing, Rainbow Dash, but Rarity is correct in her assessment of there being a time and place for certain things. For instance, this is not the time or place for us to mention that Tia has been cheating on her diet –“

“Luna!”

“Oops,” she shrugged, smirking mischievously. “Slip of the tongue, Tia. Just a slip of the tongue.”

The Solar Diarch gave a deadpan expression, clearly indicating her feelings on her sister’s sincerity before resuming her calm expression and speaking up again. “Returning to our discussion,” she said rather forcefully, earning a light eye roll from Luna. “A couple of other things were brought to our attention as well. Namely, that your race is capable of wielding magic, but in a different manner than ours.”

“Yes, Twilight mentioned that when she saw,” he said with a nod as he pulled his wand out and held it for them to examine. “I have to channel magic through a wand to focus it, more for control really. Children in my world have a tendency to use magic accidentally without one.”

“Interesting,” Luna murmured as she leaned in for a closer look. “Thou speak of a phenomena similar to accidental magical bursts seen in unicorn foals, but since thy race lacked a natural means of channeling magic, they created one, correct?”

“Er, somewhat, I think. Sorry, but the history of wand lore isn’t my strong suit.”

“We understand, child. History of such an object is likely an area of rather intensive study. However, we are more interested in seeing a demonstration of thy abilities, if thou art willing.”

Giving another shrug and nod of acceptance, Harry thought a minute about what to do, something simple enough but giving a view of rudimentary magic.

He could always levitate Spike again, but, if he remembered correctly, the drake had mentioned something about that being quite basic for unicorn magic. Sure, it was simple enough, but still, it might be a bit too basic. Besides, he already did that once to show Twilight. He wanted to do something different this time.

Something that would show the Princesses what they wanted, but still something that would be a bit fun.

Maybe he could get one of the girls to volunteer. Probably not Fluttershy, she was just too timid and Harry really didn’t want to scare her. The fact that the town might actually come after him if he did anything to make her cry was only further incentive not to ask her.

Pinkie… was Pinkie. He wasn’t even going to go there. She’d already done things that seemed odd to him, a freaking wizard, so adding magic to the equation wasn’t something he was interested in at the moment.

Rainbow was certainly brave enough, from what he’d seen, as was Applejack. Hmm…

“Applejack, Rainbow,” he called. “Can I borrow you for this?”

“Sure, dude! Just don’t mess with the feathers! Or the mane! Definitely do not touch the mane!”

“Aw, shoot, Dash! Relax would ya!” The farm mare scolded with a roll of her eyes. “Harry, ignore her an’ just fire away. Ah trust ya.”

“Thanks girls,” he said giving them a rather odd smile. “Ready?”

“As Ah’ll ever be.”

“Go for it, dude!”

“Perfect. And you, Princesses?”

“We are ready and vigilant, young one.” Luna replied. “We have prepared a spell that will allow us to see the magic flow through thy body!”

“Good, there’s just one thing I have to say. More for Rainbow and Applejack.”

Rainbow snorted and flipped her multicolored locks. “Dude, if you’re gonna warn us to get ready, just relax, I was just kiddin’!”

“Oh, no, not that at all,” he shook his head. “I was just gonna say, laugh it up.”

The mares shared a look of confusion with one another before directing their attention to him again. “Er, laugh what up, Sugercube?”

“This: Rictosempra!” Harry flicked his wand and caught both of them with a burst of magic before they could react. It took them about a half a second to realize what spell he’d chosen to hit them with.

“PFFFFT – HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU LI – HIHIHIHIHI – TTLE JE –HEHEHEHEHEHEHE – RK!” Rainbow shrieked, writhing on the floor and kicking her hooves in the air as she tried to escape the invisible feathers that tickled her most sensitive areas. Her sides, her stomach, the muscles on her back, even right beneath her wing joints. All her most ticklish spots were being attacked at once!

Dear Celestia, what in the hay had he done to her?

“AH – AHAHAHAHAHA – AH’LL GETCHA FER THIS YA LIL’ PARA –PFFF HAHAHA – SPRI – HIHIHIHI – TE! AH’M GONNA – HAHAHA OH NELLY! MAKE IT ST – AHAHAHA – OP!”

“Sorry, girls, but I owed you for yesterday!” He laughed as he stepped away from Rainbow’s hooves, avoiding her failed attempt to wrestle him to the floor and exact revenge.  “What do you think, Princess?”

“Quite interesting,” Celestia chuckled as she pondered what she’d seen. “It seems that magic flows through your body in a manner similar to that of a unicorn, but rather than being channeled through the horn, it flows through your fingertips, into the wand and outwards. Fascinating.”

“We agree,” Luna affirmed. “We are quite pleased to see that thy people’s magic and our own is similar in nature.” She paused a beat and broke into a rather mischievous grin. “And thy choice in spell and test subject were quite amusing. Turnabout is indeed fair play, is it not girls?”

“HAHAHA C’MON LU – HAHAHA – NA! MAKE HIM ST – AHAHAHAHA – OP IT!”

“Very well. Harry?”

“Yes, Princess. Finite Incantatum!” With a wave of his wand, Harry’s spell was broken. Applejack and Rainbow gasped in relief, greedily sucking in as much air as their lungs could hold, still fighting giggles as the tingling sensation slowly wore off. Harry turned from them, pointedly ignoring the pair’s looks of promised vengeance in favor of the more amused giggles from the rest of the girls.

Even Fluttershy was doing her very best to hide her smile behind a hoof as her body shook with hidden laughter. Rarity and Twilight, however, weren’t so restrained. The unicorn duo were openly laughing at their friends, fully aware that both had more than earned every bit of Harry’s punishment for them.

As for Pinkie…

Harry yelped as he was all but tackled to the ground by the bubbly pink mare. “Me next! Me next Me next!” She chanted gleefully, giggling as she pinned him down. “I wanna play the invisible tickle game!”

“ACK! Pinkie! Get off!” He grumbled. “It’s not a game, it’s a charm! A spell from my world!”

That, of course, did nothing to sway Pinkie. She stopped giggling and grinning, her expression changing to the same wide, teary-eyed pouting face that the Crusaders had used on him the day before.

Ok, this was getting out of hand.

“No, Pinkie,” he refused, trying to steer things back towards some semblance of seriousness, but the bubbly baker, ever the bastion of silliness, was not to be dissuaded. Her lower lip began to quiver, she sniffled and drew even closer, making sure that he couldn’t look away.

“Pinkie, really, we don’t have time for this.”

Still nothing, she just kept staring into his eyes.

“Oh, come on, Pinkie! You can’t possibly be serious right now!”

Those cerulean eyes seemed to bore deep into his soul, their owner refusing to do anything more than whimper, silently begging him to give in and let her join in the fun.

Damn it, were these bloody ponies genetically altered for that face to be near lethal or something?

Twilight cleared her throat, pulling Pinkie off with a quick bit of telekinesis. “Pinkie, you and Harry can play with magic later,” her statement only served to make her friend direct those watery eyes at her, but Twilight had an advantage over Harry.

She’d known Pinkie long enough to resist her demands to a certain degree; the presence of the Royal Sisters gave her just that much more motivation to cut off this journey into Pinkie’s world of silliness before it began.

“Fine,” Pinkie sighed, folding her hooves and giving Harry a rather surprisingly stern look. “But I expect magic tricks at the next party I throw, mister!”

… Yet another example of the truth behind Applejack’s statement from last night. Sometimes, it was best to just give in and give up on trying to understand the inner workings of Pinkie’s mind. So, he did the only thing that seemed sensible.

“I’ll see what I can do,” he with his best possible poker face. “I might have to brush up on my card tricks, but I can whip up a transfiguration or two.”

Harry pushed himself up to a seated position and was met with amused grins from the Princesses and most of his friends; evidently, Pinkie’s special brand of silliness had been expected the moment she’d entered the library.

“It seems that you’re a stallion in demand,” Celestia teased good-naturedly.

“Uh, yes, it would seem so… Though, I should say that grown males of my species are usually referred to as ‘men.’”

“Ah, yes, the linguistic differences that Twilight mentioned in another of her letters,” she muttered. “Interesting, but that is, perhaps, a discussion for another day. I am quite interested in something else, something that Twilight said that you’ve referenced occasionally over the course of the past couple of days.”

“What… What might that be?” Harry wracked his brain, wondering what he’d said that could’ve been worthy of such interest.

The crack about wishing he could get along with siblings? No, that was only once. Trying to refuse aid of various forms? Well, maybe, but that had been more of an area of minor cultural difference, if the mares’ offense whenever he’d tried said anything about that.

“Our sister is referring to when thou spoke of your kinsmen’s suspicion of thee,” Luna clarified. “In Twilight Sparkle’s letters, we found it rather odd that thy people would label thee a ‘cheater’ and stare at thee without reason. We were hoping that thou might shed some light on the subject.” Harry felt the breath hitch in his throat; he wasn’t expecting that at all. Those had just been passing remarks.

He gulped, trying to swallow the lump that seemed to have formed. This was a conversation he’d been hoping to avoid, he’d hoped that quickly changing the subject would make the girls forget what he’d said or at least make it seem like he was just being silly.

Evidently, Twilight was much more attentive than he gave her credit for. Perhaps a product of having Spike as her de facto younger sibling had given her a bit of experience detecting when someone close to her was trying to hide something.

He didn’t have much of a choice. If he told them, they might pity his situation, but he rather enjoyed being treated like a normal person. If he refused, he would give the impression that he was a cheater and a liar and that he’d tried to hide it from them.

Damned if he did, damned if he didn’t.

With a sigh, he steadied his nerves and resigned himself to recounting the strange circumstances that had led to his entry into the Triwizard Tournament and, subsequently, his arrival in Twilight’s loft.

“In my world,” he began hesitantly. “Humans capable of magic – wizards and witches, that is – are sent to schools to learn control and practice proper usage of magic. I attend a school called Hogwarts, located in the British Isles, my homeland. This year, an old tradition was revived: the Triwizard Tournament.

“The Triwizard Tournament involves three schools: Beauxbatons, located in a country called France, Durstrang, which is somewhere in Central or Eastern Europe, and Hogwarts. The schools are renowned as the three premier magical institutions of the world, due to their long histories of tradition and academic reputation. The Tournament was created for each school to showcase its best and brightest students, to challenge their courage, wit and application of magic. But, it was discontinued for nearly two hundred years.”

“Hold up a minute,” Rainbow interrupted. “If this thing was so big for these schools, why cancel it for so long?”

“Ah gotta go with Rainbow on this, sugercube. Ya made it sound like it was such a big deal to yer people and then say they got rid o’ it fer so long. It don’t add up.”

Harry grimaced, this was the part he really hadn’t looked forward to explaining. “They discontinued it due to the death toll.”

There was a beat of silence. Literally, a moment of nothing but blank stares from all parties.

“WHAT?!”

“It was common for at least one of the three champions selected to die,” he explained, much to their growing horror. “In the last one – before the revival, of course – all three were killed in the first task.”

“Oh my goodness!” Fluttershy whimpered as she tried to hide behind her long pink bangs.

Competitor though she may be, Rainbow Dash was absolutely stunned at this. “What the – Who in – What in – Why in Equestria would anypony –“

“Darling! I mean no offense to you, but what is wrong with your species?” Rarity shrieked.

“I don’t have an answer for that.”

“Why would anypony want to participate?” Twilight demanded, nearly frothing at the mouth. “What could possibly motivate somepony to sign up for such a thing?”

Harry shrugged. “A chance to win money, the opportunity for your name to be immortalized, and a few other nonsensical things that are, quite frankly, meaningless when it comes down to it.”

“That isn’t right,” Pinkie grumbled. “Tournaments are supposed to be fun, like parties. They’re supposed to have a happy ending! Your world is doing it wrong!”

“Believe me, I agree wholeheartedly.”

“Um, Harry. I really don’t want to sound rude, but your world seems scary,” Fluttershy admitted. “If you don’t mind me saying.”

Almost on cue, Rarity threw her piece in.“I agree entirely, dear, this whole ordeal just seems so… so ghastly!”

“Ah’ve half a mind to buck the idiot who came up with bringin’ this thing back in the face,” the farm pony growled, lowering the brim of her Stetson. “What yer talkin’ ‘bout is just stupid, on more levels than Ah care to count!”

“Ladies, please,” Celestia admonished, though she too seemed quite put off by the news. “This information is quite appalling, but let us not judge an entire species based on the actions of a few. I believe you all learned a similar lesson in meeting your friend, Zecora,” the mares nodded, though their looks of disgust remained. The Princess turned her focus back to the young human, looking a more than a bit confused. “Harry, forgive me if I seem a bit out of my depth, but I fail to see what this has to do with you. Based on the way you speak of this ‘Triwizard Tournament’, it seems like something you’d have nothing to do with.”

And there’s the rub.

Harry rubbed the back of his neck and smiled sheepishly. “Well…” How exactly should he explain this one? “That’s the thing. I didn’t enter my name to be selected, but someone else did. On the night that the champions were selected, there were four chosen: three of which met the age requirements, one that didn’t. Me.”

If the silence after he informed them about the death toll was indicative of the indignation and horror felt by all present, this was almost tenfold.

“But they don’t expect you to compete, right?” Twilight asked shakily. “You said it, you don’t meet the requirements, so you can’t compete.”

“I wish. They use a very powerful magical artifact, called the Goblet of Fire, to select the champions for each school, one that creates a binding agreement that a champion consents to by writing their name on a slip of parchment and dropping it into the Goblet.”

“But you didn’t!” Rainbow protested, slamming her hooves on the table. “You didn’t put your name down! That’s… That voids the contract right?”

With a sigh, he shook his head. “I asked that as well, but no, it doesn’t. Supposedly, the magic binds itself to my name, which, depending on who you listen to, is very powerful magic.”

Before one of the girls could launch into another tirade, Celestia posed the question in a calm manner, almost similar to academic curiosity. “How powerful?”

“Again, it depends on who you listen to. Some scholars believe that you can visit horrible things upon another by using their name in an incantation, others say that names are only useful in oaths or, in this case, a magical contract.”

“Can thou not simply refuse to participate?” Luna threw in, her brow furrowing in concentration as she considered the likelihood of whether or not Harry could even survive a tournament that had claimed the lives of many before him, students with more knowledge and experience under their belts.

To their dismay, he shook his head. “No, that’s where the binding contract comes into play. In order to ensure that no one backs out, the Goblet punishes those who renege on their agreement once their name has been chosen.”

“And what punishments are there? Monetary reparations? Imprisonment?”

“That’s where it gets even more hedgy. No one has actually refused to participate in the tournament, so no one has ever seen what the Goblet of Fire does to someone who reneges. It could be something simple, yet humiliating, like impotency, it could render me unable to use magic, or it could kill me in a rather painful way.” As he finished, he noticed that the mood had shifted abruptly. It wasn’t horror or outrage that someone had entered him into what was, effectively, a death trap. It was the same fear he’d dealt with since his name came out.

The fear that he had no way out. His only option was how he suffered. He could endure unforeseeable pain in the tasks or he could spin his own personal wheel of fortune and see what the Goblet punished him with.

What happened next, Harry very well would’ve missed if he hadn’t felt it happen.

He blinked and, suddenly, Fluttershy had tackled him in a rib-cracking hug and was nuzzling his neck, tears streaming down her face as she seemingly tried to negate the magical contract via maternal affection.

“No!” She sobbed. “No, no, no, no, no!”

“Fluttershy – ACK! You’re crushing my ribs!” Ponyville’s animal caretaker loosened her grip slightly, but refused to let go of her new friend. She rocked back, pulling him back into a seated position, and wrapped her wings around him, just as she would do with one of her animal friends when they were hurt or sick.

Pinkie and Rarity took this as their cue to join in, each rapping their forelegs around him, silently holding him. Each had their own experiences with young foals – Rarity had comforted her little sister after she’d come home in tears from being laughed at for not having her Cutie Mark, and Pinkie from having dealt with rocking the Pumpkin and Pound Cake to sleep. All that mattered right now was holding on to their friend and letting him know that they were there for him.

But for three other mares, a simple hug just wasn’t sufficient.

“This is – this is all a bunch o’ horseapples!” Applejack spat venomously. “What idiot in their right mind puts somepony in a life or death tournament and then makes death a punishment for not wantin’ to compete? What if ya got injured or realized that ya’ll were out o’ yer league?”

Though normally the competitive thrill seeker, Rainbow Dash was right beside her earth pony friend, ready to summon a hurricane with pure fury. “Stupid doesn’t even begin to describe it! Hay, I do crazy stunts, but I know when to say no! This isn’t a test of skill, it’s a lose-lose scenario for you!”

Twilight, meanwhile, was in full problem solving mode, furiously wracking her brain in search of any information she might have about magical contracts and their penalties. Maybe, just maybe, Equestrian magical contracts had a way out.

If she could use that knowledge and somehow apply it to Harry’s situation, she just might be able to find a way to break it without harming him.

But it was rather hard to concentrate when two of her most vocal friends were in the midst of a rather heated rant against certain members of Harry’s species, one that involved a form of yoga that, Twilight was quite sure, would essentially turn their spines into pretzels.

Rainbow and Applejack could get quite creative when angry.

“Enough!” She barked, rubbing her temples with her hooves to fight off her oncoming headache. As cathartic as beating the idiots who organized this to a paste might seem, it wasn’t helping with the current problem. Turning her focus to the boy being cuddled by three mares, Twilight tried to take a more practical approach to the issue. “This contract you mentioned, is it possible that you could avoid its effects by staying here?”

Harry turned his head as best he could to look at Twilight, and shook his head in the negative. “I’m not sure, but I don’t really want to risk it. I mean, if I could come here on my own, it’s possible that the Goblet could use the same pathway or just make another.”

“What about ways to break the contract itself? Did you ask anypony in charge if there was a way out in your case?”

“Yes, that was actually the first thing I did after doing everything but swear a magical oath that I didn’t enter my name. The Ministry official, Barty Crouch was his name, said that there was no way. My school headmaster – who is arguably the most powerful wizard alive – even seemed to think so, he was more focused on finding whoever entered my name. He seems concerned with their motive for doing so.”

“A wise move,” Celestia interjected. “But that does nothing to solve the problem at hoof: you’ve been entered unwillingly into a tournament, there should be steps available for you to remove yourself from competition without fear of consequence.”

Luna nodded in agreement. “Indeed. We find it most troubling that one might be forced into an agreement without consent in thy world, young Harry.”

“There has to be a way out,” Twilight insisted. “Magic, at least in Equestria, is based heavily on intent; you didn’t intend for your name to be entered, so somepony writing your name on a scrap of parchment shouldn’t bind to you.”

Spike, having stayed quiet since throwing in a bit of teasing, chose to add in a bit of what he knew from years of being Twilight’s assistant. “The intent is verifiable magical theory, and I’m pretty sure we’ve read about contracts somewhere, Twilight.”

“Thanks, Spike. If you could, try to find some of those books, I’m going to need to refresh my memory on the properties of magical contracts,” Spike snapped a mock salute and ran over to the bookshelf, scouring the titles for anything that might contain information on their goal. “Contracts like that haven’t been used for centuries in Equestria, but, based on what we’ve seen of your magic, I should be able to apply some of the same theory.”

“If you could, that would be brilliant,” Harry said. “As far as the thing you mentioned about someone else writing my name down, the person could’ve used a class assignment to get my written name. All they would’ve had to do was make a copy and take the original, tear off the name and drop it in.”

“I doubt that would satisfy the intent need, but I won’t discount it until I read up. This is going to make it even more important to get you home, Harry. I’m probably going to need some books from your world on the subject, just to be safe.” He nodded in reply; very appreciative of the fact that she was treating this with the utmost care and importance. But, Twilight wasn’t done. “Also, some books on defensive and combat magic, bring those too.”

That drew a raised eyebrow from the young wizard. “Err, this might sound stupid of me; but why?”

“Because,” she began, her expression turning grim and determined. “If I can’t find a way to get you out of the contract, then I’m going to make sure you have everything you need to make it through each of the tasks alive.”

The Setup

The sound of a certain pegasus and dragon cackling as they fled only served to anger Harry more as he sprinted after them, shouting threats and promises of pain and humiliation at the duo as he weaved through the Ponyville Square, dodging ponies, stands and crates in his quest to exact vengeance.

The shaving cream trick? Fine, all fun and games. It was a nice beginner’s level trick, the product of the mind of a juvenile drake. That he could deal with. But the added cold shower, courtesy of Rainbow Dash and a cloud was most definitely not cool!

When Harry caught the two of them, ooooh there would be much suffering!

In most towns, both human and equine, this might have been annoying, but to the locals, it was just another bit of their own special brand of craziness that made Ponyville, well, Ponyville.

“Better run, Spike!” Vinyl called through her laughter. “The big guy’s on your tail!”

“Watch out, Rainbow! He’s got that magic stick out!” Flitter and Cloud Chaser warned their Weather Team captain.

“Go Harry!” Derpy paused her devouring of Sugarcube Corner’s muffins to cheer from her seat next to the Doctor, who seemed torn between amusement and getting into the chase himself.

The reasons for this scene didn’t matter; it was something to break the normality of the morning, to get the town going. So, ponies laughed and picked sides, some even making wagers on whether or not the newcomer would be able to catch the temporary draco-pegasus alliance.

Harry lunged for the little drake, who swiftly ducked and rolled out of the way, changing direction quicker than the much larger human could follow. The teen crashed into the flower stall, wincing in pain and grumbling an apology to the startled mare – Roseluck, if he remembered correctly – before raising his wand and taking aim at Spike.

“Tarentallegra!” He growled, flicking a bolt of magic at the dragon’s back, smirking as Spike let out a yelp of surprise as his legs began dancing a furious jig on their own accord.

The tiny drake tried to bring his limbs under control, but to no avail! “What the – Woah! – what the hay did you do to me?”

“You seemed so pleased with yourself, I just thought you might like to do a little dance,” Harry quipped as he strode by the panting dragon, nimbly stepping out of the way of an angry swipe of those tiny claws and flicking one of the fins on his head. “Really, Spike, I thought Twilight taught you better than to claw at someone like that!” He teased, thoroughly enjoying the first part of his revenge.

“I’ll – Ack! – Get you for this!”

His threats only made Harry laugh harder, much to the young drake’s irritation. “Maybe, but for now, I have to take care of Rainbow Dash next!” Just as he finished, Harry ducked as Ponyville’s speed demon went flying over his head.

“HA! I’d pay to see that!” Dash taunted as she banked and readied herself for another run at her fuzzy-topped victim. She hovered in place, reveling in the thrill of the fight, her blood pumping as she watched the young wizard level his wand at her. “C’mon, fuzzy! Bring it!”

Harry was many things, but stupid wasn’t one of them. Rainbow could avoid his spells as long as she wanted, hell she could just toy with him until she got bored or he tired out. In short, he was on a time limit; he needed to make her come to him.

Fortunately, if there was one thing he’d learned about Rainbow Dash, it was that she couldn’t back down from a challenge, no matter how foolish or juvenile it might be.

Or whether she’d actually been challenged to begin with…

“Pretty big talk for a pony whose waaaay over there!” He teased, giving a look of disappointment. “Looks to me like you’re scared to come over and actually do something, Dash.”

Rainbow sputtered indignantly. “I’m not scared!” She cried pointing a hoof at him. “I’ll come over there, knock that wand away and tie you up like a fuzzy-topped pretzel!”

“I hear an awful lot of talking, but not a lot of doing!” He shot back, knowing that the over competitive mare was rapidly nearing her breaking point.

“I’m warning you –“

“Unless, of course, you’re chicken.” Everything in the square came to an immediate halt, as ponies gawked at the smirking human. Almost in unison, the townsponies came to a silent conclusion, which Vinyl managed to sum up quite nicely:

“Oh, sweet Celestia, he’s dead.”

The reaction wasn’t immediate; it took Rainbow’s brain a moment or two to actually process the fact that those words had actually passed Harry’s lips. Her wings twitched in agitation, her ears pinned back and her grin melted into a snarl.

With a roar of righteous fury, Rainbow shot at him, leaving a multi-colored trail behind her as she aimed to teach a certain upstart human a lesson he’d not soon forget. In her anger, she wasn’t paying swerving or dipping, instead opting for a direct path, hooves outstretched as she aimed to tackle him in the chest.

Just as Harry knew she would.

Smirking, our favorite raven-haired wizard fired off a body-bind spell, a taunt on his lips as he prepared to gloat over his fallen adversary and speculate over what humiliation to bring upon her.

Of course, that was the plan, but Harry had forgotten one rather important bit of information about Rainbow Dash…

Which he realized just as she easily adjusted her flight pattern so his spell went just over her shoulder, without missing a wing beat or losing speed.

… She was a stunt flyer; near-impossible acrobatic feats were kind of her thing.

Harry gulped, realizing that he’d just made a grave error, and began rapidly firing off a random series of spells: body-binds, incarceration spells, tickling charms, stunners, even a minor color changing charm! Anything that might throw her off balance or distract the oncoming cyan bullet long enough for him to turn and leg it as if Satan himself were on his tail.

Actually, one could argue that an enraged Rainbow Dash fit the bill quite nicely…

Nothing was working! She was too adept at dodging the brightly colored bursts of magic, likely a result of fleeing after pranking Twilight and Rarity. What he needed was something that she forced her to take it on the muzzle or dodge and ruin her pattern. Something like that big force field Rarity had thrown up to protect him yesterday!

Unfortunately, Harry’s arsenal was rather lacking in the “wide area” category. Well, unless he overpowered an Aguamenti charm and sprayed her down. Hmm, now there was an idea with merit: improvise, escape and enjoy a bit of revenge against the very mare who’d given him a wakeup call with a rain cloud.

Yeah, that was definitely happening!

With a wicked grin, Harry flicked his wand at the oncoming mare and shouted. “Aguamenti!” Releasing a powerful jet of water aimed at Rainbow’s face.

“What the –“ It was enough to break through Rainbow’s enraged state, which gave way to shock as she sped towards the rushing water. She hesitated a moment before she finally realized that she had to pull up or be thrown back and fully drenched!

That split-second hesitation was all it took for her clean getaway to an all-to-familiar sight for the citizens of Ponyville… and Harry, for that matter.

While she managed to avoid the full force of the water jet, it did manage to clip her front hooves, sending her tumbling through the air!

At this point, Harry realized that he’d made yet another error in judgment: yes, his oh-so-brilliant plan to avoid being broken in half by Rainbow Dash, but he made the mistake of ignoring certain laws of physics. Specifically, he had forgotten about Sir Isaac Newton, your friend and mine.

Since an object in motion stays in motion unless met with equal and opposite force, Rainbow Dash was still hurdling through the air. Granted, wind resistance and the force of the water that had clipped her served to slow her down, but neither were enough to change the direction she was travelling.

The result of this lapse of judgment and gross underestimating of Newton’s Laws – along with his ignorance that only a certain party pony got to ignore Sir Isaac – was made plainly clear to Harry when he was suddenly met with a rather wet mare’s head hitting him in the chest, driving the wind out of him and sending the duo tumbling through the street for the second time since their initial meeting.

“Ooooh, Celestia and Luna, my head!”

“Bloody Merlin’s beard, that hurt!”

Human and pony groaned in pain, pushing themselves up into seated positions and untangling as their bodies made their objections known.

“Damn, you alright, Dash?” Harry wheezed, struggling to get his breath back.

The mare shook her head to clear the cobwebs, turning to look at the blurry form of her bipedal friend. “Ugh, yeah, I’m good, dude. Soaked and feeling like I just tried to headbutt a tree, but good. How’s your ribs?”

“Curved in and touching my spine, I think.”

“Heh, yeah, that was stupid of –“ Rainbow trailed off, her gaze locked on something a few feet to Harry’s right.

The boy fixed her with a quizzical look, turning his head to see what had drawn the daredevil’s attention. What he saw nearly stopped his heart.

His wand. The collision had knocked his wand out of his hand, leaving it in the dirt just a few feet away from where he sat.

Harry slowly turned back to Dash, beginning to sweat. A wicked grin seemed to split her muzzle. He’d never make it to his wand; Rainbow was still practically on top of him, easily within range to pounce on him and pin his limbs so she could enact vengeance of her choice.

And, if tradition held, Harry had a distinct feeling that those pegasus wings would be used for Rainbow’s preferred torture method.

Chuckling nervously, the wizard edged himself back, trying to create a bit of distance between himself and his winged tormentor. With each shift backwards, Rainbow took a step forward, looming over him with a predatory grin and wings flared out, making herself seem bigger and more threatening.

The pegasus narrowed her eyes, taking great pleasure in drawing this out as long as possible. After all, what good was a bit of payback if she didn’t have a little fun with it? “So, what was that you called me, Harry?” She hummed, feigning ignorance. “I could’ve sworn I heard you say something about me being a chicken.”

“N-No! Never!” Harry stammered, blatantly lying in hopes that he’d think of something to help him get away. “Really, why ever would I say that?”

“Hmmm, not sure. I mean you’d have to have a death wish if you said that about me. Am I right?” Another shift back, another step forward.

The boy nodded furiously. “Oh, definitely, whoever said that must’ve been… well, I can’t even begin to describe it! Good thing it wasn’t me!”

“I dunno,” she said, bringing a hoof to her chin in a mock thinking pose. “It sounded an awful lot like your voice; even had that funny accent of yours.” Rainbow suppressed an evil cackle as the retreating human’s face took on an expression that seemed to be a cross between indignation and horror. Celestia’s feathers, he really was too fun to wind up! “You say it wasn’t you, but I think it was. So how’re we gonna settle this?”

She was definitely milking this for all it was worth, but could anypony really blame her at this point?

Harry was, of course, in a place he’d most certainly rather not be! Disarmed and at the mercy of the quick-hooved (and winged, for that matter) Rainbow Dash wasn’t about to work out in his favor.

Sure, Wood made the Gryffindor Quidditch team run a couple of laps to warm up at practice, but the majority of their exercises were more strategic and took place in the air.

That being said, wrestling with Rainbow Dash, a mare as rough-and-tumble athletic as you could possibly get, was just a bit out of his depth. If he tried, she’d pin him just as fast as he could cast a spell. And if she pinned him…

Yeah, there was no doubt what she’d do once she had him at her mercy. Wrestling Rainbow wasn’t exactly fair when she had two certain feathery advantages on him.

What Harry needed was a distraction! Something to catch her eye and draw her attention long enough for him to slip away, or at least make a run for his wand. It didn’t take an alchemist to figure out that Rainbow’s attention was constantly drawn to whatever she deemed ‘cool’ or ‘radical’ or whatever her word choice for the day was!

The problem was finding something that was superior in ‘coolness’ to tormenting him!

So far, there wasn’t much around to help in that regard. Just Spike, who’d now fallen over and was trying to get his flailing legs under control, a few snickering ponies and…

“PONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY –“

Emerald eyes met cerise, this time giving matching confused looks. “Does that sound –“ Harry began.

“-Like Pinkie? Yeah, but – OOF!” Rainbow’s legs suddenly buckled as additional weight on her back drove her forehead into his stomach, sending the air rushing out of his lungs!

“- PILE!” The aforementioned party pony shook with laughter as she pinned her victims beneath her, ignoring her rainbow-maned friend’s muffled curses. “That was fun! Let’s do it again! Let’s do it again!”

“Please, no!” Harry wheezed, desperately gasping for air. “I think you’ve crushed my ribs!”

“Aww, don’t be such a little colt, Harry! And, hey! Didn’t Rainbow teach you not to make fun of a mare’s weight?”

Oh, great.

“Yfff! Teshh ‘um uh refffle, Rikle!” Rainbow said through a mouthful of Harry’s shirt.

“What’s that, Dashie?”

“Blegh! I said ‘Yeah! Teach him a lesson, Pinkie!’”

“Oh! Okay!” Pinkie cheered, but stopped short, bringing a hoof to her chin in thought. “Hmmm, but if I do that, it’d be like a running gag, and if that kept going, it would be like we were falling into a rut! And if there’s one thing that Pinkamena Diane Pie does not like, it’s ruts!”

Understandably perplexed, Harry and Rainbow shared a look. “So….”

“There’s only one way to solve this!” The incomprehensible pony declared as she reached into her mane and began rooting around for something. Just as her captive audience was ready to question her, Pinkie pulled her hoof from her mane, revealing a bucket filled with brightly colored water balloons.

“Oh, hay no!” Rainbow groaned, furiously trying to get out from in between her friends.

Pinkie cackled. “Ohoho, yes, Dashie! You’re gonna get extra super wet for leaving me out of a prank this morning!”

“Hey!” That was why she was gonna soak Dash? Hardly an objective third party, if you asked Harry.

“Sorry, Harry-berry, but them’s the breaks!”

Pinkie’s chatter was cut off by a rather irritated sounding “Ahem” courtesy of Applejack, who cantered towards the pile of limbs with a look of exasperation on her muzzle. “Ah’m gonna have ta ask that ya hold off on that, Pinkie,” she drawled, ignoring the groan of disappointment from the mare. Instead, Applejack turned her gaze on her daredevil friend and snorted. “Ya were supposed ta bring him ta Sweet Apple Acres, ya dolt! Not lead him on a chase ‘round the town!”

“I was gonna bring him… eventually,” she looked a bit sheepish as she admitted the last portion, earning an eye roll from the country pony. “Hey! He’s the one who started chasing me and Spike around after we gave him a wake up call!”

Harry, having managed to free one of his arms from the tangle of limbs, flicked her ear in protest. “You two put shaving cream in my face and dumped rainwater on me!”

“Ha! Yeah, and you screamed like a little filly!”

“I missed that? Ooooh, Dashie, you’re really gonna get it this time! I’ll dye your mane neon pink! I’ll tell Rarity that you wanna model for her! I’ll make up a really silly song about you!”

As comical as Pinkie’s threats sounded, Harry noticed that Rainbow’s efforts to escape grew more frantic with each one, an expression of utter mortification crossing her face. So she didn’t like anything pink or girly and hated silly songs about her? Well, he’d just have to file that away for later.

Reluctantly, Pinkie got off of them, grumbling about missed pranks and things that rhymed with “Rainbow,” finally allowing Harry and Rainbow to untangle and stand up again.

Though she didn’t seem ready to tackle him again, Harry kept his eye on the prismatic mare as he retrieved his wand, ready to fire off a tickling charm or a body bind spell if she tried.

No hint of movement so far, Rainbow was too busy trying to beg Pinkie not to make songs about her, offering nearly anything to be spared the utter humiliation of something “so completely uncool” involving her name.

Good. Now, just sneak over and –

“HARRY! FOR THE LOVE OF CELESTIA, MAKE IT STOOOOOP!”

Damn it, Spike. Harry turned to give a sarcastic ‘thanks’ for blowing his cover, but his glare turned to a wince of sympathy.

The poor drake had fallen on his back, legs still kicking in the air, looking as though he’d just been forced to run a mile while carrying a load of bricks through the desert. Sweat poured down his scales as he frantically tried to pin his own legs to the ground, but to no avail.

“Oh, bollocks! Sorry! Sorry!” Mentally slapping himself, Harry snatched his wand and quickly ended the jinx. Immediately, Spike’s legs stopped kicking and fell limply to the ground as the tiny dragon gasped for breath. Harry rushed over and knelt down next to him, and was quickly joined by the trio of mares. “Didn’t mean for you to be stuck under that for so long,” he apologized.

“’m…. fine…” Came the gasping reply, coupled with an exhausted glare through jade green eyes. “Gonna get you for that.”

“Hey! I said I was sorry! I didn’t exactly plan for this to happen!”

“Still gonna get you. Somehow. Once I figure it out,” Slowly, Spike pushed himself up, wincing slightly as his leg muscles seemed to scream in protest with every movement. “And now, I get to help Twilight tear the library apart to look for anything on magical contracts. I so blame you for this!”

Though relieved that the young dragon wasn’t too irritated, judging by his wisecracking, Harry rolled his eyes. “Yes, because I asked to enter the tournament and set my alarm clock to shaving cream and rain cloud.”

“Wow! Your clock has that setting too?” Four heads turned to give Pinkie the blankest of expressions. “What?”

“Never mind.” Some questions were best left unanswered.

Spike turned on his heel and marched away, shaking his head. “Yeah, that’s my cue to leave. See you at dinner, Harry! Well, if you can walk by the time they’re done with you!”

“Yeah, bye – wait, what?” The drake’s wicked grin gave Harry some pause as he considered the implications, his brain slowly putting together the puzzle pieces.

From Applejack’s irritation that they hadn’t brought him by the farm, to Rainbow’s admittance that she’d deviated – slightly – from the plan, and now to Spike’s rather thinly veiled hint, Harry’s equine friends had something in the works for him.

And if the looks Applejack and Rainbow were giving him were any indication…

“So… what exactly are we doing again?”

Their matching smirks were anything but reassuring.

---

And those smirks had persisted, even after Applejack and Rainbow Dash had lead him through the entrance to Sweet Apple Acres, across the field and towards the barn; if anything, those smirks had bypassed wicked, skipped over evil, and gone straight to “Run, stupid, run” territory.

To make matters worse, no matter how much he pestered them, no matter how much he pled with them to just come out and say what they had in mind for him, neither had budged.

That Applejack’s little facial ticks and Rainbow’s typical gloating were both absent, spoke volumes for just what they had planned for him. They had this thought out and were resolute.

Harry would have literally no idea what hit him right up until they set him on whatever course or gave him some sort of crazy workout and said “Have fun.”

As Fred and George might say, he was “well and truly buggered.”

“Come on, girls!” Okay, so perhaps he hadn’t quite resigned himself to his fate. Harry, having realized that he was rapidly approaching his inevitable doom with every step towards the barn, decided that there was no shame in begging like a child wanting sweets.

“Do ya always whine when somepony keeps a secret?”

“I’m not whining!” He refuted, only to be met with dual deadpan expressions.

“Dude, I’ve gone on record calling Rarity the champion whiner of Ponyville,” Dash began. “But, right now, I’d say you’re taking a shot at the title.”

To Harry’s growing indignation, Applejack nodded in agreement. “Ah second that motion and move that we bring this up at next meetin’.”

“Motion carries, Miss Apple.”

“You two are hilarious. Real comedians, the pair of you. Now, seriously, what have you got planned?”

“Ain’t nopony ever told ya that patience is a virtue, colt?” Applejack replied sternly. Ignoring the sputtering human, she opened the barn door and slipped inside. “Rainbow, get in here and gimme a hoof with this!”

“Yeah, yeah, keep your hat on, cowpony!”

Harry felt a weight lifted off his shoulders; helping out at the barn? That was a relief. What? They thought he couldn’t handle a bit of manual labor? Please.

Shaking his head, he made to step inside, but a cyan wing stopped barred his entry. “Nuh-uh, dude. You wait out here.” Rainbow ordered. “We’ve got something set up for you, but it needs one or two finishing touches. We’ll be done in a minute.”

So much for relief. “Is all this secrecy really necessary? I mean, really!”

“Fuzzy, just wait here and try not to have a mental breakdown, ‘kay?”

The wizard stammered, struggling to come up with an appropriate retort as Rainbow kicked the barn door shut, leaving him outside in the middle of unfamiliar territory.

Sure, this was Applejack’s land, or so he presumed, but it wasn’t like he’d been here before. He could hardly go wandering off to look for something to occupy himself while the mares put together their whatever-it-was. All he could really do at this point was stare at the Apple family’s pride and joy, the well-kept fields and seemingly endless rows of apple trees of Sweet Apple Acres.

Having met only Applejack and Apple Bloom, Harry had to wonder just how many other ponies it took to keep the farm looking so, well, picturesque. If farming on Earth was any indication, then, without the use of tractors or other machinery, surely there were several ponies responsible for its upkeep.

The sound of someone clearing their throat drew Harry’s attention; turning to face the newcomer with a comment that Applejack was in the barn if they were looking on his lips, his voice died when he was met with the solid red, muscular chest of a rather large pony.

Large? Who was he kidding? This guy was huge!

Harry had met Bulk Biceps, and frankly, there was such a thing as too large. Almost unnaturally so, but this guy seemed more… natural. Just that hard work and genetics had made it so that this particular stallion, with his coat the same shade of red as a double decker bus and his mane a dirty blond, stood at nearly a head and a half taller than the messy-haired wizard and looked down on him with an almost bored expression.

Just as Harry had concluded upon meeting the ridiculously fit pegasus at Pinkie’s party, there were varying degrees of “big.” Bulk Biceps and this farmpony definitely fell into the category “way too bloody big!”

Well, at least he wasn’t outright glaring.

“Uh… hi.” Again, smooth.

“Howdy.” The stallion drawled in a rather thick southern accent. Harry expected him to say more, something like ‘what the hay are you doing on my farm’ or ‘get the hay off of my farm,’ but instead, the two fell into silence, two sets of green eyes locked on one another, trying to figure out what to make of their owners through staring.

“So…” Think of something, stupid. Preferably before he decides that he wants you gone! “You work here?”

“Eeyup.” No change of expression, just the same deadpan stare.

“Oh, um, very nice…. You like it?”

“Eeyup.”

“Oh, good! That’s, uh, great. Really.” Seriously, would it kill him to say more than one word? “So… You’re looking for Applejack, then?”

“Nnope.”

“Er… the barn, then?”

“Eeyup.” Despite the affirmative reply, the stallion made no move to walk around nor did he order Harry to stand to the side and out of his way.

He just stared. He just stared blankly, giving nothing away. No tell of anger or confusion, no hint of recognition, just that same emotionless stare.

This… was incredibly awkward. But, judging by the pattern of Harry’s life, it wasn’t about to change.

“So… should I move?”

The stallion shrugged nonchalantly. “Nnope.”

Perhaps it was a flight of fancy, perhaps it was due to a bit of irritation at the stallion’s single-word answers, but Harry decided that he was going to get this blasted pony to speak more than one word at a time if it bloody killed him.

“You’re sure?”

“Eeyup.”

“Positive?”

“Eeyup.”

“So, I’m not in the way?”

“Nnope.”

“I don’t have to leave?”

“Nnope.”

“You’re not bothered by me?”

“Nnope.”

Fed up with his continued failure, Harry snapped. “Why the bloody hell not?”

In hindsight, he really shouldn’t have even considered going this route. He should’ve just expected this blasé “meh” reaction from the farmpony, given that he’d experienced varieties of the same reaction from most of the town, but something about this pony rubbed him the wrong way.

Actually, no, it wasn’t something, he knew exactly what it was: this stallion just seemed to, quite honestly, not give the slightest hint of a damn.

Everypony else at least seemed surprised, or at least mildly interested, in his appearance. And who wouldn’t? He was, for all intents and purposes, completely new to this world!

Granted, the Princesses had informed him that humans walked the planet millennia ago, and had since faded into some very obscure legends, but still…

Either this pony was just plain apathetic or –

“Why should Ah?” So stunned was Harry by those two extra words, that he nearly choked on air. Now, he was the one left gaping at this mountain of a stallion, trying to make heads or tails of things. Fortunately, the farmer wasn’t done speaking. “Bloom likes ya, AJ likes ya. Ain’t nopony in town tellin’ tales of ya bein’ a menace. So why spend mah time worryin’ about a colt lost in the world when Ah got fields to work, apples ta buck and a family ta provide fer? Ya ain’t causin’ no problems that Ah’ve heard ‘bout, so we got no problems.”

Or that. That works too.

So much for the ‘apathetic, simple farmer’ who couldn’t be bothered to give a damn; instead, it was Harry who wound up, once again, with egg on his face.

With a sigh, Harry ran a hand through his hair and tried to think of something to reply with that didn’t make him out to be either a complete and utter ponce or a dimwit. At the moment, his prospects weren’t looking good.

“I really shouldn’t even be surprised anymore.” He settled on just admitting that he’d bolloxed it up and taking his lumps. Not like he could do worse, right?

Tempting fate though…

The stallion just shrugged. “AJ told Granny ‘n Ah some o’ what ya deal wit’ back home. Ain’t much o’ a surprise that ya start expectin’ everypony ta think the worst o’ ya when ya meet ‘em.”

Harry snorted, nodding nonetheless. So his first impression of this stallion was off, for once, that had turned out well for him. While the general reception to his presence had been positive, most of the townsponies had been rather… offended when he grudgingly admitted that he half expected to be run out of Ponyville with pitchforks on his first day.

This stallion, Harry didn’t recall meeting him at the party. Though, if his demeanor was anything to go by, he seemed even less likely to get out and socialize than Harry, himself.

And that was saying quite a bit.

As much as he had been relieved to find a general attitude of acceptance in Ponyville, it was still nice to have at least one pony who looked at his sudden arrival and took it with a grain of salt; as long as Harry didn’t interfere with the farm work or cause trouble, he wasn’t a problem to this massive pony. He was simple and blunt.

In short, he was Harry’s kind of guy… err, stallion. Heck, he already had Spike to mess around with, but now he had someone – somepony, damn it! – who seemed more level-headed.

The boy’s ruminations were cut short by a hoof on his shoulder. “Got it!” Applejack said with a grin, pausing a beat to look between stallion and Harry. A silent nod from the stallion seemed to make her grin widen. “Seems ya met mah brother, Big Macintosh, already!”

Big Macintosh? Harry looked him up and down. That definitely suits him. “Yeah. I’ve had the, uh, pleasure.”

“Eeyup.” Big Macintosh added with a single nod. “Jus’ call me ‘Big Mac.’ Everypony does.”

“Oh, err, right! Well, then, pleased to meet you, err, Big Mac,” Harry replied, sticking out his hand instinctively. “I’m Harry. Harry Potter.”

As he finished, Harry grimaced and readied to retract his hand, but Mac lifted a hoof and, inexplicably, gripped him, giving him a firm handshake.

How in the bloody hell? Never mind. He’d ask later. Like, when his brain didn’t feel like it had just been put through a blender.

“Ah’ve heard ‘bout ya.” Mac said. “Bloom ‘n her friends ain’t stopped talkin ‘bout ya since they met ya. Figure ya must be nice ‘nuff if they like ya.”

Harry couldn’t help but grin at the mention of the infamous Cutie Mark Crusaders, the rather excitable trio of fillies who, along with Pinkie Pie, had launched into a barrage of questions at the party.

Had it been anyone – or anypony – else, he might have considered it a bit intrusive, but they were so innocent and sincere that it was near impossible to refuse them anything.

And when they broke out that kicked puppy stare… Ooh, that was playing dirty and they knew it! They already had him wrapped around their hooves but through liberal use of that look, he was given no choice but to concede to their demands or face cardiac arrest.

Pinkie wasn’t quite as effective with the look, but Harry suspected that was only because she was older and tended to over exaggerate her pout.

Mind you, it wasn’t that it still didn’t work. He could just resist slightly longer before his heart gave out.

“No kidding!” Rainbow threw in as the approached, carrying what looked to be a jury-rigged pair of messenger bags and a small, white poster board. “Scoots was so excited she wouldn’t stop buzzing till I got her home that night! Still hasn’t, from what her parents tell me!”

“Sounds about right.” Harry said, pausing to gesture to her burden. “So, what’s all this, then?”

“Glad you asked, scruffy! Hold still!” Before he could move, the pegasus slapped the poster board on his chest. Harry expected it to just fall to the ground, but to his surprise, it stuck fast!

“What the –“

“Twi put a stickin’ spell on it, Sugarcube. She might be busyin’ herself tearin’ apart the library, but that don’t mean she wasn’t gonna help get ya ready for that crazy tournament of yers.” She said, tapping the bags with a hoof. “Rarity managed ta rig these saddlebags to fit over yer shoulder like a mailpony’s bag, since ya can’t wear it over yer back like us.”

“That’s great, but what’s the point of a blank poster?”

Big Mac opened his mouth to speak, but two sharp jabs to his side, courtesy of Rainbow and AJ, kept him quiet. “Oh, don’t worry about that.” Rainbow said, feigning innocence. “Just wear those and walk through town. Oh, and you’re not supposed to let anypony take what’s in the bags! The object is to keep them safe as long as possible, but no invisibility spells, no tricky ‘don’t notice me’ charms, none of that. Just running and whatever little tricks you can think of, as long as you don’t hurt anypony.”

Harry raised an eyebrow, regarding the mares with a calculating stare.  They were being a bit too vague with this. Why in the hell would they be giving him those instructions? It wasn’t like the townsponies went around jumping random pedestrians. Right?

“So, what’s in the bag?”

“Never ya mind.” Applejack replied smoothly. “Yew just concern yerself with keepin’ the contents safe fer,” she paused, sharing a look with her pegasus friend. “How ‘bout we say a half hour?”

“Eh, works for me. What do ya say, fuzzy?”

He narrowed his eyes challengingly. “I say you’re both being far too secretive for my tastes. You brought me all the way out here to ‘train,’ but now you’ve just slapped a sign and some bags on me and told me to walk through town and protect them. It doesn’t quite add up.”

“Oh, it’ll all make sense soon enough, trust me on that.” Rainbow answered with her signature cocky smirk. “Unless, of course…”

“What?”

“Well, it just seems to me that, for a fuzzy-topped human who carries a magical stick around, you’re awful antsy about this little challenge…”

“Rainbow Dash,” he began warningly. “I know what you’re trying to do. It’s not going to work.”

“That so? What do you think AJ? Mac?”

Applejack gave a theatric hum, tapping her chin with a hoof and looking off as if pondering the question. “Ah’m gonna have ta go with Rainbow on this, Harry. Yer bein’ pretty skittish.” As she finished, she fixed her brother with a meaningful look and quirked a brow.

Big Mac, for his part, was no fool. He knew exactly what his sister and her merry band of friends had planned. Hay, she came home last night, seething over what she’d learned about Ponyville’s resident human. It took Granny and he hours to calm her down.

With that in mind, he knew what he had to do. There was only one thing to say. And it could be delivered, only with the bluntness and solemn tone worthy of an Apple:

“Eeyup.”  Truly, Big Macintosh Apple had the mind of a philosopher.

The young wizard’s irritation was easily evident; ridiculous, they were being completely and totally ridiculous. And now they were calling him skittish?

“Listen, you lot, I’ve been called many things; some of them true, some not. However, back home, no one has the gall to call me –“

“A chicken?” Rainbow Dash interrupted with a grin, throwing his earlier taunt right back in his face.

Harry’s fingers twitched, as if tightening around his wand. “Rainbow…” he began, his voice strained as he grit his teeth.

Picking up on his cues, the prismatic mare stepped up her taunting. She pawed at the ground, flapping her wings and bobbing her head like a bird as she began to cluck, earning snorts of laughter from the Apple siblings and a heated glare from her fuzzy-topped friend.

Oh, that did it!

“Fine!” He snapped, spinning on his heel and marching off towards Ponyville. “I’ll play your stupid game! Once I’m done, I’ll make Pinkie’s day and turn you both neon pink!”

“Lookin’ forward to it, fuzzball!” Rainbow cackled, stomping her hoof into the ground.

As the trio of ponies watched Harry leave, grumbling all the way, Big Mac turned his half-lidded gaze on the two grinning mares. Well, AJ was grinning. Rainbow Dash was cackling like the Mayor Mare on Nightmare Night.

He just stared a moment, waiting for both Harry to get out of earshot and for inspiration to come and help him verbalize the question that had been on his mind since the Weather Team Captain had stuck that sign on Harry’s chest…

“Why did y’all make that colt walk inta town wearin’ a sign that said ‘Free Apple Cider’?” Mac’s confusion doubled when his sister joined her friend in laughing, shaking her head so hard her hat nearly fell off.

If there was a joke, the big red farmpony certainly wasn’t getting it. So, what? It was just a sign. The townsponies would figure out that he didn’t actually have any cider when they put two and two together and realized that the resident human was carrying saddlebags, not pulling a cart or bringing barrels into town.

So… If that was their “master plan,” it was going to play out just as well as any other time Applejack tried to bet him: namely, with her cursing until she was blue in the face, and Mac maintaining his stoic expression as he inwardly roared with laughter and readied to collect his winnings. Just substitute Harry in for him.

“Uh, AJ…”

“It don’t say nothin’ ‘bout cider.” Big Mac was sure he didn’t hear right. He’d seen the sign for himself, plain as the Cutie Mark on his flank! ‘Free Apple Cider’ was displayed prominently on the boy’s front as he walked towards Ponyville.

What in the name of the Royal Sisters were these two grinning mares up to?

As if on cue, Applejack leaned in and whispered in his ear. Mac’s half-lidded expression dropped, eyes widening as utter shock flashed across his face. His sister’s grin widened to near Pinkie Pie levels as her chromatic friend collapsed to the ground, kicking her hooves in the air as she gave way to laughter.

What in Tartarus?!

“Y’all are evil.” He said resolutely. “Pure evil, doin’ that to the colt.”

With his piece said, Big Macintosh Apple turned and trotted off, shaking his head as the mares’ laughter rang out behind him. He couldn’t help but pity the teenage wizard; the colt wouldn’t last too long based on what he’d just learned.

Especially if he ran into a few particular members of the community.

Nope, nope, nope! Big Mac wouldn’t trade places with Harry Potter for one moment, not with what the situation he would soon find himself into.

“Poor colt ain’t gonna know what hit ‘im.”

---  

Harry didn’t get it. He wasn’t stupid; Sure, he could be called slow on the uptake on certain matters, but, if given long enough, he could figure out for himself that someone – or, in this case, somepony – had managed to get one past him and was going to thoroughly enjoy watching him deal with the fallout.

He knew he should’ve stuck around and figured out what this damnable poster-board said, he knew it! But, instead, he let Applejack and Rainbow Dash wind him up and get him so irritated that he just stormed off towards town.

It wasn’t until a few minutes ago that he realized that he’d played right into their hooves.

The proverbial light bulb turned on right about the time when Roseluck dropped a basket of flowers in surprise, her eyes locked on the poster-board for a moment before she went galloping off to tell her friends with an excited grin on her face. That prickling sensation on the back of his neck, the feeling he got when he knew that he was in for a wild ride, started up right about the time when Bon Bon’s eyes zeroed in on his torso, her muzzle slowly splitting into a full-blown grin.

Nothing had happened to make him run or cast spells, as the mares implied when going over “the rules.” Harry snorted. Rules implied that there was a game. A game implied that there were players who were aware that they were a part of it.

Oh, sure. He fit into the “aware” category because he’d tacitly agreed to take part. But that was only in the most technical of technicalities.

Harry was quite certain that he could make a very strong case for his decision being made under duress, but that wouldn’t exactly help him now. This was not a public courthouse.

This was Ponyville, a town filled with friendly, but easily excitable ponies. A town full of excitable ponies who were still adjusting to the novelty of their newest inhabitant (Harry still got a question about life as a human here or there, or stammered apologies for referring to his hands as “claw-grabby things”), who now had even more of a reason to stare at Harry.

He could accept it when the staring was because he was a human. He could even accept, to a point, one or two more ponies mistaking his scar for a Cutie Mark – he bit his tongue and smiled reassuringly as he explained that it was most certainly not a Cutie Mark, despite how painful it was to talk about. This? This was just plain weird.

Okay, fine, so being stuck in a world inhabited by talking, pastel colored, magical ponies was odd, but this was weird even for Equestria!

A young pegasus colt with a grey coat and black mane, Rumble, if he remembered correctly, had met his eyes with a before turning and sharing a whisper with a couple of his friends – one a small, skinny pegasus colt with a tan coat named Featherweight, the other a tiny Earth pony colt with tan coat and a brown spot around his eye, aptly named Pipsqueak. Almost instantly, their attention was drawn to him and they were making their way over, with wide grins and twitching wings – a sign of excitement in pegasi, from what Rainbow had informed him. Something about “the thrill of the chase, fight or flight.”

There was something about their sudden interest in him that set off alarm bells in Harry’s head. Something vaguely familiar to him, but he just couldn’t put his finger on it.

He had to be imagining it. It wasn’t like he was actually in trouble, right?

“Mister Harry,” Rumble began, a poorly disguised grin on his muzzle as he tried desperately not to seem too excited. “Is it true?”

Ooh, boy. “Is what true?” The human asked hesitantly, nervously eying the trio of colts, who were looking at him just a bit too hungrily.

“The sign, o’ course!” Little Pip chimed in his thick Trottingham accent. “Says you’ve got free candy, it does!”

“Yeah!” Featherweight and Rumble cheered, jumping into the air and buzzing their wings furiously to hover near Harry’s chest level. “Free candy!”

“Is it from Sugarcube Corner?”

“Is it from Bon Bon’s?”

“Ooh, ooh! Did Miss Twilight send for some super special candy all the way from Canterlot!”

At Rumble’s suggestion, the trio paused a moment, each considering the possibilities that might come from special ordered candy, especially if Twilight Sparkle had commissioned it from one of her hometown confectionaries, and came to a unanimous conclusion.

“That –“

“ – Would –“

“ – Be –“

“ – AWESOME!” They finished in unison, exchanging quick hoofbumps, largely ignoring the rather confused human standing just a few feet away.

Note to self: forget neon pink. Those two will be speaking in rhymes for a week once I get out of this! Harry thought, fighting to keep a scowl off his face. Just as he thought, he’d been played. Fantastic. But his payback would have to wait for later.

Right now, he had a trio of overly excited foals to deal with. To be specific, a trio of overly excited foals in the middle of Ponyville Market where many colts and fillies were out with their families on their day off of school.

On this day, the odds were most certainly not in his favor.

“Free candy?”

“From Canterlot? I want some!”

“What kind?”

“Who cares? If they’re special order, they’ll be amazing, right?”

Oh, for the love of… “I, er, really have no clue what you’re talking about, foals.” Harry nervously cut in, backing away slowly as the crowd of foals began edging towards him. “Really, I don’t know anything about –“

“But you’re wearing a sign!” Rumble pointed out ‘helpfully’.

“Too right, you are!” Pip chipped in. “Me ol’ eyes aren’t lyin’, mate!”

Naturally, Featherweight wasn’t going to be left out. “Plus, it’s kinda bad if you’re walking through town with a sign like that and it turns out you’re lying. That’s, uh… my dad called it false adver-whatsits… adver… it’s bad, okay!”

“Ugh! It’s called ‘false advertisement,’ featherbrain!” A rather spoilt, pink coated filly, with a tiara sitting atop her pink and white mane, who was aptly called Diamond Tiara, threw in. “My daddy says that ponies who get caught for that get in a lot of trouble!”

Though Harry was quite certain that being tricked into wearing a sign didn’t qualify, he was well-versed in the nature of mob mentality, having seen his fellow students turn against him twice in four years. “Now, now! It’s not quite like that!” He protested vehemently. “I was given this to wear through town! I don’t even know what’s in the bags!”

“Then open them!” The filly replied simply, prompting cheers from the crowd of munchkin ponies.

Harry took another step back, trying to avoid being jostled and bumped by the excited foals. “Alright, alright! Don’t crowd!” He chided as he fumbled with the buttons. “I’ll have this bloody thing… open… in a…. what the hell is with these things?”

A spark of magenta light erupted about a foot away from his face, revealing a tightly bound scroll hovering before him, encased in Twilight Sparkle’s rather familiar aura. Quickly surveying his surroundings, Harry saw neither hide nor hair of the bookish mare. Which meant that she was either casting from the library, or she had put a delayed spell on the bags in case he tried to open them.

“Well, go on then!” Pip cried. “Read it! What’s it say?”

This doesn’t bode well. With a sigh of resignation, Harry began to read the mare’s neat, orderly writing.

Harry,

If you’re reading this, then you’ve tried to open the saddlebags. As you’ve likely figured out by now, I’ve placed a spell on them so you can’t open them. Only a pony who has read the sign can. Sorry, but the six of us felt that a mystery task like this would be a good preliminary test of your speed, endurance and ingenuity with magic. All of which will be of great help in the Tournament.

As stated, you are not to hurt anypony. You may use magic to hinder them or enable your escape, nothing more.

Naturally, if anypony does manage to open the bags, they receive a prize from us.

The girls and I will meet up with you when your time has expired or when the saddlebags are opened. Good luck!

Your faithful friend,

Twilight Sparkle

For a moment, Harry stood stock still, mouth working soundlessly as he struggled to verbalize his feelings. Grumbling, he gritted his teeth and inhaled sharply. “Well! You’ve got this all planned out, don’t you Sparkle!” Just as he made to ball up the note, he noticed a postscript just below the name:

P.S. Yes. I do. You might want to start running now!

Pip nudged him with a hoof excitedly. “Go on, mate! What’s it say?”

“Err…” Of all the times for Harry to struggle for a good excuse to get out of something, he just had to pick now! Actually, who was he kidding? He couldn’t lie worth a damn. Still, no harm in trying, right? “Well, err, Twilight wants me to come to the library and…. Err…. Bring the bags… For… Research?”

“Research?” Featherweight parroted.

“Yes, research. Research is definitely what she said!”

“Funny, it seemed more like you were asking us than telling us!” Silver Spoon pointed out.

Oh, great! They were having a moment of lucidity. Why did foals – and human children, for that matter – pick the most inopportune times to think logically?

And why did it just have to happen when the creative part of Harry’s brain seemed to have taken a vacation. “Well… it’s because – Hey! Rumble! Give that back!” The little grey pegasus had quickly darted forward and snatched the letter in his mouth, his patience with the stammering wizard coming to an abrupt end.

Rumble hoofed the letter over to Featherweight, allowing the lanky colt to quickly scan the letter. If not for the fact that the little colt’s quick reading had basically sealed Harry’s fate, he’d be impressed.

Then again, someone – somepony – had mentioned that Featherweight was the editor for the school newspaper, so he likely was used to quickly skimming short articles before going back and looking for mistakes.

Oh, bugger.

“So, let’s make this clear,” Harry unconsciously took a step back as Featherweight fixed him with a calculating look. “If we get those saddle bags open, we get a prize, and we’re basically helping you train?”

The wizard made to try and diffuse the situation, but froze as looks of determination and mischief flitted across the little ponies’ faces.

"Well, then," Featherweight balled up the letter and tossed it into a nearby trashcan. “Everypony: catch Harry!”

Needing no further prompt, Harry turned tail and ran, barely managing to avoid Pipsqueak’s diving attempt at his ankles.

Did he say he’d make Applejack and Rainbow speak in rhymes? Clearly, he needed to alter his revenge a bit and extend that to a certain scheming librarian as well.