Chapter 1

Connor Hebert lived in the land of Hyrule, and spent his days selling portraits in the Castle Town market. He made a living, that was sure enough, but as far as resting on easy street? -Not a chance. Connor, who had grown up far from parents and only had obligations to himself, lived within his means, and that meant drawing the vain people who passed by him every day. He always had to dress up the crowds he drew; to draw a picture of a customer as they actually looked was to ask for no payment. And payment meant food, and food meant another day in which to draw disgruntled patrons. A circular life, to be sure, and quite monotonous.

What Connor longed for he didn’t know; what kept him going was a mystery. He simply knew somewhere inside him that there would be something, someday, that would make the rest of the days worthwhile, and with this attitude, he went forth, and drew the ugly men and the fat women and smiled and made them handsome and thin.

Connor lived, in fact, on the outskirts of the Lost Woods, and made the journey to Castle Town each day. The rent was cheaper there, and besides, he liked the song that constantly played out of it. He almost never had visitors; although one day a small boy dressed in green had come in to break his pots and cut down his shrubbery. Connor hadn’t liked that, but he was too polite to say anything, and simply repeated the same thing whenever the boy talked to him. Eventually he left and went into the forest, and that was the last Connor had seen of him. Life went on.

Over time, however, Connor had come to realize the magnitude of the vector relating to the increase of the monster population in Hyrule. While he didn’t know what a vector was, he knew that it meant that the monsters were multiplying like crazy. Connor had no fear, and routinely battled monsters on his way to the market, picking up their rupees (and occasionally a skull or two), but things were getting to be too much. Then came the day when Hyrule castle separated from the land, and darkness reigned supreme.

This was a bad thing from Connor’s stance in life. Less and less people had been coming to the market, and he was getting hungrier and hungrier. He began to wonder what else he could do for food. However, the farmers were cruel and made him pay an exorbitant price for milk, and there was a constant battle for control of the ranch. The volcano kept exploding. Connor decided that instead of trying to buy food, he’d find it. The best place close to him was in the forest.

Connor hitched on his blade, a fairly strong L-2 white sword that had served him well. He added his adventure pouch, to carry mushrooms, and his wooden shield so he could bounce pebbles back at pesky talking shrubs, and set off into the forest.

He wasn’t in there often; he always ended up back at the beginning somehow, and was never sure which way to go. This time, though, he was just looking for mushrooms (and perhaps some small game), and so let his mind wander as he passed through the logs that divided the different sections of the forest. As he traveled, he added a few funguses to his pouch, but he would need more. He continued moving, wandering deeper. He had begun to follow the song, because he liked the melody of it. Soon he came to a large temple-like building, and decided to see what was inside it. Instead of food, perhaps, he’d find something he could hock for bread.

Lacking a hookshot, Connor had to climb the wall to the entrance, much like an assassin in a white hood. When he reached the top, he headed inside. Within, he found some pesky ghosts, but luckily, he remembered Ghostbuster’s number and they took care of the problem. That cut out about half of the temple, and when Connor finally reached the door at the end (he was hoping there was some sort of treasure inside) he found a teenager dressed in green sleeping next to the door. It looked like he was trying to regain health, but Connor wasn’t too concerned. (Come to think of it, he looked a lot like that little kid that had broken his family vase, except older…) What Connor noticed was the Big Key hanging from his belt. Looks like he won’t miss that, Connor thought.

After carefully unlocking the door, Connor watched with an open mouth as the lock mysteriously disappeared. Must be some great loot in here, he thought, if it’s protected by magic locks. Until he heard the laughter echoing the empty hall he had reached, and the strange man coming out of the painting toward him…

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When Connor had awoken, he had found himself lying face down in a patch of grass. He didn’t remember much about what had recently happened, besides hearing

“You are not He. You are of no use to me, and therefore have no reason to live- No!! Where are you sending him?”

After that, all Connor remembered was a blinding flash of light.

Connor didn’t know where he was, but the first thing to deal with was the fact that he was still hungry. Pushing up and maneuvering into a sitting position, he found that he still had his sword, shield, and pouch. He looked around to find himself in an orchard, with blue sky all around him and….

APPLE TREES! Connor’s stomach lurched expectantly. The apples all looked delicious, and Connor was just rising to pick a few dozen pouchfuls or so when he heard a voice from behind him.

“WHAT in tarnation’ ahr you?”

Connor froze. It hadn’t occurred to him that this orchard had belonged to someone. In fact, not much had occurred to him besides the need to eat. He turned slowly around, an apologetic smile already on his face, and his mouth dropped open.

Standing before him was… well, it looked a little like one of those ponies from Lon Lon ranch, but this one was a bit smaller, and very different looking. Connor had never had a marshmallow, but if he had, he would have made the comparison instantly. The pony was orange, with a yellow mane and a brown hat on, and Connor was fairly sure it was she that had talked. Even so, he glanced around for another possible source for the voice, not ready to descend into complete madness yet. In doing so, he noticed that the pony had a trio of apples on each flank. Maybe a tattoo?

Connor tried to find a voice. “Are you…. Did you just….Hello?”

The orange mare looked at him with shock. “ You cain talk!”

“You can talk!”

Applejack peered intently at Connor’s hands. “What in the name of awl things apples ahr those? And hay, how’re ya standin’ on yer hind legs fer so long?”

Connor was stupefied. He was sure he was still in Hyrule, knocked out on the floor of that large circular room with all the paintings, and that evil man on the horse was going through his pockets for change. This couldn’t be real.

The orange mare, who he simply thought of at this point as “orange pony” was getting over her shock. “Well, Ah don’t know where ya come from, or how ya came to be in mah orchard, but ya look hungrier than Pinkie when she spies them cupcakes. Why don’t ya’ll come on wit’ me.”

Connor, realizing that the pony did not intend to trample him, and was in fact going to feed him, was able to recover some of his social capabilities. Walking forward to catch up with the orange godsend, he said,

“My name’s Connor. I don’t know where I am, or what’s going on, but I am hungry. Thank you for taking me with you. Who are you, and where am I?”

The pony looked over at him curiously. “Why, this here’s Ponyville! Name’s Applejack. Ah run this here apple farm with mah family. Best apples in all of Equestria!”

Connor couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “So, there are no other humans around? You’re all ponies?”

“Hu-what? Is that what ya’ll calls yerself? Ah ain’t seen anything like you before, if that’s what yer askin’.”

Connor cursed under his breath. No other humans. Still, this pony seemed kind enough, and if the rest of them were like her, he might be able to tolerate it here until he could find a way back to Hyrule.

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***Author’s Note: If you made it this far, you’re okay. In my professional opinion, this chapter was THE WORST. Sorry about it. :) It gets better from here.***