Carts' Unicorn Theater

by CartsBeforeHorses

Chapters

• F.A.T.E. by Kyuubi Gear Part 1
• Sonic In Ponyville by Ice Bolt
• Smoking Makes You Look Cool by Regidar
• Mother 3 Meets MLP by Wattwolf

F.A.T.E. by Kyuubi Gear Part 1

Hello, fellow riff enthusiasts! My name is CartsBeforeHorses and today, I will be riffing F.A.T.E by Kyuubi Gear. Unlike most of the stories that are riffed, this one is from PonyFictionArchive rather than FimFiction. It has over 10,000 views on the site, which makes it one of the most popular stories on PonyFictionArchive. It also has nothing but about 20 five-star ratings. It’s also one of the most confused, muddled, grammatically incoherent piles that I’ve ever read.

If you want to torture yourself and read the unriffed version, you can find it here.

So… sit back and enjoy the riff!

CartsBeforeHorses: Ah, just another beautiful day on the internet.

Pinkie Pie (from computer screen): Hellooooo, Carts!

Carts: Wait, Pinkie Pie? I thought that you were a fictional character!

Pinkie (from screen): Nope, silly, I’m as real as you are! But I need a super-duper favor from you. Though, this requires you to become a pony.

Carts: Oooh, I’ve always wanted to be a pony. Can I be a unicorn?

Pinkie (from screen): Um... sure. But you have to agree to do what I ask of you!

Carts: It’s a deal!

*zap from the screen as Carts is transported into Ponyville*

Carts: Woah, I’m in Ponyville!

*Carts discovers he is a chocolate-coated unicorn stallion with a blond mane and green eyes, but no cutie mark just yet.*

Carts: This kicks SO much flank! I wonder if I can do magic. Hmm...

*Carts horn sparkles, but then fizzles*

Carts: I guess it requires practice. Maybe Twilight Sparkle can give me some advice.

*Carts walks to the library and knocks on the door*

Twilight Sparkle: Hmm, who could that be?

Carts: Hey, Twilight! How’s it goin’?

Twilight: Um...

Carts: Oh, where are my manners. I’m CartsBeforeHorses, a human who Pinkie turned into a unicorn in exchange for a favor. But I have no idea what that favor is, though.

Twilight: Wait... PINKIE turned you into a unicorn?

Carts: Yeah, what’s wrong with that?

Twilight: Great... it’s probably another one of her science experiments.

Carts: She’s a scientist?

Twilight: Yeah, she experiments on what happens when one is exposed to a significant amount of bad fan-fiction.

Carts: Oh?

*Rarity walks by Twilight’s library.*

Rarity: Oh, hello Twilight. Who’s your guest?

Twilight: He’s CartsBeforeHorses, a human. Or, rather, a human who Pinkie turned into a unicorn pony.

Carts: Yeah, cool huh?

Rarity: Oh dear. PINKIE? Twilight, we have to explain this to Carts!

*Twilight and Rarity rush Carts into the library.*

Twilight: Usually she only does it to humans, but I guess she’s moved on to humans-turned-ponies.

Carts: Does what? Makes people read bad fanfictions? Wait... is this one of those MST things I’ve been hearing about?

Rainbow Dash (from TV): Hello, Twilight! Hello, Rarity!

Pinkie Pie (from TV): Hello, Carts! And yes, this IS an MST! I’ve been doing this to humans for years, but one day I wondered... what would happen if I subjected a PONY to such madness? Not just a pony, but a human trapped in a pony’s body who was still trying to adjust to being a pony?

Carts: Why would you need to know something that specific?

Rainbow (from TV): SCIENCE!

Twilight: This isn’t real science, Pinkie. Science is when you--

Rainbow (from TV): Can it, Sparkle!

Pinkie (from TV): So, today’s story is called F.A.T.E. It’s a wonderful tale about the mane six being transported to earth and living as humans.

Carts: So the opposite of what’s happened to me?

Pinkie (from TV): Yeppers! It’s also one of the most popular stories over on PonyFictionArchive.

Twilight: So, a big fish in a small pond? Interesting.

Rarity: Yes, saying that a fanfiction is really popular over on PFA is like saying that a band is really popular in Canada. It just isn’t that impressive.

Rainbow (from TV): This one’s a real stinker. It has a confusing plot, a Mary Sue of a protagonist, almost no capitalization, and horrible spelling and grammar.

Rarity: Not Mary Sues!

Carts: Not confusing plots!

Twilight: Not horrible spelling and grammar!

Pinkie (from TV): Yes, indeed!

Rainbow (from TV): It’s also very, very long.

Carts, Rarity, and Twilight: NOOOOOOO!

Pinkie (from TV): Better get started!

*buzzer*

ALL: WE’VE GOT STORY SIGN!

Chapter 1: the main 6  bronies  

Carts: I thought that the mane six were ponies…

Rarity: Just wait.

GOVERNMENT HQ-MAY 12- 1 WEEK AGO                

It was 10:56 am

Twilight: How oddly precise.

in the morning and offices were full with people working and chatting with each other, others were being lazy,

Rarity: Your tax dollars at work.

and others were pulling pranks on there friends to kill time.

Carts: Yeah, remember when Bob put LSD in the water cooler? That was hilarious!

but in the war room up on the 50th floor a conversation was taking place.

"chief if I may ask as to why we have to keep protecting the poor people of new port city?"

Twilight: “chief if I may ask as to what the shift key on the keyboard does?”

there chief known to all of new port city as chief commander lucy, was wearing a black long sleeve shirt, baggy pants, and a silver necklace with a ruby in the center.

Rarity: She also wore a backwards baseball cap and gold teeth in her mouth.

Carts: Keepin’ it real up in here.

She sighs as she hears this "look I been over this with the three of you time and again! She shouts causing the three men to jump in fear, "I have to protect the poor souls of new port city for my fucking reputation!, If this wasn't about my reputation then I would leave them to fucking die and rot for all I fucking care!, DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!

Rarity: She then popped a cap in each of their asses.

They then looked at each other and nodded at her as she then got up from her seat and walked out of the room, as she was gone the three men looked at each other and smiled evilly. One man then turned into a black alicorn with a white horn and red zebra strips on his body,

Twilight: Well if they’re red, they’re not really zebra stripes, are they? Oh, excuse me, zebra “strips.”

Carts: Oooh, Zecora’s being naughty!

he then laid his front hooves on the table as he then began to speak.

"well our master was right, she is the one that our master is very interested in"

Twilight: So the master was right about his being interested in her?

Carts: Look, don’t try to make sense of this.

Twilight: Sorry.

the other man then spoke up "well vanish let's hope that lord discord and Lucy will be a wonderful and chaotic couple", they all then chuckled in unison in the dark lit room.

New port city-may 17

"Clayton...Clayton wake up your gonna be late" his mother said on the other side of his door, she then heard him fall out of his bed and groan. "uhhh....hey mom what time is it?" he asked as he then got up and walked to the bathroom in his room

Rarity: He has a bathroom in his room?

to brush his teeth and wash his face and proceeded to open his door and walk out the room shirtless and in his sweat pants with a number 5 on the side.

Carts: What, is he a race car driver?

His mother only chuckled and smiled as she gave him an answer "it's nine in the morning and you have no school anymore because you told us that you were not ready for it this year,

Carts: Wow, what a loser.

Twilight: I guess he lives in one of the states where you can drop out of school at age thirteen.

Carts: You mean Mississippi?

plus you have plans to do with your friends today". He then walked back into his room and closed his door gently and started getting dressed " anything else I should know about today mom?" he said as he put on his army pants and blue sleeveless shirt, his polo laceless shoes, his worn out old brooklyn express jacket that he got 3 years ago from his mother and he put on his black fingerless gloves and his black kamina sunglasses that he got last week.

Rarity: Dear Celestia, he has the least fashion sense of anypony I’ve ever seen!

Twilight: Looks like the author is whoring for some character fanart!

Carts: That or he’s being really descriptive for no reason.

As he walked out he then looked over to his bed side and saw his devil may cry 3 Yamato katana that his father had gotten him as a gift last month, and grabbed it and put it over his shoulder as he walked out of his room.

Twilight: Can’t go anywhere without that sword!

He walked over and hugged his mother and stepped back a bit as his mother then snapped her fingers "oh by the way Clayton you did kinda miss your show today", Clayton just blinked as he had no idea what his mother was talking about until it hit him.

Rarity: “Ouch!”

"oh shit!" he thought as he then ran downstairs and saw his father watching my little pony as he was laying on the sofa, "dad!, Did I miss it!?" he asked.

His father looked at him and sighed with a smile "sorry bud but yea ya did, it was the one with your girlfriend doing a sonic rainboom"

Carts: “Oh, no! I missed a show that I can watch on the internet anytime I want!”

Rarity: And without commercials, no less.

he said which made him blush and run his right hand threw his black curly hair.

Twilight: Wait, which “he” are we talking about? Pronoun confusion, much?

Carts: Get used to it.

"dad come on don't tease me like that, just because I have a huge crush on rainbow dash, hell you and mom keep wishing that she was real so she could be a member of this family". His father only smiled hearing his son say that as he then saw his wife walk downstairs and pass Clayton into the living room with him,

Rarity: Could you be a dear and pass the Clayton?

his mother then spoke "yes and we will keep doing that because you are like a male version of her, and I think that the two of you two dating would be very sweet" she finished with a chuckle.

Carts: Said no parent, ever.

Clayton looked away from his parents hiding his blush "living with a family full of broines....best family ever"

Twilight: Wish fulfillment self-insert… best fanfic ever!

he thought to himself until his iPhone went off in the kitchen he then walked over to it and grabbed it and looked at the two new messages on his phone, one was from his friend corey and  the other was from his older sister...lucy.

He looked up at his parents who were watching another episode of my little pony when he cleared his throat making his father pause the show and turn to him, his father looked at him with concern "what's the matter bud?"

Twilight: “There’s no paragraph breaks for new dialogue, Dad!”

Carts: Other than the ones inserted by our riffing.

Clayton stared at him "I got a text from lucifer".

Carts: Wait, her full name is Lucifer!?

Both of his parents knew who this was and looked at each other then at Clayton "so" his father said "what does lucy want with you all of a sudden " he put his phone in his pocket,

Rarity: “Keep that phone safe for me, okay dad?”

"I don't know dad and to be honest I really don't care about lucifer or should I say my ex-brony of a sister" he said shuddering at the word sister coming from his lips.

Carts: Yep, after she quit watching cartoon horses we excommunicated her!

Twilight: Even though she’s apparently protecting us and our entire city.

He then looked at the clock and saw that it was 9:46 am, as he then started to scamper out of the kitchen and to the front door "crap i gotta go,

Rarity: Too much information.

I will see you guys latter love you mom, love you dad bye" he said as he ran out the door and to his third and sadly prized possession a custom made chopper that his sister got him for his 18th birthday last month.

Twilight: A sadly prized possession?

Rarity: “Sniff… I just can’t… sniff… bear how FABULOUS it is!”

Carts: So wait, he’s 18? I just assumed he was younger.

Twilight: Gee, I wonder why?

Carts: Also, if his sister got him a custom motorcycle, why does he still not like her?

Rarity: Some ponies are just impossible to please.

He got on it and pulled out his key attached to a black and red rabbits foot, and put It into the ignition and started it up and drove off. "ok let's go to the park,

Twilight: He and the mouse in his pocket.

that is were Corey told me that we would all be hanging out as our personal spot from now on" he thought as he drove to the park with a cocky grin on his face.

THE PARK

At the park Corey, his brother max, clayton's cousin dillon, sam and jack were all sitting on a large blanket talking amongst themselves about there favorite pony.

Twilight: They all had the same favorite pony.

Since they they were young they all lived very close in the same area and have been friends for live, they were even bronies as well and they all decided to make a team which they called "the brony family".

Rarity: I love you, you love me, we’re a brony family.

Each member had there favorite pony that they loved dearly max had twilight sparkle, Corey had rarity, sam had applejack, jack had pinky pie, dillon had fluttershy, and Clayton had rainbow dash.

Carts (to reader): I hope you’re all taking notes, there will be a quiz on this later.

"so guys can someone please riddle me something" max said

Rarity: “What’s black and white and red all over?”

Carts: That zebra alicorn from earlier.

Dillon answered "what is it man?"

"were the hell is your cousin!"

"dude Corey texted him already don't worry about it he'll be here"

Max only rolled his eyes and looked at his full metal alchemist pocket watch and saw that it was

Rarity: anime o’ clock.

12:11 pm, he sighed and put his watch back into his pocket and looked up at the sky as he then felt a hand on his shoulder and looked over and saw that it was jack's hand.

Carts: “JACK! Your hand’s been cut off!”

"hey I'm sure that he and his family are just enjoying some time with him at the moment but I know he'll be here man just be cool".

"I can't jack you

Twilight: My barn door doesn’t swing that way, if you know what I mean.

forget today is saturday and plus summer has started too". "so that means a lot of people are gonna want to be in the park and hang out and shit".

Rarity: Ew, right in the middle of the park?

Carts: I always take shits when I hang out with my friends. Shitting alone is so boring.

Jack turned over to sam and stuck his tongue out at him

Carts: What, is he five?

as Corey intervened "oh come on you guys cut it out he will be here, just wait a litt-, Corey was cut off when a football hit him in the chest causing him to fall over.

Carts: He fell from being hit by a football? What, was it thrown by Joe Montana?

Twilight: Or Hannah Montana.

"aww damn did I hit the little pussy too bad" the boys then looked over to see a overweight boy with grey hair and glasses

Rarity: Grey hair? Not grey hair! Such an awful, awful color!

wearing a gold and blue shirt and green shorts walking over to them.  dillon face palmed himself as he knew that voice, "leave us alone richard were not here to mess with you" dillon said to him in a medium tone.

Carts: Yes, I’ll have a Big Mac with a medium tone, please.

Richard only growled at his remark and walked over to him and grabbed him by his shirt "and why should I not mess with you little fucks huh!, Since summer is now here that means I get to have all the fun I want in fucking with you pussy fags!". Dillon only looked into his green eyes and spitted into his face causing Richard to drop him and giving dillon time to hide from the unnatural fuckery,

Carts: GOD HATES UNNATURAL FUCKERY!

Rarity: At least Dillon has the narrator on his side.

"ah you little shit!, I'm gonna break all your fucking bones when I find you!". Before he could run he felt a tap on his shoulder as he turned around to see who tapped him, a hard punch was thrown to his face making him fall face first into a tree.

Twilight: But how—

Carts: I know.

Twilight: But if Richard was facing the fist—

Carts: I know.

As he looked up at his attacker he immediately saw who had hit him "not you" said as he got back to his feet. The boys all smiled when they saw clayton grinning at Richard still balling up his fist, "yea that's right fat ass it's me!, Now what were you gonna go and do to my cousin fat ass?"

Rarity: Your cousin’s name is fat ass?

he asked as his left hand started to go for his sword on his back.

Twilight: That escalated quickly.

Richard then saw him reach for his sword as he went to grab his football and walk past Clayton, but as he walked past him he put his hand on his shoulder and whispered into his ear "you think your so strong with that sword huh bitch".

Carts: So after everything else he has said aloud to everyone, THAT is what he says privately to Clayton?

Clayton only smiled darkly as he whispered back to him, "carful they could stab you in the back" just as he finished his sentence he quickly backed away from Richard and drew his Yamato katana over his head and cut his left eye and glasses in two.

Rarity: Blinding someone? That’s a bit harsh, don’t you think?

Carts: Especially considering that all this Richard character did was throw a football at them and call them a few names. He didn’t even hit any of—

Twilight: Shut up! Mary Sue wish fulfillment!

Richard screamed in pain as he put his hand over his left eye and saw on the ground that his glasses were cut in two. "come on guys let's go before he recovers"

Carts: “Come on guys, let’s go before he files assault charges!”

clayton said as he walked away from Richard, they all smiled at what Clayton did, dillon had the biggest smile out of all of them. He always wanted to do that to Richard for all the bullying that he suffered from him at school. He ran over to the group and walked beside his older cousin with joy but they all heard Richard yell at clayton, " THIS ISN'T OVER YOU BASTERED!,

Twilight: You’ve really bastered up this time!

I SWEAR I WILL GET YOU BACK AND WHEN I DO YOUR DEAD!"

Twilight: No, it can be your dead if you want.

hearing that from Richard caused dillon to shiver a bit in fear but as he looked up at clayton he saw him flip him off as they walked out of the park.

Carts: “Hey guys, he flipped us off! Let’s go put out his other eye!”

Max then turned to clayton as his smile then faded into an uneasy look on his face "dude you know that he is really gonna get you back for breaking his glasses and cutting his left eye man", Clayton only huffed "so what, he had no right to mess with you guys at all". "besides were family

Twilight: Were family, not anymore.

Carts: “twilight if you stop to make fun of” . “every grammar error were going to be here all night”

Twilight: Sorry.

and we must always protect this family no matter what or die trying". Max just looked at him as he then turned his head "I swear you and those crappy words of motivation", Clayton just rolled his eyes as jack tapped his shoulder.

"hey Clayton?"

"yea?"

"what took you so long to get to the park you always get there before us?"

"I was busy"

Carts: “Sleeping.”

Sam then turned to him "with what admiring rainbow dash with your family of bronies?" he snickered a bit

Rarity: Sam must be psychic.

Clayton blushed madly as he glared back at sam "w-what no!, if you MUST know I was at the star fire rave club and I asked the owner of the club if we could go and hang out there tonight, and he said that he'll be happy to let us hang out there for free when ever we want",

Carts: “Sure, I’d love to have a high-school dropout and his five underage brony friends hang out at my club for free!”

Rarity: “Come on in, feel free to not buy any drinks, either!”

everyone in the group had there mouths drop the star fire club was one of the most popular and very very expensive rave clubs to get into unless you had a VIP pass of course. The only problem with getting one is that they costed $78 bucks to even get one,

Rarity: Or, you know, you could just talk to the owner of the club and get one for free, apparently.

all the boys then hugged Clayton as tight as they all could.

Dillon shouted "thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

Clayton tried to speak but he couldn't because of the lack of oxygen from the hug, when jack let go of him they all did the same. Max simply rubbed his head "heh heh sorry clayton".

Carts: “Oh my god, Clayton, are you alright? Call an ambulance, he’s not breathing!”

Twilight: I wish.

Clayton finally got some air and looked at him "it's ok I would do the same thing, but for now let's go have some fun shall we boys" The boys all nodded before heading to the club.

STAR FIRE CLUB 4:58 pm

The club was blasting with music and lights and people mostly teens were dancing and grinding on each other,

Twilight: They were killing each other over and over again for more experience points?

Carts: No.

Rarity: You really need to get out more, Twilight.

Clayton watched his fellow friends dance there heads off while he was leaning back on the wall smiling at them. Max was dancing away from the group a bit not with his mind too much into the music and accidentally bumped into someone making them fall.

Rarity: He then bumped into another person, making them winter.

Max then looked down at the person he knocked down was a girl and gasped "oh my god I'm so sorry for knocking you over, are you ok?, he kneeled down and held out his hand to her. She looked up into his eyes with her purple eyes

Carts: Purple eyes? Seriously? That’s like the human equivalent of an alicorn OC.

and max then felt like she was looking into his mind, she reached for his hand and gently took hold of it and he pull her up gently back to her feet.

"sorry I was too much into the music"

Rarity: “When my ears are running, my eyes don’t work.”

max said sheepishly as he blush a bit in embarrassment, the girl only giggled at his apology and smiled at him "it's ok I'm not hurt or anything but thank you for helping me up..ummm". He held out his hand in front of her "max" he said with a smile "my name is max, and who might you be?" the girl then put her hand threw her purple long hair

Twilight: How do you throw your hair?

Rarity: As one would throw a football, of course.

as she then dusted off her purple short sleeve shirt and purple shorts as she grabbed for his hand, my name is iris it's a pleasure to meet you max".

Max blushed as he smiled "the pleasure is all mine iris" he said as he kissed her hand making her blush red as a rose.

Carts: Gettin’ chivalrous up in here.

"um well if it's ok with you iris I would like to know if you would like to stay at my house for the night, I mean if that is ok with you I mean?"

Carts: “Hey Iris, is it okay if I fuck you?”

Rarity: “Sure, why not! It’s not like I just met you or anything!”

Iris blushed more at his offer and smiled "yes I would like that very much max", as soon as max could speak he looked over at his friends who were cheering him on, and started lip sing "kiss the girl"

Carts (singing): Sha-la-la-la-la, this story blows.

making Clayton chuckle a bit as he still watched from the wall. As the party ended for the night all the boys walked to max's suv and got in except for Clayton and dillon who got on his cousin's chopper

Carts: GET TO THE CHOPPA!

and waved to the guys before heading out, as they saw the two leave max then got inside his car and drove his friend's home to there houses.

Rarity: His friend’s home must’ve been an RV.

As he dropped off jack and sam only Him,

Twilight: Why did the author capitalize “Him?” Has Clayton turned into God, now?

Carts: Mary Sue, but close enough.

Corey, and iris were left in the car as they drove into the driveway of there house.

Corey got out first and walked to the front door to be meet by there father who taped his foot when he saw the boys.

Rarity: Scotch or duct tape?

"you two got home late I see" there father said with a calm voice, Corey then patted his father on the chest "yea old man we did sorry if we made you worry about us, Clayton got us into the star fire club for free". There father then raised an eyebrow at him "and how in gods name did he pull that off?"

Carts: Yeah, seriously, we’ve all been wondering the same thing.

Twilight: “How’d you pull that off, son?” “Wish fulfillment, Dad!”

max walked into the house with iris behind him. There father saw the two and snickered "and I take he helped you with this as well huh maxwell?", max groaned when he heard his father call him by his full name.

Twilight: Lord Maxwell Elijah Dennison the Fifth, Esquire.

"ugh no old man, this was all me" he then turned to iris "hey old man, is it ok if iris can spend the night over here with us please?", there father rubbed his grey beard in thought never once had max or Corey been with a girl in well ever and seeing this now in front of his eyes was a very wonderful thing to him.

Carts: He broke down in tears, creeping everybody out.

He sighed happily and nodded "well why not after all it's only a sleep over, it's not like you two are gonna do anything else"

Rarity: I’ll say, especially not after she’s seen that grey beard. Total turnoff.

he finished his sentence with a wink making the two blush. Corey then face-palmed and looked at his father "come on old man max is only 19 and still a virgin, sex is one thing that he would not be good at".

Carts: Um, no, I can think of several other things he wouldn’t be good at, either.

Max just stood there twitching madly as iris broke the awkward moment, "w-well that is what we will not be doing I promise you".

Corey and there father nodded in agreement max was not like other men out only looking for just sex all the time, he was extremely smart and he always loved to read on his spare time.

Twilight: Is he implying that people who read never get any action?

Carts: Apparently. So, I guess I’ll see you two later, then. Bye—

Rarity: You’re not getting out of MST duty that easy, Carts!

Carts: Aw.

But he wanted to find a girl that would have the same tastes as him and that is why he turned to my little pony and fell in love with twilight sparkle, because that was the kind of woman or pony that he wanted in his life.

Twilight: OH GOD NO

As there father then looks at the clock and turns to then he snaps his fingers signaling then that they all should get some rest. Corey, max, and iris all head upstairs and go into there room and close the door.

Carts: Corey and Max share a room? Now he’s DEFINITELY not getting any.

As soon as they hear there father sleeping in his room

Rarity: He snores like a freight train, so it’s easy to tell.

Iris sits on max's bed and looks at his collection of twilight sparkle ponies making her smile and looks over to his brother Corey's posters of rarity. "wow rarity would love him to death if she saw this" iris thought

Rarity: No, actually, I’d just find it creepy.

as she looked at max who was sitting on the floor next to the bed, she then pokes max's arm making him turn his attention to her.

He looked up at her into her purple eyes that seemed to draw him into a trace "yes iris what's up?" he asked her.

Rarity (trancelike): Yes master… what’s up…

She then looked at him with a worried look on her face, "umm max would you umm...believe me if I told you that I'm not what you think that I am?".

Carts: “No.”

He blinked at what she said and scratched his brown spiky hair "what do you mean iris?" he was still puzzled by her words, she then sadly sighed and got off the bed and sat in front of him.

"allow me to show you what I mean" she then started to glow a purple aurora around her body and started to change, her hands started to turn into hoofs, her body then shifted and formed into a purple pony like body,

Twilight: Pony-like body? So, not actually a pony body?

her legs then formed into back hoofs as her tail which was as the same color as her hair came out, and her face formed into a muzzle and a purple horn was showing on the top of her head.

Rarity: Twilight, your horn is showing.

Max's mouth dropped at what he saw before his very own eyes, the pony that he had loved was in his house in front of his own eyes.

Carts: In front of his eyes  before his eyes, he saw. Did I mention he was looking at this?

The purple pony then began to speak to him "my real name is twilight sparkle and I am a pony from ponyville" she said with a smile, max didn't know what to do after herring twilight speak to him

Twilight: Herring Twilight? So, I’m a fish now?

Carts: Fishy, fishy.

expect faint right in front of her.

Twilight then jumped at his action "max!" she shouted but he was knocked out, "oh dear looks like I will have to do some explaining to him when he comes to".

Carts: Looks like the author will have a lot of explaining to do about this story.

Twilight: Time for a break?

Carts: Yeah, these are long chapters, let’s take a break.

*****

Rarity:  Oh, wow, this story is LOOOOOOOOONG.

Carts: We still have 44 chapters to go.

Twilight: Dear sweet Celestia.

Carts: So, I wonder when we’re going to see Lucy, or rather, Lucifer again.

Twilight: Isn’t that a male name? Who names their girl Lucifer? For that matter, who names ANY kid Lucifer?

Carts: Someone who wants their kid to be evil.

Rarity: Well, she can’t be that bad, I mean after all… she’s protecting the poor people of  New Port City!

Twilight: Yeah, but only for her reputation. The author makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that she doesn’t care for them.

Carts: And she’s not even doing that good of a job “protecting” them. I mean, a swordfight broke out in the middle of the park, involving her own brother, no less, and she didn’t lift a finger!

Rarity: Point taken.

Twilight: So I guess I’m in the story now. But I recognize the posters of Rarity in Max’s room. So then, am I aware that my life is a TV show?

Carts: No.

Twilight: But—

Carts: No. As made clear in the following chapter, none of the ponies know that yet.

Twilight: Wow.

*buzzer*

Rarity: Speaking of, we’ve got story sign!

All: STORY SIGN!

Chapter 2: introductions and a new home      

Carts: This one is over 6,000 words long, so strap in for the ride!

Rarity and Twilight: AWW!

"uhhh....what happened?. I thought for a moment that I saw twilight sparkle in my house and she was talking to me" max says as he starts to come to from passing out.

"sorry bro but no it was not a dream"

Carts: Sorry guys, but this story is not a dream.

He then looks over to his Corey and his eyes almost fall out of there sockets as he sees his brother stroke rarity's mane gently with his hand, he then looks over to his right to see a bunch of cartoon ponies in there room.

Carts (singing): Boom, boom, boom, boom, I want you in my room!

Twilight then trots over to him a bit making max back away a little bit in fear.

She sees this as she then looks down at the floor "max...I know that this maybe hard to believe. But please try to understand that we-", she was cut off when she felt him grab her in his arms and hug her lovingly.

Twilight: As opposed to hugging her hatefully.

"hard to believe! Twilight this is the best thing to ever happen to me!"

Carts: Uh, I think that “hard to believe” can coincide with “good,” Corey.

Rarity: No, he’s got voices in his head normally, this is totally not hard for him to believe!

he said to her shedding small tears on her purple main, twilight was shocked by this a bit. She never thought that he would react like this let alone hug her the way he did, in her mind she was happy and she was happy that he was happy.

Carts: And he was happy that she was happy that he was happy.

She then rested her head on his shoulder and sighed happily "oh max I'm so happy that your not afraid or anything"

Twilight: Why would you have even thought he’d be afraid of ponies? He has posters of ponies up in his room, for Celestia’s sake!

she said as she broke the hug.

Rarity: You break it, you buy it.

He looked at her she looked just as she did in the show but a little bigger that he thought, as he stood up he saw that she reached his half his legs.

Max then turned to his brother and titled his head at him, "wait Corey how come your ok with this?. I mean I thought you would be freaking out and stuff?" his big brother only smiled at him as he stopped stroking rarity's mane. As he stopped rarity noticed this and pouted at him "aww darling. Why did you stop that felt so relaxing on my mane"

Rarity: Oh, Celestia, no.

said fluttering her eyelashes at him hoping that he would stroke her mane again.

Twilight: She said this by fluttering her eyelashes at him?

Carts: She was fluttering them in Morse code.

Corey knew what she was doing and only waged his finger at her "ah ah ah rarity. I know what your trying to pull but that will not work with me my dear hehe",

Carts: No, Rarity, what WERE you trying to pull?

Rarity: You don’t want to know.

rarity stopped fluttering her eyelashes at him and raised her head up in a snobbish way.

Twilight: How do you raise your head in a snobbish way?

Rarity: Oh, it can be done.

The sight that rarity did only made Corey chuckle a bit be for he cleared his throat, "ahem I know that you have a lot of questions to ask bro so I will let twilight explain them to you as she did to me" he then looked over at twilight who was sitting at max's side. As she heard him say her name she instantly looked up at max "ah yes as I almost forgot to tell you, but yes as your brother said there is a reason to why we are all here max. Princess celestia has been wanting to learn about this planet for quite some time, and she has been sending some ponies do see what they can learn about this planet called...umm what was it called again?".

Twilight: “Yeah, what was this planet called that Celestia sent me on a critical mission to?”

Max leaned down and tapped her "earth" he said to her, "ah yes earth. thank you max".

"it's ok twilight"

"well she sent the 6 of us here to learn many things about the inhabits that live on this planet and so far the only two people that we have learned about is you and Corey", she finished.

Twilight: And everyone at that club we were just at, but forget them.

Max was stunned to hear that princess celestia has been watching over earth for some time. And now she sends her start student onto there planet to learn more about human life, the thought of this made max smile a bit as he began to think of how many times that he had wished for this to happen to him.

Carts: 24,973 times, to be precise.

Twilight then poked his chest with her hoof "umm max are you ok?" he looked at her and shook his head, "huh? What? Oh yea I'm ok twilight I was just thinking".

Twilight: That’s new.

She then tilted her head a bit "what were you thinking about?".

"oh it's nothing really. Just spacing out is all" he chuckled nervously.

Rarity: Ground control to Major Max!

She then raised an eyebrow before forgetting about it "well anyway. Max I would like for you to meet my friends" she said as she pointed her hoof at her friends who were still siting in the Corner,

Carts: That must be one cramped corner.

looking around at the room. she pointed to applejack first "this here is applejack" applejack then trotted up to max and held out her hoof to him.

Howdy there partner put y'er there "she said in a southern accent,

Carts: I lived in Georgia for years, and “Howdy there partner put y’er there” is NOT a southern accent.

max touched her hoof with his hand and she shook him rapidly almost making him sick. "n-nice t-to m-meet y-you" he tried to say clearly as applejack shook his hand. As she stopped he then held his head with his hands trying keep himself from being sick, twilight then pointed to pinky pie

Twilight: Is THAT how you spell her name? I’ve been spelling it wrong for all these years!

who was smiling widely. "over here is pinky pie" pinky pie then bounced right up to max's face and started blasting him with questions.

Rarity: She has an AK-Forty-Question.

"hi I'm pinky pie. Who are you?. Are you friendly?. Oh oh do you like parties? Cuz I like parties too. Why are your hoofs so different?. Do you have friends?. Do your friends like parties too?. Maybe we should have a huge- pinky pie's mouth was mumbling under twilight's hoof as she stopped her from talking.

Twilight: I wish I could do that to this author, too.

"pinky pie please we will get to questions later ok" twilight said to her as she took her hoof from her mouth.

"okie dokie" she said as she hopped back to the corner.

She then pointed at rarity "and this is rarity", rarity then trotted away from Corey and over to max "hello max it is a pleasure to meet you darling" she said in a British tone

Rarity: Is THAT what my accent is? British?

Twilight: “Chip, chip, wot wot, jolly good, guv’nah!”

as she bowed her head a bit then came back up, max only rubbed the back of his neck "the pleasure is all mine rarity" he said as rarity smiled and trotted back over to Corey's side.

Rarity: And then promptly trotted back away after smelling his severe body odor.

"man Corey must love her a lot because I really don't see it" he thought to himself as he the saw twilight look over at rainbow dash. "and here is rainbow dash", rainbow dash then flew up to max's face

Twilight: And crashed into him, breaking his nose.

and stared at him a bit before holding out her hoof to him " hey ya

Carts (singing): “Shake it like a Polaroid picture!”

I'm rainbow dash the fastest flyer in all of equestria!" she said with pride as he shook her hoof and smirked a bit and snickered at her. She saw this and raised an eyebrow at him "hey what's so funny?".

Rarity: “Oh, you’re just so out of character, that’s all.”

Max stopped smirking and snickering to speak "sorry about that it's well. You kinda remind me of a certain someone who acts just like you in every way. And let me tell you he is also 20% cooler just like you", rainbow dash grinned and smiled joyfully hearing this "there is someone who is 20% cooler just like me?. No way?". Where is he so I can meet him?. Is he just as cool looking as me?".

Carts: Because that’s what I do when I meet a person for the first time; I immediately start talking about someone entirely different.

Max only smiled to himself as he thought of Clayton and how much the two were just alike in every way, he then looked at the last pony who was hiding her face behind her pink hair as her looked at max a bit then looked at the floor then back at him.

Carts: Then back at the floor, then back at him, then back at the—

Twilight: Shut UP, Carts!

"and lastly this is fluttershy" twilight said to max as fluttershy looked at max shyly, "oh umm...h-hello max" she said quietly as she could. Max only smiled at her "it's nice to meet you fluttershy. I think my friend dillon and you would get along just nicely".

Twilight: It’s almost like the author planned it that way!

Fluttershy then raised her head after hearing max's friends name, "o-oh a-and who is dillon?. Umm...you don't mind me a-asking?" she said still hiding her face with her hair. "he is a friend of mine that you will meet very soon. In fact I think that I should call them up to let them come over and take you girls home with them. How does that sound?".

All of the girls faces lit up with joy at the idea until pinky pie started bouncing up and down

Carts: At which point the joy was promptly sucked out of the room.

" yayyyyyyy!. We get to stay with max's friends. This is Gonna be so much fun" she said still bouncing up and down overjoyed, Corey then grabbed his cellphone and started to call up the rest of there friends to come over to the house.

JACK'S HOUSE 12:06 am

jack was laying down in his bed looking up at the celling unable to sleep,

Rarity: That poor insomniac ceiling! Take some NyQuil and you’ll doze right off.

Twilight: Not ceiling, celling.

he had a dream about his parents again, the same dream that had been haunting him for 15 years of his life ever since they passed away. He was sighing and staring at the blue celling until his train of thought was broken by the sound of his phone going off next to him, he grabbed it and saw that it was Corey he answered it.

"yea?"

"dude come over here right away"

"why?. What's going on?"

"a surprise that's what"

Twilight: OH MY GOD, PARAGRAPH BREAKS FOR NEW SPEAKERS!

Carts: It’s the best surprise ever!

Jack didn't get what he was saying until he heard someone on the other side of the phone shout.

"oh boy a surprise!. Oh I love surprises. What is it?. Is it something yummy like a cake. Or is it a- Corey stopped pinky pie from talking as jack then raised an eyebrow on the other side of the phone.

Rarity: And Corey somehow knew about Jack raising his eyebrows, even though this is a phone.

"who was that?"

"your surprise that your gonna be getting once you get your ass over here"

"ok just let me get a jacket on and I will be there"

Jack then hung up the phone and got up out of his bed to put on his gap hoodie and converse shoes

Carts: Are these companies at least paying Kyuubi Gear for all of these product placements?

and proceed to walk out of his room and turn on all the lights,

Twilight: He turned ON the lights as he left the room? How wasteful!

Rarity: Somepony needs to go green.

just as he was about to walk out the front door he looked at the fireplace and saw a portrait of his mother and father smiling,

Twilight: He’s burning his family portrait?

he smiled at them it was the only thing that he cherished in the house more than anything.

Twilight: Just one thing? I thought that he cherished three things more than anything.

As he looked at the portrait for 3 minutes

Carts: It’s like the Mirror of Erised.

he then opened up his front door and closed it, as he then walked to his parents jeep parked outside on the street.

Rarity: His dead parents’ Jeep?

Carts: Maybe they left it to him.

He got inside and pressed the start engine button since since the jeep didn't have an ignition slot because his mother got the jeep custom made to have a start engine button because his family had a very bad habit of losing  the car keys,

Carts: And losing their lives.

Twilight: Carts, be nice!

Carts: Sorry.

he fixed up the mirrors and made sure that no one was driving as he then drove off to his friends house in the middle of the night.

SAM'S HOUSE

Sam was sitting in the den watching ghost hunters as his mother was in her room reading a book, his father was away on a business for a while and would return next month.

Rarity: Firefighters finally rescued a man today who had been trapped on the roof of a local business for an entire month.

Sam was eating some popcorn and watching his show when his house phone went off, he got up to see who was calling.

"Baxter residence"

"get over here asap sam"

"corey hey man what's going on?"

"hey sam. Hey listen I need you over her on the double"

Carts: Look, I’m not over her, we just broke up! Give a guy some time to adjust, man.

"what's wrong?"

Rarity: Everything about this story.

"oh nothing. Just a surprise"

"I will be right over in a flash"

Carts: God, I hated having to use that HM. You can’t erase the move and it’s useless outside of darkened caves.

He hung up the house phone and walked to his mother's room and knocked on her door. His mother stopped reading and looked at her son with a smile.

"yes Samuel?"

"hey mom I need to go over Corey and max's house"

She looked at him with worry "oh my. Did something. Happen to there father?. Are they hurt?",

Twilight: TOO MUCH PUNCTUATION!

Carts: If only he could transplant some of those unnecessary periods and commas to other places in the story where he actually needs them.

Rarity: So, like a hair transplant, but with commas?

Carts: Eeyup.

sam shook his head "no mom. In fact Corey said that he has a surprise for me".His mother tilted her head in confusion "he has a surprise for you?. Hmm I wonder what it could be?". He shrugged "beats me. Anyway can I go over there to find out what it is please?", his mother sighed and nodded at him.

Twilight: No, bring back the paragraph breaks!

He smiled brightly "thanks mom your the best" he said as he ran to the kitchen to grab the keys to his hummer and run outside and climbed in and started his vehicle up and hit his foot on the gas and zoomed out of the drive through.

Rarity: Drive-through? He lives at a fast-food restaurant?

COREY AND MAX'S HOUSE

Meanwhile back at the house as Corey was about to call Clayton and dillon until he heard a revving sound outside the house, making fluttershy jump and hide under the beanbag chair. Max then heard the sound outside and got up and looked out his window to see Clayton and dillon both get off the chopper and walk up to the front door.

Carts: Oh no, Jehovah’s Witnesses! Everypony hide!

Fluttershy then poked her head out of the beanbag chair shivering in fear, "w-what w-was that noise?" she asked max who then turned from the window and walked over to the door out of the room. "that fluttershy was the sound of you and rainbow dashes ride home"

Twilight: They can’t just fly?

Carts: But someone might see them.

Twilight: It’s the middle of the night!

he said as he open the door and gently closed it so he didn't wake up his old man. As he left the girls with Corey applejack then put her hoof to her chin. "ride home?. What in the hay is he talkin about twilight?"

Rarity: “Ride home? What do those two words even mean?”

she said to twilight as she could only shrug, "I don't know applejack?.

Twilight: That’s a lie; Applejack is one of my best friends.

But whatever it he meant by that must have something to do with rainbow dash and fluttershy". Applejack only sighed in frustration trying to understand just what max had meant, as max walked down the stairs and up to the front door, opened it up to reveille

Twilight: That might be the most egregious spelling error I’ve ever seen.

a very pissed off Clayton and black eyed dillon holding his swollen eye.

Max's mouth dropped at the sight of his eye "holy shit dillon!. What happened to you?!" dillon only said  one word to him "mom", max then knew who gave him the black eye

Rarity: Somepony call child protective services!

"what why?. What happened this time?".

Clayton then started to cool down a bit as he spoke " he forgot his cellphone in your car and that stupid bitch hit him for leaving his phone in the car. And started talking down at him making him cry as she was telling him to stop crying like a pussy. So I dropped kicked her

Carts: All the way to the opposing team’s twenty-yard line.

and stomped on her hand and took dillon away from her and now she won't stop calling me asking for her son back!"

, max just shook his head in disappointment they all knew that clayton's aunt Tracy and his uncle reggie  were a piece of shit

Twilight: Both of them were just ONE piece of shit?

Rarity: They’re conjoined shit twins.

and hated by clayton's family. And they knew that this was going on at his house but they couldn't do anything about it because she was his son and they could not press charges against them at all.

Carts: If only there was some Government HQ in New Port City that they could call on!

Twilight: You mean the one that’s supposed to protect the poor residents?

Carts: The very same.

As max stepped back for Clayton and dillon to enter, dillon sat on the couch and saw his cell phone on the coffee table as he then picked it up and put it in his pocket.

Max then closed the door and turned to them "well I'm real sorry about that buddy" dillon looked at max "it's okay max. I just wish I could be like my cousin and stand up to her. I really wanna be like you Clayton",

Carts (singing): I wanna walk like you, talk like you…

Clayton leaned back on the wall and smiled a bit at him "it's ok dillon and I told you can just call me bro". Dillon started to smile a bit he knew that Clayton and him were close but there bond was much stronger than that and almost nothing could break it,

Twilight: Except a fierce debate over who is best pony.

max then broke the silence "well if you want something to make you feel better man. I Have just the thing for you to take

Rarity: Heroin!

home with you" he said to him making dillon look at him with a look of counfusion.

"what is it?" he asked, he then shouted up to the room but not too loud to wake up there father.

"fluttershy!. Rainbow dash!. You two can come down now" Clayton raised up his kamina sunglasses and gave max a glare that could burn right threw the sun,

Rarity: And that’s strike three as the sun flies right down the center, but Max misses again!

"dude come on!. Don't fuck with my cousin like that!" he said getting a little mad. Max only stuck his tongue out at him

Carts: What, is he five?

making Clayton flip him off, as he put his hand back to his side he looked at the end of the steps and his eyes widened along with his cousins,

Carts: His cousins both ate a LOT of junk food just then.

‘ they both saw the two cartoon ponies come downstairs and stand near the steps.

Fluttershy looked down at the floor as dillon got up from his seat and kneeled down to her

Twilight: “Fluttershy, will you marry me?”

as he put his hand on her head. "fluttershy. Is that really you ?" he put his hand on her making her make a jump a bit, he smiled at her "don't worry I'm not gonna hurt you. I would never hurt you or anypony". She then looked up at him and she saw his smile and she started to smile a bit, as she then looked at his black eye. "oh my goodness what happened to you?" she asked him as she gently pointed at his eye

Twilight: How does one gently point, exactly?

Carts: You got me there.

dillon turned his face away from her "I...I don't wanna talk about it" he said in a sad voice, she nodded at him and flew up to his face and smiled at him a bit. "well don't you worry. I'll make sure that it gets better" she said in her kind voice making dillon smile more.

Clayton was still staring at his cousin in disbelief but his stare was soon broken

Rarity: Ouch.

as he saw a cyan pony trot in front of him staring at him. He looked at the rainbow haired mare and rubbed his eyes to make sure that he wasn't in some kind of dream or anything, but when he finished he still saw her as he then kneeled down to her and held out his hand to her.

Carts: He had some delicious oats in his hand, which Rainbow Dash gobbled right up.

Max then decided to speak "well rainbow dash that is the guy I told you about who is 20% cooler just like you" he finished with a grin, rainbow dash looked at Clayton as her eyes started to widen like they did when she saw the wonderbolts in episode 16.

Carts: Which one is that again? I don’t memorize episode numbers.

Twilight: You don’t know!? You aren’t a true brony!

Carts: Apparently not.

"oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh" was all she said as she then tackled him to the floor in a hug, "you look so cool!. You look almost as cool as daring doo!" she said with excitement in her voice making him blush and show off his cocky grin.

Twilight: Wish. Fulfillment.

He then got to his feet with her in his arms "well rainbow dash. I would not have been this cool if It wasn't for you" he said, she then looked at him with a suspicious look on her face"hey?. How do you know who I am?" she asked him jabbing her hoof on his chest, "well rainbow dash you really do exist in our world. But only as a television show were humans think that ponies like you two are only a myth".

Carts: Ponies are the stuff of legends on Earth!

Rarity: Maybe he means pegasi?

Twilight: And yes, cartoon ponies are myths, just like the legendary Transformers.

Rainbow dash blinked at him "what's a television?"

Rarity: Hey, Rainbow Dash knows blinking Morse code, too!

she asked him as he looked at her with a smile "I will tell you once we get to my house" he then messes up her hair gently making her push his hand away as she blushed a bit, max then heard his bedroom door open and looked to the stairs to see

Carts: Nothing. It was a poltergeist!

his brother and the other ponies come down. Corey then saw dillon and Clayton and smiled as he saw the two hold onto there favorite cartoon ponies.

"so it looks like you guys have gotten alone nicely I see" he then winks at the four making them look away trying to hide there blush. The group then hears two cars outside and heard the two car doors shut as a knock on the door was then heard, max then opened the door to see jack and sam.

Twilight: They then heard the door opening.

"ah good your hear come on in" max said as he closed the front door a bit,

Twilight: He didn’t close it all the way?

as they both walked in they both dropped there mouths at what they saw, jack then looked over and saw pinky pie grinning at them widely as she trotted over to the boys. "hi I'm pinky pie" she said with a happy voice making sam freak out, "holy fucking snowballs she talks!"

Carts: “Holy fucking snowballs, Batman!”

was all sam could get out of his mouth before applejack then trotted over to sam and tapped his leg. Howdy there big fella" she said to him making sam shake his head. "this..this can't be real...it just can't be" before he could freak out again applejack then turned around and lifted her back hoofs and bucked him in the knee as he then fell down,

Rarity: Applejack, what’d you do THAT for!?

jack simply chuckled at the scene as twilight then looked at applejack with an angry look on her face, "applejack!" she said as she turned to twilight.

"what?. I wanted to show him that we weren't a figment of his imagination" she said as she looked at him to get up.

Carts: “So naturally, ah broke his kneecaps!”

Jack then looked down at pinky pie who was still smiling at him, "so...this is my surprise huh Corey?" jack said tapping his foot. Corey then looked at him with a grin "yes it is jack. Now you have someone to stay with you at you house now" he said as he gave him a wink which made him roll his eyes.

Rarity: You rolled doubles! Now you can get out of jail!

jack then picked up pinky pie and held her in his arms "well I love my surprise"

Rarity: Is that an oblique reference to Surprise, the original version of Pinkie Pie?

Carts: No, that’s giving this writer WAY too much credit.

he said making pinky pie smile even more, "yay!. I'm jack's surprise!" she said with glee. Twilight and max then looked at each other then back at the group as max cleared his throat "well I know that you guys want an expiation about this.

Twilight: Yes, please atone for your sins.

but it's getting late and I will have to tell you all in the morning ok guys?" the boys all nodded in unison, as twilight then spoke "oh before I forget. I Need to give you all these" she said as she then made her horn start to glow a purple aurora and a flash of light came reviling six silver bracelets, she then handed each person a bracelet "these bracelets will give us turn us into humans freely. So that we can fit in around here"

Twilight: “That’s why I’m giving them all to you six boys, who are already humans.”

the boys put the bracelets in there pockets and then started to leave and go home, as they all left only Corey, rarity, max, and twilight were left downstairs.

Max then yawned as he then walked upstairs with the others following him back into the room as his brother closed the door behind him.

Carts: I’m glad Kyuubi included that critical detail about Max closing the door behind him.

SAM'S HOUSE

sam pulled up into the driveway with applejack in the passengers seat as he got out he then opened the other side of the door for her to get out. She hoped out and landed on her hoofs "thanks sam" sam nods "no problem",

Rarity: He nodded his head in Morse code.

as sam closes the door to the hummer they then reach the front door and open it. As he opens the front door he sees that all the lights are off in the house. He then picks applejack up and carries her into his room and shuts and locks his door,

Carts: Why do I get the feeling that something non-consensual is about to happen?

"what in the hay was that about sam?" she asked him. Sam then turns on his lamp and looks at her " because I don't want my mom to see a cartoon pony in the house.

Twilight: “If only I had some sort of bracelet which could turn ponies into humans!”

I don't want her to kick you out applejack", applejack was smiling hearing this." ya don't want me to leave yer side huh Sugercube?" she said in a teasing way.

Sam only smiled at her comment "no applejack I really don't want you to leave" he said as he walked over to his closet and pulled out a sleeping bag and laid it onto the floor. She then got on it and laid down putting her cowboy hat on the side of her, sam smiled at her as he saw her then drift off to sleep as he then took off his shoes and got into bed and turned off his lamp.

Twilight: He then realized that he forgot to brush his teeth, so he turned his lamp back on, walked to his bedroom door, opened it, walked to his bathroom door, opened it, got his toothbrush—

Carts: TWILIGHT!

Twilight: Sorry.

JACK'S HOUSE

Rarity: Oh, I sure do hope we get to read a section for EACH of them!

Jack and pinky pie arrived at his house, as jack turned off the engine pinky pie looked at what jack had pressed. "hey Jackie wacky?" she said smiling at the nickname she had just given him, jack turned to pinky pie "yes pinky?".

"what was that thing you pressed?"

Twilight: It certainly wasn’t the shift key on his keyboard.

"oh that was the engine button"

"what's that?. Is it some kind of cupcake maker?" she said thinking about it.

Rarity: Because Pinkie definitely wouldn’t know what the word “engine” means.

Twilight: Yeah, it’s not like there’s trains in Equestria or anything.

He smiled back at her a bit "nope. It's what I  press to turn off the car"

"ohhhhhh okie dokie then" she said as she bounced out of her seat and onto the grass up to the house.

Jack took off his seatbelt and walked up to his house to see pinky pie hop up and down waiting for him, as he reached the door he opened with his house key and closed the door behind him.

Carts: I’m glad that the author added such detail. Knowing that he used a KEY to open his door and that he CLOSED it behind him rather than leaving it open really enriches this story.

"I'm home mom and dad" he said to the family portrait above the fireplace. Pinky pie looked at the large picture and smiled, "are these your parents?" she asked him. He stood next to her side as they both looked at the portrait, "yes pinky they are. They were the best parents I ever had".

Rarity: Well, they were the ONLY parents I ever had, but still!

Carts: They died fifteen years ago, and you can’t be older than 18, how on earth do you even remember them?

Twilight: Magic!

She then looked at him confused "what do you mean by that?", he then looked down at her "I will tell you later. Promise". She looked up at him still "pinky promise?" she asked him the words that he knew that she would ask him.

He then raised up his right hand "cross my heart and hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my eye" he said as he smacked his right with his hand "ow",

Rarity: Smacked his right? No wonder it hurt so bad!

pinky pie then hugged his leg and smiled more "yay!" she shouted.

DILLON'S HOUSE

as Clayton was driving his chopper threw the streets

Carts: That’s one strong chopper.

he looked over and saw his cousins house and drove up into the driveway. As he turned off the motorcycle and put it on the kick stand he looked at rainbow dash as she was admiring his chopper. "hey rainbow dash. Is it okay if you stay and watch my motorcycle for me?", rainbow dash nodded at him as she was looking all over the bike. Dillon who was holding fluttershy in his arms who was sleeping smiled at her as he gently woke her up, she opened up her big green eyes

Twilight Sparkle: They’re BLUE.

at him and yawned "oh a-are we here already?" she asked him.

Dillon nodded at her "yes fluttershy we are here but I need you to do me a favor please", she looked at him "what is it?" she asked in her sweet voice.

Rarity: “I need you to run over to Safeway and get me some milk. We’re all out.”

"I need you to fly above my house until I give you the signal to come inside" he said to her, "ok dillon" she then flies out of his arms and over the roof of the house. Dillon then walks up to the front door were clayton is standing and gulps. But Clayton puts his hand on his shoulder and smiles at him making a small amount of his fear go away.

Just then the boys hear the other side of the door open and Clayton quickly grits his teeth in rage at the sight of his worthless aunt Tracy.

Twilight: She didn’t have a dollar to her name.

His aunt looks at him with a cold and evil look on her face "so you decided to bring back my son after you kidnapped him from me and tried to assault me   huh?"

Carts: TRIED to assault you? He drop-kicked you!

, she said to him in a uncaring way.

Twilight: “Yeah, I don’t really care that you tried to assault me, though.”

"just be happy I didn't cut your fucking hand off bitch" Clayton said with a dark tone in his voice, his aunt then pointed at him "you watch your mouth you little shit! As much as I do for you and my older sister! You should respect me more! And not be such a smartass all the time! Not to mention looking like a fucking bum all the damn time!

Rarity: She kind of has a point. He’s the worst-dressed man I’ve ever had the misfortune of reading about.

You aight to be a shamed of yourself looking any kind of way! How else are gonna get a woman if you keep looking like filth all the fucking time! And cleaning yourself up for once!" she yelled at him.

Carts: You tell him, Aunt Tracy!

Twilight: Is it bad that I kind of like this character?

She then turned to dillon and yelled at him "and as for you dillon! I don't ever want you to do what you did tonight do you hear me dammit!" she said as she smacked him across the face making a large bruise on his face appear,

Twilight: That’s a fast bruise, right there.

as he then walked inside the house to his room.

As Clayton saw his cousin walk inside the house, he caught his aunt getting ready to slap him as well as he then pulled out his yamato sword out from behind his back and cut her hand open making her scream in pain. "ah! You little fucking asswhole!

Twilight: As opposed to an asspart.

Why I ought to-" she stopped talking as he pointed his katana at her neck.

"you ought to what bitch. Try and hit me like you do my cousin every single day just because your divorced and his dad isn't worth shit and doesn't want anything to do with him.

Carts: Sorry, was that a question?

You may be able to get away with treating dillon like worthless shit in your house. But if you even think about hitting me like you were about to do a minute ago. I will gladly kill your ass for FREE!"

Carts: That’s a good deal, suicide booths are normally 25 cents.

he said with rage as he walked off the front porch and put his katana away, as he turned around to face her with a cold dark glare.

"and for your information you stupid bitch. I have a girl.

Rarity: Who’s also a cartoon pony.

Twilight: Eh, details.

I just don't run my mouth like you do all the fucking time" he said as she slammed the front door and got on his chopper and drove off. While inside his room dillon walked over to his window and waved his hand for fluttershy to come inside, she flew down into his window and landed on his bed.

Rarity: She then sprinkled him with pixie dust and they both flew off to Neverland.

She looked at him with concern in his eyes "d-dillon what was that all about outside?. I mean....if you wanna talk about it that is. It's ok if you don't want to I understand" she said looking away shyly, dillon then sat to her and looked at her "my mother is a monster. She is my bro's aunt and she is the opposite of my bro's mother.

Carts: Wait, wouldn’t the opposite of a mother be a father, not an aunt?

Where my mom is always putting me down and always beating me up because my dad left us and wants nothing to do with me. She always called me a mistake and no matter what do I'm always beaten up and being put down for everything everyday. It's been that way since i was little" dillon finishes tearing up a bit.

Rarity: Why would you tear up a perfectly good bit when you could buy something with it?

Fluttershy looks at him and starts to tear up as well, "that's horrible. Nopony or anypony should suffer like that. Not ever" she said as she put her hoofs around him, making him smile a little bit "thanks fluttershy. You really know how to make me feel better" he said to her making her blush a little bit. He then puts her on his lap and held her in his arms lovingly as she laid her head into his chest.

Twilight: And nothing sexual happened at all.

Carts: Yet.

CLAYTON'S HOUSE

as Clayton was speeding off on the road rainbow dash was holding her hoofs around his waist so as to not fall off the bike. As they were speeding she then decided to break the silence "so what was all that yelling about at your cousins place?" she asked him. Clayton replied "just family matters

Rarity: With Steve Urkel.

nothing more"  they then arrived at his home as he stopped half way in the driveway and turned off his chopper. As they got off the bike rainbow dash flew next to his side as they stopped at the front door, clayton turned to her. "now rainbow dash I'm going to warn you now that once you walk into this house my family is going to love and tolerate the shit out of you".

Carts: When I need to shit, I find laxatives tend to work better than love and tolerance, personally.

Rainbow dash looked at Clayton with a serious look and nodded, as he nodded back he pulled out his house key and opened the door "after you my dear" he said making her giggle a bit as she flew into the house. As he shut the door behind him he saw his parents watching tv in the den, he smirked as he then began to speak "mom. Dad I'm home. And I brought our future daughter in law home with me as well" he said with a sly grin across his face making rainbow dash stick her tongue out at him. His father then paused the tv

Twilight: With Comcast, you can pause live TV!

"hey bud welcome home. And what do you mean by you brought our futu-" he stopped talking as he the stared wide eyed at the flying cyan pony in the house.

Rarity: She was flying around their house?

"hun what's wrong?" clayton's mother said looking worried at his father. "look behind you" his father said with a hint of joy in his voice, his mother turned around and she had her mouth drop at what she saw.

Rarity: Quick, pick up her mouth and put it in some ice, they can re-attach it!

"what the? How the? What in the world?" was all she could say, "mom. Dad. I'd like for you both to me rainbow dash. Rainbow dash these are my parents" Clayton said to her.

Rainbow dash scratched the back of her head with her hoof as she chuckled nervously. "hehe hi. it's very nice to meet the both of you" she said sheepishly as clayton's parents got up from there seats and did the one thing that she didn't expect: hug her.

Carts: The ONE thing? So she was expecting them to kiss, shoot, stab, and massage her?

His mother broke the hug crying in joy "oh my god. Hunny. our prayers have been answered. Rainbow dash is here . In our world. Oh this is so wonderful"

Carts: Wait, I thought they were just being sarcastic about Clayton and Rainbow Dash in Chapter One. You mean that they really DID want their son to hook up with a cartoon pony?

Twilight: Apparently.

she said, his father nodded in agreement with her as he then turned to his son. "how in the world did this happen bud?" his father asked him, Clayton smiled at his parents reactions to rainbow dash "well you guys. She is not the only one here. The whole main six are here as well" he said with pride, his parents then looked at him puzzled

Twilight: Until their puzzler was sore.

"the whole main six are here. Were are they?" his mother asked him. "with my other brony family of course" he said making his father stop hugging rainbow dash and look at him with a serious face, "and I take it that fluttershy is with your cousin?"

Rarity: Wow, another psychic in this story!

he said in a serious tone. This make clayton's face turn from a smile to shock he forgot that not only was dillon in danger of his own mother,

Carts: He forgot, even though he had slashed her hand open with a katana not five minutes earlier.

but fluttershy was as well. "crap I forgot all about tracy" he said as his father put his hand on his shoulder "well. Let's hope that dillon knows how to use that windmill shriken that you bought him for Christmas last year on her if she ever lays a single finger on fluttershy" he said to him making his mother chuckle a bit.

Twilight: Tee hee! Physical violence against my own sister is funny!

Clayton sighed and nodded at his father before walking past him and taking rainbow dash out of his mothers arms making her pout like a kid. Clayton and rainbow dash laughed at seeing that "well were gonna go get some sleep. Will see you two in the morning"

Rarity: Two in the morning? That’s awful early.

rainbow dash said to his parents happily, "ok you two goodnight and Clayton be sure to wear protection if you two are gonna be up all night ok" his father said with a thumbs up making the two blush madly as they closed the door.

All three: WHAT!?

As soon as Clayton turned on his celling light rainbow dash then got out of his arms and flew to his bed,

Carts: Wait, so they’re actually going to sleep together?

Rarity: That’s what his dad implied.

Twilight: I think I’m going to throw up!

"woah!. Your room is so cool!" she said looking at his posters and tv stand holding his playstation 3 on it. He smiled as he then walked into the bathroom to change into his pajamas, as he was getting changed rainbow dash looked at the wall next to the bathroom and saw his Yamato katana.

Twilight: But I thought it was on his back?

"hey clayton" rainbow dash asked him as he walked out of the bathroom in his room shirtless making her blush wildly as she then brushed it off.

"what is that thing?"

"oh that. Well rainbow dash that is my katana"

"what's a katana?"

Carts: “Oh, just a little something that weaboos like to carry around.”

"a blade that cuts things. Mostly our own kind"

"why do you carry it with you then?"

Rarity: “Because I’m not 21 and can’t get my CCW permit yet; this is the next best thing.”

“so I can use it to protect the people and ponies that I love the most".

Rainbow dash didn't know what to say after hearing that, all she did was stare at his half naked body and his Yamato sword and thought about him using it without a shirt started to make her blush extremely.

Twilight: But… but WHY?

Clayton then walked over to the bed and placed his kamina glasses on his night stand next to him,

Carts: Oh, really? I thought he was going to sleep while wearing them.

as he then got under the covers rainbow dash got in under the covers with him. He looked at her into her big red eyes and smiled at her as he then sealed his arm around her and pulled her close to him making her blush more. "goodnight rainbow dash" he whispered to her sweetly "goodnight Clayton" she whispered back to him as she rested her head on his shoulder and held onto his right arm.

Twilight: So they ARE sleeping together!?

Carts: Yes, but I guess they aren’t, you know, sleeping together.

Rarity: You don’t know that.

Carts: *shudder*

GOVERNMENT HQ- 6:00 am

Meanwhile inside the building downstairs in the basement three men were standing next to a large  metal ring in the wall.

One of the men spoke

Twilight: Wait, describe this metal ring. How large? What kind of metal? Was there something inside of the ring? TELL ME!

Carts: Now come on, he doesn’t want to over describe things or be too wordy.

Twilight: Oh, you mean like he’s been doing this ENTIRE STORY!?

"shall I start the machine for him to arrive black haze?", the other man who had on a white long sleeve shirt, black work business pants,

Carts: They’re called slacks, Kyuubi.

long white hair and a mustache known as black haze

Rarity: His mustache was named black haze?

gently nodded at him to do so "yes vanish. If you may please".

Vanish smiled darkly as he then flipped the switch causing the metal ring to open and show a blue and black energy aurora inside, once it was opened the metal ring then shot out a strange creature onto the ground. As it rose up to look around to see it's surroundings. The third man who was was wearing an all black suit and had black spiky hair walked up to the creature and smiled at it "welcome lord discord".

Carts: Okay, Chapter End, I think it’s time for a break.

Twilight: I just can’t believe it! This author spends entire paragraphs describing mundane shit like opening doors and walking up stairs, but yet he won’t describe this novel metal-ring machine at ALL!?

Carts: Maybe he just doesn’t have an imagination.

Twilight: I think you might actually be right. Think about it. I mean, listen to the way he describes everything. He just lists off brand names like Gap or American Eagle or Hummer or whatever. It’s like he just looked in his closet and started writing about his clothes.

Carts: And then he includes graphic detail about opening doors, closing doors, walking up stairs, walking up driveways...

Rarity: So, any guesses for which of these characters is based off of the author in real life?

Carts: I’m going to go with either Clayton or Max. I mean, they’re obviously the heroes of this story, and Clayton has a quote-unquote “badass” sword, and is an obvious Gary Stu, so probably him.

Twilight: I think I’ll go with Dillon, actually. Kyuubi probably just wishes he could be like Clayton or Max.

Rarity: What about Lucy? Could he be Lucy?

Twilight and Carts: No.

*buzzer*

ALL: WE’VE GOT STORY SIGN!

Sonic In Ponyville by Ice Bolt

Hello, everypony. CartsBeforeHorses here, serving up another heaping pile of fanfiction! Today’s story is called Sonic In Ponyville, and it’s a crossover about... you guessed it, Sonic the Hedgehog goes to Equestria. And stuff happens. This story has horrible grammar and spelling, almost as bad as F.A.T.E. It also suffers from an incoherent plot, a boring and lackluster narrative, and a tacked-on, last-second romance in the final few paragraphs of the final chapter. If you want to read the original, it’s here.

CartsBeforeHorses: Ah, and with that final box, all of my stuff is moved in to my new house!

*Knocking on the door*

Carts: Who could that be?

Twilight Sparkle: Hello, Carts.

Carts: Oh, hi Twilight! Here to see my new cottage?

Twilight: I sure am.

Carts: Well, come on in! So as you know, Pinkie Pie is probably going to keep me in Ponyville trapped in this unicorn body and riffing these stories for the forseeable future...

Twilight: Believe me, I’m well aware. You’re not the only one that I do this with, you know.

Carts: So after we got done reading The Northern Incident, I figured I might as well settle down here. So with my money, I decided to buy this cottage.

Twilight: Where’d you get the money?

Carts: Um... We can talk about that later. But come on in! So, here’s my living room. You can see that I have a few couches, chairs, even a flatscreen TV!

Twilight: That’s nice.

Carts: Over here is my bedroom.

Twilight: Nice king-sized bed there.

Carts: Thanks. And here’s the bathroom, in case you ever need to use it while you’re here.

Twilight: Nice whetstone you have there. Is that for your horn?

Carts: Yeah, turns out if you don’t sharpen the dang thing like every few days, it just grows and grows until it reaches the ceiling. It’s kind of like fingernails. Glad I don’t have those anymore.

*Knocking at the door*

Carts: Who could that be?

Rainbow: Carts! Carts! You gotta let me in, man! Pinkie Pie is after me for this prank I pulled on her!

Carts: Well, come on in, I guess. Even though you assist her in making us read those horrible fan-fictions.

Rainbow: Well, I promise I won’t make you read any while I’m over here.

Carts: It’s a deal.

Pinkie (from TV): Ah, there’s the meanie rainbow-maned mare who replaced my shampoo with super-glue!

Twilight (laughing): Wow, Pinkie, you look ridiculous! Look at that hair, it’s like dreadlocks or something!

Carts: Well, you can have her back, if you want.

Pinkie (from TV): Or, I can make her read a fan-fiction with YOU GUYS! Starring her and a certain other protagonist!

Rainbow: Gulp.

Pinkie (from TV): Yes, it’s called Sonic In Ponyville.

Carts: Ooh, there’s a Sonic in Ponyville? The drive-in burger restaurant? I love that place!

Pinkie (from TV): No, Sonic the Hedgehog, silly!

ALL: Oh, no.

Pinkie (from TV): Yep, so you should get started, because this intro has gone on long enough!

*buzzer*

ALL: WE’VE GOT STORY SIGN!

This Chapter is the prologue.

Chapter 1 A normal Sonic day.

On the plant Mobuis,

Carts: Mobius is a plant? I thought it was a planet.

Twilight: No, it's a plant. Also known by its scientific name, Mobuis Pseudoplatanus.

Sonic was trying to take a day off from saving the world, but knowing Eggman, Sonic wasn't going to get that, "This time, I will win." Eggman said to Sonic as he watched Sonic alseep on the beach from his Egg Ship.

Rainbow: Quick, Sonic, take a day off while Eggman’s asleep on the beach!

Carts: Wasn’t there a Counting Crows song called “Sonic on the Beach (For An Eggman)?”

"That's what you think Eggman." Sonic said to

Rainbow: no one in particular.

Eggman.

Eggman then looked at the screen and saw Sonic was gone and was behind him as Super Sonic, "But.. but how?" Eggman asked Sonic.

Rainbow: Big deal, I can do that, too.

"Aren't you forgeting

Twilight: an extra “t”?

my Super Form, I have all seven Chaos Emeralds with me." Sonic said to Eggman.

"I wasn't planing on trying to kill you, I mean it." Eggman said to Sonic.

Carts: While crossing his fingers behind his back.

"Yeah right, the last time you said that, you drained the power of The Chaos Emeralds and made me an Werehog." Sonic said to Eggman.

Carts: Previously, on Sonic in Ponyville!

Rainbow: Hey, if you already don’t know the Werehog canon, then you aren’t a true Sonic fan.

Carts: At least I didn’t misspell “Mobius” in the first ten words of my story like Ice Bolt.

"No, I mean it this time, I've turned over a new leaf." Eggman said to Sonic.

Twilight: A mobuis leaf?

Sonic asked Eggman as he came out of Super Form "Just leave me along  for once,

Carts: Get along, little Sonic!

is that too much to ask for?"

"Gotch yeh." Eggmans said to Sonic as an glass dome come out of the ground traping Sonic.

Carts: Who could’ve seen THAT coming?

Twilight: There’s so many spelling errors that I can’t even start to count.

"Your really going to try the same trick again?" Sonic asked Eggman.

"No, this time your going to another world, with out The Chaos Emeralds." Eggman said to Sonic.

Sonic then went Super again

Rainbow: after collecting fifty rings and jumping.

as Eggman turned on the device to send Sonic to another world. The now Super Sonic said to Eggman "If I'm going to another world then The Chaos Emeralds are coming with me.

"WHAT, ABORT ABORT."

Carts: I wish the author had said this when he started writing this fanfic.

Eggman Shoulted but to no luck there was an bright light and Super Sonic was gone along with The seven Chaos Emeralds.

"Computer, search the world Sonic was tooken and find the Chaos Emeralds." Eggman said to his computer.

Twilight (in computer voice): Negative. Do not recognize command.

In the other world

As the bright light vanished Sonic saw all The seven Chaos Emeralds go flying all over this new world but was able to keep the light blue Chaos Emerald, but felt somethink inside of him,

Carts: The emeralds were thinking inside of him?

he felt like he had some how absorbed the power of The Seven Chaos Emeralds. When Sonic reached the ground it was day time, he looked around and found he was in a place that almost looked like The Green Hill Zone

Twilight: Except, nothing like the Green Hill Zone.

but Sonic knew it wasn't, Sonic said to him self "So much for an hoilday, I better find The Chaos Emeralds."

Carts: Ah, the old tried and true Sonic plot.

Rainbow: But just watch Ice Bolt screw it up.

Sonic then saw an mountain not far from him and did what he was best at and ran towards the mountain at super sonic speed. After a lot of fast wall running, jumping and curling into a blue speeding ball he made it to the top, he saw an small town not far from where he was, well to Sonic it wasn't far, Sonic asked him self "Where the hell am I?"

Rainbow: “I’m in a horrible fan-fiction!”

Sonic then heard screaming below him and looked down, he saw an unicorn pony with a lavender body and a dark purple mane and tail with pink and purple streaks running through it, Sonic could see that she was being chased but some Eggbots and they had cornered her up one of the mountain walls,

Twilight: If only I could teleport away or something!

Carts: Well, Twilight, to be fair to the author, a lot of times you forget to do that in the actual show.

Sonic's hero ego kicked in and he jumped off the top of the mountain and sky dived his way down.

Twilight: Breaking every bone in his body.

Hope you liked the first chapter and remember Read and Review

Carts: Guys, remember Read and Review?

Rainbow: “Read and Review?” That PBS show hosted by Levar Burton?

Twilight: Oh, yeah, I loved that show as a kid!

Chapter Two: I’m Sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog

When Sonic get near the ground he landed on both feet and went into an full on sprint towards the Eggbots, when he get near the Eggbots he jumped into the air and curled into a blue ball and started to home

Rainbow: He’s going home already? He hasn’t even found the emeralds!

in on the Eggbots, one by one they fell to Sonic's homing attack and blow up, Sonic stoped at the last Eggbot and taped it with his foot

Carts: Scotch or duct tape?

and it fall over and blow up, Sonic then saw the lavender unicorn pony looking at him partly scared of him and partly full of hope, that he wouldn't attack her.

Sonic then said to the lavender unicorn pony "It's ok, I won't hurt you, The name's Sonic, Sonic the hedgehog the fasted thing alive."

Rainbow: “I haven’t eaten in two weeks!”

The lavender unicorn pony said to Sonic "My name is Twilight Sparkle, thank your for saving me Sonic, do you know what those things that attack me are?"

Twilight: This must be Shadow Twilight; there’s no way I’d speak with that bad of grammar.

Carts: Hell, there’s no way APPLEJACK would speak with that bad of grammar.

"Sure do, their called Eggbots, made but the evil Doctor Eggman, and before you ask their from another world and so am I." Sonic said to Twilight Sparkle.

Twilight then looked at the small town not far from them and Sonic saw an worryed look in her eyes. She asked Sonic "Sonic, can you help me save me friends,

Carts: Save me friends?

Twilight: “Arrrgh, save me mateys!”

I worryed about them?"

"If you have time to worry then run." Sonic said to Twilight.

Sonic then picked Twilight up and she asked Sonic "What are you doing Sonic?"

"You'll see, just hold on." Sonic said back to Twilight.

Sonic then ran to the town in record time

Rainbow: Well, since he had never run to the town before, I guess it’s technically a record...

and put Twilight down on the ground.

"Wow your fast." Twilight said to Sonic.

"Thanks, where's did you last see your friends?" Sonic asked Twilight.

"I'm not sure." Twilight said to Sonic.

Twilight: Wow. In this story, Ice Bolt made me more helpless than Fluttershy.

Carts: Sonic-In-Ponyville Twilight makes Fluttershy look like Hulk Hogan.

Then an voice asked "Twilight is that you?"

"Rainbow Dash?" Twilight asked out to the voice.

Then a sky-blue pegasus pony with rainbow-striped mane and tail came out of hiding.

Rainbow: Hiding? HIDING? Rainbow Dash hides from nopony!

"Twilight who is this?”

Sonic said to Rainbow Dash "I'm Sonic, Sonic the hedgehog."

Carts: “Hedgehog, Sonic Hedgehog. 007”

"Sonic saved me from those things, he said their are called Eggbots." Twilight said to Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash turned around and said "Everypony, Twilight's here and she's got a friend with her."

Then an orange earth pony with an blonde mane and tail and was wearing an cowbow hat and her mane and tail was tied back, an pink earth pony with magenta mane and tail, an yellow pegasus pony with pink mane and tail and an white unicorn pony with a royal purple mane and tail came out of hiding.

Carts: I’m glad he spent an entire paragraph describing these ponies when we already all know what they look like from the show.

Twilight then asked the all "Where's Spike?"

Rainbow: “I don’t know, Twilight, he’s YOUR servant.”

"That big metal monster took him." The pink earth pony said to Twilight.

Sonic then started to think of all the robots Eggman had used against him over the years, his mind flashed to Egg Wyvern that Eggman used, when he kidnapped Elise the princess of Soleanna,

Carts: Ice Bolt is bringing up Sonic 2006? I gotta hand it to him, that takes a big set of internet cojones.

but that was in the past or really it didn't happen after the flames of Disaster was put out, what Sonic remembers didn't happen, but Sonic knew it did and he stoped it. Sonic then asked "Did it happen to look like an wyvern?"

"Yes and who are you?" the yellow pegasus asked Sonic.

"I'm Sonic, Sonic the hedgehog the fastes thing alive." Sonic said to yellow pegasus.

Twilight: “I’m Twilight, Twilight Sparkle, the most magical unicorn alive!”

Carts: Twilight, you don’t need to brag.

Then Sonic heard the roaring of the Egg Wyvern. Sonic turned around as he heard Eggman laughing "HO HO HO,

Rainbow: “MERRY CHRISTMAS!”

I'll be taking that Chaos Emerald off you Sonic."

"I don't think so Eggman." Sonic said to Eggman and was off like an speeding bullet and jumped into the air and did an homing attack on the Egg Wyvern only for Eggman to hit Sonic with the right metal wing of the Egg Wyvern.

Carts: It’s a good thing he didn’t hit him with the wrong metal wing.

Sonic got up and asked Eggman "But how?"

Rainbow: “How on earth did a solid object ever hit ME!?”

"This time, your going to lose Sonic

Twilight: and have to use a continue.

and I'll rule the world." Eggman said to Sonic.

Sonic was get full of anger and said to Eggman as he started to lift of the ground "I will not let you win."

Then there was a bright light and Sonic was Super Sonic. Eggman said "What? Super Sonic, but how? You need all seven Chaos Emeralds."

Carts: He has a point. But I’m sure that Ice Bolt will pull something out of a certain orifice to explain it.

Sonic flew right into the Egg Wyvern and made a hole in the middal and went inside it and came out of the other end carrying an purple and green dragon as the Egg Wyvern went boom, Sonic placed the purple and green dragon on the ground and saw Eggman had somehow get his Egg Ship in this world

Twilight: “How on earth did he do that? He must’ve used some sort of transporter!”

and was fleeing, but Sonic couldn't go after him as he had to devert back to his normal non flying and unstopable self so he wouldn't pass out.

Carts: So he’s unstoppable as regular Sonic, too?

Sonic could hear Eggman shoulting "YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE LAST OF ME, I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS SONIC THE HEDGEHOG."

Then Twilight and her friend came up to Sonic, Twilight asked Sonic "What just happend to you, and what are Chaos Emeralds?"

Twilight: “Sonic, can you please give us all some more exposition?”

"Chaos Emeralds are seven powerful gems in my world, I need just one to Chaos Control, but I'm still learning to use that, most of the time me and my have to find the seven Chaos Emeralds while saving the world, I then use the power of the seven Chaos Emeralds, to become Super Sonic, While I'm Super Sonic, I'm faster, stronger, unstopable and a aerial version of my self." Sonic

Carts: bragged

said to Twilight and her friends.

"And that thing you was destroyed was after them?" Rainbow Dash asked Sonic.

"Hold on, first things first, you know my name, but I don't everyones name." Sonic said to Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow: Oh, I’m sorry, where are my manners?

The orange earth pony then said to Sonic "Name's Applejack, and it's everypony."

Carts: “But I thought you said that it’s Applejack?”

The yellow pegasus pony then said to Sonic in an shy voice "I'm Fluttershy."

Then the pink earth pony said to Sonic in an hyperactive tone "I'm called Pinkle Pie."

Twilight: Pinkle pie? Who’s that?

Rainbow: Oh, I think that’s Pinkie’s twin sister.

Carts (Singing): Pinkle, pinkle, little Pie. When Ice Bolt wrote this, he was high.

Then the white unicorn pony said to Sonic "My name is Rarity."

Twilight then said to Sonic "And the purple and green dragon is called Spike, I hatched him from an egg as part of my admission exam."

Then the purple and green dragon called Spike said to Twilight "I can speak from my self you know."

Twilight: What!? I’ll have to remember to spank him for that later.

"That's much better, now that think was an robot, a robot is not a living person, they just follow their programing,

Rainbow: “Um, Mister Sonic, what’s programming?”

which their maker the evil Doctor Eggman has programed his Eggbots to kill me, Eggman has made all sorts of devices that can use the Chaos Emeralds power on me, but always need all seven of them." Sonic said to everyone.

Carts: Well that’s hardly fair on Eggman. He needs all seven emeralds but Sonic only needs one?

"So, that was Super Sonic?" Rainbow Dash asked Sonic.

"Yep, pretty cool, don't you think?" Sonic asked Rainbow Dash.

"Sounds cool." Rainbow Dash said to Sonic.

Rainbow: I have to applaud Ice Bolt for not having me say “20% cooler.”

Carts: Thank Celestia.

"Hello I had just been Super Sonic, but the thing is while in Super form, my enegry goes like hell, but that's to stop me being Super Sonic all the time." Sonic said to Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow: “When I fly, my wings get tired, but that’s to stop me from flying all the time.”

Twilight then steped in before Sonic and Rainbow Dash got into an argment

Rainbow: We were about to get into an argument? It seemed like the two of us were hitting it off pretty well, actually.

and asked Sonic "So, I guess, your staying for a bit then?"

Twilight: “No, but I’ll stay for TWO bits!”

"I have to, I just can't leave the Chaos Emeralds here." Sonic said to Twilight.

Carts: So you’re staying in Ponyville so that you don’t have to leave the emeralds there? Um... okay?

"Well too night is Nightmare Night, I hope your not screamish." Rainbow Dash said to Sonic with an evil grin.

Carts: Sonic isn’t Screamish, he’s Scotts-Irish.

Twilight: Sonic O’Hedgehog.

Sonic saw Rainbow Dash's evil grin and said "What could be more scarer the tuning into an an Werehog with arms that can very stretchy arms and claws every night,

Twilight: That horrid spelling and sentence structure is FAR scarier.

because that had happend to me once, but that hasn't happend to me for years now."

Rainbow Dash's evil grin disappeared and she was in shock at what Sonic said happen to him, Twilight asked Sonic "How did you end up turning into an Werehog every night?"

"Eggman." Sonic said to Twilight.

Later at sun set, Ponyville had been rebuilt from the damage it took in Eggman's attack,

Carts: Wow, that was fast.

Twilight: Yeah, we’ve actually gotten pretty expert at rebuilding, considering that the town gets destroyed about fifteen times a year.

Sonic had been accepted in Ponyville of scaring off Eggman,

Twilight: I’m glad that the residents Ponyville have accepted reality.

and Princess Celestia was also thankful of Sonic's heroic act. Sonic was not far from outside the town, he was able to keep the device that Tails made to find the Chaos Emeralds,

Rainbow: Oh, you mean that device that this is the first we’re reading about it?

and it had picked up, not far from Ponyville. Rainbow Dash went with Sonic, hoping she would get the chance to scare him, "You sure it's around here Sonic?" Rainbow Dash asked Sonic.

Twilight: Oh, really? I thought that she asked that question to someone else.

"If I know one thing, any think made by Tails, is alwasy right." Sonic said to Rainbow Dash.

Twilight: If I know one thing, any sentence written by Ice Bolt, is alwasy wrong.

Rainbow Dash said to Sonic in an unsure voice "If you say so."

Sonic the saw an red glow in the bushes and went over and found that the red glow came from the red Chaos Emerald.

"See, am I right or am I right?"Sonic asked Rainbow Dash.

"Yeah, whatever, see you back at Ponyville." Rainbow Dash said to Sonic as she left to set somethink up to scare the hell out of Sonic.

Rainbow: Wow, even the characters in this story are getting sick of Sonic.

Sonic decided to take a little walk back to Ponyville, he had never seen the starts so bright apart from the time Eggman had made his Eggman land in space.

Carts: His Eggman? I thought it was called an Eggship.

After a while Sonic ran back to Ponyville and was just about to going to Ponyville

Twilight: He was just about to go to the town he had just ran back to.

when he almost hit Twilight as he skidded to an halt and stoped moving right in frount of Twilight.

"Hi Twilight." Sonic said to Twilight.

"You took your time geting back here." Twilight said to Sonic.

But before Sonic could say a thing there was an bright light and he reappeared as Sonic the Werehog.

"Oh man, I hope this is an one nighter." Sonic said to him self.

Carts: Wait, why is he turning into the Werehog again? Is there Dark Gaia in Equestria or some think?

Twilight: I see what you did there.

"Sonic is this?" Twilight asked Sonic, but was unable to finsh as Sonic had said back to her "Yes, my Sonic the Werehog look."

"You know Rainbow Dash has spent all day thinking of a way to scare you too night." Twilight said to Sonic.

Twilight: Silly me, you can’t scare a night!

"Well, now I can scare her." Sonic said Twilight.

Twilight took Sonic to where Rainbow Dash was but Sonic stayed out of sight, Twilight lead Rainbow Dash near to where Sonic was hiding, and Sonic jumped out and let out an roar scaring Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash then saw it was Sonic and she asked Sonic "What the hell! Sonic?"

"Gotch yeh, this is my Sonic the Werehog look, and nice try trying to scare me, it just back fired on you." Sonic said to Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow: “Nice try trying to read a good story, it just backfired on you,” Ice Bolt said to the reader.

The next day Sonic was back to normal, and was think about how scared Rainbow Dash was when he scared her last night.

Twilight and the others came up to Sonic and said to them "Hi guys." Sonic then asked Rainbow Dash "Now who's the scearmish one?"

"Shut up." Rainbow Dash said to Sonic.

Rainbow: THANK YOU!

Sonic then saw an yellow plane he knew coming towards them.

Carts: “Oh yeah, that yellow plane? He and I go WAY back.”

Chapter Three: Sonic’s Day Off

There is no need to worry about the love between Sonic and Dash

Rainbow: What?

as I've got that sorted in the last chapter and by the way, I've made Tails 15 years old as I know, that I'll be flamed for having some at the age of 8 loving someone who is like 9 years older then him.

Carts: What.

As the plane landed near them, Sonic was clost to crying with tears of happness, as an 15 years old light yellow two tailed fox got out of the yellow plane, Sonic ran up to him while shoulting "TAILS!"

Twilight: WHY do you need to specify how old Tails is? I mean, WHY?

Carts: I know, it’s not like it ever says in the games.

Sonic stoped in frount of his best friend who was like a brother to him Tails. Tails said to Sonic "Some place you ended up in this time."

Sonic said to Tails as Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rarity went up to them "You know me, never a dull moment."

Twilight: Oh, yes, especially that RIVETING scene where you were looking in the bushes for chaos emeralds.

"Uhh, Sonic?" Tails asked Sonic as he saw Twilight and her friends behind Sonic.

"I know what's behind me, it's ok, they live in that town not far from here, it's called Ponyville." Sonic said to Tails.

Carts: “Oh, okay, so is that like Hedgehogville back in Mobius?”

Twilight: Carts! No making fun of the source material!

Carts: Sorry, this story is just so BORING!

"Ok, it's just everyones worryed about you, hell even Shadow is trying to find you." Tails said to Sonic.

"You kidding me, Shadow's trying to find me?" Sonic asked Tails.

Tails the said to Sonic "Now that he's going out with Amy, he's lighten up a bit."

Rainbow: He’s turned dark grey instead of black.

"So, what your saying is he's doing for Amy sake?" Sonic asked Tails.

Carts: Yeah, remember when Shadow and Amy started going out?

"Yep, he know's she still cares for you." Tails said to Sonic.

"Well, it's good that someone has broken through that layer of Shadow's." Sonic said to Tails.

Twilight: They broke through the Shadow crust, now they’re in the Shadow mantle.

"Yep, and aren't you forgeting somethink?" Tails asked Sonic.

"Oh yeah, everyone this my best friend and like a little brother to me Tails, Tails this is Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rarity." Sonic said to everyone.

Twilight said to Tails "I can see why, your called Tails."

Carts: We’ve got a genius, here!

Twilight: Shut up, Carts.

Sonic then said to Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rarity "Tails may not look it, but he's a very smart kid, he's made all kinds of things, like that Chaos Emerald detector, that I have on me."

Tails then said to Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rarity as he made his two tails rotate in a circle and lifted off the ground"I'm also able to use my tails to fly."

Rainbow: Big deal. I can do that, too.

Sonic said as Tails landed on the ground "Tails got picked on a lot, for,having to two tails, but look where his high IQ got him,

Carts: A job at Denny’s!

a place at the side of the greates hero knowen in my world."

"I may not be much of a fighter, but everyones good at one thing,

Twilight: Except me, I’m good at a lot of things.

Sonic for his speed, me for being able to fly and our friend Knuckles for his raw power and strength." Tails then said to Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rarity

.

Sonic then said to Tails "And that is what makes us a team."

Rainbow: “REALLY? Listen to these words of wisdom, everypony!”

After Sonic, Tails, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rarity go back to Ponyville with Tails's plane the Tornado, lots of ponys started to crowd around them curious about Tails and the Tornado.

Carts: Step rrrrright up, fillies and gentlecolts, to the amazing TORNADOOOO!

After Sonic and Tails satisfied there curiosity they left them alone.

Tails then looked at Sonic and asked him "You ok Sonic?"

"I'm fine." Sonic said to Tails lieing. The truth was Sonic was still down in the dumps, that he's well need hoilday didn't last long.

"Look, just take a day to sit back and relax." Tails said to Sonic.

"I'm fine." Sonic said to Tails.

Carts: “I’m FINE. GOD!!! Can’t you leave me ALONE!? I’m just PERFECT!!!”

"Look, I know your not happy about not geting your hoilday." Tails said to Sonic.

"But the Chaos Emeralds need finding." Sonic said to Tails.

"No buts,

Twilight: no cuts, no coconuts.

I'll look for them for the rest of the day, I can take care of my self, after all I've been meaning to try out the Chaos Emerald detector, that I've installed on the Tornado." Tails said to Sonic.

"Fine." Sonic said to Tails giving in to his little brother.

Carts: But I thought that Tails was Sonic’s friend? They're brothers? What did their parents look like?

Twilight: I shudder to think.

After a few minutes Sonic, Tails, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rarity where outside Ponyville.

"Be carefull man." Sonic said to Tails.

"When aren't I?" Tails asked Sonic.

Carts: “Well during Sonic 2 you must’ve accidentally gotten killed a hundred times.”

Twilight then said to Sonic "I think one of us should go with Tails."

Twilight and Applejack then looked at Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash said to them "Don't look at me, I'm not babysiting."

Fluttershy then spoke up "I'll go with Tails."

Rainbow: “I guess I’m heads, then.”

Carts: That was a horrible pun.

Rainbow: Sorry, it had to be done!

Rarity then asked Fluttershy "You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure." Fluttershy said to Rarity.

Tails them got into the Tornado Tails and started the Tornado's engine up, as Sonic waved he shoulted to Tails "SEE YOU IN A BIT."

Twilight: “OKAY, BYE!”

Tails nodded and the Tornado started to move and then lift off the ground and Fluttershy followed. Rainbow Dash asked Sonic "Your not going to take it easy, too day are you?"

"Nah, when I make a promise, I keep it." Sonic said to Rainbow Dash.

Everyone then started to walk back to Ponyville, Twilight said to Sonic "You have a lot of faith in Tails."

"Tails is an smart and good kid,

Carts: who doesn’t afraid of anything.

without him and my other friends, I couldn't off beaten Eggman all those times."

ALL: WOAH!

Rainbow: He couldn't have beaten eggman off all those times?

Carts: Let’s try and keep it PG here, Ice Bolt!

Sonic said to Twilight.

Applejack then asked Sonic "So what you going to do now?"

"I'll find somethink." Sonic said to Applejack.

Then Pinkie Pie said to everyone "I know let's have a beach party."

Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Rarity said to Pinkie Pie "That's a great idea."

Sonic did like the idea, but at the same time, he was also unsure about going to the beach because, that was where Eggman had sent him to this world.

Rainbow: So obviously, Eggman is patrolling all of the beaches in Equestria.

Sonic said to everyone "I'm not sure, going to the beach, will go down well with me."

Rainbow Dash asked Sonic "What's up, scared?"

"No, it's just, as I've said, I was having a well needed hoilday, but Eggman tricked me

Carts: In the absolute loosest sense of the word “trick.”

and sent me here." Sonic said to Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Rarity, but they just look at Sonic with an we don't give a dam, you coming if you like it or not face

Twilight: What a specific expression.

while, Pinkie Pie pulled a puppy face at Sonic.

Later at the beach, Sonic was unable to get out of coming, but left a note for Tails and Fluttershy back in Ponyville telling them where they had gone. Sonic had an feeling that some think was going to go wrong, but didn't let the other know as they would of told him to relax. Sonic was also surpriesed

Twilight: That might be one of the top ten most egregious spelling errors I’ve ever seen.

how many ponies Pinkie Pie could get to come to the beach party, there was some that he hadn't see before, and there was all three kinds of the ponys that Sonic knew of in Ponyville.

After a while Sonic could see Tails coming in for landing with the Tornado, followed by Fluttershy, Sonic went up to them and asked Tails "So did it work?"

Tails said to Sonic as he gave him two Chaos Emeralds "Yep, found two Chaos Emeralds."

Rainbow: Gee, sure would’ve been  nice if we, the readers, could’ve seen that.

Carts: Actually, no. The quicker this is over, the better.

"Nice one Tails." Sonic said to Tails.

"Just two more left now." Tails said to Sonic.

"You know, I'm not sure if, I want to go back home now." Sonic said to Tails.

"But you know, you have to." Tails said to Sonic.

Then they hears Knuckles voice say "Yo, Sonic."

Sonic looked behind Tails and saw Knuckles, "Knux, how did you get here?" Sonic asked Knuckles.

Twilight: “Magic!”

"Tails was able to get Eggman's thinge that let Eggman come to this world working again." Knuckles said to Sonic.

Rainbow: And Tails didn’t think to tell Sonic this earlier?

"So, Egghead made device that lets him come to this world, but destoryed it so no could follow him." Sonic said to Knuckles.

"Yep, but he didn't count on one thing." Knuckles said to Sonic.

"Tails." Sonic said back Knuckles.

Carts: To be fair on Ice Bolt, that IS about as much planning and foresight as Eggman has in the actual games.

Then Rainbow Dash came up to Sonic, Tails and Knuckles and asked Sonic "Um.. Sonic, could you take walk with me?"

Carts (singing): I take a walk. Take a walk, take a walk, take a walk.

"Sure." Sonic said to Rainbow Dash, Sonic waved to his friends and walked off with Rainbow Dash.

"Is there somethink, you wanted to ask me?" Sonic asked Rainbow Dash.

"Umm... What is it like in your world?" Rainbow Dash asked Sonic.

Carts: “Rings, rings everywhere!”

"That's not what you want to ask me." Sonic said to Rainbow Dash.

"I umm..." Rainbow Dash said to Sonic feeling scared.

"How about we try this another time?" Sonic aske Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow: Try WHAT?

Rainbow Dash looked at the ground and said to Sonic "Ok."

Sonic then tried to cheer Rainbow Dash up by saying to her "How about a race, first one back to the beach wins?"

Rainbow: The obligatory Sonic vs. Rainbow Dash race that must appear in any Sonic/MLP crossover.

Carts: Yep, it’s actually one of the rules of the internet. Right next to Rule 34.

A smile appeared on Rainbow Dash's face, "Your on." She said back to Sonic and they both went as fast as they could back to the beach.

Twilight: Wait, who won?

Carts: He can’t say without pissing off half of his readers.

Chapter Four: The Last Two Emearlds and Goodbye

The last chapter of this story and I'm still working the sequel called Return to Ponyville on FanFic.Net, but I'll be sure to post this at the same time I post it on FanFic.Net.

The next day, Sonic, Tails and Knuckles where ready to look for the last two Chaos Emeralds, but Sonic said they should regain they enegry, but really Sonic wanted to see if Rainbow Dash was ready to say to him what she wanted to say to him last night.

Twilight: It didn’t seem like she wanted to say anything, actually.

Sonic was walking around Ponyville looking for Rainbow Dash, Sonic didn't know why he was walking, he just felt like it. When he found Rainbow Dash, she didn't notice him until he said to her "Hey Dash."

"Hi Sonic." Rainbow Dash said back to him.

But before they could say anythink else, a fleet of about 20 eggships appeared in the skys over Ponyville and The Egg Dragoon droped out of the sky and landed in frount of Sonic and Rainbow Dash.

Carts: That was quick.

Eggman started to laugth

Twilight: Laught When did Twist start narrating?

"HO HO HO, you can't stop me this time, I've got the last two Chaos Emeralds."

Sonic then went Super and said to Eggman "Eggman, Eggman, I can go Super Sonic anytime I want to,

Twilight: Wow, three “Eggman”s in a row.

Carts: Just in case you forgot who Sonic was talking to.

and guess what, your going to lose."

Sonic then bent back as a ball of gold Chaos enegry started to form in his hands, the ball the became a gold beam and hit The Egg Dragoon making it blow up and Eggman was gone and the last two Chaos Emeralds fell to the ground,

Rainbow: Wow. That might be the lamest climax to any story ever. A single, run-on sentence.

Carts: You could just replace that entire paragraph with “Sonic won” and it’d have pretty much the same effect.

Sonic deverted back to his grounded self as Tails and Knuckles came over to them.

"Sonic, we've got to do some think about Eggman's fleet." Tails said to Sonic.

"Eggman's gone for good, you two stay on the ground and take out any Eggbots you find." Sonic said to Tails and Knuckles.

"Got it." Knuckles said and ran off the smash some Eggbots

Twilight: So quick that Ice Bolt forgot to write about it!

Rainbow Dash then asked Sonic "How are you going to take out those flying things?"

"With Super Sonic, but this time I'm going to need some help, some help from Super Rainbow Dash."

Carts: Super Rainbow Dash is 16-bit instead of just 8-bit.

Twilight: But Genesis does what Raindon’t.

Rainbow: Genesis has BLAST processing, which can run cool games like Sonic the Hedgehog!

Carts: And now we’ve come full circle.

Sonic said to Rainbow Dash.

Then the seven Chaos Emeralds formed a ring around Rainbow Dash, and she started to lift up into the air, then there was a bright light and Rainbow Dash reappeared with a white body and wings with gold mane and tail. Rainbow Dash asked Sonic "What's happend to me?"

Twilight: “Well, since you could already fly, you’re kinda just the same as normal.”

Sonic said to Rainbow Dash as he went Super Sonic again "I've made the Chaos Emeralds lend you their power, to become Super Rainbow Dash, now let's save Ponyville together." and thay flew off towards the Egg fleet and started to take down the Egg ships one by one, Sonic was making the most of this time as he knew, that now he had all seven Chaos Emeralds he would have leave.

Carts: But why can’t he stay?

Twilight: Just be grateful that the author is about to end this abomination.

Later that day, Sonic, Tails and Knuckles was standing in frount of a portal that would take them back to Mobius. Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rarity, where with them to say their good byes to their new friends.

Rainbow Dash said to Sonic "I guess this is it then, it's been fun knowing you Sonic the hedeghog."

"Same here." Sonic said to Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow: Well, this can’t be the end, they haven’t made out yet!

Then the seven Chaos Emeralds then formed a ring hight in the air, and then went flying all over the place again, then there was an shock wave of Chaos Enegry that did some think to Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rarity bodys, they bodys started to chage, thay still had their pony bodys but they had human feet and instead of four legs they had two legs and they frount two legs had been replaced by arms and hands,

Twilight: Oh, okay, so NOT pony bodies.

they also where the same hight as Sonic, Knuckles and Tails, then The Chaos Emeralds came back to Sonic.

Twilight asked Sonic "What's happend to us?"

Carts: This story isn’t even marked with a “Human” or "anthro" tag on FimFiction!

"I think The Chaos Emeralds had removed some kind of curse, it had been said that when all seven come together, a miracle is ment to happen." Sonic said to Twilight.

ALL: A CURSE!? WHAT!?

Rainbow: So us being ponies is a curse!?

Carts: Well, Pinkie SORT of cursed me to be a pony and read horrible fan-fictions, but that’s kind of different. It’s more of a science experiment than a curse, really. Also, without the fanfiction part, it wouldn’t be a curse, it would actually be pretty cool.

Twilight: This has to be a trollfic. I’m convinced of this now.

Rainbow Dash then asked Sonic nervously "Umm... Sonic you know last night?"

Sonic then asked Rainbow Dash "You going to avoid what you wanted to tell me?"

"Sonic, I.. I can't say it." Rainbow Dash said to Sonic.

Rainbow: “I’m trying to resist this horrible romance-out-of-nowhere, but the author is too powerful!”

Sonic walked up to Rainbow Dash as he said "Dash, I feel the same way, about you, that you feel for me."

Twilight: “That you’re an arrogant, braggart jerk?”

Sonic then moved his right hand near Rainbow Dash now human right hand, but she moved it away and asked Sonic "You really mean it?"

Sonic said to Rainbow Dash as he she let him hold her right hand "Yes, I do, I may beleaving now,

Twilight: I know I’m not believing it now.

but if we both believe that we'll meet again the we will."

Rainbow Dash then hugged Sonic and started to cry as she said to Sonic "I love you Sonic, please don't go."

"I have to, but Tails will find a way for me to get back here." Sonic said to Rainbow Dash.

Carts: You mean like that portal that’s still operational?

Sonic and Rainbow Dash then kissed as Fluttershy went up to Tails, Tails went red in the cheeks before she said anythink to him. "Tails, come on you don't need to act like that." Fluttershy said to Tails.

"I'm only 15, and you're like five years older them me." Tails said to Fluttershy.

"You don't have to let age,

Carts: or legality

get in the way." Fluttershy said to Tails before thay hugged.

Sonic then broke the kiss between him and the now two legged Rainbow Dash and said to her "See you again soon."

Then Sonic, Tails and Knuckles went into the portal back to Mobius.

Later that night in both worlds

Twilight: neither

Sonic nor Rainbow Dash could sleep. Sonic went to the Green Hill Zone and Rainbow Dash went to where she last saw Sonic.

The starts where shining bright in the night time sky in both worlds, Sonic and Rainbow both looked at the stars of their own world and said to each other as if they was standing right now to each other "Till we meet again, my love."

Rainbow: Never, hopefully.

Carts: Um, okay, that ending... what the HELL was that!?

Twilight: The most contrived ending to anything that I’ve ever read. Probably even more contrived than The Northern Incident.

Carts: You mean that story where the two main characters decide not to take an incredibly-easy action to save their own lives?

Twilight: The very same.

Carts: I think I might have to agree that Sonic In Ponyville tops it. All it made me do was just yell “why” and “what?” at my screen again and again.

Rainbow: You’ve got that right. Turning into humans for no reason? WHY? A curse that turned them into ponies? WHAT? Rainbow Dash falling in love with Sonic for no reason and with no indication given that she would? WHY? Tails’ “chaos emerald detector” that’s never been in any of the games? WHAT?

Pinkie (from TV): So, wasn’t that story just great, you guys?

Rainbow: NO! Pinkie, you’ve gotta let me out of here! I want to be the one who watches the fanfiction readers, not the one who reads fanfiction with them!

Pinkie (from TV): Have you made your atonement for that meanie prank you pulled on me?

Rainbow: YES! PLEASE!

Pinkie (from TV): Alright, Rainbow, you can come back to the studio with me.

Twilight: Well, thanks for sticking it out with us, Rainbow.

Carts: Just, please. Next time you are picking out fanfictions for us to read, just remember how bad it was when YOU were in here.

Rainbow: I’ll try...

*Rainbow exits Carts’ House*

Twilight: So, what were we doing, again? House tour, right?

Carts: Yes. As you can see, I have real hardwood floors, and over in the kitchen you can see my granite countertops--

Rainbow (from TV): ...NOT! SUCKERS! HAHA!

*Rainbow and Pinkie Pie high-hoof each other*

Carts and Twilight: Ugh.

*TV goes off with a blip*

Smoking Makes You Look Cool by Regidar

Welcome, fellow riff enthusiasts! Today’s story is called Smoking Makes You Look Cool by Regidar. It’s a brand spanking new story that just came out on (June 11, 2013.) It’s a short story about how the Cutie Mark Crusader start smoking cigarettes to be cool. It’s also pretty racist against earth ponies. Yes, even more racist than Carts’ Unicorn Theater. This story goes so far as to misstate facts about the show just to make earth ponies look pathetic! However, there are two good things about this story. 1. It’s short, clocking in at just under 1,500 words! 2. It has very few grammar or spelling mistakes! The original can be found here. /story/108594/smoking-makes-you-look-cool

We join CartsBeforeHorses and Twilight Sparkle in Twilight’s library as Carts is learning new magic.

CartsBeforeHorses: UGGH!

*Carts’ horn sparks as he attempts to light a candle. A small flame appears on the candle, but then fizzles out.*

Wow, I never knew that lighting stuff on fire with magic was challenging.

Twilight Sparkle: Yeah.

Carts: Why not just get a lighter?

Twilight: What’s the fun in that?

*TV Turns on*

Pinkie Pie (from TV): Hello, Carts and Twilie!

Twilight: Hey, only my brother gets to call me Twilie!

Pinkie (from TV): Well EXCUSE ME, Princess!

Twilight: Hey, that’s... Well, I guess I am a princess now.

Rainbow Dash (from TV): Yeah, I’ll bet that takes some getting used to.

Pinkie (from TV): We just saw you trying to light that candle on fire, and we figured we’d just interrupt with a vaguely-related fic called Smoking Makes You Look Cool! It’s about the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and they start smoking to be cool. Also, it has racism in it too.

Carts: We seem to have been encountering that a lot, lately.

Twilight: That’s awful! They’re so young; they don’t need to do such an unhealthy thing!

Carts: Yeah! Kids under age thirteen shouldn’t smoke!

Pinkie (from TV): Well, they do in this story!

Carts: And hey, don’t we normally have a third pony to help us out with the riff?

Rainbow (from TV): Eh, it’s a short fic. You’ll get through it with just the two of you.

*Buzzer*

BOTH: We’ve got story sign!

“I’m bored,” announced Sweetie Belle one sweltering summer afternoon.

“Well so am I, but you don’t here me bitching about it,” Scootaloo said in a pissy voice. Don’t mind her, though, she’s just on her period.

Carts: She’s like, eight, Regidar.

“Guys, Ah know how to solve our boredom problem!”

Twilight: It’s a little game called Minecraft!

That filthy earth pony, Apple Bloom, came skipping down the path, blissfully unaware that she was significantly less endowed than her glorious unicorn master race friend, Sweetie Belle.

Carts: Wow. I mean, yeah, earth ponies suck, and I make fun of them sometimes on this show (since it is called Carts’ Unicorn Theater), but you gotta be more subtle about it than that.

Twilight: Some of my best friends are earth ponies.

“How?” asked the glorious Sweetie, her horn shining majestically in the summertime sun.

Carts: Yeah, you gotta talk up Sweetie Belle’s beauty if you want to get ANYwhere on FimFiction.

Twilight: Especially the feature box.

Apple Bloom reached into her back pocket, which she had installed on her blank butt,

Twilight: Ouch.

and retrieved a small rectangular package. “Ah filched these from Applejack!”

Scootaloo looked at the package, her tiny yet supple pegasus brain working at full capacity to understand what was inside.

“Shit, are those smokes? We can get our smoking cutie marks!”

Twilight: Who has a cutie mark in smoking?

Carts: Um... FDR? The Marlboro Man? That one self-insert from Through The Eyes of Another Pony? Also, there’s cigarettes in Equestria?

Twilight: Yeah. You didn’t know that?

Carts: No! I sure could’ve used them during all of these riffs.

“Applejack doesn’t seem to be the kind to smoke cigarettes, though.

Carts: She seems like more of the crystal meth type, to me.

Are you sure you didn’t get them from Big Mac?” Sweetie asked, slightly confused.

“Of course Ah got them from Applejack! Big Mac’s a sophisticated stallion, he smokes from his pipe.”

Carts: He wears a top hat and monocle and everything!

Of course, Apple Bloom is a wretched earth pony, so the other two couldn’t trust a word she said. Also, she was related to Applejack, the most notorious liar around.

Twilight: She’s the Bernie Madoff of Equestria.

You know how those honest types are.

“Well, what are we waiting for?” Scootaloo said with an eager grin. “Let’s light these faggots up!”

Carts: Ah, another British author. Or just an American who’s trying to flame his audience. No pun intended.

Twilight: British or troll. I don’t know what’s worse.

“Wait, Rarity always told me smoking was bad for you,” Sweetie Belle pointed out.

“It doesn’t matter if it’s bad for us,” Scootaloo said with a roll of her eyes. “It makes you look cool!” Even though she was a meat-headed pegasus, Scootaloo occasionally had flashes of brilliance.

Carts: Emphasis on occasionally.

“Well...” Sweetie Belle said, still rather unsure. “If it’ll make us cool...”

“Once we’re cool, we don’t have to worry about those dumb cunts Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon!” Scootaloo licked her lips. “Hell, we could even make them our rape slaves!”

Just kidding. Rape isn’t funny.

Carts: Unless you’re Daniel Tosh, in which case it’s okay.

Apple Bloom struggled with the package for a few moments, which had a picture of a cool looking camel in shades saying the words “Smoking is the shit!” on the front,

Carts: See, this is why we need plain packaging. If there weren’t a picture of a camel, and instead a picture of diseased lungs, nopony would EVER smoke!

Twilight: I sense your sarcasm.

before finally ripping it open with her teeth, causing cigarettes to fly everywhere. If only she had let her superior friend Sweetie Belle use her magic to open the box, then this disaster could have been avoided.

Twilight: Yeah, being a non-unicorn must suck.

Carts: Sweetie Belle learned to use magic? When did that happen?

Each of the three foals scurried around, sniffing each cigarette individually. It’s how you tell if they’re ripe or not.

Carts: Really? I thought you just look at the cigarette, and if it’s turned from green to yellow then you’re good.

“Dammit, Apple Bitch, I think you got us a bum pack!” Scootaloo grunted, sniffing yet another unripe cigarette.

“Wait, no! I’ve found one!” Sweetie Belle said enthusiastically, scoring yet another point for the unicorn master race.

Twilight: Ten points for Griffindor!

“Ah’ve got one too,” Apple Bloom said, picking one up out of the dirt. Her lips touched the grimy ground, and she felt a bit of excitement. Dirty earth ponies often fornicate with the ground, as is the dirty earth pony way.

Carts: Wow, this story is making ME uncomfortable, and I’m writing a fanfiction about the unicorns breaking away and forming their own kingdom, which is based on Nazi Germany.

Twilight: You know you’ve messed up when Carts is offended. Wait... are you really offended or just using this as a chance to plug The Trouble With Unicorns?

Carts: What? Never! /story/89803/the-trouble-with-unicorns

“Shit niggas, when are you gonna get me a fag to light up?” Scootaloo said with contemptuous intent.

Carts: It better be a menthol, since I’m black!

After a few more moments of sniffing, and Sweetie Belle was so kind as to find another ripe cigarette for Scootaloo. Good girl, Sweetie!

Twilight: Regidar then threw Sweetie Belle a Sweetie Snack.

“Alright, let’s become cool!”

Sweetie Belle used a spark from her horn to magically ignite the cigarettes, and everypony inhaled deeply. Soon, they were all laying on the ground, coughing and sputtering.

Carts: Look, that’s not how you do it. You have to draw the smoke into your mouth, then mix it with air, THEN inhale it.

“Oh god, this was a horrible idea!” Sweetie screeched.

“Why did Ah ever think this would be a good idea?” Apple Bloom spluttered as her inferior earth pony lungs began to fail her.

Twilight: I thought that earth ponies actually had decent stamina. Isn’t that, like, the one thing that they’re good at besides farming?

Carts: Yeah, Regidar, you gotta give credit where credit is due.

“Fuck you, Apple Bloom!” Scootaloo said with a hack and a wheeze.

But, as the three foals lay there asphyxiating, they suddenly began to feel a tingle deep inside of them. In a flash of golden light, they were overcome with the essence of pure cool, as one does when one smokes cigarettes. If you don’t believe me, try it out for yourself.

Twilight: Carts, you smoke, right? Is it true what Regidar says?

Carts: Absolutely.

*Sunglasses fall down from heaven and land themselves in front of Carts’ eyes.*

Carts: YEAAAAAAAAH!

Once the golden light had passed, Scootaloo looked down at herself. She was now in possession of a green hoodie, and looked fucking awesome. “Hell yeah, bitch!”

Twilight: A green hoodie? What, is she Link?

Sweetie Belle looked down at herself too. She was wearing a leather jacket, posses a pair of aviator sunglasses, and was not only adorable but now hardened to the core. “This is so cool!”

It was Apple Bloom’s turn to look down at herself. She was wearing a plaid shirt that were tucked into her shorts,

Twilight: A plaid shirt that were? And this story was doing so well grammatically!

the shorts were way too high, and suspenders that held her pants in place. She wore thick rimmed glasses, and had braces over much larger-than-they-were-before teeth. She also had a fedora placed upon her head. “Swagtastic!”

Carts: Oh, look, she’s a Redditor.

The three friends hoof-fived.

Twilight: Um, wouldn’t it be hoof-oned?

“Now let’s go fuck those bitches up,” Scootaloo said with an evil grin.

“A-and then...” Diamond Tiara said with a sniffle to Silver Spoon “M-my dad picked up the lamp and yelled ‘THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!’ and beat me in the head with it until I p-passed out...”

Carts: So, rape isn’t funny, but domestic violence against a filly is?

Twilight: Guess so.

“Hey, fucknuggets!” yelled Scootaloo as she descended upon the duo. “Your time of fucking with us is over!”

Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara exchanged looks. “Um, actually, we haven’t even talked to you guys since Oktoberfest, so—”

Twilight: I’m sure that would be meaningful if we knew when this story took place in relation to October.

Carts: There’s Oktoberfest in Equestria, too?

Twilight: Yeah, you didn’t know?

Carts: Wow, maybe this place is cooler than I thought.

She was cut off my Scootaloo’s right hook that caught the insidious foal right in the stomach. The silver mare coughed up a bit of blood, then fell to her side.

Sweetie Belle slid over to Diamond Tiara. “No! Please, I’ll do anything! Just don’t—” The filthy earth pony’s already bloody face was beat even bloodier by Sweetie’s glorious swift unicorn punches.

Carts: Um, Twilight? I’m new to this whole being a unicorn thing, so what’s a unicorn punch and how is it different from a regular punch?

Twilight: Magic!

Apple Bloom did her best to contribute, but as a disgusting earth pony her best was not good enough. In an attempt to do a basic buck, she tripped over the fallen Silver Spoon and landed directly on her ugly yellow snout, where her frail and inferior earth pony neck snapped.

Twilight: So the sister of Applejack and Big Macintosh, two of the most physically-fit ponies in Ponyville, snapped her neck just by tripping?

Carts: Um... I guess so.

Scootaloo, ignoring her fallen comrade, continued to kick Silver Spoon in the stomach, sautéing her internal organs.

Carts (in Gordon Ramsay British voice): What? I can’t believe it! That flavor does not work a’toll! Who sautees internal organs anyway? You’re blowing smoke up my arse!

The evil filly cried for Scoots to stop, but there were no breaks on the Scoot Train.

Sweetie Belle, meanwhile, was punching Diamond Tiara all about the head, neck, and chest. In one final last glorious unicorn finishing move, she lifted the dirty earth pony up with her superior unicorn magic, and bucked her right in the ovaries.

Twilight: Yeah, they really need to rebalance the characters in Fighting is Magic. The unicorns are way OP.

Carts: But they did rebalance them, by cancelling the game entirely. Fuck you and your copyright claim, Hasbro!

Diamond Tiara flew high up into the sky,

Carts: Team Rocket’s blasting off agaiiiiiinnnn!

leaving the atmosphere and sailing through time and space all the way to Earth, where she landed in Hoboken, New Jersey.

Carts: Oh, hey, well she’ll fit right in with all those snobs on Cake Boss.

However, her travels through time and space did not leave her unchanged. As she had traveled across the cosmos, she had aged backwards, down to the age of a little filly. Her mane, which exposed to cosmic radiation, gained

Carts: Superpowers.

all the colors of the rainbow, and was blasted into a different style. Due to how fucking cold it is in space, her coat turned a light shade of blue. When Diamond Tiara fell into Hoboken, she landed right in a cardboard box, where a small kitten was currently sleeping. The tiny animal died upon impact,

Twilight: Not Oliver! NOOOOO!

but it cushioned Diamond Tiara’s fall.

Twilight: It’s not the fall that kills you.

“Hi there,” came a voice. Diamond Tiara looked up to see some fat guy covered in cheeto dust.

Carts: Oh, look, another Redditor.

“Uh, what are you doing here?”

Diamond Tiara tried to talk, but her mind had also aged backwards. She could not remember how to articulate words.

And so, the fat guy took Tiara home, probably to molest her and cover her with cheeto dust.

Twilight: He worked in a Cheeto sawmill, after all.

Also, for some reason he kept calling her “Dashie”.

Both: Oh, shit!

Carts: This is, like, the second fic in a row that’s ripped off My Little Dashie! Why can’t people be more ORIGINAL!!!

Twilight: Well, it is pretty popular. Guy gets a pet pony, befriends it, she improves his life. It’s an archetypal story people can relate to. It’s the E.T., The Extraterrestrial of MLP fanfic.

Carts: Oh, is it? What movie is Cupcakes, then?

Twilight: Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Back in Equestria, the remaining Cutie Mark Crusaders high-hooved each other.

Carts: Spiderses?

Twilight: Honey, I Shrunk The Kids.

Carts: Okay, how about It’s A Dangerous Business?

Twilight: Lord of the Rings, obviously.

Carts: The Conversion Bureau?

Twilight: The Matrix.

“Alright! We beat the shit outta them!” Scootaloo said with a grin. Neither of them acknowledged the melancholy death of Apple Bloom,

Carts: Neither did me and Twilight. What about Background Pony?

Twilight: It’s A Wonderful Life.

Carts: Fallout Equestria?

Twilight: Um... I would say Fallout but it’s a video game... um... Atlas Shrugged, maybe?

Carts: Hmm. Well, they’re both dystopias, they both have strong female protagonists, they both have a lot of trains, and they’re both incredibly long. Ayn Rand would be proud.

Twilight: You know what else is incredibly long? This joke. No more questions!

instead leaving her body to rot and eventually become dirt, a state of being that suited her dirty earth pony heritage.

Carts: So, what do unicorns turn into when they die?

Twilight: Magic!

Sweetie Belle looked back at her flank and gasped. “Look, we got our cutie marks!”

It was true. The image of a glorious lit cigarette adorned the flank of Sweetie Belle, and the image of what one’s lungs look like after 20 years of smoking adorned Scootaloo’s.

Carts: Oh no, she’s doomed to be a walking Truth PSA for the rest of her life!

“Let’s celebrate this with more smoking!” shouted Scootaloo in ecstasy.

And so, the two skipped off to enjoy more cigarettes,

Carts (singing): We’re off to get cigarettes, the wonderful wonderful smokes.

where they lived out the next three years of their lives being totally fucking awesome before dying of lung cancer.

Carts: Three years of constant smoking is all it takes to kill a pony?

Twilight: Yeah, our lungs aren’t as strong as humans.

They were chain smokers, what did you expect?

Twilight: How’d they buy all those cigarettes? They’re like, eight.

Carts: They probably went to the Safeway gas station. They never check ID’s at that place!

So remember kiddies: You may die in a horrible fashion from smoking, but at least you’ll look cool.

Both: Yay, it’s over!

Carts: Okay, so there’s cigarettes in Equestria? Can I have some?

Twilight: Um, sure, they sell them over at the corner store--

*Carts teleports away with a flash of light*

Twilight: Where’d you go?

*Carts returns with a carton of cigarettes*

Carts: Kick ass!

*Carts uses his horn to light the cigarette and smokes it, taking several puffs*

Carts: Hey Twi, you got an ashtray in here?

Twilight: Um, actually, I’d prefer if you didn’t smoke in--

Pinkie (from TV): So, how did you like it?

Carts: Like it? I LOVED it! I found out that the most that I’m in for is three years of this reading horrible fanfiction crap! All I have to do is just smoke, smoke, smoke!

Pinkie (from TV): And, you used your first fire spell when you lit your ciggy. I have to say, your magic is getting better!

*Pinkie scribbles some notes on a clipboard.*

Carts: Oh, hey, I guess I did. Cool!

Rainbow (from TV): Come on, Carts, that’s the coward’s way out. Why don’t you just kill yourself?

Carts: What? Never! I’d never give you the pleasure of making me do that!

Rainbow (from TV): But you’d commit slow-motion suicide?

Carts: Um... well, actually... yes! But not intentionally! I mean, some people smoke for years before they die!

Rainbow (from TV): Uh huh. Just keep telling yourself that.

*Carts blows smoke at the TV screen in defiance of Rainbow Dash*

Twilight: Great. Now whenever we do these things, my library will smell like an ashtray.

*TV turns off with a blip*

Mother 3 Meets MLP by Wattwolf

Greetings! CartsBeforeHorses here with a very short riff of a Mother/MLP crossover. Well, that’s what it calls itself, but it seems to be more of a Super Smash Brothers Crossover than anything else. Without further ado, here it is: Mother 3 Meets MLP by Wattwolf.

We join CartsBeforeHorses as he relaxes at his house.

Carts: Wow, we haven’t seen this place in a while, huh. But yeah, I still have this house, I guess. Not like I spend much time here.

*Knock on the door*

Twilight: Hi, Carts.

Carts: Oh, hey, Twilight. How’s it going?

Twilight: Oh, you know. It’s going. I just wanted to take a break from my studies and play some video games. I heard that you have a Wii over here...

Pinkie (from TV): Did somepony say “Wii?”

Carts: Um... not me!

Rainbow (from TV): We would like to riff! Or, rather, we’d like you to riff. This horrible fic. It’s a crossover of Super Smash Brothers and MLP. It calls itself a Mother 3 crossover, but really it’s Super Smash Brothers.

Pinkie (from TV): Silly author of this fic, he needs to get his story straight!

Carts: So it’s a crossover with Super Smash Brothers, a series which is itself a crossover?

Twilight: How meta. It’s a crossover crossover.

*Doors and windows lock*

Carts and Twilight: Story sign!

lucas watched ness light down to the ground

Twilight: Light down to the ground? What does that mean?

Carts: Got me there.

after giving tabuu his final smash. now it was lucas's turn. ness walked over to his friend and put his hand on lucas's shoulder. he could tell lucas was nervous.

Carts: I don’t know why Lucas is nervous, he’s only a multi-millionaire director.

"dont worry" said ness,"you'll do fine. give him all you got"

Twilight: “Except apostrophes and capital letters!”

lucas looked at his friend and smiled. ness has always acted like a big brother to lucas. he was in fact, stronger then lucas in the way of psychic ability.

Carts: I wonder if we’ll ever see a capital letter in this fic?

Twilight: One could only hope.

but lucas had his own methods. and he was willing to show the other brawlers, and tabuu, what he could do. he looked back at everyone else. link gave a supporting nod, kirby gave a wave, mario gave a smile, and the ice climbers gave a jump for joy as lucas walked up to the edge of the cliff they were on.

Carts: But what did Pikachu do? I NEED TO KNOW!

Twilight: What happened to the yellow mouse?

as he got closer, the more he trembled in fear. fox walked over to him.

"want some cover?" he asked.

lucas looked at him.

"yes please" he answered.

Carts: Fox then proceeded to play a crappy version of the Mother theme song.

Twilight: I don’t think he means that sort of cover.

Carts: Eh, whatever.

"then jump onto my airwing" fox said.

fox ran as fast as he could and jumped into his plane. he flipped the on switch, and the airwing came to life.

Carts: It’s ALIIIIIVE!

lucas ran over and jumped on top of the blue jet.

"hold on" fox yelled.

and with that the jet started off at 70mph in 3 seconds. lucas nearly flew off the back of the plane. but as fox said he hung on to the blue plane.

Carts: He must have fingers of steel to hold on against that sort of acceleration.

he heard a tap below him and looked down.

"clear for takeoff. spotlights on you luke!" said fox.

lucas nodded. it was his time to shine, to show everone else what he was made of. lucas jumped off the jet into the black sky. and by using his psychic powers floated above the wounded tabuu with anger in his eyes.

Carts: But then he used up his double jump and had to hit his own ass with lightning to stay in the air.

Twilight: What?

Carts: Yeah. Haven’t you ever played Super Smash Brothers?

"nobody messes with my friends" lucas said under his breath.

he calmed his mind and gathered up all the energy he could into this one attack. the attack that will strike tabuu down for good.

Twilight: Oh, I’m sorry, was that a sentence or something?

lucas looked up to the sky and gave a powerful yell.

"PK...STARSTOOOORM!!!!"

Twilight: Oh my Celestia! Capital letters!

Carts: And they’re all in this ONE SENTENCE!

Twilight: Wattwolf must’ve been saving them all up just for this.

and with that, yellow meteors fell from the sky and hit tabuu with great force. in the cockpit of the blue jet flying around in the sky, fox gave a fistpump.

Twilight: Accidentally hitting the eject button, launching himself out of the cockpit of the plane with no parachute.

he just knew his little friend could pull it off. all the brawlers on the ground gave a loud cheer for lucas. even marth nodded in amazement on how a little boy like lucas or ness was able to pull off something so powerfull with just the mind power and couple of words.

Twilight: Oh, that’s nothing. They should see what I can do with magic.

unable to hold it any longer, lucas opened his eyes and the meteors vanished into thin air. and running out of fuel fox landed his ship onto the cliff where everyone else was.

Carts: He landed right on the edge of a cliff? That’s just asking for trouble.

lucas looked at the croud of friends he had. he have never felt so happy in his life. he then looked at tabuu, who was being surrounded in some sort of light.

"NOOOO!" yelled tabuu.

and with that, tabuu exploded in a greenish-blue light. but out of nowhere, a blue circle took his place,

Carts: The real final boss of Super Smash Brothers: Brawl... the Master Circle!

and lucas felt his body being sucked towards this circle. trying to break free of the pull, lucas tried to get back to the cliff. link took out his master sword, and held it out handle first to lucas's position. lucas tried to grab the handle of the great blade,

Twilight: Making the sword blade slide right through Link’s hands, cutting him horribly.

but the force of the pull was stronger than lucas's psychic ability.and it gave a last great pull, which was enough for lucas to fly into the vortex.

Chapter 2: im where

Carts: Oh, hey, we need to instant message where.

Twilight: Instant message where?

Carts: Yeah, that’s what it just said.

lucas flew out of the vortex. gravity took hold, but so did instinct. lucas preformed a backflip and landed on the ground with his feet sliding about a meter and a half backwards.

he looked up. he seemed to be in some sort of large building. maybe he was summoned here by destiny.

Carts: Destiny? Nah, probably just bad writing.

and in order to get back to his friends, he had to beat some large boss.

Carts: What? But how would he know that?

Twilight: Magic!

he decided to snoop around to see if he could find anybody, or anything. in the shadows, the princess of the night was watching this human infiltrate her sisters home. the gala was upon them, and luna will not have anyone or anything ruin this night.

Twilight: Yeah, that didn’t stop us last time!

Carts: I think she’d be more concerned about a human in Equestria than the Gala potentially being crashed. Just saying.

lucas walked into a large room where there seemed to be streamers hanging from one end of the room to the other.

Twilight: Seemed to be streamers, but actually wasn’t.

Carts: Yeah, all it was was just some spaghetti noodles hanging around.

it looked like a ball room to lucas. cake and other delicates were placed on a table in the back of the room.

Carts: Cake is delicate?

Twilight: You’ve never dropped cake? Yeah, it shatters into a thousand pieces.

Carts: The cake is a lie.

was a party going on, with ghosts?

Carts: Um, no... why would he think that?

a flash of lightning broke lucas's concentration. and a black, winged unicorn appeared in the center of the room.

"human!, what is your cause of being here?!" said the unicorn.

Carts: Wait, how would she know what a human is?

Twilight: Eh, who cares; we need it for the plot.

lucas didnt know what to think. where was he? who was she? how could unicorns make cake.

Carts: Oh, I’m sorry, was that a question? Were you asking how unicorns make cake?

Twilight: Magic!

unless this was like lucas's "teleporter" game at home, in which the cake was a lie.

Carts: No, bad story! Only we as riffers can make those jokes!

and so was the pie, the cookies were real though. but this wasnt a time to think about cake or cookies right now.

Twilight: Yeah, even though we just spent the last three paragraphs talking about it!

"um, i dont know, i was put here throw some portal, or vortex." answered lucas "i have no idea where i am or even if this is my world.

Twilight: I don’t even know the difference between “throw” and “through!”

i need answers"

"well i cant answer those questions for you" said the unicorn "you will leave now, or i will make you"

Twilight: Okay, Luna would never do that. Ever. She’s being completely OOC right now.

lucas didnt want to cause violence, but he did need answers. and he thought that this black unicorn was lying about not having them. lucas gulped. he wished link was here. link had tremendous courage. thats what he needed right now. courage.

Twilight: Courage, and a copy of The Elements of Style by Strunk and White.

Carts: I’m assuming that’s some grammar book?

Twilight: Yeah.

"i would like to see you try" said lucas "how do i know your not lying about my answers. so in order to see if you do, i wont back down from this challange"

lucas created psychic sparks with his fingers and pointed them at the unicorn. to ensure he was ready.

Twilight: Not really helping your case there, Lucas.

"very well" said the unicorn. "i will test your power aganst my own!"

Carts: I will write a story aganst my better judgment.

the black unicorn some how summond blue-silver battle armour

Carts: Great, he spelled armor wrong, too.

Twilight: I think he’s just British.

Carts: Oh, that’s right. I’m so used to seeing spelling errors in this story, I just assumed that was one, too.

on her face and hooves.

lucas looked at his opponent. he could tell she bacame much stronger as before. but he used as much courage as he possibly could and charged at her with full force.

luna

Twilight: laughed at this incredibly stupid display.

used her magic to teleport behind this human boy which shocked lucas causing him to trip and lose his balance.

lucas fell on the ground hard and saw the unicorn above him with a smile on her face.

"HA!" said luna "pathetic. im sure twilight sparkle would have seen that coming.

Twilight: Yeah, I would have.

but then again, your a human. you have no powers. except for your opposable thumbs of course."

Carts: Yes, you have no powers, except for the ones that I just saw you use a few moments ago when you created sparks with your hands!

lucas rolled backwards onto his feet.

"ill show you no power!" lucas said.

Carts: “In other news, rolling blackouts have hit Canterlot after a little human boy destroyed the power grid. Film at eleven.”

lucas calmed his mind and summond some of his psychic power into this attack.

"PK freeze!!"

Twilight: Oh, don’t you mean “pk freeze?” You’ve gone so long without capitalizing any proper nouns, why start now?

lucas yelled. a icy blue ball came out of lucas's head and headed toward the unicorn. this attack shocked luna.she didnt know humans could create ice!

Carts: We can’t, actually, but okay.

the ball exploded and froze luna into a block of ice. lucas nodded with success. if only link were here to see his courage.

lucas walked over to the block of ice he created. the black unicorn was stareing at him.

Twilight: For the record, Luna’s not really black. She’s more purple, if anything.

well, he should get her out of there.

lucas pulled back his hands. he didnt need to calm his mind with this attack. it was simple

"PK fire!" he yelled while thrusting his hands forward. a tiny ball of

Carts: cotton

fire

Carts: Oh.

was hurdled to the block of ice. as it came in contact the fire ball exploded, causing the ice to explode as well in chain reaction thrusting the unicorn into the air.

luna landed on her feet. this human was differant from the others on the other side of the world.

Carts: On the other side of the world? What?

Twilight: Got me there. This author is talking out of his plot.

he was surely something.

"i seemed to underestemate your power human. however, you have seemed to underestemate mine as well!"

luna shot a purple-blue beam of magic at lucas. however lucas reacted quickly and jumped over the beam. he thought the unicorn could control this magic and move it upwards, as he came down. lucas ignited his psychic magnet in front of himself. he didnt need to say anything with this power.

Carts: And technically he didn’t need to say anything with the OTHER powers, either, he just did because he thought it sounded cool.

Twilight: But in reality, it just made him sound like a dork.

as he suspected the unicorn shot the magic beam directly at the big blue ball in front of lucas, protecting him from her attack. the psychic magnet also had a second effect. it gave lucas health. making him become more confident.

luna was sure her magic could get through that shield, but she was wrong. she stopped her spell. and lucas put out his defenseive manuver, ready for this unicorns next attack.

Carts: Robot Unicorn Attack 2!

"luna, whats going on?" said a different voice that just came into the room. a white unicorn walked up to the black unicorn.

Twilight: “A white unicorn walks up to a black unicorn” is actually the beginning of a racist joke.

"im sorry sister" said the black unicorn, who was named luna

Carts: NO, REALLY?

"but this human infiltrated the castle. and i didnt want him to ruin the gala."

Twilight: “So, naturally, I challenged him to a fight to the death!”

Carts: “Sending magical energy all over the room, ruining all the decorations!”

the white unicorn smiled at her sister. "i understand luna, but thats no way to treat a guest"

"yes sister, i apologize" said luna.

the white unicorn walked over to lucas.

"i am very sorry for my sister attacking you, my name is princess celestia, and this is princess luna"

lucas looked at this princess. what kind of world was this?

Carts (singing): A whole new wooooorlllld...

"um, my name is lucas, and your sister didnt attack first. i admit that i did. but she was the one who challanged me. and i accepted. im sorry. are you wounded at all princess luna?"

"a little cold" answered the princess. "but nothing more"

celestia smiled at this human. completely turning from foe to friend.

"im glad" said lucas "i was put here through some portal. i dont know where i am or even if im in the same world i came from"

Carts: Nah, you’re still on earth, you’re just in the talking pony part of earth.

"do talking unicorns come often in your world?" asked celestia.

lucas shrugged.

Carts: I mean, he’s just a kid. He still thinks Santa Claus is real, after all.

"well lucas" said celestia "allow us to be the first to welcome you to equestria"

"um....where?" answered lucas.

Pinkie (from TV): And that’s all she wrote!

Carts: What?

Twilight: That was short.

Rainbow (from TV): Yeah, but we figured it was still worth riffing.

Carts: Eh, maybe. So this story has 13 upvotes to 9 downvotes.

Twilight: How in Equestria did it get more upvotes than downvotes?

Carts: I just can’t believe 13 people liked this. Like, I can’t even believe it. No, I refuse to. Those thirteen people must be all of Wattwolf’s alternate accounts.

Twilight: Has to be.

Carts: There is no way a human being read this story, and then thought to himself, “You know what? I approve of this.” Actually, I am going to report this to the mods on FimFic for mass upvote spamming. Because I simply can not believe 13 people liked this.

Pinkie (from TV): Actually, all of those accounts were me!

Rainbow (from TV): And also some of them were me.

Twilight: Oh. That explains it.

*TV turns off with a blip*