As the Days Go

by darf

Chapter 1: Waves


It was a cold morning.

The streetlights of the small town by the oceanside were unlit, and nopony was awake to miss them. The streets were empty. Most ponies were asleep.

Twilight Sparkle stood at the window to the study on the second floor of her house. The study overlooked the ocean below, just above the cliffs and the sprawl of sea beyond, an angry set of waves by the shore and endless blanket of blue stretching towards the horizon.

The window was open. Twilight held herself halfway outside and stared towards the sea.

There was no sound but silence, and the soft roaring of the ocean waves.

The sound of hoofsteps came from the stairs outside the study. Twilight turned her head slightly, but quickly returned her eyes to the ocean. Her hooves just barely held her out of the body-sized hole that stood in the house when the window was turned outside.

The door opened without a knock. Pinkie Pie stepped inside. She smiled until she saw Twilight. When she did, her mouth formed a small ‘o’ shape, then closed. She walked quickly across the study towards Twilight. Twilight leaned forward out of the window.

“Twilight,” Pinkie said. She placed a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. Twilight leaned slightly more forward.

“Hey, come on,” Pinkie said. She pulled back, and Twilight came with her. When Twilight was all the way inside, Pinkie Pie shut the window.

“Don’t worry me like that, okay?” Pinkie said. “Let’s just close the window for now.” Pinkie smiled again and patted Twilight on the shoulder.

Twilight nodded vaguely.

“Come on,” Pinkie said, leading Twilight across the study. “Let’s go downstairs. I made breakfast.”

“Okay,” Twilight said.

The chill of the morning breeze hung inside the room for a few minutes after Pinkie closed the door and brought Twilight downstairs.

Pinkie had made strawberry pancakes for breakfast. She laid two on Twilight’s plate and three for herself. She poured some syrup onto her pancakes, then passed the syrup bottle to Twilight. Twilight didn’t put any syrup on her pancakes.

“Eat up,” Pinkie said, and took a bite of her pancake.

Twilight nodded and raised her fork. She ate a bite of pancake.

The two of them chewed for a few minutes.

“Did you check the mail?” Twilight asked.

Pinkie’s eyes went wide, and she stopped chewing her mouthful of pancake with a small ‘mmh’. “No,” she said, swallowing, “but I can go do that right now.”

“You don’t have to,” Twilight said.

“No, it’s okay. Hang on and I’ll be right back, okay?”


Pinkie walked quickly out of the kitchen and picked up the mail-key from its place on the wall-hanger. She opened the door and walked outside, heading towards the mailbox. She forgot to close the door.

In the kitchen, Twilight turned over her fork, holding a piece of pancake on the end. She dipped it in a bit of the syrup from Pinkie’s plate. She sighed.

Pinkie shut the door when she came back in. The mailbox key jangled when she hung it up on the wall.

“Mail’s here!” she said, smiling.

Twilight turned her head towards the kitchen doorway, facing the house’s entrance.

“Let’s see...” Pinkie said. “Oh, look!” She held up a letter from the top of the pile. “We got a letter from Fluttershy,” she said. She smiled as she held it up.

A corner of Twilight’s mouth shifted.

“What did she say?”

Pinkie stuck her teeth out between her tongue as she fumbled with the letter. She tore it open after a few seconds and took out the small sheet of decorative paper. She held it up to the light and began to read. “Hmm,” she said. “She just... wanted to say hello, and is wondering how you’re doing.”


Pinkie Pie set Fluttershy’s letter down on top of the pile of mail.

“That was nice of her, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Twilight said.

Pinkie Pie stood in the entranceway for a few seconds. She left the pile of mail as she walked back to the kitchen. When she sat back down, she smiled and took another bite of strawberry pancake.

Twilight poked her fork into her plate for a few seconds. “Pinkie,” she said, staring at her plate. “Did...”

“Hmm?” Pinkie Pie looked up from her food with a mouthful of pancake, which she swallowed.

“Did Shining Armor send anything?”

“Oh!” Pinkie stood up and dashed back to the pile of mail. She grabbed up the stack of flyers and letters and rifled through them. She set the pile back down after the second scan.

“No,” Pinkie said, “I don’t think he did.” Her voice dipped down a bit at the end.

“Huh,” Twilight said.

“Well, he was probably just busy,” Pinkie said. “I don’t think he’d forget.”

“He hasn’t written in a while,” Twilight said.


Twilight poked at her mushy pancake.

Pinkie picked up the stack of mail and checked it one more time. There was no letter from Twilight’s brother.

“He’ll probably write next week,” Pinkie said quietly.

Twilight didn’t say anything.

Pinkie picked up her plate with half a pancake still on it. It was covered in syrup. “Are you all done?” she asked.

Twilight nodded. “Yeah,” she said.

Pinkie took Twilight’s plate and brought it to the sink.

“How were they?” she asked.


Pinkie did the dishes while Twilight sat at the table. The dishes were done after a few minutes.

“So,” Pinkie said, pushing her chair back under the table and shaking her hooves off. “What would you like to do for your day off?”

“Nothing, really.”

Twilight stared at the kitchen table. Pinkie Pie smiled for a little while, then stopped smiling, mostly.

Please, she didn’t say.

“Well,” she said, “I was thinking we could go for a walk. The air is really brisk today, it’s the perfect thing to help perk up.”

Twilight breathed out through her nose.

“Do you want to go for a walk with me?”

“I’m fine with whatever,” Twilight said.

Pinke frowned.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to...”

“I said it was fine.”

“Well, I don’t want to do it if you don’t want to.”

Twilight looked up from the table. Her expression was the same as it had been all morning.

“What do you want to do?” Pinkie asked, smiling slightly.

“I don’t want to do anything,” Twilight said.

Pinkie frowned again. “I’m sorry,” she said.

“It’s fine.”

“Well, I could... do you want me to leave you alone, or—”

“No, let’s go for a walk.”

“But you said—”

“Forget it. Let’s just go, okay?”

The room was quiet for a few seconds. After a little while, Pinkie nodded. “Okay,” she said.

Twilight got up from the table and pushed her chair back in. She walked with Pinkie to the entranceway of the house. The house-key jangled as Pinkie took it off its hanger.

As Twilight followed Pinkie outside, she pushed the letter from Fluttershy off its spot on the table. It fell neatly into the garbage can by the table’s side.

Pinkie Pie shut the door after she and Twilight stepped outside. They started their walk towards the ocean trail that followed along the whole of the sea by their house. Twilight walked slower than Pinkie. They didn’t talk very much during their walk, and came back after a half hour.

The next morning was cold too. The ocean was calmer, but waves still crashed on the shore. Above the empty sea, a single gull flew out to the center of the water. A flock watched him from the rocks by the beach.

The house was quiet. There was no sound but silence, and the soft roaring of the ocean waves.

Pinkie Pie yawned and stretched as she woke up. She looked at her alarm clock and saw that it was earlier than she usually got up. She turned off the alarm and sat up in bed for a few minutes. She closed her eyes for half of them and breathed slowly through her nose. She pressed her hoof into her pillow and squeezed down, making an imprint in the fabric. After another minute, she pulled her hoof away and opened her eyes.

It was her usual time to wake up.

The bed creaked when Pinkie Pie got up. She looked out the window of her bedroom and saw the sun coming in faintly over the skyline. There was a lot of fog, which made the sun’s glow hard to see. Pinkie watched the sun for a few seconds before she left the window and went to Twilight’s room, which was on the first floor of the house. She knocked on the door twice before she opened it.

“Rise and shine,” she said, walking over to the bed.

Twilight was wrapped up in her blanket. She was staring at the wall opposite the door, and her head was nestled into her pillow. She didn’t say anything.

“Time to wake up,” Pinkie Pie said. She sat on the bed and gave Twilight’s back a light push. Twilight didn’t say anything.

“Come on, Twilight. You’ve got to get up.”

“I don’t want to,” Twilight said.

Pinkie’s smile faded slightly.

“Well, you might not want to, but you have to.”

“No I don’t,” Twilight said.

Pinkie let out a slow breath.

“Well, yes, you do. You can’t just stay here all day.”

“Why not?”

“Because you have to get up and go to your job, silly.”

“I don’t want to.” Twilight's voice shook slightly as she spoke.

Pinkie put her hoof on Twilight’s shoulder and rubbed. “Twilight,” she said. “Come on. Please?”

I can’t do this, she didn’t say.

“I don’t want to get up,” Twilight said.”I don’t want to go to work.”

“Well,” Pinkie said. Her voice was higher pitched than normal. “What do you want to do?”:

“I want to go back to sleep and never have to wake up.”


“I want to lie here and die,” Twilight said. She closed her eyes, and tears leaked out of them.

Pinkie bit her lip.

“Twilight, please. I know it’s hard... but you have to get up.”

“No I don’t,” Twilight said. She was crying.

“Please. For me?”

Twilight shook her head.

Pinkie sat next to Twilight for a while. She rubbed her hoof up and down on Twilight’s shoulder and back through her blanket. After a little longer, she closed her eyes, leaned towards Twilight, and hugged her.

“Come on,” she said. “I know you can do this. I know it’s hard. But you’ve gotta do it. Just gotta get through the day, right?”

Twilight shook her head, but didn't say anything. She sniffled, and a tear rolled down her cheek.

“Can you just get out of bed? Take it one step at a time. You don’t have to worry about going to work. Just see if you can get up first.”

Twilight sniffled again. After a few seconds, she nodded. “Okay,” she said.

After a few seconds, Pinkie sat back up. Twilight unrolled herself from the blankets and sat up at the side of her bed. She stared down at her lap and let out a long breath.

“Great job so far,” Pinkie said with the hint of a smile.



After another minute, Twilight stood up. She held a hoof against the wall and sighed for a second, then walked towards the door to her room. Pinkie Pie stood up and followed her.

“I’ll make breakfast before you go,” Pinkie said.

Twilight nodded.

Pinkie made oatmeal for breakfast. She put lots of brown sugar in hers, and just a little in Twilight’s. Twilight ate a few spoonfuls when she got her bowl, but ate only a few over the next several minutes. The noise of spoons on bowls and soft chewing filled the kitchen for the next several minutes.

“I made you a lunch to take,” Pinkie said, almost done her oatmeal.

Twilight nodded without looking up from her breakfast. “Thanks,” she said.

After Pinkie was done with her oatmeal, she brought her bowl to the sink and washed it. She waited a few minutes, then took Twilight’s. Twilight didn't say anything. She leaned her chin on her hoof. Her eyes looked wet.

“Come on,” Pinkie Pie said, shaking her hooves off. “Don’t wanna be late.”

Twilight nodded.

“Hey,” Pinkie Pie said as she picked up the house-key from its hanger. It jangled. “Twilight,” she said.

Twilight turned her head with her eyes half-open.


“How is a raven like a writing desk?” Pinkie asked.

Twilight scrunched up her mouth.

“I don’t know. How?”

“They’re both big black birds with lots of feathers, except for the writing desk.” Pinkie smiled.

Twilight smiled for a second. She laughed a little bit.

The air was cold when Pinkie and Twilight stepped outside. They walked together to the bookstore where Twilight worked. The store hadn’t opened yet, because Twilight needed to open it. She pulled out a small key and put it in the book-store’s front-door lock. It clicked loudly when she turned it.

“That key sounds pretty old,” Pinkie Pie said.

“Mhm,” Twilight said.

Twilight leaned on the door of the bookstore for a moment after it had opened. Pinkie walked up to the doorstep very close to Twilight. Twilight turned towards her. Their noses almost touched.

Pinkie smiled.

Gimme a kiss before I go, she didn’t say.

“Have a good day at work,” she said.

Twilight nodded. “Thanks,” she said.

Pinkie smiled at her. She didn’t kiss her.

After a few seconds, Twilight walked inside. Pinkie Pie stood at the door for a moment and read the schedule. It said ‘open at eight’. It was seven fifty-five.

Pinkie Pie let out a long sigh. Her breath misted in the cool morning air, leaving the soft imprint of her presence on the glass in the form of lingering fog. She closed her eyes for a moment, then turned and walked back home. The house was quiet when she let herself in. Her key jangled when she put it on the hook.

Outside, the air was quiet and dull. There was no sound but silence, and the soft roaring of the ocean waves.

Twilight was in the study at night when Pinkie Pie knocked on the door. Twilight closed her book and got up to answer the door. She didn’t take off her reading glasses, which were slightly too small for her.

“Hey,” Pinkie Pie said.

“What?” Twilight said. Then, “Sorry. I mean... did you want something, or...sorry.”

Pinkie Pie shook her head. “Don’t be sorry,” she said. “I just came to see how you were doing.”

Twilight frowned.

Pinkie Pie frowned for a second as well, then smiled again.

How was your day, she didn’t say.

“What are you up to?” she asked.

“I was reading.”

Pinkie Pie nodded.

“Anything good?”

“Not really.”

Pinkie Pie stood, still in the doorway. Twilight held her hoof on the door. Her reading glasses were rested low on her nose.

“So,” Pinkie Pie said.

Twilight breathed out through her nose.


“I was wondering if you... if you wanted to sleep in my room tonight,” Pinkie said. “With me, I mean.”


“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.” Pinkie Pie pushed her way past the door and turned to the room’s far side, with the window. She looked out through the large pane of glass. The rocks were hard to make out in the dark, and the ocean was a giant black mass that was only there through the occasional crash of the waves onto the nearby shore.

“I’m... “ Twilight paused. “Sorry,” she said.

Pinkie Pie shook her head and turned towards Twilight. “It’s okay,” she said.

“No,” Twilight said, “It’s not.” Her hoof was still on the door. It began to shake slightly. “I know I should... I’m sorry...” Twilight closed her eyes, and a few tears fell from them to the study floor.

“Hey, hey.” Pinkie walked to Twilight and pulled her into a hug. Twilight cried softly as Pinkie Pie rubbed her back and whispered ‘shhh’ into her ear.

“It’s okay,” Pinkie Pie said.

“No,” said Twilight, her voice thick with her sobbing. “It’s not. Nothing is okay.”


“Why am I doing this?” Twilight asked. She tried to push Pinkie away, but Pinkie held on and kept rubbing Twilight’s back.

“I’m sorry... I’m sorry...” Twilight said, still crying. Pinkie nodded and kept her hoof moving steady on Twilight’s back.

“It’s okay,” she said.

Twilight shook her head, but said nothing.

“It’s okay,” Pinkie Pie said.

After a few minutes, Twilight’s sobbing dulled to a soft sniffling. Pinkie let her go and ran a hoof through her mane. Twilight wiped a tear from her eye.

“I’m such a mess,” she said.

Pinkie Pie shook her head. “No you’re not,” she said.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I can’t do this anymore—”

“Hey, come on. Yes you can.”

“For how long?” Twilight took in a long breath through her nose, which was clogged from her crying.

“Don’t you have a doctor’s appointment on Friday?” Pinkie asked, trying to smile.

“Psychiatrist,” Twilight corrected.

“Right,” Pinkie said.

“He hasn’t been helping.”

“Well, it might just take some time—”

“How long is it supposed to take?” Twilight raised her voice as she spoke. Her glasses were clouded from her crying.

Pinkie Pie’s smile faltered.

“Well... I don’t know.”

Twilight didn’t say anything.

Pinkie looked to the side, then back to Twilight.

“He doesn’t know how to help,” Twilight said.

“Well,” Pinkie said, “maybe we could get you a different psychiatrist—”

“This town only has one psychiatrist,” Twilight said. “It’s not even as big as Ponyville.”

Pinkie Pie chewed her lip. “Hm,” she said. After a second, she opened her mouth again, but closed it without saying anything.

A minute passed, silent, but for the softly roaring ocean waves.

“I’m sorry,” Pinkie Pie said.

“Don’t be,” Twilight said. “I’m the one who should be sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry for anything.”

“Yes I do. I can’t believe you’re still here putting up with me.”

“Of course I am.” Pinkie Pie reached out a hoof and placed it on Twilight’s shoulder.

I love you, she didn’t say.

“I care about you,” she said.

Twilight let a tiny smile grace her lips for a second. “I’m sorry,” she said.

“Don’t be,” Pinkie said.

A few seconds passed.

“Do you wanna come to bed?” Pinkie asked.

After another few seconds, Twilight nodded. “Okay,” she said.

Pinkie smiled. “Come on,” she said.

Twilight lifted her glasses off with a soft purple glow of her horn and set them on her desk.

Pinkie Pie opened the door and held it for Twilight. Twilight walked down the stairs, and Pinkie followed, shutting the door behind herself. She went with Twilight to her bedroom. The light was off, and Pinkie held Twilight’s hoof as she led her to the bed. The sheets rustled as Twilight slid under them, followed by Pinkie.

Pinkie picked up her alarm clock and checked it to make sure it was set.

“Sorry if I hog all the blankets,” she said.

“That’s okay,” Twilight said.

Pinkie set her alarm clock back on her bedside table. She shifted a bit under the blankets. Twilight did the same.

After a minute, Twilight turned onto her side, facing towards the door.

The air in the room was warm.

Pinkie turned onto her side. She stayed still for a few seconds, breathing slowly. Her hoof shook a little bit as she reached forward and around Twilight’s chest. She moved forward until she was pressed against Twilight’s back, as close to her as she could be.

Twilight sighed and relaxed into her pillow.

Pinkie smiled and found her own pillow. Twilight’s mane was right by her nose. She could smell it when she breathed. She took in a big breath and held it for a few seconds, then let it out with a sigh. Twilight sighed too. Pinkie pulled her a little closer.

After a little while, both of them fell asleep.

In seven and a half hours, Pinkie’s alarm clock would go off.

It would be a new day.

Outside, the evening breeze drifted over the rocky cliffs, bringing the faint taste of misted salt-water with it. There was nopony on the trail by its side, and nopony awake in town to see it.

The whole town was quiet, with no sound but silence, and the soft roaring of the ocean waves.

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