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What Once Was

by The Abyss

Chapter 1: Yet Another Lonely Night


“Hey, everypony!” Berry Punch waved, attracting the attention of everypony in the bar. “Next round's on me!” As the bar’s patrons cheered, the plum-colored mare unsteadily made her way to an empty stool at the bar and hopped up onto it, nearly slipping off the swiveling seat in the process. She quickly caught the edge of the bar to steady herself and slammed her glass down with an emphatic thud. With a hiccup, she beckoned the bartender to refill her glass with a wave of her hoof.

“Hey, bartender! Gimme anuzzer drink!” Berry yelled at the light green earth pony behind the bar.

“Miss Punch, I'm 'fraid to say that I won't be serving you anymore drinks for the night,” the bartender said as he walked up, his eyes wearily watching Berry sway from side to side on the stool. He leaned across the bar so that only Berry could hear him. “I think you’ve already had too much to drink as it is... Remember what happened last time you drank too much?” The bartender snorted as he shook his head, giving Berry an exasperated look.

She flinched as her thoughts drifted back to her previous fight, which had involved breaking a couple of chairs and the large mirror behind the bartender. She’d been so roughed up that she’d had to spend the night in the hospital, leaving the next morning with a set of stitches and a sprained hoof.

She wrinkled her nose at him as she waved her hoof dismissively. “It wasn’t mah fault, hones’! He was poking fun at me, and I just couldn’t sit there an’ take it! Besides, ah feel fine! Please, lemme just have one more drink, then...” she trailed off, losing herself in her own reflection in the mirror behind the bar for a moment.

The bartender cleared his throat, rolling his eyes as Berry refocused on him.

“...then ah'll be done for da night...” Berry pleaded, sticking her lip out as she pouted.

The bartender stared at her, mentally weighing his options. On one hoof, Berry was one of his best customers. Heck, she was in his bar at least four nights a week! But on the other hoof, when she had too much to drink, she was prone to starting fights with the other customers, which drove potential business away.

He sighed wearily, hoping that he wasn’t making the wrong decision. “Alright Berry, here's what I’ll do; If you pay your tab for the night now, I'll give you one more drink, on the house.”

“Done!” Berry exclaimed, a hungry gleam in her eye as she pulled out her bag of bits. “Ummm...how much do ah' owe ya'?”

“Hold on a tic; I'll go check...” The bartender turned around and trotted down the bar a ways, snatching a small scroll from its holder under the counter. Unrolling it, he tallied up the drinks she had had that night, and placed the scroll back in its place. He turned back to Berry, a gentle grin on his face as he leaned on the counter again and said, “Alright Berry, your total for tonight is... fifty six bits.” He trailed off as Berry sat there without flinching, waiting for him to continue. “But since you’re a good customer, I’ll lower it down to forty five. Deal?”

“Hehe, deal!” Berry Punch said gleefully. She dumped all of her bits onto the bar and started counting them out, sliding them around as she counted out loud. “Five, ten... thirteen... ummm.. Ah hay; I lost count!” She pushed all her bits back to one side and started counting again. “Ten, sixteen... ah buck, I los’ count again...”

“Here, I’ll help ya,” the bartender said. Once he got his hooves on the bits, he quickly had the correct amount counted out. He swept the bits to the edge of the bar and quickly deposited them into his money bag, tossing it under the counter. He turned back to face Berry, smiling as he idly scratched at his mane.

“Alright, Berry... What would you like to drink?” The bartender asked, setting his front hooves on the bar. “We just got a bottle of Dark Pegasus, aged for three years, straight from the Apple family yesterday,” gesturing to a tall and black bottle sitting proudly on the shelf behind him, “and it’s one of only two hundred in all of Equestria! Would you like to be the first to try it?”

“Ish water wet?!” Berry asked, hiccupping excitedly as she reached out towards the bottle, as if willing it to fly into her outstretched hooves. “Of course I'd like ta’ try it!” She waited impatiently, biting her lip as the bartender retrieved a clean glass from the rack behind him.

Setting the glass down in front of Berry, the bartender tossed a few ice cubes inside it and turned towards the shelf. Grabbing the bottle’s neck in between his teeth, he pulled it from it’s place on the shelf and quickly popped the top off with a hoof. Turning back towards Berry, he slowly but surely poured a good amount of the drink into the glass, making sure not to spill a single drop of the precious liquid.

As the bartender finished pouring the amber liquid into the glass, Berry smelled the crisp smell of apples wafting through the air, tempting her to down the entire glass in one go.

The bartender smiled at Berry’s eager expression and pushed the glass towards her with a hoof, the amber liquid sloshing back and forth enticingly. “Well, take a sip and let me know what you think! I’ve heard really good things about this one...” he said as he popped the lid back on the bottle, placing it back on the shelf. By the time he turned back around, Berry had already thrown back the entire glass, ice cubes and all, burping rudely as she slammed it back down.

“Did you just... did you really just drink that in one go?” The bartender deadpanned, his eye twitching slightly. “It wasn’t a shot, Berry! You were supposed to take your time and enjoy it!”

“Hehe, woops...” Berry said, giggling slightly. “Ah know you said that was mah last one, but it was really good... can I have one mo'?”

“I’m afraid not, Berry,” the bartender shook his head as he threw a rag over his shoulder. “A deal’s a deal, and I’m cutting you off for the night. Now go home and get some sleep; it’s for your own good.”

“But I wa—” Berry started to say before somepony cut her off.

“Hey bartender, can we get some service down here?” A stallion yelled from the other end of the bar, slamming a large hoof on the counter rudely.

“I’m sorry, Berry, but I gotta go serve the other customers now,” the bartender said, gently patting the mare on her shoulder. “I'll talk to you later, okay?”

“Alright...” Berry said, sighing dejectedly. She hated the part of the night when the bartender would stop serving her drinks.

Glancing around the bar, she saw a couple holding hooves in one of the back tables. The mare laid her head on the stallion’s shoulder and nuzzled him cutely, eliciting a slight blush from him. With a smile, he laid a hoof over his marefriend and pulled her closer, softly nibbling her ear. After a few seconds, he looked up and made eye contact with Berry, who was still drunkenly staring at the two of them.

Berry looked away, her heart aching. At this very moment, she desired nothing more than to cuddle with somepony. Her heart panged with jealousy as she wished that she still had her special somepony to keep her company on these cold, dark nights.

Last year had been very hard on her. Just over a year ago, she had been living happily in a small apartment in Canterlot with her fiancé, Pokey Pierce, and her daughter, Ruby Pinch. She had worked hard to support her family, just so that they could live comfortably and without any worries.

She had worked as a servant in a very well-off pony’s mansion, and had been in charge of his massive wine cellar. She loved her job and had been very good at it, often outshining many other employees.

But one beautiful and sunny day in the spring, tragedy struck. Pokey had been watching Ruby and several other foals play in the river just outside the city gates. He watched on as she went to the end of the waterfall and peered over the edge and, to his horror, saw her slip. Before he could react, the fast-moving current had already taken her over the edge.

He had galloped to the edge of the cliff and looked down with his horn lit, ready to save his daughter, but all he saw was the mist from the waterfall. He sat there for hours, staring over the cliff, devastated that he had lost his one and only daughter. Several ponies had tried to console him, but he just shoved them away, wanting to be alone.

Only a few minutes later, Berry had finished her shift and went down to the river to meet up with the rest of her family. After she left the city’s main gates, she looked around, searching for her family up and down the riverbanks. She looked to the right and saw a lone pony looking over edge, and as she looked closer, she realized it was her fiancé.

Becoming a little apprehensive, she trotted over to him and saw that he was sobbing quietly. She had asked him, “Honey, what’s wrong? Where’s Ruby?” She glanced around and couldn’t find their filly anywhere, and fearing the worst, she quietly asked him where their filly was, but he didn’t respond. Becoming agitated, she had yelled at him frantically, trying to break him out of his reverie. She pushed him, trying to get him to answer her, and finally, with agonizing slowness, he pointed down towards the valley far below them with a shaking hoof and haltingly said, “...d- down there...”

With wide eyes, Berry suddenly realized what he meant. Tears welling up in her eyes, she asked him if her filly, her precious little Ruby Pinch, was dead. Her fiancé could only nod solemnly in response, unable to say anything more.

After the loss of her foal in that accident, Berry had thrown herself into her job, spending long periods of time in the mansion’s cellar, trying to suppress the memories of her foal's death. But by doing that, she had neglected her spouse.

After a particularly hard day of work, Berry had made her way up the front steps of her house and tried to walk inside, but found that the front door was locked. Puzzled, she knocked on the door, calling for her fiancé to open it. After waiting a few seconds, and not hearing any response from inside, she pulled out her keys and unlocked it herself. She walked in and closed the door, but couldn’t fight a growing sense of unease. Her fiancé was always making dinner around this time, but all she heard was silence. Trotting towards the living room, she gulped both in fear and shock as the corner of her eye caught a letter sitting near the edge of the coffee table.

Fearing its contents, she rushed over to it and quickly read the the poorly written message, the words burning themselves into her memory.

“Dear Berry,

There is no easy way to say this. I've wanted to tell you this for a long time, but ever since you started working such long hours, it feels as though we hardly see each other. I have spent months trying to talk to you about Ruby, but you’ve always avoided me. I have done my best to try and salvage our relationship, but it has only decayed after our daughter’s death.

Instead of understanding that her death was an accident, you have pushed everypony away, including myself. You poured yourself into your work, never realizing that there were ponies around you who you could have gone to for help.

Even now, as I write this letter, I'm not sure how I feel. I will always love you, Berry, but I cannot stand to watch you do this to yourself.

Love,
Pokey Pierce”

Emotionally devastated, she had left the house and sluggishly drifted through the streets of Canterlot in a haze, unaware and uncaring of where her hooves led her. Her stallion, the one she was going to live the rest of her life with, had abandoned her. Her eyes hollow and bloodshot, she eventually found herself on a barstool in some dive downtown. She couldn’t recall how she got there, and frankly she didn’t care.

Waking up the next morning in some alleyway, she had slowly stumbled back to her empty apartment to recover. Wanting to leave it all behind, she had cleaned herself up and packed her few belongings in a couple of suitcases before she walked out the door for good. Since she was already living in the cheapest apartment in Canterlot, she went to the only place she could go; the mansion where she worked. She had begged her employer for a room to live in and he reluctantly agreed in exchange for half her pay, which was a great deal for her. Her income alone wouldn’t have been enough to pay the rent at her old apartment.

The following week had been one of the worst weeks in her life. She messed up even the simplest of tasks, even breaking a couple of very expensive bottles of wine. Her employer had been disappointed but he had forgiven her, knowing that she was going through a rough patch. He even gave her a couple of paid weeks off just to let her recuperate, which she had been immensely grateful for.

After a couple of months, things started looking better. She had finally gotten her life back on track, and had started to thrive at her job again. Her employer noticed that, and put her in charge of the serving drinks at his next monthly party.

The night of the party, everything was going well until Berry saw her ex-fiancé show up with a stunning mare at his side. The sight of him with another mare brought up all of the anger, all of the resentment, and all of the despair that Berry had felt since the death of their filly.

In a fit of blind rage, Berry had grabbed hold of the nearest bottle, and with an inarticulate scream, she threw it at her ex-fiancé’s head, missing it by mere inches. She leapt over the bar and galloped toward him, spinning around to bring her back legs to bear. She tucked her legs in tight and tried to buck him, but her employer’s guards tackled her to the ground. As she screamed expletives at her former lover, the guards dragged her from the room and put her in one of the small side rooms, away from everypony. They said that their master would be along shortly, and they locked the door behind them.

A few minutes later, Berry was fed up with waiting. Just as she went to pound her hoof on the door and scream to be let out, it opened to reveal her very disappointed employer. Her hoof, still in mid-swing, hit him square in the chest, knocking him back a few steps. She froze in shock, quickly pulling her hoof away as her employer shook his head in disappointment. After talking for a short while, they both decided that it would be best if she just left, so her employer gave her a couple days to get her affairs in order and vacate her room.

The next day, she packed her belongings back in the suitcase and had made her way to the train station. She looked at the list of destinations that she could choose from; Manehatten, Trottingham, Baltimare, Ponyville, and Fillydelphia. She didn’t want to live in a big city anymore, so she chose the only remaining option, Ponyville, and bought a ticket for the next train there. As she stepped onto the train car, she looked back at what once was her home, and she swore to herself that she would never return to the royal city, completely cutting herself off from her past.

Even though she had been living in Ponyville for nearly an entire year now, she still could not find anypony else she had connected with as much as Pokey, which pushed her into longer periods of depression. She had many alcohol-induced one-night stands, and while that briefly sated her lust for the night, it was nowhere near what she truly desired.

What she really wanted, no, what she really needed, was just somepony to love, and for that somepony to love her back. Glancing around the room, her gaze focused on an empty seat between a stallion a few seats down the bar. As she stared at him, it looked as if he was alone. Thinking that she might get lucky, she hopped off her stool and made her way towards the stallion, swaying from side to side as she walked down the bar, her mind set on spending the night with that stallion, even if only for one single night.

“Hey, hot stuff...” Berry slurred, batting her eyes at the golden brown stallion as she took the seat next to him.

The stallion sighed and glanced at her warily. “Yes...?”

“I'm Burry Punch... but mah friends just *hic* call meh Burry,” she said, her words slurring together. “Of course, you can call me whatever you like...” she winked at him, grinning sultrily. She cocked her head at him for a few seconds, trying to place his face with a name. “Ya know, I... I don' think I've seen you aroun' town before...”

“That’s cuz I’m just passin’ through, missy,” the pegasus replied, taking a slow sip of his drink.

“Do you want some... *hic* company tonight?” Berry asked, swaying back and forth on her stool. She trailed a hoof over his chest in a feeble attempt to seduce him. “We can go to mah place...”

“Uhhh... no thanks, I'm a married stallion...” he replied, gently pushing her hoof away. “I appreciate the kind offer, though.”

“What? You refusin’ to spend a night with da mos’ popular poneh here?”

The stallion cocked an eyebrow at Berry. “Miss, how many ponies in here do you think are your real friends? How many do you talk to on a daily basis? How many do you visit each day?” The pegasus stared at her for a few seconds, before slowly shaking his head. “Do you ever wonder how many of these ponies would know your name if you didn't buy them drinks all the time?”

Berry Punch leaned back, her jaw dropping silently. Desperately wanting to prove him wrong, she turned around and quickly latched onto a passing earth pony.

“Hey, you!” Berry yelled, instantly recognizing her as one of the regulars that she bought drinks for. “I gotsta question for you...what's mah name?”

“Ummm... Fruit Salad...?” The earth pony replied, peering at her cutie mark.

“...really?” Berry Punch asked, staring at the mare.

“Ummm...yeah? Listen, can I go now? My friends are waiting on me,” she replied, gesturing to a table near the back of the bar.

“Ugh, whatever...” Berry muttered, pushing the earth pony away. Looking back up at the stallion, she saw that he was smiling sadly.

Brushing that off, she waved her hoof as she changed the subject. She slid closer to the pegasus, running a hoof through his mane. “You know, ah'll do anysing you want...”

“Really, I don't need company tonight. I'm already taken, as you can see.” He shifted in his seat, giving Berry Punch a clear view of a beautiful light beige mare sitting beside him.

“Shhhe doesn' have to know...” Berry whispered into his ear, a desperate edge to her voice. She ignored the glare from the mare. “What she doesn' know can' hurt 'er, right?”

“Excuse me, what did you just say?” The stallion's wife spat, her jaw set angrily.

“Hush hush now,” Berry rudely said, waving her hoof at the mare, “ze adults are talking. Now, if you don’t mind...” Berry turned her attention back to the stallion, who was shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “Want to go back to my place for some...fun?”

“Honey, aren’t you going to say something?!? You’re married to me!” The mare yelled at the stallion. He looked at her uneasily, and she continued, “Oh, don’t tell me you’re actually thinking about her request!”

The stallion didn’t reply, choosing to take another sip of his drink instead of responding to his overbearing wife.

“Come on, we’re leaving,” the mare huffed, pulling her husband out of his seat.

“Hey, where do ya thinks yer takin’ him?!” Berry yelled as she stood up, blocking the path to the exit.

“Berry!” A loud voice suddenly cut in, a hoof slamming down on the counter. The bartender glared at her, a deep scowl set on his face. “One more fight, and you are banned from my bar for good!”

“UGH!! Fine...” Berry whined as she backed down. This bar was the best in town, and she would absolutely hate to be banned from here. She sat back down and glared at the the married couple as they stepped past her.

As the mare and stallion passed Berry, the mare gave her a smug smile and left her with one last parting shot. “At least I have somepony to keep me company...”

That insult cut deep into Berry’s heart. She desperately wanted to beat the living hay out of that smug mare, but she didn’t want to get banned from her favorite pub, so her intoxicated mind decided that now would be a good time to leave. She hopped off the chair, stumbling as she made her way towards the exit.

As she neared the door, her eyes fell on her neighbors, Bon Bon and Lyra. She stopped for a moment, staring at the pair, ignoring the glances of the ponies around her. Jealousy and sadness filled her heart as she watched Lyra drape her hoof over her marefriend's shoulder, her lips moving as she whispered something into Bon Bon's ear, most likely something sweet or romantic. Bon Bon smiled, and turned to her marefriend, nuzzling her under her neck.

Berry fought back a sob as she stared at the pair, her tail flicking behind her as she opened the front door. She bade good night to the bartender and made her way outside, stumbling as the door clipped her tail. “Daaang... Thos' weashur pony'as shure know how ta make a storm...” she thought, staring at the torrents of rain pouring down around her, large puddles forming on the muddy street.

Her mane blew in the gales of the thunderstorm as she stepped out into the rain and began the long trot home, enduring all the storm had to throw at her. Within seconds her mane hung in limp strands down her back, water pouring into her eyes. She closed her eyes to mere slits, her ears pinned back against her head. She swayed from side to side as she trotted down the road, her vision limited to a dozen hoofsteps in front of her.

Bolts of lightning arced through the sky, lighting up the world in flashes of white. An ear-splitting thunderclap sounded throughout the countryside, deafening the mare for a moment. She blinked rapidly, trying to clear the dots in her eyes. Suddenly, two ponies came galloping out of nowhere, crashing into her and knocking her into a muddy puddle. They quickly stood back up and galloped away, not bothering to help her up.

As she sluggishly picked herself off the ground, she felt the rain finally let up, softening down to a mere drizzle. She looked to the sky, staring at the rolling clouds above her. Berry glanced down and grimaced as she saw her beautiful coat was now covered in mud. She almost wished it was still raining, if only to clear the sticky mud from her fur. She set off towards her home once more, her eyes lowered to the ground.

As her home appeared in the distance, she sighed disappointedly, knowing that she was going to be spending another night alone. The ground lit up before her, drawing her gaze to the moon high above her. Even in the dark storm, it shone brightly above the clouds.

As she neared her home, her mind drifted to thoughts of what her life would be like if her foal was still alive. If Ruby was still here... instead of coming home to an empty house, she could be coming home to a welcoming and loving family.

As she trudged up the steps to her front door, a sob escaped her mouth, her mind lingering on the thoughts of what could have been. She slowly opened her door and stepped inside, staring at her empty living room. In her mind, she could see Ruby sleeping in front of a roaring fire, her father silently watching over her as he read a book. She imagined him hopping out of his seat to greet her, and they would gently wake Ruby up to bring her upstairs to bed.

Instead, she faced an empty living room, decorated with a few pictures of her friends, a worn rug, an empty fireplace, and a dusty couch. She wiped her hooves on the doormat and carefully picked her way through the living room, making her way up the stairs to her bedroom.

She stopped in her doorway, gazing into the room silently. Moonlight flooded her bedroom, illuminating the sparsely decorated room in a silvery light. Her bed, which sat dirty and unmade, sat between her nightstand and dresser. Besides that, the room was disturbingly empty.

Feeling her way through the cold and dark room, she unsteadily made her way into her bathroom. Flicking on the light with a hoof, she looked into the mirror and grimaced as she realized just how dirty she was. Her wet mane and tail hung limply and her coat was caked in patches of thick black mud. Even in her drunken state, she knew she couldn't go to bed the way she was.

Sighing, she turned to the shower, her hoof fiddling with the controls as she turned on the hot water. She waited a few moments for the water to warm up, her eyes lazily following the stream of water as it flowed out of the showerhead. She extended her hoof into the stream and quickly yanked it back out, gasping in pain as the searing water burnt her hoof.

She grumbled to herself as she twisted the knob, lowering the temperature of the shower. After waiting a few seconds for the temperature to change, she tried again and found out that the water temperature was just right. Satisfied, she yanked the shower curtain open and stepped under the warm stream of water.

Placing her head under the showerhead, she felt the water wash away all of the mud from her face and mane. As the cleansing water cascaded over her shoulders, her mind slowly kicked into gear once more.

Thinking back to when life had been good, she started crying, wishing that she could go back in time and change how everything went down. If only she had taken the time to talk things over with her fiancé, maybe things could have turned out differently. Maybe they could have been married by now, and maybe they could have started anew.

But instead, she had chosen to try and block out the pain of losing her filly by working extremely long hours, and because of that, she had lost what little she had left. She had lost her precious filly and her fiancé, the only two things that had really been worth anything in her life. So now, she drowned her sorrows in a constant river of alcohol, trying to escape her painful memories.

“Ru-Ruby... why did you have to go-ho-ho??” Berry cried out, tears pouring down her muzzle, only to be quickly washed away by the shower. She hit the wall in frustration, cracking the white tiles, and slowly slid down until she was sitting in the bottom of the tub, the water still streaming down on her. She sat there for several minutes crying her heart out, her head in between her hooves, desperately wishing for the pain to go away.

Exhausted, she slowly returned to her hooves and finished washing the mud from her coat. She bent down and turned off the water with a hoof, and as she put her front hooves on the lip of the tub to get out, her right hoof slipped, causing her to painfully fall to the floor in a heap. Grumbling, she stood back up and yanked a nearby towel from its hanger, nearly ripping it off of the wall in the process.

As she finished drying herself off, she tossed the used towel on the floor and flicked the light switch off with a hoof, silently closing the bathroom door behind her. She made her way over to the bed and grabbed her pillow, quickly fluffing it between her two front hooves. Tossing it back down on the bed, she laid down and pulled the covers over herself, wishing she was sliding into place beside her special somepony. She started crying again, her sobs echoing throughout the empty house. Her shoulders quivered as she cried, tears sliding down her face. Before long, sleep took a hold of her, her tears drying on her muzzle.

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