The Sonic Pick up Chicks Squad: Part 3 Apple Acre Zone

Knuckles needed an approach.  Just showing up at somepony’s farm, somepony he never met, and just flirting with her seemed like a serious creeper move to him.  Then again what did he really know about girls in the first place?  There was Julie-Su, but that was an alternate continuity, and things like cannon and continuity always confused the heck out of Knuckles, so he chose to ignore it whenever possible.  His day job kept him from getting out much.  This day job involved him protecting a shiny green rock that was the only thing holding his home, Angel Island, suspended in the air.  One fracture or emerald-napping would send the Floating Island careening into the ocean or what ever landmass it happened to be hovering over at the time.  A gallery of menaces threatened it’s security including:

Tourists-

The local school children were normally well behaved when they visited the Master Emerald Shrine on field trips.  Knuckles was in charge of the echidna cultural festival.  As a proud warrior race the echidna had may longstanding traditions that they were proud to share, so most of students remember him performing the ‘Dance of Welcome’, which involved maracas and occasional tail shaking.

But, whenever a tour bus rolled in from the nearby hotels and airport Knuckles knew trouble was coming.  Kids would play and throw things at him, macho jerks would try and rile him up so they could fight the ‘Emerald Guardian’, and the occasional idiot trying to chip a piece off as a souvenir.  The third would result in three crashes and a splash, the Emerald would split into x number of pieces and scatter (crash number one), the buss would be pummeled to wreckage (crash number two), the sea coming up to meet the island (crash number three), and the would be jewel-cutter getting pitched into the ocean regardless of his ability to swim.

Dr. Eggman-

Luckily in the past five years this problem has subsided, to the point where Knuckles wondered if the good doctor had forgotten about him and his jewel.  Maybe Eggman realized that if he tried to steal it again the Guardian would just smash it again.  This wasn’t a particularly thought out or efficient way to solve his problem, but it suited Knuckles just fine.

Thieves/Collectors-

Many years ago our echidna hero up and quit guarding the Emerald.  He sold the emerald and some of the echidna clan’s lands to a private institute.  After about fifteen minuets of research and construction someone tipped over the emerald, sending bulldozers, contractors, all of Knuckles newly gained wealth, and the buyer sliding off the edge of the island into the sea.  Every one was rescued except for Knuckles money and pride.  This inspired him to take this obligation more seriously.

There was also Rouge, a bat thief who wore too much makeup and had enormous…

‘I got it!’ Knuckles thought, ‘If I get some time alone with Applejack, I can show off my talents, then work my moves.’

He had confidence in his plan much more than he did on the rare occasions he went clubbing with his pals the Chaotix.  For one the music never suited him, especially when that dip alligator Vector was the DJ.  They were good friends, but his choice in music was terrible.  It was painful to listen to, so much so that on more than one occasion Egg Pawn’s heads exploded just being in proximity to the club.  How could Knuckles get girls with his head pounding and all the beer pitchers Charmy Bee ordered tasting like pollen.

His plan was a bit like how he met Rouge.  She tried to rob him; they competed for a while; then they had some alone time, fighting.  They became friends… friends with an unusual amount of sexual tension.  Sexual tension probably caused by Rouge’s massive…

“Ho’ there, welcome to Sweet Apple Acres!  Looking to buy some apples?”  The light orange earth pony rested her hooves on a fence, chewing on a strand of wheat.

“Actually, I’m part of the Sonic Heroes.  We’re travelers looking for anyone who could use a hand, you know robot infestations, scary monsters, anything else needing some muscle.”  He sounded as macho as possible.

“Well me an ma’ brother were plan’in on breaking ground today for our new barn, but the workponies we hired to help wound up sick.  If you’re willing to work we could use an extra set of hooves… er’ mitts.”  The blond pony wasn’t sure what to call Knuckles’s gloved and spiked hands.

‘This is perfect, a few hours of labor and I get in good with the Apples.’  He leapt over the fence and followed the mare back to the farm house.

He introduced himself to Big Macintosh, Applejack, and Granny Smith.  Apparently AJ’s younger sibling Applebloom had gone off with her friends for the day.  The two young ponies and their volunteer hauled tools and carts out to the location of the new barn which was already marked out.  The ponies started digging and Granny Smith sat out in her rocker enjoying the morning air.

“I’ll make short work of this.” Knuckles had a small pack which he carried with him whenever he adventured with Sonic.  It contained thirty gold rings, a pair of Shovel Claws (paten pending), and a Whites ® Metal detector.  At this point the was sick of having to look for shovel claws as an upgrade item every time he was out adventuring so he brought his own pair with him now.  The metal detector was incase Sonic demanded he find some inane item that was outside his skill set, like keys or light bulbs.

This was dissimilar to his pack tailored for clubbing with the Chaotix which included fifty gold rings, ear plugs, and a single condom that was most likely outdated and expired.

Shovel Claws equipped, Knuckles dove into the ground spraying dirt in all directions.

“Demon Science! Get The Shotgun.”  Granny Smith spat out her teeth.

“Don’t worry about Granny Smith she’s just not to used to outsiders, technology”  Applejack shook the dirt off her coat and took her granny inside.  “Just use the normal shovel sugarcube.”