Crystal Clear Confessions
by LDSocrates
First published
[Hiatus] Dearest Shining Armor, by the time you read this, I’ll be long gone.
Dearest Shining Armor,
By the time you read this, I’ll be long gone.
Originally a one-shot written during a very trying time, but many people asked for a continuation. You can read the first chapter by itself if you wish, and that may even be advisable, but I still hope that you'll enjoy the rest.
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Unmasked
Dearest Shining Armor,
By the time you read this, I’ll be long gone. I considered telling you that at the end of this letter, but the whole reason I’m writing this is because I’m tired of leading you on. The truth is that I’m a fraud, dear; a liar. My face, my name, everything about me is fake. I never was Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. But I became her.
Shining Armor sat on the edge of his unmade bed, the luxurious crystal and gold and silver and silks little comfort with only the ticks and tocks of the clock to keep him company. His horn softly glowed in the early morning light that seeped through the windows. His magic grip held a ring, floating it before him.
His ring; his wedding ring.
I’m a changeling, Shining. I always was. The Cadence you fell in love with never existed. Though you did once know the real Cadence, but never spoke to her for fear of rejection. You remember those days, don’t you? When you were a young colt in high school with the dreams and body of a soldier but with hobbies and a heart I could only describe as adorably dorky? The truth is that Cadence never spoke to you. I did.
A knock came from his chamber door. He lifted a foreleg and wiped his watering eyes, moving the ring up to slide back on his horn. He paused, and set it beside him instead. “Come in,” he said as loud as he could manage, his voice hoarse.
The doors creaked open. The magic lights from the hall outside were almost blinding, but he didn’t look directly into it. His eyes were straight ahead, towards his wife’s vanity. Its mounted mirror glared back at him with his own reflection, his mane unkempt, his eyes sagging, red, and looking at him with a hollow gaze.
Cadence was silently replaced many years ago. I have no idea where she is. I was never told, in case I was discovered, tortured, and interrogated. The idea was for me to take her place when she was young so that if there were any major differences between me and the real Cadence, those around her would just blame it on the sudden changes of adolescence. And it worked. Everything went according to plan, even our wedding.
“Status report,” he barked.
“The search parties haven’t found anything yet, your Highness,” the guard mare responded. “The blizzard covered her hoof prints, and nobody saw her leave the city. But a local housewife said she spotted a lone figure galloping to the north west when she went to keep her own foal from getting too close to the shield. Permission to pursue?”
“Permission granted,” he said, looking at her silhouette out of the corner of his eye. “I want a search pattern established in that direction out to ten miles from the city limits. Nobody could get very far in this weather.”
“Yes, sir.” The shadow bowed and stepped back, the doors closing once more and leaving him in the dark.
The Queen intentionally botched her impression of me, of the ‘real’ Cadence, though we didn’t expect everyone to be so oblivious. If it wasn’t for Twilight, the plan may have been ruined. Or Plan A, rather. The royals know how to run a country, and you know how to wage a war, but changelings will always be the best when it comes to ruses. Who would suspect the princess in distress, after all, freshly saved from a monster’s dungeon? For added realism, the Queen, my mother, even beat me savagely herself. Mother was simply a decoy, and I the ace up her sleeve. Taking Canterlot would’ve been a quick, short-term gain, a consolation prize, but Twilight figured things out and the real plan continued.
Shining Armor’s horn glowed once more, his ring rising from his side to before his face. A gold band, uninterrupted in its simplicity save for a small gap filled with diamond, something precious completed by something even more so. It glimmered in the dull violet light, the ring and its partner in the mirror staring at him like a pair of glowing eyes, mocking him.
He closed his eyes and bit back a scream, launching his ring like an arrow. The ticking clock was drowned out by shattering glass.
We knew the Crystal Empire would come back soon. We have eyes and ears everywhere. And we knew that its technology ran on the happiness of its citizens the way we feed on love; a perfect symbiotic relationship. Once you died of old age, Mother herself would take my place, and her normal coldness would be blamed on grief. My siblings would then worm their way into the capital city, and Mother would pretend to look into the issue while we took over. All the untapped resources of the frozen north waiting to be harvested with modern technology, all at the hive’s disposal through a puppet empire and with the complete trust of Equestria. Taking them over next would be easy.
The next scream wasn’t so easily held back, nor were the tears, or the blows. The baubles and trinkets and luxuries of royalty and mementos of happy marriage shattered and ripped and cracked under stomped hooves or magic pressure.
He vaguely heard the chamber doors open again. He snapped his head up to see his two personal guards go from battle stances to pitying looks. He whipped his head up to get the strands of mane out of his face, but said nothing as he panted like a wounded animal. They said nothing either. They just bowed their heads in reverence and closed the doors again.
It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known. If Mother was not discovered during our wedding, the invasion would have been successful and Equestria would be our feeding grounds. But she was, and our long-term plan went into motion, far more lucrative in the end. Our people would finally have their own empire after so many centuries in the shadows, and the entire continent would be our home, with you and your kind as our livestock. Either way, we would win. Changelings never make their move until victory is the only possibility.
The distraction was long enough to make him stop and sweep his eyes across the carnage. Portraits, mostly of themselves, gifts from artists across the continent, were scattered across the floor. Their bed was in tatters from thrown shards of glass and mirror, the frame cracked and lopsided. Their wardrobes were reduced to twisted, splintered heaps. Any jewelry that wasn’t made of the strongest metal was bent or in a thousand pieces. The clock was utterly demolished, its gears scattered and shell broken.
His eyes fell on the soft glint of his ring among the wreckage. His own twisted reflection stared back up at him from the shards of mirror that surrounded it, his crying, enraged eyes staring back at him many times over.
But I can’t do it anymore. I can’t keep lying to you anymore. I love you, Shining; I love you and your family and your country too much to let that happen. That’s the one thing I never lied about, not even once. The Cadence you fell in love with never existed, but I did. I love your cute attempts at being traditionally manly, I love your dedication to your family and your country, I love being in your strong embrace; I love you, period. I know you probably hate me right now, but please, don’t ever doubt that.
He took a step forward, but didn’t make a second when he heard the crunch of wood and glass and crumple of paper beneath it. He looked down, and among the remains of the mirror was a small photo, its frame smashed.
It was a picture of a very startled teenage Shining Armor and Cadence on his house’s balcony, blushes on their faces and lips half pulled away. A young Twilight was pointing an accusatory hoof at the pair, with a look on her face like a detective catching a criminal in the act of a diamond heist, and a very noticeable purple claw was over the corner of the shot, haphazardly holding the camera.
At first it was just part of the plan; I’ll admit that. You were the older brother of Celestia’s protégé, after all, a perfect connection to have at our disposal. But I did fall in love with you, and I grew to love Twilight and your parents and Spike and even Celestia, and I began to understand why my kind is hated. Our existence hinges on taking love away when love is the most wondrous feeling in the world. It’s what makes life worth living. I don’t want to be part of that anymore.
Shining Armor’s horn glowed once more, bringing the photo up to his face. He turned it over, and in her elegant writing were the words, “Our first kiss, thankfully caught on camera.” A small chuckle escaped his lips, and a smaller smile tugged at their edges, but it soon faded. He turned it back over and stared at the image for a long time; stared at his own eyes from a time when they were full of life and full of love. Not even the ticking of the clock kept him company anymore.
So, I’m leaving for the wastelands outside the city, where you’ll never find me. I know I’ll die out there in the cold. I know I’ll die alone. But that’s how it should be, isn’t it? A monster like me doesn’t deserve any better.
After so long in silence and stillness, Shining Armor pulled the picture close to his chest and hugged it tight, closing his eyes as the tears flowed anew.
Please, if she’s still alive, find the real Cadence. Give her the life I stole from her, and tell her I’m sorry, for everything.
“I was such a fool…”
Goodbye.
Hiraeth
She didn’t really know what to expect out of death. When she made her decision to leave, she knew what to expect out of the act of dying itself: piercing cold that chilled her to the bone and completely alone until her heart just stopped beating. She wasn’t disappointed there at all. After that was a mystery.
She’d heard all the theories from those who wished to know the answer, and a few sermons from those who pretended to know the answer. She thought that death was simply ceasing to exist, though not many shared the sentiment. The most popular was that some hidden realm called Elysium existed in opposition to Tartarus, an asylum for the saintly virtuous instead of a prison for the irredeemably wicked. For all she knew, they were right; everyone knew Tartarus was a real place, after all, though nobody knew if the evil dead roamed that wretched place along with its living inmates. Nobody dared to check.
It hardly mattered. If there was an Elysium, she knew she’d never earn the right to call it home.
And yet… she remembered finally collapsing in the snow. She remembered getting buried as the wind howled and shrieked in her ears. She remembered closing her eyes for the last time. She remembered the feeling of death’s grip strangling her heart until it went still.
And the next thing she heard was the crackle of fire and its heat on her chilled, frigid skin. Tartarus; had to be. Simply ceasing to exist would’ve been a kindness.
She groggily opened her eyes to greet her new eternal jail. What her eyes were met with was not what she expected an otherworldly prison for history’s greatest murderers and tyrants. A thick blanket against her skin, a cushion beneath her, marble floors mostly covered with an Arabian carpet, a roaring hearth before her with a portrait of herself and Shining on the mantle…
Her eyes snapped open with a gasp. She was home. She was back in the palace. She was in her den, safe and sound. Chilled to the core on every inch of her body, but she was still very much alive.
“Took you long enough,” said the last voice she wanted to hear. Her eyes snapped over to see Shining Armor, eyes drooping and bloodshot, looking at her lifelessly from his perch atop their lounging couch by the sofa, just to the side of the fire.
Tartarus would’ve been a far, far greater kindness.
“N-no,” was the first slurred word out of her frozen lips. “No, this wasn’t how it was supposed to happen!” She shifted her legs to try to scramble away, try to run, but instead she fell onto the floor with a yelp and the clank of chains. After her vision cleared from the sudden blow to her head, she looked down to see two pairs of shackles keeping her legs too close together to walk, covered in magic runes to keep her from using her magic.
“Did you really think I’d let you in the palace unrestricted?” he asked coldly, practically leering down at her. “I’m not letting you go until you tell me where Cadence is.”
“Wh-what?” she sputtered, shivering from the loss of her blanket. “Shining, I a-am Cadence! I’m the Cadence you know a-anyway. I t-told you that I don’t know where the real one-“ She shook her head. “Why are we even talk-king about this? Why didn’t you just leave me to die?!”
“You said it yourself,” he muttered. “Who would ever expect the damsel in distress?”
She felt like her heart was going to stop all over again. “No… Shining, please.”
“I have no way of knowing whether that letter was real, or you’re just a convincing fake to distract me while the real Cadence is being dragged to who knows where,” he spat. “The guards are tearing the city apart right now, and I already sent a letter to Celestia to set up a border patrol if she’s being taken south.” He slid off his perch and trotted over to her with a threateningly calm, steady gait. “If this is another changeling trick, you’d better come clean, or you’ll spend the rest of your wretched life in the dungeon, do I make myself clear?”
She shut her eyes and covered her head with her forelegs, unable to take the look of sheer hate he was sending her way. “Please, Shining, I was t-telling the truth!”
His hoofsteps stopped. He was right over her, powerful, in control, angry. “Prove it.”
“I can’t!” she practically wailed, cold tears sliding down her face. “Why do you think I just want-ted to wander off and die? Finally telling the truth to our partners never works out f-for us; for all you know, w-we’re still just lying!” She dissolved into pained sobs, a dull ache in her chest as she labored for breath. “P-please, if you’re going to hang me, just do it; I can’t stand you hating me like this…”
“How can I trust you?” he muttered, the sharpened, hateful edge to his voice gone. “If you’re lying, I shouldn’t. If you’re telling the truth, I shouldn’t.”
“I know,” she muttered, curling up and screwing her eyes tighter still. “You never should have; I never deserved it. I’ve been lying to you and Twilight and your parents and Spike for years, and…” She took a few deep, ragged breaths. “Please, just let me die, please. It’s hard enough talking to you; I couldn’t stand seeing Twilight’s h-heart break like this.”
She heard the soft hum of his magic, followed by the harsh scrape of a sword sliding out of its sheath. “Are you sure you want that?” he asked, voice lifeless.
“Just m-make it quick,” she sobbed, tensing up and removing her forelegs from her head, bearing her neck. “I’m so, so sorry, Shining… for everything. I love you, and I’m sorry it ended like this.”
There were a few moments of silence betwixt them, only the fire daring to say a word.
There was the rush of steel through air.
She closed her eyes tighter and braced for death.
The blade stopped right against her neck, not even cutting into it.
She panted heavily for a few seconds before opening up her eyes. Shining was standing over her, tears in his eyes and running down his face. He shook his head with a barely repressed scream and tossed the sword to the side with a clatter.
“I thought that if I got this far, that if you’d actually let me get that close to killing you, I’d know you were really Cadence because a spy would want to live and do their job,” he admitted, scrambling backwards, “but… but now I’m just more confused than ever! Maybe you were just sent here to die and mess with my head, or just make me go absolutely nuts from trying to figure out what to do. If that’s it, then it’s working!”
He sat down and cradled his head in his hooves, screwing his eyes shut and sobbing through gritted teeth. “I don’t know what to do! And no matter what I choose, for all I know I’m getting Cadence killed or making her life miserable! I’m a soldier who’s completely cracking under pressure and can’t even protect my own wife, so what good even am I?!”
She couldn’t get up. She couldn’t walk. She couldn’t use magic. She certainly couldn’t fly. But she could crawl. So crawl she did. As much as her deathly cold limbs would allow, she inched herself towards Shining with the light shuffle of her chains.
“Shining, please, please don’t cry,” she muttered as she edged forward with strained grunts. “You’re better than that; I know you’re better than that. And I don’t blame you for being confused. I don’t blame you if you hate me.” She reached his feet and with a strain of effort pulled her head onto his lap. He gasped and paused, looking down at her as tears fell down onto her frostbitten face. “I… I just wanted you to be happy, and thought that in the long run you’d be happier without a fake like me.”
He brought a foreleg down, and she felt him run a hoof through her hair. “Cadence, I… I mean, if it’s really you, I’m… I’m sorry that I almost… that I even threatened-”
She disarmed him with a weak giggle. “Apology accepted, though you don’t seem to get that I don’t blame you for any of this, do you? You’ve always been such an apologetic goofball at heart.” She smiled when she saw a small one creep onto his face, but hers quickly faded. “But no, the whole point is that I’m not the real Cadence. I never was. I don’t… I don’t think I deserve that name, if she’s still…” She took a deep breath. “If she’s even still alive.”
The two shared a few more moments of silence, Shining idly running his hoof through her mane. “Still, if you’re telling the truth,” he finally said, “you’re still my wife… don’t I deserve to know your real name, at least? Maybe see your real face?”
Her gaze hardened, though she glared at nothing in particular, avoiding eye contact. “I’m not proud about my name, or my face, or anything about who I ‘really’ am,” she muttered. “I hate being a changeling.” She took a deep, bracing breath. In a small flash of green fire, her disguise was gone, leaving the insect underneath. “But if you really have to know… Mother named me Crypsis.”
Shining let out a small gasp. “You… you look like…”
“A lot like Mother, I know,” she mumbled with a scowl. “I keep my mane pink like this to set myself apart from my other high-born sisters and Mother, but… other than that, yeah, this is what I really look like.”
He stopped running his hoof through her mane, but only for an instant. “Well, for what it’s worth, I think you’re prettier than the evil old hag… no offense to your mother, I guess,” he chuckled nervously.
“Mother doesn’t get offended, she gets even,” she snorted. “And you’re just saying that. I’m a lot younger and look younger, yeah, but I can’t be ‘pretty;’ that’s just not something changelings are.”
“I don’t think so,” he said with a shadow of a smile. “You’ve still got cute little dimples, a kissable muzzle, pretty eyes, and a nice… ‘physique,’ shall we say?” he added with an adorable attempt at a suave smirk.
She giggled in spite of herself. “Now you’re really laying it on thick, but… thanks.”
The two exchanged much needed, genuine smiles, if only for a few seconds. Shining’s died when he said, “I really want to believe you, Cade-… Crypsis, I really do, but I still can’t take any chances.”
Her smile died as well. “I know.”
He sighed, shaking his head and nuzzling against her. “I’ll unlock your restraints, but until we get this sorted out you’ll have a guarded escort to keep an eye on you, okay?”
A twinge of fear made her heart skip a beat. “How many ponies did you tell about this, exactly?”
“I told the rank and file guards that you were kidnapped and that there were probably changeling fakes running around to distract us, but they should be brought in anyway,” he explained. “Only Black Ice, Night Veil, and White Winter know the full story, and that’s because it’d be a little impossible to coordinate a search if the captain of the guard didn’t know what we were really looking for, and Night Veil and White Winter found out because they read the letter as I was having a total mental breakdown after I first read it. It’s kind of hard to hide things from our personal guards. Once my letter arrives, Celestia, Luna, and Twiley will also know.”
Her ears flattened. “If you told anyone, I’m already not safe. Some of my better trained siblings are probably already in our ranks to keep an eye on me, but I have no idea who, and I know there are changelings still in Canterlot. Mother and I have argued a lot lately, and she probably expected me to try something sooner or later. I don’t think she’d kill me even though I’ve committed high treason, but she’s not above abduction. If – when – she gets wind of this, I’ll probably actually get kidnapped, and once I’m caught she’ll never let me leave the hive unless I somehow see things her way, and I’ll never be able to look for Cadence. I… look, it’s a long story, but as bad and suspicious as this sounds, I need to stay with you tonight; you’re the only one I can trust,” she pleaded.
Shining’s ears flattened as well and he opened his mouth to respond, but she didn’t let him get in a word in.
“Look, I know that sounds really bad,” she added hastily, “but if Mother still wanted you dead, we wouldn’t be talking.”
His ears and eyebrows shot up. “What do you mean still?”
She bit her lip and suppressed a sigh. “I said it’s a long story. Short version is that I got a tip from a sister I really trust that Mother thinks that I’m dangerously attached to you; up to this point, she thought it was a phase and that in the end I’d get over it like ponies get over lost dogs.” She let out a soft, disgusted hiss. “That means that I was going to get reassigned, forcibly, and you’d probably get replaced just like Cadence was, while one of my sisters or Mother herself took my place as Cadence. I don’t know if Cadence is still alive since she’s an alicorn with mastery of love magic; she’d be an important trump card to have. You?" She scoffed bitterly. "To Mother, you’re replaceable and a threat to my wellbeing, so there isn’t a doubt in my mind that she’d kill you.” She let out a slightly relieved sigh and added, “But now that the plan is out in the open, replacing you would be pointless and not worth the effort, so you should be safe. I know how Mother thinks.”
Shining rubbed his temples with his free hoof. “But if she could replace me this whole time, why wasn’t I a long time ago?”
Her face fell and her wings softly buzzed. “Because I love you so much that I begged for it. Mother was going to let me stay with you until you died of old age, until we started… disagreeing.”
“About that,” he started, “what were you arguing about?”
“That’s an even longer story,” she groaned with a small shiver.
Shining’s horn sprung to life, and her shackles unlocked, sliding harmlessly to the floor. He propped her up and held her tight, levitating her forgotten blanket and wrapping it around her. “You can tell me tomorrow,” he whispered. “It’s been a long, long day, for both of us.”
She hugged him back, a warmth beyond the strongest fire spreading through her as she relaxed in his arms. “But… where do we go from here?” she mumbled.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “We’re going to have to tell the princesses, Twilight included. From there… from there we should try to look for the real Cadence. Can I count on your help?”
“Haven’t backed down from saving the day a single time yet, have I?” she chuckled weakly. “Some of my siblings are pony sympathizers, though they’ve been too scared to help me in the past. If I, if we, can get through to them, maybe they can help us track her down, or at least figure out what happened to her.”
“Good,” he sighed with the smallest of smiles. “That’s good…”
The two sat silently in their den, holding each other close, for what felt like forever yet not nearly long enough. After letting the dying fire have its turn to talk, Shining finally nuzzled against her and muttered, “I love you.”
She held him tighter and nuzzled back. “Now I know you’re just saying that… but I love you too.” She pulled her head back and gently kissed him on the cheek, a soft blush coming to his face as he held her tighter.
She always knew Elysium was beyond her reach. But for even just a few minutes, a blink of an eye in her lifetime, she felt like she had something so much better.
Thicker Than Water
That night was quiet. Quiet save for the sound of Shining Armor’s gentle breathing as he slept. He was sleeping soundly, at least. Luna must have been watching over him. Any stallion would otherwise be tossing and turning and sweating after the day he had.
Cadance…Crypsis was not sleeping so soundly. She wasn’t at all, in fact. Sleep kept tugging at her eyelids, its pull growing stronger and stronger by the second. She refused its siren call, drowning it in cup after cup of the blackest coffee available that far north. She didn’t bother with any of the niceties like cream or sugar. The strong, cringe-worthy taste helped her stay awake.
She kept her eyes on the doors and windows of their bedroom; or rather, one of their guest rooms. Shining Armor had insisted she not be allowed to see their normal bedroom. She could only guess what happened, and no reasonable guess was anything good. Still, the room was nice, though with two beds instead of one. Shining slept in one, and the other was untouched.
The clock ticked in the dark as she sat in its embrace. Her changeling eyes flitted from door, to window, to door again, to another window, and so on and so on. No movement, save for the faint shimmering and twinkling of the stars in the night sky. She risked looking at the clock. It was morning, though she hadn’t noticed midnight passing by. The night was still young and she still had plenty of coffee. Hopefully she had enough.
There was a knock on the door. It was a certain rhythm, a certain signal, though nobody would guess it was unless they’d been raised on such codes.
Crypsis’ horn glowed, grabbing hold of the door and pulling it open. In stepped a crystal mare dressed in full royal guard armor, her black coat glittering in the light behind her and her blue eyes piercing in the dark.
“Princess Cadance,” she greeted with a bow. “I do hope I’m not disturbing you.”
“You aren’t, Black Ice,” she said, trying to keep the sleepy slurring to a minimum. She magically closed the door again, leaving them both in the dark. “But you can drop the act, Camea. Unless you have someone eavesdropping, nobody is listening.”
Black Ice blinked, and Camea opened her glowing blue changeling eyes with a burst of green fire. “Are you sure Shining is asleep?”
“I know when he’s faking sleep and when he’s really sleeping,” she chuckled. “He’s asleep.”
“And why aren’t you?” she asked back.
Crypsis lowered her gaze and took another long sip of coffee. “Mostly so I’m ready if Mother has you or our siblings kidnap me tonight.” She cast her eyes over to Shining Armor. “But to be honest, it’s partly because I don’t want to face Luna. She’s no doubt read Shining’s letter by now, and is tapping her hoof in the dream world waiting for me. I haven’t known her as long as I have Celestia or Twilight, but… I still don’t want to see her mad at me. I don’t want to see her hate me.”
“You’ll have to, eventually. There has never been a changeling who lived happily ever after once discovered,” Camea said.
“I know,” Crypsis muttered. “I hope that I’ll be the first, though.”
“If they don’t make your life miserable, Mother will,” Camea said with a sigh. “One way or another, every traitor to the family pays.”
Crypsis scoffed and shook her head, her eyes still on the sleeping Shining. “A traitor… yeah, I guess I am. I have been for years, but to them, not to the family.”
“You are now. You betrayed us, Princess,” Camea said softly. “You may be high born, but you were still our sister. You were still my sister…”
Crypsis tore her gaze from Shining to see Camea’s eyes downcast. Seconds ticked by before Crypsis asked, “What did you come here for? To take me away?”
Camea shook her head. “I ordered all prior instructions from Mother to be on hold until we hear back from her. The situation has changed, after all, and you’re no longer our commander, so that puts me in charge. That’ll buy you some time to get out of the city, but you won’t be safe here for long.”
Crypsis bowed her head. “Thank you, but… why? You already stuck your neck out for me when you told me Mother was going to kill Shining.”
“To return the favor,” she said simply. “I had an operative eavesdrop on your conversation with Shining earlier, when you woke up. You lied for us, told him that you had no idea who in the palace is a changeling.” She sighed and sat down. “I came to ask why you did that. You’ve been so kind to all of us under your command for so long, but you’re a traitor now. You’ve turned your back on your family, we’re your biggest threat, and yet you don’t have us thrown in the dungeon and interrogated. Why? What are you planning?”
“Shining might not have believed me,” Crypsis muttered.
“He believed you enough to let you sleep with him again,” she observed, looking over to Shining.
“In the same room,” Crypsis corrected, following her sister’s gaze. “He doesn’t trust me enough to sleep in the same bed. I don’t think I deserve that right, anyway.” She looked away and took another sip. “Besides… his heart is so broken and desperate to believe that I’m the Cadance he knew and loved that he’s completely ignoring his head. I think some part of him knows that.”
“But he can be a thorough, cautious stallion when he wants to be. He would’ve taken us in for questioning all the same, and if he’s half as desperate as you claim, he would’ve authorized more… advanced methods of interrogation,” Camea reasoned. “At least one of us would’ve cracked.”
The clock ticked and the clock tocked, and Shining breathed in and breathed out. Both went uninterrupted for a while before Crypsis said anything more. “You said it yourself, didn’t you? You’re still my sister. You’re all still my family,” she admitted. “I didn’t want to ‘turn my back’ on anyone, but… I can’t let Mother get her way.” She looked her sister square in the eye. “I can’t let her enslave this continent, hypnotize everyone on it, rule it as its shadow queen. She's grown more cruel and vicious over the past few centuries, and her hate for them will eclipse her love for us sooner or later.”
“She wants to give us a home, Princess,” Camea said softly, pleadingly.
“She wants to make these ponies suffer,” Crypsis shot back. “We can have a home, but it doesn’t have to be like this. It never had to be like this.”
“And what do you suggest?” Camea snapped. “You’ve already ruined your chances at any sort of diplomacy from the inside. Nobody trusts you anymore, Princess. Not changeling, not pony, nobody. The public only trusts you because they don’t know yet, and it will get leaked eventually and throw you into doubt. You’ve lost all the support that really mattered, and now you’ve barred us from living safely for the first time in countless years, all for this one stallion! What could you possibly do to fix this?”
“I… I don’t know,” she admitted. “I don’t know. I was so sick and tired of the lie I was living I thought I could expose her plans, lay down, and die. I was going to be happy with that. Now I’m not so sure. Shining wants to look for the real Cadance like I asked him to, but I don’t know what to do about our family and I don’t know what to do about Mother.” She wiped away a few fledgling tears. “I don’t know what I’m going to do anymore. I’m not even sure what I was thinking to begin with. I want our family, Shining, Equestria, everyone, to be happy, but I don’t know how to do it.”
Camea shook her head and stood up. “Don’t look to me for help. It was a mistake to tell you what Mother was planning for Shining in the first place. It’s probably a mistake to buy you time to leave in the next few days. I’m not doing you any more favors, Crypsis; my loyalty to you has run out. Once the orders come down to drag you away, you’re not getting any slack from me.” She turned her back on her princess and trotted to the door, every step a restrained stomp.
She flinched, steadying herself as she gulped down the last of her cup of coffee. As she refilled it from the pot, she said with a small sigh, “I guess I shouldn’t expect anything else. Tell your wife I said hello; I hope you’ll still be happy together.”
Camea hesitated, but only for an instant. When she opened the door and left, she was Captain Black Ice once more. When the door closed, Crypsis was left alone in the dark, with only a sleeping Shining and her coffee for company.
Heart to Heart
“Mother… Mother, no, please!”
Crypsis struggled against her bonds, a fly trapped in a spider web of chains, as Shining screamed again, the sound ringing in her ears long after it actually stopped. Tears ran down her muzzle, dripping rhythmically on the floor as she dangled. Her shackles dug into her ankles and neck, the steel burning against her skin. Her eyes were screwed shut, unable to look anymore.
There was the sound of metal clattering to the floor. “You’ve been far too wild for far too long,” said the ethereal voice of her mother, dripping with sickening sweetness like poisoned honey. “You need to learn to not be so attached to your food. It’s not healthy.”
“Please, Mother, I’ll do anything you want,” Crypsis pleaded, hyperventilating with heavy, panting breaths, her mind wild with fear. “Just stop hurting him, please!”
“It’s just a pony, dearest,” her mother hummed as a new instrument was chosen, metal scraping against metal. “A fickle beast easily controlled with a little hypnosis. And this one had the audacity to seduce you, corrupt you, make you disobey me. That’s a crime I simply can’t abide!”
There was a sickening squelch and another scream. Crypsis’ stomach turned and heart screamed along with him.
“He’s my husband! I love him, Mother!” she shrieked. “Please, please stop!”
“Not until you’ve both learned your lesson, honey,” her mother hissed softly. “Now please stop shouting. I don’t mind the beast here screaming, but I raised you to take your punishments like a big girl.”
“No!”
Somehow, despite her closed eyes, she saw a blue mist swirl into her vision. “So this is what you’ve been dreaming about,” said the mist, the voice all too familiar.
“Luna?” Crypsis managed to choke out. “What’re you…?” As the mistress of the night formed in her mind, it finally clicked. “This… this is only a dream.” She struggled against her chains, their weight lifted by pure relief flowing through her. “I must’ve fallen asleep! Oh thank sweet Celestia, it’s only a dream!”
“A nightmare,” Luna said simply as her horn glowed. There was a burst of light, and gone were the chains, her murderous mother, and her hurting husband, leaving the two mares in the hive’s torture chamber. Black chitin lined the walls and floors, with green, bioluminescent growths as the only source of light. “And quite a telling one, at that.”
Crypsis rubbed her neck, the burn of her steel collar still there, as she looked up at the alicorn. “Telling?” she rasped. “Telling how?”
“About what you fear most this night,” Luna said as she sat down, eyes on Crypsis like a hawk. “To be honest, I expected something selfish, like retribution against you from myself, the other royals, your husband, your own family… but this was a surprise.”
Crypsis lowered her head, hiding behind her pink mane. “I thought you knew me better than that, Luna.”
“I knew Cadance better than that,” Luna said, voice betraying a wellspring of anger. “You are a stranger to me, changeling.”
“Crypsis,” she said softly, lowering her head further. “My name is Crypsis.”
“Whatever your wretch of a mother named you, you are certainly a stranger to me now,” Luna snapped. “I thought I knew you, certainly, but I never expected my friend to be a traitor!”
Crypsis recoiled from the alicorn’s brewing wrath. “I’m sorry,” was all she could say as the tears fell anew. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for lying to you. I’ll understand if you’ll never forgive me.”
There was a few seconds of silence before Luna let out a sigh. “That said,” she started, the enraged edge to her voice dulled, “I’m the last mare in the world that can throw stones when it comes to making bad decisions. Mine almost ended all life on the planet as we know it. In comparison, treason might as well be a foal stealing sweets.”
Through her sobs, Crypsis worked up the courage to raise her head. Her eyes found Luna wearing a sad smile, a foreleg extended in an offered embrace. “You… you really mean it?” she asked weakly.
Luna nodded, her face cast in shadows from the dim, green lights. “I do. Shining’s letter was disjointed and distressed, but he told us the major details. It was brave of you to defy your mother and your family to do what you felt was right. One of the bravest things I’ve seen in a long while.”
“I…” Crypsis shook her head and dove into Luna’s forelegs, happily accepting the embrace. The alicorn’s grip was soft and tight, the changeling’s chitin warmed by her fur and the changeling’s heart warmed by the gesture. “Thank you. I-I’ve had no idea what to do, what if I did was right, if I completely ruined everything or not, and, I… thank you!”
Luna leaned down and nuzzled her mane, wiping Crypsis’ tears away with a hoof. “However,” she said, a dreaded word, “your decision to commit suicide thereafter was heinous.”
Crypsis shrank in the alicorn’s grip. “I know… I know. I need to face the music, not just run away. I’ve done horrible things, and I deserve to-”
Luna put her hoof on Crypsis’ lips. She pulled away a little, tears running down her own face as she said, “No, because you’re my friend, you foolish, foolish mare. As bad as affairs are at the moment, they can be remedied. Changeling or no, I would never forgive myself if I lost you over this, or anything else.”
Crypsis avoided eye contact, trying to pull away from the hug as if it burned. “Luna, I almost doomed the country. No, not just that, I almost doomed two countries to enslavement! I don’t deserve your friendship, or anyone else’s.”
Luna just held her tighter, laying her head on Crypsis’ neck. “And thankfully such things aren’t up to you, Cadance… Crypsis. You need a friend more than ever in these dark times, and I’m more than willing to provide.”
Crypsis paused, pondering as her own tears fell into Luna’s coat, before finally returning the hug. “Thank you, Luna. I… I can’t even begin to thank you properly, but thank you so much.”
“Make no mistake, I am very angry with you,” Luna said through gritted teeth, “but in the end, I still love you. I think the others, even Shining, will come to that same conclusion. Just give it time.”
Crypsis shook her head and pulled away to look Luna in the eye. “I don’t think we have time, Luna. Mother won’t take this lying down. Shining and I are targets now, and there’s nobody we can trust besides you and the other alicorns. Anybody in both your courts and mine could be one of my siblings.”
“But you don’t know who,” Luna said with a raised brow.
Crypsis shook her head. “No, I don’t. I only have info on my own branch, and they’ve decided to stay neutral, for now. The only changeling that knows everyone’s positions is, well, Mother herself. Unless we have a plan, we’re sunk sooner or later.”
“Sister and I have been discussing courses of action. She thinks that we should offer asylum to any and all changelings that wish to defect from your mother’s empire,” Luna explained, stroking Crypsis’ back gently. “You can’t be the only one that feels the way you do about Chrysalis, it’d provide us with valuable intel from a wide range of regions, and we could use them for counter-intelligence work.”
Crypsis paused and hummed, thinking it over. “I’m not the only one, I know that. But don’t expect a huge turnout; most of my siblings are either fiercely loyal to Mother, or absolutely terrified of her. And even then, you’ll only get drones. My high-born sisters would never dream of betraying an empire that suites them so well,” she spat with a hiss.
“Still, it would be a start. And then there’s the matter of finding Cadance. Even if we do find her, we have no way of knowing if it’s another fake. We’ve decided that once you arrive in Canterlot, we’ll put Twilight to the task of devising a means to dispel changeling disguises.” Luna paused and added, hesitation clear, “Once Twilight calms down, that is.”
Crypsis let out a worried little chitter, her wings humming. “How is she taking the news…?”
“Not well,” Luna sighed, ears flat. “She at first was disbelieving, but has since flown into a grief-stricken rage. We’re hoping she settles down by the time you arrive.”
Crypsis stared into space, her wings lightly buzzing as she thought. “This… this is going to take years to fix… isn’t it?” she asked, voice soft and afraid.
“Perhaps even decades,” Luna answered, nuzzling her muzzle against the changeling’s.
“I was afraid of that,” Crypsis mumbled, weakly returning the gesture.
Luna looked down at the younger mare with concern in her eyes and asked, “Cadance… Crypsis… how do you see this whole affair ending?”
Crypsis’ wings hummed again, and she took in a deep breath. “With Shining filing for divorce… and my mother in jail, or me in a casket.”
“You really think she’d kill you if we don’t stop her?” Luna asked gently.
“No. But if she takes me away from Shining, from you, from everyone else… if she locks me in the hive… I won’t hesitate to end it.” She looked up at Luna with placid, resolute eyes. “I’d have nothing left, anyway.”
Luna held her close once more, draping her neck and head over the smaller mare. “Please don’t say things like that. If your mother does steal you from us, we’ll save you. I promise.”
Crypsis found no words to say as she relaxed in Luna’s embrace, her ears drinking in the larger mare’s soft breathing as she basked in the warmth of the alicorn’s fur. She couldn’t tell if moments or minutes of silence followed between the two. It hardly mattered. It was still a while before she said, “Luna?”
“Yes?”
“Could you… please not leave? Until I wake up, anyway,” she asked with a shiver. “I really don’t want to dream again.”
“Whatever you desire,” Luna answered. She gently draped her wings around the changeling dreamer, and the two friends sat together in the comfort of silence and stillness until the waking world once again beckoned.
Author's Notes:
With eternal lateness, I apologize for the huge gap between chapters. My muse is a fickle, flighty thing, and it didn't feel like working with me on this story for the longest time. Coupled with being paralyzed by fear that my writing may be getting worse, and you get one very frustrated writer. I'm still afraid that this continuation can't capture the power of the original one-shot, but many of you wanted more and I am still seeking to provide. I just hope it's good enough.