(There is a certain way that this story is written, considering it is indeed a real documentary

Italics are known as talking head interviews, where the character can express their opinions.

These interviews serves as breaks in the actual story, and is in no way meant to disrupt your reading experience.)

"What is Rich's Barnyard Bargains you may ask?"

"Is it an idea...or is it something else?"

Filthy Rich stared at the camera, a smug smile plastered on his face.

"My name is Filthy Rich, owner of Rich's Barnyard Bargains where everypony is equal and no pony gets more than they deserve. Some of you may recognize us in Canterlot, Fillydelphia, Vanhoover, or even Ponyville. I wouldn't put it past you if you even saw us in Tartarus AHAHAHAHA"

The earth pony started to guffaw like a hyena, slamming the table with his hooves. After what seemed like a long...dreadful minute, he managed to straighten out his brown mane, taking in a deep breath.

"But in all honesty we don't do deals there. Rich's Barnyard Bargains is about family...and when you've got family...that's when you got a pony you can trust. So whether it's gifts, food, or just a little something for yourself, don't shop poor. Shop Rich. Filthy Rich!"

He pauses for a second. "I ought to add that in our new slogan."

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Pilot: Day 1

"Here goes nothing," Flam sighed. The imposing brown building before him was remarkable to say the least.

Designed to resemble a giant brown barn, Rich's Barnyard Bargains was a goliath in a pool of small shops. Two stories high, and supposedly made with timber from the Everfree Forest, Filthy spared no expense in making his store look absolutely intimidating to the competition.

Stepping through the plexiglass doors, he could see mares and fillies running down the canyons that they called isles. Shelves that seemed to stretch for miles each had an immense moneybag dangling on tweed wires, with the numbers made to look like prices with their fancy cent sign and curved features. On the ceiling was an impressive hot air balloon made to resemble zap apple jam, the product that started this company.

Towards the front, the right was composed of a long row of rather ornate metal cashier boxes. Although the cashiers who were running them were either invisible or non-existent. On the left was a collection of various carts, plows, rafts, and even gliders.

Flam nervously tucked at his collar, despite having worn this black suit on multiple occasions. Every now and then, his eyes shifted to the camera that was constantly watching him. Initially he had wanted to say something, but the pony behind the camera seemed to insist that they too were here on some sort of business, although what he could not be sure of.

With a heavy sigh, he slowly made his way towards the end of the middle isle, where a tiny brown door had been left ajar.

Flam walked steadily, but with grace, his rather slender figure snaking past the occasional customer who was checking the price of a rake vs. a shovel. Among regular barnyard tools were packaged vegetables, gears, sports equipment, and everything the pony mind could imagine.

It was a plethora of everything!

At last, he came to the oak wood door that stood as his gateway between income and poverty. Without even taking a second glance back, he pushed through the wooden blockade.

If the store had been an impressive site to see, the office would have probably made most ponies gag. There was a tiny, moth eaten sofa next to a rather flimsy water cooler. At the far end, the beige colored room expanded, filled with various bulletins and charts as well as a few motivational posters here and there. Even farther ahead were two glass offices. One currently had the shutters down while the other was exposed, revealing a tiny wooden table with a couple of swivel chairs.

In the main room-if it could even be called one-were eight desks arranged in squares of four. Most of the desks were barren, but a few here and there were furnished with typewriters, ink wells, quills, wilted plants, and even a few brightly colored picture frames.

And on top of that it was silent...dead silent.

Flam didn't know if he was even in the Barnyard Bargains, although he highly doubted such a rudimentary door would serve its purpose to just...well...be there. For a moment, he simply took a deep breath, allowing the silence to soothe him.

"What's up?" a feminine voice pepped up. Flam nearly jumped back, his eyes wide in fear. The mare before him had a plum covered coat and a mulberry colored mane, which seemed to be rather bushy as well. Her cutie mark was oddly enough a grape and strawberry, and it was about as vague as the expression she was giving him at the moment.

"You are?"

"Flam," the beige coated stallion finally blurted, "I'm here for the...errr...job?"

"Oh," the mare giggled, holding out her hoof for the nervous red maned colt to shake. "Name's Berry Punch."

"Flam," he replied once more, causing the mare to start guffawing again. Her laugh seemed to be more of a cross between a rhino, a hippo, and a wolf with an angry chipmunk somewhere in the mix.

"Won't forget your name," Berry Punch promised, before moving towards one of the "occupied" desks. "In fact...weren't you and that other guy...what's his name..."

"Flim?" Flam offered.

"Yeah," Berry Punch grinned, "your brother right? Traveling salesponies nonpareil? Whatever happened to him?"

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Interview: Barnyard Bargains

"After we left Ponyville," Flam began, his green eyes locked with the camera, "Me and my brother began to lose out on business. Apparently, pissing an Element of Harmony off in front of an entire town kinda does that to a salespony. So we filed for bankruptcy. I sold the machine...our...means of locomotion...."

Flam takes a moment to stop, wiping his eyes with a handkerchief from his suit pocket. "And I...well...I told Flim that I didn't want to do this anymore. And here I am!"

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Interview: Gecko Insurance

"I took it personally," Flim recalled, now sitting in a grey cubicle, his white shirt and black tire hanging loosely as he scratched a stubby red beard. "I mean...he told me at dinner, even helped me get to Canterlot too. I found a job here in a fine establishment, making a living like any other pony. And it isn't like I'm switching careers? I'm still a salespony! I sell insurance now...Gecko Insurance."

Flim pauses for a second, before reaching down and taking out a tiny white form. "Which by the way, I strongly recommend purchasing. 15 minutes now can save you 15% on cart insurance. Would be really great in case you ever dropped that camera."

After an awkward moment of silence, Flim decides to drop his spiel for more information on his backstory. "But anyway, I'm here now. Doing what I can. I'm even making some friends!"

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A bit earlier at Gecko Insurance.

"Hey hot stuff," Flim's eyes were glued to a red mare's flank, his other hoof holding a tiny mug of coffee. As for the mare in question, she simply scoffed before trotting away, leaving the stallion once more to his own thoughts.

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Interview: Gecko Insurance

Flim seemed to ponder on this, a scowl slowly forming over his face. "Alright so I may have wooed more mares when I was a traveling salespony...especially when I got them drunk."

The stallion starts to grin as he pictures the scene in his mind. "Yeah...that usually got them. And then I installed that stupid record player in the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000."

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Interview: Barnyard Bargains

Flam was still wiping his own tears. Finally, he managed to look up at the camera. "I know I'm asking for a lot, but when you get the chance...can you visit my brother in Canterlot? Works for Gecko Insurance?"

"Sure," a gentle voice spoke out.

Flam nodded appreciatively. "Thanks...and then tell the owner at the scrapyard that I found a pony who calculated our machine's value. If you find that particular pegasus, tell him that he's a ***** ****hole!"

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"Hey buddy," Berry Punch was waving at Flam, who was now in some trance. "Buddy you awake?"

When Flam finally managed to shake himself back to reality, he began looking over the entire room like he had been here before. "Oh sorry, Berry. But ummm...we are no longer in the cider business. And my brother now works in Canterlot!"

"Oh good for him!" Berry Punch nodded. "Well anyhow, if you want to see the boss, Sparks is in the office. Probably writing another letter to corporate."

"Great." Flam's voice sounded dull, but at least he smiled. "Well I guess I'll go see him then..."

Berry Punch tilted her head as if he had just blabbered gibberish. Once again examining his outfit, Flam determined it was not his own fashion choice that had somehow upset the mare.

"Ummmm...what?"

"Oh nothing," Berry excused herself with a chuckle, before winking at the camera. "Yeah...ummm Sparks is a pretty tough stallion though. If you want to impress him, you gotta look like you just came from a fight!"

Flam raised a brow, clearly confused as to what the mare was saying. "You're kidding right? A fight? I can't even begin-"

"Do you want the job?" Berry Punch interjected, her face serious.

"Ye-yes?" Flam stammered.

"Then just do it!" Berry Punch sighed, "It'll show him you're super tough and all."

"Okay," Flam shrugged, "But I'm just saying that I've never met a-"

"Believe me," Berry Punch leaned over her desk. "You've never seen a pony like Sparks."

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Interview: Barnyard Bargains

"My name's Berry Punch," the purple colored mare chirped, squirming in her seat. "I've been working in Rich's Barnyard Bargains for a good 2 years now. Veteran employee if you don't know. Wasn't even raised here either. Born in Manehattan, and boy will I tell ya' we do things a whole lot differently over there. Here, the town sees me drinking alcohol and all of a sudden...I'm the town drunk!"

She holds her hooves out, her eyes wide in disbelief. "Tells you how ponies are in small rural towns. Pretty lame."

Berry Punch stares off in the distance. "Flam ought to be getting 'dressed now', poor fool."

"May I ask," the mysterious voice of the camera pony breaks out again, "was this intentional?"

Berry Punch chuckled. "That sourcream pie? Of course it was! This fool nearly tried to poison this town with that wretched liquid they call cider and now he thinks he can take my job? Not a chance, kiddo."
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"How do I look?" Flam's nice suit had been exchange for a rather tattered shirt that showed a minotaur tackling a sea serpent. His mane was now in disarray, his hooves covered in dirt and his mustache caked with mud.

Berry Punch almost wanted to gag, but held it back, exchanging her look of horror to a pleasant smile. "You look great honey."

"Better get going then?" Flam trudged towards the right-most office, several clumps of mud sticking to the grey carpet as a reeking odor penetrated Berry Punch's nostrils. But the mare had spent enough nights at the tavern to have her nostrils immune to all sorts of peculiar scents.

Flam, on the other hoof, marched with a dignified air, despite the mud that clumped on his mustache. As the brown oak door-the only non-glass apparel he saw- grew ever so slightly, the unicorn couldn't help but imagine what he was going to do with this job. At last, he wouldn't be relying on commission alone. He would have to pay tax, and probably find a place to live eventually, but that could be discussed with his agent later.

"Destiny," Flam beamed at himself, "HERE I COME!"

And with that the doors flung open, revealing a pink coated unicorn mare and with a violet mane and tail. Currently she was using her horn to lift a quill, which she prompy dropped as her purple eyes widened in terror.

"SWEET CELESTIA," she shrieked, "WHO LET THE VAGRANT IN AGAIN?"