When Spike had written to Twilight, asking if she could help him find a nice restaurant in Canterlot to take Pinkie Pie to, she had gone a little overboard. Luna had booked them a table at what she promised was the best restaurant in all of Equestria.

He wasn’t sure who, but one of the princess’ had even decided to send the private Royal Coach from Canterlot. Spike had groaned when the train arrived, the last car bearing a purple flag with a green dragon heraldic sigil. The porters ushered Pinkie Pie and himself to the private car.

Spike watched the scenery pass by as the train to Canterlot sped along the tracks. Pinkie Pie skipped around the car examining everything the private car had to offer.

“They got us cupcakes!” Pinkie shouted with glee. “Ooooh, they’re Mr. and Mrs. Cake’s cakes.” She bounced back into the room. “Awww, Pound and Pumpkin even left me a message. ‘Please come and see us Auntie Pinkie.’ Can we Spikey?” Pinkie jumped onto the seat next to him.

“Of course we can. We’ve got a whole day in Canterlot.” Spike answered, reaching for the box of cakes. He managed to pick out an eclair before Pinkie Pie devoured the rest of the sweets in one mouthful.

Pinkie returned to exploring the car. “Oooo, Spikey! Come and check out this bed.”

Spike slowly lumbered into the room. Despite the smoothness of the ride, he still struggled walking through a moving carriage. He stepped through the door to the room Pinkie Pie was in. She was jumping on the bed, nearly touching the ceiling with every bounce.

“Pinkie –” he stared down at the disheveled bed “– I don’t think the Princess’ would want you to use their bed as a trampoline.”

“Then why isn’t there a trampoline?” Pinkie slowed her bouncing. “Oh wait, maybe there is. I’ll find it!”

Spike tried to straighten the bed as Pinkie jumped down to continue rummaging through the various cabinets around the room, presumably looking for the royal trampoline.

“Oooh! Spike, there’s a letter for you.” Pinkie passed the note to Spike. “Oh, and they have balloons!”

Spike opened the envelope.

Dear Spike,

Have fun, but be safe.

Twilight.

Spike felt time slow, the air resistant to his movement, like he was trying to turn in syrup. He lunged forward and grabbed the small box from Pinkie before she could open it. He lumbered towards the window, opening it and then throwing the small box outside.

“Awww!” Pinkie pouted. “Now we don’t have balloons. Oh wait! Yes we do.” Giggling, she pulled several colored actual balloons from her mane. “Maybe somepony else will find those other balloons and have a party too!”

Spike excused himself, returning to his seat. He wish he could have written it off as a prank by his sister, but recalling a very embarrassing, awkward discussion she’d had with him when he was younger he knew it was no prank. Twilight still retained a certain social awkwardness about her, even after her coronation.

His cheeks flushed scarlet at the memory. Try as he might, he could not shake the memories from his mind.

The talk. The books. The diagrams and flowcharts. The film.

The written exam!

The train arrived at Canterlot station late morning. Three ponies approached them as they disembarked the train. Spike recognised the two guards approaching, Stout Shield and Tower Defense as members of Twilight’s guard. He didn’t recognise the cloaked black unicorn between them. The unicorn stallion stepped forward, his posture stiff and his head high.

He cracked his hoof against the ground.

Crack.

Crack.

Crack.

“I, Black Rod,” the stallion bellowed, “am commanded this day by Her Majesty Princess Celestia to deliver unto you this communication bearing the royal seal of the throne–” he shouted the last part, in a commanding voice “– of Equestria!”

The stallion levitated a scroll. Unfurling it, he read.

“Her Highness, Princess Celestia welcomes the Most Honorable Spike the Dragon of Spikeopolis, to her humble lands. Whilst you are visiting our lands, you have been extended this seal –” Black Rod levitated a small wooden box, which Spike caught “– which shall identify you as a diplomat between our two nations.”

Spike looked around, nearly every pony at the station had stopped and watched the display.

“We hope your mission is a success, and do hope you have time to visit.

“Signed,” he paused. “Princess Celestia.”

“What–” Spike started.

“P.S. Thank you very much for for the cake, it was absolutely delicious, and unmistakably regal.”

Black Rod rolled the scroll up, and placed it back in his cloak. He gave a sharp bow, and left. Spike watched the receding unicorn, completely dumbstruck.

Pinkie had opened the small wooden box he was holding. “Oooo, Spikey, what’s this? It’s shiney!”

Spike looked down, and it was indeed shiney. A polished silver medal, a shield with an open book and a dragon claw on it. Below the insignia, he read the words.

Timent Dorkus Draco.

Spike chuckled. “Celestia, you sure don’t do things in halves!”

Spike, Pinkie Pie and the two guards moved through the streets. Stout and Tower had informed him that they were not able to leave the train station until he donned the insignia. He was thankful that, aside from the Princesses and a few scholars at the Canterlot University, no ponies studied ancient Mannulus these days.

Their first stop was to Sugarcube Shoppe, the Canterlot headquarters for the Cakes franchise. It was a quaint little three story building, far more subdued than their old bakery in Ponyville. But the awnings had been decorated with small cake motifs, enough that it was identifiable as the Cake’s business, but subdued enough that it fit in with the buildings around it.

“Auntie Pinkie!” Pound and Pumpkin dashed forward to hug Pinkie Pie.

“Hey, you two!” Pinkie beamed, as she returned their embrace. “Oh, I missed you so much.”

Spike ventured to the counter when Pinkie and the two foals started a trio rendition of the Piggy Dance song.

“Heya there Spike! Long time no see,” Mr. Cake greeted. “Cup, sweetie? Pinkie and Spike are here.”

“Oh, hello dears!” Cup Cake came out of the kitchen. She trotted over to Pinkie Pie and gave her a warm hug. “Pinkie it’s been too long.”

Mr Cake turned to Spike. “Can I get you something Spike? Coffee? Muffin? A slice of cake?”

“Yeah, a coffee and a slice of chocolate cake would be nice.” He frowned at Pinkie. “Somepony ate all the cakes on the train. Though maybe to be safe I should order a milkshake and a second slice of cake for her.” Smiling, Spike pulled a few bits out of his bag.

“Don’t worry about that, Spike.” Mr. Cake pushed the bits back towards Spike. “Pinkie’s like family to us. Consider it on the house.”

Spike returned the bits to his bag, and Mr. Cake started on the coffee and milkshake. “So how’s business been lately?”

“It’s been quiet, but this is the calm before the storm, my boy! I dare say we’ll be seeing more business after the wedding.” Mr. Cake grinned, as he made his way to the cake selections. “Princess Twilight requested the wedding cake from us personally!”

“Wow, that’s amazing, Mr. Cake; congratulations! A Royal wedding, that’ll cause a real boom in business. Assuming, of course, it doesn’t go like most royal weddings.

“AJ and Dash have a bet going. Dash has money on Queen Bugface showing up again. AJ thinks Discord will turn the dresses into pudding or something.” Spike chuckled. “You should have seen Rarity’s face when AJ said that.”

“Well, so long as he stays away from the cake.” Mr. Cake laughed, pushing the now filled tray forward. “Alright, here’s everything.”

“Thanks Mr. Cake,” Spike replied as he picked up the tray. He managed to balance as he walked on his rear legs and placed the tray on the table. Pinkie Pie joined him, and shared her cake with Pumpkin. Pound sat next to Spike.

He picked up his fork, but before he could even take a bite Pound Cake looked up at him with large, soulful eyes.

“Hey buddy. What’s up?”

“Chocolate cake is my favorite,” Pound Cake responded, matter-of-factly.

Spike looked down at his cake. It looked great. It looked reeeeeeeally great. He sighed, and passed the plate across to the foal next to him.

Spike picked up his coffee, watching Pound bury his face into the cake. The cake didn’t look as appealing now it was smeared across the foals face. Across the table Pinkie Pie was clapping encouragement for Pumpkin, who was making an effort to levitate the fork full of cake to her mouth.

“Pound! Pumpkin! What are you two doing?” Mr. Cake stormed across the room.

“It’s okay, Mr. Cake.” Spike sighed.

“It most certainly is not!” He towered over the two foals. “You two are supposed to be grounded. No sweets! Now, off to your room.” The two foals grumbled as they walked up the stairs.

Mr. Cake left with the two dirty plates, and returned with two more slices of cake.

‘Luna’s choice in restaurants sure leaves something to be desired.’

Spike and Pinkie sat awkwardly in the stifling atmosphere. They’d received several unkind looks when they arrived, the other patrons visibly unnerved by the standing royal guards with the pair. Less than five minutes after he and Pinkie sat down, the couple closest to Spike had called the waiter and moved to another table.

Of course this could have been his presence, or the guards standing between their table and the rest of the restaurant. Most likely though was Pinkie Pie’s loud giggling over a joke Spike had told to lighten the mood.

“Sheesh, tough crowd,” Pinkie Pie said, while pretending to straighten her tie. At least that was what Spike assumed she was doing, as she wasn’t wearing a tie.

That could also have been the issue. The stuffy nobles around them all wore formal attire, the mares in the finest haute couture, the men in their finest bespoke evening jackets and ties. In contrast to Pinkie Pie and himself, who were both au naturale.

Well, he was almost au naturale. Stout and Tower still hadn’t let him take off that stupid medal.

They stuck out like a dragon in a restaurant. It was the most apt metaphor he could think of at the time.

When the meal came, Spike was sorely disappointed. He had expected that for forty bits, his meal would be large enough to fill his stomach. Pinkie Pie’s was no better.

“Excuse me, waiter?” Pinkie waved the waiter over. She wore a very confused expression on her face. “Ummm, I think the chef forgot to make my meal. There’s only garnish on this plate.”

“Mademoiselle, zat is your meal.” The waiter harrumphed rudely.

“Ooooh!” Pinkie looked around at the other patrons. “No wonder all the mares look so starved.”

Spike was certain he’d heard one of the guards laugh, though neither moved, so he couldn’t be sure which one.

“Hey Pinkie?” Spike stood, holding his hand out to her. “Want to go find somewhere to get a burger and some hayfries?”

They managed to find a street vendor selling food to the younger crowd readying for a night of partying. Pinkie groaned with pleasure as she ate her falafel kebab. Spike enjoyed his hayfries and burger.

As the four of them walked through Canterlot Commons, Spike smiled to himself. He knew the perfect place to finish the evening. Sure, it wasn’t overly romantic, but he was certain Pinkie Pie would love it all the same.

The place was packed.

“Hey, Pony Joe! Long time no see,” Spike called out.

“Hey, Spikey boy!” Donut Joe greeted from the counter. “And if it isn’t Agent Double-Oh Pink. How are you two doin?”

“Hiya Joe!” Pinkie bounced towards the counter.

“Anything the lady asks for, Joe.” Spike dropped his bag of bits on the counter.

Donut Joe turned to Pinkie, who already had her rump in the air, her nose pressed hard against the display case. “Hope that there’s a bottomless bag o’ bits, Spikey, cause I think you’re gunna be here a while.”

“I’ll start with a dozen donuts with super sprinkles.”

Spike ordered a few donuts for himself, groaning loudly with exaggerated pleasure. Stout and Tower watched, their mouths watering. Spike was well aware that Donut Joe’s was a common haunt amongst the royal guards. Spike could tell at a glance most of the other patrons were off duty guards.

“Hey Joe,” Spike called the pony back. “How about a few donuts for my boys over there? Stout, Tower, what will you have?”

A cough from the gentlecolt beside him drew their attention. “On duty guards aren’t supposed to eat.”

Stout and Tower let out a grumble simultaneously. Pinkie let out a gasp that could be heard over the din of the donut shop. “You can’t eat while you are working that would be terrible like if I couldn’t sample the cupcakes while I was cooking I’d not be able to tell if they were any good so I have to eat while I am working I couldn’t imagine not being able to eat…” Her eyes wandered back to the second round of donuts Joe had set before her. “these… delicious… tasting… what was I talking about?”

“Guards don’t need to test cooking while they work,” the heavy set stallion next to Pinkie said. “We just guard. But when we’re off duty, we can enjoy anything we want.” He took a bite of the sugar frosted jam donut, staring back at the two with a smile on his face.

Spike noticed many of the other patrons, now audibly enjoying their orders.

“Oh man, I couldn’t eat another bite. Maybe just one more.”

“Joe, is this a new recipe? These are amazing.”

“Have you tried the custard ones?”

“Oh yeah, I think that’s a new favorite of mine.”

Spike chuckled as Pinkie joined in the conversation with the stallions about the different donuts, oblivious to the hazing that was going on.

The laughter was interrupted by a guardspony bursting through the door.

“There you are!” he shouted. Calling back out the door, “Captain Silver, we found them.”

The captain came through the door, barking orders at everypony. “Everypony move. The dragon and the pink one need to be escorted to the castle now! Shields up, everypony. Keep those barriers strong.”

Spike found himself and Pinkie surrounded by royal guards, uniformed or not. Captain Silver led the twenty strong group of soldiers through the streets. The streets were in complete pandemonium. Carts were turned over, street vendors were shouting. Guards were pouring out of the alleyways, residents hanging out from their windows to see what the commotion was.

Spike wrapped a wing over Pinkie. Whatever was happening, the guards were protecting all sides with the barriers, but if somepony was out to hurt them, they would have to get through him first. Spike worried, he could feel Pinkie Pie shaking under his wing. Whatever was happening was frightening her, and that made him angry.

“Watch those windows. Keep an eye on our flank. Skip,” the captain called to one of the pegasi. “Inform the commander we are ten-seventy-six to the castle; eta ten minutes.”

They moved quickly through the streets. By the time they had reached the castle, there were some forty plus guards protecting them. Most stayed at the entrance to the castle, but Captain Silver lead them through the halls to wherever they were going.

“Your highness, we have extracted the two as commanded. We’ve increased the patrols around the castle, do not fear.”

Spike stepped through the doors to the room where Twilight, Luna and Celestia were sitting, eating a meal.

“Very good. Thank you, Captain.” Twilight nodded. “That is all.”

“Hiya Princess. And Princess. And Princess.” Pinkie snorted with laughter as she bounced into the room.

“What’s happened?” Spike moved quickly to the table. “Is everything alright? Is everypony okay?”

Luna and Twilight burst out laughing. Pinkie fell on the floor rolling.

“Sorry, Spikey,” Twilight said, as she managed to stop her giggles. “Everything is alright. Just wanted to liven up your evening.”

“The fun was doubled, was it not?” Luna chuckled.

Spike turned to Pinkie, who was having trouble breathing. “You knew about this?”

“Pinkie Sense has prankie sense too,” she managed to get out, between fits of laughter. “Oh girls, that was such a good one.”

“Using the royal guard for pranks. You two will never grow up.” Celestia tut-tutted, with a grin on her face.

“A prank? The streets were pandemonium!” Spike was holding his chest, trying to regain his breath.

“Hmm,” Luna stroked her chin. “Mayhaps we were a little zealous in our orders to bring them back from the restaurant, my love.”

“They weren’t at the restaurant.”

Everypony turned to Celestia.

“What do you mean?” Twilight asked.

“They left for Donut Joe’s shop two hours ago.” Celestia took a small bite of her salad. “The guards have been trying to find them since.” Twilight and Luna paled.

“Please, join us.” Celestia motioned for Spike and Pinkie to sit. “I already sent out an apology letter to everypony in the area this morning, explaining that it was a drill. Don’t worry, the two of you manage to get everything sorted during tonight’s courts.”

“But what? How–” Twilight stammered. "Luna and I only planned this–"

“Now, if you will excuse me, I must rest for the evening.” Celestia walked to the door. “It is good to see you again, Spike, Pinkie Pie.

“Oh, and Twilight?” The princess grinned as she stepped through the door. “Checkmate.”