Twilight was steaming, for lack of a better word. Her mane was disheveled; her tail was starting to fall apart; her coat began to clump. Sweat rolled down her forehead. She had scoured her entire library on the subject; to her chagrin, there were hardly any books on the matter, and the ones that did exist were illegible or in terrible shape. The entirety of the Ponyville library didn't have what she wanted. Nothing. She was certain she'd seen one somewhere. But where? Why couldn't she find any? Her report to Princess Celestia would be tar--

No, Twilight. It would be late. Don't say the t-word.

Twilight resumed searching the main floor, looking between shelf after shelf for the books she desired. She cursed the fact that Spike wouldn't be coming for another two days. Why did her report have to be due tomorrow? Sure, she didn't earn her title of "Celestia's star pupil" for nothing, but the assignment came out of bucking nowhere! Didn't the princess realize that ponies have limitations? Why in the world would she--

A knocking came at the front door. Does nobody ever read the signs anymore? It says "Closed" for a reason! Twilight muttered foul words under her breath as she walked to the door. She opened it and found Rainbow Dash with a blank stare on her face.

"Hey, Twi--whoa, what's up with you?" Rainbow Dash said.

"Why is it bright outside?" Twilight asked. "It was dark outside five minutes ago! Agh!"

"Twilight, it's six o'clock."

"Yeah! At night!"

Rainbow stared at Twilight. "Twi, are you okay--?"

"No, I'm not okay! I have to give a report to Princess Celestia by tomorrow and I'm gonna be--"

"Don't say it, Twi. Listen, I think you need to relax or something--"

"Relax? Relax!? I don't have time to relax!"

"...have you looked in a mirror lately?"

"Do you think I have time?"

"Twilight, chill. I'm sure Princess Celestia'll cut you some slack. Especially after what happened last time. Anyway, I came to tell you that I won a yacht cruise for six in a Daring Do fanfic competition and I'm bringing everypony with me."

"I'm not going! I have to write a report! And besides, Rainbow, I'm not even packed."

"It's just for the day. Come on, let's go."

"I refuse!"

"Twi, come on! I invite you on a relaxing cruise--"

"Don't say that word around me. I can't afford to."

"I really didn't wanna have to do this, but you're going to relax..." Rainbow turned her rear to Twilight, right hind leg in the air. "Whether you like it or not!"

Thwack.

---

"...mares and gentlecolts, the Royal Sunset will depart in two minutes."

Twilight felt numb. Her head was throbbing. She felt like she was getting dragged... wait. Dragged? Where was she? Didn't she have something important to do oh Celestia the report

Her body instantly shot up, a rush of adrenaline filling her body. Her eyes darted back and forth. She was on an oddly clean wooden pier with hundreds of ponies all around her. A large, beautiful, decorated yacht was docked in the pier.

"Uh, Rainbow? ...Twilight's awake," a soft voice spoke behind her.

Twilight turned around to find Rainbow Dash in a safari guide costume, Fluttershy, Rarity wearing a sunhat, Applejack wearing nothing, and Pinkie Pie. All of them stared at her.

"Guys, what am I doing here? I need to go home and work on my report!" Twilight said.

"No you don't," Applejack said. "Rainbow told us all 'bout your li'l problem. Ya'll need to relax."

Twilight stepped back. "But I--"

"No buts!" Pinkie said, grinning. "You're coming with us, you silly filly! Even if we have to drag you! Which we already did, so that won't be a problem!"

"Mares and gentlecolts, the Royal Sunset will be departing in one minute," a loudspeaker spewed out.

"Ugh!" Rainbow shouted. "We don't have time for this! AJ, you know what to do."

Before Twilight could react, she found herself being dragged by the tail backwards onto a metal staircase. Her chin bumped on every step.

"No!" she shouted. "I need to work on my report!"

"Too bad," Rainbow said.

Suddenly, Twilight's chin felt soft carpet. She looked around, finding herself in a nicely decorated beige room. She looked in front of her and saw a bright light.

The exit.

She planted her front hooves on the ground in an attempt to slow Applejack; unfortunately, that only made the farmer speed up. Twilight saw her escape fade away in front of her eyes.

She screamed.

---

Twilight peered over the yacht's stern's railing. Water. She stared off to the horizon and saw Manehattan's cityline.

If I jumped off right now, how long would it take me to swim there? Half an hour? Acceptable loss.

She looked down again and saw the crystal clear water. She felt something pull on her tail.

"Um...Twilight?"

The unicorn turned around and almost whacked Fluttershy in the face. "Oh, what now?"

"Well, see, uh, the girls told me to keep an eye on you and make sure you don't go crazy and jump off or anything..."

"Now, now," Twilight said. "Why in all of Equestria would I do that?"

"Rainbow said you were panicking about a report to Princess Celestia again, so she told me to keep you from worrying. She said you needed to unwind." Fluttershy measured up Twilight. "You do look kind of tense."

"What?" Twilight said, eye twitching. "No, no, no. I'm fine."

"You don't look it..."

"But I am! See?" Twilight gave her best smile. Fluttershy winced, leaning back.

"Just in case--"

"You can run off now. That's totally fine. Nothing bad will happen."

"Um...okay?" Fluttershy walked away from the rear of the yacht.

"Good. Now that she's gone, I can finally get off this crazy ship!"

"Twilight, I heard that."

Twilight turned around to find Fluttershy standing right next to her. The unicorn facehoofed, groaning.

"Mares and gentlecolts, the cafe is now open for breakfast," a loudspeaker blared.

"That sounds wonderful. Let's go, Twilight," Fluttershy said.

---

Twilight stared at the plate of grilled hay and hash browns in front of her. Oh, Celestia. How am I going to finish the report? Maybe this ship has a library! Maybe I'll ask the captain--

"Twi?" Applejack asked. "Somethin' the matter?"

"Hmm?"

"You haven't touched your food."

Before Twilight could say she wasn't hungry, her stomach growled. Noticing Applejack's stare, she picked up the plate, raised it above her head, and poured its contents down her mouth. She didn't even chew oh my goodness that was good. Twilight felt better inside, even if she was still worried out of her mind.

"All done. Can I go now?" she asked.

"Nope. I'm keepin' an eye on you 'til the rest of the girls finish their breakfast."

The two looked across the elegant marble cafe at a booth that held four mares. All of them were talking and eating their food at an extraordinarily slow rate. Twilight turned back to Applejack and groaned. The unicorn came up with an idea.

"You know," Twilight said. "I could press charges for foalnapping."

"Bet you wouldn't."

And there goes my bluff, Twilight thought. Her stomach rumbled again.

"You want seconds?"

---

"Isn't this simply divine, Twilight? Oh, I can feel myself just unwinding!" Rarity squealed.

The two were getting massages in a breathtaking spa. Everything was incredibly posh. Twilight moaned as her masseuse dug his hooves into her back. While her body was uncurling, her mind remained wound up on the report.

"Ooh...excuse me, sir, but--ohmygosh--does this yacht have a library or--mmm--study?" she asked.

"Twilight, really?" Rarity asked, raising an eyebrow. "You should be relaxing right now. No lady should ever be as stressed as you are right now."

Twilight tried her best to turn to her masseuse. "Does this yacht have a study or not?"

"I don't believe so," the masseuse said. "Wait, come to think of it, I think there is one..."

Twilight moaned in pleasure. The masseuse's hooves rolled around her withers just right.

Maybe she did need to relax.

No. That was a silly idea.

---

Twilight was still a bit sore all over. Thankfully, the light orange cushioning of the lawn chairs on the deck melded to her body. She could've sworn she was slowly falling asleep; the chairs were just so comfortable! She and Rainbow Dash lay on adjacent chairs with a view of the ocean in front of them. The pegasus flipped a page of the Daring Do book she brought with her.

"Pretty, ain't it?" Rainbow asked.

"What is?"

"The ocean."

"I...guess."

The two sat there in silence. Twilight turned around to leave her chair when she felt a hoof on her side.

"Uh-uh. You're not going anywhere," Rainbow said. "Chill."

"But--"

"Just sit and relax," Rainbow said. "We're not gonna be near land for a while. Might as well rest."

Silence.

"Hey, Rainbow," Twilight asked. "Which book is that?"

"'Griffin's Goblet.' Even at the beginning, it's really awesome."

"I don't think I've read that one yet."

"What!? It's only the most amazing book out of the series!"

"I don't remember. Hey, there's supposedly a library here. Maybe I can--"

"I can read just read to you, you know."

"...fine."

"Awesome!" Rainbow let out a tiny squeal.

Twilight moved her chair over to Rainbow's.

"Alright, Twi," Rainbow said, grinning. "'Chapter One. Daring Do peered over the balcony of the boat. She could hardly wait to get to Fillydelphia for the new museum opening. Being at sea completely bored Daring Do. Oh, if only flying were faster! She needed to get there, and now. She didn't wanna be stuck on that dumb boat any longer..."

"I'm right there with you, Daring," Twilight muttered under her breath, yawning.

---

"Twilight! Hey, Twilight! Twiliiiiight!"

Twilight's eyes snapped open to find that the mare was cuddling Rainbow Dash.

"Twilight! Why are you hugging Rainbow Dash right now? Didn't you hear the dancing competition being announced?" Pinkie Pie asked, looking at Twilight.

"What?"

"Oh, come on. Everypony knows you've been taking dance lessons since your birthday party at Canterlot! Come on!"

"Isn't it a bit rude to leave Rainbow asleep on a lawn chair?" Twilight asked, letting go of Rainbow.

"She'll be fine! I did that once, and she was only mad at me for a day!"

"What--?"

"Let's go, silly!" Pinkie said, dragging Twilight by the tail.

Twilight felt her body slide against the smooth floor of the yacht's deck. She was being dragged at inhuman speeds. Everything around her was a giant blur of color. After what felt like a minute, the dragging stopped.

Wait.

Why is it quiet?

Why is the floor glowing?--Celestia damn it, Pinkie.

"And here's contestant number forty-two! Everypony give Twilight Sparkle a warm welcome!" a white unicorn with shockingly blue hair shouted from a DJ booth.

All around Twilight, ponies were stomping their hooves. Dance music (rave?) was screaming out of nowhere in particular. All the unicorn heard was "Dance, dance, dance, dance, dance!"

So she did.

And it was fun.

Maybe Princess Celestia would give her a bit of leeway.

...maybe.

---

The sun was already setting on the horizon. Twilight and her friends gathered on the bow along with dozens of other ponies for a supposed magic show. The curtain on the stage in front of them was still rustling. The crowd was getting uneasy; waiting fifteen minutes wreaked havoc on their collective mood.

"Hurry up already!" a stallion shouted.

"No need to whine," a mare called from behind the curtain.

A blue mare jumped out.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie is here!"

At once, hundreds of hooves stamped on the boat.