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Twilight Sparkle was having a bad day.

The purple unicorn pushed a single lock of mane out of her face, thinking furiously.

Okay, Twilight – I’m certain that there’s a rational explanation for this. You just have to think. What. Went. Wrong?

She strapped the subject down to the steel examination table with her magic a little tighter, seeing that it was attempting to escape. It was definitely one of the… stranger creatures she’d ever seen. Lying on the examination table, she gauged that it was nearly six feet tall in length… er, height, if it managed to stand. It’s pea green eyes rolled about wildly, and it screamed some kind of alien language at her. If she didn’t know any better, she’d have said it was afraid, or something.

“It’s… it’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you…” Twilight said soothingly, doing her best to imitate Fluttershy. Say what you would about the mare; she might not have quite the knack for science as much as Twilight did, but she was better than anypony else at calming down animals. And this pale… thing was some kind of mammal, as well. Barely any fur on it at all, aside from a patch of wavy black mane atop it’s oddly shaped head. It didn’t seem to understand her, unfortunately. She made sure that the metal bands keeping the flailing beast in check hadn’t faltered, and made a couple more notes on the clipboard she kept on the workbench nearby.

After a while of shouting, it finally started to peter out… at least, until something in its voice shifted slightly. It caught her attention when it did so, almost imperceptible unless you were listening closely.
Which she was, of course; she had to be if she was going to write down everything it said for some form of reference. With luck, she might eventually decode its language and make some successful attempt to communicate peacefully. The thing’s voice changed mid-sentence, suddenly breaking into plain Equish.
“ - before I fuck you with a crowbar!”
“… If I could ask you to say that, one more time.” Twilight stated in mild shock, holding her clipboard tightly herself as if it could act as a shield.
“BETRAYAL! HE BETRAYED ME!”

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Hours earlier…

Noah Antwiler was having a bad day.

Noah dragged his feet wearily, reaching into his jeans for his keys. The couple of metal prongs jabbed coldly against his fingers as he fumbled for them in the dark, simultaneously reaching out for his front door.
Miles didn’t even leave the porch light on for me… fucker. He thought tiredly, pushing the door inwards after hearing the familiar click! of the lock. It was much colder than it usually was in Arizona, night time or not; from the feel of it, the temperature must have dropped about an extra twenty degrees or so. Noah latched the door behind him, groggily wiping his feet on the doormat as he latched the heavy door behind him and relocked the door.
His brother, Miles Antwiler, didn’t seem to be home.
Must be on duty… or summat… fuck, I dunno. He though blearily as he rubbed his eyes, dropping his keys on the table. Miles was occasionally called out at odd hours, being a police officer – which was unfortunate, because Noah was really looking forward to some kind of Welcome Back, Have Some Booze party when he finally got back from Finland. He dragged his feet toward the living room, struggling with the jet lag.

“Oreo! C’mon, ya’ lil’ fucker. Ain’t anybody gonna welcome me home?” he whistled for his small dog. Strangely, the jingle jangle of Oreo’s collar that he’d become so accustomed to didn’t ring about the house. A low sense of dread suddenly welled up within him. Noah felt about the room for the light switch, reassuring himself that the dog was probably just asleep or something. Hell, he wished he were asleep right now. Oreo was just… outside, or something.
Yeah, right. I’ll be damned if Miles let something happen to my dog…

“Here, let me get that for you.” a nasally voice filtered out through the dark as the light switch was thrown.
“Oh. Thanks, Doctor Insano.”
“You’re welcome.”
“AAAAAAGH!”

Noah leapt back, tripping over his own feet in surprise. He landed with a dull thunk against the carpeted floor as he skidded backwards in shock, reaching for some kind of weapon. His brother always kept a loaded gun in one of the kitchen drawers; something Noah didn’t necessarily like, but now could easily see the need for.
Snatching at the kitchen drawer gave him just enough time to snag the small revolver, but not before he felt himself being dragged quickly backwards by a pair of powerful, mechanical arms.
Several spotlights flickered on, centering dramatically on the man standing directly in the middle of his living room.
… No… way…!

The white lab coat stood out starkly against the living room décor, and Doctor Insano cackled madly as the pair of mechanical arms yanked Noah toward him. The metal bands linking the arms together wound downwards and onto the floor, tightly attached to a single metallic disc next to the madman. Of course it wasn’t really Doctor Insano… that was just – just – insane.
It seemed ludicrous, mind boggling. Impossible. However, the waving black hair with a lock of it falling lightly over the nearly hypnotic goggles, the way he stood, his voice…
My face… he has my face…!

“Long time, no see, jackass!” Doctor Insano slapped Noah heartily on the back with one hand, his other preoccupied with hoisting up a small pink rubber ball.
“… What. The fuck.” Noah breathed, desperately attempting to make sense of the situation. His feet were held an inch off the floor, and he dangled oddly. A rabid fan, maybe? One that broke into his house after getting plastic surgery to look just like him?
“Oh, come on, Spoony!” his identical twin laughed good-naturedly, a wicked grin spreading over his sharp features. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were a little surprised to see me!”
“What is this? ‘The fuck is goin’ on?!” Noah yelled, voice catching in his throat. The man was obviously deranged; however, he was much more deeply disturbed by the fact that his imitation of Doctor Insano was so accurate.

The black haired man in the lab coat deadpanned, pinching the bridge of his nose in agitation. “Oh, for crying out loud. Can you just put it together?”
“Help! Somebody, call the cops!”
“Christ, you’re full of crap,” Insano groaned, pulling a small remote control out of the pocket on his egg white lab coat. The steel arms holding Noah tightened their grip, crushing the air out of him. “I’m trying to enjoy my revenge here!”
“R-r-revenge?” Noah exhaled, struggling against the arms. “Dude, just – just – take my wallet, or something!” It felt like his mind was fighting against him, straining to make sense of everything. Robot arms, for god’s sake. It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real, he created Insano.

“Lookie here, Spoons.” Insano claimed as he plopped onto the couch to relax as if absolutely nothing were out of the ordinary. “You left me to die in a godforsaken plot hole. I’m just… returning the favor.” The man tilted the black remote at him mockingly, an all-knowing, superior smirk widening.
Noah balked at his mirror image.
Not. Real.
Noah knew it was impossible; that some character he’d thought up to bounce ideas and comments off of in his snarky reviews could be in front of him was just stupid. It was too clichéd. The small revolver hidden in his hands felt real enough, though. He began angling it ever so slightly, hoping that Insano still hadn’t seen it. Doctor Insano was a villain, through and through – there was nobody but Noah who knew him better. If he could just keep him talking long enough…

“Wait, wait!” Noah squirmed. He didn’t like the thought of this General Hospital reject managing to go through with his ‘revenge’. The robotic arms were nearly crushing him as it was – he really wasn’t looking forward to what else they could do. The lightly glowing disk on the floor, though… it was linked to them, and several glass lights on it flickered on and off repeatedly. Black lettering could be seen on one edge of the disk, and even though it was slightly covered, he could see that it spelled out Un-Interdimensional Matter Application Device. The little glittering sticker covering it had a large stamp of the word SCIENCE! in red lettering. The device had to be attached to something. Perhaps if he could damage that…

“What kind of revenge is complete without, um…” he thought frantically. “… You know… uh, villain speech?”
Insano stared at him, and began laughing maniacally. “Ha ah ha ah ha! What are you, stupid? You think I’m actually going to fall for that old trick – talk the bad guy into a monologue, so that you have plenty of time to make some daring escape? That’s got to be the stupidest thing you’ve tried yet, and I was there for Final Fantasy!” he giggled, petting the pink ball tucked under one arm with his remote hand. “I mean, seriously, Spoony. I expected a little more from SHIT!” He yelped, ducking as Noah fired, the bullet blasting out of the gun’s barrel with a deafening bang!

It ricocheted off of the metal painting frame behind him, bouncing toward the ceiling fan and hitting the television corner before springing off of the coffee table.
“… Okay, seriously, how long is that thing gonna go for?” Insano deadpanned, watching the bullet fly about the room repeatedly. It pinged back and forth off of walls, occasionally hitting the metal arms and coming dangerously close to hitting Noah several times.
Ping. Ping. Ping. Ping.
“If you thought you were going to actually get away with that, then you’re even more full of crap than I thought.” Insano bragged. He snapped his fingers at the robotic arms, before facepalming as he remembered that they were remote controlled. “Screw it – just kill him.”
“You’re out of your mind!” Noah yelled, ducking as the bullet whizzed overhead again. He could have sworn it brushed his scalp. “You’re not even real! YOU’RE FUCKIN’ EVIL!”
Doctor Insano shrugged, slightly bored expression settling onto his mildly unshaven features. “Meh. I may be evil, but at least I’m not full of crap.”

It was then that the bullet finally found a resting spot as it bounced for the seventh time off of the (still spinning) ceiling fan.
The metal disc holding up the robotic arms. For a moment, it was dead silent and absolutely nothing happened.
The last thing Noah saw before the world around him completely collapsed was a very surprised Doctor Insano and a flash of violet lightning.

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Author's Notes:

UMAD, Spoony?