The stallion lifted a shaking hoof, taking a clumsy, unsteady step back, then again, and then once more. Still he gaped, babbling incoherently as he struggled to speak.

"Mare Do Well!" he finally whispered.

Rainbow Dash frowned.

"Huh? Did you just say-"

She turned her head to glance behind her, and her jaw dropped as well.

Perched on the roof of the building above them was a figure cloaked in darkness, a black cape streaming behind it, its shape illuminated only by the light of the silver moon.

"Mare Do Well!" the stallion yelped again. "Mare Do Well's back!"

He turned and broke into a run, and although Rainbow Dash normally would’ve given chase right then and there, she remained frozen in place, utterly dumbfounded.

Mare Do Well leapt with surprising grace from the roof, landing in the alley directly beside Rainbow Dash - who continued to stare, jaw still hanging open in shock. The stallion's hoofsteps faded into the night, but the masked mare didn't even attempt to go after him; instead, she bent her head to gather the straps of Rainbow Dash's saddlebag in her mouth before offering it to the pegasus, who accepted it wordlessly.

"Um, thanks?" Rainbow Dash ventured after she'd affixed it onto her back once again.

“Hey, no problem! Oh my gosh, did you see the way that guy ran? I just jumped down and my cape went all whoosh! all dramatically and he was all oh my gosh it’s Mare Do Well ruuuun!  and I was all yeah, you’d better run, chump, nopony messes with my friends! Oh, wow, that was superiffic! I bet I looked super duper cool up there, didn’t I, huh huh huh?! I bet I looked like a real, actual superhero! Isn’t that awesome?” Mare Do Well babbled, hopping up and down in place excitedly.

Rainbow Dash blinked, somewhat stunned, before scowling.

"Okay, very funny. Who is it?" she asked before reaching for the mask that hid the other mare's face; but Mare Do Well hopped back, just barely escaping Rainbow Dash's reach.

“Aw, c’mon, Dashie, you’re supposed to play along!” Mare Do Well whined, the pout in her voice practically audible. “I’m the dramatic masked vigilante and you’re my love interest, and now you gotta let me rush in and save you all the time and stuff so that you’ll fall into my hooves, okay? It’s no fun if you know who I am right away! Don’t you know how romantic mysteries work?”

"Twilight? Is that you?" Rainbow Dash guessed, once more reaching for the mask; but Mare Do Well again backed away. "No, Twilight would've used magic to get the bag. Uh...Applejack? Oh, wait, it's probably Pinkie, isn't it? This is a prank."

“Aw, boo! Booooo! Stop guessing, you’re ruining it!”

-----

There was a light thud from somewhere behind her, and Rainbow Dash whipped around eagerly.

She'd been expecting to see a gang of chain wielding thugs when she turned to look, thugs that she could kick the flanks of before Faker Do Well showed up - just a little too late, most likely - leaving her and Miss Mysterious free to sit down and have a friendly chat about whatever Mare Do Well thought she was doing back in Ponyville.

Instead, Rainbow Dash turned around to see Mare Do Well herself.

"Oh. It's you, huh?" she asked, affecting an absentminded tone and indifferent posture. All ways of indicating that she could care less about whether Mare Do Well was there or not.

“Well, yeah, silly filly! Who else would I be but me? Unless I was somepony else, but then I wouldn’t be me, and then where would I be?” Mare Do Well giggled, then gasped, as if she’d just had a wonderful idea. “That’s like a little song almost! Me and be? They totally rhyme! Do you think I could write a song about that? Oh, wait, you’re being all scowly now and not saying anything. Oooh! Are we having a staring contest? I love contests! I bet I can beat you! THREE-TWO-ONE-GO!”

The two of them faced each other in silence.

It truly was like a game, even though Rainbow Dash hadn’t actually intended to play along; a contest to see which of them would give in first, either by looking away or breaking the silence. But in the end, it was Rainbow Dash who did so, jerking her head away so that she didn't have to look at the other mare anymore. She began to pace briskly from side to side in quick little trots as her multicolored tail swished back and forth.

When she finally glanced back up, Mare Do Well was still standing there, bouncing slightly on her hooves as though it were impossible for her to keep completely still for even a moment, bopping her head in time to a song that only she could hear.

-----

"Have you ever wanted to be somepony else?"

She sounded wistful.

Rainbow Dash turned to look at her.

"Huh?"

"Like a pirate or something? Because that would be really super fun. I’ve always wanted to be a pirate. Or a monkey. Either one.” Mare Do Well sighed. “I used to wanna be a hedgehog, but then I found out that when they hug each other, they get pricked by their quills! Wouldn’t that be the saddest thing ever, to never be able to hug anypony because you’d hurt them? That would be sooo sad. I love snuggling way too much to ever stop. I’m glad I’m not a hedgehog. But being a pirate would still be nice.”

Strangely enough, Rainbow Dash actually knew what she was talking about. Not that she'd ever tried actually taking on a new identity before; but she could remember feeling that way back in flight camp, during her days as Rainbow Crash. She'd never donned a real disguise, but she'd worn a mask of sorts. She'd hated being the filly that was victimized by the bullies and snobs that chose to taunt her, and had instead chosen to act the role of the cocky show-off instead - the filly that never let anything get to her. Because if she played the part long enough, then maybe it would start to sink in, and that's who she'd become.

"I guess...I can understand that. But if you wouldn't mind me unmasking you, then why don't you just come clean on your own? Right here, right now?" Rainbow asked, trying to ignore the way Mare Do Well was now spontaneously trying to snuggle her, giggling happily and nuzzling Dash’s neck.

"Because that’s no fun!” the mare answered, her voice somewhat muffled from the way her face was now buried in Rainbow’s coat.

Rainbow Dash sighed, rolling her eyes. “Mare Do Well, you are so random.”

-----

Somepony was speaking.

"I'm sorry," they were saying. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Rainbow Dash opened her eyes, slowly and reluctantly.

She was on her back, lying in the street. The road felt gritty, and her wings were stiff. She tried to fold them, to test them, but little crackles of pain kept her from moving them more than an inch or so.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," The voice continued to say. No, not say. Cry? "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

With a groan, Rainbow forced herself upright. Only now did she notice the way her wings hung limply at her sides, sloppily bandaged with strips of white cloth. Mare Do Well was huddled beside her, seemingly attempting to shrink into her costume with the way her cape was pooling around her.

She was the one crying.

"Dashie!" Mare Do Well sobbed when the pegasus sat up. “Dashie, I’m so, so, so, so, so, super ultra mega sorry!”

"Huh? Sorry for what?”

“I BROKE MY PINKIE PROMISE!” the mare wailed. “You made me Pinkie Promise that  I wouldn’t touch you but I did! I’M A BAD PONY!”

“Wait, what?!” Rainbow Dash cried in alarm, frantically trying to think back to what had just happened between them, before she’d passed out. What had Mare Do Well done?

“That meanie old stallion broke your wings and I had to carry you back here to fix you up, but then I remembered that I’d promised not to touch you, BUT I ALREADY HAD! I broke a Pinkie Promise that wasn’t just a normal boring promise, but super important promise between friends! Dashie, I’m so sorry! Now you won’t ever trust me ever again and you won’t wanna be my friend anymore!”

"Whoa!" Rainbow shouted. "We, we just...we totally beat the hay out of those guys! Can't we get arrested for that? And, and, my wings...what?!"

“DASHIE! That’s not important! Your wings get busted all the time! What matters is that I BROKE A PINKIE PROMISE!”

“Um…” Dash said slowly. “Are you sure that’s the important part here?”

“Don’t you get it? NOPONY BREAKS A PINKIE PROMISE!”

-----

The streets of Canterlot were surprisingly empty at night, but Rainbow Dash stuck to the shadowy corners and back alleys anyway. If anypony decided to look for her when they noticed she was gone, they'd likely ask around, and she didn't want anypony to be able to say they'd seen where she'd gone.

At last she stopped, by the café where she and Pinkie had almost kissed. No, not almost kissed. Rainbow Dash had wanted to, but she'd chickened out.

She needed to stop. Needed a place to think, a place to plan. What was going to happen?

Rainbow Dash was the biggest idiot who'd ever lived and the worst possible friend a pony could have, but she hadn't meant any harm. She'd been drunk. She hadn't been thinking. It wasn't her fault. And was it her imagination that she could hear the crunch of hoofsteps through snow in the distance somewhere? Or -

"RAINBOW DASH!”

"No," Rainbow Dash said automatically.

Not here. Not now. NOT. POSSIBLE.

"How are you here?!" She screamed, wild-eyed.

"Rainbow Dash, you suck!” Mare Do Well screamed in response, completely ignoring Dash’s question.

"N-no. Wait." Rainbow Dash stammered, struggling to rise back up on all fours before taking a step closer to the mare. "But how? Why?"

“What kind of pony just kisses a girl and ditches her?! Didn’t you say you’d never leave your friends hanging?! I, I mean Pinkie, really, really wanted to make out some more, and you just ran off! That’s not very nice! I’m telling you right now that you’d better get your scrawny butt back to that castle and finish what you started, missy!”

-----

It was time. She took one final deep breath.

Mare Do Well was perfectly still, as if preparing herself for what was coming. For whatever Rainbow did next.

And Rainbow Dash opened her eyes.

Under her...before her...there lay a pony clothed in shades of midnight, a cape fanned out beneath her. Atop her head there was perched a matching wide-brimmed hat.

But now, there was no mask to protect her face. No facade to hide behind.

There was only her.

Big blue eyes. A mouth, seemingly unsure about whether or not it was meant to smile. And a mane, bright and beautifully pink and curling as wildly as cotton candy.

Rainbow Dash's jaw dropped. Her eyes were wide, her voice disappearing somewhere on its way to her mouth. Utterly lost for words.

"No," was all Rainbow could think to say. “No. No. That doesn't make sense. That doesn't make sense," Her hooves had found their way to the mare's shoulders, gripping her as tightly as she could without even meaning to. The mare winced, and then gave Rainbow an enormous smile.

“SURPRISE!” Pinkie Pie shrieked. “OHMYGOSH THIS WAS THE BEST PRANK EVER! I totally fooled you, didn’t I? Hee-hee! TWIST ENDING!”

She sprung onto all fours and began to skip a little dance in circles around the bewildered Pegasus. “I’m the bestest-est actor ever, huh? You totally didn’t know it was me even though it was sooooo obvious and that’s what makes this omake so funny!”

“This what?” Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but ask, although she was still stunned from the amazing reveal. “Oh-mah-kay? What does that mean?”

“Oops, I shouldn’t have said that!” Pinkie giggled apologetically. Beaming, she threw her forelegs around Rainbow Dash’s neck. “But now it’s over and we can have our happy ending and spend all night kissy face smooching with each other!”

And with those words, she planted her lips directly over Rainbow Dash’s with a noisy smack.

“I love you, Dashie,” Pinkie said affectionately, eyes shining with affection.

Rainbow’s first instinct was to push Pinkie away and storm off so that she could figure out what to do next; but upon reflection, she decided that she was in the mood for making out some more. So instead of rejecting the pink pony, Dash slid her own forelegs around Pinkie’s neck, drawing her closer. And then they totally made out. Next Chapter: Alternate Ending: The Pinkie Pie Ending!? (Guest submission from Arby Works) Estimated time remaining: 3 Hours, 26 Minutes