Princess Celestia could only stare in shock, reading the last line of her contract over again. Star Swirl the Bearded? Synthetic australium? A rush of memories threatened to break loose like a flooded dam inside of her mind, but she quickly suppressed them, mindful of her present company.

"Helen," Celestia put her hoof back down on the table, sliding her copy of the contract back to Miss Pauling in a deliberately slow manner. "You have some nerve to ask me for this. After all these years, you still--"

"What?" The Administrator looked between the phone in her hand and Celestia. She then turned to Miss Pauling, who pointed to the ending paragraph of the contract with her finger. "Ah. Still carrying emotional baggage, I see. Hale, hold on a second."

She put her hand over the transmitter. "Celestia, don't tell me you're still bitter at Star Swirl. I know it was selfish of him to make you and your sister immortal without your consent, and then die before he could join you. But, really..."

"Immortality isn't a joke!" Celestia nearly screamed, but kept her voice to the level of a harsh whisper. "You might think there are a million reasons why you would want it, but the one reason why you don't is stronger than all of them!"

Helen gave her a questioning look from across the table. "I think you misunderstand me. What--" She cut herself off, as she could hear Hale asking something and continuing to talk without her. "Look, could your emotional outburst wait? I still have your old one night fling on the phone here. I don't know what you wrote to him, but its going to take some real smooth talking to convince him not to break dimensional walls to come and see you."

Celestia found herself blushing uncomfortably at Helen's words, and fumed silently into her cup of tea. Despite the sugar she had put into it earlier, it now tasted considerably more bitter then what she was used to. Across the table, Miss Pauling fidgeted uncomfortably, now finding herself stuck between the two scariest females in the known human universe.

"Um... Excuse me," Miss Pauling said, fidgeting some more in her seat. "This tea is made without tea bags, correct?"

Celestia continued to glare at Helen who was still on the phone and couldn't be bothered to care.

"Yes, it is Miss Pauling."

"Is it Williamson and Magor? Or maybe Fortnum and Mason?" Miss Pauling took a sip of her own tea to test her guess. She smiled apologetically, seeing a look of annoyance still on Celestia's face.

"I'm sorry, it reminds me of a tea from my world. I haven't had tea that wasn't made from tea bags in a very long time."

"You're right, actually." Celestia raised an eyebrow, a little amused. "It's Williamson and Magor black tea. I had it imported for our meeting, since it is very important that my guests enjoy themselves while in my care."

"It may not seem like much, but I want to say thank you." Miss Pauling spoke quietly into her cup. "For someone like me who works almost every day of the year, this is a very nice treat. I don't remember the last time I actually had a chance to brew tea from scratch."

"Well..." Celestia let out a sigh, feeling herself calming down a little bit. "You're welcome, then."

Around her, the birds in the garden continued to sing and go about their daily rituals, having stopped only momentarily due to her outburst. Above them she could make out tiny specks in the sky moving clouds about, more than likely members of the Canterlot weather team changing out dry clouds for wet ones to keep the temperature during the height of the day down. Even though the gardens were mostly surrounded by parts of the royal castle, she could still make out the echos of activity coming from the daily hustle and bustle of Canterlot. Even if her discussion wasn't going as smoothly as she had hoped, at least it seemed that everywhere else was--

"Your majesty, may I say something...personal?"

Celestia stopped listening to the world around her, and looked at Miss Pauling. Next to her, Helen continued to jabber back and forth with Hale over the phone, partially oblivious to their conversation. Having finished her cup of tea, Miss Pauling reached out to pour herself another cup as she spoke.

"Speaking personally, I feel that the right to rule is something you earn, your majesty. It is not something you are born with. In my world, a large part of violence in human history comes from people claiming to be born with the right to rule when they have no talent for it."

After pouring herself a second cup, she reached up and removed her glasses from her face and placed them on the table.

"I don't know what happened, but if this Star Swirl did what he did because he predicted your potential... Well, looking at where both of you and your sister are now, I would say that he was right."

"That this subject a very taboo one, Miss Pauling." Celestia warned sternly, instantly regretting how she imagined herself sounding. "Since we are not very personal friends, please do not speak to me so casually about it."

"Yes, I'm sorry your majesty," Miss Pauling apologized immediately. "But I feel the need to comment on just how beautiful Equestria is."

"Beautiful...you say?"

"Yes. Beautiful. Your citizens are beautiful. The land is beautiful. The weather is beautiful. I could go on for hours, probably."

She didn't want to admit it, but the diminutive and unassuming lackey to one of the sharpest minds she had ever known was beginning to perk her interest. All this time her attention had been focused on playing a strong hand toward Helen, but it was becoming clear that the company Helen kept close was there for a reason. But over a thousand years of participating in your own political court helped sharpen your mind to anticipate anything, and so Celestia decided to calmly play along.

"And what do you mean by beautiful?" She asked, straightforward and simply. "What do you know about the history of my country?"

"I only know what I've read. That a little over a thousand years ago, this world was separated into three tribes with constant hostilities to each other. I know that they preyed on each other, manipulated each other, fought each other and played the role of the victim from each others actions. All the while other creatures and monsters in this world would prey on them as well."

Miss Pauling took a minute to spoon some sugar into her own tea, and Celestia remained silent to allow her to continue.

"You and your sister performed nothing short of a miracle, by convincing the ponies of all three tribes to look toward something greater than the present. To look past immediate gains. You gave them the dream of the future. Or rather, you gave them a method to reach tomorrow from today. Not just for themselves, but for their friends, family, and foals as well."

Celestia remained silent, as did Miss Pauling.

Celestia broke the silence first. "What if I gave it to you? What do you plan on doing with it?"

"I can only speak from an assuming standpoint." Miss Pauling glanced at her boss, who had lit another cigarette and was sucking it down in between groans at whatever Hale was saying on his end of the phone. "But we would use it to continue to politically stabilize our world."

"I have a hard time believing that a radical mutagenic transformative element can be used to stabilize anything, Miss Pauling."

"People are different from ponies, your majesty. We don't have magic. We don't have monsters. After millions of years we have climbed to the top of the food chain, and all we have to fear and distrust are ourselves. Because of that, people have become too comfortable with the prospects of natural evils running around in the world. There needs to be a controlling force, to prevent humanity from cannibalizing itself."

"That sounds very much like an explanation to justify your own existence on top of your peers. Are you saying that Team Fortress Industries acts as the guardians of humanity's future by acting as its enablers in the present?"

"As I said your majesty, humans are violent by nature. I cannot speak for the nature of ponies, but I must ask that you believe me when I say that humans are not the same. You must understand how the death of Redmond and Blutarch was unexpected and very problematic for us. Through those two, Team Fortress Industries was capable of manipulating and controlling each half of our world. Through their endless fight against each other, we were able to give humanity a placebo of violence and destruction to pacify their desires. But because both brothers are dead at the hands of another brother with no interest in working with us, their conglomerates have collapsed and begun to run amok."

Miss Pauling stopped, both to let herself take a breath and to allow Celestia to process all of what she had said.

It wasn't as if she was lying, as far as she knew. Really, it wasn't. She had gambled that if her boss's dubious pragmatism and frankness weren't appealing, than perhaps a little small talk to smooth things over would be better.

The analogy the Administrator had used a year ago in regards to the Poopy Joe incident still ran true: unfed dogs had no reason to be loyal to their master. The rapid response of the American government in the form of a congressional inquiry into Mann Co.'s activities were proof enough that everyone was out for themselves. At the smell of weakness, the strongest government in the world that only existed from Mann Co.'s support had tried to bite the hand responsible for raising and nurturing it.

It was a stark lesson to be learned for Miss Pauling, who never doubted that her boss had seen it coming.

The one hundred pounds of australium that Helen's ancestor had stolen from Terra Australis had gone far, but not nearly far enough. And it wasn't as if Team Fortress Industries could just return some day and ask for more.

The recipe for synthetic australium from Equestria would work as a leverage of power against those who wished to strike out on their own out from under Team Fortress Industry's control. A new organization would have to be created, capable of reigning in the old assets of Builders League United and Reliable Excavation and Demolition under one group.

Princess Celestia's talking interrupted Miss Pauling thoughts.

"To me, it looks as if you want me to help you secure power for yourself. Do you really think I'll do such a thing?" she asked,  with a little bite behind her words. "Assuming I believed every word you've said, don't you think it's rather proper for a non-human to make a decision affecting so many innocent lives unrelated to her?"

"I would ask the same question, your majesty, when you choose to involve yourself with economic trade with other races in this world."

Celestia thought on her words for a moment, before responding. "How so? Do tell, Miss Pauling."

"Speaking frankly, your majesty." Miss Pauling felt a gentle breeze blow between them, enough to send a gentle chill through everyone present. "We all know who really controls this world. We've done our research before came here on your invitation."

Allowing the accusation to slip past, Celestia closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. "I'm not sure of what you mean. Could you explain?"

"What did founding of Equestria establish one thousand years ago?" Miss Pauling took a sip of her tea, and poured a little more for herself. "The turning of the roles of prey and predator in this world. As it stands now, life on this planet is dependent on Equestria for energy production, food production, and economic activity itself. The fact is, every other kingdom in this world is incapable of feeding their own subjects without trade from Equestria. Ponies on the other hand, would have no trouble supporting themselves if they were to sever ties with every non-pony race on this planet."

A long moment passed, and Miss Pauling looked around out into the royal gardens. The wind blew again, with the plants in the garden rustling around them.

"If the Diarchy of Equestria were to suddenly strengthen its ties with other pony inhabited regions in this world, and boycott everything else, you would be able to create a dominant economic sphere that could exclude any undesirables. That is to say, you would be able to create a greater Equestrian co-prosperity sphere of economic security that stretched the entire planet. If all of these nations entered your economic partnership and abandoned their other ties, the nations excluded would eventually wither away with their culture and history turning into nothingness."

Celestia was slightly taken aback, and looked back at Miss Pauling with wide eyes.

"Are you accusing me of being capable of such...such... Madness?"

"Madness?" Miss Pauling looked into her cup with a tinge of sadness. "Yes, I see what you mean. For any living creature to think that they could coordinate and organize something so massive by their own, it really would be madness."

Had she hit something sensitive with her word choice? No, probably not. Celestia had put on a mock air of authority, ironically, out of reaction from not being able to think of a calm answer to the unsubtle accusation of being a tyrant. She paused for a moment to collect her thoughts before deciding to probe deeper.

"Are you saying Miss Pauling, that it is Team Fortress Industry's intention to try and create something similar to my kingdom?"

"It is as I've said before, your majesty. Ponies are not violent in nature. Humans are another matter entirely. Humans are unpredictable. Violent. Chaotic. They need a structure to adhere to, or they risk going feral and destroying themselves."

Cold and impersonal. Her words were logical and orderly, but spoken in a way that made her seem uninvolved. Distanced. As if everything being said were about some world, far far away. Celestia almost wanted to point out, with some ferocity, that both Helen and Miss Pauling were just as human as the creatures they were describing as being monsters. And even if all humans were dangerous and destructive, what did it mean to hear that coming from humans who were self-proclaimed to be above their own nature?

"It is done. Celestia, are you listening?"

Celestia frowned visibly, but quickly tried to recompose herself from having her thoughts interrupted. Across from her Helen placed the receiver of the phone back on its base, hanging up on Hale as he was still speaking about something.

"Need I remind you that this meeting was arranged by you? We came on good faith that there was a business dealing to be had, where both of us could get what we wanted over a fair and equal trade."

Celestia scoffed loudly. "You've the nerve to call me giving you the means to conquer your world a fair trade? For a little extra security?"

"Extra? Don't sell me short, Celestia. The way I see things, we're both putting our faith in each other to secure our futures."

"..."

"You want them to live to see a ripe old age, correct? Or maybe you want to groom them to be your living weapons? Either way, it doesn't matter to me. What matters is that your Element holders are safe for you to do as you please with them. The same thing can be said for the synthetic australium recipe you are going to give me."

Helen took one last puff of her cigarette, before tossing it in with the others she had sucked the life out of.

"How about I give you a week to come up with an explanation for as to why a bunch of violent humans are going to become their new best friends? I'll be explaining to my mercenaries why becoming friends with a bunch of peace-loving ponies is in their best interest."

She gave Celestia a sweet smile.

"Please have your affairs in order. And who knows? Maybe I'll throw in a special treat to sweeten our deal."

♪~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~♪

"Hey, lard-fat. What's up?"

Heavy looked back over his own shoulder, spotting that Scout was looking over him and not-minding-his-business-away-from-him like he preferred. The biggest member of the RED team rolled his eyes, knowing that denying the puniest little baby on their team the attention he wanted would only make it worse. Although knocking him out with a punch to the face was also an option. A very tempting option.

"Heavy is shopping for beds." He lifted the magazine in his hands up for Scout to see. "Is long overdue. Yes?"

"Wait, are you still sleepin' with Sasha?" Scout scratched his head, before throwing Heavy a look of skepticism. "You know 'dat's not normal, right big guy?"

"Da'." Heavy agreed. "I should have bought bed for Natasha as well. Was rude of Heavy not to."  

"Huh? What about your other guns?"

"No. Huo-Long Heater sets cabin on fire, and Beast sleeps outside like dog. Tomislav is broken; Heavy must fix."

In hindsight, Scout really should have seen that coming. Rolling his eyes and blowing a raspberry, Scout got up and decided to run around elsewhere in Lumberyard to see what the rest of his team was up to. It was bound to be more interesting than watching mister fatty-fat-fat-fat look at beds for his compensation of all things. Between talking to his guns and lunch, Heavy was one of the weirder members of the team in his own morbidly obese way.

"Yo! Pyro!" Scout walked out from the building he was in. "Don't start any fires, you hear me?"

Caught in the act of trying to set some of the stacked logs on fire with his lighter, the Pyro jumped in surprised and hid it behind his back. "Mrrph? Hurr hurr, phrr phrrr hurdur," Pyro said, giving an innocent shrug.

"Yeah, well, just don't do it, man." Scout warned. "Don't waste your time startin' small fires, when you could be, like, burning way more stuff elsewhere."

Pyro rubbed his chin at Scout's sage advice and nodded. "Hmmrrmmm... Mmrph mhrr."

One of the signature traits of Lumberyard was the fact that the facility was located at the end of a lumber rail line, just before a before a massive cliff. As a result, the area was full of large cargo pallets filled with tree logs and other things meant for processing elsewhere. A lot of the industrial facilities and run down building that the RED and BLU teams had fought each other across looked like they had once been fully functional sites. But with the constant battle between both sides, most of the buildings and areas in between had become run down without maintenance.

"Ugh, man." Scout looked around at the beautiful pine forest surrounding him. "You know, nature sucks. What's a guy gotta' do to get a decent cup of joe around here."

He kept looking around, before spying a small trail of smoke coming from one of the highest towers in the central offices of the Lumberyard. Bingo, Scout thought to himself. There were only two people who would stay shut in on such a beautiful (but boring) afternoon, and both were a good source of entertainment for him.

So without another word, Scout began to parkour up the sides of anything he could find to climb up to the Sniper's lookout.

How many times had he watched Sniper leave from a team meeting and just go right up to his perch? He had always assumed that he would be in good enough shape to make the same trek Sniper made every time he had to relocate. (Being limber enough to run circles around your enemies tended to keep you in good shape.) But after climbing up on a pile of logs, scaling up a set of rusty gutters nailed deep into a building wall, running across a roof and double-jumping to the other side of the same building, even Scout was almost out of breath.

Taking a second to catch his breath, Scout peered around and looked into the window Sniper used to shoot at BLU back in the past. Before he could even a word, he found himself staring down the barrel of a submachine gun, with Sniper on the other end of it.

A couple of seconds passed where neither mercenary moved, with Sniper still pointing his gun at Scout, and Scout just looking back at him.

"...Hey man."

The Sniper scowled back down at him, still holding his submachine gun.

“What the bloody ‘ell do you think you’re doin’ here, Shirley?”

Scout cracked a grin. “I wanted to see where you go, man.”

Sniper raised an eyebrow, not convinced. Scout paused, still waiting to see if Sniper would put his gun away.  

"Soooo, you gonna' let me in? My arms are gettin’ kinda tired here. I didn't take the stairs, I'm sure you noticed.”

After another couple of seconds, Sniper lowered his gun and motioned for Scout to come inside. Not wanting to wait for another second teetering outside the highest point in Lumberyard, Scout squeezed himself through the broken frames of the window and into the Sniper's nest.

"Don't. Touch. Anything." Sniper warned in a tone that meant business. He walked over to his seat, and picked his cigarette up from where he had placed it. "...You want a beer?"

"What? Really?" Scout asked. Looking around, it dawned on him that he had never really seen where or what Sniper would do with the places where he hung around. The rest of the team agreed sometimes that some of the more nicer supplies raided from BLU camps would go to select members of the team. Since Sniper often volunteered to wait long hours watching for the enemy, more than once Scout had seen some crazy loot go his way. He watched Sniper go over to a corner in the room, and after prying up some wooden boards in the wall, drag out a small electric refrigerator plugged into a hidden socket in the wall.

"So, are you just here because you missed me sheila?" Sniper opened up the cooler and dug around, picking out a bottle of Red Shed beer. The brand specifically made for the RED team by Redmond Mann's company, to counter the Blu Streak beer brand made by Blutarch Mann for his own team.

"Yeah, somethin' like that." The Scout looked around one last time, catching the beer in one hand and finding a pile of hay to sit down on. "I was wonderin' if you knew what was goin' on?"

"Hmm, hmm, hmm. Monsieur Scout wants to be in on the reason for our little...soiree, yes?"

"Who the--" Scout looked around, knowing the answer to who the sudden mystery voice speaking was. "Oh, you gotta' be kidding me. Spy!" Scout stood up, looking around the empty loft. There was no with him, except for Sniper wasn't finding either of their antics to be very funny. "What the hell! You're here too!?"

In the far corner of the loft was a table with two seats and a chess board on it. Scout and Sniper both watched as the familiar sound of the Cloak and Dagger invisibility watch echoed into the loft. With his legs crossed, the Spy flashed the Scout a smile before waving and looked down at the chess board. Examining each piece, the Spy reached into his pocket for his Spytron 3000 Disguise Kit which doubled as his cigarette case.

"But of course. But you're just in luck, the Sniper and I were discussing our new job before you came in."

Listening to his words, Scout took a few seconds to stop and think. He took a sip of his beer, before throwing himself down on a hay pile with a groan.

"So...I guess that story about bus loads of hot chicks comin' to see me was a load of bullshit, huh?"

Sniper and Spy said nothing, exchanging looks at each other.