The name's Guy.

You know, I kinda liked it back on Earth. Sure, there wasn't any magic, and people couldn't find it in them to settle their differences, but there's something in Equestria that's worse than anything I could've imagined.

A bad author.

That's right, I'm fully aware I'm in a fic. I can hear the narration as it happens. I can sense when a character's acting out of... well, character. I can tell I'll become a horrible Marty Stu. And I know the plot's going to be one cliche after another.

So let's try and change that, shall we?

Hopefully the author's will breaks before mine...

[Character tags added as they appear.]