"Holy...fucking...shit..." Spark fell to his knees, his jaw agape as he looked at the remaining wreckage of what use to be his poorly built home.

"There's no fucking way a stupid thunderstorm could have done this shit. No way."

During the middle of the night, the two ponies had heard their already crumbling house start to finally fall apart under the thunderstorm. They got out in time and found shelter under a tree to stay the night at. Unfortunately for Blaze, the tree was only big enough to cover one of them, and Spark wasn't about to give up sleeping space. They came back in the morning to see the house completely demolished under the harsh forces of nature.

Blaze came up behind Spark and put a hoof on his shoulder, his eyes glued to the remains of the house as well.

"Well, I mean...it wasn't the best architectural masterpiece anyway." He said in an attempt to console Spark.

"Oh no, it was a piece of shit, but still..." Spark looked up at Blaze with large, sad eyes, "It was my piece of shit."

Blaze just continued to pat Spark on the shoulder until he eventually had enough of the sight and got to his feet, his gaze turning to Blaze.

"Well, what the fuck do we do now?" He asked, throwing his hooves in the air. "We just lost our goddamn home. Back to square fucking one." He looked down to the ground in sadness.

"I don't suppose you can con another guy to give us supplies to make another one?" Blaze asked.

"Not a chance. That guy was a special kind of utter retard." Spark said. "And I don't think Ponyville would have a Home Depot anywhere for us to actually buy the supplies."

Blaze put a hoof to his chin and thought for a bit, trying to find an easy solution to their problem. He knew what they had to do, but he also knew Spark wouldn't want any of it. He decided to ease into the idea slowly.

"Well...I guess we'll have to...buy a new one." He suggested gingerly.

"With what money?" Spark asked with a disdainful look. Blaze looked back at him with a raised eyebrow, as if to silently suggest something. Spark responded with confusion plastered across his face. The two continued to exchange different facial expressions until Spark finally understood what he was getting at.

"Oh, no." Spark started with a look of objection.

"Yeah..." Blaze said. "It looks like we'll have to-"

"I don't care how tempting I am, I'm in a relationship, and I am NOT becoming a prostitute!"

"What?"

"What?"

There was a short pause of silence.

"Forget I said anything. What were you saying?" Spark quickly said as a cover up.

"Uh, I was gonna say we need to get jobs." Blaze said a little awkwardly.

"Well shit, that's even worse than selling my body!" Spark said.

"Well, we're going to have to if...wait, why just you? Why wouldn't I be able to help?" Blaze asked.

"Easy," Spark said. "You're not smexy like I am. You would be left on the street side still sucking on a cigarette while I'd be off getting all the business."

"That's not true!" Blaze defended. "I would at least get something."

"Nah. You wouldn't get shit."

"I would too!"

"Maybe if the mare was Snowdrop."

"Was that a blind joke?"

"You bet your ass it was."

"You have such a big head."

"And that's what they'd all be saying about me." Spark said smugly.

Blaze had to snicker at that. "Alright, that was a good one. But seriously though, Spark, we'll have to get jobs if we ever want to even think about getting a new house."

"Ugh, fuck!" Spark said in protest, jerking his head into the air. "I don't want to work! It's hard!"

"Ah, c'mon. It won't be that bad. Working will give us character!" Blaze said.

"I don't need character. I need a fucking house."

"And we'll get that too!" Blaze said with a smile.

Spark just huffed in frustration.

Blaze wrapped his arm around Spark's neck, with his other hoof in the air.

"Just think about it: No one ever got anywhere in life without a little work. You think someone like Justin Bieber just got handed his mediocre success?"

"Yes." Spark said bluntly.

"Well...that may not be the best example, but you know what I mean. If we want to be successful in life, we have to work for it."

"Why do I feel like you're about to sing a song about good morals or some shit?" Spark asked with a raised eyebrow. "I don't want good morals, I just want a fucking house.

"I'm not gonna sing, I'm just saying that we'll have to work if we want to live anywhere other than an old tree." Blaze said.

"Well, you sound like a bitchy mother right now." Spark said.

Blaze sighed when he realized there was no use in making a speech to convince Spark. "Look, would you rather live under that tree forever, or-?"

"I JUST WANT A FUCKING HOUSE!!!" Spark yelled at Blaze, causing him to let go of his neck and jump back.

Blaze backed up as he could see visible steam coming from Spark's nostrils.

Blaze smirked. "Then it looks like we're going job hunting!"

"What kind of jackass in their right minds would hire two assholes like us?" Spark asked as they walked through Ponyville in search of any hiring establishment.

"I have no idea." Blaze said, looking around. "It doesn't even look like any place is hiring though."

"I hope to God there isn't" Spark said.

"I sure hope there is. I don't want to live under a tree for the rest of my life." Blaze said.

"You won't live under a tree for the rest of your life." Spark said. "I will. You'll just live next to that tree for the rest of your life."

Blaze could only sigh. "I wonder about you sometimes."

"I wonder about you too." Spark said. "Then I realize that you're just an idiotic piece of shit and I move on with my life."

"Well that's uplifting." Blaze said. They continued walking until Blaze finally spied what they came into town to find.

"Spark, look!" Blaze said excitedly, pointing to a window of a pawn shop. There was a poster that read, Now Hiring.

"Hoo-fucking-ray." Spark said unenthusiastically.

"Come on, let's go in!" Blaze said, and happily trotted into the old shop, slowly followed by a less upbeat Spark.

Blaze opened the door and was greeted with the *DING* of a bell.

"Good afternoon!" An old gray stallion smiled at them from behind a counter.

"Good afternoon!" Blaze smiled back.

"What can I do for you boys?" The stallion asked.

"Actually, it's more like what can we do for you?" Blaze said.

Good lord, please kill me now. Spark thought.

"Oh, are you two here for the job interviews?" The old earth pony asked.

"We sure are!" Blaze said with another large smile.

"Well well, you two seem like you would be nice workers." The stallion said. "If you're up for an interview now, I'd be happy to oblige."

"Sounds great!" Blaze said.

"Sounds shitty." Spark said under his breath.

"Great. Now, who wants to be interviewed first, mister, ah..."

"Blaze." Blaze said. "And this is my friend, Spark." Spark replied with a mocking salute.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Blaze and Spark. I'm Grayhoof. Which one of you wants to go first?"

"I think-"

"Actually, we'd prefer to be interviewed together." Spark said with a devious smile. Blaze looked at him with a stern look, as if to tell him not to screw up the situation. That only encouraged him further.

"Oh, really?" Grayhoof asked.

"No, he's-"

Spark put a hoof to Blaze's mouth to silence him. "Why yes, yes we would." Spark looked back at Blaze with another evil smile, while Blaze's face had objection written all over it.

"Well then, follow me to my office." Grayhoof started toward a back room, temporarily leaving Blaze and Spark alone.

"Spark, what are you trying to do?" Blaze demanded.

Spark shrugged. "I'm here to fuck shit up."

Blaze sighed. "Please don't. This is probably one of the only chances we'll get for a job."

"And if you play your cards right, you'll get a job."

Blaze started to object but stopped when he heard Grayhoof's voice in the other room.

"Boys? Are you coming?"

Blaze gave Spark another glare and made his way over to the office, Spark following close behind.

They walked passed all the old pawn shop merchandise and into the small office and Grayhoof closed the door. He walked over to a large wooden desk and sat down in a chair.

"Have a seat you two." He said, and they both sat on chairs facing Grayhoof, Blaze sitting straight up, while Spark slouched down nonchalantly.

"Alright, we'll start off with the basics." Grayhoof said, folding his hooves on the desk. "Tell me about yourselves. How are you around other ponies, what have you done before this, things like that."

"Well," Blaze spoke. "I was born in Fillydelphia, I'm an only child, I moved here about a week ago, I-"

"Not that personal, son." Grayhoof said. "Let's make it simpler. Just tell me how you are with other ponies and past job experiences."

"Oh, well, I'm pretty good with other ponies. I'm really friendly and I can make conversation with anypony. I haven't had a job before, but I do know what it takes to please the customer and be a successful businessman." Blaze said.

Grayhoof wrote down something on a piece of paper. "Sounds good so far. What about you, Mr. Spark?"

Spark looked up, still slouching down in his chair. "I fuck bitches. Lots of bitches. Sometimes I get paid for it, sometimes I don't. It's really a complicated line of work, you see." Spark sat up in his chair. "You never know if the girl has some kinda disease like herpes or some shit, and you never know if the girl is like a transvestite or some kinda weird shit like that. It's like a box of chocolates, you just take what you get and hope for the best. I like to think of it, not in a 'Hey, I'm having sex with random women for a living, what the fuck am I doing with my life?' kinda way, but more of a philosophical way. You see, fucking bitches for money isn't just a hobby, it's a way of life for many. Some people choose to do normal things, like boring ass politics, and I choose to do different things, such as fuck bitches and get money. It's a different point of view, I know, but what fun is life without a little variation, huh? I don't like to fall into the crowds of mainstream society, because being different is a way of expressing myself. So really, fucking bitches for money is a way for me to say, 'Hey, I don't care what you want me to do, I'm doing what I want to do, and you can't stop me!', which is really an important lesson to teach the youth of this generation. Being different is okay. In fact, it's better than okay, it's fucking brilliant! Fucking bitches and getting money needs to be encouraged throughout our society and brought into our culture. I could go on for hours, but before I go out on too much of a tangent here, I must conclude. I fuck bitches. I get money. That's what I do. And I have no reason to not be proud of it. It makes me who I am."

Spark sat back with a smug look while Blaze looked at him with his jaw agape in pure horror.

"Um...Okay then..." Grayhoof said in surprise, and started writing something down on the paper.

"Oh, I also fucking hate other people." Spark said as a final blow to his statement of philosophical prostitution. Blaze still could not believe what he was hearing. He knew it was over.

"Well..." Grayhoof cleared his throat. "I, ah, I can see potential in you both. Very much potential, but-"

PPPFFFTFFTPPPTTTPPPPFFFFPPPTTTFFFPPPPTTTPPFFTPPTFPTFFTPPPPFFFTTTTFTTTT!

There was a very long and drawn out pooting sound as Spark shifted around in his seat with an enormous smile, trying to suppress his chuckling.

"Did you-"

PPFFTPTPT!

There was a few seconds of silence.

"Was...was that a fart?" Grayhoof asked. Blaze looked at Spark frantically.

"Okay, I'll be honest with you, I did fart." Spark said with an insane smile.

"Is that alcohol? Alcohol and...alcohol and cupcakes." Grayhoof said, disgusted.

"Why yes my good sir, that would be what I most recently ingested." Spark said. Blaze was still sitting on the side watching the events in utter horror.

"I, uh...I don't think this job is for you boys..."

"Spark! What was that?!" Blaze demanded after they had walked out of Grayhoof's office and out of the pawn shop, where they stood to talk.

"Did you not hear it? It was a long ass fart." Spark said, still with a smile on his face.

Blaze sighed. "That was the worst thing you could have done! What made you think that was a good idea?" Blaze asked.

Spark shrugged. "Thought he'd get the reference."

" 'Step Brothers' doesn't exist in Equestria you idiot!" Blaze yelled.

"Well there's your problem. I guess you learn something new everyday, huh?" Spark said.

Blaze looked down and shook his head. "Darn it, Spark."

"Hey, I did you a fucking favor." Spark said sternly, poking Blaze's shoulder, and causing him to look up. "You would be just as suicidal doing that fucking job as I would."

Blaze started to object, until he realized just how right Spark was. He would've hated it.

"You know I'm fucking right. Haven't you ever seen 'Hardcore Pawn'? We'd be just like Seth and Ashley, constantly bickering over the most pointless shit, then the old guy would yell at us to grow up, then one of us would stand up to him, then there'd be a close up of his flabbergasted face. Basically that show in a nutshell by the way. Anyway, what I'm saying is that we would not enjoy living a bad overrated TV show in real life." Spark said matter-of-factly.

Blaze took a minute to process that all. "Well...I guess you're right."

"I'm always right, bitch." Spark said with a cocky smile.

Blaze sighed and shook his head with a smile on his face. "I don't think I'll ever understand you."

Spark put his hoof on Blaze's shoulder. "I don't even understand me. Honestly, I have no idea how I came up with the whole 'fucking bitches' speech."

Blaze snickered. "That was actually pretty funny. I never thought prostitution could be turned into something so in depth."

"Hey, nothing's impossible for your boy Spark." Spark said. He walked out into the street. "Well, I'd say we've done enough job shit. Let's get back to Ye Old Shit Hole and see if I can't try to put it back together for at least another night." He started walking down the street and Blaze trotted close behind him.

"So what if we can't get the house rebuilt?" Blaze asked as he caught up with Spark.

"I'm not gonna rebuild the whole fucking thing, just use the parts to make an even shittier house." Spark explained as they continued to walk.

"Well if that doesn't work, either we'll have to find a job we like, or work one that we don't" Blaze said.

"We'll cross that bridge when it comes." Spark said. "Right now we're gonna use my badass magical horn to build us a house."

Blaze chuckled. "I'm gonna go build a house." He imitated in a low, gruff voice.

"What the hell was that?" Spark stopped walking to look at Blaze.

"It was Jack Pattillo from Achievement Hunter." Blaze said. Spark replied with a blank stare. "Haven't you ever watched Achievement Hunter? Or any of their Minecraft Let's Plays?" He asked, genuinely surprised Spark didn't know what he was talking about.

"I have no fucking clue what the hell that shit is." Spark said. "But Minecraft is gay."

"What?! Minecraft is awesome!" Blaze defended.

"It's so fucking stupid. You place blocks. That's so fucking fun." Spark said. "And the graphics are awful. I don't know how anyone can stand playing a game like that."

Blaze started to argue, then stopped. "You're one of those people, aren't you?"

Spark smirked. "Damn right I am."

Blaze shook his head once more and continued to walk along the street with Spark following not far behind. It was complete silence other than the clip-clop of their hooves clicking against the pavement for a few moments, until Spark grabbed Blaze and pointed to the sky.

"Look, son! It's a faggot!" Spark said as he pointed up to a white pegasus kicking the remaining few storm clouds in the sky.

Spark let go of Blaze and yelled up to him. "HEY ASSHOLE!"

Kick. Fly. Repeat. Kick. Fly. Repeat.

Over the last hour, that became the pattern that was permanently burned into my brain. Clearing the sky by myself had to have been the single most boring thing I have ever done. I was relieved when there were only a few more clouds left to clear. I could finally get out of there and go do something worth my time. I flew over to one of the last clouds, reared up, and-

"HEY ASSHOLE!"

My heart rate skyrocketed and I jumped back in surprise. That caught me off guard. I looked down to see a brightly smiling Spark accompanied by an annoyed Blaze.

"What are you two doing?" I yelled down to them.

"Getting laid!" Spark said jokingly. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Doing my job! Maybe you two should get one?" I yelled back.

Spark chuckled. "We tried! Now get your ass down here!"

"Hold your horses!" I yelled.

"You should kill yourself for that joke! I'm not even kidding!" Spark yelled. I smiled and rushed over to the remaining clouds and quickly got rid of them. The sky was finally clear. Thank God!

I flew down to my two friends and landed next to Spark.

"So, what's up?" I asked as I folded my wings.

"Ah, not much. Woke up this morning to find my house in ruins, but other than that, not much at all." Spark said.

"Oh...uh...that sucks." Was all I had to say. It was probably because of the storm that I helped make. Whoopsies.

"Yeah." Blaze said. "We were trying to get a job to buy a new one, but they didn't want to hire us." He looked over at Spark. "Can't imagine why."

"I can't either." Spark said with all seriousness.

"Well, uh...if you guys need some money, I'd be happy to help you out." I said.

"No way! Are you shitting me? Can you really do that?" Spark asked.

"Sure." I said. "After I get paid today, I should have about 700 bits saved up. You guys can have it. I don't have anything to spend it on. Besides, I need to pay you guys back for helping me with Rainbow Dash."

"Aw, fuckin' sweet!" Spark pumped his hooves into the air. He looked over to Blaze. "Hear that, bitch? We don't have to work like normal people!"

Blaze chuckled. "I seriously doubt there's a house for only 700 bits."

"Don't underestimate me." Spark said. "I'm an expert haggler. I can get that shit down."

I smiled. "Well, I have to go get my pay first."

"Well what are you doing here talking to two shitheads? Go get paid motherfucker!" Spark shoved me along and I flew into the air and hovered a few feet above the ground.

"So, where do you want me to-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the motherfucking phone." Spark said. He walked over to me and pointed at my thigh to my newly created cutie mark. "What the fucking shit hell fucker is this?"

Blaze walked over to see what Spark was talking about, and his jaw dropped when he saw my cutie mark.

"It's a butt tattoo." I said.

"Is that seriously a legitimate cutie mark?" Blaze asked.

"It sure is." I said. "I did a sonic rainboom. Except without the rainbow part."

"Oh dude, that was you? I was wondering what that weird fucking thing in the sky was yesterday." Spark said. "Thought it was aliens or some shit."

I snickered. "Yeah, that was me." I looked down to my cutie mark and admired it along with them. "Isn't it awesome?"

"Dude, that is the most fucking badass cutie mark I've ever seen." Spark looked up to me. "There's something wrong with that sentence."

"I can't believe you got your cutie mark." Blaze said. "Nice going."

"Thanks" I said. "Now, where do you want me to meet you guys after I get the money?"

"Just go to where our house used to be." Blaze said.

"Alright." I said. "See you two in a bit."

"Later, faggot." Spark said. "Enjoy your butt tattoo."

"I will." I smiled, and flew away toward the weather building.

I can't believe I'm finally done with the sky. It felt like forever. I'm so never going to let Dash live this down.

I looked back at the two idiots that I called friends.

From what it sounds like, they had a better day than my boring day of work. Even if their house got destroyed. I wonder how they tried to get a job.

I chuckled at the thought.

Must have been interesting.

Author's Notes:

Yay, another chapter. Sorry it took so long. I feel like I've said this at least 3 times, but I went back and revised some stuff in earlier chapters so they're not as terrible. I also spent a lot of time on this chapter because I love writing Blaze and Spark, so I wanted it to be a longer chapter. But anyways, hope you're enjoying, and I can't wait to get to the even better parts of this story.