WARNING: ADULT/SLIGHTLY OFFENSIVE HUMOR AHEAD. IF YOU DON'T LIKE THAT THEN MEH.

The next couple of hours were filled with Rainbow Dash and I hanging out around town, not doing any one thing in specific, mostly just walking around and wasting time. But even doing nothing, we had fun together. Eventually though, we got bored and Dash wanted to head home.

"I'll be there in a bit, Dash. I'm going to go see how Blaze and Spark are." I said.

She sighed. "Alright. But please don't be long. I don't want to have to send a search party or something after you." Dash said jokingly.

I smiled. "No worries, I shouldn't be there longer than twenty minutes."

She looked at me skeptically.

"Well, more or less."

She smiled and gave me a quick hug. I waved to her as she took off into the golden evening sky toward the house.

I turned and started trotting toward Blaze and Spark's house.

I wonder how they're doing. Can't wait to hear from Blaze. And maybe Spark's date wasn't as predictable as I think it was.

I rounded the corner toward the pathetic looking wooden house that my two friends called home, and walked over to the door. Before I even got the chance to knock, the door swung open to a beaming Spark.

"Sup, my brotha?" He said a little too excitedly.

"Uh, hey Spark." I said, a little stunned at his energy.

"Well don't just stand there like a fucking idiot. Come on in, dude!" He said with a huge smile.

I walked in, and Spark went over to the kitchen. "You want anything to eat?" He asked.

"No thanks, I'm good." I said. I was still full from lunch with Dash.

Spark just shrugged and looked around for a snack

"So how'd it go with Pinkie?" I asked.

He suddenly stopped and turned to me with the brightest smile that I thought I'd never see.

"It was fucking incredible, dude!" He said, overjoyed. "I fucking dreamed of today for so long man, you have no fucking idea."

"Glad to hear. She seemed to really like you." I said, chuckling.

"Oh, hell yeah, dude." Spark said. "She even called me Sparky. That's some serious shit right there."

I just smiled and shook my head. I looked around and noticed Blaze wasn't here.

"Is Blaze not back yet?" I asked.

"Back from what?" Spark asked. I forgot he didn't know Blaze left for his date yet.

"He went to Fluttershy's after we left the theater." I said.

"Holy shit." Spark said, astonished. "He actually had the fucking guts to go alone? Damn, I'm proud of him."

"I just can't really imagine Blaze being able to be on a date by himself. He's too-"

"Awkward, idiotic, shy, anxious, quiet, boring, socially challenged, nervous, just all around a woman about everything." Spark finished my sentence for me.

"Uh, yeah. I hope he didn't screw up." I said.

"Eh, the way he made it sound, it was just him and Fluttershy meeting up, not an actual date." Spark said, going to a cabinet for a snack. He opened the wooden door and it fell off its hinges. "Goddammit." He said to himself, but continued to rummage through the cabinet for food.

"Yeah, but I think Blaze saw it as a date." I said after Spark was done cursing at the cabinet. "And apparently, according to Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy likes him, too."

"Well there ya fucking go." Spark said with a mouthful of cupcakes. "He's probably drowning in the pink by now." We started laughing at that joke, then Blaze burst through the door with a blank expression on his face.

"Sup, bitch." Spark said with his mouth still full. "How'd it go?"

"Uh, g-good, good." Blaze said kind of nervously.

"Well, don't keep us waiting, we need details, man." I said.

"I don't think you would want to know the details." Blaze said.

"Why the fuck not?" Spark asked, taking another bite of a cupcake.

"Well..."

"Yeah." I said. "Did you ask her out? Did she say yes? What happened?"

"I, uh..."

"It's a simple question, dipshit." Spark said.

"..."

"Just tell us, dude." I said.

"Yeah," Spark said with an entire cupcake shoved in his mouth. "Spit it out!"

"We had sex!" Blaze suddenly yelled.

Everything in Spark's mouth was spat across the floor. "WHAT THE FUCK???" He yelled.

"Jesus, Blaze." I said, unable to believe what I just heard. There is no way he's serious.

"YOU'VE GOTTA BE TITTY FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW!" Spark yelled.

Blaze just slowly shook his head.

"HOLY SHIT DUDE!"

"You're serious?" I asked.

He slowly nodded.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!!" Spark yelled once more.

"What-how did-why did-what?" I asked in unfinished questions.

"One thing led to another..." Blaze started.

"And what? Your penis just fucking tripped and fell in? 'Oh, hey there, Flutters. Whoops! I slipped! Oh, how'd that get in there?'" Spark mocked.

"Well, it wasn't exactly like that..." Blaze said.

I stood there in disbelief. "The getting pregnant thing was a joke, Blaze!"

"Oh, she's not pregnant." Blaze said, matter-of-factly.

"And how do you-?" I stopped and my eyes widened when I realized what he did.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? WHAT THE FUCK, BLAZE!" Spark yelled.

"What? It wasn't on her face..."

"OH MY FUCKING GOD, SHUTUP SHUTUP SHUT THE HELL UP!!!" Spark covered his ears.

"Wha?" Was all I could think to say at the moment.

Spark finally calmed down and shook his head. He looked over to me and sighed. "Well, I mean, we gotta give him props for pulling out in time-"

"What the hell, Spark?" I said.

He put his hooves in the air. "Hey, I'm just looking on the fucking bright side." He went over to Blaze and shook his hoof. "I respect you, sir."

I facehoofed. You've gotta be kidding me right now.

Blaze looked at us, unsure of what to say.

"Well, I mean, she still likes you right? After...that." Spark asked.

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure." Blaze said.

"Well then that's all that matters." Spark said. "You achieved your goal and even had some fun while doing so. Nice work my friend."

I sighed. "As much as I hate to agree with Spark, I guess he has a point." What am I saying?

"See? Now you're getting some motherfucking sense." Spark said. "Although, not sure how the mane five will react when they learn you fucked their best friend."

Blaze's eyes grew wide.

"Eh, but that's a problem for another time though." Spark smiled and patted Blaze on the back. Blaze just gulped nervously.

I smiled and shook my head. "Well, I'd say you did okay without help, Blaze."

"I guess I did." Blaze said, starting to get more confidence.

"You know, this is a time for celebration." Spark said. "Our little Blaze just lost his virginity. To a horse, too. This calls for an epic party of ludicrous fucking proportions."

Blaze chuckled slightly. "I think that's a little much."

"Nah, we still got homemade booze from the other day." Spark said. "We can party our fucking dicks off."

I smiled, then realized that it was starting to get late. "You guys go on ahead and have fun without me. I have to get back home."

"Fuckin' whipped!" Spark said as he levitated a couple of bottles with dark liquid over to us.

"What?" I asked.

"You're fucking pussy whipped, dude." Spark said. "Rainbow Dash has you on a leash."

"What? No she doesn't." I said.

"Then why're you going home so early?" Spark asked.

"Because Dash wanted me to..."

Spark raised an eyebrow at me. "Face it, dude. You and her have spent almost all your free time together."

"Because I want to." I said.

"Or because she wants to." Spark said smugly.

"She doesn't control me." I said, starting to get a little annoyed. "She just doesn't want me out too late. That's all."

"Then surely you can stay for a few drinks." Spark said, levitating a bottle in front of me. "Have some fun for once in your life."

"I'm not even old enough to drink." I said, trying to resist the offer.

"Well, I'm only seventeen and I haven't died yet." Spark said.

"Then how did you guys get into a bar?" I asked.

Spark shrugged. "Fuck if I know. They let us in and we didn't ask questions."

I eyed the bottle. I should really get back to Dash, but I don't want to prove Spark right.

I took the bottle in my hooves. One drink can't hurt.

10 MINUTES LATER

"Ohh, fuckck man!" Spark said while laughing uncontrollably. "He'sffuckin' doin' it!"

"CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG!" Blaze yelled.

I closed my eyes as I flooded my insides with more of the sweet liquid. I put the bottle down and came up for air.

"Whoaoah!" I said, dazed and off balance. I fell to the floor and we all started laughing hysterically.

"You'ree a fuckkin' aminal, bro." Spark said as he put his arm around me. I looked up at him lazily and let out a large belch.

Spark quickly backed up while Blaze clapped and yelled "I give thata eight outta ten!"

I slowly and unsteadily got to my feet.

"Dude, yuo're sooo drunk right now." Spark said as he took another swig of one of the bottles.

"I'm drunk?" I started. "You-" I stopped and vomited mid sentence. "-'re drunkerr than, I am!"

Blaze snickered drunkenly. "Duudee. You jus, like, puked."

I wiped off my mouth with my hoof. "Nah, it'ss fine, it'ss fine." I said. I went over to a chair and placed it over the vomit. "See? It'ss likeyou never sawit."

"Ohma god, dude." Spark said as he put his hoof on my shoulder. "You. You have ssuch good ideass, when you'ree drunk."

"I do!" I said, excited. "You undersstand!"

We all went into a fit of laughter.

1 HOUR LATER

"Summer has come and passed! The innocent can never last! Wake me up when September ends!" Blaze and I yelled as we swayed back and forth.

"COME ON DOWN TO SOUTH PARK AND MEET SOME FRIENDS OF MINE!!!" Spark interrupted us.

We both looked at him like he was a lunatic.

"You don't..."

"If you donno the wordss, jus, don't..."

"Don't sing."

"Yeahh, you don' sing iffyou don' know tha wordss."

"It wasssouth park guys." Spark said. "Don'tcha ever, watch south park?"

We continued to look at him strangely and started singing again.

ANOTHER HOUR LATER

"I-I never toldya this, man. But, I alwayssaw you as a brother." Spark said as he poked Blaze in the chest.

"Oh, god, man. That'sso deep, I, I can't even." Blaze drunkenly responded.

"Say you love him!" I whispered loudly to Blaze.

"I, I alwayssaw you as more of a uncle. A awesome uncle." Blaze said.

"Boo!" I yelled.

"Shut, thefuck up! We'reehavin' a moment over'ere!" Spark said. He turned to Blaze. "Come'ere, dude!"

"I love ya man!" Blaze said.

"I tolerate ya man!" Spark said.

They hugged each other tight while I sat idly by on the side and drank the rest of my bottle.

ONE MORE HOUR LATER

"FUCK! WE'RE OUTTA BOOZE!" Spark yelled as he threw a bottle across the room, shattering it on the wall.

"Noooooooooooooooo!!!" Blaze fell to his knees and started sobbing. "Why???"

I just looked around, confused. "Sso, party's over?" I asked.

"Party's fuckin' over!" Spark said.

"Awww." I said.

"Hey, it'sss okay. We had fun, right?" Spark said.

"Yeahh. Say, what time iss it?" I asked.

"It'ss like almost ten."

"Oh no! I wassupposed to be home, like, way before now!" I panicked.

"Hey, don'worry'bout it." Spark said. "You getton home to yer girl. Me and Blaze and me will clean up."

"Ohmygosh, thankss." I said.

"Don' menshun it. Now go. She's awaitin'." Spark said with a wink.

"Ohhohohoho! Ok!" I laughed. "See y'all later!"

"Byee!" Spark said, as Blaze was still kneeling on the ground crying.

I stumbled out the door into the night, hoping I could find my way back home.

So, so. I jus hafta go where I usually go. I thought to myself. I could get there faster if I flew! It sounded like such a good idea at the time.

I took off shakily and had no flight pattern as I zigzagged through the air.

I think it's this way. Maybe. Maybe that tree knows how to get there. Oh, hey there's a lake. But why is it coming toward me? Did I say something to it?

The next thing I knew, I was six feet under the lake's cold water. I swam back up and looked around.

Boy, this lake sure does like me. Man, I'm thirsty. I looked down at the lake as I floated. I'm swimmin' in water! Duh!

I put my jaw under the surface and ingested at least a gallon of water.

That was tasty.

I looked at the sky and I saw the house in the distance.

Okay, there it is. I swam to the shore and shook my head. I suddenly looked at my surroundings. What am I doing?

Wait, am I actually aware of what I'm doing right now? I looked at the lake. Maybe the water in Equestria has magical undrunkifying powers or something.

I looked back at the house in horror.

Dash is gonna kill me!

I raced over to the house as fast as I could and landed at the front step. I went to open the door and was surprised when the knob wouldn't turn.

Did she? She locked me out! I stopped trying to open the door and sighed in defeat. Clever girl.

I flew around the house, trying all the windows. All locked.

I've gotta get in somehow. I flew over to the bedroom window. No Rainbow Dash.

I flew to the living room window. No Rainbow Dash.

I flew to the entertainment room window. Still no Rainbow Dash. Where could she be?

I was about to give up when I remembered about the spare key under the welcome mat.

I flew back over to the front door and picked up the mat. There was no key to be found.

I laid down on the front steps and sighed. "Well, I guess I deserve this." I said aloud. I closed my eyes, ready to sleep.

"Yeah, you probably do." I heard a voice behind me.

I looked over my shoulder to see Dash hovering in front of the steps.

"But I wouldn't do that to you."

I smiled and got off the floor. "Look Dash, I'm so so so so so so sorry." I started. She landed in front of me to listen to my speech.

"I really didn't think that Spark and Blaze would keep me so long. Trust me, I wanted to leave, but they wouldn't let me go. Blaze just wouldn't stop talking about how it went with Fluttershy and I didn't want to just be rude and leave and-"

"Alright, Flash, that's good." Dash said.

"What?" I asked, a little confused.

She chuckled. "It's okay. I know how you guys can be. I knew you would be out for a little bit."

"So, you're not mad or anything?" I asked.

"Of course not." She said. "I only locked the door to mess with ya. I thought it'd be fun to watch, and it was." She laughed.

Very clever girl.

"Well then." I said. "Can we go inside now? I think I've had more than enough adventure for one day."

Dash walked over and unlocked the door. "Did you guys have a party or something?"

"Oh, yeah." I said. "You have no idea."

We walked in and I stretched and yawned loudly.

"Tired?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Very." I said. "I think I'm going to head to bed."

"Alright. I'll be in there in a few minutes."

I yawned. "Night."

"Night."

I walked into the bedroom and collapsed on the plush cloud bed. I was out cold before my head even hit the pillow.

Author's Notes:

Whoa, like 3 updates in a week. That's an academy record. Here's another chapter because I've really felt like writing lately and yeah. Hope you guys are enjoying it because I'm having a lot of fun writing this.
Bonus points if you know the song Blaze and White Flash were singing.