"Goddammit." Spark said as he walked back into the house. "Why do hangovers suck so fucking bad? Why!?"

Blaze put his hooves to his temples. "Why do you have to keep yelling?" He whined.

"God, just shut the fuck up you annoying sack of shit." Spark said and collapsed on the floor. "Fucking hell."

Blaze looked over at Spark from the table. "What happened to White Flash?" he asked.

"I...fuckin'...hate alcohol...so much." Spark said, ignoring Blaze's question.

Blaze slowly got up from his seat at the table and stumbled over to Spark.

"I hope you know that once we're over this you're gonna do it again the next day." Blaze said.

Spark looked up. "Not the next day, but I will definitely get drunk off my ass again very soon." He pushed himself up off the ground and shook his head. "I'm going to just go to bed and hopefully live out the rest of the day without puking my asshole out of my mouth." Spark walked over to the staircase and put his hoof on the guard rail. He closed his eyes as another painful wave of his headache washed over him. He recovered and slowly lumbered up the stairs and collapsed at the top. He crawled over to his bed and sprawled himself across the mattress. He heard the creaking of Blaze's bed across the room as he climbed in and fell asleep as well.

After ten minutes of nothing, Spark realized sleep was not going to happen. He groaned and got out of bed. The pounding in his head lessened, but it was definitely still present.

So fucking bored.

He walked over to Blaze, looking down at him as he slept peacefully, as if he were a majestic newborn calf.

"Get up, shithead we're going to do something!" Spark yelled as he used his magic to flip the mattress and Blaze fell to the ground with a painful thud.

"Why?" Blaze whined, not even bothering to look up at Spark.

"Because I am bored as fucking hell!" Spark said.

Blaze looked up at Spark. "I thought you didn't want to go out of the house because of your hangover."

"Well, I'm over it."

"Well, I'm not. You can go do something but I'm staying here."

"Oh, no you're not." Spark said.

"And what makes you think that?"

"Just do it, fuckface. It'll be fun."

Blaze slowly got to his feet and sighed. "Fine. What are we doing?"

"I don't know, but we're doing something." Spark thought for a few moments, then, a light bulb went off in his head. "C'mon, I have an idea."

"So where is it we're going?" Blaze asked as they aimlessly walked through Ponyville.

"We're on our way to Sugarcube Corner." Spark said.

"Because?"

"Because I fucking said so, bitch."

"Is it because you wanna see Pinkie Pie?"

"None of your fucking business."

"Kind of is, considering I'm going with you."

"Just shut up and follow me."

"Do you think Fluttershy would be there?" Blaze asked.

"Why do you care?" Spark asked.

"Ah, no reason." Blaze said with an awful attempt at a poker face. Spark noticed the gesture, but he decided to dismiss it just as Blaze being Blaze.

They continued walking when they rounded the corner to see the small bakery known as Sugarcube Corner. Seeing it brought a smile to Spark's face, even though he'd seen it a million times before. He continued to walk towards it, quickening his pace a bit, while Blaze lagged behind, trying to catch up.

They came up on the front doors, and Spark hastily opened them. He was instantly assaulted with the sweet aroma of fresh baked bread and cake. He sat there in a slight trance for a few moments until Blaze walked passed him into the bakery. Spark snapped out of it and followed him inside.

As they walked in, they were greeted by a familiar hyper-active pink pony.

"Hi!" Pinkie Pie greeted them, waving at them at an impossible speed.

"Oh. Hello." Fluttershy also greeted them shyly, flipping her hair over her eyes as she did so. It looked like she was talking to Pinkie until they walked in.

Yes. Spark thought. She's here.

Oh my gosh. Blaze thought. She's here!

"Hey there." Spark said. "You're Pinkie Pie right?" He asked, though obviously knowing the answer. He only said it to make sure it seemed like he was a normal pony that knew of her.

"And you're Fluttershy?" Blaze asked with the same intentions.

"Yep!" Pinkie smiled.

"Um...Yes." Fluttershy said. "How do you know our names?"

"Aw, come on. Anybody who's anybody knows who you two are." Spark flattered.

"Ooh! You hear that, Fluttershy? We're famous!" Pinkie exclaimed with a beaming smile of pure joy.

"Yeah. Well anyway, my friend, Blaze and I were just wanting to know if-"

"-We could get your autograph?" Blaze interrupted excitedly. The two mares looked at them, puzzled.

"Excuse me, ladies." Spark fake laughed and took Blaze away and out of earshot of the two ponies.

"Blaze, I didn't think I needed to tell you. Shut the fuck up and let me do the talking. You are going to make this fucking terrible, okay? So fuck off for a bit. I got this." Spark scolded Blaze calmly. Blaze found this a bit strange of his friend and wondered what was wrong with him. Spark turned back toward the two.

"Sorry about that." He said. "What I was trying to say is that you two seem like some friendly mares, and we're kind of new here so we were wondering if we could have a tour around this wonderful little town." Spark said.

He is so full of crap. Blaze thought.

"Well sure!" Pinkie said, and bounced over to the two stallions. She was in mid bounce when she suddenly stopped in the air, looking down to the two ponies. "Wait a second. I've seen you before!" Pinkie said pointing down to Blaze.

"Oh, uh yeah." Blaze said. "I'm just here for the company." He smiled awkwardly.

"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie said, going back to the ground and bouncing out the door, followed by Fluttershy.

Blaze and Spark were both too over enthusiastic about the situation and they suddenly looked at each other.

"You're favorite is-" Blaze started.

"Pinkie." Spark finished. "Yours is-"

"Fluttershy."

They brohoofed and followed the ponies through the town.

"Well this is Sugarcube Corner, this is the post office, this is the ground, and this is a light post!" Pinkie said in a flurry ending on her hanging on to a light post.

"Nice light post." Spark said.

"Yeah, it's my favorite one in Ponyville!" Pinkie said, and continued to bounce down the path, naming off everything they passed while Fluttershy followed close behind, too shy to socialize with Blaze or Spark.

Spark fell back toward Blaze.

"What, are you just gonna sit there like an asshole all day waiting for the most antisocial pony to come to you? I don't fuckin' think so. Get your ass up there and start a conversation!" Spark said.

"Sorry, I'm just kind of shy too." Blaze said.

"Shocker. Quit bitching about it and go talk to your favorite character from a TV show about magical technicolor ponies." Spark shoved Blaze into Fluttershy.

"Sorry!" They said simultaneously. They walked a bit without talking until Blaze looked back at Spark. He gave him a reassuring nod and Blaze turned back toward Fluttershy with a lump forming in his throat. He eventually got enough courage to finally speak.

"So, uh, Fluttershy." He said with less confidence than a cat near water.

"Y-yeah?" She said timidly.

"I'm Blaze. It's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too." She said quietly.

Blaze looked back at Spark as he face hoofed. He looked forward again and started another conversation.

"So...uh. W-what's your favorite color?" Blaze asked. His anxiety was starting to act up.

"I like green." She said.

"T-that's a nice color." Blaze said awkwardly.

"Are you okay? You seem a bit shaky."

"Oh, uh. I-I'm fine." Blaze lied. He was starting to sweat. This was getting nowhere.

"I'm, uh. Just a little nervous meeting you." Blaze said.

"Really? I didn't think I was that famous." Fluttershy blushed. "Anyway, it's alright. I get nervous a lot too. I'm really shy."

"I am too." Blaze said. "Really shy." They shared a brief smile and continued to talk.

Seems like they're hitting it off. Spark thought. He caught up to Pinkie as she was still explaining everything they passed.

"And this is the path to the lake, this is a tree, these are some houses, this is another tree, this is-"

"This is a pretty nice tour." Spark interrupted. "I feel like I could draw a map of this place now."

"Oh, we're not done yet!" Pinkie said, still bouncing. "We still have to see Twilights's house and the weather ponies building and the-"

"You seem to know this place pretty well." Spark said, attempting to throw her off topic.

"Sure do! I know it like the back of head. If I could see the back of my head!" Pinkie giggled, then proceeded to try to look at the back of her head. "Nope, not working." She said to herself, then continued down the path.

"So how long have you lived in Ponyville? I'm sure a pretty face like yours has been all over Equestria." Spark said.

She giggled. "Well I haven't been all over Equestria, but I have lived in Ponyville for a few years."

"Interesting." Spark said. They continued the tour until Pinkie had showed them all over town. By the end, Blaze and Fluttershy were talking easily and laughing together, and Spark and Pinkie were sharing laughs as well.

"And that's the end!" Pinkie said as they arrived back at Sugarcube Corner.

"Thanks for the tour, Pinkie." Spark said.

"Anytime!" She said merrily. "It was fun!"

"Yeah it was." Spark said. "It was nice talking to you. Would you want to go out for ice cream later?"

Pinkie giggled. "Sure! How about tomorrow?"

"Sounds good. See ya then." He said.

"See ya then, Spark!" She said, and bounced back into Sugarcube Corner followed by Fluttershy.

Spark walked over to Blaze.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I just got a date." Spark said.

"Same here. We said we'd meet up later and talk about-"

"Yeah, I don't really give a shit." Spark said, now back to his normal self.

"Hey, I just noticed." Blaze said. "My hangover is gone."

"Holy shit, mine too!" Spark said.

"So, what now?" Blaze asked.

"Well," Spark started, "there was a bar a few blocks back that Pinkie showed us."

"Oh, really? I wasn't paying attention." Blaze said.

"Of course you didn't, dumbass." Spark said. "That's why I'm here. To catch everything you miss. Now we know that every time we want to get drunk, I don't have to mix up all that complicated stuff. Anyway, we should totally get drunk."

"Are you kidding?" Blaze said. "We just for over an intense hangover that made us want to die, and you want to go drinking again?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Let's do it."

"An so...I says to tha fucker I says...'Ay! I don givva fuck 'bout your damn stupidass...capitalist laws! Imm'a put my dick in this'ere bowl of jello...and you can't fuckin' stop me!" Spark said after an hour of heavy drinking. Blaze howled maniacally at the story.

"Heh, what, whadid the cop do?" Blaze asked.

"Wellll, he wadn't really a cop, ya see. This ffucker was just, strollin' around Walmart, makin' sure assholes like me wasn't stickin' their dicks in bowls of strawberry jello!" Spark said. "But tha guy was, was all like 'Oh, look't me! I'm a bigg bad ol' douche bag! You gotta get outta thisstore! You're bein' a fuckin' disturbance!' And there I was, my pants 'round my ankles an my dick hangin' out, so I says to 'im, 'Fine, you, you, you ASSHOLE, I'll getoutta your damn store! But I'll be back!' And then I walked outtathe damn store, an I go home with my dick hangin' out the whole time!"

Blaze howled with laughter again.

"Dude, thasawesome!" He said, still chuckling.

"And, and yaknow what the bes' part is?" Spark whispered. Blaze leaned in closer. Spark leaned in and spoke in Blaze's ear.

"I madeit all up!"

"No! Get outta here!" Blaze said in pure disbelief.

"I ain't shitting you bro! I was talkin' outta myass the whole fuckin' time!"

Blaze clapped his hooves together. "You...REALLY had me there!" He said. "You, you know what you should do? You should, you should be a profffessissional story teller!" Spark's eyes widened in amazement.

"Oh my God, dude." Spark said. "You're so ffuckin' right!" They brohoofed and took another swig of their drinks.

"Hey, bartender guy!" Spark said to the unicorn tending the bar. "Get us sommore drinks!"

"Don't you think you two have had enough?" The gruff voice of the bartender said as he cleaned out a glass.

"Sscrew you dude!" Blaze said.

"Blaze, please." Spark stopped him. "Lis, listen pal. My friend an me jus want some drinks, okay?"

"You two have been constantly drinking here for an hour!"

"Is there a problem withat?" Blaze asked.

"Yes! There is! You two have drank half of my liquor! Now it's time for you to pay the bill." The bartender levitated a piece of paper in front of Spark and his eyes widened in surprise.

"Oh, sshhhhit." He said and looked to the bartender. "I'm sorry to say, but we, we don't have...money."

"Perhaps there'ssomething else you want?" Blaze asked, turning his butt toward the bartender and bending over. Spark quickly hit Blaze over the head and took him away from the bartender.

"Wha, what the fuck Blaze?" Spark asked him.

"Hey, I'm jus thinkin' of ways to help." Blaze said.

"You're, you're too drunk to help. He's not gonna take your ass to pay for tha liquor." Spark said. "Follow my lead." They walked back over to the bartender.

"Sorry, but we don't seem to have tha funds ta pay for thiss." Spark said, looking absentmindedly at the bill.

"Well, looks like you're not leaving until you pay it off then."

"Yeah, wellll Imm'a, Imm'a make you a deal, okay?" Spark said. "How 'bout you go fuck yourself, and we'll jus' head on out the door and let you enjoy the res' of your night, ok? Ok." They started walking out until the bartender slammed the door shut with his magic.

"You're not going anywhere." He said.

"A'right then." Spark said. "How 'bout we jus'..." He suddenly hurled himself out the window like a live canonball, sending shards of glass onto the street. Blaze followed suit, and they bolted away into the night as fast as they could from the bar. They didn't stop until they got to the entrance to the lake.

"Oh my fucking God, you see that shit, Blaze?" Spark said between breaths. "That was ffuckin' awesome!"

"We jus' left witthout paying!" Blaze was freaking out. "We gotta go back! It doesn't feel right! I'ma felon! I'ma terrible person! I can't live with myslefff, oh God!" Spark slapped him with his hoof.

"Shut the fffuck up, Blaze!" Spark yelled. "Quit bein' a pussy about it! That guy was an asshole!"

"But it'ss not right! We didn't pay!"

"It's not tha end of the fuckin' world! Calm the hell down!" Blaze stopped.

"Ya know, I wouldn't be in this, this mess if it wasn' for you!" Blaze yelled.

"Me?" Spark questioned, "You're tha fucker that decided to come withhme!"

"You forced me!" Yelled Blaze.

"Ah, bullshit."

"No, it's not!" Blaze stepped up to Spark. "You always do this! You force me to do stuff and I, I hate it! I knew you would get me in trouble one day, and, and now this! You're such a...you're such a..."

"A what?" Spark yelled. "Say it!"

"YOU'RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE!!!" Blaze screamed, followed by a moment of silence.

"You fuckin' know what?" Spark said after a few moments. "I don't give a FUCK about what you think about me, o-okay? I know how much of a motherfucking asshole I am, but I don't care!" His voice was starting to get shaky. "I'm a no good lousy motherfucking bitch faggot ass dick munching poor excuse of a living being...ASSHOLE!" Tears were starting to form in his eyes. "I was like that when I was human, and everyone hated me. Now I'm a pony and nothing changed."

They sat there for a few minutes until Blaze spoke up.

"I-I'm sorry..." He said.

"No, you're right. I'm an asshole." Spark said quietly, tears still in his eyes.

"Look, I'm, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I was jus', just mad. I blew up." Spark didn't look any better.

"You said everyone hated you?" Blaze said. "Well, it's not true. I'm glad I met you, really. And I don't hate you. You're my best friend."

Spark sniffed. "Thanks. I still feel like an ass though."

"Well, sometimes you are, but that'ss why I like you." Blaze said.

Spark smiled and then looked over Blaze's shoulder.

"Looks like lover boy's on another date." Spark said.

Blaze looked back to see White Flash flying away with Rainbow Dash.

"Let's hope he knows what he's doin' now." Spark said.

Blaze smiled. "Come on. We better get home before the bartender comes after us." They shared a laugh and Spark turned around toward the house, when Blaze noticed a giant shard of glass from the broken window sticking out of Spark's back.

"Hooolyyy oh my God, Spark!" Blaze yelled.

"Whaat?" Spark jumped.

"Jus', jus' stay still!" Blaze yelled.

"Wha, what is it?"

"There's glass in your back!"

"Holyyy Shhit!" Spark yelled. "I wondered what thhat searing pain was!"

"Hold, hold on, I gotcha." Blaze said. He carefully got a hold of the shard and pulled it out as cleanly as he could.

"HOOOOOOLY MOTHERFUCKIN' SHIT BALLS ON A FUCKING PLATTER OF BITCH MONKEY SOUPY SHIT ON A FUCKING WHORE OF A MOTHERFUCKING BITCH ASS DILDO FUCKING FUCKER FUCK!" Spark yelled as Blaze pulled the shard out.

Blaze held the large bloody shard in his hooves. "All better!" He said with a proud smile.

Spark wobbled over to him with blood seeping out of his wound. He put a hoof on Blaze's chest. "Fuck. You."

Blaze just chuckled. "Let's go home."

Author's Notes:

Hope you all had a happy Thanksgiving! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter and I hope you guys enjoyed it, assuming people are still reading this. I'm having a lot of fun writing this story, and I hope you guys are having fun reading it.