“No, Little Muffin, you may not keep Hrr’kticva as a pet,” Derpy said as she poked at a teakettle heating up on the stove.  Dinky sighed.

“Aw, c’mon, Mommy?  Pleeeease…?”

“Rule Number Forty-Three,” Sparkler said, glancing over a fashion magazine.  “Hm, Rarity’s new design looks pretty cool…”

“Y’mean the one about children’s card games?” Dinky asked.

“No, Muffin, the other Rule Forty-Three,” Derpy said kindly, reaching for a mug and nearly knocking it to the ground.  She quickly bent over to the side to catch it, somehow keeping her balance even as the mug’s handle landed around her right ear.

“No sentient lifeforms may be kept as pets, be they organic, siliconar, or spectrian,” Sparkler repeated blandly.  

“Remember what happened with Tim?” Derpy asked as the teakettle began to whistle.  She hooked her hoof underneath the handle of the kettle, moving it away from the stove. It let out a small whirring noise, glowing a slight green as she did so.

Sparkler snorted.  “I’d never known that superintelligent shades of blue could be so…destructive.”  She flipped a page in her magazine and gave the stove a blank look.  “Tell me why Dad decided to get a Sonic Stove, again?”

“Thermionic Heating Unit!” Dinky corrected happily.  The unicorn filly paused and frowned, her ears drooping.  “…So I guess Hervy has to go home, then?”

Derpy nodded gently, placing a teabag into each of the four mugs laid out on the counter.  “Yes he does, Muffin. Poor Hrr’kticva might have parents who are worrying about her at home.”

Dinky drooped even further.  “Oh…”

The front door slammed, and a familiar brown earth pony stumbled in, some parts of his coat covered in soot.  He paused for a moment to hang up his tie and vest on the wall, revealing his hourglass Cutie Mark, and tottered into the kitchen.

“Well,” he said after a second, grinning wildly.  “The Agg’vrak’ityha have some…interesting farewell rituals.”

“Daddy!” Dinky cried happily, and jumped up from her chair to give him a hug.  She collapsed in front of him, curling her hooves around his right foreleg.

“Good morning, Dinky!” the Doctor said, still beaming widely.  He swung her up in the air and onto his back.  “And just how are we doing this morning?”

Dinky thought for a second.  “Um…kinda sad, and kinda happy too.  I dunno…”

The Doctor let her down, patting her blond mane with a hoof.  “It’s alright, Dinky.  Hervy had to go back home to her family.  It’s what she had to do.”

He pulled her closer covertly, putting his hoof between them and the other two.  “And what your mother and sister made me do, the spoilsports.  Wouldn’t know fun if it hit them on the rear end!”

Dinky giggled.  “You’re funny, Daddy.”

“Well, possibly, but more likely horribly and terrifically ridiculous!” the Doctor happily exclaimed, rearing up and crashing his head into a low-hanging computer screen.  “Ow.”  Immediately, a large red light started blinking, with a siren wailing as the house’s lights started to flash.

Derpy pressed a button on the back of the toaster.  The warning light immediately shut off, and the room went silent.  “You’re not supposed to start causing apocalyptic subroutines before dinner!” she scolded him, eyes going more cross-eyed than usual as she put down one of the mugs in front of him on the table.  

“You mean before supper,” the Doctor corrected.

“You’ll call it dinner, or no banana muffins for a week!” Derpy warned.

“You wouldn’t!”

“Try me,” Derpy said with a wagging hoof.

The Doctor frowned.  “I wasn’t even paying attention when I hit it!”

“Makes it worse,” Sparkler said impassively.

Derpy nodded.  “Exactly.  Now, say you’re sorry for almost starting an apocalyptic subroutine.”

The Doctor groaned.  “Alright.  I’m sorry for almost starting an apocalyptic subroutine.”

He leaned over and whispered conspiratorially to Dinky again.  “Like I said, no fun whatsoever.”

“I heard that!”

The Doctor snorted.  “Fine, then.  So what’s the plan for today?”

“Since when do you make plans?” Sparkler asked with a snort.

“Well, just last week-“

“That was a clone, and you know it.  It doesn’t count, halfway-identical genome or not.” Sparkler retorted.

The Doctor frowned.  “Hrm…excellent point!  I’ll have to come up with something else, then.”

“Mommy, the muffins are burning,” Dinky pointed out.

Derpy’s eyes widened.  “What-?”

Sure enough, a group of carrot muffins laid out on the counter seemed to have spontaneously combusted, flickering a bright green within a collection of fluorescent flames.  The stone beneath their tray began to darken, presumably with some form of chemically unstable ash.  

“Oh no!  My babies!” Derpy screamed.  “Don’t worry, I’ll save you!”  Without hesitation, she twirled up and about, soaring toward the counter and snatching the muffins from their place.  “Hot-hot-hot-hot-hot-!”  

“Wait, Mom!” Sparkler shouted.  “Don’t fly out-“

Derpy, flying upside-down with her wings whirling madly, smashed through the window. The glass blew outward with a crash, but shattered harmlessly to the ground outside.  The other ponies flinched back, shielding their faces from the scene.

Derpy flew high into the sky. As she reached the apex of her ascent, she looked down at the muffin tin she was holding.  The fire had long since gone out.

“Huh,” Derpy said, tilting her head.  “All better now-“

The muffin tin exploded in a shockwave of brilliant viridian.  Derpy was thrown violently downward, wings reflexively fluttering to slow her descent.  The other three Whooves below took cover, watching as Derpy crashed into the floor.

After a moment, Dinky poked at her mom’s unmoving form on the floor of the kitchen.  “…Mommy?  Are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” Derpy said woozily.  “At least…I saved…the muffins…”

She held up the tin.  Indeed, there were still two muffins sitting there, mostly unharmed, if a bit singed.  The Doctor sighed.

“Forget the muffins- look at the roof,” Sparkler muttered, eyeing the large hole in the ceiling.  “That’s the fifth time this month.”

The Doctor sighed again.  “Well, at least nopony was hurt or injured.”

“Except the muffins,” Derpy put in sadly.

The Doctor nodded solemnly.  “Except the muffins.  I can help you with a second batch later, though.”

Derpy instantly perked up.  “Hooray!  And we can make carrot-pumpkin-banana muffins, right?”

“Of course!” the Doctor replied excitedly.  He paused.  “Though…we’re never making those apple strudels again.  Apples are rubbish; hate apples.  Not to mention those pear muffins...”

“Hey, I liked those!” Dinky said, crossing her hooves and giving her father a rasberry.

Sparkler sighed.  “So, any prediction for when today’s craziness will end?”

The Doctor paused in the middle of his pastry reverie, and smirked.  “Oh, no, my dear Sparkler.  Today’s craziness has hardly begun.”