A ring went off in the dark.

Another ring: louder and more insistent.

A third ring-

The poor alarm clock let out a pitiful creak as Sparkler Hooves slowly lifted her hoof from the offending machine.

Staring straight ahead at a wall, Sparkler casually backhanded a flying silver blur as she reached for her morning mug of coffee.  It sat there on her nightstand, taunting her with every second she wasn’t drinking it.  Sparkler licked her lips and slowly reached for the mug.  Somehow taking hold of the drink between her two front hooves, the purple unicorn took a long sip, eyes blinking blearily.

Ah, coffee…

Drink of gods.  So warm, so wonderful, so divine…

If Celestia hadn’t been a physical goddess who may or may not have taken offense to it, Sparkler might have begun a new religion centered on glorious, glorious coffee.  She let out a happy sigh and took another long sip.  

Idly, Sparkler’s leg kicked out at the screeching metallic object on her bed.  It went flying, crashing into the opposite wall, and leaving a satisfying imprint on the wallpaper.  Sparkler nodded to herself, closing her eyes as she felt the caffeine begin to spread throughout her system, working its sweet, sweet magic.

The purple unicorn slowly got out of bed, yawning and stretching.  Still holding her coffee cup, Sparkler crunched something beneath her foreleg as she padded to the circular window looking out of her room.  The golden rays of Celestia’s sun touched her face, and Sparkler smiled softly.  Birds chirped from the trees, and a warm breeze whispered through Sparkler’s mane.  She lifted her coffee mug to take one last sip-

-And a battered metallic creature leapt from below, knocking it out of her hooves and onto the floor.

The shattered ceramic and slowly spreading puddle might well have been a crime scene to Sparkler’s eyes.  Her mouth dropped, and tears began to leak from the corners of her eyes as she stared at it.

The unicorn’s eye twitched, and she turned to the offender- no, murderer.

The cybermat— a small, ratlike thing made of metal and other recycled matter— looked up at her, screeching innocently. It scooted forward along the carpeted floor, its steel head bumping against Sparkler’s hoof.

Sparkler ground her teeth.  “You…how dare you…” she growled, barely holding in her righteous fury.

“You monster,” Sparkler snarled.  “You can torture my friends, you can vaporize my house, but you do not!  Touch!  My!  COFFEE!”

The cybermat whimpered.

“You’re going to pay for that,” Sparkler said dangerously.  Suddenly, her hoof whipped around to a pouch on her bedside table, withdrawing a gleaming piece of metal.  Its huge body cast a dark shadow over the cowering cybermat.

The shining surface of the Kill-O-Zap Deluxe glinted in the morning sunlight.

“And by pay…” Sparkler said, eyes narrowing.

The switch flicked on, and the Kill-O-Zap hummed to life.

“-I mean DIE!”

“Whoo!  Vroom!  Fwoosh!”

Dinky happily tossed her Mare-Do-Well action figure into the air.  “Oh, no, Batcolt!” she cried.  “The evil Nightmare Moon is getting away!

Grr! growled the Nightmare Moon toy (fashioned from a dark blue pillow and some string).  I’ll get you, my little ponies!  And then your candy will be mine!  All mine!  Muhahahaha!

Suddenly, a huge explosion rocked the house.  Debris rained down from the ceiling, kicking up dust on the floor.  Dinky looked up curiously.  “Huh?  I wonder what that was.”

It was the Super-Magriffic Anti-Equestria Doomsday Device! Batcolt shouted, leaping from the heights of Mount Couch-And-Sofa. What has Nightmare Moon done?

“Get back here, you disgusting piece of Cyber-trash!!”

“Ooh,” Dinky said, blinking.  “Sparkler got up early!”

Weird, Batcolt said.

Quite, said Nightmare Moon.

The sound of crashing glass filled the first floor, and tongues of fire began to lick at the stairwell.

“YOU WON’T GET OFF THAT EASILY!”

“At least she sounds happy!” Dinky said with a smile.  “She’s always so grumpy in the morning.”

“Wait, when did you get the gun—OH CELESTIA WHY.”

Parts of the kitchen started to shake.  An alarm began to echo throughout the house, and a stray blaster shot from the second floor caused the stove to spontaneously go up in flames.

“Hm...” Dinky murmured.  She frowned, crossing her eyes slightly.  “I wish she’d be more quiet.  Some ponies are trying to play down here!”

I do agree, Mare-Do-Well said.  She is being quite rude indeed.

“Hmph!”

“AHA!  I’ve got you now, you waste of scrap metal!”

A piercing shriek and an incoherent scream rang through the halls.  More crashing and explosions ensued.  

Dinky screwed up her face in concentration. “I guess this means the insho—insoar—insurance is gonna go up again.  Whatever that means.”

Like with that time with Mommy and the Pumpkin-People? Batcolt asked.  Dinky nodded.

“—Ack!  The rest of the coffee!  You conniving FIEND!”

Dinky proceeded to lift Mare-Do-Well up above the table and let her go. The action figure parachuted to the ground with the napkin tied to its back.  “Grown-ups are weird.”

You said it! Nightmare Moon agreed.