Chirping. Why was there so much god damned chirping? Praetoria didn't even have birds for the most part. Praetoria didn't really even have that much Praetoria either. The Hamidon had seen to that.

Charcarodon listened as the systems in his power armor began to reboot. He opened his eyes and winced as the harsh sunlight burned his retinas before the lenses of his helmet automatically polarized to compensate. Looking around he saw he was laying on his back in the middle of a forest. But that couldn't be right because Praetoria didn't have any forests. He double checked and, sure enough, it was definitely a forest.

"Guess that means those cultists sent me to the wrong place then." he grumbled.

Charcarodon tried to stand, but to his dismay he felt incredibly weak. He barely managed to push himself into a sitting position, but even the effort of that made his head spin. He popped a Second Wind and managed to get the forest to stop spinning and was finally able to muster the strength to stand, but not much more. The feeling of weakness was not something he enjoyed, the very ground was supposed to split under the weight of his stride, mountains were supposed to crack from the might of his fist. Now it was all he could do to keep himself upright and he was sure that was largely due to his armor compensating for him.

He took a few unsteady steps forward, glancing only idly at the beautiful blue flowers he inelegantly crushed with his uneasy gait. Finally he fell into a steady stride which still used up far too much energy for his liking. After a few exhausting minutes of walking through the forest he came across what seemed like a dirt path. Thankful for easier terrain to travel on, be set off down the path.

He picked up the occasional howl in the distance and began to grow wary, in his current state any kind of fight might go badly. It was only when he heard what sounded like the roar of a lion that anxiety began to set it. He had wanted to conserve energy, but it seemed that activating Fire Shield would be a good idea. And maybe Plasma Shield as well. And probably Blazing Aura, just in case.

Taking a moment to gather his strength, he concentrated on the spells and began to summon the protective flames. He internally reeled in shock as a thick shell of ice encased him before he could summon his fire spells. He had been attacked by something! He tried to break free from the ice encasing him, but his strength still flagged. He began to panic, worrying that whatever attacked him would be upon him soon. And apparently now his weakness extended to the casting of fire magic as well. So he did the only thing that seemed sensible at the time.

"Ion Core Final Judgment!" he shouted into his helmet.

As soon as the last syllable faded a bolt of crimson lightning shot down from the sky and impacted him. He could hear the ice encasing him begin to crack. Another bolt struck him, then another and another. The lightning storm reached a fever pitch and he could hear the ice crack further and further. Suddenly the lightning stopped, signifying the end of the power.

He suddenly realized he hadn't thought his plan through very well. Unable to move his arms he couldn't bring his hands together to generate the devastating beam and release the power. He felt the energy of the Judgment churning within him looking for an escape. Soon he was unable to contain the power any longer and the power erupted from him, lighting up the forest with the explosion and sending him flying.

He staggered to his feat, his already low energy drained further by the aborted Judgment. Taking a moment to clear his head, he tried to cast Healing Flames to see if that might restore any of his stamina. He sighed as he felt the soothing flames begin to restore his vitality, but unfortunately not his strength. He opened his eyes and froze in shock, primarily because he couldn't freeze any further physically. The spell had worked its magic, but he had become encased in ice once again.

He spat out as many swears he could think of and when his repertoire of profanity was exhausted he began to combine them in as many creative ways as he could. This continued on for several minutes and would have likely continued on for many more, except he noticed something coming down the path.

Slowly the figure came into view and he was able to make out that it seemed to be... hopping. As the figure approached further he became incredibly worried because it was just then that he realized that he had to be hallucinating. There was no other explanation for why a small pink pony was hopping merrily past him down the path.

"Off to see Zecora! Off to see Zecora! Off to see..."

The pony slowed down, bounced in place for a second, then began bouncing backwards towards him. The pony reached him, bounced in place for a few seconds, then stopped altogether, looking thoughtfully at him. Suddenly an eerily large grin appeared on its face.

"Hi there!" it chirped, far too happily for his tastes.

He just stared at it, willing the hallucination to end.

"I'm Pinkie Pie! What's your name?" it persisted.

Why a pink pony of all things? Weren't hallucinations supposed to be meaningful or something?

"I've never seen anything like you before!" it remarked. "What are you?"

"Insane, apparently." he said, dryly.

He soon realized this was a mistake.

"Yay, you talk!" the pony, Pinkie Pie evidently, exclaimed. "Now we can talk about all sorts of stuff! Do you like parties? Because I love parties and since I've never seen you before that means you're new around here and if you're new that means I have to throw you a party!"

He desired nothing more than to have his super strength back right now. All he needed was one second, just one measly second to throttle this infernal thing, figment of his imagination or not.

"Please go away. I'm not in the mood for chatting with hallucinations right now." he said. Couldn't hurt to try asking nicely.

"Hallucination?" Pinkie Pie asked. She poked herself. "I sure don't feel like a hallucination."

"Well you are, so go away."

Pinkie Pie hummed thoughtfully, then bounced up to him and bumped him with her flank, causing him to topple over.

"Okay," he growled from the ground. "Not a hallucination."

The pony giggled, the sound instilled a mad desire in Charcarodon to destroy everything within sight.

"So why are you stuck in a block of ice?" the pony inquired.

"I'd actually like to know the answer to that myself," he grumbled.

"Well I bet my friend Zecora can help you! She probably has some kinda remedy for being spontaneously frozen in a hunk of ice. Come on, I'll bring you!"

"Assuming I would even agree to this in the first place, how do you suggest we get there? I can't move."

"Simple!" she replied. Now holding a rope he was positive she hadn't had before, the pink pony fashioned a lasso and looped it around his arm, pulling it tight.

"And you're just going to pull me there? By yourself?" he asked.

"That's the idea!" she said.

He was about to say something mocking when she grabbed her end of the rope in her mouth and began hopping off down the road, dragging him haplessly behind her as if he weighed little more than a traveling pack.

"Well at least I know where my super strength went," he murmured to himself.

After about half an hour of being indignantly dragged along through the forest by the pink pony, Charcarodon noticed they had finally arrived at some kind of hut.

"We're here!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"I would never have guessed." Charcarodon deadpanned.

"Zecora!" Pinkie called, happily. "I'm here! And I brought someone new too!"

A zebra emerged from the hut, a smile on her face as she greeted her friend.

"Pinkie Pie, so good to see you again. Who, or should I say what, is your new friend?" Zecora asked.

"I dunno," Pinkie shrugged. "I just ran into him on my way here, standing in the middle of the forest frozen in ice. I think he might be sick or something, too. Anything you can do for him?"

Zecora looked him over. "Bring him inside, I shall tend to him there. He looks like he could be dangerous though, so take care."

"Very dangerous," he growled, weakly.

Zecora smiled at him. "Perhaps that is true, but while stuck in that ice, you cannot do much, why not try being nice?"

"I don't really do nice." he replied. Zecora rolled her eyes at the comment.

Pinkie Pie dragged him inside and pulled him over by a fire Zecora had going. She and Zecora sat down and started up a conversation to pass the time until he thawed.

"Aside from the ice, what ails you so? I can help you better the more I know." the zebra asked.

Charcarodon grumbled something the two couldn't here.

"What's that?" Pinkie asked.

He mumbled again.

"You gotta speak up, Zecora can't help you if you don't tell her, ya know." Pinkie insisted.

"I'm weak," he finally grumbled.

"Whaddya mean?" Pinkie asked.

"I'm weak. I should have been able to break out of this ice easily. I should be able to punch a mountain into rubble, but I can barely even stand. And when I tried to summon my fire spells I became frozen in ice. I have no idea what's going on."

Zecora tapped a hoof against her chin thoughtfully. "So your spells of flame now conjure ice, and your once great strength now rivals mice. The affliction you suffer, I believe I know. Tell me, have you tread where blue flowers grow?"

"Blue flowers?" he asked. "I... think so. Yeah, when I woke up I was laying in a patch of blue flowers. Why? What's that mean?"

By now his helmet had thawed out and Pinkie reached over and, much to his chagrin, pulled it off. He scowled at her and she winced, though more from the blue spots covering his face than from his expression.

"Hoo boy," she sighed. "Yep, that's Poison Joke if I've ever seen it."

"Poison Joke? What the hell is that?" Charcarodon asked.

Zecora chuckled. "It's a plant, you see, with quite a whit. It takes your most defining trait and reverses it."

"What the hell does that mean?" he growled.

"Your powers, silly!" Pinkie explained. "You're clearly a super hero, so obviously it'd switch your powers around!"

His face darkened. "I'm not a hero."

"Of course you are!" she insisted. "You've got super powers and a costume and everything!"

Finally free of the ice, he reached his arms up in a weak attempt to throttle her. However Pinkie completely misinterpreted his pathetic attempt.

"Aww, look! He wants a hug!" Pinkie jumped onto him and latched her arms around his neck in a vice-like grip.

"Get off me!" he shouted. "And I never denied being a super, I'm just not a super hero."

He could swear the pink pony's mane seemed to lose some of its fluffiness at his words. "You mean... you're a v-"

"No!" he shouted, even angrier. "I'm not a villain! I'm just... not a hero. I haven't been for a while."

Pinkie smiled a little and her mane seemed to regain some of its earlier appearance. "I think you just need a friend." she said.

He grunted and snatched his helmet back from her, but didn't put it on right away, opting instead to idly twirl it in his hands. After a while he stopped and looked into its eye lenses, looking over all the many scratches that marred it.

"Hero or villain is neither here nor there, for someone unwell I will not refuse care." Zecora said. She walked over to one of the shelves that lined her walls and took down of the many bottles that lined it. She walked back over to Charcarodon and offered him the bottle.

"In this bottle is the cure you seek. The ice shall be gone and you'll no longer be weak."

He sat up and took the bottle from her, looking it over once it was in his hand. He popped the cork out of the top and upended the bottle, gulping down the contents. Pinkie's eyes widened and she flailed about in panic. "No don't drink it!" she yelled.

By the time he'd heard what she said he'd finished the whole bottle.

"What? Why not?" he asked.

"That's supposed to go into a bath." she said, looking at him, exasperated.

He looked at the bottle in his hands, then back at the ponies.

"So was that bad?"

Zecora winced. "It's not really bad, but good? Not quite. You'll still be cured, but this is a sensation you won't like."

Charcarodon just shrugged at her words. "Can't be any worse than some of the other stuff I've been through."

Zecora shook her head.

"So you never did tell us why you're here." Pinkie pointed out.

"An accident." he said. "My companions and I were going somewhere else, but there was a problem with our portal spell and it looks like we, or at least I, got sent here instead."

Pinkie turned to Zecora. "Any idea how on how to get him back to his home?" she asked.

Zecora shook her head. "My strength lies in potions, I've no magical might. Why not go into town and ask your friend Twilight?" she suggested.

"Oh that's a great idea!" she exclaimed. "And after Twilight helps you I can throw you a big Welcome To Ponyville party and introduce you to everypony!"

"Sure, whatever. As long as your friend knows how to get me back to the Rogue Isles." he said, replacing his helmet and getting to his feet. "Let's get going, but I don't want anyone seeing me till we've met your friend. Then you can introduce me to whoever you want." Of course I'll be gone by then, he thought.

"That's a great idea! That way it can be a surprise party, except for everypony else! It'll be like a reverse surprise party, that's such a good idea!" she exclaimed, happily hopping towards the door. "Bye Zecora, thanks for all the help."

Charcarodon turned to thank her as well. "Right, yeah, thanks for the-" he was cut off by a loud gurgling from his stomach. "Oh jeez." he said, crossing his arms over his stomach. "Yeah, this is gonna suck after all."

Pinkie giggled at his antics. "I bet Twilight can fix that as well, don't worry! She's a genius, after all."

"She better be," he muttered, following the pink pony back down the path.