I woke up for the third time that night. I hadn't been sleeping well since I'd returned from Canterlot. Every time I went to sleep I had horrible dreams. Dreams of me destroying. Of getting revenge.
I knew deep down that I found some sick thrill in planning revenge on Celestia and the other royals. But would I follow through?
I got out of bed and walked into the kitchen. I made myself a sandwich and sat down to forget my dreams. I must have made more noise than I thought as I heard hoofsteps coming down the stairs.

"Shade? Is that you?"

Twilight walked into the kitchen, blinking her eyes in the sudden light.

"What time is it?"

I looked up at the clock.

"Close to four. You want a sandwich?"

"Why in Equestria are you up so early?"

"Bad dreams."

"Oh... I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really. But... Would you just sit with me?"

She smiled.

"Sure."

The princess took a seat next to me and grabbed the sandwich supplies on the table. We sat in silence, enjoying our early morning snack. I had decided that there was nothing like a peanut butter sandwich. Delicious!
Twilight finished her sandwich and looked ready to go back to bed. I didn't want to be alone though.

"So how are the plans for the Summer...thing."

"The Summer Sun Celebration. It's tomorrow and luckily I've been able to get most of my list checked off. There are just a few more things to prep and everything will be ready."

"What exactly happens at this celebration?"

"We celebrate Celestia's rule and the sunlight she brings to Equestria. The best part is watching her raise the sun!"

Celebrating Celestia's rule? That sounded like the perfect time to- No! I couldn't do that! Not after all the effort Ponyville was putting in for it. But still...
I shook my head to clear it and yawned. Twilight smiled. "I think we both need a few more hours of rest."

-----------------------------

I walked down the castle hallway. Somehow I had rediscovered my powers and was disguised as a guard. I approached Celestia's chamber and slowly opened the door.

"Your highness?"

"Yes?"

I stepped inside. Celestia was sitting on a pillow, reading a scroll. She looked up at me as I entered.

"What is it Corporal?"

"There's an enemy in the castle. I've been sent to guard you."

"The procedure is for a team of guards to come for my protection. Where is the team?"

I smiled. "I doubt they'll be coming since they don't know I'm here."

I shifted back to my natural form, causing Celestia to gasp. Before she could call out for help, I tackled her and bit down on her neck. Her eyes went wide as I began to tear-

"GAAAAAHHH!!"

I was in bed again.

"Shade?!"

I felt myself shaking. Twilight ran downstairs and approached me.

"What's wrong? Another nightmare?"

I slowly nodded, my body still quivering.

"What's wrong with me?"

"What do you mean?"

"All I can see are their faces! All I can think of is revenge!”

"Revenge? On who?"

"Celestia, Luna, Cadance. They locked me away. And now I keep having dreams of killing them!"

She stared at me, her eyes widening. I couldn't tell if she was shocked or frightened. I finally stopped shaking. But then the tears came.

"They were right. I am a monster!"

She pulled me into a hug.

"No! You can't think that!"

"I want them to feel what I felt! You have no idea what it was like for me! You've never been thrown into a cell like you’re an animal!"

"And you think throwing them in a cell will help you?"

I was caught off guard by the question. No, it wouldn't help me. I would feel good until they returned the favor. I'd be back in my cell forever. I'd have nothing. But they needed to feel my pain...
I looked at Twilight and she wiped away what tears were still on my cheek. She hugged me again.

"You can be so much more than you are right now. But treating others the same as they treat you won't solve anything. If you want them to know what they did was wrong, then show them you're good. I know you are."

"I don't know if I can..."

"That's why I'm here. I'm your friend. And I'm here to help you."

"But what if I slip? What if I actually do something?"

"That's up to you. I can only do so much. You have to make the decision for yourself. Just know that there's more than one choice."

She stood up.

"It's about time for me to go check on the preparations. You should stay in and get some sleep."

"I don't want to sleep. I'll keep having nightmares."

"I can help with that."

Her horn lit up and I felt my forehead grow warm. It felt...peaceful.

"This spell will give you a dreamless sleep. I'll be back to check on you in a few hours."

She walked towards the stairs as I laid against my pillow. My eyelids grew heavy as my vision blurred. I blacked out. And for once, nothing happened.

——————————

I woke up to the sounds of ponies shouting to each other. It sounded like things were getting now close.
I walked down to the main floor and grabbed a snack from the fridge. From there I peeked out the window, taking in the chaos outside. Ponies were running everywhere preparing for the big event. I hadn't set a hoof outside yet. There was too much of a chance of getting trampled.

"What are you staring at?"

I froze. Twilight was out supervising. So who...

"Hey!"

I turned around to find Pinkie Pie an inch from my face.

"Aren't you going to come outside for the Summer Sun Celebration?"

I took a step back. "Well... Everypony's so busy. I'd hate to get in the way."

"That's silly! Everypony should be part of the party!"

She grabbed me by the hoof and ran to the door. I was outside before I could object. Ponies glanced at us every few seconds, trying to figure out why a changeling was being dragged around by Pinkie. I guess Pinkie must do a lot of odd stuff because nopony asked about her and me.
I was dragged over to Sugar Cube Corner where a mountain of desserts was piled. i had never seen so many treats in my life!

"Are these all for the celebration?"

Pinkie picked up a cake and shoved it in her mouth.

"Ophf curthhh!"

I inhaled the aroma of sugar and frosting. It was intoxicating! Mrs. Cake appeared from behind the mountain.

"Oh Pinkie, you're here! We need help carrying everthi- Where was the cake I prepared for Celestia and Twilight?!"

Pinkie smiled guiltily, wiping frosting from her mouth. I stepped forward.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Well Mr. Cake and I do need to get these goodies moved, but we don't want to leave Pound and Pumpkin all alone. Could you watch them? They adore you so much!"

I think she's one of the few ponies who's taken to me in town. Nopony else would be willing to leave their kids with somepony like me.

"Sure! On one condition."

I pointed to a nearby tray of cupcakes.

"Can I have one of those?"

"For foalsititng, you can have anything you see!"

-----------------------------

The twins crawled over me as I tried to keep my reward down. I had picked out a plate of cupcakes and Mrs. Cake had let me have the whole thing. What I didn't know is that I couldn't handle a dozen cupcakes in one sitting. How did Pinkie manage it? Pumpkin sat down on my chest, staring at me.

"Ba dah!"

"Yeah. I know."

Pound was to the side of my head.

"Foo bo?"

"Nah, I'll be fine. Just give me a minute."

I slowly stood up, the twins cheering me on. My eyes shot to the window. The sun was beginning to go down. Twilight had mentioned that nopony could sleep during the night before the celebration. Great. Here I was ready to take a nap and I couldn't. I sighed and looked down at the twins.

"Alright you two, hop on."

They hopped a little harder than I would have liked. I grunted as the two foals landed on my back. When they had positioned themselves comfortably, we were off.
Ponies were all over town finishing last minute preparations. The foals 'ooo'ed as they stared at the decorations. I bet my eyes were just as wide as theirs. It was amazing! Streamers, balloons, and banners hung from everywhere. Tables of sweets were scattered throughout the town square. And there was Twilight and her friends, admiring the finished work.
I trotted over to them, the foals laughing as I picked up the speed. I slowed down as we arrived, chuckling myself.

"Hey guys!"

Twilight smiled.

"Pinkie said she had gotten you out of the library! I'm so glad you came!"

Pinkie darted over to my side.

"And you brought some friends! Hi you two!"

The foals jumped on her. A sigh of relief escaped me as the weight lifted off my back. I motioned to the square.

"This is amazing work!"

Rarity tossed her mane.

"Well thank you. It was really nothing."

Applejack cleared her throat. Rarity blushed.

"Well.. Pinkie helped of course."

I chuckled.

"Of course. But I can definitely see your designer's touch in the decor."

She blushed even more at that. Twilight rolled her eyes and leaned in close.

"Keep doing that and she'll expect a date."

Date? I was just being nice!

"Are you excited for the Celebration?"

"So what happens?"

"We wait for Celestia."

"You don't have to wait long."

We all turned to find the princess standing in front of town hall. We lowered ourselves into a bow. Celestia raised a hoof.

"It's good to see you all."

We stood up and greeted her in turn. I noticed that she glanced my way a few times.
Twilight excused herself to check on everything. One by one each of the mares stepped away. Soon I was left alone with Celestia. I lowered my head, not wanting to meet her gaze. It was as if she could see into my very soul.

"How have you adjusted to pony life?"

"Very well actually. I like it here in Ponyville."

"That's good to hear."

"We're both dancing around the problem Celestia."

"We are. I truly am sorry for what happened."

"And you know that I didn't forgive you?"

"I had a feeling that was the case."

"I guess there's nothing left to discuss."

I turned away, moving towards the main crowd of ponies.

"I hope you find it in your heart to forgive my family one day."

I paused, but couldn't bring myself to turn around.

"Only you could hope for the impossible Celestia."

I made my way to the crowd of ponies gathering in the square. I stood near the back of the crowd. Even if I haven't forgiven Celestia, I'm still interested in seeing what the Celebration was all about. Twilight was standing up in the front, addressing everypony.

"Thank you all for your help with the preparations and for attending! I truly believe this is one of the best Summer Sun Celebrations ever!"

The crowd cheered and applauded. I smiled and stomped a hoof. I was glad that Twilight was so happy for the festivities. Everything looked great.

"And now the moment we've all been waiting for. The raising of the sun!!"

Complete silence took hold as the crowd watched the horizon. I glanced around, wondering what was so impressive about a sunrise. And then I saw it...
The sun peeked over the mountains. And with it came a shadowed Celestia, her body outlined by the shining rays. The sun rose higher and higher, faster than I had ever seen it rise before. And it began to glow. It became a brilliant golden disc with the princess at the center. I have never seen anything so brilliant!
I finally blinked a few times, trying to clear my vision. Maybe it was time for me to turn in. I turned away and began walking towards the library.

"Figures."

I stopped and looked over my shoulder. Rainbow Dash was floating behind me.

"Excuse me?"

"Figures you would just leave during such an awesome event. We just witnessed Celestia raise the sun! I mean, my Sonic Rainboom is pretty awesome, but I could never raise the sun! That takes skill and guts!"

"And magic."

"Whatever. So you're just leaving after all that awesomeness?"

"Yeah."

I began walking away again.

"I guess changelings can't appreciate anything."

I stopped again. "First off, not a changeling anymore. Second, I can appreciate anything that deserves appreciation. And the display I just saw was the most amazing thing I've ever witnessed."

"And you're just leaving?"

"The sun's up. What else is there to see?"

"Try the entire Celebration!"

The pegasus flew in front of me.

"Me and my friends put a lot of effort into getting this party going! Would you just bail on all that effort?"

"It's not as if the Celebration was for me."

"It's for everypony!"

"Oh? You're saying I'm welcome?"

That made her pause for a minute. She landed and frowned. I walked passed her without another word. I got to the library and entered. Everything was quiet. I sighed contently, taking in the silence.

'Knock knock knock'

Oh come on! Why? I slowly turned around and grabbed the door. I opened it an inch and peaked out.

"What do you want?"

"Look. Just because I don't like you, doesn't mean you're not welcome."

"I think it's about more than just you and me."

"Oh really?"

"Not that it's any of your concern."

"What? You're just going to leave it at that?"

"Yeah."

I tried to close the door only to discover Rainbow had wedged her hoof in the doorway.

"Move."

"Fine."

Her hoof disappeared. I began to close the door and-

'WHAM!'

I was launched backwards as Rainbow rocketed through the doorway. I wound up on the opposite side of the library, books falling on top of me. I opened my eyes to see Rainbow standing upside down. I turned over and stood up.

"Okay, you're in now! What do you want?"

"What's up with you?"

"I've had a really bad week, okay?"

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Celestia threw me in a dungeon!"

Rainbow's jaw hung open in shock. I let out a huff and marched up to her.

"Aren't you happy to hear your princess shares your view of me?"

"Well... No actually. I never figured Celestia to be the kind to throw ponies in the dungeon."

"Believe it. I was kept in there for a week!"

"But you're out now."

"Yeah. They finally decided I was fine. But it still doesn't change the fact I was locked up."

We stood there in silence for a moment. I wanted her to leave. I wanted to be alone. And I guess she didn't want to be there either. She turned and hovered towards the door.
I began picking up the books around me, putting them back on the shelf. I heard the door open and let out a soft sigh. Finally I would have some peace and quiet.

"Look..."

Great. She was still here.

"If Celestia thinks you're good.... Maybe I can be nicer."

I looked over my shoulder. "What?"

"I can be nicer, okay?!"

I turned around to look at her.

"Really?"

"Yeah! Don't make me say it again."

"How about that. You're not as cold-hearted as I thought. You've got a soft spot Rainbow."

"If you ever tell anypony what I said today, I'll pound your face in."

I chuckled.

"Agreed."

She turned to fly off.

"Hey Rainbow. I'm sorry about that day. You know... When we fought in the square."

Rainbow stared at me for a moment before smiling.

"Thanks. I'm sorry too."

And with that she was gone. I stacked the last of the books and looked out the window. The sun was still rising, but Celestia was no longer in front of it. She must have landed in Ponyville for the Celebration. I sighed to myself.

"They sure put a lot of effort into it, didn't they?"

I looked around the library. It had suddenly become too quiet. I felt a smile crawl onto my face. It would be a shame to let a perfectly good party go to waste. I walked to the door and opened it. I froze as I found Rainbow standing on the other side. She had a smug look.

"I figured you'd change your mind."

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