Twilight had tried to be helpful.

You have to talk to her eventually.

I knew it deep down. But it was something I dreaded more than anything else in Equestria. And so much time had passed. Twilight had sent that letter to Celestia ages ago. There had been no reply.

Now four years had passed since I’d been released from the dungeons.

Neither Celestia or I had tried to press the matter further. Twilight had been distraught over this issue. Celestia was always busy it seemed. And I had no desire to see her either.
After trying for three years she’d finally laid it to rest. Though she did sneak something into her conversations once in a while.

I practiced my socializing constantly and studied what I could about the pony world. I had blended into society. I was a happier pony now then the changeling I had been nearly five years ago when I was saved.

And yet.. I still did get those nightmares every few weeks. My meditation and helped get it down to nearly once a month. I knew deep down that I had gotten over the whole ordeal, but some anger still persisted. Pony emotions were so much more complicated than anything. But I considered complex emotions better than the constant optimism of the changelings. Thorax always seemed happy the few times I’d seen him. I couldn’t stand it.
I met a few other changelings after that. All of them enthusiastic and happy. So much positive energy! It was exhausting! Thus I was glad of my complex mix of emotions over what seemed to be an endless supply of happy.

I brought my focus back to the present as I made my way down the street, greeting a few of my neighbors on my way toward the town sqaure. The sun was shining and the clouds were white. A beautiful day! A lot had happened to bring me to this point in my life, and I kept the hope that all of my suffering was getting ready to pay off.
I trotted into the square and was greeted by Applejack. She was at her family’s stand, organizing the apples by color.

“Howdy Shade! Yer lookin’ mighty happy today!”

“I’m feeling happy today. It’s my day off and I’m looking for an adventure!”

“Well before you run off, can you do me a favor?”

“What do you need?”

“Could you take this bag of apples to Twilight’s?”

“I’d be happy to.”

I picked up the bag she’d pointed out and sling it onto my back. I no longer had any pain where my wings had once been attached. Those wounds had finally stopped aching years ago. I smiled at Applejack and began the walk to Twilight’s castle.

“Shade?”

I looked back at Applejack.

“What’s up?”

“Just..be careful.”

Now what did she mean by that? I decided not to push the matter further as she appeared uncomfortable. My chipper mood began to sober up.
I made it to Twilight’s a few minutes later and knocked on the door. Spike answered and smiled.

“Hey Shade. How’ve you been?”

“Well enough. Though I feel like something’s going on..”

Spike’s smile faded and he looked behind the door. He turned back to me and whispered.

“Celestia is visiting.”

Spike was never one to hide things. And I appreciated that about him. He never held a secret from me. I stood in the doorway a few seconds, pondering over the plan Twilight must have implemented to make sure of this meeting. I rested my hoof on Spike’s head and sighed.

“Thank you for telling me.”

“Are you going to leave?”

It was tempting. But there was something about today that made my stubborn side slightly more receptive at this moment. I stepped inside without another word and Spike closed the door.
He led me through he castle to the library. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

There she was..

Twilight and Celestia had been talking. Laughing even. But it stopped as soon as I entered the room. Twilight’s jaw dropped.

“Shade! I didn’t think you’d come in!”

“I’m just full of surprises today.”

I walked up to the two alicorns, stopping a few feet short. I looked up at Celestia. She hadn’t said a word to me. I swallowed hard and forced my pride down as far into me as possible. And then I bowed.

“Princess. It’s been a long time.”

“Yes it has Shade. How have you been?”

“Doing better every day.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“Shall we dispense the small talk and get down to the reason Twilight brought us here?”

Twilight blushed. She thought she had been clever. Her embarrassment made me smile. It seemed to do the same for Celestia as a smile crept to her face.

“Twilight had always had everypony’s best interests at heart.”

“Celestia-“

She held up a hoof. I clamped my mouth shut.

“I know that what I did was wrong. I will not try to defend it. I acted in the interests of others, not myself. That does not excuse your imprisonment. And I would like to apologize for it. You were treated poorly and I will never be able to repair what my family did to you.”

It was my turn to be shocked. I hadn’t expected this!

“I-I-“

“Twilight has kept me up to speed on how you’ve progressed with your new life. I’m proud to see how you’ve grown.”

“It’s taken a long time to get here.”

“I’m sure it has.”

“I still have nightmares every once in a while.”

Why had I blurted that out?! Celestia didn’t seem phased at all.

“I understand. I’m sure it’s been hard to cope with those aggressive feelings. But you seem to have learned better control over your emotions.”

“Years of practice.”

“As I thought would be needed. I knew I could not speak to you until you felt you were ready. Though I wanted to apologize from day one.”

She reached a hoof out to me.

“I’m so glad you came.”

I stared at her hoof for a what seemed like an eternity. I had felt so angry for so long. But beneath that anger was a desire to let the past be buried. I didn’t want to dwell on old grievances. I wanted to move forward. All it had taken was four years. Four years of meditation, crying, and honing my emotions.
I could feel the nightmares, the revenge plots, and the last of my old self wither away as I reached out and took her hoof. We smiled at each other as Twilight began jumping up and down.

“Yes! It worked!”

I rolled my eyes and Celestia giggled at her former student.
Twilight left the two of us alone and we talked for another hour as I told Celestia about the last few years in my own words. I told her everything, good and bad. I was hesitant when she asked me to describe some of my dreams, but her gentle gaze told me that she wouldn’t care what I told her. And I went into detail. Nothing seemed to phase her easily. She listened, only asking a question here and there. It felt amazing to get some of this off my chest. And I knew she could tell. I let out a sigh as I felt my body relax.

“I wish that I could turn off what’s left of my anger and resentment.”

“It’s all part of the experience I’m afraid.”

“I suppose so.”

“Shade, you’ve built a wonderful life for yourself. The progress you’ve made is beyond anything I could have wished for you.”

“I’ve had a lot of time to myself. Not much else to do than work on me.”

“Which brings me to a proposition I have had in mind for a while.”

“Oh?”

“You’ve grown accustomed to Ponyville. And you’ve become a fine pony. I was wondering if you’d like to come to Canterlot to expand your horizons.”

That...was unexpected.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve learned a lot here. But I feel there is more that you could learn if you were to come to Canterlot. New places, new ponies, a new set of knowledge. Can you still digest books as fast as you used to?”

“I’ve lost some of my edge after my conversion unfortunately. I can only make it through about 20 books an hour now.”

“Well there’s an entire library that could use your gift.”

“Me? A librarian?”

“I was thinking more Collector of Knowledge. I feel that it could be useful to have pony around that knows a bit of everything.”

“So you want me for my brain?”

She giggled.

“If you want to put it that way. I’d like you to be on my staff eventually.”

“What?!”

“You have a mind that is still being molded to think like a pony. I believe that that is a positive direction, but to a certain point. You have a gift for knowledge that I’ve only seen in one other.”

Her horn lit up as she pulled the library door open. Twilight tumbled inside.

“I...just got to the door?”

Celestia smiled and returned her gaze to me.

“If you are up for the challenge, I’d like to have you join me and my sister to provide us with knowledge and understanding that would otherwise take us months, years even, to learn. You could become the most knowledgeable pony in Equestria.”

Twilight’s eats drooped. Celestia giggled again.

“Present company excluded?”

Twilight ran over to me.

“Are you going to accept?”

“I’m not sure. It’s a tempting offer. Plus, I did set out today looking for an adventure.”

I looked back up at Celestia.

“So I would come to Canterlot, read everything and anything I want, and then be your go-to guide for any subject matter?”

“And you’d have your own personal study in the castle if you’d like.”

“Why haven’t you said yes already?! Accept! Say something!!”

We both glanced at Twilight. She blushed.

“Sorry.”

I took a deep breath. What else could I do but accept? It was the opportunity of a lifetime. And in all honesty, I felt I owed Celestia the chance of repairing whatever relationship there was between us.

“Celestia, I would be proud to be your knowledge pony.”

Twilight began cheering and Celestia let out a sigh of relief.

“I was hoping you’d say that.”

“Could we come up with a better name for my position?”

“I leave that to you. I couldn’t think of one myself.”

I thought for a moment. What to call a pony that had all the answers?

“Consider me...the Librarian. With a capital L.”

Next Chapter: Canterlot: Day One Estimated time remaining: 4 Hours, 19 Minutes