Upon waking up, it took me a few seconds to remember why I was sleeping against a wall. As the memories of last night came back to me, I groaned softly and reluctantly cracked my eye open. Sunlight was streaming through the throne room windows. Thankfully, due to my position against the wall, it couldn’t reach me. For some reason, that fact caused me to snicker softly. A few of the windows were open, allowing a gentle breeze to waft in along with the soft chirp of birdsong and the scent of flowers.

With a yawn, I sat up and glanced blearily around the room. Sometime during the night, Twilight had shifted in her sleep and had rolled off of me. She was now lying beside me, nestled up against my leg with her chin resting on my thigh. As I watched, she shifted slightly and murmured something inaudible before a small smile graced her lips.

A warm feeling welled up in my chest as I watched her. It was hard to believe how fast our relationship had grown within the last few days. Actually, it was hard to believe that our relationship had evolved into this, considering that it felt like it was only a month or so ago that she had pulled me out of a crate and proceeded to poke me until I bruised.

Now, almost a year later, here we were.

Reaching down, I gently scratched behind her ear, causing it to flick. After a few seconds, she hummed softly, her tail twitching back and forth. She nickered something before pushing up against my side. I placed my hand on her head before glancing up and surveying the room.

I could see the others were piled around the bottom of the throne’s dais. They were all still asleep, although how any of them were sleeping through Rainbow’s snoring was beyond me. Celestia and Luna were both standing atop the dais, talking softly with one another. Celestia was staring out one of the windows, a soft smile on her face.

I watched them for a few more seconds before the nearby clank of metal drew my attention away. Glancing to my right, I blinked in surprise when I saw the Battlemages were still standing at attention a few meters away. At least, I thought they were the same Battlemages, if their coat and mane colors were anything to go by.

As I turned my head to look at them, the mare shifted, causing her armor to ‘clink’ again. She snorted something, to which her partner replied with a nicker.

I frowned and returned my attention to Twilight, rubbing her head gently, while trying my best to not wake her up in the process.

“I hope they figure out what’s stopping us from understanding each other,” I muttered softly to her. “This is just like when I went to Chile. Couldn’t understand anybody. Really annoying.” I flinched, rubbing my neck gingerly. I still sounded hoarse, like I was getting over a bad cold. It was weird hearing myself talk again; my own voice had become foreign to me after nearly a year of disuse.

“Can finally talk again, and there’s no one to talk to,” I grumbled before sighing softly.

Twilight’s ear twitched and she shifted slightly against me, but remained asleep.

It was about this time that my body decided to inform me that I had a very full bladder, and it was getting ready to release said payload. Reaching down, I lifted Twilight’s head as gently as possible before slowly moving my leg out from under her. She stirred when I placed her chin on her foreleg, but only proceeded to curl up into a ball. Scooching away from her, I stood up and stretched, only to wince as my back cracked several times.

Really missing my couch about now, I thought as I worked the kinks out of my limbs.

Both battlemages looked at me as I stood. They eyed me curiously, but did nothing else. They did, however, follow me when I started towards the throne room doors with the intent to find a bathroom. The pair fell in step behind me as I walked, the clink of their armor echoing through the room.

Glancing over my shoulder, I gave them a bemused look. I stopped walking and they paused as well, only to resume walking when I did.

Great, I hope they don’t follow me into the bathroom as well, I huffed in annoyance. I had no clue why Celestia had thought that I needed protection. I could still protect myself from most of the nobles, the Elements hadn’t affected that. I just couldn’t hear what they were saying now, which was fine because it’s not like they had anything useful to say anyways.

I had just reached the doors, when a low nicker sounded behind me. Turning, I blinked in surprise when I saw Celestia walking towards me with Luna trailing behind.

Upon reaching me, Celestia smiled softly before signing. ~How are you feeling this morning?~

Running the motions through my head, it took a few seconds for my tired mind to process what she had just said. When I finally understood, I smiled. ~Slightly better than I was last night, thanks~

~I would just like to apologize again for what has happened~ Celestia signed, her ears splaying back.

I shook my head, still smiling.

~It’s fine~ I signed. ~You were just trying to help. And technically you did get me talking again. We just can’t understand each other now~

~We’ll figure out what’s going on. I promise~ Celestia signed. ~In the meantime, we can have Twilight try and teach you the language~

I frowned at that, my brow furrowing. While that would probably be for the best, could I even make the noises required for their language? It sounded like regular horse nickering, but that didn’t necessarily mean that I could replicate it.

Glancing back up at Celestia, I pointed at myself and said, “Max.”

Celestia gave me a confused look until I repeated the gesture. Her eyes then lit up and she smiled. Lifting a hoof, she pressed it against her chestplate and said what I assumed was her name. It was a shrill nicker that ended in a click of the teeth.

I tried to copy the noise, only for both of us to flinch when I failed completely. Even when Celestia repeated the noise several more times, I couldn’t seem to get it right.

A troubled look crossed the princesses’ faces. Luna stepped forward and placed a hoof on her own chest before saying (once again assuming) her name: a low whinny followed by a snort.

The snort I was able to do fairly well, but I failed at the whinny, as Luna’s wince clearly showed. Both princesses exchanged worried looks.

Learning their language might be harder than I thought, I mused, chewing on the inside of my cheek. Maybe if I—

I winced as my bladder suddenly reminded me that it wasn’t in the mood for delays. Deciding that I could worry about the language barrier once my bladder was empty, I started to sign something to Celestia, only to wince again as the pressure grew. With that, I turned and started to push the throne room doors open, only to pause when Celestia nickered.

~May I inquire as to where you are going?~ she asked. Behind her, Luna shot the back of Celestia’s head an annoyed look before rolling her eyes at me.

~To the bathroom~ I replied quickly, resisting the urge to cross my legs and dance in place. ~I really have to pee. I am allowed to leave, aren’t I?~

~Of course~ Celestia signed. ~Would you mind if I accompanied you—~

Luna nickered loudly, interrupting Celestia. She gave her sister an incredulous look before turning to look at me.

~Go take care of whatever you need to take care of~ she signed.

Celestia gave her sister a hurt look, to which Luna sighed and nuzzled her neck, whinnying softly. Celestia sighed as well before returning the gesture.

I watched the two of them for a few seconds before my bladder twinged. Turning quickly, I pushed the throne room doors open and stepped out into the hall. The Battlemages slipped out as well before the doors could fully closed again. The three of us hurried off down the hall, my ever-constant shadows following faithfully behind me.

Thankfully, the Battlemages didn’t end up following me into the bathroom. They waited outside, positioned on either side of the door, while I did my business. There were no candles in this one, so, without anything to distract myself with, I was in and out fairly quickly.

As I exited the bathroom, I wiped my wet hands on my pants before glancing down at the pair.

“Is this going to be a common thing, you following me around everywhere?” I asked, motioning between the two of them. “Cause I don’t think Twilight’s gonna like you two standing in the corner, watching us sleep.”

The mare Battlemage cocked her head to the side before nickering.

“Alright, but if things get steamy, you ain’t joining in, got it?” I huffed, pointing a finger at her.

The Battlemage flinched back as I pointed at her before a glare crossed her face and she snorted. Taking a step forward, she nickered loudly, her eyes narrowing.

“Well, I don’t care how much you need it, it ain’t happenin’!” I shouted. Throwing my hands up in the air, I turned and headed off down the hall. There was a moment of silence before I heard the Battlemages whinney in alarm. The sounds of hooves on marble filled the air as they scrambled to catch up with me. I couldn’t help but smirk. They might not have known what I was saying, but it was still fun to mess with them.

Besides, it wasn’t like I could do much else with them, given the language barrier.

I could hear the mare Battlemage grumbling beside me as we made our way back towards the throne room, while the stallion remained quiet.

Birdsong filled the air as I stepped through the archway, where dozens of birds of various colors flitted from tree to tree. Dew still covered the ground, glinting in the morning sunlight. Flowers dotted the ground, several patches of them waiting for the sun to rise higher in order to bloom. There was a family of rabbits beside the brook, washing themselves and enjoying life.

Taking a deep breath, I smiled as the smell of morning filled my nostrils. I stepped off of the stepping stones and into the grass, wincing slightly as the cold dew got onto my toes; my sandals did little to protect my feet. I moved quickly until I got into a patch of sunlight where the dew had already evaporated.

I moved further into the garden, enjoying the peace and quiet. In fact, it was too quiet. Glancing over my shoulder, I looked around for my guards. It took me a few seconds to find them. They were standing back by the archway, watching me from a distance. That seemed strange to me, but seeing as that was the only real entrance into the gardens, I figured that they were just picking a good spot to set up watch. Pushing the guards from my mind, I turned and wandered aimlessly through the gardens.

“Ready to leave?”

Gem Weaver’s eyes narrowed as she watched the human disappear into the gardens. “Yes. No need to stick around any longer. They will deal with him soon enough.”

Her partner glanced over at her, his face impassive.

“And what do we tell the Princesses?” he asked. “You do realize that Princess Sparkle will have our heads for this, right?”

Gem Weaver snorted before turning and heading back into the castle’s interior. “You leave that to me.”

I had been wandering for a few minutes before I entered a small clearing surrounded by rose bushes. Stopping off at one of the bigger ones, I eyed a couple of the flowers curiously. They were white, yet had a deep crimson lining the rims of the petals.

Examining several of them, I picked a few of the larger ones and placed them gingerly in my pocket for later. Twilight might enjoy these. With that, I stepped through the bushes and into a small clearing.

As I stepped out into the empty clearing, I felt a light impact on my left shoulder, causing me to jump. Quickly glancing over, I blinked in surprise upon seeing a large bird perched upon my shoulder, eyeing me curiously. It was fire red, with bright-orange feathers mixed in. Its tail feathers were long, dangling down by my waist. It shifted on my shoulders, being mindful of its talons.

I stared at the bird with wide-eyes, not believing what I was seeing. I knew that animals were generally more friendly here in Equestria, but I had never actually had a bird come up and perch upon me before. At least, not without Fluttershy being present.

“And what do you want?” I asked, keeping my voice soft.

The bird chirped and cocked its head to the side, staring at me with a large red eye. It chirped again, making a long, low whistling noise before taking off. I winced, closing my eyes on reflex as its wings cuffed the back of my head. Orange feathers fluttered around me as I gazed skyward, watching the strange bird fly off towards the castle. My shoulder suddenly felt cold for some reason.

Watching the bird until it disappeared into the sky, I moved to head back towards the palace, only to freeze when I realized that the clearing wasn’t as empty as I had first thought. There, standing in the shadows of the trees on the far side of the clearing, were four humans: three males and a lanky female. They eyed me cautiously, the female hiding behind one of the males, a large fellow who had really broad shoulders. They were all clad in plain brown clothing, some of the pieces tattered slightly.

As I watched, the big guy took a tentative step forward, causing the female to chirp and hid behind one of the other males. He took another step and I began to slowly back up, hold my arms up in an attempt to keep him calm.

“Whoa, there, fella’,” I said softly, “It’s all good. I don’t want your girl. I’ll just be going, okay?” I made to turn around, but stopped when the male suddenly raised a hand and motioned towards me.

“Come,” he grunted.

I froze, my brain grinding to a halt as it tried to process what had happened. The human had just talked. The human had just talked!

B-but… that doesn’t make any sense! Humans can’t speak! Humans aren’t smart enough to speak. They are just mindless animals here. Ponies would have noticed if humans were intelligent, right? Ponies would have… noticed… No, it can’t be that stupidly simple, can it? No pony has ever heard a human speak. No pony has ever heard a human speak! My eyes widened as my brain started to work again.

“They blasted me with the Elements,” I muttered, covering my mouth with my hand as I began to pace. The humans watched me, their heads moving back and forth. “Ponies stop understanding me, I stop understanding them, I understand humans. It can’t be… can it? Really? It’s… it’s not...” I glance over at the large male, whose brow is now furrowed, a look of confusion on his face.

“Come?” he said again, the word sounding more like a question. He motioned with his hand, trying to get me to approach.

I just stared at him.

“Come, now!” he said, putting more force into the words.

“They’re intelligent,” I muttered to myself. “No, not really intelligent, but sapient. They can think? Why has nobody noticed this before? Have they always been this intelligent, or are they getting—”

“I’m sorry if he was bothering you, sir,” the guard said, levitating the struggling human behind him. “He got out of his kennel and pulled a runner on me when I wasn’t looking. Managed to get the lock open and everything. I swear, we’ve never had this issue before. Those locks were designed to be human-proof, but somehow they’ve recently managed to figure out how to open them from the inside.”

“—smarter,” I breathed, staring at the humans with wide eyes. “Oooh, this is either really good, or really bad.”

“Come,” the large male huffed, taking a step closer to me. “Come, come see, now!”

“Come, come! Come and see!” the female chirped, poking her head out from behind her human shield.

“See now, yes. Follow!” one of the other males said, nodding his head. “Come, now.”

“Oh man, I know a couple of ponies that are gonna want to hear about this,” I said to myself. Twilight was going to have a fit when she found out. Celestia too. I just had to get back and tell them. This was big. Really big.

I turned to head back to the castle, but the large human moved to block my path.

“No, no go. Come,” he said before pushing me back into the clearing.

I staggered slightly, almost falling before I managed to get my feet beneath me again. Holy hell, this guy is strong. Glaring at him, I pointed up towards the castle, barely visible above the surrounding foliage. “No, I’m not going with you. I have to go there. It’s important.”

“No, not there. Come,” he grunted, baring his teeth.

“No, I have to go there,” I repeated, pointing at the castle again. “I need to talk to—GAH!” Apparently having grown tired of my unwillingness to follow, the large human decided to take matters into his own hands. Grabbing me by the scruff of my shirt, he then picked me up and flung me over his shoulder.

“Come,” he said before stalking off into the trees, in the opposite direction of the castle.

“How about no,” I growled, starting to struggle. I tried to push myself off of him, but he smacked the back of my head. I immediately went limp, stars exploding in front of my eyes as a loud ringing filled my ears. Dazed, I could only hang there as the humans headed off into the gardens, moving further and further away from the palace.

“P-Princess Celestia?”

Celestia blinked, her ears perking up as a timid voice spoke up behind her. Turning, she gave a nervous-looking Twilight Sparkle a soft smile. “Yes, Twilight?”

The smaller alicorn shuffled back and forth awkwardly, unable to look Celestia in the eye. Her wings twitched by her side, furling and unfurling slightly. She opened and closed her mouth several times before sighing heavily and hanging her head.

“I wanted to apologize for how I acted towards you yesterday, Princess,” she murmured, keeping her head lowered. “It wasn’t your fault the Elements did whatever it was they did, and I had no right to take my fear out on you like that. I’m sorry.”

Celestia stared blankly down at her for a few seconds before a smile slowly spread across her lips. Leaning down, she gently nuzzled the top of Twilight’s head.

“You have nothing to apologize for, Twilight,” she said. “While it is true that your actions hurt slightly, it’s perfectly normal to be distressed when somepony you care about is in trouble, especially with the hormones from estrus affecting your judgement.”

“That doesn’t forgive what I did though,” Twilight muttered, her ears pressed against her head. “You were just trying to help, and I snapped at you.”

“Yes, but you’ve already apologized for that,” Celestia said softly. “Just remember to try and not take your frustrations out on those who are trying to help you in the future. Could you imagine what it would be like if I took my anger out on those who came to petition to me? Soon, nopony would come to me for help.” As she finished speaking, Celestia continued to rest her cheek on Twilight’s head, enjoying the sensation. Twilight tentatively returned the nuzzle, causing Celestia to hum softly. It had been awhile since they had had a moment together. Ever since she had sent Twilight to Ponyville to oversee the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration, it seemed like they barely had time for each other anymore. Four years might seem like a short period of time to one whose life was measured in millennia, but Twilight had grown so much in those few brief years that Celestia felt like she had missed much of her growth.

Gently running her nose through Twilight’s mane, she inhaled softly, taking in her student’s scent. The familiar aroma of lavender that always seemed to follow Twilight around filled Celestia’s nostrils, along with the faint spicy hint of a mare in heat. However, a new fragrance accompanied the old ones, buried beneath Twilight’s natural scent. The faint smell of metal and oaken smoke tickled Celestia’s nose, causing her nostrils to twitch.

It took her a few seconds to place the scent, but when she did, her smile faded. It belonged to Max. She hadn’t realized how artificial his scent was, so similar to the well oiled machines the griffons occasionally liked to brag about. Nothing at all like the nature-like aromas that ponies gave off.

Her mind wandering to the strange human, she pulled back from Twilight slowly, a small frown flitting across her face. A frown that Twilight noticed almost immediately.

“Princess…?” she began before trailing off, the uncertainty clear in her voice.

Celestia blinked, giving her head a small shake before looking down at Twilight. She smiled softly, a melancholy look in her eyes.

“I realize that you might not be too eager to have my assistance again, especially after what has happened,” she said, “but I promise you, we’re going to fix this one way or another. Even if I have to spend months teaching Max our language myself, I will help fix the damage I have caused.” As Celestia finished speaking, Twilight remained silent, staring up at her with an unreadable look on her face. After a few seconds, Celestia’s ears splayed back, and her smile faded.

“There is no damage to fix,” Twilight said suddenly, surprising Celestia. “After calming down and sleeping on it, I realize that the Elements did what you intended them to do. They removed the chaos magic from within Max, and he is now able to talk again.”

“But, he can’t understand us, nor we him,” Celestia said quietly.

“When we first met, we couldn’t understand one another easily,” Twilight countered, a small smile slowly spreading across her muzzle. “It took him forever to write out what he wanted to say, and he couldn’t ‘talk’ for long before his hand would cramp up. Because of this, I taught him hoof-language. It took him a few weeks to get the basics, but within two months, we were able to communicate almost flawlessly.

“Now, we once again find that we can’t understand one another easily,” she continued, her smile growing. “So that means that I just have to teach him all over again.”

“YEAH!” Both alicorns jumped at the loud shout that echoed around the room. They both watched, wide-eyed, as Rainbow fluttered down between them, a confident smirk on her face.

“We’ve got this in the bag!” she crowed, jabbing at the air with her hooves. “the big guy was able to figure out that weird clapping language of his in two months? We’ll have him speaking normally in under one!”

Celestia and Twilight glanced at one another before returning their attention to Rainbow.

“It’s not that simple, Rainbow,” Twilight said, biting her lip. “Hoof-language is a lot easier to learn than Equestrian. For hoof-language, you only have to learn a select few key phrases in order to start making sentences. For Equestrian, you have to learn sentence structure, words, grammar, and syntax.”

Rainbow scoffed, waving her hoof dismissively. “There you go, making it all eggheady again—”

“Not to mention,” Luna interrupted, walking up to stand next to her sister, a grim look on her face “that he might not be able to replicate the noise necessary to speak our language.”

“W-what do you mean?” Twilight asked, her ears splaying backwards.

“Earlier, before you were awake, we tried a simple experiment,” Luna explained. “Or, I should say, Max tried it. He said what we assumed to be his name, and Celestia did so as well. However, when Max tried to copy her, he was unable to make the noises necessary to pronounce her name. The closest he got was something that sounded like ‘caelum’.”

“This… this might make things difficult,” Twilight hummed. She rubbed her chin, a troubled look crossing her face. “If his vocal chords aren’t able to…” She trailed off, her eyes darting back and forth as her brow furrowed.

Silence fell over the group for a moment before Rarity cleared her throat.

“Not to, um… interrupt the conversation,” she said softly, “but where is Max exactly?”

“Hey, yeah!” Rainbow said, perking up. She glanced around the room, as if just noticing the lack of the human. “He’s not here, and Twilight’s not freaking out!”

“Hey!” Twilight cried at the same time Celestia began to speak.

“He went to the bathroom some time ago,” she said. “I dare say he might be freshening up after the events of last night. Not to worry, though. His guards went with him.”

Just as she finished speaking, the throne room doors swung open and a single Battlemage entered. Glancing around, she looked around before spotting Celestia and hurrying over.

As the Battlemage drew nearer, Celestia perked up, and her eyes widened. “Sergeant Gem Weaver? What are you doing here instead of guarding—”

“We’ve got a problem,” The Battlemage, Gem Weaver, said as she came to a stop in front of the group.

“And what, pray tell, is that?” Luna asked cooly. “Besides the fact you abandoned your charge.”

“That’s just it,” Gem Weaver said, her ears splaying back. “We followed the Anomaly to the bathroom, but didn’t follow him in. When he didn’t emerge again after a few minutes, I sent Iron Shore in to check on him. There was no sign of the Anomaly inside the bathroom, and the window was wide open. I currently have Iron Shore searching the castle for the human, and I came right here to inform you of the situation.” Silence fell as the Battlemage stopped speaking. Everyone was staring at her, wide-eyed.

“Max ran off?” Twilight whispered in confusion.

“Seems strange,” Luna muttered, her brow furrowing. “Why would he wander off like that?”

“Sergeant,” Celestia said loudly, turning to look at Gem Weaver.

The Battlemage stood at attention, awaiting orders.

“I want you to gather several squads of Battlemages and search the castle for him. Look in the gardens as well. He has shown a preference for them in the past. Remember, no force. He isn’t in trouble, we just want to make sure he is safe.”

Gem Weaver nodded, and moved to run off, but stopped when Twilight gasped loudly.

“Wait! I almost forgot about the tracking spell!” she squealed, smiling widely.

Gem Weaver froze, her entire body stiffening suddenly.

Luna gave Twilight a curious look. “Tracking spell?”

“Yes!” Twilight chirped, happily nodding her head. “I placed it on him months ago, back when he was going through his ‘need-to-find-trouble’ phase so I could locate him quickly. The spell should still be in effect though, so finding him should be easy enough. One second!”

As Twilight’s horn lit up, Luna blinked before scrunching up her muzzle.

“Is it common practice nowadays to place tracking spells on one’s mates?” she muttered, glancing at the others. No one met her gaze, however, and Rarity coughed into her hoof.

“Not typically,” she said weakly.

“Ah, I see,” Luna hummed before returning her attention to Twilight. She had a look of concentration on her face, her horn glowing steadily brighter. Just as the spell was about to reach its apex, the light around the tip of Twilight’s horn sputtered and died suddenly in a shower of sparks.

Twilight blinked once, staring up at her horn in confusion. She tried casting the spell again, only to flinch as sparks rained down upon her head for a second time. Eyes widening in horror, she cast the spell for a third time, only to be met with the same results.

“It’s not working,” she said shrilly.

“Are you sure the spell didn’t wear off?” Luna asked, her tone soft as she tried to calm the panicking Twilight.

“Yes, I’m sure!” Twilight snapped as another shower of sparks cascaded from her horn. “It worked last night. I casted it right before Max arrived and we used the Elements… of Harmony…” She trailed off, a look of dawning comprehension bleeding in through her horror.

“The Elements,” she breathed, staring off into space. “They removed all forms of foreign magic from his body. So that means when we blasted him…”

“Your spell was removed along with the chaos magic,” Celestia finished, her eyes widening as well. A small gasp rippled around the gathered ponies as they suddenly realized what was happening.

Slowly, Twilight’s ears began to lower as her pupils shrunk.

“I… I have no clue where Max is.”

When my head had stopped ringing enough for me to become aware of my surroundings, I realized that the humans had somehow managed to climb the walls of the gardens. We were now moving through the outskirts of Canterlot, keeping to the trees and bushes that crept up along a wrought iron fence. On the other side of the fence, I could see one of the streets of lower Canterlot, broken down buildings and shops lining the far side. Glancing to the left, I saw a cliff edge a few meters away, dropping down to the mountain side far below.

Wincing slightly, I tried to push myself up, only to groan as my head throbbed. The human holding me shifted slightly.

“Stay,” he grunted.

I obeyed, if only to not be hit in the head again; the guy packed a punch. I think I’ll call him ‘Brute’ for now.

The humans continued to follow the fence, silently making their way through the foliage. The two smaller males walked in front of the large one, with the female bringing up the rear. She eyed me curiously as she walked, her head cocked to the side.

“Pain, yes?” she asked as the large male jostled me slightly, causing me to wince.

“Yes, I’m in pain,” I growled, “because someone—” I glared at the back of Brute’s head “—hit me harder than he needed to.”

“Need to come,” Brute said. “Was going, need to come.”

“I needed to go to the castle,” I replied, glaring at the ground beneath me. “I have someone I need to talk to. Several someones I needed to talk to. Now turn around and take me back.”

“Can’t,” Brute grunted. “Need to come. Need to see.”

“I’m thinking about changing your name to Tarzan,” I huffed. Blood was pooling in my head, making the pounding even worse.

At my words, Brute paused, causing the female to nearly crash into him, her head missing mine by inches.

“Name?” he asked, turning his head to look back at me.

“Yeah, a name,” I grunted. “It’s what people call you, it’s who you are. Like, my name is Max. Everyone calls me that. That’s who I am.”

“Name?” Brute repeated again. “Name is Tarzan?”

I blinked before struggling to turn and look him in the eye. “What? No, your name isn’t really Tarzan, I was just thinking about calling you it. Like a nickname.”

“Name is Tarzan,” Brute said firmly before beginning to walk again.

“I don’t believe this,” I groaned as I fell back across his back. After a few seconds, I glanced up at the female. “That means that you must be Jane,” I snarked, rolling my eyes.

She blinked up at me before tilting her head to the other side. “Jane? Name is Jane?”

“No, I meant…” I trailed off with a groan, my head dropping again. “Nevermind.”

“Name is Jane!” she chirped happily.

“Fuck my life.”

They continued walking for a few more minutes before I felt Brute—or the newly christened ‘Tarzan’—come to a halt. Pushing myself up, I glanced around to see why we had stopped. A large wall loomed in front of us, standing nearly twelve feet high. It was made out of uneven bricks, some of which jutted out at random intervals. The humans were staring up at it with blank looks on their faces.

Glancing at Tarzan, I tapped him on the top of the head. “Well, it appears we can’t go any further so... can you let me down now?”

He remained silent, cocking his head to the side as he continued to stare at the wall.

I tapped on his head again. “Hey, you in there? Can you let me doooOOOOOWN!” I yelped in surprise, clinging to Tarzan as he suddenly jumped into the air. Latching onto the uneven bricks, he began to climb up the wall one-handed, the other one holding me in place. From my position on his back, I could watch as the others did the same, clawing their way up the rough, uneven surface of the wall as easily as one would scale a rock-climbing wall.

“Okay, I don’t like this,” I said as they continued to climb. “The grounds getting kinda far away. I really don’t like this. Is this really necessary? Put me down!”

Reaching the top of the wall, Tarzan lifted himself up and swung his legs around until he was sitting on top of it. With a grunt, he pulled me from his shoulder and, holding me by the back of my shirt, dangled me down the side of the wall.

I struggled, flailing about as I hung in midair. “Put me down! Put me down! Put me the fuck—GAH!” My stomach rose to my throat as Tarzan suddenly released his hold on me, dropping me over a half dozen feet to the ground below. I crumpled immediately upon hitting the ground, rolling several times before I collapsed in a heap on the wet grass.

With a groan, I rolled onto my back just as a soft ‘thump’ came from my right. A few seconds later, a face filled my vision as Tarzan stared down at me with a blank look on his face.

“Why the fuck did you do that?” I asked, glaring up at him. “What possibly possessed you to drop me on my ass like that?”

He blinked several times before tilting his head to the side. “Told to.”

I glared at him for a few more seconds before closing my eyes and sighing explosively. Pushing myself up into a seated position, I glanced around the area I suddenly found myself in. The enclosure was quiet, the faint sound of birdsong off in the distance the only sound. The grass was long, nearly coming up to my chest as I sat there. Cherry trees, all of which were in bloom, lined a dirt pathway which ran through the grass a few meters away. A white bench rested beside the path, the paint beginning to chip. In the corner where two walls met, a large pond glinted in the sunlight, dozens of lily pads covering its surface.

As I got to my feet, the other three humans dropped from the top of the wall, landing catlike in the grass.

“Where are we?” I asked nobody in particular as I adjusted my ponytail.

“No know,” the female said, moving to stand beside me. “Pony place. Can’t stay. Need to go.”

Where are we going?” I asked, glancing back at her.

“Den. You see. Come now,” she said, before beginning to push me along.

I resisted for a few seconds before groaning and allowing her to guide me forward. Tarzan moved to pick me up again, but froze as I pointed a finger at him.

“No,” I said, glaring at him. “Don’t touch me.” He bared his teeth, but backed off.

We had been walking for a few minutes when I suddenly caught sight of an estate through the trees. It was a tall, white building, nearly five stories high. It didn’t appear to be our destination, as it was still off in the distance, and we weren’t heading towards it. I was being lead around the building, towards the far wall of the fence.

As we walked, I kept casting glances at the other humans. They still had the same blank look all Equestrian humans wore, that much hadn’t changed. However, their eyes seemed to gleam more, darting back and forth as they took in as much detail as possible. One of the smaller males kept glancing over his shoulder, as if checking to make sure we weren’t being followed.

Or it could have been to make sure no ‘predators’ were sneaking up from behind, I thought, reminding myself that these creatures were more akin to animals than I was at the moment. But then that raised the question of when they started to get smarter. I paused for a second, my brow furrowing, before I continued walking. They were getting smarter, right? It wasn’t like they had been intelligent all along, right?

I suddenly froze, my eyes widening in alarm as the thought entered my head. They hadn’t been intelligent the whole time, could they have? I mean, if no one could understand them, could they have been somewhat smart this whole time and nobody knew? And if that’s the case, and these humans were really intelligent, then that meant…

A struggling body on top of me, blood pouring down my arm and body as I sunk the makeshift blade deeper into his neck.

The blade sunk into the human’s eye with a sickening sound, and he reared back, squealing loudly as crimson liquid poured from the ruined organ.

My fists pounded into the body beneath me, the crunch of breaking bones filling the air as I continued to smash away.

The girl squirmed beneath me, mouth opening and closing as she gasped pitifully for air. Her eyes glazed over slowly as I continued to choke the life from her.

Gagging, I barely managed to get to a nearby bush in time before I voided my stomach’s contents. Having had nothing to eat since the morning before, I dry heaved a couple of times before spewing a thick, disgusting bile into the green foliage. I tried to calm myself, but another flashback of my time in the fighting pit caused me to retch again, more bile flying into the bush.

Breathing heavily, I raised a shaky hand and wiped my lips clean. I closed my eyes, trying desperately to forget the feeling of skin tearing and bone breaking. It had been bad enough dealing with those memories believing that the humans I had killed had the mindset of an animal, but if they had actually been intelligent at the time…

I retched again, more bile dribbling from my lips.

A chirp came from my left and I felt a hand placed on my shoulder. Glancing around, I saw the female human, Jane, giving me what appeared to be a concerned look.

“Pain, yes?” she asked.

“Yes,” I groaned, resting in a crouch with my hands on my knees. After a few seconds, and I sighed and shook my head. “Well, no… I mean… It’s complicated.”

“Pain, no?” she asked, cocking her head to the side. “Hurt, yes?”

Staring at the ground, I shook my head before tapping it.

“Pain here,” I said before shaking my head again, “but I’m not hurt. I have some… bad memories that I would like to forget. Just give me a sec.”

“Bad ghosts,” she said sadly, nodding her head. She placed a hand on my cheek, stroking it gently.

“More like wraiths,” I grunted. Taking a deep breath, I spat into the bush before straightening up. My arms were shaky, my legs were jittery, and I really, really needed Twilight at the moment.

Glancing over at the female, I swallowed thickly—wincing at the horrible acid taste in my mouth—before asking, “Is there anyway I could convince you to take me back to the palace?” At her confused look, I pointed back the way we came.

“No,” she said, shaking her head. She pointed in the direction we were headed. “Den.”

“I figured as much,” I groaned. “And if I refuse to go?”

Tarzan suddenly shifted behind me, pulling his lips back in a silent snarl.

“Alright, alright, I get it,” I sighed. “Let’s get moving then.”

The humans immediately started moving again, herding me along the dirt path. The two nameless males led the way, while Tarzan brought up the rear. Jane seemed to stick close to my side, double-checking on me ever couple of feet. As we walked, I clenched and unclenched my hands, trying to stop them from trembling.

We were rounding a bend in the path when the two humans in front suddenly froze, their bodies going stiff. One of them started backing up, shaking his head.

“Not there,” he muttered, fidgeting. “Not there, not safe.” This caused both Tarzan and Jane to become agitated as well.

With a large hedge in the way, I couldn’t see what it was that had startled them. I tried to move forward to see, but was stopped by Jane.

“No, no, no,” she whimpered, placing a hand on my chest and pushing me back. “Don’t go. Not safe!”

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m just gonna look,” I said. Knocking her hand aside, I ignored her whimpers and stepped around the hedge, glancing curiously down the path. Hedges bordered the path, with blooming cherry trees growing behind them. Several dozen meters away, a small garden fountain trickled away. There was another path on the other side of the fountain, disappearing into the distance.

At first, I was unsure about what had spooked them, as the path appeared to be deserted. However, upon closer examination, I saw a pony in a wheelchair parked beside a bench in a small hollow within the hedge, right beneath a cherry tree.

I stared at the pony for a few seconds before glancing over my shoulder at the shivering humans.

“Seriously? That’s what scared you?” I asked incredulously, pointing at the pony.

“Not safe. Must go,” one of them hissed, eyes darting between me and the half-hidden pony.

Rolling my eyes, I turned and marched down the path towards the pony, causing the humans to yelp in alarm. Ignoring them, I approached the pony, I tilted my head to the side as I tried to get a better look at them. From the body structure, it appeared that they were a mare. She was sitting with her head bowed, her mane hanging in front of her face. A baggy white shirt covered her upper body, straps hanging uselessly from the sleeves. As I drew nearer, I could see a horn sticking out of her hair.

My eyes narrowed. Those colors… it couldn’t be...

“Lyra?” I asked aloud. At the sound of my voice, the mare’s ears perked and she raised her head. A familiar—if somewhat unfriendly—pair of golden eyes stared back at me, the mismatched pupils shrinking slightly. Seeing that I had been correct, I laughed softly to myself as I straightened up.

“Well, if you’re here,” I said to myself with a chuckle, “I can only assume that the building up on the hill is an insane asylum. Where else would they put a nut like you?”

“Mental hospital,” she said, her expression blank, hooded eyes glazed over slightly as she looked up at me with a small frown.

I froze, my eyes widening as I stared down at her. “What?”

“They don’t like it when you call it an insane asylum,” she said before rolling her eyes. “They think it’ll… upset the patients, so they use mental hospital instead. It makes them feel better, like they can actually cure the individuals dumped here. The patients don’t care. They’re too busy being insane to care what you call the place. Personally, I prefer ‘insane asylum’. It’s much more accurate. A place to stow the insane.”

I continued to stare down at her, mouth opening and closing wordlessly as I tried to process what I was hearing. Lyra just watched me, a bemused look on her face.

Eventually I found my voice.

“You can understand me?!” I practically shouted. “I-I can understand you?!”

“You certainly are more talkative than the last time we met,” she grumbled, ears pressing against her head.

“But… but… you can understand me?” I stammered, my mind reeling.

“Yes, I can,” Lyra said dully. “I think we’ve been over this before, no? I can understand you and your friends over there.” She motioned with a hoof towards the other humans, who were timidly poking their heads around the hedge, fearful looks on their faces.

I stare at her blankly for a few seconds before my eyes widened and I inhaled sharply.

“‘I can hear them singing’,” I breathed. “‘Their song burns my soul and sets my resolve ablaze’.”

Lyra’s eyes widened as well, and she gave me an incredulous look before grimacing and holding her head in her hooves.

“Oh dear Celestia,” she groaned. “You’re just now getting that? We’re all doomed.”

“Well, you weren’t exactly making a whole lot of sense when you screamed it in my face,” I huffed, glaring at her. “You could understand humans the entire time?” I motioned over my shoulder towards my escort. “You could understand them this entire time?!”

“The entire time?” Lyra asked, massaging her temple. “No. I’ve only been able to understand them since they’ve started talking, idiot. It’s hard to understand somepony when there is nothing to be said.”

“‘Since they’ve started talking’?” I repeated, my brow furrowing. Does that mean that they weren’t originally intelligent creatures?

Lyra nodded. “Yes, they used to be much more quiet. However, they’re becoming a lot more talkative. When it first started, they only knew a few words. You have no idea how aggravating it is to listen to a human chirp ‘grass’ for eight hours straight.” She groaned, rubbing her temples again. “Grass, grass, grass, grass, grass.”

“So, you knew that humans were intelligent?” I asked, “or were becoming intelligent,” I added a few seconds later.

“So it would seem,” Lyra growled, covering an eye with her hoof and leaning on the arm of her wheelchair.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone then?!” I asked, throwing my hands up in frustration.

Lyra’s head snapped up and she gaped at me for a few seconds before her expression morphed into a snarl.

“You think I haven’t?” she hissed. “You think I’ve been mute about this whole thing? How the buck do you think I ended up here?!” She motioned around her, pointing up towards the building, just barely visible through the foliage of the trees. “Of course I told ponies, you twit. I told them, and I told them, and I told them until I was blue in the face, and their only response was to roll their eyes and laugh. ‘Oh, there goes human-obsessed Lyra again, ranting and raving about the impossible’. Bon-Bon broke up with me because of my ‘obsession’. And despite all of that, I continued to try and get ponies to listen… and they ended up locking me up and trying to ‘help’ me with my ‘mental issues’.

“‘Why didn’t you tell anyone then?’,” she snarked, leaning back in the wheelchair and glaring at me. “Truly, you are the Oblivious King.”

“Alright, alright, I get it,” I grumbled, rubbing the back of my head. An uncomfortable silence fell around us, Lyra glaring at me while I couldn’t meet her eye.

After a few long seconds, I coughed lightly.

“Um, h-how… How did this happen exactly?” I asked.

“How did what happen?” Lyra huffed.

“The whole ‘understanding humans’ thing,” I said, motioning between me and her. “So far, you’re the only one who can understand me, so it can’t be natural.”

“It’s not,” Lyra sighed, her glare softening. Her eyes slowly drifted upwards, watching the cherry blossoms drifting softly on the breeze. “It’s also a long story, too.”

“I don’t think I have anywhere else to be,” I said slowly, glancing over my shoulder at the other humans. They were still hiding mostly behind the hedge, eyeing me and Lyra nervously.

“Well,” Lyra said, drawing out the word, “I guess if you really want to know, then I have nothing better to do. I’m already hiding from my personal attendant…” Her eyes flicked over to me for a brief second before she closed them and sighed. “Alright, I’ll tell you.”

As she got comfortable in the wheelchair, I took a seat on the bench beside her. She shifted left and right before snuggling down into the cushion, pulling the shirt tighter around herself. Silence hung in the air as she collected her thoughts, her eyes closed.

After nearly a minute of quiet, she opened her eyes and looked up, a faraway look crossing her face. She took a deep breath before beginning to speak. Her voice was soft, the usual bite to it absent as she began her tale.

“All this madness, my life falling apart around me, my ‘insanity’. It all started at the town of Sandpoint.”

Author's Notes:

I like to think that Max was speaking the Equestrian human language the entire time, he just couldn't understand it. That means that every time he growled or yelped, he was shouting out random words like "toaster" or "tax returns".