Life returned to normal when Twilight and I returned to Ponyville, or at least as normal as you can get in Equestria. Twilight was overjoyed with the fact that I had decided to stay in Equestria and attempted to find some way to reward me. This lead to her doing everything from cooking me more meat (I never did ask her where she was getting it), to her offering to buy me anything I wanted. I told her, however, that I hadn’t stayed to be rewarded. Rather, I stayed because I wanted to.

When Twilight’s friends had learned about what had transpired, they were peeved that I had almost left without saying goodbye, but were also happy that I had decided to stay even if they didn’t understand the true reason for why I was staying. I think it had mostly to do with the fact that Twilight was happy whenever I was around.

Pinkie Pie wanted to throw a party for me, saying that she had yet to throw me one and I had been in Ponyville for six months now. “That’s like a record!” she had proclaimed, her eyes wide. “I’ve always thrown parties for new ponies, but you haven’t had one yet! That’s horrible!” We had managed to convince her to keep the party to just the six of them, Spike, and me; just a small one at Twilight’s library. I don’t know why she was so intent on inviting almost everyone in Ponyville.

The only pony that was more excited than Twilight about me staying was Rainbow Dash; her eyes lit up when she heard the news. That, combined with how she was behaving at the hospital, had caused me to become quite concerned. Fortunately, she didn’t try anything. At least, not yet.

Two weeks passed by without major incident, thankfully. My recovery went well as the days passed, my injuries healing quickly as I took it easy. My leg had healed up nicely, and my limp was barely noticeable anymore. In fact, I could walk and run just fine. Needless to say, I had a couple of new scars from my encounters. Namely, a huge cut across my face leading to my blind eye, a large scar across my chest, and one on the palm of my hand.

A couple of days after we returned to Ponyville, I finally sat down and penned out a letter for the princesses to send home. In it, I wrote to my family, telling them that I was alive, and happy, and not to worry about me. I tried to explain my situation in such a way that I wouldn’t appear crazy, although I’m not sure if they would believe that I’m living with alien ponies. That is, if they get this letter at all.

When I finally had the letter written, and my parents’ address on the front, I had Twilight send the letter to the princesses. Several hours later they sent a message saying that they had sent my letter through to my old world. Apparently, where it had been sent was very cold, as some snow had blown in from the portal during the brief time it was open. I’m not sure where the letter was sent, but the mention of snow renewed my belief that I had made the right decision.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders visited me constantly during my recovery, trying to make sure that I didn’t need help or require any assistance, although I think their sisters put them up to it to make up for the fact that they had nearly gotten me killed. Or maybe it was so they could get their “human helper” cutie marks.

Either way, most of the time they weren’t much of a help, but I enjoyed their company nonetheless. Sweetie Belle had even warmed up to me, and a majority of the Crusaders' visits had her either sitting in my lap, or perched on top of my head; she called it her 'safe spot'. Whenever Rarity would come over to pick her sister up, she would smile when she saw Sweetie upon her perch.

Another thing that changed was the way Twilight and I acted in public. We didn’t go out of our way to show that I was intelligent, but we also didn’t hide the fact I was anymore. I was still hesitant to reveal myself, although I could never really explain to Twilight why that was. Not many ponies noticed, however, and if they did, they didn’t say anything. They would just give us a weird look, then continue on with their day. Personally, I think that most of the ponies of Ponyville had come to expect weird stuff from their local princess. Not exactly what I was expecting to happen, but not unwelcome.

It was when those two weeks were over, and I was able to actually walk around without feeling stiff or uncomfortable, that I remembered what Rarity had offered when she visited me in the hospital.

Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to stay here, I thought, peeking around the corner of one of the buildings in the marketplace, breathing heavily. I looked around at the crowd of ponies who were going on with their day. None of them looked at me, but that was okay; I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. I needed a place to hide and recuperate, after all.

I scanned the crowd, looking for the pony that had been tailing me, but couldn’t see her in the crowd. Nor above the crowd, as the case may be. It was a cloudless day, so she didn’t have any cover to hide behind. The fact that I couldn’t see her was both good and bad: good because it meant that I had a chance to catch my breath, and bad because I had no clue where she was.

When I had left the library to head over to the Carousel Boutique and meet with Rarity, I hadn’t taken five steps outside before I was sideswiped by a rainbow blur. When I had managed to stagger back to my feet, I had found Rainbow Dash standing there, a massive smirk on her face.

“You’ve been lying around too much, lazybones,” she had informed me, taking a step forward in my direction. “It’s time to get you back in shape again. Don’t worry; I’m the perfect mare for the job! You’ll be back to your old self in no time.” That was all the warning I had before she lunged at me, her wings spread wide. I had managed to free myself after a brief scuffle and had immediately made a mad dash for the marketplace, hoping to get to Rarity’s store and the safety it would provide.

Now, here I was, a few blocks from it, trying to spot Rainbow so I could avoid her. As I scanned the crowd again, I couldn’t help but smile. I was actually enjoying myself a little; it was like a game of hide-and-seek and tag combined, except my opponent was wicked fast and could fly. One last look and I figured I was good to go.

Stepping around the corner, I started to head towards the Boutique, only to freeze when someone spoke up beside me. “So, whatcha lookin' for, big guy?”

I slowly turned my head to the right, only to find Rainbow hovering there, a triumphant smirk plastered upon her face. “Thought you could get away from me?” We stared at each other for several seconds, neither of us moving a muscle. Then, as one, our bodies moved.

Rainbow dove, forelegs outstretched as she attempted to grab hold of me. I ducked underneath her, placing my hand on the ground to steady myself as my center of gravity shifted. My hair blew back as Rainbow flew over my head, missing me by inches, her tail brushing the top of my head as she passed.

Standing back up, I shot off into the marketplace, weaving through the crowd of ponies as I attempted to avoid my attacker.

“Oh no you don’t!” A shout behind me told me that Rainbow had already recovered and was already hot on my heels. Not wanting to look behind me to see how close she was, I instead decided to dive for another piece of cover.

“What in tarnation?” Applejack yelped as I dove behind her stand. She looked down at me as I laid there, a confused expression on her face. That was, until a rainbow blur shot by over head, nearly taking her hat off. Realization dawned on her face as she watched Rainbow bank around, coming in for another pass.

“Sorry, partner,” she said, a mischievous smile on her face. “She’s been talkin’ about this for a while now, and Ah have tah agree with Rainbow; you need tah get back into shape. You’ve been lazing around too much lately.” I looked from Applejack down to my stomach, a small frown on my face as I poked it. It was true that I had gained some weight while I was recovering, due to not being as active as before, but I wouldn’t say that it was that noticeable. I swear, these ponies could notice the most random things sometimes. Someone has a bad poker face while lying, nobody notices. I gain a couple of pounds, it’s the talk of the town. What the fuck?

As Rainbow streaked by for a second time, I pulled my notebook and charcoal out of the remains of my bag. Flipping to a fresh page, I scratched out a quick message, tore it out of the notebook, and handed it to Applejack.

+I was recovering from my injuries+ Applejack looked at the note, holding onto her hat as Rainbow passed by a third time. Smiling, she lowered the paper and shook her head.

“Sorry, sugarcube,” she said. “But you’re right as rain now, and it’s time tah work off that extra weight.” My eyes narrowed as I glared up at the mare. Why are they so interested in me losing weight? Still glaring at Applejack, I quickly scribbled out another note.

+Are you calling me fat?+ Applejack’s eyes opened wide and she backpedaled slightly.

“N-no, Ah was j-just—” I didn’t give her a chance to explain. Reaching over, I wrapped my hands around her barrel, causing her to yelp slightly. Picking her up with a grunt, I lifted her above my head…

…right into the path of Rainbow Dash, who was making her fourth pass over the apple cart. Unable to stop or change directions fast enough, Rainbow plowed into Applejack, knocking them both over the cart and onto the ground. Ponies were giving them weird looks as they lay there in a heap. Ignoring the stares, I leapt over the cart, as well as the pile of groaning ponies.

“Ow, what hit me?” Rainbow asked as I ran by, her eyes rolling in her head comically. I ignored her, choosing instead to make a beeline for the Carousel Boutique. Reaching the door, I flung it open and threw myself inside. Turning, I caught a brief glimpse of Applejack and Rainbow trying to extract themselves from each other, before I closed the door and locked it.

Smirking, I turned around to find Rarity looking at me in alarm and confusion.

“Darling, what’s going on?” she asked, eyeing me cautiously. My smile just grew as I held up a few stands of rainbow colored hair. “Ah, I see.” Her eyes sparkled as she returned my smile. My eyes narrowed and the smirk left my face. So, she’s in on it too.

“She caught you leaving the library, didn’t she?” Rarity asked as she waved for me to enter. I nodded as I slipped my ragged bag off. Placing it on the floor, I took a couple of steps further into the room. “Well good for her for trying to get you back into shape.” I glared at her as I opened my notebook again and pointed at the message I had previously written for Applejack.

+Are you calling me fat?+

“Oh, goodness, no. I would never be so uncouth,” she said, waving her hoof airily at me. “It’s just that you have put on some extra weight during your recovery. I know it’s not your fault, darling,” she added as she saw my eyes narrow further, “but you should really work it off before the Gala.” At that, she looked at me expectantly, as if that word was supposed to mean something to me. I just stared back at her with a blank expression.

“The Grand Galloping Gala?” she asked, cocking her head to the side. I slowly shook my head, keeping my expression neutral. I seriously had no idea what she was talking about.

“The big celebration in Canterlot that is happening in several weeks? We’re normally invited by Princess Celestia, but this year Twilight was able to get us all tickets instead. If you want to look your best at the Gala, you’ll have to work off those extra pounds, darling.” As Rarity talked, I just stared at her, an eyebrow slowly rising. She continued to talk on about how wonderful the Gala was for several more minutes before she realized I was staring at her with a look of amusement.

“What?” she asked, blinking up at me. Still smiling, I flipped my notebook back open.

+I don’t think that I will be attending the Gala, Rarity, because I’m a human+

“I fail to see the problem,” she said, rereading the message again. Rolling my eyes, I underlined the word ‘human’ several times. She snorted at this.

“Is that the problem? Darling, nobility is allowed to bring one human with them to the Gala if they wish as long as that human behaves, and since Twilight is royalty I know that she will insist that you come along with her.”

+How do you know?+

“She’s already asked me to make you a nice set of clothing for it,” Rarity said with a smirk, “And I know that you’ll want to look good for Twilight, won’t you?”

+I don’t know what you’re talking about+ I felt my cheeks redden slightly, but I was able to keep a straight face. Months of having to have a poker face in public helped immensely.

“Oh, come now,” Rarity said, smirking up at me. “I’ve seen how Twilight looks at you. Ever since you decided to stay in Equestria with her, she can’t keep her eyes off of you. Whenever you two are in the same room together she’s always looking at you with a smile on her face.” Crossing my arms, I turned my head and huffed. Great, now my friends are trying to set me up with my owner. I know interspecies relationships aren’t a big thing here, but I… I’m not sure if that would work between Twilight and me.

Rarity just rolled her eyes at me as I mused, a smile on her face.

“Deny it all you want, dear,” she said. “Anyways, come come. We have work to do.” Turning, she trotted over to a raised platform surrounded by mirrors. Picking up a long measuring tape with her magic, she looked over at me.

“Strip out of those… things, and I’ll get your measurements.” I glanced down at my 'clothes'. They were the same ones that Rarity had made for me my first day in Ponyville. I had cleaned them almost on a daily basis, since they were my only clothing. Hell, there were even days when I was just staying at the library that I didn’t wear them at all. I don’t know if it was a good thing or not that I no longer cared if I was naked, although I had caught Twilight staring a couple of times. That always made it awkward. Seriously, it’s not like she hasn’t seen another naked human before. They wander around Ponyville with their owners, after all.

As I studied them, however, I could see that they were on their last leg. They were ragged and worn, with holes scattered across the rough fabric. There were also several large slashes ripped into the shirt from my fights in the pit. Luckily, I had managed to wash the blood out. The lower back of the shirt was torn to shreds, courtesy of the manticores. The pants were in no better condition. The whole outfit looked like it had been through Hell and back. I guess I hadn’t realized the condition they were in, I thought as I stuck a finger through a random hole in my sleeve. I looked like a homeless guy, or maybe a caveman.

With Rarity still watching, I pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it on top of my bags, exposing the large scar across my chest. I had just moved to remove the pants as well, when I cast a glance over at Rarity, frowning slightly. I paused what I was doing as I looked at her, before reaching for my notebook.

+No staring+ As I slid the notebook across the floor at her, I proceeded to remove my pants as well.

“Come now, darling,” she said as she read the note. “I may be a mare, but I know how to act like a lady as well—” Her voice died instantly as she looked up, her eyes locking onto the thing between my legs. Her face turned bright red, and her mouth dropped open slightly, her eyes widening. Facepalming, I groaned in annoyance.

I don’t know why this always happened. Other Equestrian humans were typically naked, and to satisfy my morbid curiosity—against my better judgment—I had gotten a good look at other human male genitalia. While it was true that I was typically bigger than most, I wouldn’t say that it was that noticeable. Apparently I was wrong. Goddamn it...

The sound of my groan seemed to snap Rarity back to reality. Shaking her head, she shot me a sheepish smile.

“Sorry, darling, but I wasn’t expecting—” her eyes flicked back down for a split second before returning to my face, “—well, I wasn’t expecting...” She didn’t finish the sentence. Instead, she just shook her head again, before turning. She motioned for me to step up onto the platform, a small smile on her face.

“Now, come. Let’s get you something better to wear.”

I exited the Carousel Boutique about an hour later. I had several new sets of clothing that Rarity had made for me, free of charge. I had offered to repay her anyway she wanted, but she said I had already given her enough by keeping Sweetie Belle safe and happy.

I had my old clothing on, as I didn’t want to ruin the new sets before I got back home, and with Rainbow still out for my blood that was a high possibility. So instead, I had the clothing in the new bags that Rarity had also made for me.

They were a pair of modified saddlebags. Instead of resting across the back of a pony, they were designed to wrap around my waist, each bag positioned on my hips. I had to give her credit, it was actually a clever design as it allowed me to reach a hand into the bag without having to take them off. It was like having two big pockets! The bags themselves were dyed black (she claimed it was dark purple, but it was clearly black), and had Twilight’s cutie mark emblazoned on both sides. The whole thing was rather comfortable, as the bags moved with me when I walked, instead of impeding my movement.

I had just finished adjusting the straps to the bags so that they wouldn’t fall off when someone coughed in front of me. Glancing up, I saw Rainbow stand several feet away, a smug expression on her face. I just stared back at her, a blank expression on my face. I really shouldn’t be surprised by this.

“I was wondering how long you were going to hide in there,” she said, lowering her head and spreading her wings. “I hope you’re ready for round two!” Slowly, I raised my hand up, palm facing away from her. Leaving it there for several seconds, I curled my fingers in several times, a smirk spreading across my face. Rainbow’s smile grew as a fire lit in her eyes.

My message was clear: bring it on!

Rainbow snapped her wings down, taking flight instantly as she lunged at me, hooves outstretched. She’s not a quick learner, is she? I thought as I ducked under her attack. She went sailing over my head and smashed into the closed door behind me. It burst open and she tumbled inside, causing Rarity to shriek.

Standing back up, I backed away from the open door, never taking my eyes off of it. After several seconds Rainbow shot out of the building, flying straight at me with a determined expression on her face. My eyes widened and I threw myself to the side, narrowly avoiding being tackled by the prismatic pegasus. Scrambling, I ran off down the street, Rainbow trailing behind me.

Sprinting hard, I dashed through the marketplace. Ponies dived out of my way, shouting at me as I sprinted past. The humans scattered around just tracked my movements, their eyes locked onto me. I ignored them all, trying to put as much distance between me and Rainbow as possible.

She chased me through the marketplace for several minutes, like a cat chasing a mouse. Skidding around a corner, I spotted Applejack back behind her cart, handing a customer a bag of apples. Smiling to myself, I made a beeline for her stand. A quick glance behind me confirmed that Rainbow was quickly closing the distance between us. Turning my attention back to the cowmare, I put on an extra burst of speed.

As I drew nearer, Applejack’s ear twitched, swiveling in my direction. She glanced up, looking around curiously. I saw her eyes widen and her pupils shrink when she saw me sprinting towards her.

“Ah, hay no,” she muttered, ears flat against her head, as I dove for her stand. Hitting the ground, I rolled under the cart, coming out on the other side. I immediately grabbed Applejack and stood up, just in time for Rainbow to fly over the cart and smash into Applejack for a second time.

As both mares hit the ground in a heap, for the second time that day, I pulled out my notebook. Scratching a quick note, I tore the page out and stuck it to Applejack’s forehead before making my escape, +That’s for calling me fat+

I had managed to make it halfway across the marketplace before something slammed into my back. Yelping, I felt a pair of hooves wrap around my shoulders before I was forced into the dirt. Luckily, I had managed to not bite down on my tongue, although I think I might have chipped a tooth. I’ll have Twilight look at that later, I thought as I lay there, eyes rolling in my head.

Reaching up quickly, I grabbed my assailant and with one quick pull removed her from my back. Rolling into a crouch position, I lifted Rainbow and flung her through an open window into Ponyville’s flower shop. There was a trio of screams, and someone shouted “The horror!” as a loud crash was heard inside. Smirking, I stood quickly and brushed myself off.

“Get back here, motherbucker!” Rainbow shouted as she leapt from the window. “I’m not done with you yet!” She dove for me again, but I quickly sidestepped, trying hard not to fall over. She lunged, and again I dodged. As I retreated some more, the back of my legs came in contact with the edge of the fountain. Rainbow smirked as she dove at me for a third time. Oh shit!

Reacting quickly, I ducked again, and Rainbow flew over me. There was a loud crunch behind me and I winced at the sound. A murmur went around the crowd of ponies watching us, all of them wincing as well.

“That’s another point for the human,” I heard a mare say. Rainbow and I fighting together had become such a common occurrence that the ponies of Ponyville had taken to keeping score. It was currently Rainbow: 113, Me: 123. Needless to say, Rainbow was not happy about that.

Standing up, I turned and saw that Rainbow had face planted into the fountain's statue. She groaned and fell backwards into the pool with a large splash.

I approached the pool tentatively, a little worried for my friend. I hope she didn’t hit it too hard, I thought as I looked into the water. My rippling reflection stared back at me for several seconds before Rainbow burst from the depths of the pool. Her mane clung to her face, the different colors mixing as the strands clung to her fur. One of her eyes was closed, a bruise already forming around it. Blood flowed from her nostrils, dripping down her muzzle and into the pool, where it slowly dissipated into a red mist. She glared at me, and I knew instantly that she was pissed.

Oh shit, was all I had time to think before her wings whipped open and she took to the air.

“OH, IT IS SO ON!” she yelled, diving towards me, her eyes alight with fury.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, I mentally chanted as I turned and raced down the road, Rainbow in hot pursuit. As I ran, I could feel her breathing down my back. For a second, I was reminded of the manticores before I was tackled for a second time.

I had a brief glimpse of the sky before an angry face appeared above me. Rainbow pushed her bloody nose into mine and growled, “You’re mine now, big guy.” Reaching up, I tried to push her off of me, but she dug her hooves into my side, snarling as she clung to me. Lifting a hoof up, she threw a punch at my face. Before it could connect, however, I quickly rolled to the side, taking her along with me.

She yelped as I rolled on top of her, and pinned her to the ground with my knees. I tried my hardest to ignore the position we were in: me on top with her spread eagle beneath me, her forelegs around my neck.

Using knowledge I had gained from reading the books in Twilight’s library, I slipped my hands underneath her and searched for the place where her wings met her back. Once I located it, I pushed two fingers into the flesh, causing her eyes to widen, her cheeks to darken, and her wings to immediately stiffen by her sides. Her grip on me loosened and I managed to tear myself from her grasp.

Before she could react further, I straightened up and dashed into the nearest building, which happened to be Sugarcube Corner. I burst through the door, startling Mrs. Cake who was behind the counter. Ignoring her gaze, I leapt over the counter and scurried into the kitchen. As I had hoped, Pinkie was inside, baking up a storm. Her eyes lit up as she saw me enter.

“Hiya, Maxie! What brings you in today?” she said, a huge smile on her face. Ducking down behind one of the counters, I glanced over it, back towards the main room. No sign of Dash. I have to figure out how to end this quickly; it’s getting out of control! I thought before turning back to Pinkie, a thoughtful look on my face. I need something to keep her tied up…

Pulling my notebook out of my new bags, I flipped it open. Keeping my eye on the entrance to the kitchen, I quickly scratched out a message.

+Hi, Pinkie. Listen, you don’t happen to have any rope around here, do you?+ She eyed my note as she removed a tray of muffins from the oven. Tilting her head to the side as she placed the tray onto a hot pad, she looked at me curiously.

“Why do you need rope?” she asked. I didn’t have any time to reply before a loud crack echoed in from the other room, followed by the sound of screams. Through all the chaos, I could hear Rainbow’s voice, loud and clear.

“WHERE THE BUCK IS HE?!” Pinkie’s eyes went wide and the smile fell from her face. She gave me a knowing look as Rainbow continued to shout.

“Oh, that’s why,” she said, as more screaming came from the other room. Her ears swiveled around to point at the kitchen door. “Wow, it sure sounds like you’ve made her mad.” I just rolled my eyes, causing the party pony to laugh.

Bouncing over to a random cupboard, she reached in and pulled out a coil of rope out of a pan. Hopping back over to me with the rope in her mouth, she deposited it into my hands with a giggle.

“Here you go,” she said as she went back to her cooking. “Have fun!” I looked back and forth between the rope and Pinkie, confused. Why the hell does she keep rope in the kitchen? I was expecting it to be in the shed or something.

I didn’t have much time to wonder about it, as Rainbow appeared in the doorway a few seconds later. I quickly dove back behind the counter, praying she didn’t see me. With rope in hand, a plan was slowly forming in my hand. Pulling out my notebook again, I scratched out a quick message, before tearing it out of my notebook as quietly as I could, and sticking it in my bag.

“Hey, Pinkie,” Rainbow’s said as she approached the counter I was hidden behind. “Have you seen Max at all today?” I glanced up at the pink mare. From where I was hiding, she could easily see me. Her eyes quickly flicked over to me before she looked back in Rainbow’s direction.

“Of course I have, Dashie,” she said cheerfully. I shook my head, silently pleading with her to shut up. She wouldn’t turn me in, would she? Her smile just grew as she continued to look at Rainbow.

“Great,” Dash growled, clearly pissed. “Where is he?” Again, Pinkie’s eyes darted over in my direction. I shook my head again, praying that she wouldn’t be so cruel. There’s no way she would be that cruel, right?

“Dashie, you silly filly,” Pinkie said, her smile insanely huge as she pointed a hoof in my direction. “He’s right there.” She would… The sound of hooves on the countertop above me caused my eyes to slowly drift up. A pair of rose colored eyes stared back at me, a victorious smirk on Rainbow’s face.

“Why, hello there, big guy,” she cooed. We stayed that way for several seconds, both staring into the other one’s eyes. She had a black eye forming around her right eye, the lid already starting to swell shut.

As I stared up at her, her smirk grew. Then, without warning, Rainbow struck. Diving off of the countertop, she let out a cry of victory as she descended upon me. I rolled to the side, her hooves missing me and striking the wooden floor. Standing up, I wrote Pinkie a quick note and handed it to her before I ran back into the main room, +You, madam, are a terrible pony and you should feel terrible about what you just did+ Her laughter followed me as I ran.

Mrs. Cake yelped again as I jumped over her back, heading for the door. The sound of wings behind me told me that Rainbow was in pursuit again. Slipping my notebook back into the saddlebags, I wrenched open the front door, causing the bell above it to ring. Rushing outside, I turned and shut the door right as Rainbow reached it. Her wings flared as she tried to slow down, but she was unable to do so in time and her face impacted the glass of the door. As we looked at each other, each on the other side of the glass, I couldn’t help but smirk at the sight of her with her face smashed against the glass. Sticking my tongue out, I shot her the bird before turning and walking away.

Uncoiling the rope that Pinkie gave me as I walked, I kept my ears perked for any noise coming from behind me. There was no way that Rainbow was going to let that insult pass, and I was going to be ready when she showed up. Sure enough, after several minutes, the sound of wing beats growing closer reached my ears. I just kept walking, trying to figure out how close she was just by the sound of her wings. When I estimated that she was right on top of me, I acted.

Spinning around, I braced for impact as Rainbow bored down at me. She slammed into me, knocking the wind out of my lungs as I flew backwards. Landing on my back, I winced as her hooves dug into my chest. Rolling with the tackle, I flipped us over so that she was once again on the bottom of the pile. Grasping the rope tight in my hands, I quickly began my work.

Grabbing her forelegs, I bound them together, making sure that she couldn’t move them. Next was her hind legs, which were more difficult, as she was bucking like crazy. Once I had them secured, I moved onto her wings, tying them to her sides. Several seconds after the fight had started, I was standing over a thoroughly bound Rainbow Dash.

“W-what the buck?” she growled, wriggling around on the ground. “What do you think you’re doing? This is so not cool! You better untie me now, or else!” Ignoring her threats, I stretched, my back popping several times as I worked out the kinks. Once that was done, I walked over to Rainbow. Reaching down, I grabbed her bound forelegs and lifted her up, over my shoulders. Holding on to her back legs, I positioned her more comfortably.

“H-hey, what’s going on?” She asked as I started to walk down the road. “Where the buck are you taking me?” Given the position I was in, I had no way to tell her; not that I was going to, anyways. As I made my way through the marketplace, everyone was staring at me. Or was it Rainbow they were looking at? I wasn’t too sure.

Spotting Applejack packing up her stall for the day, I turned and made my way towards her. She looked up as I neared, her eyes widening and jaw dropping when she saw Rainbow draped over my shoulder. Reaching the cart, I pulled out my notebook and placed it on the flat surface. Flipping it open with my free hand, I scratched out a message, tore out the page and handed it to Applejack, +I’m not fat+

She read the note quickly, before looking back up at me, stunned. I packed up my notebook, adjusted Rainbow, and continued on my way. As I walked, Rainbow fidgeted against the rope, struggling to get free. Unfortunately for her, I was a Boy Scout and knew my knots, having had them drilled into my head by my scoutmaster. Ponies continued to stare at us as we headed out of the marketplace. Out of the corner of my eye I saw several ponies passing each other bits as they watched us walk by.

I passed by a guard and she gave me a questioning look. I just rolled my eyes and continued on my way.

As I walked, I began to notice that Rainbow’s tail was twitching slightly every so often, with increasing frequency. I wasn’t too sure what that meant, but figured it was probably just a sign that she was embarrassed, as Twilight’s tail did the same thing whenever she saw me walking around naked.

Eventually, the library came into view and I made my way towards it. As we drew nearer to the library, Rainbow’s struggling increased.

“C-come on dude,” she whined, her voice sounding strained. “This isn’t funny anymore.” Reaching up with my free hand, I patted her back, smirking to myself. Her tail twitched every time that my hand touched her, and she moaned softly. Victory, thy name is Max.

Reaching the library’s door, I readjusted Rainbow one last time before reaching up and knocking.

“Coming,” came Twilight’s muffled voice from somewhere within the tree. The sound of hooves on wood grew louder before the front door swung open, revealing a smiling Twilight. When she saw me standing there, her smile grew, that is until she saw what I had on my shoulder.

“Um, why is Rainbow Dash tied up?” she asked, cocking her head to the side as she looked between Dash’s flank and me in confusion. Reaching into my saddle bags, I pulled out the note I had written back at Sugarcube Corner. Lifting Rainbow up, I quickly stuck the note to her chest before flipping her around. Turning her so she was facing Twilight, I slipped my hands into her armpits and held her out to my owner, much like one would do with a cat.

Twilight’s confused look grew as she leaned in to read the note. The confusion was slowly replaced with amusement as she finished reading.

“I don’t know,” she said, stepping back and placing a hoof on her chin. “That’s a lot of responsibility. Are you sure you’re up for it?” I repressed my laughter, as Rainbow began to squirm in my hands.

“W-what’s a lot of responsibility? What’s going on, Twi? What does the note say?” she asked, her voice fearful. Twilight’s horn flashed and she levitated the note off of Rainbow, hovering it over to her face. Clearing her throat, Twilight held up the note and read.

“It says ‘I was out walking through the market today when she appeared beside me. I tried to lose her, but she continued to bug me all day. It got me thinking: all of you have pets of your own, but I don’t. This one seems pretty loyal, so I was wondering: since she followed me home, can I keep her? I’ll take good care of her, and we can call her ‘Skittles’.’” Even though I couldn’t see her face, I could tell Rainbow was blushing; her ears were turning red.

As she sputtered in my arms, Twilight and I looked at each other for a brief second, before we both burst out laughing.

“Y-yeah, yeah,” Rainbow huffed. “If we’re done laughing at me, can somepony untie me, p-please?” Turning her around slightly, I placed my leg under her flank and began untying her legs. As the ropes fell away, I lowered her onto the ground. Rainbow stood there, legs splayed, as she flexed her wings. Satisfied that they were fine, she shook her legs, and glared up at me. I just smirked at her, raising an eyebrow.

She continued glaring at me for several seconds before a grin spread across her face.

“Okay, I'll admit that was a pretty good prank,” she chuckled. Flapping her wings, she took the the air. Floating over to me, she got in my face, a determined glint in her eyes. “But don't think that I’ll be going easy on you the next time we tussle.” Turning, she flew off, but stopped after several feet. Glancing back at me, she chewed on her bottom lip. Her back legs squeezed together slightly as she silently debated something in her head. My eyes narrowed as she turned and flew back towards me.

Flying up to me again, she stared into my face for several seconds before she leaned in and nuzzled my cheek.

“Thanks for the fun day, big guy,” she said softly before turning, a blush on her face, and zooming off into the sky. As Twilight watched her go, she leaned towards me.

“What was that all about?” she asked, as we watched the rainbow blur slowly disappear into the distance. I just shrugged my shoulders, an amused expression on my face.

“Well, if you’re done fooling around for the day,” Twilight said, looking up at me and smiling. “Dinner is about ready.” Turning, she trotted into the library. I shot one last glance at where Rainbow had flown off to, before turning and following Twilight into our home. Before I entered, I looked down and saw that some of Rainbow’s feathers had fallen out. Reaching down, I picked a few up. I’ll give these to Scootaloo tomorrow, I thought, smirking slightly. It’ll make for an interesting story. I wonder how she will feel when she hears Rainbow lost to a human. Chuckling, I walked into the library, closing the door behind me.