The storm continued long into the night, the library shuddering as thunder rumbled across the sky. They say you should avoid trees during a thunderstorm, but here I was, inside of one. Twilight is an intelligent mare. Shouldn’t she know this?

The mare in question had retired for the night several hours ago, sleeping soundly in her bed despite the noise being generated by the storm. Fluttershy, due to the storm trapping her in the library with us, was sleeping in Twilight’s room with her, using the fold-out guest bed. Somehow the scared pegasus had also managed to fall asleep. Well, I thought she was asleep. Her whimpering had stopped over half-an-hour ago.

I, however, was wide awake. The sweet embrace of sleep eluded me as I laid there on the couch, staring into the fireplace. Twilight had started a fire before heading to bed, trying to fight off the chill of the night. It had died down slightly since then, but it was still crackling merrily away, filling the room with warmth. The heat was lost on me, though. I just watched the flames dance, unconsciously fidgeting with my hands.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to fall asleep. It was quite the opposite, actually. I was exhausted from the simple chore of walking home. Getting the stuffing beat out of me, dying and being brought back several times, and over a week spent in the hospital had weakened my body. The simple walk home had taken a lot out of me, and I would have liked nothing more than to pass out. However, every time I closed my eye, I found myself back in the pit, the other humans slowly surrounding me.

An extra loud pop from fire made me flinch, my eye darting around the room, searching the dancing shadows for any signs of movement. After several tense seconds where nothing happened, I slowly began to relax. I silently cursed at myself; I knew I was being paranoid, but I couldn’t help but fear that something bad was going to happen again. Sitting up slowly, I rubbed my face with my hands, trying to calm my nerves. Growing restless, I wrapped my blanket around my shoulders and stood up. Letting out a frustrated sigh, I wandered to the stairs and down into the library’s main room.

The light from the fire spilled down the stairs, providing me with enough illumination to see. As I limped slowly around the room to work the kink out of my leg, my gaze fell upon Twilight’s desk. Its wooden surface was completely buried under a mountain of books. No, seriously; it looked like the library had thrown up all over her desk. There was no exposed surface left. Approaching the pile, I noticed that most of the books dealt with mass teleportation, trans-dimensional theory, and magical transportation. She’s still trying to figure out a way to send me home. My hand slowly crept up to cover my mouth as I stared down at the books, my brow furrowed.

I have to admit, it would be nice to return home, back to the simplicity and normality. Back to the world where everything made sense; a world where I wasn’t treated like an animal by everyone except for a handful of individuals. The question was, could I? Should I? I was sure that my friends and family were worried sick when I first vanished. Heck, with the way I disappeared, my managers probably thought that I had walked off on the job. I wondered how long it took them to realize that I was missing. How long was it before they started looking?

I had been in Equestria for just over five months now, though. Assuming that time was moving at the same pace back home, were they still looking for me, or had I been pronounced dead? Had my family decided to move on with their lives, or were they still hoping that I would turn up eventually, alive and well? I remembered cases where the parents had waited years, hoping that their missing child would be found. Were my parents still waiting for me, or had they decided that it would be better to move on? If I returned home, would they be happy to see me, or would my reappearance simply bring up painful memories of loss?

Unfortunately, that wasn’t all that was on my mind either. There were so many questions running through my brain that were about returning home. Would I be able to talk again upon returning home, or would I remain mute due to some unknown reason? Would I remember everything that happened here in Equestria, or would the past 5 months just be a blank slate? Would I be able to return to my old life, or would what I’ve experienced in Equestria prevent that from happening? Would the government find out about what had happened and come after me, or would I be put into an insane asylum?

What would happen to Twilight after I left? Or Sunny? Would they be able to return to their lives after I left? I groaned softly, rubbing my temples with my fingers. Too many thoughts were pulsing through the corridors of my mind. Should I stay, or should I go?

A loud clap of thunder snapped me out of my thoughts, causing me to jump several feet into the air. Yelping loudly, I landed on my bad leg. Pain exploded up my leg and I crumpled to the ground, crying out. I pulled the blanket over my head quickly, closing my eye tight as I waited for the incoming attack. When nothing happened, I slowly lowered the blanket, my eye darting around the room. I could see nothing out of the ordinary, but I still felt like someone was there, watching me from the shadows. Sitting up, I scooted backwards across the floor until my back was pressed into the corner between a bookshelf and the curved wall. My gaze continued to scour the room as I rocked gently back and forth, holding the blanket tight in my hands.

This goddamn world was going to end up killing me someday. It was already slowly driving me crazy. It was a place that held such cruelty towards humans. So why then was I so enchanted by it? In this world, I was nothing more to most of these ponies than a mindless animal. I had almost died in a fighting ring, where ponies had forced humans to fight to the death for their own amusement, and none of them batted an eye at that. Granted, the group of ponies involved were arrested for that, so it was apparently frowned upon here. There was still no respect, love, or understanding from them, however. I was nothing to any of these ponies...so why did they mean something to me?

Despite everything I’ve said about them, I felt like they were part of my life here. Almost like that annoying little brother who you wished was never born, until he was in trouble and he suddenly meant the world to you. At least, I think it was like that; I was an only child back home, so I didn’t exactly know what it was like to have siblings.

...anyway, I’m having trouble concentrating, where was I? Oh yeah, these blasted ponies.

The bubbly gray pegasus mare that delivered the mail every day; that goofy smile as she looked up at me from the ground, her eyes looking in different directions. Aloe and Lotus, who always greeted me and Twilight with a smile (and a hug from Lotus when she realized that she could get away with it); the way that they could relieve stress with their miraculous massages. Pound and Pumpkin Cake, who were always happy to see me, even if I had to avoid their mother at all costs. Rainbow Dash, always ready for a wrestling match, to throw down for a round or two. They all care about me, even though I’m a human...

Under the bandages, I felt my right eye twitch slightly. Did they care, though? Or was it something else entirely? Do your friends really care about your dogs and cats, or do they just put up with them because they’re yours? Did these ponies truly care about me, or was it all a lie? With my paranoia growing, I growled and ran my hands through my hair, frustrated. I was staring blankly across the room when a flash of lightning illuminated the library. I felt my blood freeze instantly. In the brief flash of light I had seen the girl with red hair standing in the far corner, staring at me with a look of rage. With a shout, I jumped to my feet, ready for a fight, but it never came. She was nowhere to be found. Instead, a coat rack stood in the corner I had seen her in. Grabbing a book off of Twilight’s desk, I threw it across the room at the coat rack with a snarl. It hit the wooden pole with a dull thud, causing them both to fall to the floor with a loud clatter.

Holding my head in my hands, I slowly fell to my knees. Tears slowly welled up in my eye as I stared at the wooden floor. Ever since I had arrived in this twisted world, I had tried my best to keep my composure. I was trying so hard to hold it all back, trying to keep myself strong and emotionally stable, but in the end it was pointless. Recent events had destroyed the emotional dam that I had built up in my mind. All of my pain, stress, fear, confusion, anger, and grief I had been bottling up broke through like a torrent, flooding my mind completely.

And so, I sat there and wept. Tears streamed down my cheeks, wetting the bandages around my right eye. They dripped down onto the floor, dampening the wooden surface as they continued to flow. I gritted my teeth as I continued to cry, my eye shut tight.

I wasn’t sure how long I sat there, crying, before I felt a wing drape itself over my shoulder. A warm body snuggled up next to me, the wing pulling me tighter into the embrace. When my companion finally spoke, I realized that it wasn't Twilight who had come to comfort me, but Fluttershy.

“It’s okay,” she cooed softly, her voice barely above a whisper. “Let it all out.” Without thinking, I leaned my head against hers, the tears still flowing steadily down my face. Fluttershy just sat there with me, murmuring in my ear as she tried to comfort me. We stayed like that for almost an hour, me resting on my knees, crying, as Fluttershy’s wing remained draped over my back. Not even the crash of thunder caused her to back away; she was determined to comfort me.

Eventually, I ran out of tears to cry. I stood up slowly, wincing as my stiff knees popped and cracked. Fluttershy backed away, smiling softly up at me as she folded her wing. Sniffling slightly, I attempted to dry my eyes, but only succeeded in getting the bandage on my hand wet. Looking around, I spied one of my spare notebooks lying on a nearby table, along with a stick of charcoal. Shuffling over to it, I picked the objects up in trembling hands before returning to Fluttershy. She had realized what I was up to, and had retrieved two pillows from the couch and placed them on the floor. She was sitting on one of them, and had the other one sitting next to her, waiting for me. As I sat down, I flipped the notebook open and scratched out a question.

+I’m sorry, did I wake you up?+

“No,” she said, smiling up at me after reading the short sentence. Strands of her pink mane stuck out at odd angles in one of the most adorable cases of bedhead I had ever seen. I couldn’t help but smile slightly at the sight. “The thunder woke me up. I was lying there, trying to fall back to sleep, when I heard the ruckus down here. I thought somepony was trying to break in.” I raised an eyebrow at this.

+And you came down to confront them? + Fluttershy hid behind her disheveled mane, a blush spreading across her face.

“I...I thought somepony was breaking in, until I heard you crying,” she said quietly, peeking out at me from behind her mane. “That’s when I decided to come down here.”

+I’m sorry for causing you grief+ Fluttershy’s eyes widened and she immediately shook her head.

“No, it’s no problem at all,” she said firmly. She paused for a moment, chewing her bottom lip as she looked at me. “I-if you don’t mind me asking, why were you crying down here alone?” I sighed heavily, causing her to flinch. Picking up the charcoal, I placed it on the next clean page and began to write.

I started off by explaining to her about my experience in the pit, about fighting the other humans and what I had to do to survive in that horrid hellhole. I left out the majority of the gory details as I didn’t want to scar the kind pegasus, but I got my general point across: I had been forced to do things that I had never done before, and I had been forced to kill other humans. I explained to her my distress at having taken their lives from them, simply to continue living mine. Tears were flowing down her face as she read what I wrote, her hooves wrapped around my shoulders in a tight hug.

I continued with my fears about what would happen if Twilight ended up being able to send me home. My fear of how my family would react to my sudden return back from the dead, the untold stress of trying to return to a normal life, the uncertainty of what would happen to the friends I had made in Equestria after I left.

Fluttershy continued to cling to me as I went on to tell her about my stress of living in a world where everyone treated me like I was incompetent; a world where I didn’t mean anything to anyone. I poured out my heart onto those pages for her to read, leaving almost nothing back. When I had finished, several pages of the notebook had been filled, and Fluttershy was hugging me tighter. It was completely quiet in the room for several minutes, the only sound being that of the heavy rain hitting the window pane. Finally, Fluttershy spoke.

“I’m not entirely sure what to say about you returning to your own world,” she said slowly, choosing her words carefully. “In the end, that’s for you—and you alone—to decide. Just know that everypony, Twilight included, will respect your decision, whatever that may be. However, I can tell you one thing,” she said, slowly breaking her grip on me and returning to her pillow. “You really shouldn’t bottle up your emotions.”

+I don’t want to bother Twilight with my own personal issues when she has enough work to—+ Fluttershy gently removed the notebook from my hands before I could finish writing. Confused, I glanced up at her. She was glaring at me with an angry expression on her face that was completely unlike her.

“Don’t,” she said softly, her voice tender despite the look in her eyes. “Don’t ever think that she doesn’t care about you. You claim that you mean nothing to anypony in Equestria, but I know for a fact that you mean a great deal to Twilight.” As she still had my notebook in her hooves, I could only look at her, my head tilted slightly. She saw my confusion, and her expression softened slightly.

“Ever since you came into her life, Twilight’s been happier than I’ve seen her in a while,” she explained, turning the notebook around in her hooves absentmindedly. “Especially after her coronation. She was so stressed after she became a princess; all those nobles were giving her a hard time up in Canterlot. Most claimed that she didn’t have what it took to be royalty, while others felt that it was just an insult that somepony like her had been made a princess. Even when Princess Celestia sent her back here to Ponyville, she seemed under a lot of pressure. There were times that we didn’t see her for days on end, and when we did actually see her, she almost never smiled. But that all changed when you showed up. It was subtle, though looking back I can’t believe that none of us noticed it sooner.

“You make her happy,” she said, finally returning my notebook. The anger had left her gaze, replaced instead by a warm smile. “She would never think that helping you with your pain would be an inconvenience, and don’t you dare think otherwise.”

+I guess you’re right+ I wrote, chewing on my lip as I twirled the charcoal in my fingers. I guess one person is better than no one.

As if hearing my thoughts, Fluttershy continued talking.

“She’s not the only one willing to help you either,” she whispered, her wings ruffling gently at her sides. “Even though we don’t really know each other that well, I would still be willing to listen.” A small blush spread across her face, her gaze lowered, and she hid behind her mane. “T-that is, if you wanted to,” she squeaked out. Smiling, I placed the notebook on the ground and quickly pulled the adorable pegasus in for a hug of my own. She whined softly in surprise, her wings popping out from her sides. She tentatively returned to hug, a smile slowly spreading across her face as well.

“And I know that I’m not the only one besides Twilight either,” she said when we finally broke the hug. “Rainbow Dash also cares about you.” For the first time in a while, I actually laughed, even if it was just a loud snort. Fluttershy looked at me curiously. Picking up the notebook and opening it, I continued to chuckle as I wrote.

+She just doesn’t want anything bad happening to her punching bag+

“That’s not true—” Fluttershy began, her voice rising slightly. I placed a finger against her lips, silencing her. When she saw the mirth in my eye, she realized that I was just kidding. “You’re more than that to her, even though she may not know how to show it,” she continued, a small smile on her face. “I know for a fact that she considers you a friend, especially after learning that you’re intelligent.”

+And the others?+

“I’m not entirely sure about Rarity and Applejack,” she said, chewing on her lip. “Rarity might not be that helpful, but that’s to be expected. However,” she shot me a quick smile, her blue eyes twinkling in the dim light, “you can always count on Pinkie Pie to try and cheer you up, not matter what.” The thought of the hyperactive pony caused us both to laugh softly.

Outside the library, the storm sounded like it was slowly dying out, making me realize just how long we had been sitting there talking. After all of that, I was actually starting to feel a lot better. There were still some issues that were going to bug me, and I don’t think I’ll be able to stop being jumpy for a while, but I felt like an immense weight had been lifted from my chest. I glanced at Fluttershy, a small smile on my face.

+Thanks for listening+ I wrote. She glanced at the notebook, before looking back at me.

“Oh, it’s quite alright,” she said, blushing again. “Just promise me you won’t hide your emotions anymore. It’s what makes you unique after all.”

+What do you mean by that?+ I asked, tilting my head to the side. She looked away from me, scratching at the floor with her hoof.

“Well, it’s just that I’ve never seen a human cry before,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t think that they have the ability to. You are the first human I have ever seen cry, and that makes you unique.” As she talked, her voice got stronger and stronger. “Never be afraid of your emotions, for they are what makes you who you are. They are what puts you above the humans of this world.” I looked at Fluttershy in surprise. I hadn’t expected something like that to come from such a timid mare. She smiled at me again before standing and heading towards the staircase.

“Just food for thought,” she said, looking back over her shoulder at me as she ascended the stairs. I watched her go, my notebook held loosely in my hands. Fluttershy had given me a lot to think about. Glancing at the clock, I saw that it was nearly three in the morning. Thunder rumbled in the distance as I stood slowly. Holding the notebook close to my chest, I followed behind Fluttershy. As I climbed the stairs, I ran a hand through my long hair absentmindedly, still thinking about what Fluttershy had said—

Instantly my opponent was upon me, straddling my chest. Before I had a chance to even breathe, she had her hands around my throat. Reaching up, I tried to pry her hands off my neck, fighting for air. However, my feeble attempts did nothing to release my throat from her viselike grip.

My mouth opened and closed, desperately trying to bring some air into my lungs. I felt her steely grip tighten around my neck, her fingers digging into my skin.

As I struggled weakly in her grasp, I slowly became aware of something wet dripping on my cheeks. Trying to focus my eyes, I looked up at the girl above me. My eyes widened as I saw her face.

Tears streamed down her cheeks from her brilliant, emerald eyes. Her lips trembled as she looked down at me, tears dripping off her chin to land on my blood-soaked face…

...tears streamed down her cheeks…

...tears...

I froze on the stairs, my hand halfway through my hair. The memory continued to run through my mind, repeating the one key event over and over again. She had tears flowing from her eyes. Slowly, I removed my hand from my hair, still staring off into space as my mind raced. Lightning flashed outside as I remained frozen on the staircase.

Fluttershy had said that she had never seen a human cry. She didn’t even think that a human could cry. But, if that was true…

...then what the hell did I see in that pit?