A Better Place, A Better Time

by Mental_Zero

First published 15th of February, 2012

A young shape-shifter finds himself in a very unfamiliar place, a long way from home.

Ryan O'Connor was a young man with a long career in medicine ahead of him. Was being the operative word, as Ryan has been dead for a long time, only brought back a monstrous bio-weapon that he helped create. Now on his third life, he finds himself in a world he never expected to end up in. How is he still alive, and more importantly, why is he surrounded by ponies?
[Prototype]-MLP Crossover

(Please excuse continuity issues, the story is currently undergoing a rewrite.)

Ponies, Because Why Not?

Have you ever been shot in the head? Have to say, it's not a pleasant experience. Why'd I get shot in the head? Well, it started about 3 weeks beforehand. I was three years out of medical school with my doctorate in Genetic Virology. Good prospects, high-paying job, relationship, so on and so forth. Well, I had been working at this company called Medicine Evolved, but most call it MedEvo. Anyway, I had been at MedEvo for a year and a half as a junior lab assistant. I suppose I demonstrated something that the people in upper management liked, and was offered a transfer to a classified project in their labs out in Chicago. Knowing what I knew about MedEvo, a transfer to a classified project must have meant something big and very high-paying, so I accepted immediately. When I was told it was a military contract, I thought it was something to do with helping wounded soldiers in the field get patched up quicker, stronger antibiotics, et cetera. As it turned out, the reality was much more horrid. I was brought into the project because of my doctorate, as MedEvo was contracted to develop a biological super weapon, equivalent to the atomic bomb during the 40's in magnitude. It was an airborne and waterborne virus with 100% infectiousness and 100% lethality, meant to be sprayed in any third-world country that proved to be particularly troublesome to the great US of A. I, as seemingly the only person on the project who had a conscience, decided that the virus could not ever see the light of day. I worked my way into the project as deeply as I could, then destroyed all the research data and equipment and stole vials filled with the only synthesized versions of the virus. As you could guess, I was caught soon after in a bus station in Chicago. The soldiers they sent tried to get me to give back the vials, but I refused, so they shot me dead, and when I did, the vials shattered, unleashing the virus upon the city.

The first thing I remember after that was nearly getting eaten alive by one of the monstrosities I had helped create, a deformed, rabid excuse of what was once a human being. During the confrontation, I discovered that I had developed certain abilities, namely the ability to redistribute the biological matter in my body at will, which basically means I'd become a shape-shifter, along with being able to turn my body into a living weapon. I was soon contacted by the leader of MedEvo's private army, man named Colonel Walker. Seemed fitting, as we were dealing with the nearest real-world equivalent to a zombie apocalypse. We agreed upon a truce while we cleansed the city of the infection. I don't know why I didn't see his betrayal coming, but when it did, I just ran as far and fast as my legs would carry me, ending in New Orleans. There was a confrontation, specifically Walker ordering to unleash artillery upon the city in my general area. Then supersoldiers, then tanks, and regular infantry. I fought off plenty, but plenty more came, and I was eventually brought down. Walker seemed to have deemed this task important enough to finish himself, as he arrived personally to finish me off. As I laid there dying, staring down the barrel of his .44 revolver, I couldn't help but think of a song I used to listen to.

And when you wake up
Everything is gonna be fine
I guarantee that you wake in a better place
In a better time
So you're tired of living
Feel like you might give in
Well don't
It's not your time

There was a flash, a bang, and I was dead with a shit-eating grin on my face, knowing my last action was getting blood and brain matter on the Colonel's nice shoes.

But, as it turned out, death was not in my cards. Not permanent death, anyway.

I woke up in a forest clearing, it seemed to be the only place that let light in for quite a distance. I sat up, rubbing my forehead and looked around. No signs of animal life, just trees, grass and the occasional bush. The silence was unsettling, especially for a guy who had lived his whole life in cities. With a lack of any better ideas, I got up, oriented myself East, and started walking. It was maybe two hours before I broke out of the forest, nearly walking straight into a sign pointing down the road. I glanced at the faded lettering. Ponyville, 5km. Why did that sound familiar? Before I could think about it any further, a scream came from back inside of the forest. I whipped around in the direction of the scream,

"HELP!" It was the high-pitched, piercing wale of a girl in serious trouble. I didn't even hesitate before taking off in the direction of the scream at a dead sprint. It was a relatively short run, my path leading to another clearing, occupied by wolves...made of wood? Wait, what? Before I got a chance to think about the impossibility of wolves made out of freaking wood, they snapped their heads to face me, slowly starting to form a semicircle around me. I peeled back a large portion of the flesh from my hands, elongating the fingers and covering them in a coating of condensed keratin, harder than steel and twice as sharp, forming vicious claws. What appeared to be the alpha of the pack approached through the semicircle and crouched down maybe ten feet away, getting ready to pounce. I heard the slightest ripple in the air behind me and slashed at it, dividing the wolf that tried to jump me. I kept up the momentum, elongating the claws to hit two other wolves. The alpha dived at my back, only to come to the very shocking realization that the 6'1" homosapien that, for all intents and purposes, should have weighed maybe 180 pounds, but turned out to weigh more along the lines of 200 tons. In short, he bounced right off of me. I returned the favor he tried to do for me in short order, shredding him with my claws. With three of their members and their alpha dead, the remainder of the pack decided to retreat back into the forest.

I looked around the clearing, not finding the source of the scream. Had I been too late?

"Hello? The wolves are gone now, miss, it's safe to come out now. I heard muffled whispering off to my right, it seemed to be coming up from the trees, "Miss?" I heard a timid voice behind me,

"T-t-thank y-you, mister."

I turned around and saw...a pony. A four-foot-nothing, butter yellow pony with a pink mane and tail, with wings. I suddenly realized why the sign seemed familiar,"My Little Pony. I'm in the world of My Little Pony."

A show that I watched a few times when I was a teenager, that's where I ended up after I died? What the hell? I looked around the clearing quickly to make sure I wasn't under the influence of any hallucinogens, only to find five other ponies behind me. Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity. I could feel my sanity start to groan under the strain of what was happening, and I looked at Applejack, "Could you please do me a quick favor and punch me in the face as hard as you can?"

She looked at me like I had just grown a second head, "Pardon?"

Groan, creak, snap, snap, snap, "Please just do it."

It didn't help her confused expression, but she obliged, putting me flat on my back. When I sat back up they were still there. I nodded contemplatively, "I've gone insane. I'm seeing pastel-colored, talking ponies, so I've gone insane."

Applejack looked at me a moment, "Y'all don't look too crazy to me, all things considered."

That sounded reassuring. Twilight spoke up, "Uhm, e-excuse me, but, who and what are you?"

I decided to go along with my insanity, "Human, scientific name Homo sapiens sapiens. My name is Ryan O'Connor."

She jumped slightly at the hardness in my voice, mostly just to choke down those high, silvery laughs that are the express route to rubber rooms and coats with really long sleeves. Twilight looked at my hands, now shifted back to normal, "What was that ability that you just demonstrated?"

I reverted to the claws again, "These? This is due to a virus that I came in contact to about a month ago. Normally it would've killed me, but instead it decided to give me a whole bag of tricks that most humans don't have."

Was I saying too much? Possibly. Did I really care? I've already gone off the deep end, hell no, I didn't care. Twilight turned to the others, "Girls, stay here with..."

She looked at me, "Him?"

I nodded, she turned back to them, "Stay with him, I'm going to contact Princess Celestia."

They nodded, some more uneasily than others, and she disappeared in a flash of light, presumably to...Canterlot, I think was the name of the place. I went and sat cross-legged at one corner of the clearing, fighting down those little silvery laughs. I got maybe a minute of peace before a certain brightly-colored pegasus flashed over, "Hey."

Rainbow Dash said. I opened my eyes slowly, finding her to be maybe a foot away from me. For some reason she smelled just like Big Red gum, "Hello."

She looked at me intently, "So, how'd you do that?"

I cocked an eyebrow at her, "Do what?"

She pointed at the shredded alpha, "Make a Timberwolf bigger than Big Mac just bounce off of you."

I shrugged, "I weigh more than I look."

A little spark of cockiness lit in her eyes, "I bet I could lift ya."

I shrugged and got up, holding my arms out, "Go ahead and try."

After a solid minute and a half of straining from her, Rainbow gave up. She landed on wobbly legs, looking at me, "How much do you weigh?"

She asked between gasps, "200 tons, more or less."

She steadied herself a bit, "I believe it." I sat back down and she returned to the group.

By time Twilight had returned with Princess Celestia, the remainder of the ponies with me had all asked me a different series of questions. Rarity asked about fashion, Applejack about farming, Pinkie about parties, yada yada yada. I got to my feet and looked at the elder half of Equestria's diarchy. I won't deny that it sounds odd, but she looked absolutely stunning, even by human standards. Long, lean, she looked strong yet graceful, wizened but still young. She looked like what Athena aspired to be. I guess that's one of the perks of being an ancient sun goddess. I bowed respectfully,

"Your highness." She was giving me a look that reminded me a pre-vet roommate I used to have whenever he saw a particularly mean-looking wolf,

"I understand you protected my student and her friends from a pack of Timberwolves." That was a voice that you do not forget, ever. She did not speak loudly or harshly, but I could still sense the enormity of her power in her voice. I nodded, "That is correct, your Highness."

She inclined her head to me, "Then I am in your debt, Mister O'Connor. I thank you."

The goddess of the sun is indebted to me. Uh, wow. The other five ponies came over to join Twilight and Celestia, Applejack noticed the look in Celestia's eyes, "If I might, Princess, he looks a might strange, but he doesn't seem like a bad feller. Not the friendliest of sorts, but not bad."

The look Celestia was giving me evaporated immediately, replaced by something a bit more apologetic, "Thank you for your input, Applejack. Forgive me, Mr. O'Connor, I am not used to my student being saved by a new species of sentient life form, let alone one that looks so different from most other species in Equestria."

I waved my hand dismissively, "Think nothing of it, your Highness, I've received much worse looks than that."

She gave me a kind smile, almost grandmotherly, "If you need anything while you are staying here, feel free to ask."

I considered the offer for a moment, "Well, you see, your Highness, I'm currently without housing, or money, or anything apart what I have on me."

She nodded slightly, "I see. I will see to it that you are provided with appropriate housing."

Twilight piped up, "He can stay with me and Spike in the Library. I'd like to study him more. If I may, Princess."

Celestia considered it a moment, "Very well, my student, he may stay with you until appropriate housing is provided."

She let out an excited little squeal, which I couldn't help but reply to with an amused snort. The term "adorkable" still very much applies, even after a decade of having not even thought about her or any other of the denizens of Equestria. Rarity decided to take the moment to speak up, "While we may welcome Mr. O'Connor with open hooves from his actions, I am not so sure if the residents of Ponyville will show the same hospitality to him."

I looked at Twilight, "Public meet and greet?"

She tapped her hoof on her chin a moment, "It might work, it might also cause a panic."

I shrugged, "So long as I don't immediately show off my powers, I don't think it will be too bad."

She nodded, "I'll talk to Mayor Mare about it. Do you think you can get into the library without being seen?"

I held up a finger, "One second." I backed up from the group and started shifting, feeling my spine shorten, my neck bending upwards, fur growing out of my body at a hugely increased rate. Overall not a very pleasant experience, but not too bad, and I ended up not looking too out of the ordinary. When I straightened back up, my equestrian companions were all looking at me with expressions falling between fascination and disgust,

"Like I said, a whole bag of tricks." Once their stomachs had all settled, we began the trip back to Ponyville.

Author's Notes:

Yes, I know, I know, exposition for days. But I'd say it's a whole lot better than it used to be. Please leave any thoughts on the new style in the comments.

Hi, My Name Is...

Princess Celestia departed for Canterlot before we got into town, so things look less out of the ordinary with our little party. By and large it seemed to work, I got the odd glance from passerby, but nothing that indicated they thought anything was up. We finally returned to the library after seeing the others to their respective homes. I looked around at the rows upon rows of books, all along the walls, seemingly without end, even thought it was in such a relatively small space. I looked at Twilight,

"Do you mind if I switch back?" She shook her head,

"Go right ahead. I just need to go tell Spike that we're having guests." I nodded and began to shift back to my human form, noticing Twilight stopped near the top of the stairs, looking at me with an almost morbid curiosity. She hurried up the last few steps when I caught her staring, trying to hide a slight embarrassed blush. I felt the corners of my mouth turn up, if only for the fact that for the first time in nearly a month, I was in civilization and no one was trying to kill me yet. The illusion of the library's vastness seemed to fade a fair bit once I changed back, guess it was meant more for a 4-foot frame than a 6-foot one. That rule applied to everything else in the library, as well. Everything looked way too small, which it admittedly is for a guy my size, even for a guy a foot shorter than I am. I sat down in one of the couches, shifting my weight so I wouldn't immediately fall through. Twilight came back downstairs a couple of minutes later, a half-asleep baby dragon behind her,

"So, whassa thig you're talkin about, Twilight?" He got his answer when he saw me on the couch. It's amazing how white a bright green and purple dragon can turn. He got back to sleep in a hurry, at least. Twilight caught him before he fell, "Oh dear. Spike, are you okay?"

I took a quick sniff of the air, "He should be fine."

She looked at me, "How can you know? He could be having an aneurysm, or a heart attack, or..."

I put up a hand to stop her, "Twilight, one, I'm a doctor, two, his blood flow is still normal. His brain activity and heart rate pinned for a moment, but it's within acceptable boundaries for sleeping children."

While I was technically lying, it was only technically. I'm not a pediatrician, but I roomed with one for two years, and I really could sense Spike's heart rate, and it was fine. It was mostly just to reassure Twilight, anyway. She carried him back upstairs, coming down after she'd calmed down herself. I looked at her, "So, did you schedule the meet and greet with the Mayor?"

She nodded, "It'll be happening in one hour, twelve minutes and eight seconds."

I chuckled slightly at her characteristic obsession with schedules. She looked at me with a bit of indignation, "What?"

I smiled kindly at her, "Nothing, I'm just in overall high spirits."

She sat in a chair across from me, studying me, "Why's that?"

I hesitated. As far as I knew, violence was a borderline unheard-of circumstance in Equestria. On Earth, it was a fact of life, it happened every day, the varieties I inflicted among some of the worst kinds. Does she really deserve to know how bad things were where I came from? Well, she'll probably keep asking until I cave, knowing her. So I gave her a summarized version of my last three weeks on Earth, telling her as much as I think I should say. Even still, by the end she looked like I just curb-stomped a puppy, then lit it on fire, "I-it's really that bad on Earth?"

She asked, looking a touch green around the gills. I nodded grimly, "That's why I'm so happy to be here, to finally escape the madness, the violence, the pestilence, the death..."

I shook my head, clearing away the memories, "And in my first few hours here, I'm already taken in by a sweet young mare without a second thought on her part."

I gave her the first genuinely warm smile I'd given in quite some time, which made her try to hide a fierce blush. I took a quick glance at the clock, "You said the meeting was at 5:30, right?"

She nodded, the blush fading. I got up, "Then I guess we'd better get moving, it's a quarter past now."

She quickly looked back at the clock, "Oh no, we're going to be late!" She jumped up and started grabbing things for my presentation. I got up and put a hand on her shoulder, "Twilight, calm down, we won't be late. Take the essentials, go to town square, and I'll meet you there."

She jumped slightly when I touched her. I turned her to face me, "Okay?"

We locked eyes for a moment, staying there before she nodded, "Okay."

I flashed her another smile and turned to go upstairs. I took another whiff of the air, "You blushing, Twilight?"

I remarked. I could feel her turn even redder, and shrugged, dismissing it as nothing. I cracked open her bedroom window, slipping out into the night.

I sat up on a rooftop, watching the beginning of the presentation. I guess when the Mayor calls for a sudden town meeting, it's taken pretty seriously, as it looked like every able-bodied pony in town was present. Mayor Mare had just stepped down from the podium and Twilight was beginning introductions,

"...And so, I'd like to introduce-" I bolted to the stage, snatching the microphone,

"Ryan O'Connor." I could hear everyone in the crowd quickly draw in breath all at once. There was a brief moment of silence, everyone was staring at me, some with fear, some curiosity, a few just outright confusion. After a moment, I saw a little filly raise her hoof, "Yes?" She trotted to the front of the crowd,

"Are you a monster?"

I shook my head, "No, I'm not a monster."

A colt trotted up next to her, he looked to be her brother, "Are you gonna eat us?"

Again, I shook my head, "No, I don't eat ponies."

More silence. I looked around the crowd, their expressions starting to relax. There's no way it's going to be this easy, impossible...right? It was at that moment I realized my wings were still out, and reabsorbed them without thinking. The instant they were gone, roughly a dozen ponies screamed and bolted, causing a big 'ol domino effect, sending just about everyone in every direction away from me. I put my head in my hand once everything quieted down, silently raking myself over the coals for that misstep, "So close..."

Twilight came over and gave me a pat on the back, "Don't worry, they'll come around eventually. Ponyville has had more than its share of strange things happen in it, housing a whole new sentient species is hardly the most outlandish."

I nodded, "I think I'm going to go for a walk. I'll see you back at the Library, Twi." Before she could respond, I dropped down from the stage and wandered off into the streets of Ponyville.

When I got back to the Library, it was well past 9. The walk didn't do much to help my social standing after that monumental faux pas at the meeting. The best I got was a filly looking at me, fascinated, before getting yanked away from the window by her parents and the shutters snapped shut. The whole thing reminded me far too much of home. Hell, at least back on Earth, people had to see you on the news to know you were a freak, there was no illusions about that here. I was a stranger in a strange land, and it was more than evident to the residents that I didn't belong. Twilight was reading a book by the fireplace, her eyes glued to the pages, oblivious to my entry. I squeezed myself into the chair across from her and just sat there, watching her read, the firelight dancing in her eyes as she tore through the book, turning the page almost every other minute. She jumped when she finally noticed me, nearly dropping the book,

"Oh! Hey, Ryan, how long have you been sitting there?" I felt the corners of my mouth turn up,

"A few minutes."

She quickly put a bookmark in and snapped the book shut, putting it by her side, "How was your walk?"

I shrugged, "Didn't do much for me, in all honesty."

She looked at me, concerned, "Are you okay?"

I pushed away the bad memories from home, "Yeah, I'm fine, just annoyed at myself for managing to screw up my first meeting with my new neighbors so badly."

She got up and trotted over to me, "Feel like a fish out of water, you don't belong here?"

I nodded. She put a hoof on my arm, "I know the feeling, Ryan. I came from Canterlot when I was the personal student of Princess Celestia, out to some random rural town out in the middle of nowhere. You're not going to fit in, at first, but the ponies of Ponyville are nice, they'll accept you soon enough."

I looked at her, smiling softly, "Thanks, Twilight, that...that really helps."

And it did. It's amazing what a few kind words, even from a relative stranger, can do to make you feel better about yourself. She smiled back and returned to her chair, "So, I learned plenty about what happened to you, but I never got much about who you are."

The smile broadened, if only from the sheer relief of just having a normal conversation with someone, "Well, what would you like to know?"

Her eyes lit up, "Oh, anything and everything."

I let out a little chuckle and relaxed into the tiny chair, "Well, I was born in Woodlawn, it's a neighborhood in one of the big cities back home, New York City. My mother was a high school art teacher, my father was a construction worker..."

We spent the next three hours learning about each other. As it turns out, aside from one very specific fact for each of us, mine being a shape-shifter, Twilight's being the Element of Magic, we both lived rather boring lives. This realization got a ripple of laughter from both of us. I glanced at the clock,

"Getting pretty late, I think I'll catch myself some shuteye." Twilight looked at the clock,

"I'm gonna stay up a little while longer, I still have another couple of chapters to finish."

I forced myself out of the chair, "Alright, guess I'll see you in the morning."

She smiled sweetly, "See you in the morning." I returned the smile, heading to the guest bedroom,

"G'night."

The bed was far from built for my size, but I made it work. It felt like maybe an hour and a half later that I felt someone pulling the covers back over me and a kiss on my cheek, "Sweet dreams." I couldn't quite identify the voice in my haze of semi-consciousness, but I remember the scent, halfway between lavender and a well-preserved book, it was a nice smell. I dreamed of purple sheep that night.

Let's Try This Again

"You suck at picking up on subtleties, did you know that?" I sat up immediately, looking around the room,

"Who said that?" Suddenly a replica of myself, maybe 8 inches tall and dressed in all black, appeared on my shoulder, "I did, genius."

I snapped my head to look at him, "Who the hell are you?"

He wore a perpetual scowl, "Name's Fail, I'm half of your inner voice, and you are still clueless."

He had a vaguely Bostonian accent. I tried to process what he was saying, but was coming up with a blank, "Why exactly are you here?"

He shrugged, "Apparently dying, being chased across the US, shot in the face, and waking up in a magical land of fucking ponies isn't too good for the psyche. Your conscience split in half, and we only just got out voices back."

I could feel those crazy little giggles bubbling up again, "Well, where's the other half?"

He knocked on my temple, "Safe, get out here!"

Another copy appeared on my other shoulder, this one clad in white, looking much kinder in comparison to Fail, "Hello, sir. I apologize for my brother's rudeness, he's the more...crass side of your mind."

He had a light RP accent. Fail sneered at Safe, "I also get things done a lot quicker than you do, Safe."

Safe sighed and looked at me, "He will tell you that ad nauseam."

Before I could say anything else, Fail gave me a quick knock on the temple, "And no, you're not going insane, you did die, you are in Equestria, and Twilight does want you."

I looked at him, "What are you talking about?"

He facepalmed and looked to Safe, "He's hopeless, absolutely hopeless. He will never get laid again at this rate."

Safe nodded thoughtfully, "I do have to agree with you on that point. She was being fairly obvious, Boss."At that moment the mare in question knocked on the door,

"Ryan, are you awake?"Fail and Safe exchanged a nod, then disappeared in little puffs of smoke. I sat there a moment, just looking from one shoulder to another. Another knock, "Ryan?"

"Yeah, I'm up."

I got up, starting to pull my clothes on. She came in with a tray of food and a glass of juice, nearly dropping them when she saw that I was only half-dressed. I snapped my arms back, catching them, "Morning, Twi."

She cleared her throat quietly and picked them back up, "M-morning. I brought you breakfast."

I got my shirt and jacket on then turned to her, smiling slightly, "I noticed."

I looked at the tray, it was filled with various fruits, "Looks good. Thanks, Twi."

She smiled sweetly, "I figured from what you told me about human diets that you wouldn't really enjoy haycakes."

I took the tray and juice from her, putting them on the desk by the bed, "I appreciate the thought."

She sat down next to me, "So, did you sleep well?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I had a weird dream, though. It felt like an hour after I went to sleep, like someone pulled the sheets back over me and kissed me on the cheek."

She blushed, "O-oh?"

I nodded, taking a bite of an apple, "Yeah, I think they said something to me, too. Something like 'Sweet dreams' I do remember they smelled like old books and lavender, it was weird."

Her blush deepened, "Y-yeah, that does sound weird."

I shrugged, "Just a dream, I guess. You sleep well?" She nodded. I quickly finished my breakfast, "So, guess my itinerary for today is going to consist of saving my reputation in Ponyville from the pits of Hell."

That got a small giggle from her, "I'm sure that won't be a problem for someone as charming as you."

She clapped a hoof over her mouth, blushing again, "I-I mean, you're very nice, I'm sure they'll take a liking to you."

I chuckled, "I get it, Twi, thank you for the encouragement." I cleaned the dishes and headed for the door, "I'll see you later, Twi." She smiled and waved, "Bye, Ryan."

The first indication that it wouldn't be that easy was the crowd gathered a block away. The second sign was the torches and pitchforks. The third was the fact that they were looking straight at me. I set my jaw and started walking towards them. They, in turn, began marching towards me, conviction in their faces. We stopped maybe 10 feet from each other, staring each other down. An older stallion, he looked to be the leader of the group, stepped forward,

"We don't want you in our town, monster." He said with a sneer. I heard Fail grumble something about making an example of him. I returned a scowl to him,

"Really, I'm the monster? I'm not the one who's threatening the guy who has committed absolutely zero violent acts towards the citizens of Ponyville and saved the Elements of Harmony."

My retort didn't do much to change his disgusted expression, "We heard about the world you're from. Nothing but war and death there. We don't want that coming here, this is a nice, quiet town."

I didn't even try to suppress my laughter, "Quiet, normal town? I've read up on the town's history, in the last two years, the personal student of Princess Celestia has taken up residence here, Nightmare Moon passed through in an attempt to destroy the Elements of Harmony, as did the god of chaos, Discord. You'd have to have some serious head trauma to believe this town is anything resembling quiet."

He dug in his hooves, "Not gonna ask you again, leave."

My mouth set into a determined line, "Make me."

He looked at me, amused, "We got more ponies than you, and we're stronger than you is."

Now it was my turn to be amused, "Two things. One, you aren't stronger than I am. And two..." I threw out my arms, sending out two copies of myself in either direction. All five of us then sent out ten copies of ourselves behind us. We all looked at the leader, who was now thoroughly prepared to lay the brick, and spoke as one, "...there isn't more of you than there is of us."

The copies all reabsorbed back into me, I walked over to the mob's leader, who now seemed to have the fear of God himself struck into him, and knelt down, "So tell me, if this confrontation were to turn violent, who do you think would win?"

He couldn't even form words, now that his little righteous power illusion had been yanked out from under him. I smiled pleasantly at him, "That's what I thought. Now then, that leaves us with two options."

I looked through the crowd, none of whom seemed to be much less scared than their leader, "Either you all start being a good bit friendlier, or at the very least less hostile, and we'll forget this ever happened. Or, this can get violent, and you can lose. That goes double if anyone tries to give trouble to Miss Sparkle for housing me."

There was a ripple of terrified agreement through the crowd, I got back up, "Good to hear."

I got back up and went over to the first pony that my eyes settled on, a middle-aged looking mare, her coat was a light grey, dirty-blond mane, "And what's your name?" She looked up at me, terrified,

"W-what?" I met her eyes, a subdued blue,

"I said, what is your name?" She was shaking,

"W-w-why?" I smiled pleasantly,

"It's generally considered good etiquette to know the names of your neighbors."

She cleared her throat, "H-high Skies."

I nodded, turning on as much charm as I could get, "Nice to meet you, High Skies, I'm Ryan. How are you today?"

She relaxed slightly,

"O-okay, I suppose. You're not going to hurt anypony?" I shook my head,

"Dear lord, no, I wouldn't dream of it." Thankfully, the sincerity in my words didn't seem to be lost on her, she even smiled, if somewhat shyly, "Nice to meet you, Ryan."

I went through the crowd, repeating the process with the rest of them. I ended with the leader, his name was apparently Old School, he was a school teacher. Can you say archetype? I knelt in front of him,

"Now, Old School, do you think that we'll have a problem like this again?" He shook his head slowly,

"No, I don't think so, Mister O'Connor." I smiled and clapped him on the shoulder, then got back up, "Good to hear. You all have a good day, now." I gave them a quick wave and walked off to go about my day. Additionally, as it turns out, Fail and Safe have a sound system set up in my head, as Fail put on a beautifully fitting song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fm660vIn8Tg

Thankfully the rest of Ponyville's residents weren't quite so vehement about my staying here. They realized that stranger and more terrifying things had happened over the years in the "quiet" town of Ponyville. Miss Cheerilee even invited me to come to the school to teach the fillies and colts about human culture. I didn't get back to the Library until well past 8, to find Twilight reading the same book she had been reading the day before. I managed to catch a glimpse of the first word in the title, "Inter-species". She got up and smiled at me,

"Hey." I smiled back,

"Hey, Twi." She trotted over, "So, how did everything go?"

I shrugged, "Had to intimidate a few particularly zealous ponies into not acting to boneheaded, but not that bad, by and large."

She nodded, "I saw that confrontation with you and the angry mob. I didn't know you could clone yourself like that."

I looked at her, "Neat trick, huh?"

She nodded, "It must have some...interesting uses."

I nodded slightly, "Certainly helps if you need an extra pair of eyes somewhere." Fail popped up on my shoulder and looked at me incredulously,

"Are you fucking kidding me?!"

Safe appeared behind him, grabbed him, and they both disappeared in a puff of smoke. Twilight looked at me, more than a little confused, "Uhh, what was that?"

I shrugged, "Fail and Safe. Apparently they're my inner voice, or my conscience, they weren't very clear. Either way, when I got here, my mind was divided and they're the result."

She nodded, shifting from confusion to intrigue, "Interesting. Do you think I could speak to them?"

Safe appeared on my shoulder, smiling pleasantly, "Of course. Please do forgive my brother, he is a bit less...restrained than I am. I assure you it won't be an issue."

She snapped to look at him, "May I speak with your brother as well?"

He pursed his lips, "I'm sorry, Fail is not available at the moment, he's asleep right now."

The muffled yells in my head made that explanation seem a bit dodgy, but I wasn't going to say anything. He looked up at me, "May we please relocate over by the fireplace?"

I walked with Twilight to the fireplace, and Safe dismounted my shoulder, landing on the table between the two chairs. He looked at Twilight, "Please, take a seat."

She sat down on the chair and looked at him intently. Not having anything to really contribute to the conversation, I just kind of stood there awkwardly for a moment. Safe looked at me, "You don't need to stay here for this, Boss. Go out and enjoy yourself, I'll return when I have finished speaking with Miss Sparkle."

I paused a moment, "Alright. Twilight, do you have any suggestions for things to do around here?"

She considered it a moment, "Club PON-3 is a pretty common place for ponies to gather at night. Rainbow Dash knows the owner, you should be able to get in without much trouble." I nodded, "Thanks, Twi. I'll see you later." She had already started talking to Safe by time I was out the door.

I managed to get to the club before the line got too long, it was just opening at the time. I got a funny look from the bouncer, but he let me in. I was in the first group of clubgoers, and admittedly felt painfully out of place, a feeling accentuated by the number of ponies that looked at me when I walked in. I elected to stay in the corner for the time being. It looked like they didn't have the main DJ on yet, just some guy opening for them. After another hour and a few shots of liquor, the announcer roared through the speakers,

"Alright, fillies and gentlecolts, you ready to get things pumped up?" There was a roar of approval through the crowd, "Then welcome to the stage, you know her, you love her, DJ PON-3!" That was the first time I saw Vinyl Scratch. A barely off-white coat, azure mane with electric blue highlights, black-framed glasses with purple lenses hiding ruby-red eyes. There was a thin line of sweat at her hairline, a confident smile on her face, she had the air of someone who knew their craft and knew it damned well. I was struck by her immediately, I even heard what sounded like Fail saying, "Damn..." Behind the duct tape over his mouth. She looked across the crowd, I could feel her eyes settle on me, a pleased little grin tugging at her mouth. She grabbed the microphone,

"Well, fillies and gents, it seems we have a newcomer here. Ryan O'Connor, right?" I felt myself tense slightly as a whole lot of eyes turned to me, it was an all too familiar feeling. Fail decided to take that moment to finally get the tape off of his mouth,

"Confidence, you twit! Winning smile, not phased by public attention, do it!"

I cleared my throat and looked at her, letting the corners of my mouth turn up slightly, "That's right."

She nodded, "Awesome. Well, Ryan, we have a policy here at Club PON-3, and that is whenever somepony moves into Ponyville and comes here for the first time, we let them get their pick of one track for the night's set. You game?"

I cocked an eyebrow at her, not noticing that the club had gone quiet, "Oh? Any track I want?"

I looked around the crowd, hoping to god that at least some music from home got here, too, "Well, I can't think of any better track to kick off the night than The Munsta by SCNDL. You have it?"

Her grin widened, "That's what I'm talking about. Well, Ryan, on behalf of the staff, welcome to Ponyville."

I could just hear Fail over the beat, "My god, you actually interacted with a girl and didn't piss your pants. One that you think is hot, at that." I tuned him out, letting myself get lost in the music.

I guess I lost track of time after Ms. Scratch took the stage, because before I knew it, it was closing time, the hours lost to god knows where. I looked around the club, now empty, blinking away the fog,

"Whoa, what time is it?" I saw Vinyl, up at her booth, looking down at me, wearing a grin that was somewhere between amusement and awe,

"It's almost 4 in the morning. You might have just set a record for how long anypony's ever stayed in here in one sitting."

I rubbed my eyes, laughing in spite of myself, "Well, I had plenty of stress to relieve. Been a long time since I got to go out and have fun."

She chuckled, "I could tell, you were partying like there was no tomorrow. You really seemed to have a feel for the music, you have any background in it?"

I shrugged, "I was in the band back in high school, my brother was a DJ. So, I have reasonable experience."

She nodded thoughtfully, "Your brother teach you much about DJ'ing?"

I thought about it a moment, "Yeah, he taught me some, enough to hold my own."

She packed away the equipment, "You got a job yet?"

The notion honestly hadn't occurred to me, and I couldn't mooch off of Twilight's generosity forever, "No, why?"

She trotted off the stage, taking off her shades, "Well, I've been looking for a more permanent opening guy. All the ones I hire don't stay in town for long. You got what it takes to open for me? And if so, you interested?"

God, it had been so long since Jason ever taught me anything about DJ'ing, I'd consider myself lucky to handle a house party,

"Boss, are you high? Think of the possibilities. People will love you, you'll get to stay up having a blast every night, and you'll get a great view of that excellent piece of ass looking at us. Hell, you'll even get paid for it."

I considered his point for a moment, then looked at Vinyl, "Well, I'd have quite a bit of rust to shake off, but I think I could pull it off."

She shook her head, "No, I need something better than that. Can you do it or not?"

I hesitated, then nodded, "Yes, I can do it."

She gave me a slight grin, "Good, you start tomorrow."

There was a brief pause, "I'll get Safe."

I looked at her, trying to keep a level head, "T-tomorrow? I don't have a set or anything prepared."

She grinned and led me out, "Then I hope you're good at thinking on your hooves. Think of it as a test. Be here."

With that, she trotted off to her own home, and it wasn't until halfway back to where I was staying did I realize how far in over my head I was. Fail and Safe reported back before I got back, if we got somewhere that was open with an internet connection, with 15 hours between then and 7pm the next night, with a healthy dose of luck and unceasing work, we might just be able to pull off a decent opening set for Vinyl,

"Twilight didn't seem to need her computer for tomorrow, so we should be able to use hers. If we keep the volume down, it shouldn't be much of an issue." It was 4:12 when I got back, 4:15 when I started my longest cram session since college.

Please Welcome to the Stage

6:15, forty minutes left. I was giving the mix I put together one last listen, hopefully it'll be done by then. I hadn't paused for a moment since I got back from the club, and I was feeling it, mainly in the form of a pounding headache, not being helped by the bass of the tracks. I pushed the pain away, focusing on the set, listening for any issues with the transitions, making sure the tracks blended well. 6:30, there were a few small hiccups to correct, I frantically worked to smooth them over or otherwise jury-rig it back together. 6:50, it seemed I was finally done. I grabbed the flash drive Twilight let me borrow for the project, copied it over, and tucked it into my pocket. I got up, feeling every joint in my body start cracking at once. 6:53, time to get moving. I opened the door to find Twilight back at her chair with her book, quietly reading while Spike organized a few books on the shelves. Twilight turned to look at me, she looked worried,

"Hey." I cleared my throat, my voice still coming out as a dull rasp,

"Hey, Twi."

She pursed her lips, "You feeling alright?"

I nodded, "A little tired, but I'll be fine."

She got up and gave me a quick hug, "Good luck."

I managed a weak smile, hugging her back, "Thanks, Twi. I promise I'll be back by time you wake up."

She nodded, "Okay, I'll see you then."

She returned to her book, I headed out the door, blinking at the setting sun, not used to natural light. I caught a glimpse of myself in a storefront window, seemed Twilight was right to be worried, I looked like hell, eyes bloodshot, hair manic, bags under my eyes. I certainly didn't look presentable for my first night working, but I'd cross that bridge when I came to it. I arrived at 7 o'clock on the dot, catching Vinyl at the door. She certainly looked better rested than I did, coat and mane washed and brushed, eyes glowing. I held onto the flash drive for reassurance,

"Hey." She didn't look back, juggling her things and unlocking the door,

"Hey...Celestia-damnit."

I held a couple of her bags for her, she got the key in the lock, "Thanks."

I nodded slightly. We walked inside, the club seemed awfully different before opening, all the bar stools neatly put away, everything spotless, not even the faintest whiff of sweat present. I set down Vinyl's bags, she went over to the booth, getting everything set up, "So, you going to give me a good entry tonight?"

I held up the flash drive, grinning weakly, "15 hours of work says 'I sure as hell hope so'."

She looked at the drive, then to me, her face deepening into a slight frown, "You going to be okay to perform tonight?"

I nodded, putting the drive away, "I've been through worse."

She trotted down and looked at me closely, those blood-red eyes poring over me, she smelled kind of like Red Bull, "You're going to need to do something about your face, ponies aren't going to be too excited when it looks like the DJ is about to die halfway through the set."

I considered the though for a moment, "One sec."

I turned away from her, quickly forming a mask and slipping it over my face. I turned back, "This work?"

She inspected the mask, "Certainly memorable, even on top of the other...distinguishing characteristics. Where'd you even get that?"

I chuckled, "A magician never reveals his secrets."

She rolled her eyes slightly, "Alright, Mister Magic. Now, we need a stage name for you, something memorable."

I considered the idea a moment, "What about ROC-0N?"

She looked at me after a moment, "Not the most inventive, but it'll work. Alright, ROC-0N, let's get this place set up."

Two copies stepped out behind me, "What do you need us to do?"

She jumped, "The buck is that?"

I pulled the mask off, putting it away, "Never hurts to have a few extra hands available. Now, what do you need us to do?"

She at the three of us for a moment, "Uh, you need to check the taps are clear, get the bar stools set up, check the lights are all working, and a quick sound test from the floor. Then help Suds, the bartender, with bringing in booze when he arrives. Then just fix anything that comes up." We nodded, "Got it."

9:00 PM, time to open the doors for the first group of customers. I slipped the mask back on, everything had been taken care of with plenty of time to spare. Vinyl had me wait in the wings for the first few minutes, and once the club had sufficiently filled up, she brought the mic up,

"Good evening, fillies and gents, just a quick announcement. We have a new co-DJ here at Club PON-3. Now, it's his first time in a while, so be nice to him. That being said, give a big welcome to DJ ROC-0N!" She looked back at me, "They're all yours." When I got up to the booth, there were more than a few odd looks from the crowd. I grabbed the microphone, trying to not sound as bad as I looked under the mask,

"Evening, ladies and gentlemen, how're you all doing tonight?" There were a few isolated cheers, but by and large they remained quiet, looking at me. I threw up my hands, "Aww, come on, is that how you guys welcome the new guy? I look a little funny, but-" I started up the set, that certainly got their ears perked up, "-I still know how to party. Now, lemme ask again, how are you doing tonight?!" There was a solid cheer from most, if not all, of the crowd. I felt a manic grin spread across my face, "That's what I like to hear!"

10:30, my time on the stage was done. Too bad, I was just starting to have fun, too. I stepped down from the stage, letting Vinyl take the stage. I gave her a quick look as we passed,

"Wake me if you need me." She gave a quick nod, quickly trotting up to the stage. There was a thunderous roar from the crowd as soon as they caught sight of her. I found a comfortable-looking chair in the back, settling into it, immediately feeling my eyelids start to droop as the adrenaline started to fade away. I could distantly hear Vinyl over the speakers,

"New guy's not bad, right?" There was a cheer from the crowd. That was the last thing I heard before falling asleep, not even the massive sound system could wake me. I was shaken awake by Vinyl some time around 2:30,

"Ryan, wake up, we've got a problem." I sat up groggily, rubbing my eyes,

"Wazzup, Viyl?"

She hauled me to my feet, "A fight broke out on the floor, there's too many for Brick to handle on his own. We called the cops, but he needs your help."

I rolled my shoulders, "Alright."

I went out to the main floor, most of the customers had flared out to the outer edges of the club, there was roughly a dozen in the middle, all clearly drunk and brawling. I hopped down from the booth, putting some extra weight into the landing, contacting with a meaty thud. Most of the patrons on the outer edges looked at me, silently asking for help. I cracked my neck and looked back at Vinyl, "How intact do you want them?"

She looked back at me, "Try to not do much damage, don't want them dying in here."

I nodded and looked back at the group, "Alright, lads, time to break it up!"

A dozen tendrils slithered out of my back, wrapping around them tightly and tearing them away from each other. I scowled at them, more than a little annoyed to have to be woken up from my sleep by a bunch of drunk pricks who decided to fight in Vinyl's club, "Now then, who's with who here?"

After a minute of them changing between shouting at each other and myself, I stomped my foot down, redoubling the tendrils wrapping around them, tightening their grip. I was in no mood to be dealing with this at the moment, "Shut up!"

That silenced most of them, I looked at one that looked a bit more cooled down than the others, "You." He turned to look at me, he must have been on the outer edges of the brawl, "Who started this?" He pointed at a pale green pegasus and a dusty brown earth pony. I brought them to me, "You two started this fight?" The pegasus nodded slightly, the earth pony glared at me murderously. I looked at them, "Gentlemen, I've gotten all of four hours of sleep in the last two days, and I don't appreciate having to have been woken up because you decided to start a fight in my club on my first night on the job. Now then, I'm going to ask nicely, but I will only ask once: Settle your differences now or get the hell out." I caught a glimpse of a unicorn's horn glowing,

"Buck you, asshole!"

There was a brief flash, then there was a flare of pain in my head. I had assumed it was the headache, but judging by the gasps and the way the two ponies in front of me were staring, that was not the case. I took a deep breath, "Vinyl, real quick, did something just hit me in the head?"

There was a long pause, "U-uh, y-yeah..."

I sighed, "What was it?"

She audibly gulped, "A knife..."

I looked at the two in front of me, "There's a knife sticking out of my head, isn't there?" They nodded slowly. I felt on the side of my head until I found the handle and yanked it out of my temple, sending another flare of pain through my brain, "I also don't appreciate getting stabbed in the head. In fact, for that, you all can just get out. Vinyl, tell the police that the perpetrators will be gift-wrapped for them at the front door." More tendrils snaked out of my back, wrapping around the ponies until they were completely wrapped from the neck down. I carried them out one by one, stacking them by the front door. Everyone was still in a stunned silence when I walked back in after bringing out the last few. I looked around, still too tired to feel any kind of anxiety, settling on Vinyl,

"Brick alright?" She nodded slightly,

"He's a little bruised up, but he'll be fine."

I nodded, looking around at the club. I let out a small chuckle, "Ladies and gentlemen, please, don't worry, I'm fine, don't let your fun be spoiled on my behalf. Come on, Vinyl, we've still got more than an hour left, let's not finish with a whimper like this!"

I hopped back up onto the stage, looking around, "Will I have to say pretty please? Come on, people, you came here to party, and Vinyl and I have both failed at our jobs if we don't ensure that happens, now get moving!" I pressed the play button and walked to the back room again, falling asleep immediately.

I was woken up once again by being shaken awake by Vinyl,

"Ryan, wake up, it's closing time." I shook my head, eyes peeling open. Vinyl was looking at me with more than a touch of apprehension. I got up,

"Alright, just need everything put away and cleaned?"

She shook her head, "Don't worry about that, it's done with already. Everypony kind of cleared out after your...confrontation with those guys. Suds, Brick and I cleaned up while you were sleeping."

I smiled slightly, "Thanks, Vinyl, I appreciate it."

She looked at me, seeming concerned, "You okay?"

I looked at her, "Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

She shifted slightly, "Dude, tentacles shot out of your back, grabbed a bunch of guys, then you got stabbed in the head, why else would I be asking?"

I stopped. I guess I had gotten so used to dealing with that kind of thing on a regular basis, I didn't realize that it was considered pretty freaky amongst more normal people. I nodded quickly, trying to sound reassuring, "Yes, Vinyl, I'm sure I'm fine. I've already died twice, some punk with a knife isn't going to make it three."

That didn't seem to help, as Vinyl started looking at me like I just grew a second head, "What?"

I waved my hand dismissively, "Just, don't worry about it, I'm fine. So, anyway, how did I do as a DJ?"

She kept looking at me with the same look, it was reminding me way too much of some of the looks I got back home, "Vinyl, don't worry about me, I'm fine, okay?"

I snapped at her. She flinched, I slammed my mouth shut, feeling myself losing ground by the second, "I'm sorry, Vinyl."

I pushed away everything else in my mind, just trying to sound soothing enough to calm her down. I knelt down a put a hand on her shoulder, "I promise, Vinyl, I'm okay. Okay?"

She nodded slightly, "Sorry, didn't realize you could do things like that, wasn't really prepared"

I nodded, "Don't worry about it. Now then, how would you say I did for my first set?"

She stopped in thought for a moment, "Well, there's good news and bad news. Bad news is you set was okay, at best, looked like most of the excitement was from seeing the new guy in town all of a sudden playing in here. Good news is, you said you worked on that set for 15 hours, right?" I nodded, "In that case, you definitely have the dedication to get DJ'ing down pat. Take tomorrow off, I'll see you next Friday, or sooner, if you want to come for advice." She gave me a small drawstring bag filled with coins, "Here's your first paycheck. Spend it wisely."

It probably wasn't the most tactful thing, but I couldn't help but break out into a big, stupid grin and hug Vinyl, who let out a surprised squeak, "Thank you, Vinyl, truly and honestly."

She patted my back after a moment, "Hey, no problem, definitely don't want to get you mad, right?"

She grinned back at me. I got up, "So, I'll see you later, then." She nodded, "Take it easy, Ryan."

That grin persisted all the way back home. It was quiet as the dead when I got back, the fire put out, Twilight and Spike asleep upstairs. I hung up my clothes and got into bed, looking out at Princess Luna's moon hanging in the sky. I have a home, I have friends, a job, and I just got my first paycheck at that job, the neighbors are starting to accept me. I'm starting to become normal again.

Unexpected Guests

It had been four days since the events at Club PON-3, I was working on a cheap laptop I got with the paycheck. It was around midday, things were pretty quiet, Twilight had lent out a few books, Rarity had stopped in for a chat with Twilight, not much else. Well, until half past noon, anyway. There was a brilliant flash in the living room, bright enough to see through my door in a room filled with light. When I opened the door, Princess Celestia was standing in the middle of the library, Twilight was kneeling at her hooves. Celestia let out that amused and calming little laugh that every mother seems to have master, you know the one,

"Rise, my student, this is merely a social visit." Twilight got back up,

"Well, it's a good time, I have some time in my schedule for now." I stepped out of the doorway, unable to not smile. I bowed to her,

"Your Highness, it is good to see you again."

She turned to face me, "Ah, Mister O'Connor, just the one I was hoping to see."

I cocked an eyebrow at her, "Oh? You came all this way to see me, Princess?"

She nodded, "Of course. As one of the rulers of this land, I consider it my duty to ensure that new citizens of Equestria are integrating well. Especially ones as distinguished as yourself."

I chuckled, "Making sure the freak show is staying under control?"

She returned the chuckle, "If that is what you wish to call it, then sure."

I nodded, "Well, I promise, I've been good, for the most part. I've got a job, get along well enough with most of the neighbors, and I like to think I haven't made myself too much of a burden for Miss Sparkle."

Twilight shook her head, "Far from it, Ryan's perfectly welcome to stay as long as he wants."

I smiled at her and looked at Celestia, "She's also been a gracious host. She may be the single biggest reason I'm employed at the moment."

Twilight blushed slightly, Celestia nodded, maintaining that same warm smile, "That is very good to hear, Ryan. I only have one question: You said you've been behaving for the most part. Would you care to elaborate?"

I stuck my hands in my pockets, "My first night on the job, a fight broke out in the club where I work, was too big of a brawl for security to handle it, so I stepped in. No one was seriously hurt, but one of them got a good shot in on me."

Her smile faded slightly, "I see. How severe was your injury?"

I shrugged, "Nothing too serious, unicorn put a knife in my temple, but it was closed back up in a couple of minutes."

Her eyes widened slightly, "You were stabbed in the side of your head?"

I put up a hand to stop her, "I know where you're going with that line of thought, Princess, and I want you to keep in mind that I have a non-centralized nervous system, all of my organs are completely superfluous, as well as having a very effective healing capability, thousands of times faster than the average human. In addition to that, I ensured that I, personally, was involved in the conflict as little as possible, leaving it to the local authorities. I only intervened to ensure that they didn't hurt each other or anyone else any more than they already had."

She nodded slightly, "I see. Well, I commend you for your actions, and thank you for showing self-restraint, despite more than hostile actions from others. That being said, I do request that you do not demonstrate your abilities for now unless necessary, we do not wish to unnerve the residents of Ponyville."

I nodded to her, "Of course, Princess, I wouldn't want to scare off my new neighbors just after I got on friendly terms with them."

Her smile returned, "I am glad to hear how well you are taking all this, despite how large of a change it was in your life."

I thought back to Earth, "Perhaps, Princess, but it was a far from unwelcome change. As I've said, I didn't exactly leave Earth on very good terms with quite a few of its residents."

She looked at me sympathetically, "I understand, Mister O'Connor."

I nodded to her, "I appreciate it, Princess."

Her smile widened a hair, "On another note, my younger sister, Princess Luna, has requested to meet you. Will you be available tonight?"

I nodded thoughtfully. Finally meeting Equestria's other ruler, "Yes, I'll be open tonight. When was she thinking of coming?"

She paused for a moment in thought, "Would 10 o'clock suit you?"

I nodded, "Of course, anything for the Princess of the Night."

She nodded, "Excellent. And how have you been, Twilight? Has living with Ryan been suiting you?"

Twilight nodded vigorously, "It's been great, Princess. Ryan's been really helpful, and very informative about the human race. And he's very kind, and strong, and..." She stopped mid-sentence, a touch of red at her cheeks. She cleared her throat, "Uhm, I mean, yes, it's been nice having him here."

Celestia smiled at her warmly, "That is good to hear, my student. You have been keeping yourself busy?"

She nodded again, "Of course, Princess Celestia, I'm always busy."

Celestia let out another quiet laugh, "Then I look forward to your next report, Twilight."

The young mare smiled at her teacher, "I'll make sure Spike sends it over at the usual time on Friday."

Celestia nodded to her, "I will see you soon, Twilight. You as well, Ryan."

With that, she teleported back to Canterlot again, leaving Twilight and I looking at each other, "And what exactly did that mean?"

She shrugged, "Princess Celestia can be cryptic at times." I helped her pick up a couple of books that fell when Celestia left,

"Does she have any kind of precognitive abilities?"

Twilight returned to her chair, "Couldn't say. Princess Celestia has immense power, there aren't many abilities I wouldn't put past her, precognition included."

I nodded slightly, "Guess we'll find out when we find out, then."

She nodded in agreement, "It'll be nice seeing Princess Luna, again. I haven't gotten a chance to see her since last Nightmare Night."

A small smile touched her mouth. I nodded, "The meeting of two pariahs. Should certainly be interesting."

That got a small giggle from her, "I'm sure you two will get along."

I looked out the window, "Certainly seems like it'll be good weather for a first meeting, nice and clear. Well, I should get back to work." I could hear her open her book once again, "Have fun."

I decided to get some fresh air before the meeting with Princess Luna, and found myself standing on one of the higher branches jutting from the library, looking out over Ponyville. It was a clean, crisp evening, not too warm, not too cold, a crystal-clear view of the sky. It was strange, seeing the stars and constellations so clearly, never saw any of that where I had grown up. There was the usual cluster of ponies out by Club PON-3, the bass from whatever was playing barely audible from my perch. The usual nocturnal wildlife was out, an owl here, a couple of bats over there, it was all so picturesque,

"Beautiful, isn't it?" I nearly fell off of the branch, instead opting to whirl around at the source of the statement, and found myself looking straight at Equestria's other diarch. Midnight blue coat, turquoise eyes, black markings at the rear of her flank, crescent-moon cutie mark, light figure, but not weak, you could feel the strength in her presence. It was different from Celestia's, though, hers was like a mountain, solid, never moving, eternal. Luna's was like a river, constantly in motion, quick, could change at any time,

"Easy there, hunter, don't think consuming one of the two country's leaders would do much good for our reputation." Fail quipped. I cleared my throat, realizing I had been staring for a moment, looking back out over the town,

"Very much so."

She let out a small giggle, "We assume thou hast lived much of thine life inside of cities."

I looked back at her, "Oh? Why is that?"

She trotted over, "By the way thou art looking at our sky. Very few from the countryside ever appreciate our stars, as they are always with them."

I chuckled, "Okay, okay, you got me, I'm a city kid, through and through. But, that doesn't mean I don't appreciate nighttime, regardless, it can be beautiful from anywhere."

A small smile brushed across her face, "Thine own night goddess must feel quite loved, with praise such as that."

I nodded, not bothering to get into the topic of deities on Earth. I turned to her and bowed deeply, "It is a pleasure to meet you, Princess Luna."

She inclined her head respectfully, "And you, Ryan O'Connor."

She seemed a bit restless, like she was still out of practice with formal meetings. It seemed reasonable, she had been roughly a millennium out of practice. I looked at her, letting wings sprout from my back, "Think you can talk and fly at the same time?"

She returned the look, a competitive grin spreading up one side of her mouth, "We certainly can."

I felt the grin spread to me, "Edge of town and back?"

She nodded, "Threetwoonego." She took off like a rocket, I barely even saw her go. I pushed off, going as quickly as I could, trying to catch up to her,

"I like her already!" Fail yelled over the wind.

I stomped on the gas, managing to catch up to her, "In pretty good shape for royalty!" I called to her.

She looked over at me, a wry grin on her face, "The Night Court tends to stay rather quiet! Besides, we don't want to be getting a flank like our sister's!" She called back.

We flew in silence for a short while, shooting past the edge of town, going over the Everfree Forest, silent except for the wind in my ears. We finally came to rest in a clearing, the darkness outside of it absolute. We sat across from each other, I could hear Luna panting slightly. She looked at me, a pleased smile on her face,

"We are glad to find another who can keep pace with us." I retracted my wings and returned the smile,

"It helps to have been running for your life every day for the past 3 weeks." She nodded somberly, the smile fading,

"Yes, we sympathize with your situation, Mr. O'Connor. We are familiar with the feeling of being seen in an unfavorable light by many."

I got up and went over to her, "Look on the bright side, Princess, you did a much better job of getting back into the good graces of the people than I did."

She looked at me, curious, "How so?"

I knelt down, "Well, you had the Nightmare removed from you, you walked amongst the people last Nightmare Night, showed them you aren't what you were. I just died and ended up in a place much more tolerant of individuals like myself."

She nodded again, "But we feel we are still on a long road to fully being accepted in Equestria again."

I shrugged, "I'm on that same road, Luna. I'll walk it with you, if you want."

The smile barely returned to her face, "Thank you, Mr. O'Connor, we appreciate your kind words."

I cocked an eyebrow at her, "Come on, let's see a big smile on that face."

She chuckled slightly, "We assure you, Mr. O'Connor, we're quite fine."

I thought for a moment, a cheeky grin spreading across my face, "When the night, has come. And the land is dark." I couldn't do an impression of Ben King to save my life, but damned if I wasn't trying, "And the moon, is the only, light we'll see." I must have either sounded awful or great, because a grand smile broke out on Luna's face. It seemed even Equestria wasn't safe from Mr. King, "No I won't, be afraid. No I won't, be afraid." I swept her back up to her feet, and arm over her, leaning into the ridiculousness of my musical number, "Just so long, as you stand, stand by me!"

She suddenly joined in with me, "So darling, darling, stand, by me! Oh stand, by me! Ooh stand, stand by me, stand by me!" We went through the whole song, swaying back and forth like a couple of idiots, but damned if it didn't feel good to do. We collapsed into fits of laughter when we finished, Luna looked at me, nearly crying from laughter,

"How did you know we loved that song?" I looked at her once I got my laughter under control,

"Because everybody loves that song, no exceptions."

We stood there, smiling stupidly for another minute before we got under control again, "I should probably get back home, Twilight's probably freaking out that I just flew out into the night without saying anything."

She nodded, "We'll fly back with you."
We took off and flew back without another word, taking our time to look at all the sights. We landed a couple of blocks from the Library, opting to walk the rest of the way. It must have been past midnight when we got back, stopping at the door. I smiled down at her,

"That was nice." She smiled back,

"Indeed it was."

I couldn't help but chuckle, "God, it sounds like we just came back from our first date."

She laughed quietly, "We suppose it does. It was a pleasure meeting you, Mister O'Connor."

I shook my head slightly, "Please, to you it's just Ryan."

Her smile widened, "Then we suppose you may simply call us Luna."

I inclined my head to her, "If that's what you want, Luna." We exchanged a friendly smile, "I'll see you around."

She nodded, "Be seeing you, Ryan." With that she took off into her night, gone in an instant. I headed back inside to find Twilight waiting right by the door, looking more than a tad worried,

"Where were you?" I looked at her, still smiling,

"Meeting Princess Luna."

That gave her pause, "O-oh. Well, how was that?"

The smile persisted, "She's nice, we got along well."

She smiled at me slightly, "See? I told you you'd get along with her."

I nodded, "You did, indeed. I'm glad you were right, too, seemed like it had been a long time since the poor girl had a friend, save for Celestia."

She nodded somberly, "It's one of the shortcomings of being royalty, the Princesses hardly have any time to themselves."

I shrugged, "Things are how they are, can't do anything but deal with it."

We stood there in silence for a moment, "Well, I'm gonna go to bed."

She nodded slightly, "Okay, sleep tight."

I smiled at her, "You too."

I got in bed, looking out at the night sky, the moon was full that night, the stars twinkling brightly, crickets chirping quietly out in the distance,

"Hmm, maybe we should get with Luna inst-" "Shut up, Fail."

Encore

The lights were good, the sound system checked, bar stools out, bar ready. I glanced at the clock, 8:55, almost showtime. I loaded up the new mix I had been working on the last few days and nights. Vinyl was looking over my shoulder,

"You ready?" I nodded, slipping my mask on,

"Show must go on, right?"

She nodded, smiling fiercely, "Might be even more spirited than I am."

I started up the mix as the first patrons flowed in, "Go and get ready, I can handle myself for now."

She looked at me, "Just don't hurt anyone."

I let out an amused snort, "You worry too much, Vinyl."

She shook her head, suppressing a chuckle, "I hope so. Good luck." She trotted backstage, and I looked out across the already sizable crowd,

"Let's show 'em what we got."

The set passed without incident, the crowd even seemed to enjoy the set itself. The remainder of the night followed suit, as well, a few customers who had too many got a bit rowdy, but aside from that, all was quiet. We closed up on time, everything was cleaned and packed away by 4:30. Vinyl trotted over to me as I was putting away the last few glasses for the bar,

"Hey, I got a few extra things I need to bring home, think you can help me carry them?" I quickly put away everything else, turning to face her,

"Sure." There was a sizable pile of equipment by the door, along with a few zipped-up duffel bags on either side. I slung the bags across my shoulders, we started making our way to her home, "So, you think I did better this time?"

She nodded slightly, "Yeah, I'd say so. Transitions were smoother, track selection was a world better than before. You're showing a lot of progress."

I felt a pleased grin tug at the corners of my mouth, encouraged by the praise, "Cool. Any suggestions for improvement?"

She adjusted her grip on the equipment, "Lemme listen to the mix again when we get to my place, I'll give you the specifics." We made our way to her home without another word. It was a decent-sized place, Vinyl was certainly doing well for herself in the DJ'ing business. I let out an awed whistle, she glanced at me, "You like?"

I nodded, "Yeah. All this from a club in a small town?"

She got the door open, "You'd be surprised how many ponies enjoy clubbing here. You can just leave the bags on the couch, I'll sort them out later." I glanced around the house, a lot of white paint, ultra-modern looking furniture,

"I wonder how big the bed is..."

I quickly tuned out Fail, setting down the bags. Vinyl glanced back at me, "Come on, sound room is just up here."

She led me down a hallway off of the living room, leading to a particularly solid-looking door, definitely sound-proofed. We entered the room to be greeted by the sight by a literal wall of speakers. The room looked to be about 12 feet cubed, the walls lined with what almost looked like shag carpeting. There was a small booth in front of the speakers, a couple of laptops and a mixing board on the tabletop, wiring going into the floor, presumably to the speakers. I gave an experimental snap of my fingers, there wasn't even a hint of an echo from it, "Wow..."

Vinyl grinned back at me, "I take my work very seriously."

I nodded dumbly, still struck by the thousands upon thousands of watts worth of speakers pointed straight at me, "I can tell."

She went over to the booth, starting everything up. There was a low hum in the room, almost like the auditory equivalent of the static you get from switching on an old CRT television. I felt a small tingle going up my spine, a subtle feeling of reverence towards the sheer amount of power and cost of the equipment in front of me. I shook it off and took out the drive I kept my mixes on and handed it to Vinyl. She plugged it in and started it up, keeping the volume low, but even still I could feel every beat rattle my bones.

We spent the next half hour or so discussing what I did wrong in the set, thankfully the list wasn't too long. A few sloppy transitions here, an out of place track there, et cetera. Vinyl walked me to the door,

"So, you think you'll be able to do better by tomorrow?" I nodded,

"Yeah, that advice really helps."

She grinned slightly, "Cool, I'll see you tomorrow, then."

I returned the grin and had turned to the door when I felt Fail appear on my shoulder,

"Hey, just letting you know, he wants you, like a lot."

I instinctively swatted for him, but he dodged my hand. I could practically feel Vinyl's eyes on me, "Oh, really?"

Fail darted away from a couple more swipes from me, "You have no idea."

Safe finally appeared, tackling Fail and disappearing in a puff of smoke. I stood stock still, not sure what to say, not looking at Vinyl. I felt one of her hooves settle on my shoulder, the other tracing tiny circles on the back of my neck. I could feel her breath on me, she spoke playfully, "Is that true, Ryan?" Unsure of what else to do, I just nodded slowly. She kept up the playful tone, "You have a crush on little old me?" I was split between processing my current situation and planning Fail's death, so I just nodded again. Both lines of thought ceased when she spun me around and pushed me up against the nearest wall, her hooves on my chest, muzzle inches from my face, "Well, I've never had much of a problem with experimentation."

I hadn't had a pulse in over a month, yet I could still hear my heart pounding in my ears. She leaned up, her lips brushing against mine lightly, "You're welcome!"

She looked at me seductively, "You game?"

With Safe wrestling with Fail, and my own mind overwhelmed with shock, my mental faculties were still operating at roughly 5% power, so I simply nodded mindlessly again. She led me up to her bedroom, pushing me down on top of the bed. The answer to Fail's question was King. She straddled my waist, kissing me hungrily. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into it. She tasted like white rum and lemon. Her mane was in my face, but it was okay, all that mattered was that she was there with me, and that I wasn't dreaming. I slid my hands down to her waistline, feeling her coat beneath my fingers. She gently pushed my hands back up, "Don't get too far ahead of yourself, cowpony."

I felt a growl rumble up to my throat, I bit it back. We went on like that for another few minutes, ending up with her lying next to me, tracing circles on my chest with her hoof, smiling slightly. I was just looking up at the ceiling, keeping my expression as far from the dead fish impression it should have been as possible. She looked at me and gave me another quick kiss, "Been a while for you, hasn't it?"

I nodded slightly, "Haven't really gotten a chance for...intimate encounters in a while."

She chuckled lowly, "Well, how would you rate that one?"

I didn't even have to think about it, "Ten out of ten."

She chuckled again, snuggling up to me, "Good to hear that I'm a good performer here, too." We lay there in silence for a minute or so before she sat up, "So, I'll see you tomorrow?"

I looked at her, "I don't get to stay the night?"

She shook her head slightly, "No offense, Ryan, you're a great guy, but I don't want to do anything like that until it looks like this'll be a more permanent thing. You do want this to be a more permanent thing, right?"

I sat up quickly, nodding vigorously, "Definitely."

She smiled sweetly and kissed my cheek, "I'll see you at 7."

I got up, glancing out the window, the sky was just starting to light up with the new day. I pulled my hood up, stuck my hands in my pockets, and returned to the Library, not even bothering to undress to get into bed,

"You owe me, Boss."

"Yes, and I'm going to make us even by not killing you."

Fail appeared on my desk with a cocky grin on, "I had to do something, god knows you weren't going to."

I felt the corners of my mouth turn up in amusement, I swatted at him lazily while suppressing a chuckle, "Pint-sized prick."

He hopped up onto my hand, walking up my arm and back into my head, "You know you love me, Boss."

I grabbed my pillow, pulled the covers over myself, and went to sleep, the taste of white rum and lemon still on my tongue.

This Is Why I'm Not A Morning Person

It was the Tuesday after my...encounter with Vinyl at her place. Twilight had been poking and prodding as to what made me that much more cheerful all of a sudden, I kept feeding her some lines about finally having a job. I didn't want to say anything about Vinyl and I before things became more definite between us. She seemed to believe it well enough, and didn't ask about it any further. I had gone out for a walk around the town, get some fresh air after being inside almost every waking moment since Friday. Everyone was acting friendly enough, a few odd looks here and there, but no one was running for the hills yet. There were a few ponies that had been following me the last couple of minutes, I assumed they were just gawkers, come to look at the big and wondrous shape-shifter. I passed through the market, stands going down the street as far as the eye could see, and a small sea of ponies, all shopping. A pegasus flew up over the rooftops and yelled something to the crowd. Everyone turned their heads at once in the direction of the pegasus, I think his name was Short Stop, he repeated himself,

"RUNAWAY CART!"

Right up ahead was an intersection, choked with ponies shopping, rapidly turning into a mosh pit of ponies trying to get out of the way of the inbound cart. I saw it racing down the street towards the crowd, easily going 40mph. If they didn't get out of the way soon, there were going to be pieces. Distance to initial point of cart's impact, 15.3 meters; Time to impact, 6 seconds; Probability of route being clear by then: Low. Even if they did get clear, the cart didn't look like it was going to stop any time soon. I started shoving my way through the crowd to the throng of ponies at the intersection, keeping my eyes locked on where the cart would first hit. There were three ponies that'd take the first hit, two fillies and a mare who appeared to be their mother. Time to impact, 4 seconds. I forced my way through the crowd to them, grabbing each, speaking with the kind of authority only afforded through imminent doom headed towards innocents,

"Behind me, now."

They obeyed without question, quickly getting as far behind me as they could. Time to impact, 2 seconds. I shifted all of my weight to my legs and dropped to one knee, I could feel the dirt compress under my weight. I crossed my arms in front of me, forming the strongest shield I could make at a moment's notice. Time to impact, 0.5 se-smash. Apparently someone had decided it was a good idea to put roughly 800 kilograms worth of anvils on a 70 kilogram cart and have a pegasus that weighed half as much as the cart push the whole thing uphill. When I let the shield dissolve, I found myself looking at a heap of smashed metal, along with more than a few shocked ponies staring at me. I took my weight off of my feet and looked back at the mare and fillies, "You alright?"

They nodded slightly, shaking like leaves, the fillies looked ready to cry, the mother was trying to calm them. Short Stop came rushing over a moment later, looking plenty out of breath, half exertion and half panic,

"Is everypony okay?"

I got back to my feet, dusting off my jeans, and turned to face him, "No one was harmed."

He let out a huge sigh of relief, "Oh, thank Celestia, I thought for sure that somepony was going to get killed. All because of my stupid mistake."

I put up a hand to stop him, "Were you the only one moving that cart?" He nodded, "Who is your manager?"

He landed, shifting slightly, "His name is Tight Shift, he runs the moving company I work at."

I felt my fists curling and uncurling, "And he thought you were able to move that cart on your own?" He nodded again, "Where is Mr. Shift at the moment?"

As if on cue, said earth pony came sprinting down the street, coming to a dead stop a few feet away from Short Stop, marching over to him, eyes alight with anger,

"You incompetent little buckwit! Do you know how much that is going to cost me?"

Short Stop shrank under the abuse of his manager, "N-no, sir, I don't know."

Tight Shift loomed over him, "A whole bucking lot, that's how much! By Celestia, I should fire you right now."

Panic sparked in Short Stop's eyes, "No, please, sir, I need this job."

I felt anger bubble up in me as Tight Shift looked at Short Stop viciously, "Well, tough horseapples, Short Stop, you're fi-"

"Shut the fuck up."

Both snapped to look at me, Short Stop with an expression of shock, Tight Shift leaning much more towards indignant anger, "I wasn't talking to you, you hairless ape."

A faint red tint asserted itself over my vision, "Well I'm talking to you."

Tight Shift fully turned to face me, "I don't care how special ponies think you are, you don't get to talk to me like that."

I knelt down to his eye level, keeping my voice even, "Why did you have Short Stop try to move close to a metric ton of steel uphill?"

He gestured vaguely to the pegasus in question, "I didn't think the turkey was so weak and clueless that he could buck up a simple delivery."

I locked my jaw in place, the crowd behind us had gone dead silent, "So you expect him to move 25 times his own weight uphill, and he's the clueless one?"

I caught a whiff of his breath, it smelled like he drank pretty regularly. He had a bit of a beer gut, a dirty off-white coat, there was a small band of fur near one hoof that seemed to have been compressed. Recently removed wedding band, maybe? I knew that ponies customarily wore bands of metal around their hooves when they got hitched, similar to wedding rings on humans. Likely recently divorced. He didn't flinch at my reasoning, "If he knew anything about manual labor, he'd know to work smart, not hard."

I felt the all-too irritating feeling of arguing with someone that just plain isn't smart, "At that level, either one becomes an impossibility without any special equipment, which I am not seeing on Short Stop, the cart, or you."

He set his mouth in a hard line, "Even still, he could've at least put in some kind of effort to stop it."

I swung my arm back to point at the crowd behind me, "Had I not intervened, there would be 23 ponies dead, 9 severely wounded, in this plaza alone. If that cart had kept going, there would have been further deaths and injuries. I don't think there is a judge in this country that would buy that line that you just fed me about working smart when the pony in question weighs a twenty-fifth of the cargo he was pushing, which you had him do alone and with no equipment."

A crack appeared in his facade, "Well, it can't be entirely my fault if that hap-"

I cut him off, feeling venom taint my voice, "Yes it could. How would you have enjoyed 23-plus accounts of involuntary manslaughter and dozens of accounts of reckless endangerment?"

That gave him pause, "I don't think I would enjoy that much at all."

I shot a vicious glare at him, "Get a crew out here to clean up this mess, and give Short Stop a raise for saving your sorry hide from those lawsuits by warning everyone of the cart." I got up and walked off before he could respond. The crowd parted without a word, I stalked off with my hands in my pockets.

It was maybe an hour later that I passed by a dilapidated building, it looked like it could have been something akin to a church at one point, but it had clearly been a long time since it had served any kind of purpose. One feature stood out more than anything else, though. It had the design on the back of my jacket painted on the front in pain-staking detail. I stared at it for a moment, making sure I was seeing it correctly, and damned if it was, a perfect copy of the design. I went to the front door and cracked it open, peeking in, to find a sight I certainly didn't expect to find. The interior of the building was restored almost perfectly, pews cleaned and re-stained to a mirror finish, not a trace of mold or dust in the whole place. Even stranger was the fact that there was roughly a dozen ponies in the first couple of rows. At the altar stood an older pegasus, and behind him was a stained glass depiction of myself, claws on one hand, armor on the other, nearly fifteen feet high,

"What the hell...?"

"It would seem that we have spawned a religion, Boss."

The pegasus at the altar hadn't seemed to notice me yet. He had a brown coat, slowly fading to white on his wings, as well as a grey mane and tail, cut short. His eyes were a faded blue, alight with fervor and a new purpose in life, which seemed to be worshiping me. He was standing at the altar, speaking to his congregation,

"...selflessly saving the lives of many ponies in the Market today. He was their salvation, as he will be ours."

The members of his flock all nodded and uttered what sounded like a prayer. They were of various ages and races, all shapes and sizes. There was one colt that looked like he was maybe 14, if not younger, "Anyone else getting just a little creeped out by this?"

I craned my neck to try and get a better view of the church, but unfortunately that made the door squeak what seemed to be loud enough to wake up the whole town, only further amplified by the church's massive interior. Every pony in the building snapped to look at me, their eyes lighting up with reverence when they saw me. They rose from their seats, coming over and kneeling in front of me, looking at the ground, not uttering a word. The pegasus trotted over just after them, he didn't kneel, but he did keep his head down, "Your Eminence."

I stood there in silence, looking at the ponies around me, 25 all together, most of them looked relatively young as far as I could tell. Rebellious youths looking for something to believe in, I guess,

"If I may, Boss, maybe we should stay a little while, see if they are just harmless fans or an issue to be addressed."

I nodded to the pegasus politely, "What is your name?"

He looked up at me, filled with awe, "White Wing, Your Eminence."

I looked around the building properly, still surprised at how complete the restoration was, "Tell me, White Wing, what is this place?"

He allowed himself a small, prideful smile, "It is our temple, dedicated to you."

The other ponies were glancing at me furtively, quickly looking back down when I looked across them, "And who exactly is 'we'?"

White Wing gestured to the group, "We are the Order of New Life."

I nodded thoughtfully, looking at the kneeling ponies, "You may stand if you wish to."

There was a brief moment of total silence before the first stood, she was a unicorn, dark blue-grey coat, black mane, a couple of piercings, seemed like the stereotypical goth girl. She was also the first to look directly at me, while the others were still rising. She seemed less nervous than the others, it almost looked like she was prepared to meet me. I looked back to White Wing, "Would you lower your head a moment?" He did so without argument, the others watching intently. I walked up to him, placing my hand on the top of his head, hair-thin tendrils slipping out of my hand and going into his ears, "You will feel a slight pinch."

He flinched slightly as the tendrils pierced his skull and connected to his brain. There was a sudden explosion of imagery and memories blazing through my head as I began reading him. 59, unmarried, never received his cutie mark, no signs of significant mental instability, saw my arrival and story as inspiring, believing if I could get a second chance, so could he, and founded the Order on that principal, inviting all blank flanks to join, and to worship me as the symbol of second chances, "A bit strange, but his intentions seem harmless enough. I would advise remaining formal and neutral for the time being."

I retracted the tendrils, stepping back. White Wing shuddered from the disconnect, stumbling slightly, "W-what was that, Your Eminence?"

The others were looking at me, their expressions ranging from fascination to barely-concealed revulsion, "It was...a test. You passed."

The unicorn mare suddenly stepped up, "Will you give us your blessing?"

White Wing snapped back to look at her, "Hold your tongue, child."

I put up a hand to stop him, studying her, "And what is your name?"

She looked at me steadily, clearly trying to look brave, "Ice Dancer."

I watched her for a moment, noting her body language. Chest puffed out, taking short breaths, standing tall, ever-so-slight shaking in the knees. She made a point of maintaining eye contact, hers were a deep purple, like so many protagonists in those shoddy romance novels you find in bookstores. I kept looking at her as my hand shifted to claws, "Very well, Ice Dancer, you may have my blessing."

They watched me silently as I made my way to the altar. Generously sized, made of smooth, if roughly-hewn, granite, it felt oddly comforting to touch. I placed my clawed hand flat on the altar and excreted a mild acid from the blades, burning an etch of my hand into the stone. I looked out to the crowd of ponies in front of me, "May you all have a second chance, as I did."

I left without another word, White Wing's following watching me silently. As I closed the door to my church behind me and seeing the sun again, there was only one thought on my mind, "I need a coffee."

An Invitation and Hot Coffee

I quickly made my way to the nearest cafe, trendy little place called Marebucks. I ordered my coffee and sat in silence outside, looking around at all the ponies in the cafe and all that were passing by it. I let my mind drift, just enjoying the warmth of the sun on my face and the taste of the coffee. This was interrupted by the arrival of a certain purple mare that I had been staying with, who was positively beaming at that moment. I flashed her a pleasant smile as she came over to my table,

"Morning, Twilight." There seemed to be a slight air of hesitation about her as she came over and sat across from me,

"Good morning, Ryan."

It was kind of strange, seeing her out of the Library, walking around town. I guess I hadn't really seen her outside of the Library up until that point, wasn't used to seeing her in any other setting yet. Despite her apparent hesitation, she still seemed very excited about something, "So, what's got you so chipper this morning?"

She reached into her saddlebag and pulled out two golden tickets, barely containing her excitement, "Princess Celestia invited the girls and I to the Grand Galloping Gala!"

I raised an eyebrow, impressed at the thought, "If I remember correctly, the Grand Galloping Gala is a very prestigious event, only those considered the most elite ever attend. Princess Celestia is even supposed to personally greet each guest at the door."

I nodded, thinking about it. Admittedly, it was probably just some overblown get-together for all the obnoxious upper-upper-class members of society where they all discuss the usual pointless gossip and brag about how much money they had, "Cool. Are you taking Spike with you or something?"

The brightness faded from her face, entirely overtaken by nervousness, "Well, actually, that's why I came to find you..." She cleared her throat and looked at me, "Do you think you would go with me to the Gala? Everypony gets a plus-one, and Spike didn't want to go."

I paused, considering the thought. I supposed I'd have to interact with the upper-class at one point or another, might as well get used to them while I'm here. I smiled slightly and nodded to her, "Sure, I'll go with you. When is it?"

She blushed slightly, and I heard a slight groan from Fail and Safe, "I-it's in 2 days, at Canterlot Castle. We would have to leave around 6 to get there in time."

A thought suddenly popped into my head, remembering a pair of trees on a hilltop I passed when I was racing with Luna, "Say, Twilight, about how far is Canterlot from here?"

She thought about it for a moment as the mischievous little gears started turning in my head, "About 30 kilometers, why?"

I cracked a slight grin, "And when does the Gala actually begin?"

"At 8 o'clock sharp. Why do you ask?"

The grin widened, "I might know a way that can get us there much quicker, and without having to deal with getting on or off at any train stations."

She looked at me, curious, "And what would that be?"

I shook my head, "Just meet me by the hill near the edge of town, the one with the two trees on it."

She gave me an odd look, but nodded slowly, "Okay..."

I gave her a bright smile, "Great. Listen, I've got a few things I need to take care of now. I'll see you later, alright?"

She nodded slightly, "Alright, see you soon, Ryan."

I got up, quickly paid for my coffee, and headed off in the direction of the hill in question.

That night, my final copy returned from his destination,

"The trajectory is clear and the velocity is good, sir."

I grinned, pleased with my little experiment. If Twilight and I were going to spend the night with a bunch of boring aristocrats and politicians, the trip may as well be fun. The copy reintegrated itself without a word, I absorbed all the constructs I had been working on, and started on my way home. On the trip back, I heard the sounds of a scuffle in a nearby alley. I peeked in and saw Ice Dancer, slightly crouched and looking defiant, in front of two bigger stallions looking at her in a less-than-friendly manner,

"Come on, Icee, we promise it won't hurt that bad. It'll only take 5 minutes."

I could practically feel her anger flare from where I was,

"Buck you!"

The stallion that spoke first grinned cruelly, "That's the idea."

"Are they fucking being for real?"

"It would appear so. We must intervene."

This girl barely looked like she was even of age, and these two pricks are going to do t͓̣͔̪͉̳̞͡h̝̗̭i̟͈̯͎̮̝̜͜s to her in a b̲͕̐͆̚ȁ̗̤̹̜́ͭ̒̀̇̎ċ̟̝̣̭̖̘k̲̻͚ͩͥ̐̐̄̉̇ ̮̼̣̳̜͂̔a̫̘͚̞͓͎̍l̫̻̜̗̘l͕͉̜̫͎̑ë̝̻͉ͪͭ͗́y̗̞̘̲̓͗͂̆̍?̰͎̱̼ͪ̈́ͩ͗ͦ͐ͅ And people call M̴̰͙̘̝͕̽̉̿͐́̕͘E̹͓͔̝͓̱͍ͧͥ̐ͧ̉͑͑ͨ͡ a f̹̠̟r̬͈̝͈ea̵̜̫̝̳̬k̶̹?̠̣͜ Damn them, these b͉̯̰͚͞a͎̣̗͍̞̮͍͠s͕͉͕̗̀t̜a̳̺r̭̙̖̹̦ͅd͏͓̯͖̪s̜̼̕ ̩̗͚̘͚ͅd̵̤̱ǫn̞̙̠͕͞'̵͇̝͖̯ͅt̪̼̺͜ ͞e҉̰͉͔̗̼v̷̱e҉̲̖̬͖̝n͖̤ ̫̮̙̖͘ͅd͈͇̝̻͎͠͡e̶̪͉̞̥̙̞̹̝s̙̕e̶̵̮̪͓̦̭̻̖ͅr͝͏͙̻͔v̧̧̬̳͕͔̼̘̙̪͍̀e̢̢҉͓͈͔̠̙ ̬̥̠̳̭̫̼̠͡t̥̼̙̫̠̲͇̲͟͟h̷̹̹̤͔̺̮͖̼e̬̦̦͇̬̕ ̴͙̮̕͟ͅa̶̞͎͙͢͝i̡̤͍͓̩̝ŕ̲͎̝̲̝̹̹͕ ̧̙̜t̳̱̮͓̺h̤̬̳̰̥̣͚̱e͈̟̥̬̭͎͇̟y̴̤̟̼͜ ̶̢̝̫͔͢b̰̹̙̟͚̕͜͟r̘̻͜e̜̞a̰̯̘̮̥t̫̺̳̥͝h̭̰͔͓͓e̶͚͍̲͉͓̼.̴̧̤͎̞̲̗̜ͅ.̨̪̲̗͕͕̦̮̪̭͝.͙

I was standing over them, each gasping for breath, it looked like they had minor sulfur burns on their faces. They were looking at me with a monstrous fear in their eyes, something I hadn't even seen back on Earth. I stepped away slowly, glancing over at Ice Dancer, who had the same fear in her eyes,

"Are you okay?"

I nearly jumped at the sound of my own voice, it sounded twisted and distorted, not even close to my own. That's when I saw myself, in the reflection of her eyes. It wasn't pretty.

I forced myself to calm down, slowly returning to normal. I knelt by the two stallions, grabbing each by the ear, "Boys, I want you to listen very carefully." I waited until they were both looking at me and listening before I continued, "This behavior will not continue. If I ever find out that either you two pulled anything like this again, I will personally ensure that you are transported to the very lowest levels of Tartarus. Understood?" They both nodded quickly, hyperventilating, "And you won't tell anyone about this, either. Got it?" They nodded again. I let go of them and stood back up, "Good. Now go home, treat those burns."

They ran off like the devil himself was at their heels. I turned to Ice Dancer, "Are you alright?"

She just stood there, staring at me, shaking like a leaf. I walked over to her, she shrunk away from me, her back already against a wall. She tried to make a cry for help, but only managed a terrified squeak. I put up a hand to stop her, "Be still, they won't hurt you."

She was hyperventilating, looking on the verge of going into shock. I simply knelt there, locking eyes with her, not blinking, maintaining a perfectly calm expression. After several minutes of this, she started to calm down again. Well, not so much calm as not going into cardiac arrest from fear. I moved back half a step, "Now, are you alright?"

She nodded shakily, "Y-yes. W-w-what w-was that?"

I pursed my lips, silently kicking myself for scaring her like this, "That was what happens when I lose my temper."

She slowly got back up, "W-why did you get so angry?"

My thoughts drifted back to home, thinking about some of the things I saw in life, all the rapes and murders and genocides reported on on Earth, grinding my teeth slightly at the thoughts, "Because behavior like that is absolutely unacceptable. Even if they didn't plan on actually do anything, acting like that is an embarrassment to common decency."

She stayed still for a moment, then suddenly threw her arms around me, hugging me tightly, "Thank you."

I put an arm around her, patting her back gently, "Think nothing of it."

She let go of me after a minute, her eyes looking a bit red, "Um, sir, would you mind walking home with me?"

I nodded slightly, and we began making our way back to her home without a word.

She stayed close to my side, she smelled faintly like those black ice air fresheners. Neither one of us uttered a word until we arrived at her home, a somewhat shabby-looking place. I looked at her when we got to her,

"Ice Dancer, let's just keep this between the two of us, okay?"

She nodded,

"Sure. I don't have any bruises, and I usually stay out late, so my parents shouldn't ask any questions."

A small smile appeared on her face. She got up on her hind legs and gave me a kiss on the cheek, "Thank you, Mr. O'Connor."

I nodded to her, returning the smile, "No problem. I'll see you around, Ice Dancer."

She nodded and headed inside. I started making my way home, a cock-eyed grin stuck to my face,

"Hmm, what do you think, Safe? I'm having a bit of trouble telling."

"I would say that odds are fair, but nothing definite. We'll have to wait and see."

I wasn't paying attention to what they were saying. I glanced at the clock when I got home, 11:41, a bit early to get to sleep, but I had a long day, so I immediately went to bed. I laid looking up at the ceiling for a while, wondering about my outburst earlier. Could I have just lost my temper? It couldn't have been Him, could it? No, He's more mindless than that. I shook off the thought and glanced up at Luna's moon. It'll be nice to see her again, assuming she's at the Gala.