“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”.-Franklin D. Roosevelt

The 4 humans continued to fake laugh hard, mostly because they didn't want to be in this accidental situation rather than the eccentric name. A minute passed before they finally settled down.

“How far did you say ponyville was again?” asked Scarecrow.

“Around 54 kilometers from here. I just don’t know which direction.” answered Twilight. She scolded herself for loosing track of things. “The whole meeting you thing kinda messed me up. He he”

“No need to worry.” chimed in X-ray. The counter terrorist turned on in his wrist computer and an application menu greeted him. His gloved fingers accessed the control panel of his recon drone.

The mares watched with curiosity.

“What is that?” asked Fluttershy.

X-ray faced up at them. “Oh this? It’s my wrist computer.”

“A what?” asked Rarity blankly.

“A wrist computer. I’m afraid your species isn’t technologically advanced enough for me to give an explanation without confusing you.”

The Mane 6 frowned. X-ray could tell they were desperate for answers. Besides, how could he stand seeing such cute things so sad? Even the 23rd had some limits. Not really.

“Well, we can tell you what it does but how works.”

The Mane 6 flipped their ears up gleefully.

Scorch spoke up. “A wrist computer is a machine that’s designed to be so compact that it can fit around our wrists.”

Scorch raised his to give a demonstration. “These bad boys allow us to view documents and information, listen to music, watch videos, take pictures, scan stuff and browse the internet and weather. We have a specialized military variant that allows us to control our suit functions and heads up display. They’re more expensive that way, but pretty worth it. These things are really handy, or hoofy in your language.”

Scarecrow took over the the last part. “The way it’s controlled is by a touchscreen in the sense that all commands that this device follows is through jesters with our fingers. Can you comprehend that?”

“Darling, we’re having a hard time trying to comprehend you.” said Rarity.

“That is amazing technology. With the proper spells and magic, I could replicate something for pony use all around.” cheered Twilight. Once she got back to Ponyville, she was going to waste no time in trying to find out how to reproduce one for study.

X-ray finished tapping the commands on the drones control panel. Suddenly the drone uncloaked in front of the ponies. As expected, they gave a yelp and fell back.

“What is that?” yelled Rainbow Dash.

“Recon drone.” said Scarecrow blankly.

“What?” said the ponies in unison.

“Have you ever heard of robots?” groaned Scorch.

“Yeah. I’ve read some science fiction books about them. They’re supposed to be machines that work on their own and do specific tasks.” answered Twilight.

“Alright then. A recon drone is basically a robot whose job is to assist 23rd units in gathering information, pinpointing enemies, spying on opposing bases and this bad boy is specially modified to have two twin micro rifles on it.” explained X-ray.

“How does it work?” bounced Pinkie.

“Again, your species isn’t technologically advanced enough for us to give an explanation without confusing you.” muttered Scarecrow.

Just as the other mares stared at Shadow in disappointment, Twilight suddenly remembered that the elements of harmony were still in their box tucked away behind the Mane 6. She turned around and quickly cast an invisibility spell on it to conceal it from the sight of the humans. It would be best to keep it a secret from them just in case...

“Anyway,” started X-ray. “My drone’s detected a town, around 53.87 kilometers east from here. X-ray pointed east with his index finger.

Overwatch, Scarecrow, and Scorch tapped the coordinates onto their wrist computer.

“Waypoint marked on HUD.” said Scorch.

The visors of the human glowed blue again.

“What are you doing and what’s a HUD?” asked Rainbow Dash.

The squad wan’t bothered at giving all the explantations, it would be a very interesting experience for them and the ponies.

“A HUD is a heads up display.” explained Scorch. He pointed to his glasses. “These shades aren’t just for blocking out sunlight and making us look cool.”

‘And scary.’ thought Fluttershy.

“But they also have a HUD built into it that’s connected to our armor and devices. It keeps track of thing like ammunition, shield condition, motion trackers and waypoints. We’d explain how it works but..”

“Our species isn’t technologically sufficient enough for you to give an explanation.” joked Pinkie, trying her best to imitate a mechanical voice.

The squad smiled underneath their masks.

“This pretty exciting!” burst Twilight. she spoke fast like Pinkie. “I have a whole new species to study about. I have a ton of questions I’m..”

“Once our forces meet with the rest of Equestria’s rulers, you can start asking questions on humanity. Now let’s just focus on getting back to town.” interrupted Scorch.

“You can still ask us questions about ourselves if you’d like.” proposed X-ray. Although he didn't intend to to tell the truth.

“By the way, how did the six of you get here so quickly? asked Scarecrow.

“Oh, I just teleported the 6 of us here. A lot better than trotting the extra distance if you ask me.” answered Twilight.

The squad was more amazed than shocked. “You can teleport?” half asked Scarecrow.

Twilight nodded gleefully. “Every pony has a special talent. Mine is magic so my understanding of that field is greater than that of a normal unicorn. Since I’m an Alicorn, my power increases ten fold.”

“Motherfucker you should have said so earlier!” yelled Scarecrow.

Twilight slowly trotted back. The human’s attitude towards her was the complete opposite of what she had been getting since her coronation.

“What are you waiting for? Teleport us!” yelled X-ray. “Ponyville’s that way!” The masked soldier pointed east. Twilight nodded.

“Okay, all of you form around me.” instructed Twilight.

Ponies and humans gathered around the Purple Mare. Her horn lit up and a pink light spread across everything gathered around her.

Right when she was about to give a final push, her horn ached and she collapsed.

“What was that?” asked Scarecrow. The humans were more confused than unamused.

“Twilight ya never mess up on teleportation.” stated Applejack.

“Sorry.” muttered the Alicorn. “I lost focus. Let me try again.”

Twilight tried the teleportation spell again but once the pink light engulfed the humans, she lost her ability to think.

“What’s going on? Aren’t Alicorns supposed to be powerful ‘magic’ casters?” inquired X-ray as he stroked his bandanna. Twilight noted the way he said ‘magic’.

“I have no problem teleporting ponies but there’s a limit to how much I can teleport.” explained Twilight.

Scarecrow sat down. “So you can’t teleport anything above 6, based on what you’re trying to teleport. Or maybe the distance you can teleport goes down based-”

“No its not that.” said Twilight as she rubbed her face with her hooves. “When I try to teleport ponies, everything goes seamlessly, I even teleported a dozen royal guards last week as part of an experiment.”

She looked up at them, making sure no to stare for too long. “But when I try to teleport one of you, I can’t grasp any of your forms. I have to use a lot magic just to teleport one of you and I just fail. One of you is like the equivalent of 10 royal guards to teleport.”

“Well there’s no use in us holding you back.” said Scorch. “Go teleport your friends, we’ll meet you at the village.

“I...can’t. Its really hard for me to concentrate right now with one of you guys here.” explained Twilight.
Scorch pointed to Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Twilight. “You three have wings, go fly ahead to ponyville, we’ll meet you there sooner or later. Hell you can probably carry your friends if you wanted.”

“I’m sorry, but there’s no way we’re letting you out of our sight pal.” threatened Pinkie Pie in a stern voice. It was more of an expression than scolding however.

Scorch spoke in a faux-villain voice “Oh no, you’re messing up our plot to take over the world.” He gave a small chuckle.

“Although that is smart. In any situation you shouldn’t be too trusting of people..er ponies you just met. Hell, we don't even trust you. Consider yourself lucky that we tolerate your knowledge of our existence.”

“Fair enough, looks like we’re for a long walk or trot or gallop..whatever.” sighed X-ray.

The Mares gave out a groan.

“The sooner we move, the better. Alright follow us.” commanded Scarecrow. "Besides, this situation is infinitely worse for us anyway. We shouldn't even be here."

Rainbow Dash landed and trotted to him. “Hey who put you in charge? Why should we be taking orders from you?”

Scarecrow stood to his full hight. He towered the mare and cast a huge shadow above her. “Because I can squash you
like a bug.” he said in a joking manner.

Rainbow Dash gulped and backed away. The ponies were unsure whether they could trust the masked commandos but resisting the counter terrorists wasn’t an option the moment they saw them unsling their weapons and load them with ammo.

“Waypoint on target, let’s move.” said Scarecrow nonchalantly.

The ponies followed the humans. They observed the counter terrorists pointing their guns everywhere as if they were waiting for something just to come at them. Nopony could put their hood on it, but something made them feel compelled to follow Shadow’s orders. Like an instinct. The ponies kept quiet and huddled in a group.

A minute of silence of passed. The ponies didn’t want to mess up Shadow’s train of thought and end up making a threat. Suddenly the squad spoke in a language nopony had ever understood.

“Qu’est ce que nous faisons avec les chevaux?” asked Scarecrow.

“Je ne sais pas, mais elles sont sympa et genereux dans le moment.” responded X-ray.

“Et plus, je veux apprendre des informations sur les chevaux. Nous pouvons aller à la ville.” added Scorch.

“D’accord. Tres bien.” sighed Scarecrow.

The Mane 6 wondered the humans just said. The language was completely alien to them although Rarity felt that the words suited her for a strange reason. Applejack was suspecting that they were planning to massacre the town once they got there. Twilight believed that the humans were subtly mocking their intelligence.

Twilight noticed that the humans were struggling to move. She wasn’t an expert on bi-peds, but she felt that the humans were uncomfortable.

“Something wrong?” asked the alicorn.

“This planet has much lighter gravity than what we’re used to.” answered X-ray. “Sure it makes running and jumping easier but trying to take the slightest step seems to propel us to the distance.”

Scarecrow shot up his fist in the air. “Shadow, diamond formation.”

“Solid copy.” radioed X-ray.

The humans started to rearrange themselves around the Mane 6.

“Diamond formation?” questioned Rarity enthusiastically.

“Yeah.” responded Scarecrow “I guard you 6 in from the front, X-ray takes the left side, Scorch takes the right and
Overwatch covers our six.”

“Our what?” said the Mane 6 in near unison.

“Our back.” explained Scarecrow.

“Ohh.” exclaimed a skipping Pinkie.

“That way if any fucker tries to hurt you, they’ll have to get through us.” threatened X-ray heroically.

The Mane 6 didn’t know whether to feel safe or locked up at that statement. Being huddled close certainly wasn’t good for the psyche, the rates and way they moved were just so uncomfortable to them, they struggled to keep up with their pace.
Fluttershy tried to break out of the enclosure but once Overwatch looked back at her with his startling mask and cold attitude, she scuttled back to the group.

Scorch noticed. “I know you’re scared but it’s not safe for you to go wandering off little one. You could get lost or hurt and that’s the last thing we want.”

“Why da y’all even care what happens to us?” asked Applejack sternly.

“We promised to protect civilians and the innocent from harm.” answered X-ray. “Just because you’re ponies doesn’t mean we’re not going to do the noble thing. We’ll be damned if any of you adorable girls get hurt or lost knowing we could protect you. As long as we’re here, you’ll be alright.”

“Ah’m sure.” whispered the orange mare in a hardly audible tone.

“I heard that.” snapped Scarecrow.

The cowpony was dumbfounded. She turned to face Rarity and based on her look, she wasn’t even able to hear what Applejack despite being right next to her.

Rainbow Dash started hovering in the air. “You know we’re not helpless, we never asked four aliens like you to just come in to our planet, boss us around and act like you’re our secret service agents.”

“Dash, we’re trying to help you get out of this forest safely. I don’t think you have a reason to be this pissed. Now get down before something swats you from the sky.” sighed Scorch.

The Rainbow Maned mare didn’t stop. “And another thing, we’re not helpless! We’ve faced NightMare Moon, Discord and Sombra. We can handle ourselves!”

“That does sound tough...if I actually knew who they were.” chuckled Scarecrow.

Twilight frowned. She hoped that once they actually knew who the 6 of them really were, they’d change their attitude on them. Being treated like this was embarrassing.

Rainbow Dash flew up to Scarecrow’s face. She ignored the painful sensation in her mind. Nopony, and by extension, nobody, messed with her ego.

Twilight got worried. “Dash calm down, they’re just trying to help.”

That did not stop the pegasus. “So that’s is huh? We’re nothing but a bunch of poor, helpless, childish animals? Let me tell you something pal. You can not just go up to me and my friends, especially one that’s a ruler of Equestria, and just start ordering us around. This is our planet and you can’t tell us what to do. Keep this up and you’ll be sorry you’re race decided to set hoof...er..foot here!”

Scarecrow snorted. “Right, as if I should be afraid of a lesbian pegasus.”

Rainbow Dash froze wide eyed. “Lesbian.” she said slowly.

Dash sat there with her mouth open and failed to notice the group walking ahead of her until Overwatch nudged her to move forward.

“Yeah you got the whole rainbow thing going on.” mocked Scarecrow. The other 3 humans snickered. The Mares were red in the face.

Rainbow Dash flew back to the group. Her face was red with anger.

“I’m not a homosexual!” she insisted.

Scarecrow was amused. “So, you’re a tranny?”

The pegasus screamed at the top of her lungs. “I’M NOT A LESBIAN, I’M IN LOVE WITH SOARIN..” Suddenly she realised what she just said. The pegasus blushed a bit.

The humans laughed. The Mares stared at her with a small smile. Dash was about to burst again until X-ray stopped her.
“Rainbow Dash...Scarecrow has a unique sense of humor. It’s annoying but you’re going to have to get used to it. We have to deal with his shit everyday.”

Overwatch shook his head at that statement.

The Rainbow Maned pegasus exhaled and retreated to the cluster of Mares. Applejack nudged her on the shoulder with a grin on her face.

“Ah hate ta break it ta ya partner. But ah think Soarin is datin’ that Spitefire chick.”

Rainbow Dash gave the cowpony a dumbfounded look. “What are you talking about? I saw Braeburn making out with Spitfire behind a bush in Appolosa.”

The orange Earth pony’s mouth hung open. “Wha..how did ah..”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “And can you please tell Braeburn to think of some new moves, after an hour he got borring!”

Applejack struggled for words. Scorch’s voice interrupted her thinking. “Say is it possible for a pony to be a homosexual?”

Twilight placed her right hoof on her chin. “Well yeah, there’s Lyra and Bonbon.”

“The spa ponies are very...intimate with each other.” said Rarity slowly.

“Oh and Berry Punch and Carrot top make like the cutest couple ever. Even when Berry isn’t drunk she says the nicest things to Carrot.” cheered Pinkie.

“I also think Lily and Daisy are together too.” added Fluttershy.

Scorch nodded and turned his attention back to is surroundings. A a kilometer was walked before Twilight killed the silence.

“So, how did you all arrive here?” she asked.

“Well, we arrived to this star system via a starship, the Blackjack through FTL travel and teleportation. We set foot on this planet via VTOL dropship.” explained Scarecrow.

“What’s a vtol?” asked Pinkie.

“VTOL is an acronym.” explained X-ray. “It stand for Vertical Take Off and Landing. It’s a spaceship meant for transporting soldiers or counter terrorists from location to location, abliet on a smaller scale than a naval vessel. It’s way smaller, has less armor and has a lighter array of offensive capabilities.”

“Where is the VTOL?” whimpered Fluttershy.

“It’s gone cause a dragon blew it up.” exclaimed Scorch. The mares were bothered by the angry attitude of the statement.

“Say where is the Blackjack right now?” inquired Twilight.

“Outer space, orbiting your planet. Some sort of distortion field is blocking your planet from us contacting it until further notice.” said Scarecrow. "Long story short, we're stranded."

Twilight and the rest of the Mane 6 wasn’t very keen on the fact that there was a spaceship orbiting their planet. Especially considering that it would have had more humans on board.

‘Distortion field’. Thought Twilight. ‘That’s funny, I don’t remember ever reading about something like that in my books.’

“Um..why do you where those masks?” asked Fluttershy.

“Well first, the members of the 23rd have to conceal their identity.” explained Scarecrow as he vaulted over a log blocking his way.

“Also these shades provide a HUD for us.” said Scorch.

“The bandanna also filters out viruses and bacteria native to this planet that our body cant fight off.” added X-ray.

“Finally, they make us look cool and scary.” beamed Scarecrow. "They intimidate our opponents and inspire our allies."

The group walked a couple few more kilometers before the Mane 6 started stumbling for exhaustion. Shadow decided it was time for a break as well.

“OK we can rest here for a few minutes.” proposed Scarecrow.

The ponies gave a sigh of relief and settled down in the clearing. They were surprised no monster had attacked them through all the distance they covered. The Mane 6 suspected that it had to do with Shadow squad and the negative atmosphere they brought with them.

“Finally. I’m just famished.” moaned Rarity, waving her arm around.

Overwatch rose an eyebrow underneath his mask and pointed to all the grass.

“What are you doing?” asked Rarity with suspicion.

“You’re a fucking pony eat the grass.” justified Scorch who was focused on adding a rifle grenade to his SCAR.

“We don’t eat grass like that.” explained Twilight.

“Come again?” remarked an unconvinced X-ray.

“We don’t eat grass just raw like that silly.” giggled Pinkie Pie. “We have to grow it on a farm, pluck it, disinfect it, dry it, cook it, severe it on platter and eat it.”

“If animalistic horses on Earth can eat grass from the ground just like that. Then you should be able to as well.” encouraged Scarecrow.

“Besides unless Twilight or Rarity has a food summoning spell, you have no choice.” noted X-ray. ‘Though a food summoning spell would be fucking awesome’ he implored.

The ponies agreed and went on to eat the grass. To them it felt slightly degrading. Twilight couldn’t care less but she knew for a fact that her friends were giving her the ‘oh Twilight you’re a princess how could you resort to such behavior blah blah blah’ look.

Fluttershy looked back at the humans. Overwatch was drawing something on a notepad while Scarecrow, X-ray and Scorch were speaking in that unpronounceable language.

“Hey listen!” yelled Scorch.“We need to take a blood sample for research if that’s okay.”

The ponies mouth dropped open, grass fell out. Nopony liked getting shots.

The 4 humans took out 4, very pointy and sharp serums.

“We’re dealing with Unicorns, Earth Ponies, Pegasai and an Alicorn.” started X-ray. “That means well need 4 individual blood samples. Any volunteers?

Pinkie looked at Applejack and was about to raise her hood until Applejack startled her. “Don’t worry sugarcube, ah’ll do it.”
The cowpony trotted to Scorch, nervously glancing at the needle.

Normally Rainbow Dash would be the one volunteer in Fluttershy’s place for something dangerous, but ever since she had a nightmare about Pinkie Pie ripping her organs out and baking them into cupcakes, she grew afraid of sharp things.

“Uh, shy” said Rainbow Dash nervously with a blush. “Do you think?”

“It’s okay Dash.” assured the yellow Pegasus. She flew on over to Overwatch, deciding which of the two was scarier all the while.

Both Rarity and Twilight knew they had no other choice but to volunteer themselves. With a deep breath they walked on over to X-ray and Scarecrow respectively.

The volunteers handed their hooves to the humans. With a quick press of a button, the needles penetrated the hooves of the equines and their red blood filled the vials.

The 4 volunteers grasped their hooves. It had hurt a lot more than expected. Fluttershy and Rarity were on the brink of tears.

“We’re sorry!” apologized Scorch. “We didn’t think it would hurt that much. Hear, take this bio tissue, it will stop the bleeding instantly.”

The 4 humans took out said tissue from their pockets and wiped the hooves of the ponies. The humans turned back too the blood samples. X-ray took out his tablet and started scanning the samples.

The ponies rubbed their hooves nervously. The bleeding stopped but now they were more worried about what the humans were going to do with the blood samples. Pinkie assumed they we’re creating a bio weapon of some sorts or start a cloning project.

Twilight overheard the humans speaking.

“There’s no doubt about it.” said X-ray, scanning Twilight and Rarity’s blood sample through his tablet. “Rarity and Twilight are the sources of radiation we’ve been getting. Their anatomy is quite interesting to say the least.”

Rarity looked at the masked humans wearily, she didn’t like having her body being discussed by aliens.

“Since Twilight is an alicorn, she’s emitting higher levels of energy than Rarity.” explained X-ray. “Based on my readings though, most of their power is concentrated at their horn which is connected to their brain-”

“Cut the technobabble shithead.” yawned Scarecrow. “We’ll discuss it in town, right now get your equipment to run tests on their blood.

“Roger asshole.” acknowledged X-ray. The counter terrorist loaded a drop from each blood sample onto separate compartments onto his device.

Scarecrow turned to face the equines. “Break over. Let’s move.” he ordered.

“Don’t you need to eat? No one likes being on an empty stomach.” asked Pinkie Pie.

“Commandos can go a few days without food thanks to some medicine and surgery we took.” gloated Scarecrow

The ponies wre disgusted by the thought of surgery but more were dissapointed at the short time they had to rest but nopony in their right mind was going to aruge with a bunch of dragon slayers.

Shadow squad assumed position around the Mane 6.

“We’re 10 kilometers down, we’ll make it in no time at this rate.” motivated X-ray.

The ponies gave a sigh of annoyance but once all 4 masked soldiers stared staight at them, they decided to keep their mouths shut.

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.-” Abraham Lincoln

“So why did y’all come to our planet in the first place?” asked Applejack.

“Well before we knew this planet had inhabbited life,” began X-ray. “Our mission was to see if the planet was fit for colonization. Now that we found aliens, our job is get as much information from you as possible and determine whether or
not you’re a friends or foe.”

Twilight looked up at X-ray nervously. “Humans are going to colonize this planet?”

“Not anymore.” assured Scorch. “Now that we know this planet is well..cell shaded, I don’t think humans would want to live on it. Plus the Council of ExtraTerran Colonization ruled it illegal for humans to colonize a planet with sentient life on it. The other planets we colonized that we didn’t have to terraform held very basic and mundane life.”

“Why’s that?” twirled Rainbow Dash.

“Well for starters, it’s your homeworld.” explained X-ray. “What happens to this planet is up to you and whatever piece of shit lives here. A thousand years ago, a group of ancient explorers from the continent of Europe found the land of America. The problem though was that there were relatively primitive natives there already living on the landmass. So what did the Europeans do? They massacred them and took their land. The last thing we want to do, is repeat an act like that.”

Fluttershy’s mouth hung open. “That, that’s just mean.”

Scarecrow nodded. “Even if we chose to live on this planet, we’d have to do some serious terraforming like installing artificial gravity generators and changing landscapes for farmland and that wouldn’t be very good for the rest for population right?”

Twilight shook her head yes. A part of her felt relieved that xenos weren’t going to take this planet away from them.
Some more distance was walked and trotted. The endless forest was starting to get on the equine’s nerves.

“Gosh I jus hate da Everfree forest. Quite a shady place if ya ask me.” whispered Applejack.

“Why? It’s just a normal run of the mill forest.” muttered Scarecrow. “With lush trees, blue skies (a butterfly flew near Scarecrow who extended his right index finger and let the insect rest on it) and pretty butterflies.”

“WHY ARE THERE BUTTERFLIES ON EPONA!?”

Fluttershy covered her cutie mark with her tail.

“What do you mean? The Everfree forest is known to be one of the darkest places on the planet. It doesn’t even obey the laws of nature. Surely you should’ve noticed that!” justified Twilight.

“Doesn’t obey the laws of nature? What do you mean?” inquired Scorch.

The ponies stopped dead in their tracks with their mouths wide open. The humans formed a horizantal line and stared at them quizically.

“Nothing about this place is natural!” yelled Pinkie.

“The animals take care of themselves..” began Flutershy.

“The weather just happens..” added Rainbow Dash.

“And the crops grow..” said Applejack.

“..ALL ON THEIR OWN!” yelled the three of them.

Overwatch faceplamed and let out annoyed cry.

“THAT’s why you’re afraid of this place?” burst Scorch.

Scarecrow folded his arms at them spoke very sternly. He turned to face Twilight.

“Twilight, how do you think the universe works?” he asked slowly.

Twilight calmed herself down using Cadance’s technique. The last thing she wanted to do was look like a fool.
“Well the universe can’t opperate on its own just randomly. It needs to be opperated by intelligent creatures 24/7 or else it’ll stop working.” Twilight noticed the heavy breathing of Shadow’s members. “Don’t you humans do the same thing on your worlds?”

X-ray was amazed how he hadn’t lost his temper. “Twilight, the vast majority of the planets in our universe are uninhabited or lack a species intelligent enough to control nature. Yet, plants grow, animals take care of themselves and weather happens all on their own.”

Applejack looked at X-ray suspiciously. “You sure about dat partner?”

X-ray nodded. “Human’s weren’t always an intelligent species, nor were on Earth for a large part of its existence, yet the planet worked. Requiem had no intelligent creatures yet the planet took care of itself. Sera had no animals on it yet the weather functioned fine and plants grew before we colonized it. How do you explain that?”

The color of Applejack’s face started draining from embarrassment. Even Rarity started to look paler than usual.

“Think about it.” said Scorch. “I know for a fact that you weren’t always intelligent and could control the weather. Yet you’re here so you’ve had to come to this world naturally.”

“Not true!” countered Twilight. “Ever since our creator formed this planet thousands of years ago, we’ve had to control everything.”

“Huh creator.” snorted Scarecrow.

Twilight was getting mad. “Since our formation, we ponies controlled everything in Equestria. From the plants to the animals to the raising of our star and moon and..”

“Wait, repeat that last part.” interrupted X-ray.

“Yes, we control the sun and moon, our..”

“That explains it!” cheered Scroch.

“Come again?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“You’re star is artaficial!” answered Scarecrow.

“Well of course it is.” beamed Pinkie Pie. “Our..”

“You might think this sounds like a lie, but your planet is not the natural occurrence.” insisted X-ray.

“How so?” questioned Rarity.

“Look, your star is WAY smaller than all the other stars in the universe. A normal star counts for 99% of the mass in it’s system. As a result, your star can’t emit a strong enough gravity field to rotate your planet. So you have to use telekinesis or some shit to move keep your planet in check.” justified X-ray.

“That’s right.” nodded Twilight. “But if your right then, Equestria isn’t the place that’s normal, it’s been the haunted location all the time!”

“So we’ve been doing it wrong the whole time?” whispered Fluttershy.

“Well eventually most species develop the means to manipulate planets anyway. It goes against nature but it happens.” insisted Scarecrow.

“But we’ve been afraid for nothing the whole time!” yelled Pinkie.

“Well I wouldn’t say nothing.” said Scorch as he placed his fingers on his bandanna. “The Everfree forest does look like it has a bunch of monsters in it. I’d still stay clear of it if I were you.”

The ponies nodded and the group continued their journey. Everypony felt like an idiot in front of the humans at their
revelation but at the same time just couldn’t understand how the rest of the universe worked opposite to Equestria.

After a few minutes of walking, the squad was starting to get bored. “For such a huge forest, I’m surprised we haven’t run
into any manticores or hydras.” Pointed out X-ray.

“I think your presence brings in a negative atmosphere that makes other creatures want to stay clear of you.” insisted Twilight.

“What makes you say that?” asked Scorch.

“Well, most animals can sense danger, and when there’s a threat near them, they keep low and move along. And uh, no offense but I really think they’re aware how much of a threat you are to them.” said Fluttershy.

“You seem to know a lot about animals.” pointed Scarecrow.

“Why yes, I’m Ponyville’s animal care taker. You see, I can talk to animals-”

“You can talk to animals!” gasped Scorch.

Fluttershy cowered as Shadow looked straight at her. She struggled for words “um...yes”

“That’s awesome!” cheered X-ray. “You see, we can’t get any ammo until further notice so if we run into a monster while we’re here, it’s your job to tell them to stand down.”

Fluttershy was about to speak up until Scarecrow interrupted her.

“If you fail to stop said creatures however, we’ll be forced to take it down.”

Fluttershy got mad. She flew up and while she couldn’t giver off her ‘stare’, she was able to look the humans right in the shades. “Oh no, you are not killing any animals on my-”

“Fluttershy do you really want these humans pissed off!” burst Twilight.

Everypony looked at Twilight, eyes wide open.

“Twilight, that language is most unacceptable for a princess like you.” gasped Rarity.

The alicorn realized what she had done and blushed. “Oh, sorry everypony, it won’t happen again. I just lost track-of-things-and-can-we-please-move-on?” she said quickly.

Overwatch shrugged off her comment and walked ahead, prompting the group to follow.

After a while, the dirt was getting on Rarity’s nerves. “Ugh, natural or not I just hate the outdoors.” complained Rarity. “Am I here the only one who understands just how dirty and vile this place is? When I get home, I’m soaking in a tub for an hour.”

“I hate the woods too honestly.” assured X-ray.

“No listen here, just because a lady...wait what?”

“I hate the woods too.” repeated X-ray.

The ponies looked at him dumbfoundedly.

“You’re a soldier.” pointed out Rainbow Dash. “Aren’t you supposed to be used to fighting in places like these all the time?”

“Hey I like fucking up insurrectionists in urban combat. In the forest I have to worry about about all those damn stinging insects when I should be worrying about not getting my head blown to bits.” gritted X-ray.

“You have a fear of insects?” asked Fluttershy.

“We’re all afraid of something.” insisted Scarecrow, head still facing forward. “X-ray’s got Entomophobia, Overwatch is afraid of jellyfish and squid.”

Overwatch groaned and place his gloved hand on his forehead.

“Scorch is cryophobic.”

“Spend a week in Canada during winter without heaters and you’ll see!” yelled Scorch.

“I on the underhand, am Sociophobic. Never liked going to parties. I just hung out with these 3 assholes and played video games at my house.” explained Scarecrow.

“WHAT!” yelled a high pitch voice

Scarecrow nearly stumbled back and almost crushed Rarity with his weight had Overwatch not thrust him forward.
Pinkie materialized on top of Scarecrow and starred straight into his mask.

“How could you hate parties?” screamed Pinkie desperately.

“Crowds make me nervous, the music sucks, food tastes like shit and I hate having to talk to people I hate!” snapped the hooded human.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk!” shook Pinkie.

Pinkie crawled on Scorch’s head. “When we get back to Ponnyville, we are throwing you a super-duper welcome party!” cheered the party pony.

The pink mare found herself tugging Overwatch’s legs. “Oh my gosh, that reminds me!” she gasped in awe. “I’ve been gone for so long that I forgot to throw a bunch of parties!”

“I still have to throw a party for Berry Pinch getting her cutie mark.” said Pinkie, hanging from the sky, facing X-ray’s chest.

“I still have to throw a party for Lucky and Wildfire’s anniversary!” exclaimed the Mare after popping in front of Rainbow Dash.

“I still-”

“HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT?” roared X-ray.

“Doing what?” asked Pinkie as she was hovering above the ground.

Scorch snatched her and held her high with both hands. The action was slightly painful to both Pinkie’s body and her mind, but she held.

“How do you keep popping up from place to place, levitate in the air and teleport?” inquired Scarecrow.

Twilight tensed, she didn’t like where this was going. Trying to figure out Pinkie would drive those humans to insanity.The last thing she wanted was a group of insane trigger happy commandos running around.

“I don’t know silly, since I got my cutie mark it just happens.” smiled Pinkie blankly.

“What you’re doing is fucking impossible!” insisted X-ray as he unslung his carbine. “You’re not even a damn unicorn how can just go around teleporting everywhere?”

“Oh it’s just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie.” chuckled Rainbow Dash.

“That’s not an answer.” snarled Scorch.

“Its true, there’s no scientific reason for Pinkie to act like this, it’s just the way she is when you think about it.” insisted
Fluttershy.

“That’s just being lazy.” chastised Scarecrow.

The mares glared at the counter terrorist with boiling faces. They despised how rude Shadow could be to them.

“How dare! Ya call us lazy!” threatened Applejack. The Earth Pony gave a puff.

“Well no offense, but if something strange is going on and you make no effort to study it, that’s being a sloth.” scolded X-ray.

“Well I did try to study Pinkie Pie once!” piped up Twilight.

“And what did you get?” questioned Scarecrow. The counter terrorist crossed his arms.

Twilight shook her head down. “Inconclusive, I almost lost my sanity trying to figure her abilities out.”

Pinkie chuckled at the memory. “Yeah your mane set on fire!”

Scarecrow shoved his head into Pinkie Pie’s. “I see, we’re dealing with an Eldritch abomination here.”

“Pinkie’s no abomination.” pleaded Fluttershy.

“An eldritch abomination is something that has no desire to obey the facts and laws of the universe.” explained X-ray.

“Trying to observe one causes insanity.”

‘Heh, kinda like you.’ thought Applejack.

“I say challenge accepted “ gloated Scorch.

“No wait!” pleaded Twilight. “I really don’t think you go through this. Pinkie is literally unexplainable!”

“Yeah right.” snorted Scarecrow. “Twilight, for every reaction, there has to be an action, so there has to be some sort of reasoning behind Pinkie’s weird actions even if it doesn’t seem logical.”

“I hate to brake it to you pal, but if Twilight can’t find out something, then nopony can.” snarled Rainbow Dash.
Twilight covered her face with her wings. She knew she was smart, but she didn’t want to seem arrogant in front of a new race she knew little about.

“That’s her, this is us.” countered X-ray. Rainbow Dash glared at him before clutching her head and flying away.

The 4 black clad humans surrounded and looked down at Pinkie Pie.

The Pink mare nervously looked up at the very tall humans and gulped.

She started to mutter. “Um..don’t I get a say in-”

Pinkie never finished her sentence as Overwatch grabbed her and held her up. The next thing she knew, her mouth ballooned opened as X-ray shoved his fist and wrist computer in her mouth, using his thin and slender limbs to his advantage.

X-ray released his fist from Pinkie’s mouth, covered in enough animated drool to disgust Rarity and nearly make Fluttershy puke. The masked soldier casually wiped off the drool and turned his attention to the readings of his device.

Right when Pinkie thought it couldn’t get worse, Scorch shoved a needle into her and drew some of her blood. Scorch snatched X-ray’s tablet and slit the blood sample onto a compartment where data flowed through his visor.
Scarecrow had magnetic vision turned on and was slowly analyzing all of Pinkie’s traits. He pressed his face unto Pinkie’s muzzle and didn’t care she was feeling uncomfortable.

Twilight watched with interest as the humans were recording data. The commandos finally unglued their eyes from their devices and unto each other. Overwatch dropped Pinkie and the party pony trotted back to her friends, bothered by Shadow’s actions.

Shadow was in a huddle, whispering their results and data. Finally they turned to the ponies. X-ray calmly spoke up.

“Pinkie, how much sugar and caffeine do you consume?”

“OOO I love have a loooot of those!” cheered the pink mare, her attitude improving. “You see I work at Sugarcube corner and I bake my own cupcakes so I get delicious, treaty, sweaty stuff for free! My favorite flavor is energy drink.”

“Pinkie if somebody ate a hundredth of the sugar in your system, they’d be suffering from diabetes, or obesity...or death.” remarked Scorch.

“It’s that bad?” gasped Pinkie Pie. The other ponies were shocked as well.

X-ray held out his tablet. “Pinkie your molecules are moving rates they should not be moving at!” growled the commando.

“Isn’t sugar supposed to be bad for Ponies too?” questioned Scarecrow.

“Well of course.” proclaimed Twilight. “But Pinkie Pie’s born with a rare condition where artificial sugar is harmless to her.”

“Braebrun and Screwball have it ta some extent.” added Applejack.

“What this have to do with Pinkie's (gulp) power.” sighed Fluttershy.

“Well, other than annoying hyperactivity,” began X-ray. “It also means moving at quick speeds.” Pinkie dashed from her friends to X-ray in a blur to demonstrate.

“vibrating through matter.” Scarecrow picked Pinkie and threw her to a skinny tree. Much to everypony’s amazement, she came out the other side fine.

“and quantum levitation.” finished X-ray.

“What levitation?” asked Rarity, confused by the entire ordeal.

“It’s when an atom is so charged it refuses to come down.” explained Scorch.

Overwatch picked up Pinkie and threw her up. The party pony floated off the ground for a while, before falling back down.

“America tried to build a city once in the early 1900s using quantum levitation.” muttered Scarecrow. “It didn’t work out very well.”

“What about Pinkie sense?” questioned Rainbow Dash.

“Pinkie sense. What’s that and why does it remind me of a comic book I read as a kid?” asked Scarecrow. He placed his hand on his bandanna and looked up.

“Oh sometimes I can predict the future.” piped up Pinkie.

“Come again?”

“Sometimes my body does starts twitching. Each twitch means something different is going to happen. The cool thing is, each twitch is true!”

Suddenly Pinkie’s tail curled up and he mane poofed sideways. “Oh that means somepony’s going to get hiccup-”

“HICH!”

Fluttershy blushed. “Oh my HICH, it seems I HICH, have a small HICH, case of the”

BANG!

The gunshot startled even the humans. Everybody and everypony turned to face Overwatch, the tip of his PDR smoking.

“Did that scare away your hiccups?” blankly asked the hooded marksman.

Fluttershy froze and realized she stopped hiccuping. “Um, thank you.” she whispered.

Overwatch gave a nod and holstered his PDR to the side.

“As for your Pinkie sense...” pondered Scorch. He stroked his bandanna. “By any chance, does your mind start flashing division problems before you...twitch?”

“Oh yeah!” Cheered Pinkie. “I’m super good in all kinds of maths and facts. I’m even better than Twilight.”

Twilight kept silent.

“Okay then.” calmed Scorch. “You’re just very, very, very good in probability and taking numbers into consideration...like Overwatch.”

Suddenly Overwatch pushed X-ray aside. In a heartbeat later, a tree came crashing from where the rifleman stood.

“Um..thanks.” muttered X-ray as he got back up. “You know my shields would have taken the damage right?”

Overwatch shrugged and turned to the rest of the group.

“His ‘sniper sense’ if you could call it that, is pretty handy when it comes to assassination ops.” pointed out Scarecrow.

Suddenly the atmosphere returned to its dark tones.

“Well come on, we’re not going to get to Ponyville by standing here.” exclaimed Scorch who started pacing ahead. The rest of the party followed.

Twilight couldn’t believed what just happened. She had spent nearly two YEARS trying to solve Pinkie Pie out and only received mental issues. Now these 4 humans show up, and solved the Pink pony in a matter of minutes. Part of her was scolding herself for not trying hard enough while the other half was trying to assure her that humans had a different way of solving problems.

Still, a phrase didn’t leave her. “That’s her, this is us.”

“I can’t believe this!” piped up Rainbow Dash. “You must seriously have a huge understanding of magic if you could figure Pinkie out.”

“I am mysterious after all” skipped Pinkie up and down. Overwatch was in a trans by following her movements.

“There is NO SUCH THING AS MAGIC!” snapped X-ray.

“HOW!” yelled the equines back.

“Equestria is built in the foundations of magic. We Unicorns can use arcane magic, Earth Ponies can tend to crops in a
way nopony else can and Pegasai can walk on clouds as well as control the weather.” explained Rarity.

“Rarity is magic defined in Equestria as powers that just happen for no reason?” questioned Scarecrow, slowing his walking pace.

“Well yes.” answered Rarity. “Nopony has ever found out how magic works because it doesn’t work through science, they’re separate fields. Right Twilight?”

Twilight wasn’t in the mood to be yelled at again, but Rarity did have point. “Yeah you’re right Rarity.” she said nonchalantly.

“Ponies, everything in the universe happens for a reason otherwise it’s story junk.” countered Scorch.

“You said yourself Unicorns and Pegasai were just myths, what is going to stop magic from being real too?” hissed Rainbow Dash.

“Well for starters, there has to be a reason for story book creatures to be in this place, so why shouldn't there be a reason for your powers?” questioned X-ray.

The ponies didn’t know how to respond to that. They stopped into their tracks until Overwatch bumped into them, prompting them to move forward.

“Even if the way something works doesn’t make sense to us, magic isn’t a proper answer unless you don’t like to think.” added Scarecrow.

Twilight felt like she could cry. Throughout her times as a scholar, she considered herself a skeptic and rational. Now as she looked back, she realized she never tried to figure out why something worked but instead how it worked. Even with their masks to hide their emotions, the ponies were painfully aware that humans were disappointed by their lack of relative intellectualism.

Applejack wasn’t going to go down without a fight. “Partner there aint no scientific reason fer us ta exist and have magic. Our creator hand them to ponykind-”

“Creation stories are myths and bullshit to explain the things we don’t know how to explain.” scolded Scarecrow. “The truth lies in logic and reason.”

Suddenly the atmosphere got tense, speaking trash about Equestria’s creator was the best way to set a pony off.

Fluttershy finally lost it and burst. “Why do you have to be so mean you big-”

The squad gripped their weapons tighter. As the distrust and violent thoughts increased in the minds of the humans, the minds of the ponies became weaker and weaker. They suddenly felt their vision blur and and heard nothing but a a high pitched frequency.

Rainbow Dash clutched her head and fell to the ground while Rarity stumbled. Everypony was on the verge of being knocked out or going feral.

Suddenly the pain stopped, the noises silenced and everypony’s vision cleared. The 4 hooded humans faded into Twilight's view. Overwatch helped the alicorn get up.

“Why do you keep doing that?” calmly asked Scorch.

“Ever since we met you all, you keep grabbing your heads look uneasy. At first we thought you were sick or something, but your body systems read healthy.” added X-ray.

“I don’t know.” groaned Twilight. “Whenever I look at you humans, my vision starts blurring, I get headaches and I hear high pitched voices.”

"Now I know what getting 'the stare' is like." whimpered Fluttershy.

Scarecrow looked at his squad mates. “Do any of you have your scramblers turned on?”

The other 3 shook their heads. ‘No’

“Even if we did have them turned on, it would only effect electromagnetic devices. Even if Twilight’s and Rarity’s horns
counted as such, it shouldn’t effect the Pegasai or Earth Ponies.” inferred X-ray.

“I think the 6 of you are just scared.” proposed Scarecrow. “I mean 4 advanced and heavily armed aliens that just appear is kinda freaky right?”

The ponies looked at each other. For some reason, fear didn’t feel like source for their migraines. They didn’t have time to dwell on the subject though.

“I think you might be right.” piped Pinkie. “Whenever I’m scared or nervous I just start seeing things. There was this one time where I thought my friends were ditching this party I was throwing-”

“You can tell us all about it later.” interrupted Scorch who followed his allies forward.

“Look, we’re really sorry for loosing our temper. We forgot that your species is in a Medevil time period so most modern
discoveries and reasoning will seem alien to you.” apologized Scarecrow.

“Uh thanks...ah guess.” replied Applejack with an eyebrow up.

“Back on the subject of magic,” began Twilight. “I really think there’s no explanation for why magic happens. It just does, but that doesn’t make it less true. You just have to accept it and move on.”

“Twilight we can explain everything in the universe.” insisted X-ray. “Just because you can’t solve something now doesn’t mean you never will. It took humans hundreds of years to find out how atoms work. Just because we were ignorant of such things in the past didn’t undermine its factual way of working.”

Twilight paused. She never thought of it that way. The alicorn was very jealous of human reasoning but felt that they had a point.

“So what you’re saying is, ‘it works by magic isn’t’ a correct answer?” questioned Pinkie.

“If you’re so smart then explain telekinesis!” growled Rainbow Dash.

“Exerting a gravitational or magnetic force on an object to manipulate it within a vicinity.” answered Scorch.

“Teleportation”

“To energize and propel an object a certain distance so fast to give off the illusion of disappearing or creating a wormhole to travel through rips within space time. Twilight’s teleportation seems to fall into the previous category rather then the later.”

“Walking on clouds.”

Scorch’s visor glowed blue as data filled his HUD.

“Pegasai anatomy seems to suggest that their bodies exert very light forces within the outside sections of their body with rest of it being directed inside. It also seems to be the reason why pegasai can fly despite their weight.”

“Why earth Ponies are so good with plants and animals?”

“Their bodies look like they have some natural decomposers and fertilizer chemicals built around them. I’m also getting what seems to be animal pheromones surrounding them.”

“Think about it like this.” spoke up Overwatch. “If we handed a piece of our technology to cavemen, would they, being illiterate, think it worked through some sort of mystical means despite us being aware it worked through science?”

The ponies looked at each other and quietly admitted defeat.

“I can’t believe we just got compared to caveponies” complained Rainbow Dash.

“Oh, please you’d be the Godmother all knowledge by a primitive’s standards.” chuckled X-ray. “Hey, we’d be cavemen compared to trans sentient aliens right?”

-

Meanwhile the Blackjack had been observing Shadow's events through their HUDs from afar. Unfortunately, communications were still jammed.

A crew member took a sip of coffee. "I don't believe in any deities, but if I did, I'd be praying for the ponies right now."

Author's Notes:

Finally somebody talks sense to all these ponies. Since I consider this to be a bit of a fix fic, I wanted to make sure that the humans would challenge the Ponies way of thinking rather than just accepting it like most other HiEs.

Sorry if these explanations are ruining the magic of the show for you, but part of Shadow's characteristics is that they are all rationally minded individuals who aren't going to accept illogical answers. And neither should you.

BTW there's a Bioshock Infinite reference in this. See if you can find it.