"If you enjoy living, it is not difficult to keep the sense of wonder."- Ray Bradbury

"I really don't want to fucking do this." voiced Scorch through local COOMs.

"It's a school Scorch. With any luck they'll be a library, or some research center we can take points from to further our hypothesis." justified. X-ray.

"Regardless, I don't want to do anything more than say hi to those kids. We've already violated 23rd protocol through our revelation, we don't need to traumatize those colts and fillies." muttered Scarecrow.

The cloaked Shadow squad was being accompanied by the Mane 5 to the local school. Shadow stated that they were perfectly fine without a guide since every place in town was marked on their HUD. The equines however, insisted their inclusion.

The 4 commandos had cloaked in order to avoid being detected by the masses as many ponies were skipping parts of their work to meet the counter terrorists. Shadow however, didn't have the time or desire to satisfy the curiosity of each resident. Furthermore, the 4 masked humans found themselves with their primary weapons drawn out. They didn't want any surprise assassins, mercenaries, or universe knows what coming at them.

Rarity couldn't see the humans, but she was painfully aware that they were armed.

"Must you carry your barbaric instruments of war everywhere you go?" asked the white mare.

"Disarming us will be viewed as a threat." warned Scarecrow. Overwatch seconded that.

"Follow me!" skipped Pinkie gleefully. "We're almost at Ponyville Schoolhouse! Aren't you nervouscited?"

"No." muttered Shadow at once.

"Come on! You don't want to set a negative reputation for yourselves, do you?" insisted Rainbow Dash.

After a minute of walking and trotting, the group found themselves gazing at the school building. Outside was a playground, which Shadow noticed resembled a human one, with colts and fillies playing games, which again Shadow noted were of human origin.

Suddenly, the bell rang and the students galloped into class.

"Looks like it's just an elementary school." radioed X-ray.

The cloaked Scarecrow approached Rarity and tapped her on the neck. The startled unicorn turned around.

"The 5 of you told us that Ponyville Schoolhouse was the only educational facility in town. Shouldn't there be a middle school or high school for ponies 11 and up to attend?" inquired Scarecrow.

Applejack laughed. "'Course not partner! Nopony continues goin' to school after 10 unless they were some genius. After dat we focus on our talents."

A silence rang in the air.

"That explains so much." said Overwatch.

"If it's just an elementary school, than we'll probably have no use such a simple knowledge base." remarked Scorch. "Besides, like we're going to scare those foals. Let's leave."

The invisible humans turned around and were about to walk away until-

"Wait." pleaded Fluttershy.

The humans turned back.

"Would you really disappoint those little kids?" The nervous pegasus made a sorrow expression.

"My universe, that is so cute." awed Scorch.

"Fine, we'll go. But we leave the moment we call for it." ordered Scarecrow.

The 4 humans sprinted past their guides. The Mane 5 realized what happened and tried to catch up with the humans. As they opened the door, they were greeted by a cerise Earth Pony teacher.

"Hello there." greeted Cheerilee warmly.

"Oh hey there Cheery deary!" greeted back Pinkie Pie.

"The students are going crazy about those aliens." shook the teacher. "Are the humans ready for their presentation? Where are they anyway?"

"Actually, the humans are already inside the building." pointed Rainbow Dash.

Cheerilee looked nervous. "But I didn't see them come in."

"Dat's because they're invisible Cheer." muttered Applejack.

The teacher's eyes shot up. "Goodness, we have to find theme before they do something inconsiderate. Where could they possibly be?"

Rarity placed a hoof on her chin. "I believe I may know where."

The 6 mares dashed past a series of lockers and made it to the school library. Needless to say, the entire room was a fiasco. Books were littered everywhere and being opened and tossed aside by an invisible force.

"See anything worthwhile?" asked Scarecrow's disembodied voice.

"Negative." responded the rest of Shadow.

"The books we have here are the same ones Twilight had. No textbooks or anything informative either. Just stories." pointed X-ray.

Cheerilee stepped forward. "Um, excuse me."

Suddenly the books in the air stopped moving.

"Are you the teacher?" asked Scorch's disembodied voice.

Cheerilee nodded. "The class is ready for you."

"Alright just give us a second." whispered Overwatch. Too everypony's surprise, Shadow managed to rearrange the library in 1 minute with every book arranged in the Dewey Decimal system.

The 4 humans brushed passed the mares and headed to straight to class which wasn't hard to do considering there was only one. Scarecrow opened the door and the rest of the cloaked Shadow entered the room followed by Cheerilee.

At the sight of their teacher, the students silenced. All the while, Shadow placed their weapons on the magnetic plates perched on their backs. It was a miracle the 4 of them didn't hit the roof.

"Class, we have very special guests today. They are out of this world!" announced Cheeriliee.

The filly pegasus named Scootaloo got excited. "You don't mean-"

Suddenly, Shadow uncloaked and revealed themselves to the classroom. This was no longer a surprise for the commandos, but all the fillies and colts immediately received migraines and mind fucks as they tried to sink in Shadow's incomprehensible form.

After the headaches alleviated, "So, tell us about your self." said Cheerilee.

Scarecrow "My name is Scarecrow. These are my friends X-ray, Overwatch and Scorch."

Sweetie Bell waved at X-ray while Applebloom winked at Scorch. The two humans smiled lightly after seeing their favorite fillies again.

"We are human beings." continued Scarecrow. "We're 24, male, hetrosexual and our job is to serve the United Terran Federation military amongst the ranks of the 23rd counter terrorist division."

After the insipid introduction. The colt named Rumble raised his hoof. Scarecrow pointed at him.

"Can you please explain your job?" asked the colt impatiently.

"We stop bad guys. Period." muttered a vacuous Scorch.

"That's not much." complained Snips. The other colts in the class agreed.

Overwatch himself couldn't help but give a mental laugh after he realized how none of the fillies in the class seemed to excited about Shadow. He pondered the situation had Shadow been female pop culture icons.

X-ray turned to face Cheerilee. "May I go through your study plans and textbooks?"

The teacher gulped. "Y-yes. You...may."

The rifleman sat down at the teacher's desk and looked through her memos with immense inquiry while the other 3 members of Shadow went through the class.

"I'm afraid we can't go into any detail about our jobs for the sake of your innocence." explained Scarecrow.

"Come on! You gotta tell us something." complained Snails. All of a sudden the fillies got excited too.

"Yeah, what about those mean space pirates you face?" asked Pipsqueak.

"They're insane. We'll leave it that." muttered Scorch.

"What about those cool adventures you have defeating intergalactic aliens?" yelled Scootaloo.

"Humanity has never faced intelligent empires before. Ponies are our first." answered Scarecrow.

"But don't you have to get rid of those alien animals that haunt foreign planets?" questioned Sweetie Bell.

"Sometimes." shook Scorch.

"Have you gone adventurin' on uncharted worlds before?" asked Applebloom.

"Yeah, 3 times." replied Overwatch.

"How many times do they call on you to save the day?" called out Dinky Hooves.

"A lot. Let's leave it at that. By now, we would have gone through 5 missions if we weren't exploring this place." answered Scarecrow.

"That is so cool!" cheered Scootaloo.

Scarecrow knitted his eyebrows. "Cool? Do you what our profession requires us to do?"

"Yeah, stop bad guys!" pointed Sweetie Bell.

"Did any of you colts and fillies even consider how we're supposed to stop them?" trivialized Scorch.

The class was silent. Cheerilee didn't like were this was heading.

"Out job requires us to murder. There is nothing cool about that." refuted Scarecrow. "Have you ever stopped to think about that?" Overwatch and Scorch crossed their arms.

All of a sudden, the students were beginning to form a new idea on the concept of good vs. evil. The acts of the elements of harmony were heroic, but nothing extreme.

"Let's not think about it for a moment." proposed Scorch. "Does anypony else have any questions?"

"Where do humans come from?" asked a filly named Twist.

"Humans originate from Earth, but with the exception of Scorch we were born on various planets across the galaxy." answered X-ray from Cheerilee's desk.

The idea of intergalactic colonization excited the fillies and colts again.

"What was school like for you?" asked Applebloom.

"We can't go into too much detail for legal issues." pointed Scarecrow. "We faired pretty well in school though. Me and the rest of Shadow always showed up on time, did really well on our projects, took part in extra curricular activities and we didn't give our teachers any problems."

"I don't believe that." chucked Rumble.

"Well my lie detector didn't go off." pointed Scarecrow to his wrist computer.

Cheerilee decided to take advantage of the situation. "You see class, this is the kind of behavior you're supposed to be demonstrating at school. If men like these can display excellent behavior, than you should too."

A lot of students gave Shadow a light scowl for elevating expectations in class.

"You must have been really popular if you were that good." awed Dinky.

"Not really." debunked X-ray as he was finalizing his notes. "Bullying was common for us."

"What did you do about those mean bullies?" asked Sweetie Bell.

"What do you think we did? We just told our teachers and that was that." remarked Scorch.

"Another fine example class." applauded Cheeerilee.

The snobbish filly Diamond Tiara was still bemused. "Why do you 4 look so funny? You don't even fit in to the scenery."

Scorch recognized her as the one bullying Twist the other day.

"No offense kid, but Equestria is the funny looking one. You all look like cartoon characters. Everything beyond our galaxy is built like us." countered Scarecrow.

"Can you identify yourself young miss?" ordered Scorch.

"Name's Diamond Tiara." gloated the Pink filly.

Scorch smirked. "Funny, because your tiara is plastic."

The snobbish filly looked like she got hit on the face with a bat.

Suddenly X-ray spoke up. "Ms. Cheerilee, what are you teaching these kids?"

The smile on the teacher's face vanished. "What ever do you mean?"

X-ray stood up and looked over his readings. "Well for starters, everything relating to science is completely off."

"How so." whispered Cheeirlee.

"I don't blame you for your ignorance, but the stars don't scientifically require a deity to move, there's an absence of gravity, a lack of explanation for plant growth, missing information on molecular structure, paradoxes every where and no mention of the laws of physics anywhere. In fact, your school curriculum is akin to the misguided ones of the renaissance because it attempts to explain many concepts as 'magic'." pontificated X-ray.

Cheerille started stammering. "But mag-"

"Does not exist. Everything has an explanation." interrupted X-ray. "May I see your so called science tests?"

The earth pony teacher nervously got out a folder (which she held with her teeth) detailing all past, present and future science examinations.

Scarecrow grabbed the sheets and shook his head. "Exams. How primitive. Given the fact that these students have been forced to be tested on false knowledge, these scores are no longer valid."

The commander of Shadow raised and lit his pyro grenade. To the awe of the class, all of the 'science' exams were disintegrated in a mere moment.

X-ray stepped in front of the class carrying a series of textbooks. "Now as per United Terran federation laws, we are to correct any errors in your curriculum and reinstate a satisfactory teaching program."

"That is ridiculous! There is nothing wrong with what I teach my students." countered Cheerilee.

"We're in space. What's you're excuse?" replied Scarecrow.

"OOOOOOOO!" pointed the class to their teacher.

Cheeirlee scowled. "What gives you the right to enforce your federation laws on my class and dictate what I teach?"

"Well we are the law." snickered Scorch. "Besides, our teaching programs were once primitive like yours. Don't you want the improved lesson plan for the sake of your students?"

"While we're at it, we should probably work out better designs for chairs. Those things meant for legs can't be too comfortable for equines to sit on." proposed Scarecrow.

Shadow proceeded to step outside of the classroom as the child ponies watched on, stupefied.

Just when silence was beginning to take hold of the class, Overwatch opened the door-

"By the way, the average intelligence unit of humans went up after we got rid of tests and homework in 2190."

-and closed it back.

The fillies and colts gave Cheerilee a dirty look. The teacher gulped and try to keep her smile intact.

------------------

"A fucking spa, really?" complained Scorch. All ponies in the room but Rarity stammered back at the swear.

"Why this isn't no ordinary spa my dear. This is the paragon of beauty treatment in Equestria." chanted Rarity.

Suddenly, two earth pony mares wandered into the room. One was blue with a pink mane while the other was pink with a blue mane. The pink one spoke with a clam tone.

"Hello distant travelers, I am Aloe, and this is my sister Lotus."

Scarecrow switched his mic to local. "Didn't Rarity say they were lesbian with each other?"

"Let's not think about that right now." radioed back X-ray.

"We are certainly pleased that you took the time to visit our luxurious spa." greeted Lotus. "The two of us have pleased many mares before with our treatments. We would be rude not to offer our services to you."

Scarecrow rolled his eyes. "For starters, we're human males and second, the chances of us letting you remove our masks are non existent."

Aloe was desperate. "But you will be the first bi-peds we will have worked on. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"We have many magically created products for you that would help rejuvenate skin and take the pressure of your faces." added Lotus who balanced a jar on her hooves. "I'm sure you do not have these on your many worlds."

Scorch grabbed the jar and scanned it to his hud. "For starters, there is nothing magical about this cream, it's just simple sodium and spring water. Second, we have products like this on the colonies that are of better quality. Third, when was this product put into circulation?"

"This is a new formula introduced a year back." answered Lotus gleefully.

Scarecrow looked around the room. "Me and the rest of Shadow are conducting an experiment. We would like to request that we be allowed to utilize some of your products for our research."

The two lesbian sisters looked at each other.

"Well, I'd hate to be rude, so yes." assured Aloe.

"But we still would like to perform at least a Ponyville massage on you." offered Lotus.

Shadow found Rarity looking up at him with a bright smile. "Come now Shadow, at least one of you should go through their signature masseuse."

X-ray muttered something Armenian. "I can't say no to such an adorable face. I'll go."

While Scarecrow, Overwatch and Scorch began hoarding items, X-ray was directed onto a table. The commando took off his carbine from the magnetic plate as well as his bullet proof vest.

The masked rifleman reluctantly laid himself on the table. To his surprise it did not shatter, although it was obviously stained due to his mass.

"Now just relax." whispered Aloe.

X-ray used neural controls to disable his kinetic barriers. The next thing he new, Aloe got on his thin back and immediately started prancing. To X-ray's delight he felt the tension on his back dissipate. Then Lotus started improvising with cracking his fingers.

The two mares got to work and in about 5 minutes, X-ray was as feeling as good as ever.

"Damn that felt good." moaned the counter terrorist as he placed back his armor. "I feel like I can rip the horns off a rancor with my bare hands."

The sisters looked at each other confusedly. "Umm....your welcome?"

X-ray joined his friends, who stripped half the parlor of its products in a bag and headed out.

--------------------

"So where should we head off to next?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"How about town square? There's plenty of sites to see there." proposed Fluttershy.

"Actually, I think we should head off to SugarCube corner next! I'm in the mood for a wacky snacky." piped up Pinkie Pie. "Plus, I gotta prepare for that super even this night." she winked.

"Sounds lovely to me. Are you fine with that Shadow?" asked Rarity.

"Let's see, we have an entire logical crisis and we're getting snacks. Just great." remarked the cloaked Scarecrow.

"Do you 4 honestly need to stay invisible the entire time?" questioned Rainbow Dash.

"We don't want any unwanted attention." defended Scorch.

"Well, we kinda look like fools just talking to thin air. Air can't talk. I mean I learned from Overwatch that rocks and metals can sing, but air? That's just silly." skipped Pinkie.

The 4 humans simply sighed and uncloaked. As their figures became apparent, everypony within the vicinity shifted their focus to the counter terrorists.

Shadow remained unfettered and kept their weapons tight. Had the ponies been humans, the would have simply set off a flash bang and EMP to cover an escape. Now, they had to deal with attention.

The squad stopped in their tracks as more and more ponies came up to them.

The Mane 5 on the other hand, kept on moving.

"Well ah think it would be a fin' idea if we could see the Ponyville clock tower." pointed Applejack.

"Or the Joke shop! Who doesn't love jokes." laughed Pinkie. She was still determined to make Overwatch smile.

"Well it's Shadows decision." whimpered Fluttershy. "Right Shadow?.....Shadow."

The 5 former elements of harmony turned around and dropped their mouth at the sight before hoof.

"Holy Universe, you are so cute!"

X-ray held the blue unicorn named Colgate in his hands and nuzzled her coat with his mask affectionately.

"Who's a good mare? Who's a good mare?" chanted Scorch as he rubbed Roseluck's belly while the mare laughed.

"Hey pal! That's my marefriend." gritted a stallion named Golden Grape.

Scorch simply tussled his mane and the stallion chuckled. "Hey stop!"

"Who's a good stallion? Who's a good stallion?"

Scarecrow held the twins Cloudchaser and Flitter to his chest while the two whinnied in excitement.

Overwatch was slowly stroking Derpy Hooves' mane.

"So far, you're my favorite." muttered the sniper. While Derpy just chuckled.

"SHADOW!" called out Rainbow Dash.

"We really would' appreciate if if ya didn' go 'round cuddling everypony you see." beamed Applejack.

Shadow simply dropped the ponies they were embracing and followed the group, much to the crowd's displeasure who had grown fond of the sensation of fingers.

--------------

"Alright we're here!" announced Applejack as the group entered the bakery.

"By the way, how was staying here last night?" asked Scorch.

"Meh." replied Overwatch.

Mr. Cake came in the room. "Pinkie Pie is that...OH SWEET CELESTIA! THERE'S 4 OF THEM!"

The yellow earth pony ran inside kitchen followed by his wife. That left the two Cake twins who were fast asleep.

"You won't regret eating one of Pinkie's cupcakes." insisted Rainbow Dash.

"But unless you don't want to get too hyper, I'd suggest staring away from energy drink flavor. If that's okay with you." squeaked Fluttershy.

"How many times must we say it? We can't eat until further notice due to our medications." reminded Scarecrow.

"Don't be such a dopy pony!" cried out Pinkie, "We have a lot of flavors for you to try like chocolate, red velvet, vanilla, strawberry-"

"-Pinkie, we appreciate the generosity, but" X-ray paused. "Did you say red velvet?"

The party pony nodded. "Want a piece?"

Suddenly, the cake twins woke up and looked at Shadow with their beady eyes. The next thing everybody and everypony knew, the foals started crying at the sight of the frightening humans.

"Oh dear. Somepony do something before they go through a flight or magic spurt." warned Rarity.

"Don't worry everypony! I know what to do!" yelled Pinkie Pie. The pink mare grabbed a sack of flour with her sugar-
induced walk breaking skills and dumped the pile on the foals. Much to Shadows surprise, the cake twins felt ecstatic.

"What was that?" questioned Scarecrow. He got ready to take notes.

"Oh, when the twins get all sad. I just dump a pile of flour on them, it always works." responded the pink mare.

Scorch raised an eyebrow. There was nothing in flour that could make you happy by itself. He walked up to the flour sac, scraped some flour with his gloved finger and placed it under his bandanna. The demo man tasted the animated flour.

After a brief pause:

"This is cocaine."

---------------------

After a 20 minute sweep where they turned the entire bakery up side down, Scarecrow and Overwatch stepped outside of the facility. The Cake family and Pinkie was detained and restrained via kinetic barrier hand cuffs.

"Scorch, give me a sit rep." ordered Scarecrow.

"Well turns out the entire thing was misunderstanding." reported the demo man. "They're not involved in drug trade of any sorts and weren't even aware they were in possession of cocaine at all. How did the investigation go?"

"We managed to dispose all cocaine bags. Luckily, none of the baking equipment is drugged and the family seems to avoid using the fatal ones." explained Scarecrow.

"Pinkie Pie, how on Celestia did we get drugs into our bakery?" asked Mrs. Cake.

"I don't know. I might be crazy but I know better than to talk to shady ponies." responded the pink mare.

"Where do you even get our flour from?" questioned Mr. Cake.

"Oh, this funny looking old stallion comes in asking if we want some of his 'wares' which is a really funny name for flour if you ask me".

Mr. and Mrs. Cake wanted to strangle the party pony if they weren't tied up.

X-ray all the while had performed a series of drug test on the twins. "The foals are alright. Luckily they don't seem to swallow the drug and have inhaled an atomic amount. At worst, they'll grow up to be fucking Pinkie Pie."

"You're free to go." announced Scarecrow. "Just don't let Pinkie be in charge of flour anymore." He raised his hand and delivered a pulse punch to disable the kinetic barrier field.

The other mares arrived to further direct Shadow on their tour.

--------------------

"You only sell quills and sofas?" questioned Scorch.

"Why yes. That is my talent after all. You boys looking for a good old sofa or a quill to write on?" offered the store's owner Davenport.

"No offense sir, but no human has written with quills for hundreds of years. We barely use pencils as well." said Scarecrow. "And don't fillies and colts write with pencils?"

"Yeah, but many still use the good old quill. Pencils are just a fad." defended Davenport.

"Trust me, based on the path ponies are taking, they won't be. May we see your sofa collection however?" asked X-ray.

"Sure thing."

Davenport tried to open the door behind him. "Funny, it seems to be locked."

Overwatch rolled his eyes and gave the door a kick, bringing it down and splitting it in two. The store owner was left startled and stupefied.

The squad looked at the collection of couches and took not of the anachronisms.

"Some of these couches are renaissance, others are industrial era, others are 20th century." recorded Scarecrow.

"Has the design of this couch been a new creation?" pointed X-ray to a renaissance like furniture.

"Why no! We've had that design for thousands of years." laughed Davenport.

'Thousands? The renaissance was only a few centuries.' pondered X-ray.

"Davenport why do ponies want couched like these? Surely they don't suit quadrupeds well?" inquired Scorch.

"I don't know. We just thought we should invent them." responded Davenport.

"And why do ponies even have quills? Surely it is a pain to write with if you lack telekinesis." added Scarecrow.

Davenport laughed. "Not really, you just gotta hold it right in your teeth. See anything interesting boys?"

--------------

Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Rarity waited outside the store. Pinkie Pie had gone to plan for the party.

"I wonder if Shadow found anything they like." whispered Fluttershy.

Suddenly, the door slammed open and knocked all 4 mares aside. Out came Scarecrow carrying an industrial revolution era couch chair followed by Overwatch and Scorch dragging a renaissance couch that X-ray happily lied down on.

--------------

"So, I think we should head on the market next. You'll find a lot of cool things there!" cheered Rainbow Dash as she did a twirl in mid-air.

"Jus' don't go to any of the fruit stores. I swear they rip you off!" warned Applejack.

"Pfft. Privately owned stores, what a capitalist joke." laughed X-ray.

Shadow took some mental notes via their HUD on the items that they could find there. The humans and ponies walked along the road silently until:

"Oh my gosh! This is the best day ever!"

Shadow immediately turned around and pointed their weapons at.....a sea green unicorn.

Scarecrow unholstered his LMG. "You must have a good justification for sneaking up on 4 counter terrorists ma'am. "Please identify yourself."

"Oh no, not her." face hooded Rarity.

"I do have a good reason. My name is Lyra Heartstrings." the unicorn extended her hoof.

"Pleasure. What do you require?" questioned Scorch.

"Oh just your very existence." cheered the sea green unicorn.

"I beg your pardon?" muttered Overwatch.

"You see, ever since I was a filly, I was the only one amongst town to believe in the existence of aliens." started Lyra.

"Well, praise to you for being open minded." complimented X-ray.

"Yeah, but my friends thought differently. When I wanted to talk about aliens, I got dismissed as a freak. Almost nopony I knew wanted to be my friend. So much for harmony eh?" stated Lyra.

Scarecrow crossed his arms. "Ponies of all creatures did that to you? I want to have word with them."

"Growing up was hard. Because of my belief, I got name called, uninvited to parties and even BonBon herself kicked me out of the house for a while."

Scorch gave a flaming exhale. Nopony deserved to be treaded like that.

"But to pony hell with them. I get the feeling they'll be kissing my hooves for forgiveness tomorrow." chuckled Lyra. "So what does it fell like to have hands? They look so cool!"

Scarecrow gave his gloved fingers a twirl. "Grabby."

Lyra grinned. "So, if you're not doing anything tonight, how about one of you give a mare a ride she won't forget?"

That's when it got awkward.

Scorch's mouth dropped. "Pardon us?"

Lyra lowered her voice to a sly whisper. "Come now, surely you aliens need a little break from saving your species. Am I right?"

".....You're a lesbian. Fuck X-Gay." said Scarecrow quickly.

X-ray's eyes shot open. "Um, guys?" The masked soldier turned around, only to find that his 3 friends were no where behind him. He slowly turned to the horny mare. (no pun intended.)

"So what do you say?" purred Lyra dreamily.

"Aren't you supposed to be dating...you know mares?" nervously asked X-ray.

Lyra laughed and found herself hanging on X-ray's head. "Oh don't worry, I converted. Gender won't be a problem."

X-ray was about to explain how sexuality wasn't a choice and how you couldn't convert until-

The sea green unicorn hugged X-ray's leg. "Now come on. Show me your alien-"

Lyra couldn't remember how she ended up in the trash can.

--------------

Shadow and their 4 companion mares found themselves walking amongst the ponyville market. Countless sales ponies were calling at Shadow to go take a look at their merchandise.

"The laissez faire marketing, it burns." groaned Scorch.

"Keep your eyes peeled for anything we might need." ordered Scarecrow as he tried not to accidentally stomp somepony.

"Seriously, I'm all for fresh air shopping, but if there are no malls, than Ponyville's market system hasn't evolved beyond the bartering of medieval England." noted Scorch.

"Yet all of this merchandise is once again, renaissance and up." added X-ray.

Rarity turned around to face the humans. "Now we can stay here for an hour maximum. If you see anything that interests you, feel free to make a purchase. Why, there are some lavish souvenirs sold here you can buy."

Scarecrow rolled his eyes under his mask. "We might have a lot of saved money, but it's in UTF credits. Not whatever you use for currency."

"Well we use bits for currency." informed Rainbow Dash.

"There should be a place you can make an exchange 'round here." said Applejack.

"Thanks, but no thanks." replied Scorch. "Let's split, we'll get a lot of work done."

The members of Shadow, divided find anything they deemed a necessity to their research.

The entire marketplace was a wonder to Shadow. Every store they visited sold different items from different time periods of humanity. Some which did not make sense for hoofed ponies to utilize. Whenever asked about the nature of the object, Shadow got the same response. It was a recent creation.

Despite the medieval style of bargaining and store structure, there were 20th century cleaning materials, 19th clocks and cameras, and music stores that sold renaissance instruments as well as records that only played classical and dubstep.

After a moment of hard interrogation, Shadow would then ask if they could borrow an item for research, which the shop keeper quickly surrendered.

Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash bemusedly watched Scorch, who moved with impressive speed, drag a series of music items with a record player back to Twilight's library.

In the heart of the moment, a purple flash appeared before the eyes of the 4 mares. Suddenly, Twilight revealed herself to the market place. In return, the shoppers stopped activity and bowed.

Twilight, full of panic galloped to her friends.

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. "Twilight? You're back early."

The alicorn was breathing heavily and spoke quickly. "Is the town in ruined condition? Did Shadow execute somepony? Are they plotting a global invasion?"

"Relax, Twi. Everypony is jus' alright." laughed Applejack.

"I wouldn't say the same about their property though." whimpered Fluttershy.

Twilight turned around to see Scarecrow dragging a crate of medical supplies he got from the hospital.

The princess of magic turned to face her friends. "What's going on and where's Pinkie Pie?"

"Pinkie Pie is planning a surprise party for the humans." answered Rainbow Dash.

"Shadow on the other hoof, is in the midst of their research project." yawned Rarity. "I just wished they'd give it up."

Overwatch passed by the mares with a rack of multi era clothes.

Twilight fumed. "Oh for the love of Celestia."

The purple alicorn flew over to Scorch who was carrying series of artifacts he got from a souvenir shop.

"So Twilight, you're back early." noticed Scorch.

"That's right. What do you think your doing?" scolded Twilight.

"Science." replied the demo man.

"By stealing other ponies' property?"

"We're not stealing shit. We asked them if we could borrow it."

"You do realize they only said that because they were scared of you!"

"Doesn't matter. Besides, well return them. Eventually."

And without a second glance Scorch took off with his loot.

X-ray on the the other hand was transporting a crate of kitchen appliances from a home appliances store. Just as the masked rifleman was making his way-

"AAAAAHHHHH!"

An object crashed into X-ray's back. Luckily for him, his kinetic barrier had absorbed the impact. The rifleman turned around to see the object that crashed into him was a scooter. Laying on the ground next to it were 3 fazed out fillies he recognized as Applebloom, Sweetie Bell and Scootaloo. A pile of newspapers was scattered as well.

X-ray placed down the crate and helped the fillies up.

"What are you 3 adorable things doing?" asked X-ray playfully.

Scootaloo got up and squealed at the sight of X-ray. The other fillies got excited at the sight of the human as well.

"Well it's simple." winked the orange filly.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER DELIVERY PONIES!" cheered the trio.

The masked counter terrorist knitted his eyebrows. "Come again?"

"We're trying to get our cutie marks in delivery." responded Sweetie Bell.

The memory hit X-ray. "Oh you mean those tattoos you get when you find your talent."

"Yeah! How did you get your cutie mark X-ray?" asked Applebloom.

"Humans don't get cutie marks." laughed X-ray.

"But then what is that?" pointed Sweetie Bell to the symbol on X-ray's arm.

"That isn't a cutie mark, it is the symbol of the 23rd." informed the rifleman.

"Then how are humans supposed to know what their special talent is if you don't get cute marks?" asked Scootaloo.

"You just find something you're good at." chuckled the rifleman.

"But how are other ponies supposed to know you're not a blank flank?" inquired Applebloom.

"Humans don't have flanks and why do you care so much about talents?"

The crusaders gasped.

"Our talents are supposed to determine what we're going to be when we grow up!" yelled Scootaloo.

"Yeah, we have to find out what our talents mean pronto. We're the only blank flanks in school!" added Sweetie Bell.

"There is no need for you to find your talents right now." insisted X-ray.

"Yes there is!" yelled Applebloom. "This is the age for us to be focusing on our future."

"No this is the age for you to be enjoying your education and trying to make the most out of yourself." countered X-ray.

"Our school ends soon. We can't afford to be blank flanks any longer." stammered Sweetie Bell.

X-ray's mouth dropped. "Wait a minute, you mean society puts pressure on fillies and colts to find out their professions at this age?"

The fillies nodded. "Don't humans do the same thing?" asked Scootaloo.

The commando couldn't believed what he was hearing. "No! We humans aren't forced to decide our job callings until our late teens. Children are supposed to be given the time to discover and help themselves learn what it means to be a part of the ingenuity that is the universe."

X-ray turned to face the group of mares. Twilight was in the middle of hearing about Shadow's uncovering of drugs stored in SugarCube corner.

"Hey Twilight!" called out the rifleman.

The alicorn turned around. "What is it X-ray?"

"I heard ponies are forced to decipher their careers at a young age. Is that true?"

Twilight laughed. "Of course. How are ponies supposed to find out their careers if they don't start young?"

"What the hell does Equestria think it can do with the way it treats young children?" ranted the hooded rifleman.

Twilight looked confused. "Excuse me?"

"It's bad enough you force kids to take standardized tests, but you honestly put pressure on them to find out their job callings as well?"

The purple mare was dumbfounded. "Well, that's how pony society works."

The scrawny rifleman would have spat if it wasn't for his mask. "That's horrible, you need to change the system right away. Fillies and Colts should be enjoying their childhood and be allowed to be free from any kind restraint!"

The alicorn glared at the human. "Then how are ponies supposed to discover their careers? Don't humans-"

"No! The UTF do not force children to make life changing decisions and discoveries like that. Do you have any idea how crazy it is to make fillies and colts decide careers at that age?"

Twilight remained silent to see where this was going. The other elements of harmony were dumbfounded.

"Do you want to know why humans don't force kids to choose professions at such a young age? Because we change. As humans grow older, we begin to improve ourselves and that's when we find our true talents. Since we go to school above 11 years old we have more time to explore out true selves and find out what our strengths really are. What you're good at as a kid might not be relevant as an adult. For example, when I was young, I wanted to be an engineer."

The elements of harmony were dumbfounded.

"Wait, so if ah waited a few years and continued goin' ta school, ah would have had a different job?" pondered Applejack.

"Maybe I'm not really cut out to be an animal caretaker." worried Fluttershy.

"To be fair, I can't really debunk the whole system." continued X-ray. "I mean, you're all good at what your cutie mark says. I just hate how young children are pressured."

The elements looked relived. Rarity wiped her sweating forehead.

"But, we still want to get our cutie marks anyway." complained Sweetie Bell.

"What have you tried so far?" groaned the rifleman.

Scootaloo brightened up. "We tried all sorts of things. We tried hang gliding, para sailing, lion tamers and stunt ponies."

"Do you have any idea how dangerous trying those talents are?" scolded X-ray.

"Yeah!" cheered the orange filly. "Rainbow Dash said to always go for the cool and awesome."

"Do yourself a favor and never listen to Rainbow Dash again." instructed X-ray. "She'll get you killed."

"But you're a soldier! You're special talent is fightin'." defended Applebloom.

"This isn't my true calling." explained the counter terrorist. "I might be good at serving the armed forces. But my true passion lies in the fields of congressional debates."

"Huh?" muttered the crusaders.

"Look. Your logic is flawed." began the thin soldier. "First of all, what makes you think all 3 of you have the same talent?"

The fillies looked at each other as if they got hit by a gauss bullet. Sweetie Bell spoke up.

"Well, it can happen. I mean aren't all of your friends ninja/spies too?"

X-ray cursed in Armenian. "I told you before, this isn't our true passion. I want to be a politician, Scarecrow wants to be an author, Overwatch an artist, and Scorch a hockey player."

"So why are you in the military?" inquired Applebloom.

"Because we're good at it. But just because you're good at something, doesn't mean you should pursue it. Our time in the 23rd is limited. Soon, we'll be off to our true careers."

"That doesn't make sense. If you're good at something, that should be your job!" retorted Scootaloo.

"Colgate has a glass hour cutie mark, but she's a dentist." pointed X-ray. "Sure, you should be good at your job, but what is truly important is if you're happy."

"To be honest, I don't think I'd be happy doing all the stuff we try out for the rest of my life." confessed Applebloom.

"So why do you try something that dangerous if you're not going to be happy." questioned X-ray.

"Because they're awesome!" boasted Scootaloo."

"Just because something is awesome, doesn't mean you should pursue it." suggested the slender commando.

"So how do you plan on us getting you're cutie marks?" chimed in Sweetie Bell.

"Simple. What do you 3 like? Not as a group, but as individuals." instructed X-ray.

"I like many things!" smiled Applebloom. "I could show you all my favorite things at the clubhouse."

X-ray had an epiphany. "Clubhouse? Did any one of you build it?"

"Yeah it was Applebloom. She did a great job!" declared Scootaloo.

"Applebloom, could you build me a drawer?" requested X-ray.

"Sure thing!" cheered the yellow earth pony. To the the slender human's surprise, Applebloom masterfully gathered a selection of planks, nails and a hammer which she used to construct an elegant, Victorian era drawer.

"Now please build me a nightstand." calmly said X-ray.

Applebloom gleefully and skillfully did so. The nightstand she constructed however was more colonial times.

The skinny commando was pleased. "Applebloom, go with wood work. You're awfully good at it and you seem pretty content while doing carpentry."

The earth pony's eyes widened. "Wow, that does sound like a good idea." Suddenly in Applebloom's brain, the realization of her talent triggered a series of impulses which immediately traversed to the skin cells on her flank and reorganized the pigments in order to form an image of a log and saw based on mental images from her memories.

In other words, she got her cutie mark.

Applebloom looked at her flank and upon seeing the image, screamed loudly with joy.

"Do me next!" blurted Scootaloo.

X-ray gave a moment's thought. "I suggest you work with your scooter by entering sporting events based on the object. You seem pretty proficient at it."

"Do you think so?" chirped the pegasus filly.

"Well scoot is in your name, so it would be pretty funny." laughed X-ray.

Scootaloo gave it a moment's thought "That sounds like a cool idea. After all, scooters are awesome!"

And the orange filly got a picture of a blue scooter on her flank.

After noticing her cutie mark, Scootaloo fainted.

"What about me? I don't think I'm good at anything." sighed Sweetie Bell.

X-ray tried to think what she'd be good at. The commando didn't know why, but because he enjoyed Sweetie Bell's voice so much, he scanned her vocal cords with his visor. Remarkably, they were in pristine condition.

"My suit informed me that your voice is of genuine quality. Could you try singing for me please?"

The unicorn filly perked up. "Sure, I love singing!"

Sweetie Bell sang a few notes for X-ray, sure enough she sounded like an angel.

"You're voice is lovely. I'd suggest going with singing." proposed the scrawny counter terrorist.

In the heart of the moment, a microphone cutie mark appeared on Sweetie Bell's bottom, causing the filly to start prancing around uncontrollably.

The crusaders huddled up and cheered.

"NO MORE CRUSADING FOR US!"

As the filly's admired their cutie marks, they each made sure to thank X-ray. The hooded commando couldn't help but feel joy as he helped those young ones in their dilemma.

The former crusaders ran to the clubhouse to celebrate, catching the attention of the older mares.

Rarity was in shock. "Was that Sweetie Bell?"

So was Rainbow Dash. "And Scootaloo?

As well as Applejack. "And Applebloom?"

Twilight's mouth hung open. "With their cutie marks?"

"Affirmative." called out X-ray.

The 5 mares looked at the tall human with utter awe.

"Wow, ya got Applebloom her cutie mark! Thanks partner, ah was starting to get worried about her." thanked Applejack.

"Those fillies were at it for years!" exclaimed Rarity. "By Celestia, how long did you take to find out their talents?"

X-ray looked at the time on his HUD. "10 minutes and 13 seconds."

"Well, good job." complimented Fluttershy.

Twilight was sweating. "How could have you discovered their talents so quickly?"

X-ray pointed at his skull. "Simple, I used rationality rather than 'the awesome'. Rainbow Dash."

The Rainbow Maned pegasus gave the human a scowl.

Suddenly, the rest of Shadow arrived at the scene.

"Hey X-gay, where were you?" called out Scarecrow.

"I was having a chat with a few fillies." answered the commando.

"So now that you're done hoarding everything you lay eyes on, can we continue the tour?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"If that's okay with you." whimpered Fluttershy.

"That's a negative." denied Scorch. "We've set up our apparatus at Twilight's house. We need to get to work immediately."

"Hey, who said you could use my room as a lab?" puffed Twilight.

"Surely, you of all ponies would be interested in our experiment." crossed Scarecrow.

"I just don't think it's so necessary for you to get so worked up about a few coincidences!" defended the alicorn.

"Well excuse us for not being able to accept your world copying ours." snorted Scorch.

Rarity fixed her hair. "But you know what is inexcusable? Missing the jousting tournament!"

Shadow's brains split in two. After an awkward pause.

"Do you even know what jousting is?" questioned Overwatch.

"Of course, I once challenged Dash to a game once." whispered Fluttershy.

"Don't remind me." muttered the cyan pegasus.

Scarecrow inhaled. "During Medieval times, we humans had a sport where two men would knock each other off their transport with lances."

"Exactly. Dat's how joustin' works." revealed Applejack.

"But our transports were horses." informed X-ray. "Why would ponies find it necessary to invent a game that requires a bi-ped to ride a horse?"

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Well it's the most popular game in Equestria after-"

"Let me guess, soccer, basket ball, or any other primitive sport no human plays?" interrupted Scorch.

"No. I don't even know what those sports are. The most popular activity in Equestria is bowling." finished the alicorn.

Shadow's brain split in 4.

"Bowling? As in the sport where you have to roll a ball to knock down a series of pins." muttered Scarecrow.

The ponies nodded.

"It's not a sport a lady would admire, but it is certainly exciting." dramatized Rarity.

X-ray brightened up. "HOLY SHIT! THIS IS PERFECT!"

Fluttershy tried to ignore the swear. "Oh my, you must love bowling."

Scarecrow laughed like an insane man. "NO. You just helped validate our theory further. Ponies ARE the echo of humanity."

"Yeesh partner, would you let it go already?" stammered Applejack.

"SILENCE! You uneducated redneck." shrieked Scorch.

Overwatch was the only one to suppress his temporary insanity. "In bowling, does the ball have 3 holes?"

"Yeah, I don't know why we have them." shrugged Rainbow Dash

X-ray calmed down. "The holes in the ball are meant for fingers." X-ray gave his a twirls. "The reason why put them there is to evolve like humanity."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "That's just crazy."

"How long have ponies had bowling?" asked Scarecrow with a grin under his mask.

"Few decades." answered Rarity. He grandfather was a forefather of the sport.

"Well we humans have had it for centuries." claimed Scorch. "See, you're copying humanity."

"But they don't have soccer or basket ball." noted X-ray.

"We have to get research done right away!" ordered Scarecrow.

Applejack looked disappointed. "But, what about da tour?"

"Your town is beyond our consideration as of the moment." growled Scarecrow. "Alright Shadow, let's move."

Without a second glance, the 4 humans apathetically took off.

Author's Notes:

Longest chapter yet! Wish more people would appreciate it though.

Why does X-ray always get the nuts? I found this would be a good time to develop him since he has the lest defined personality of Shadow.

Next chapter, you'll be in for a smashing surprise.