Archmage: Beyond the Crystal Mirror - “Determination”

Tags: Normal

-----------

“I’m not asking you to tell me what you saw, or what you did,” Luna and Celestia sat opposite Twilight, looks of concern painted across both their faces. Celestia looked especially worried. “But we need to know what you learned while you were on the other side of the mirror, Twilight. Anything you can and will share. If not for your own benefit, than for anyone else who wishes to use it.”

“No.” Twilight lifted a hoof, cutting Celestia off right then and there. “No one other than us should ever be permitted to use that mirror. There are things on the other side nopony should ever see. You want my advice? Destroy this mirror like Luna did the last one. Or barricade it off with the same shields we use to protect the crystals beneath Canterlot.” Twilight was quivering in her seat. Her coat had been cleaned of the black ash that she had accumulated during her five-day-long wait on the other side of the mirror, but she still wore a haggard, worn look. The things she had seen; or more accurately, the things she had done still weighed heavily on her mind.

“Is this mirror really that dangerous?” Celestia asked quietly. “What happened on the other side that impacted you so, Twilight?” She had suffered this same question for three days straight. Luna had promised she would never pry, that she wouldn’t ask Twilight what she had done. But Celestia hadn’t made that promise. Her sister was determined to discover what had happened, and had been asking Twilight day in and day out ever since her return from the nightmarish parallel dimension. Now, it seemed, Luna was taking Celestia’s side. She wasn't asking directly, but Twilight knew her lover wanted to know just as badly as Celestia did.

Twilight had had enough of their pestering.

“You want to know what I saw, Celestia? You want to know what nightmare lies behind the mirror, in the world I visited?” Twilight’s jaw was set, and her expression was angry. Celestia had braced herself for Twilight’s wroth, but it seemed she wasn’t quite prepared for this reaction. “Fine. Follow me.” Twilight spun about and left the hall. Celestia and Luna hadn’t quite been expecting that reaction, but they followed her nevertheless. Twilight led them out of the well-furnished halls and passages of the crystal kingdom’s main castle and down into the roughly-hewn passageways and corridors that led to the crystal mirror. The three princesses made a silent procession, the only sound being the hoof-falls coming back to their ears off of the walls.

When they emerged into the chamber with the mirror, Twilight felt a sense of dread and terror wash over her. She shuddered visibly and turned to the other two princesses. It was Luna she addressed. “Send her there.” Twilight grimaced, her jaw set. “Send her to the world I visited last. Let her see what I did to you two if I had chosen to become a Goddess.”

“Twilight, you can’t be serious-“

“I am.” Twilight glared at Celestia. “She wants to know what has me so ‘shaken.’ So ‘disturbed.’ Show her, then. You’re going to arrive just outside of Canterlot, Celestia. Walk to Ponyville and see what happened there. See what I did. See what I had to do.”

“Twilight, let’s be reasonable-“

“I am being reasonable, Luna.” Twilight cut the lunar princess off with a stern look. “Celestia wants to know what I saw, and I cannot possibly convey that horror in words. She wants to see what happened to her world. She wants me to tell her what I did while I was there. I can’t tell her. So you show her.” There was a long, tense silence between them. Luna looked helplessly between Celestia and Twilight several times before dropping her gaze to the floor.

“I can’t. I vowed I would never send you back there. If you can’t handle it, what makes you think either of us can?”

“Fine.” Twilight huffed and turned towards the portal. Her horn blazed to life, lighting the chamber with her powerful, lavender glow. With a hissing sound, she wiped the surface of the mirror clean, recalling the arcane signature she had felt passing through the portal both ways. Luna might be the one who could tell the differences between worlds, but Twilight could revisit any world she had been to by remembering the specific resonance. After thirty seconds, she had it. She glared back at Celestia.

“Go, sister. Step through the portal and see what I saw. Remember. Go to Ponyville. What’s left of it.” Luna was shocked, but Celestia’s jaw was set determinately. She cast one sidelong glance at Twilight before stepping through the portal. Twilight unceremoniously threw her own saddlebags, still filled with supplies, in after her. Then she turned to Luna. “Why must you defy me like this?” Twilight asked. She advanced on Luna, her eyes already brimming with tears.

“I’m not defying you, Twilight, I’m-“

“I asked something of you, Luna. Something reasonable.”

“You asked me to send my sister to the same world I sent you, and by the heavens, Twilight, do you remember the nightmares you’ve been having the past few nights?” The question took Twilight by surprise. Truth be told, she didn’t. Not that she wanted to, so at least there was that, but still. She couldn’t recall any of her dreams since she returned from the other world. Luna could. Her realm was that of the night, and dreams. From the look on her face in that moment, Twilight’s dreams had been anything but enjoyable.

“No…”

“I don’t want any of us to suffer through that, Twilight.” Luna continued. “The things you see in your dream… If they’re anything like what happened in that world, I don’t want anypony, least of all my sister, to see what you did.” Luna’s look was frightening just then. She wasn’t being caring or compassionate just then. She was being defensive. Defensive against Twilight.

“Luna, you don’t honestly think I’d-“

“I do, Twilight.” Luna cut her off, stepping forward. “You did it to the Luna and Celestia in the other world. Is that what you call ‘peace?’ Twilight, you killed Celestia and I. How can I forget that? Do you honestly think there will be justification for your actions?”

“I do.” Twilight lifted her head high, looking down at Luna. “I know what I did was right. There was no solace for you two, not in that world. Death was a release for you.”

“Twilight, we can’t die-“

“Can’t you?” Twilight’s horn began to burn again, this time casting the same magic she had just a few days prior. The brilliant lavender light pulsated off of the walls, even as she began to hone to blade. In a few seconds, Twilight held a lavender sword, the hum of energy filling the chamber they stood in. Luna’s eyes were wide, and she began to slowly back away.

“Twilight… What are you doing…”

“Relax, Luna.” Twilight’s face was sad, even though she held the magic blade between the two of them. Its edges were difficult to define, with all of the magical energy it was emitting, but Twilight knew it was a wickedly-curved saber, thinner than a razor and lighter than air. She could swing it with unbelievable speed and cut through even diamond. Not to mention other spells. In fact, that’s what it was designed to do.

“I designed this spell shortly after becoming a princess… The gods I met when I nearly died told me that if I were to return to Equestria a Princess, I would have to face a lot of pain. Suffering. There might even come a day when Equestria itself was going to perish. When it would just be the four of us alone in the world… I developed this spell for a release. If ever we felt like we could no longer shoulder the burdens of immortality, I would… I would…” Twilight’s tears spilled over, falling to the stone floor one by one. She closed her eyes, sobbing softly as the spell dissipated.

“Shh. It’s okay.” Much to her surprise, Luna came to comfort her. “I can understand your reasoning. I didn’t know they told you such things. You never really told us anything about that encounter…”

“I’m sorry.” Twilight sniffled, burying her face into Luna’s mane. The tears came fast and free as she collapsed against her love, crying helplessly. “That place… It’s so terrible.”

“Shh. I know, I know.” Luna’s hoof gingerly stroked through her mane, slowly calming her down. It was then that Celestia returned through the mirror.

“By the sun,” She panted, stumbling a few steps before coming to a shaky halt before Twilight and Luna. “You… You… You killed them. How?” Celestia’s normally-brilliant white coat was wreathed in ash, and her eyes were bloodshot. A world devoid of sun had to do that to her. She looked worse than when she had visited the first world for a week without food. She looked dirty, tired, and above all, frightened.

“Twilight developed a spell,” Luna said quietly. “To give us release if we ever… Felt like we couldn’t go on.” That seemed to take Celestia by surprise even more. She looked at Twilight, held in Luna’s embrace, like she were impending doom. She looked truly scared for her life. Almost as if Twilight would kill her then and there.

“You discovered a way to kill us?” Celestia asked apprehensively, backing away a step. “H-how?”

“It’s… Complicated.” Twilight sniffed, slowly pulling away from Luna. She wiped a hoof across her eyes, looking at Celestia miserably. “But I had to find a way to sever certain links in spells. The easiest way to envision it was with a blade. And, coincidentally, the link I had to sever lies right here.” Twilight’s horn glowed as she raised a hoof towards her neck. Right where Luna’s pendant rested against the hollow of her neck, a glowing point emerged. If one were to look closely, they would see a very intricate and complex spell diagram, one that mystified even Celestia and Luna. But Twilight understood it.

“This is our immortality. This is what keeps our hearts beating, and allays the effect time has on our bodies. If I were to stab or cut this with that blade… We would die. Just like the Celestia and Luna in that world did. I couldn’t leave them like that, Celestia. I just couldn’t. You were miserable, your magic ripped away from you. And Luna… You were… You were a monster.” Twilight swallowed past the lump in her throat, looking at her lover with tear-filled eyes. “Another Twilight from a different dimension visited that world, and you… You killed her.”

The look on Luna’s face said it all. She could see herself doing such a thing, even in that other world. Twilight continued.

“The fallout of my prophecy robbed the world of sunlight and moonlight. The day nor the night held any sway there. You two were devoid of power, and driven mad with thousands of years of neglect. You were alone in that wasteland. Celestia, Luna, believe me. I had to grant your counterparts peace. I couldn’t go on knowing they existed like that.”

“Twilight, we’ve been over this. Those worlds… They don’t exist-“

“But they DO.” Twilight interjected. “They’re alive and real! At first, I couldn’t interact with that world. And it was easy to believe that it wasn’t real. That it was just a projection or a shade of the mirror. But when Luna told me what had happened after she had killed the other Twilight, I knew it. These worlds, they’re… They’re real. Everypony there lives, breathes, loves, and cries just like us. Just like the ponies here. They can feel, and they have a form. Celestia, Luna, these worlds… They exist. And they are very, very real. That Luna, she killed a Twilight from another world. That Twilight is dead, and will never go back to her world. She wasn’t a princess. She didn’t have wings. It stands to reason she had friends. How do you think the other elements of harmony feel? They probably watched her go into the portal. How long will they wait for her? A year? Two? Ten? How long until they realize their friend is dead? How many other worlds are like this?”

Silence fell after Twilight’s little speech, each of them considering the weight of her words. Celestia stood after a while, looking sadly between her two sisters. “I need to clean myself. Please excuse me. We should discuss this further.” She slowly plodded away, leaving Twilight and Luna standing in front of the portal. The two of them were silent as well, each of them not looking at one another. Twilight couldn’t handle the silence. She had had enough of that after she had killed Luna and Celestia in the parallel world. Five days of it.

“How much do you hate me now?”

“I don’t hate you, Twilight.” Luna said quietly, walking forward until she pressed her forehead against Twilight’s. Their horns sparked when they touched, sending a quick flash of dark-purple light through the chamber. “I’m honestly just surprised. You did something neither Celestia or I could ever have imagined possible. If we did, we just might have tried ourselves.”

“Why would you want to die?” Twilight asked sadly. “Was Nightshade’s betrayal really that bad?”

“No, it wasn’t,” Luna sighed, pressing a little closer. “But the punishment for what I did afterwards was. A thousand years alone, with nothing but a bleak, grey moon to keep you company? I tried several times to take my life, Twilight. Falling from great heights didn’t do it. I couldn’t burn myself, or blast myself to pieces, or cut my own head off, or anything. I either healed, or it just plain didn’t work.” Tears dotted Twilight’s coat where Luna shed them, but she let the lunar princess continue crying. “That was all before I met you, Twilight. Before I saw the light.”

“Luna, I-“

“I’m not done.” Luna pulled away, looking at Twilight with bloodshot, red eyes. “Once you became Archmage… No, when you became my lover… That’s when I realized. I’d have you forever. Maybe not in body, but at least in my heart. Twilight, you made my life. I had your memory to keep me going. I could have lasted throughout eternity with your memory in my heart. But then it got even better. You’re here with me, body, mind, and spirit, and I have you forever. I don’t care about anything else. If the world burned away, even if Celestia were to leave us… I’d still have you.” Luna reached out to her, clinging to her desperately. “Please don’t leave me, Twilight. I need you.”

------------

Twilight didn’t sleep that night. She couldn’t. She knew the nightmares would be seen by Luna, and her lover was sleeping peacefully for the first time in who-knew-how-many nights. Twilight lay with her, keeping Luna wrapped in her legs from dawn to dusk. Only when it was time to raise the moon did Twilight kiss her awake.

“Hmm.” Luna blinked and woke, looking up at Twilight with a faint smile on her lips. “I dreamt of you.”

“You did?” Twilight smiled right back at her. Luna dreaming was a rare thing. “Do you remember it?”

“Only parts.” Luna muttered, nuzzling into Twilight’s neck softly. “But they are good parts. I remember our first time, or when you came back from the library…”

“That sounds lovely.” Twilight stroked Luna’s ephemeral mane gently, closing her eyes as Luna began to slowly wake up.

“Did you sleep?”

“I was too busy looking at your beautiful face.”

“Oh shush.” Luna didn’t look up, but Twilight could feel her blush nevertheless. “But honestly, did you?”

“… No.” Twilight admitted. “I don’t want you to see my nightmares. And besides, you were sleeping so peacefully.”

“Hmm. Well don’t do that.” Luna kissed Twilight’s cheek. “I don’t want you missing out on rest.”

“I’m fine. I slept plenty the past few days.”

“Speaking of sleep…” Luna craned her neck to look out the nearby window. “We ought to relieve Celestia.”

“Yes, lets.” Twilight gave Luna a quick, soft kiss before rolling out of bed. She stretched her legs and wings, which were tight and sore from holding herself in the same place all night. She was still somewhat unused to sleeping with wings. Still, being a princess came with certain sleep deprivation perks. She felt awake, lucid, and energetic despite not having slept all night. She could go for months like this. Celestia only recently went two hundred years without rest, and when Luna was on the moon, she seldom slept more than an hour in a hundred years. The only reason Twilight and Luna even slept regularly was for the novelty of sleeping with one another.

Celestia was waiting for them on the crystal palace’s upper-most balcony. Cadance was with her as well. Together, the four princesses stood in a circle.

“Shall we talk before or after the cycle?” Twilight asked quietly.

“I think afterwards.” Cadance stepped forward, her expression determined. Celestia and Luna nodded their agreement. Twilight acquiesced by throwing up a powerful shield between herself and Celestia and Luna. Cadance came to stand by her side, looking through the transparent barrier as Celestia and Luna went about cycling the sun and moon. Once night had descended upon Equestria, Twilight let the shield drop. Cadance and Celestia stood off to one side, while Luna stood beside Twilight. It felt almost like they were divided. Almost.

“Twilight, I saw what you had done in the other world.” Celestia began. “And while I might not agree with what you did exactly, I can see your reason for doing so. Bringing change about in that world is difficult, and in places, all but impossible. Without my own power, Luna herself never would have been able to do it. So changing the world back to the way it had been and starting again would have been impossible. But there were other ways to put their minds at ease. Perhaps you could have taken them to a different world or-“

“She couldn’t.” Luna interjected, shaking her head. “I’ve been studying the portal the past few days. I don’t know about other portals in other worlds, but ours doesn’t tolerate interference. Nothing can come into our world from the portal. It stands to reason that nothing from other worlds can come in as well.”

“How would you explain the ash, then?” Twilight chimed in, gesturing to herself and Celestia. “Both of us were veritably covered in it when we returned. If substances like ash can come through, why not organisms?”

“The magical interference.” Luna returned. “Ash is dead. Deader than dead. In a magical sense, it has no importance. To magic, ash doesn’t even really exist. Material things that have no magical influence inside of them can pass freely. Food, even raw materials like dead wood or steel, these things can come through. But anything that has magic in it cannot. Will not.”

“I’m sure there’s a way.” Twilight frowned with thought. “Perhaps a barrier… If I could mimic the portal’s aura, and cast a barrier implanted with it, anyone within the barrier might be able to pass. The portal would just recognize it as its own energy.”

“Perhaps.” Cadance tapped her lower lip with a hoof, frowning down at the crystal floor beneath them. “Her theory is sound. We ought to give it a try.”

“But,” Celestia stepped forward then, looking intently at Twilight. “This would mean re-entering the portal. Not just once, but multiple times. Twilight, can you handle it? Can you handle seeing other worlds, some of them similar to, or maybe even worse than, the one you visited previously?”

Her words sent a shiver up Twilight’s spine. She dare not think about visiting such a world again. The nightmares, both real and in her dreams, were almost unbearable. Idly, Twilight lifted a hoof to her breast. She felt the pendant there, cool and heavy. Luna gently pressed against her side. She couldn’t help it. In light of all the terrors plaguing her mind, Twilight smiled.

“I can handle it; no, I have to handle it... For Equestria. For all those other worlds.” Twilight smiled at Luna.

“For the ones we love.”