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Uh-Huh, Honey

by Jake Roberts

Chapter 2: Black Skinhead

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Black Skinhead

Hey guys,

The Wonderbolts. What more do I need to say?

I swear, things have gotten so awesome. I’m gonna need a theme song and everything! I’ll start dressing in all black like a Shadowbolt if I can help it. Everything’s coming up Rainbow Dash!

The eyes of all the little ponies are on me, and I’m loving it! Of course, the only downside to that is the press. And no, I’m not talking that paparazzi garbage, either. I’m talking about all these reporter-types who ask me the same stupid questions over and over again.

It’s like... if you even need to ask about the awesomeness of me, you clearly don’t get it. It’s not worth explaining, either. It should be obvious to anyone with eyes.

But yeah... other than that, everything’s better than before.

Some nights, at like four in the morning, I’m just sort of zoning out at my loft. Spitfire usually gets nervous and thinks I’m possessed or that it’s a sign, but she couldn’t be more wrong. I’m not possessed, I’m just wide awake. I’m calm and collected, like the ancient pegasi.

I’m living in the moment. For the longest time, I was just Rainbow Crash. I was all bark and no bite. I was my own menace to my awesomeness. But now I’m here, and it ain’t over ‘til it’s over. I’m devoted to what I am. You know it!

There are ponies who are gonna try and follow me. Let them if they can try! I’m going five hundred miles an hour, and I’m not talking about how fast I can fly, either (although, now that I mention that...).

I’m not a stupid kid anymore. I’m not what I was in Ponyville. I’ve become a werewolf who pounces in the night, and I’ll become the King of Cloudsdale and all parts below, but nothing has blinded me. I’m not just gonna sleep in the tomb and do no nothing. I’m a mare of action!

I think that’s what’s gonna set me apart from the rest. I see the Bolts, and I see all these other famous ponies that I encounter on tour. They’re not breathing the air of fame, guys! They’re not letting it improve them! They’re gasping, they’re asleep, and they’re blinded.

I see all of this and I know I don’t want to be that. At five hundred miles an hour, I can go anywhere. I’m going everywhere. Direction is irrelevant.

I’ll do it all with a calm head. I live in the clouds, but I sure as shit ain’t getting clouded. It’s all out there for me, and it’s all for the taking, and no, I’m not talking diamonds and mares. Those just cloud the mind! I’m talking about real glory. I’m talking about actually changing things for the better! The old me is dead and gone, guys. I’m awake. I’m living in the moment, and you know it!

Write back soon, you guys.

-Rainbow Dash

Author's Note:

There will be two more updates for this, in which four songs at a time will be published. The reason I only have two out right now is because I just really wanted to get this one out to see what people thought. As you can no doubt tell, this is my first time experimenting with songfics.

God damnit, Ye's such a muse.

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