“I'm surprised how many enchanted objects you have from old Equestria – and how well preserved they are – most of these items should have failed long ago. The enchanters of the time weren't exactly known for robust enchantments, I think they called it 'planned obsolescence' or something.” Rainbow Dash put the Buzzy Bubbles' Horn Massager VII back on it's shelf.

“Planned obsolescence? That certainly explains quite a lot. The notes from the previous caretakers showed an incredible amount of effort going into the preservation of the artifacts.” Theory paused for a second, “It really is fascinating just how many tasks the old Equestrians accomplished solely with magic. I guess they didn't have access to electricity or the steam engine, so all their 'modern' conveniences had to come from magic instead.” Theory rubbed her hoof across an enchanted square of slate that performed the functions of a scale.

“The old Equestrians were used to magical devices, they would find electric appliances just as strange.”

“I know, but as a classically trained unicorn mage, I can't help but find it all slightly sacrilegious.”

Rainbow chuckled, “That opinion was far from unknown back then, in fact the Council of Archmagi's official position on the subject was that such objects were an insult to magic. Although it was doubtful they actually avoided using them in private.”

“You know, and don't take this the wrong way, but you are surprisingly well read on ancient history, I never took you for an academic.”

Rainbow made a puzzled expression, “I don't know what you are talking about, I barely passed history class in flight school. I just found it really boring.”

Theory was silent as she stared at the pegasus mare, She's bucking with me, isn't she? Ugh, why are ponies so confusing.

“Now not to be rude, but as impressive as it is that you have managed to preserve such objects, I was kind of hoping for things more exciting than shoddy mass-produced household objects.”

“Oh, you want impressive? How about the most mysterious object in House Twilight's possession, so mysterious that we have no idea when it was even created?” Theory started as she trotted deeper into the workshop.

“Uh, sure. That sounds interesting.” Rainbow followed the unicorn researcher.

“It was acquired by House Twilight by trading with an ancient dragon, and Lady Twilight Aurora the Great herself was convinced that it was the key to immortality.”

“Wow, sounds impressive.”

Theory stopped and gestured to sword-rack holding an oversized sword in it's sheath.

“Cool.” Why does that sword seem so familiar?

“This sword is technically a bastard sword despite easily being large enough to be a greatsword. Our best theory is that it was the sword of a dragon, but it could have been made for a large minotaur or griffon or even ...”

“She's the sword of an alicorn.”

“Uh, okaaayyy.” How could you possibly know that? Theory sighed, “The reason why we have so little knowledge of the sword is due to it's only known magical properties, it is completely immune to magic of any kind and is seemingly completely indestructible. Every analysis spell fails, it's invisible to scrying spells, it cannot be hidden with an illusion, it can cut through the strongest shield without any resistance, it can survive 72 hours of uninterrupted Hellfire without even becoming warm, and a pony can't even pick the bloody thing because it even blocks the magic that pony hooves use to manipulate thingssss ...” Theory trailed off as she stared at the small pegasus mare standing in a bipedal stance holding the large sword – which had abandoned it's former drab grey for a frantically coruscating rainbow of colours – in both forehooves.

“Wait, what was that about Hellfire?!” Rainbow said absentmindedly as she examined the sword.

“What. The. Actual. Buck?”

Rainbow sheathed the large sword and then placed the sheath on her back where it magically adhered. “I need some proper straps, don't really trust the sticking enchantment on her sheath, such things are too easy to disrupt in battle.”

Theory was silent in disbelief.

“Now why don't you show me some more of your artifacts, if you had Iridescence you must have some other cool things.”

“You know what, sure, I'll show you more of our artifacts. Maybe you'll figure out one of our artifacts is secretly the bucking Philosopher's Stone or something.”

---

“Oh, hey girls, funny to see you here.” Twilight said awkwardly.

“It, really ain't.” Applejack stated in confusion. “It's as much our castle as yours, even if we ain't living in it.”

“'Aren't', dear. 'we aren't living in it'” Rarity corrected, earning an eye roll from the farm mare. “Now, Twilight, this is an excellent opportunity for us to meet Noble House that raised a powerful mage like you.”

“Um, I don't really think that's a good idea.”

Rarity sighed, “Now, Twilight, I know that you are so desperate to appear normal. You are like the storybook prince who ran away from his castle to work as a farm-stallion, and was destined to fall in love with the seamstress living in the nearby town. It is so obvious now, why you were so hesitant to show your immense magical prowess, how you never told your closest friends about your brother – the Captain of the Royal Guard – who was betrothed to a princess, or how you are the heir of a powerful, respected, ancient, esteemed, truly Noble house of Unicornia. You don't need to hide yourself from us.”

“Wut?”

Rarity sashayed forward and put a hoof over the stallion's shoulder, “After Rainbow broke the news that Twilight House is part of the nobility, it all made sense. You don't need to worry about me treating you differently, I understand your desire for the simplicities of rural life.”

“It's House Twilight, not Twilight House.” Twilight sighed and turned to his cousin, “Aura, do you think you could key the wards against your Frost and Passion, and the telepad against Frost, this might be a while”

“I can do that.” Aura took the pouch containing the attuned crystals and galloped off.

“Rarity, would you get off of me, please?”

“Oh, sorry,” Rarity sheepishly pulled back.

“Now, how much do you actually know about the nobility?”

“Why I follow all the latest fashions, I know the trendsetters, I am very knowledgeable of high culture.”

“No, not about fashion or high culture, how much do you know about noble houses. And not from those romance books of yours, they are ... not particularly helpful” Twilight had read some of the books Rarity preferred, and frankly his mother's weird fetish porn had a higher correspondence to reality than them, and half the things that happened in those weren't even biologically possible.

“Um...”

“Because, Rarity, I am not a character from one of your novels, so please don't treat me like one.”

“What? I would never.”

Applejack coughed into her forehoof.

“My reluctance to talk about my family is not due to some misguided desire to be 'normal'. I have some ... let's call them 'differences of opinion' with my family and I do not wish to get you girls mixed up in them.”

“Oh, Twili, you shouldn't let some minor differences get between you and your family. I know that, I love my ma and my pa and my sisters, even if they are a bajillion miles away.”

Applejack nodded, “Yer family is yer family.”

“It's a little more serious than that, House Twilight can be rather disagreeable and I don't want to subject you to that.”

“Um, girls ...” Fluttershy said softly.

“Then I guess we will have to impress them. I-DE-A, I will make each of us a beautiful outfit, each one sure to stun even the most cantankerous noble.”

Twilight winced, imagining what the Twilights would think of his friends if they showed up to the manor in ballgowns. “No Rarity, that's a horrible idea. Anyways, I'm leaving tomorrow, you wouldn't have enough time to do that.”

“Oh, a shame, I guess we must get by with last year's style, you girls still have your dresses from the Grand Galloping Gala?”

Twilight growled, “No, Rarity you aren't understanding me, House Twilight is a house of mages, scholars and warriors, we don't wear dresses unless we need to,” and sometimes not even then “especially not in Twilight Manor. If you show up looking like you're going to a ball, the Twilights will view you as ignorant ladder-climbers. The only mare who wears a dress in Twilight Manor is my bitch of an aunt, and everypony who lives in the manor loathes her because she is an ignorant ladder-climber. Not that any of you will be showing up, I refuse to get you involved in the pit of vipers that is Twilight intra-house politics.”

“Girls, I think we should listen to him.” Fluttershy said softly.

Rarity pouted, “Okay, fine, no dresses. But surely you are exaggerating, I'm certain we will get along fine, I am an excellent conversationalist. I bet we'll all be laughing about your paranoia in the future.”

“You're not listening to me.” Twilight snarled, “Okay, fine, if you want to come, you can come. We're leaving at 10:30 tomorrow morning, on the dot. Be here – at the castle – or don't; I don't care, just don't blame me when you find yourself humiliated and traumatized.” Twilight stormed off.

“Hmph, well somepony's being melodramatic.”

“Ah, don't know, he was actin' pretty darn worked up. Ah don't think she gets along well with his family.”

“It could be dangerous.” Fluttershy spoke up.

“What? Fluttershy, this is Twilight's family we're talking about and they're nobility not some kind of criminal gang.”

“Yes, they're nobility, nobles can be dangerous.” and there's not nearly as much of a distinction between those two as most ponies think.

Applejack looked at the yellow mare in confusion, “Sure them nobles are snooty and fancy and rude, but 'dangerous'? Ah, don't think tha princesses would let them be 'dangerous'.”

“Well, I would never turn down an opportunity to schmooze with the nobility, you girls coming with me.”

“Ah, guess. Ah don't much care for snooty nobles, but Ah do want teh meet Twilight's family. Even if they don't get along.”

“I would never turn down meeting new ponies, even if they might be mean.”

Fluttershy sighed softly, “I guess.”

“Excellent, now excuse moi, I need to get ready~.”

---

Rainbow examined an incredibly exaggerated fertility idol, “I mean, Celestia does have some impressive flanks, but I don't think this is quite accurate.”

“I wouldn't touch that if I were you,” Theory drawled, “Unless you feel the need to be impregnated with a miniature sun.”

“What?! Why would anyone make something that does that?!” Rainbow jumped away from the idol and stared at it in horror.

“Dunno, maybe it was some sort of strange equine sacrifice, maybe a practical joke, maybe it was simply a mistake. Either way, we almost lost a couple good mares before we figured out how to abort the damnable things.”

“Uh, huh...” Rainbow looked around, “You have a bunch of Daring Do level objects don't you?”

“Daring who?”

“An awesome archaeologist, she recovers powerful magical artifacts from evil cultists trying to destroy the world.”

Theory pauses for a second, “Sorry, I forswore all fiction when I dedicated myself to a dark god.”

In an instant Rainbow changed, she drew Iridescence and pressed her tip against the unicorn. “SPEAK, CULTIST, WHO IS THY DARK MASTER? IS IT BOOKTHCTH BOOK LORD OF BOOKS?” Rainbow's voice reverberated around the workshop.

Theory looked at the smaller mare in terror, “It was a joke! I don't have a 'dark master'! I've never even heard of this bookit thing!”

“Bookthcth,” Rainbow corrected reflexively before blushing in embarrassment. “My apologies for threatening you, but it really is in bad taste to joke about such things. The Elder Gods are no friend to ponykind and have caused incalculable amounts of strife.” Rainbow pauses, “Also, Daring Do is actually a real pony.”

“Sure, no more jokes about these 'Elder Gods', whatever they are.” Theory paused, “I can already tell you're going to get on with the Twilights like a house on fire.” And probably kill more ponies.

“Really, that's really good, I had worried that Twilight's family wouldn't like me, after all it is incredibly unusual for a pegasus to marry into a unicorn house. Magical knowledge doesn't exactly transfer well from one tribe to another.”

“Yeah, I doubt you will have any serious problems, especially if you carry that sword with you.”

“'Especially if I carry Iridescence with me'? What's that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing important, but you do cut a pretty intimidating figure with the sword on your back longer than you are.”

Rainbow smirked, and strutted in a circle. “I do, don't I.”

Theory shuddered, “That you do, that you do. Now about the sword, how can you even draw the thing? That shouldn't even be geometrically possible.”

“Oh, that's easy, watch.” Rainbow twisted the sword and it's end phased right through the end of it's sheath.

“Ah, yes, of course. The sword just goes through the sheath, why didn't I think of that. After all why wouldn't a sword just move right through the object designed to hold it.” Seriously, what is up with this mare? Who exactly are you Rainbow Dash?

Rainbow wandered off, examining the many artifacts, before noticing one in particular. “Oh, cool, you have a set of wingblades.”

Theory was shocked out of her thoughts, “Oh, yeah, those were the wingblades of the Lord Commander Sky Bourne of the Stalwart of Skyhaven, they were presented to the unicorn Fire Strike of the Stalwart of Twilight after she singlehoofedly saved his entourage from a griffon ambush. They've been with the Twilights ever since.”

“They presented wingblades to a unicorn?”

“Yeah, it's an old pegasus tradition to present their weapons to ponies who do a great service.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes and flared her wings, “Yeah, I know. But why would they present a unicorn with a weapon she couldn't even use.”

“The pegasus' of Skyhaven, didn't really use any weapons other than wingblades and featherblades, they valued their mobility too much to carry weapons in their hooves.”

“They valued mobility so they used wingblades? Even masters in the art still loose some top speed, acceleration and manoeuvrability, and novices can't even fly with the bloody things.”

“Sure, but these were built by the mage-smiths of the Stalwart of Starfall, they're enchanted so that they assist in flight rather than inhibit it.”

“Enchanted wingblades, who'd have ever thought...” Rainbow examined the wingblades, they were very well made and clearly built to last. Of course any orthodox practitioner of the art would view their existence as an abomination. Wingblades that assisted in flight went against the very philosophy behind the weapons; they were meant to be a burden on a pegasus' flight, one that could only be overcome with decades of hard training.

“Yeah, they're hardly the most flashy thing we have, but the Orders Stalwart couldn't really risk highly volatile enchantments at the time.”

Rainbow lifted the wingblades, “Wait, these aren't made of cloud-steel, they're just carbon steel.” She closely examined the complex systems of blades, “No, not base steel, these are made of starmetal.”

Theory tilted her head, very few ponies could even distinguish starmetal from steel. “Most of the arms and armour made by Starfall is made from starmetal. Castle Starfall was build on top of a large meteorite. It's not as light as that alloy you pegasi make somehow, but it is far more magically conductive”

“What do you mean 'somehow'? Cloud-steel is an iron, cloud, carbon alloy; it's hardly a secret.”

“Nopony believes your lies pegasus, clouds are made of air and water, you can't make alloys out of air and water!”

“Sure, you can't alloy 'air and water' but you can alloy clouds.”

“How?!”

“You do realize that trees are made of air and water, and charcoal is used to turn iron to steel. The process of making clouds is similar in some ways.”

“So, what, you pegasi photosynthesize?” Theory scoffed.

“No, it's more along the lines of alchemical transmutation. But the result is similar, clouds are no more just 'air and water' than wood is.”

“Yes, of course, and just like wood, clouds have a habit of turning back into air and water.” Theory said sarcastically.

“If the transformation is only partially completed, the clouds are unstable, and the transformation will revert when catalyzed. When fully transformed, clouds don't just turn back, after all the last thing you want is your house to start raining on you, or even worse, your floor to give out under you and your valuables.”

“Does that happen much?”

“Not often, but every so often you hear a story of some idiot who built a house out of weather grade clouds or of a botched batch of building clouds making it past QA, there have even been a couple pegasi who died when their house dissolved in their sleep.”

“Don't you regularly sleep on 'weather grade' clouds?”

“I'd be a poor weather pegasus if I couldn't prevent the cloud I'm on from dissolving, even while sleeping.”

“Uh huh.”

“So ...” Rainbow hefted the wingblades, “How d'you adjust them to fit, they seem to be uncharacteristically lacking in the typical adjustable straps.”

“Oh, that's easy. They're enchanted to fit anypony who puts them on.”

“Cool.”

Theory watched in muted horror as the already armed mare proceeded to fit strap the weapons to her wings. Of course she was going to put them on, clearly the oversized sword wasn't enough for her.

*Shwing* Rainbow unfolded her left wing, a lethally sharp blade of starmetal extending from her wingtip. “Ahh, I love that sound.” *Shwing* she extended her right wing.

Theory jumped back from the bladed appendage, “Oi, be careful where you're swinging those things, you could kill a pony with them.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes, “Of course I could kill a pony with them, that's kind of the entire point.” she said cheerfully before folding her wings with a soft *shwing*, her wings betraying no sign of their deadly attachments.

Theory shuddered, she wasn't quite certain just who, or what, this 'Rainbow Dash' was. She had theories of course, but most of them were truly concerning and this whole situation was seriously pushing her 'not my problem' button (a necessary survival mechanism for anypony living in Twilight Manor). You know what, buck it. “Hey, Rainbow Dash, if you promise not to murder me, I'll show you where the matching set of feartherblades are.”

---

“Argh!” A loud, somewhat muffled, cry echoed through the halls of the castle.

“Twilight, is that you?” Rainbow galloped towards the voice.

“Ragh!”

Rainbow came to the closed door of Twilight's bedroom. “Twilight?” She tested the door to find it locked.

“Urgh!”

Something was hurting her stallion. She spun in place and bucked as hard as the could – the door, liberated from it's frame hit the far wall with a loud *smash* - and smoothly whirled around into a bipedal stance, drawing Iridescence, spreading her wings and bearing her wingblades in preparation to destroy whatever was causing her stallion pain.

...

Only to find Twilight screaming into a pillow.

Twilight was interrupted from his frustrations by the loud noise. He turned around to see what he could only describe as a classical warrior goddess. Standing in the middle of his empty and severely damaged door-frame, wielding an enormous sword, wings extended and bristling with steel (are those wingblades?), her cerulean feathers ruffling and her rainbow mane blowing in a wind only she could feel, and ready to smite her enemies. Simultaneously beautiful and terrifying

...

Wait, rainbow mane and cerulean feathers? “Rainbow Dash?”

Rainbow blushed incandescently, sheathed Iridescence, closed her wings, dropped onto four hooves and looked down at the floor, “I'm sorry, Twilight, I thought you were being attacked, and well ...” Rainbow spoke apologetically.

“... you smashed your way into here to protect me.” The stallion purred darkly, there was something about his beautiful, powerful, wilful mare acting so submissively that got him excited. “Luckily there was no assassin who stole into my bedroom tonight, I have merely had an incredibly frustrating day.”

“Oh, do you want to talk about it?”

Twilight chuckled as he trotted up to the mare, “No, not talk.” He said before closing his jaws around the neck of the smaller mare.

Rainbow squeaked and submissively followed as the stallion guided her to his bed, Iridescence dropped forgotten to the ground in her sheath.

Here's chapter 17, sorry for the delay. I haven't had much time for writing in the past while.

Quite a bit happens in this one, and Chekhov's gun has finally been taken off of it's pedestal, I think it should be relatively obvious what's going on with Rainbow now.