Richard always loved this mountain. It’s glorious slopes, it’s snowy peak, and its wonderful habit to eat people. However, he was a little too busy running away from a particular red imp to pay attention.

        “YOURDOOMISATHAND!” screeched the little red imp, waving a small gold medallion energetically.

        “I don’t think it is. You see, my hand is quite empty,” replied Richard calmly as he sprinted away from Hctib Elttil, the red imp he was running from.

        “YOURSUFFERINGSHALLBENEVERENDING!”  the imp roared in anger.

        “That doesn’t sound very fun,” admitted the undead warlock.

        “Killing innocents, yes, but eternal suffering? Maybe making people suffer...”

        “VENGEANCESHALLBEMINE!” shrieked Hctib.

        “That sounds fun. But I think I’ll pass,” replied Richard stoically. Upon spotting a familiar duo up ahead, he called,” Soomba! Kelly! Your assistance in this matter would be greatly appreciated.” A black panther perked up at the sound  of his name and prepared to pounce on the freakishly annoying imp. However, before he could strike,  his view was obstructed by the hooded figure of Kelly, a big-boned giant of a man, who also happened to be the practiced town healer. Kelly was already charging at the imp, ready to pile drive the creature into oblivion.

“Ha! How do you like that!” Kelly said triumphantly as he fell onto the Imp.

“IWILLKILLYOUWHENIGETBACKUP!” exclaimed the imp, trying to speak from underneath Kelly’s massive body.

"Thanks for taking so long. I almost tripped you know,"Richard said, walking up to Kelly’s inert form, glancing at Soomba’s sulking form. He knelt down next to the panther, saying,” Don’t worry, you’ll catch something before Kelly squashes it eventually.” Soomba perked up, while Kelly frowned.

“I’m not that fat, you know,” stated Kelly glumly as he stood up and planted a foot on the imp’s face.

        “And Soomba isn’t my favorite pet,” retorted Richard, turning his gaze to the monolith next to him.

        “Now,” he continued,” who’s a good, man-eating mountain?” He strode up to the

mountain face and proceeded to give it a hug. The mountain responded by opening a massive hole where Richard was standing, sucking him into the dark abyss below. Kelly and Soomba sat in stunned silence, before Kelly spoke.

“The hell just happened?” Kelly said in bewilderment. His eyes widened as he took in the full gravity of the situation.

“Quick, Soomba, after him!” yelled Kelly as he charged toward the massive hole where Richard had been standing moments before. Soomba raced Kelly to the hole, leaping into it at the first opportune moment. Kelly, racing after Soomba, jumped in after, leaving a barely conscious imp lying in the dust.

        “Thefatmansatonme...” muttered Hctib weakly.

        It was a marvelous day in Equestria for Prince BlueBlood. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and he was singing along in his nice, warm shower. That was until are group of misfits crashed onto his bathroom floor with a cacophony of thuds and grunts. Prince BlueBlood stuck his head out the shower curtain and shrieked like a little filly. Three beasts lay on his bathroom floor, coated in dust! The one on the bottom of the dog-pile appeared to be an ugly, vile creature in a black robe. On top of it was a large, ugly, vile creature with a ragged cloak, and on the very top...was a large black cat.

        BlueBlood gasped for breath. Screaming at such a pitch really takes alot out of a pony. He then charged out of the tub, in all his glory, and charged out out of the shower And raced for the door.

He stopped, opened the door slowly, then bolted outside, shrieking,” GUARDS! GUARDS! A BUNCH OF MONSTERS INTERRUPTED MY SHOWER! HELP!”

        Richard groaned under Kelly,” Remind me to never hug a mountain again.”

        “Remind me not to fall on you again,” retorted Kelly. “You’re not as soft as you look, you know.” Soomba just purred contentedly. He had had a very soft landing.

        Kelly rolled off of Richard, despite Soomba’s displeasure, and stood up. He observed his surroundings, and stated,” It appears we are in a bathroom.”

        Richard got up and dusted himself off.

        “That would explain the...” Richard stopped, then looked at Kelly.

        “Was that a talking pony?” he asked.

        There was silence for a few seconds.

        “...FOR PONY!” Richard shouted, charging out of the bathroom into the hallway beyond, Soomba and Kelly right behind.

        And stumbled into a whole battalion of ponies. Richard’s eyes lit up. Ponies! So many ponies! So many...spears. He looked down, and sure enough, a spear was embedded in his chest. He must have run onto it. He looked back to the pony responsible for the damage, and said,” Now, I’m no physician, but there appears to be a spear in my chest.”

        His yellow eyes narrowed.

        “I hate spears,” he said icily, taking the armored pony’s face in his hands.

        The pony’s head erupted into flames, vaporizing its face and skull. Richard admired his headless horse, then pulled the spear out of chest. As is fell to the floor, he turned his attention to the rest of the spear-wielding ponies.

“OK, who’s next?”

        The guards stood in stunned silence before the creature that had just incinerated their commanding officer. With his hands. They looked at each other and nodded. This homicidal maniac had to be taken down. So, they did the only truly logical thing: they stabbed their spears into Richards chest. Kelly and Soomba stood behind Richard, wondering when the guards would give up. Or die. Richard never did well with the authorities.

        Green blood flowed from Richard’s wounds, and adding insult to injury, he had started laughing. He laughed as orbs of fire erupted in his hands. He laughed as he brutally murdered the guardsponies closest to him. He laughed as the remainder of the guard scrambled away. He laughed as Soomba chewed on a scorched bone. He stopped laughing when Kelly poked him.

        “Was that really necessary?” inquired Kelly. Richard looked thoughtfully at Kelly before answering.

        “...Yes.” Richard stated before making for the door he assumed would lead outside. His hand wrapped around the doorknob, but he paused. He turned back to Kelly and Soomba, who were making their way through the maze of bodies to get to Richard.

        “Kelly, how did the ponies open the door?”

        “...Richard, that’s what you care about right now? You just slaughtered twenty guards-”

        “Seventeen. It was a bad day for me,” interrupted Richard.

        “Regardless,” Kelly continued,” you most likely just made enemies with a whole lot of ponies.” Kelly stopped. Then he and Richard burst into laughter.

        “I can’t be an enemy of ponies,” Richard said, laughing.

        “I love ponies.” He paused.

        “I love killing more, though...” he said thoughtfully.

        “Anyway, let’s go. I feel the need to kill more things before the day is out.” Kelly just shook his head as Richard opened the door.

        “This is gonna be interesting,” Kelly muttered as Richard took a step out of the threshold, Soomba and Kelly trailing behind.