"Have you ever thought about it?"

"Thought about it?" you replied.

"About, you know, being a guy. Forever," Snips whispered, rubbing her muzzle against yours. Your smile was wide, but confused.

"I don't know if I could afford it, Snippy," you had murmured back. "Surgery's a bitch and even these weekly trips are bleeding my wallet dry."

"I think," Snips responded, wrapping a foreleg around one of yours, "I think I know who I am. And I think it's more important to me than money or security or even... humanity."

The look on her face warped into a frown. "Stargaze, is meeting up like this, once a week in a public bowling alley; is this enough for you? Are you happy?"

You gave her lips a lick, and pushed your nose into hers. "I can't say I'm crazy about not having any time alone with you."

The smile that Snips responded with glowed so brightly in your memory. "Would you mind, though?"

Would I mind? Would I mind, forever? Would I?

The memory of last week's drug trip played in your head just as it had every morning for the past five days. The familiar landmarks on your daily walk to the bowling alley were not interesting enough to occupy your mind. Neither were the passing jeers of your boss at the gas station as your shift ended and he reminded you for the five thousandth time that you had breasts.

Those darn breasts. People seemed to reaaaally like breasts, but yours kind of just got in the way of things. For instance, last week's hideously embarrassing escapade. Horny ex-stallion making his way to a mare's apartment, ready for the ride of his life, only to end in embarrassed whispers and anxious pokings, a tit awkwardly shoved into an eye socket, a penis flopping lifelessly underneath a shameful carpet of sheer... wrongness.

No, if you were going to have sex with Snips, you were going to have to do it right.

"You've been here a lot lately," the girl at the counter says, smirking a bit.

"Uh, yeah?" you respond, handing over the money. "Is that a problem?"

She chuckles, counts the bills, and hands you the familiar red and black speckled pill. "Not really, I mean, business is business."

You give her a half-hearted smile back, and start to walk down the hallway. This pill, plus four others (backups!) that you had sneaked out over the last week, was going to ensure an interesting evening.

"It's just," the girl continues suddenly, "When you work in this line of business, you see a lot of... people. You know. People who don't always make the best decisions. People who play with fire."

"Mmm," you grunt in response.

"And, you know? It's just kind of weird." The girl at the counter suddenly leans over, grabs your arm, and pulls you close. "You used to come here with a guy. Is he okay?"

You frown, and shake her off of your arm. "She's fi--I mean, he's fine. Calm down."

She stares at you and puts her hands down. "Sorry," she mumbles. "I just... nevermind. Have a nice trip."

You start to walk down the hall again, and then glance back at the woman. She had sat back down and begun to count pills on the counter. It was far away, but you could swear you saw a tear begin to form in the corner of one eye. The people who worked here got weirder every time you visited.

Not that it was even any of her business what had happened to Snips.

You turn back around and find yourself face-to-face with Melanie.

"You've been here a lot lately," she says, staring into your eyes. Not again.

"Yeah, okay, that's great," you mumble, swerving around her and continuing down the hall. Couldn't anyone mind their own business?

"And yet," she continues, talking down the hall at your escaping back, "I feel like I haven't seen you at all. Where's that nice blue pony that used to play with me every time he came here?"

"I'm right here, aren't I?" you grunt. You glance down at your watch--it's a quarter to five. You're going to be late.

Melanie sighs and walks down the hall to you, wrapping her arms around your neck. "I worry about that poor pony. I feel like he's slipping through my protective fingers."

You stare at the wall, not turning around to look at her. "Can you get your arms off of me?" you ask derisively. "That kind of thing is only okay when I have fur."

She removes her arms, but then grips you and turns you around. Startled, you open your mouth, but find no words to describe the look of angst on Melanie's face.

"Don't you?"

"Melanie, you're scaring me," you respond.

"And you don't think you're scaring me, Stargaze?" she barks.

You freeze. No. "W-what did you call me?" you stammer. How could she know?

"I hear everything, sweetie," she whispers. "I know that you've been a bad pony, mister. I can see it in your eyes, too. You've gone too far."

Your mouth hangs open. Sounds slide out, slippery, horsey sounds, but instead of falling together into a word or sentence, they flop onto the ground and well up around Melanie's ankles. She wraps her hand around yours.

"Give me the pill," she whispers into your ear. Her other hand floats up to your head, and Melanie slowly starts to drag her fingers through your hair. Your eyes roll back into your head, and your unwillingly relinquish your sweaty grip on the pill in your hand.

Melanie smiles. "Good boy," she whispers, still stroking your hair. Her hand slides through yours, grasping the pill with two fingers. She dangles it in front of your face, presses it to your lips, and pushes it in.

"Swallow," she orders, taking her hand and rubbing it on your neck. The urge to wag your tail consumes you, and you obey with a gulp of spittle. She smiles again, withdraws her hand from your head, and turns you around.

"Now get in the changing room, mister Stargaze. I will meet you on the other side. Isn't everything better when people just follow the rules?" With a wink, Melanie slides out of the hall.

You turn your head to watch her retreat, and then shake your head. You spit the pill, safely contained between your lips and your clenched teeth, into your palm, and place it into the plastic baggie you brought along. "Fuckin' Melanie," you murmur, before making your way to the staff exit.

The bright sunlight outside the bowling alley shocks your poor pupils, as it always did after a stint in the poorly lit back-hallways of the bowling alley, but you press on and make a beeline to the south side of town. The gray apartment block, with its familiar dog-eared windows, beckons to you. You know that just inside that building is a girl who loves you.

And you know what? You love her too. After all the confusion with gender and species and friendships and just about everything going on in your life, it was hard for you to admit that you loved Snips. But it was not an unwelcome thought, not at all, not even when bathed in the painful memories of last week's encounter. You want to kiss that girl--that, that /mare/--and you want it to be right. You want it to be as right as a plate of spaghetti in the evening.

That was officially the dumbest simile you have ever come up with. But the pills worked. The pills smile to you from your pocket. It's not always easy or possible to know what one wants, but you know, right now, you know. Finding yourself in front of Snips's third-floor apartment, you insert the key she gave you, turn it, and then turn the doorknob.

You were as high as a kite, or well, you might have been. The sight before you certainly burns a hole in your potential high.

"Snips?" you yell, running into the bedroom. Empty. "Snips? Are-are you there?"

No answer. You run into the bathroom--nothing. You check the closets--nothing. Under the rug? That's silly, but yeah, nothing.

The entire apartment is empty.

"Snips?" you yell.

"Lady, please, can you keep it down?" responds a voice from behind you. You swivel around and find yourself face to face with a police officer. Your eyes grow to the size of dinner plates.

"Uh, hello officer," you mutter. "I'm sorry for making a disturbance."

"Nah, it's fine," the man responds casually. He walks awkwardly over to the kitchen table and drops a yellow piece of paper there. "Are you looking for the person who lives here?"

"Uh, yeah, I am," you reply. "Is something wrong?"

"Mmm, yeah," he says, heading out the door. "Arrested for drug possession or something. Hell if I know. Landlord is pretty pissed about it, though, and now I've gotta keep checking everyone's apartments to make sure she doesn't get embarrassed by a drug bust again."

Your eyes get even bigger, and your mouth shrinks down to the size of a paper clip.

"Drug bust?" you whisper.

"Yeah, fuckin' addicts. They're coming out of the woodwork," he jokes. "Hey, you weren't trying to sell him some drugs, were you, eh?"

He laughs and elbows you, and you half-heartedly laugh with him as you walk out of the apartment.

"You be good now, ya hear?" he chuckles, walking away. You nod, and then sit with your back against Snips's closed door.

She's gone. They took her away.

A single tear rolls down your left cheek.