(I'M BACK! WOO! *Fires the party cannons!* Alright, so normally I wouldn't post something right into the story, but I need to address something here before the story starts. I have never been really comfortable writing sexual scenes, I'm happy to hint and tease and what have you, and there still won't be any explicit sex scenes in the story. HOWEVER Spoilers****** Ruby has some serious sexual issues in her past (go read Alamut's Fallen Star)Spoilers******* so this story is going to contain some much more sexualized content than my stories in the past have, still only on par with the tamer, maybe mid level, sexual stuff in Fo:E and PH, but I still feel a need to just give everyone a heads up about it. ALSO, this story is being told Tarantino style, so it bounces between Cane first arriving back in Equestria (one year ago) and the events that take place in that time, and the present, which is his wedding and the events that go on from there (I hope that makes sense :D) if it doesn't make sense, just read this chapter and it should hopefully make sense.)

Fallout Equestria: War Never Changes: Ghosts of the Past

"Mares and Gentle-colts, we are gathered here today in the warmth of Celestia's sunlight..." The priest began, of course we didn't have sunlight, we had a solar lamp on the roof that shone down on the front of the room. I stole a subtle glance to my side, smiling at the sight of the mare beside me. Dear sweet Ruby, wearing a wedding dress that had been Crackshot's 200 years ago, modified to accommodate her rather substantial foal carrying belly, she was 11 months and 12 days pregnant and about ready to burst. She smiled softly and I knew she could see me looking at her. It was amazing to think how far we'd come so far this last year...seems like it was just this morning that I came back from the American Wasteland with Lily and Venture...I chanced a glance in the other direction, seeing Brutus, Xem and Venture standing to the side, dressed in tuxedos, Venture looking totally comfortable and relaxed in it, Brutus looking like he was going to crawl out of his skin, and Xem managing a totally neutral look, while still somehow managing to come off somewhat uncomfortable..

~~~~~~~~~~~~
11 months, 16 days ago:
I cried out in agony as I was ripped from the final memory orb of Ruby's time in the Enclave, I grabbed the bucket with my magic and threw up violently, retching and coughing, the acid from my stomach burned my throat and I just wanted to die, the very real pain my body found itself enduring, mixed with the remembered pain in Ruby's body made me hate myself all over. I felt like I just wanted to curl up into a ball and never move again. Sadness, pain, misery, every negative emotion vied for control of my mind and they were at a stalemate. I was sore in places that didn't even exist on a male body.

"Daddy!" CB yelled, rushing to my side, grabbing the bucket in her magic.

"CB no!" Brutus tried to call her off but she was already beside me. I wrapped my forelegs around her and hugged her tightly, bawling on her shoulder. I know what you're thinking, and yes, she was terrified and confused.

"Daddy...what's wrong? What happened? Why are you so sick?" She hugged me back, taking on that far more grown up than she needed to be tone.

Lily sat on the floor beside Brutus but when I grabbed onto CB she got up and ran to the couch quickly.

“Come on now, let the filly go...” She said softly, wedging her horn between my leg and CB's neck and prying me off from her. She slid into CB's spot and I gripped her just as tightly as I had the other.

She pushed me back on the couch and got up beside me, holding me close. She wrapped the two of us in a green field of energy and immediately I felt this great rush of energy. Warmth and love and happiness cascaded through me and I immediately started to feel better.

“What are you doing?” I asked softly, looking up at her, my eyes bloodshot and wet with tears.

“What, you think we only steal love and happiness to feed off of?” She smirked, hugging me closer. “How do you think a Changeling foal feeds before they know how to use the magic?”

“Oh I guess that makes sense.” I nodded, sitting up slowly, feeling the sadness and pain washing away. I sat quietly for a moment then looked at her. “D...Does that mean I'm nursing on you?” I asked softly. She just blushed softly and didn't respond, which made Brutus laugh. The kids seemed lost to the statement, which was for the best.

“What the hay is going on?!” CB demanded finally, tired of her questions being ignored.

"Sorry Cane, I was trying to keep everypony out but you know her and her little colt friend."

"HE'S NOT MY COLT FRIEND!" CB yelled, blushing furiously.

"I'M NOT HER COLT FRIEND!" Xem echoed almost simultaneously, and blushing just as badly.

"But you're a colt...?" Brutus asked and Xem nodded slowly," and you two are friends?" Again he nodded, "well that makes you her..."

"C...Colt friend..." Xem admitted in defeat, shaking his head.

I floated a bottle of water out of my pack and washed my mouth out. I hadn't been that violently ill since the raider incident back at the grocery store...that was forever ago now.

"So how are you doing?" Brutus asked, sitting on the floor in front of the couch as I relaxed finally. I looked over and realized Ruby was gone from the bed.

"I'll be fine..." I said, "but the things I saw...felt...had to do..." I shuddered and retched again but kept it all down.

"What are they?" CB asked, poking the memory orbs with a hoof, too afraid to touch them with her magic, lest she set it off by accident, and after seeing what it did to me it's no surprise she was hesitant.

"Memories, terrible memories, memories that nopony should ever have."

"Who's memories are they?"

"Mine." Venture said quickly, coming into the room. He gave me a knowing look and smiled softly. "You got a chunk on your cheek."

"Uncle Venture? Why do they have your memories?" CB asked.

"Really? I'm out for 12 hours and you've already got her calling you Uncle Venture?"

"Her idea, not mine." He said and she nodded happily to me. "I expected her to hate me." He admitted, sitting down between
Brutus and CB. Brutus didn't look too thrilled but CB leaned against him happily.

"I already told you, you aren't the pony that tried to hurt us." She said.

"But I..."

"No buts!" She snapped, smacking his side. "The pony that tried to hurt us was a two hundred year old robo-meanie. You are clearly not a robot of any kind, mean or otherwise, and if I understand correctly you are only 7 years old." She said. "Which means I'm older than you, and you should always listen to your elders."

"CB..." I started but she glared at me.

"AND YOU..." She said firmly, "you are only like, a week old, you're just a new born foal, you don't get to say nothing about nothing, you just sit there and nurse like a good little foal.” She said, smirking.

“Yes ma'am.” I said simply, putting my head back down as a wave of nausea swept over me, just because I was feeling good again didn't mean my body appreciated what it had experienced in the orbs.

“Look, why don't you two go find something constructive to do?” Brutus said to the kids. “Let Cane recover a while longer before you bother him more alright?”

“I think that's a good idea.” Xem said before CB could argue.

“Yeah yeah...” She said, coming over and hugging me. “Don't worry Daddy, you'll get better.”

“I know I will squirt.” I said, returning the hug. She moved back, looking at me again for a moment before moving to follow Xem out of the room, closing the door behind them.

“She's quite the spitfire.” Venture said once the door was closed.

“You're telling me.” I smirked. “You haven't even seen her go into Overdrive.”

“Oh yeah...I remember Xekron telling me about that...she mopped the floor with him.”

“It was an amazing spectacle.” I nodded.

“Alright, we need to talk seriously.” Brutus said, looking at the rest of us.

“I have to talk to Ruby, I know.” I said.

“No...I mean about...Him...” He said, pointing at Venture.

“I understand if you still want to incarcerate or even execute me.” Venture said seriously. “I did terrible things in the name of my own greed and I will expect no quarter simply because I say I have changed.”

“Brutus,” I started to say, but the orange unicorn waved me off.

“I will give you exactly one chance,” he said, “not for your own sake, not even because you are Cane's brother and he desperately wants you back, I'm going to do this because CB is so adamant about you. She is stubborn as a mule and I'm not going to pull the trigger unless I can present to her your wrong doing, but don't for a moment think that means you can fuck around in ways she doesn't see and I'll let it slide. I'll deal with her wrath, in time she'll forgive me.”

“O...Of course, I understand completely.” Venture nodded. “I'll do everything I can to earn your trust.”

“You can start by unlocking the computer archives,” he said, “you can show us how to unlock all the ultra secure rooms, and you can give us access to your private offices.”

“Absolutely. I'll take you and whomever else you wish right now and do that,” Venture replied, “are you going to come little brother?” He asked, looking over at us on the couch.

“I can't even give you crap for that anymore, you are the older brother.” I sighed, but I shook my head and snuggled back against Lily. “I'm good here for the time being. I need to check up on Ruby in a bit.”

“Don't go getting fresh with my mare.” Brutus said seriously.

“You're gay, and Lily doesn't technically have a gender, shouldn't you say 'don't get fresh with my buck'?” I asked him, smirking a little.

“Yeah, who are you to assign gender labels?” Lily asked, taking on an offended tone. “Ass butt.” She added, looking away indignantly.

“Wow, you really put your hoof in your mouth there.” Venture said, patting Brutus's back. Brutus glared at him and growled softly. “Alright...sorry, just trying to lighten the mood. Come on, lets get those offices unlocked.” Venture started for the door. Brutus glared at us but followed him out of the room.

“Wow, that's impressive.” I said, looking over at Lily. “I can FEEL your teasing humor through this energy field.

“Oh yeah, we're connected on a completely emotional level, full spectrum, not just love.” She said. The field fluctuated ever so slightly and I felt a wave of different emotions, first love, then happiness, then sadness and depression, then anger and bitterness, jealousy and lust, even an almost hysterical giddiness and what could only be described as bottom of the pit suicidal misery. “Not all of them are pleasant of course.” She added, returning quickly to the love and happiness.

“So can't we use your powers to make Ruby feel better?”

Lily shook her head sadly. “Ruby's problems aren't just mental. You are scarred in your mind from the things you saw in those orbs, believe me when I saw them I was the same way...”

“So you're the other one Brutus said saw them?” I interrupted.

“Yes.” She nodded. “Ruby's problems are physical, she has real scars, real emotional issues that result in physical reactions, from shaking to dry mouth to throwing up...her fears are a lot worse than we realized, because as far as we can tell she's been using Med-X for almost a year.”

“What? A YEAR? How could I have not noticed?” I said, groaning and shaking my head, trying to reflect on all our time together, literally hundreds of nights spent in each others company, and dozens upon dozens of nights that we made love, not once did I ever notice anything really wrong with her.

“I...I need to see her.” I said, getting up off the couch, shaking off the last of my misery and nausea.

“Alright, Mom took her to another room when everypony and their dog kept coming to 'check up' on you.”

“Lead the way.” I smiled, bowing to Lily.

“You are too kind sir.” She chuckled, getting up and walking out of the room.

She kept me wrapped tightly in the field of happiness until we reached the room. Lily knocked softly on the door. “Come in.” Ruby croaked softly.

“D...Do you want me to come in with you?” Lily asked.

“No, I need to do this on my own.” I said, opening the door slowly.

Ruby lay sprawled out on the bed, a pillow over her face even though the room was dark.

I walked over to the bed and sat on the side of it.

“Hi Ruby...” I said softly, putting a hoof on her foreleg.

“NO!” She yelled from under the pillow, pulling away from me quickly. “YOU AREN'T REAL! GO AWAY!”

The light clicked on, I looked back at the door and saw Lily standing there quietly, she gestured towards the bed with a wave of her head and I nodded, reaching out again slowly. “Ruby please...”

“NO!” She yanked away from me, rolling right out of the bed, she landed hard on the ground, but before I had a chance to help her I realized she had rolled intentionally, coming up with a revolver and firing before I had a chance to even react.

Amazingly though Lily did react, racing the distance in a single leap, putting herself between us, the bullet digging into her shoulder as she crashed down against the headboard. “Fuck...”

“LILY!” Ruby cried, the revolver clattering to the ground, “why did you...”

“BECAUSE THAT'S CANE!” Lily roared angrily.

“No! Sugar's dead, he died when you guys went through the portal.” Ruby said sadly.

“Well as you can see, I'm back from the other dimension, so doesn't it stand to reason that Cane is back too?”

“I buried him!” She snapped. “Out in the graveyard with all the other heroes!”

“Ruby I...” I started to say, coming up behind her.

“NO! YOU DON'T GET TO SPEAK HALLUCINATION!”

“RUBY!” I spun her in place and hugged her fiercely. She tensed and tried to pull away, but I wrapped her close to me and held her in place.

Slowly she returned the hug, but pulled her head back, blinking heavily. “S-Sugar?” She asked softly, tears already starting to fall from her eyes. I just nodded slowly and she broke down completely, pressing her face into my chest and just bawling. I held her close, pressing my head to the side of hers, my own tears falling to her shoulder as I lost my restraint as well.

“Yeah...don't mind me...” Lily grunted, pushing herself off the bed slowly. “I'll find someone to remove the bullet.” She said, starting slowly for the door, closing it behind her.

“Cane...But how? I saw you...in that pit...it was so horrible...” She said, looking up at me slowly, trying, and failing, to stop the tears from continuing to fall.

“It's a long story, I'll explain later.” I said, nuzzling her happily, trying to keep myself from continuing to cry, and failing just as badly.

“Oh...I tried to shoot you!” She gasped, pulling back from me. “I SHOT LILY!” She turned but Lily was long gone.

“I'm sure she'll be fine. The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well has been through worse.”

She sank back into my hug and was quiet for a long time, finally she asked, “that was you last night wasn't it?”

“Yeah.”

“I broke a whiskey bottle on Firebird's armour and cut your neck didn't I?”

I tilted my head and showed her the scar on my neck from where the glass had cut in.

“And you know about my...problem?”

“You mean the Med-X?” I asked and she just nodded meekly. “I do, and I expect you to explain yourself about that, not just to me but to Brutus too. I have never seen him look so disappointed in my life.”

“I will...I owe you a lot of explanations and I'll give them all to you...” She said, “just...let me have this moment a little longer.” She pressed more firmly to my chest and we fell into silence again. “I missed your heartbeat.”

“Wow...That's really sappy.” I smirked, stroking her mane. “What happened to the pony that made fun of me for having a computer that talked like my old mare friend?”

“She became your NEW mare friend and realized maybe it wasn't so sappy.”

“Fair enough.” I nodded.

“I missed your horn.” She said, kissing it gently as she pulled out of my grasp finally. “It's so cute and it compliments your face nicely.”

“And you weren't looking forward to teaching me to live without magic?”

“That too,” she nodded, managing a smile, “so...I have some things to show you, things you won't like to see, but I think you need to see them.”

“Your time in the Enclave?” I asked.

“Y...Yeah, how did you know?”

“Brutus showed me already.” I admitted. “I was really upset with you after everything that happened last night and I forced Brutus to show me.”

“You didn't FORCE him to do anything,” she said flatly, “he's been telling me you need to see them since we first got together...”

“Don't blame him...” I started but she cut me off.

“...Oh Sugar...You endured all those orbs...” She said, stepping back from me slowly, as the realization seemed to suddenly set in.

I nodded.

“There are six of them...”

I nodded again.

“Even after the first one you went into the next, and then the next...”

I just kind of half smiled. “I stopped to throw up a couple times...”

She threw her forelegs around me and hugged me tightly again. “I love you...”

“I love you too.”

“I'm gonna kill Brutus...”

“I think that's fair.”

As if on cue there was a knock at the door and Brutus stuck his head in slowly.

“Speak of the devil...” Ruby said, “what do you want?”

“I wanted to make sure everything was okay. Lily had a bullet in her shoulder and said you put it there.”

“Oh, right, sorry...” Ruby blushed. “She's okay?”

“Yeah she popped a healing potion and the bullet came out, but I wanted to make sure you two were okay.”

“We're fine.”

“No, we're not fine,” Ruby said, “you showed him my memories.”

“You're damned right I did.” Brutus replied. “You were drunk, you were stoned on Med-X and you were so sure that the buck you love was a hallucination that you tried to kill him, and when he finally got you under control you wept like a scared foal and tried to have sex with him, what do you think was going through his mind?”

“It wasn't your place to show him!”

“Yes it was! He was scared for you! Scared OF you! He didn't know what to do, he was mad, he was scared, he was confused, all I could do was string him along!? That's not how I roll. You don't leave family out to dry and I wasn't going to have him sitting all night wondering what HE had done to you to make you this way when all the answers he needed were right there waiting.”

“Why would he think he had anything to do with it?!”

“HOW WOULD HE KNOW SOMETHING ELSE CAUSED YOUR TERROR?! HE'S THE FIRST BUCK YOU'VE HAD SEX WITH FOR TEN YEARS!”

“HE COULD ASK!”

I was glad to see Ruby get her fire back, but it worried me to see them fighting so intensely over me, I was too afraid, however, to get involved.

“YOU WERE PASSED OUT DRUNK IN BED! HE DID ASK! HE ASKED ME! AND I FUCKING SHOWED HIM!”

“YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD HIM TO WAIT!”

“NO! HE WAITED A YEAR AND YOU BARELY EVEN MENTIONED IT!”

“I'D HAVE TOLD HIM IN TIME!”

“YOU WEREN'T EVER GOING TO TELL HIM!”

“HOW DO YOU TELL THE BUCK YOU LOVE THAT EVERY SECOND SPENT WITH HIM YOU ARE TERRIFIED OF HIM?!” She choked out the last words and fell into pained sobs, this seemed to even shut Brutus up, all the rage in his face draining away in a second as it dawned on him.

“R...Ruby...you're scared of me?” I asked softly. She just sniffled and nodded.

“H-How c-c-could I n-not be?” She blubbered. “Y-You saw the o-orbs...”

“But, all that time we spent together...All the flirting, all the innuendo...”

“It's how I cope in day to day interactions with bucks. When our relationship got more serious I didn't know what to do.” She explained, forcing back the tears, getting her voice under control. “I loved you and I didn't want to disappoint you.”

“You could never disappoint me by being honest about something like that.”

She ignored me and continued on. “So I did what I had to do to make sure I could be there for you...physically I mean...I wanted to love you the way you loved me but the thought of being with a buck again scared me to my core...so I found a way to numb the fear and quite my anxiety.”

“Med-X...” Brutus said softly, “you started taking Med-X a year ago?”

“Only when Sugar and I were going to be intimate. It was either that or getting black out drunk...” Which had happened a few times. “When he died...I didn't know what to do. I wanted the pain to go away, the sadness and the heart break. Booze wasn't enough so I started to burn through the supply of Med-X I had stashed away for those nights of love making.”

“Why didn't you tell us?”

“That I was using drugs? Yeah I'm sure that would have gone well...” She said softly, unable to really muster up the sarcasm she'd intended.

“Ruby, we love you.” I said, putting a hoof on her shoulder. “I could never be mad at you for this, and I'm sure Brutus couldn't either...”

“The hell I couldn't.” Brutus said. “I was there for you when you got back from the Enclave, helped you in every way I could to get over the ordeal you went through in the Enclave, endured it myself to remove your memories, I helped you when you got hooked on drugs the first time, helped you beat Med-X, Hydra, Mintals, EVERYTHING, and now, things get a little tough again and you go right back to it...I couldn't be more ashamed of you if I tried.” He said sadly.

“But Brutus...” Ruby started, but he waved her off.

“No...just no...” He said, turning and leaving the room, closing the door a little too firmly behind him.

Ruby reached out towards the door, but slumped back in defeat. “He's right...I don't deserve his forgiveness...or yours Sugar...I'm sorry.” She turned to me and pressed back into my grip, crying again on my shoulder.

“I...well I still forgive you...I'm sure in time Brutus will too. He still loves you, he just needs a chance to sort himself out.” I said, stroking her mane gently.

She just sniffled and nodded, pressing close to me. “I'm glad you're okay.”

“Me too.”

“W-Will you help me?”

“With what?”

“M-Making sure I-I st-stay off th-the drugs?”

“Absolutely. I'll reprogram a Sprite bot to follow you around at all times if I have to.”

“And...can you...” She trailed off.

“Can I what?” I asked, lifting her head up to look at me.

“Can you...help me...get over my f-fear of...bucks..?”

“Of course I can.” I smiled, hugging her again. “You're doing pretty well so far.”

“I meant...physically...intimately...”

“OH. Of course I'll help you with that.” I chuckled. “Oh no, my fiancee wants to have sex with me, whatever shall I do?” I teased.

“Shut it you. I haven't had proper sex in a long time so you can expect the whole experience to be awkward and slow and probably not all that enjoyable.”

“Oh, so it'll be like my first time all over again...” I smirked.

She laughed softly, resting her head on my chest again. “What am I gonna do about Brutus?”

“Just give him some space for now, let him cool off, we'll work it out in time I'm sure. You have your whole family here, everyone will help you.”

“Yeah...and worse comes to worse I can get CB to harass him until he agrees to talk to me again.

“See? It's all in the planning.”

There was a knock at the door and I was about to respond, but wasn't sure Ruby would want more visitors.

She looked at me for a moment then shrugged. “Come in.” She called finally.

The door opened and Sky Wagon and Bottle Cap came in. “Hey you two, we heard the good news and wanted to come see how things were going, glad to see you're alive and well Cane.”

“Me too.” Ruby nodded, nuzzling into my shoulder.

“Well listen, we're heading back to town with the last medical convoy.”

“Oh yeah, how's the town doing?”

“We saved all the children, liberated 300 ponies from the Pyro army, we've had convoys heading to town to reunite families and taking the injured former soldiers to the hospital to get checked out.”

“Oh that's great. The Storms? Are they all okay?”

“Yeah, they left this morning back to town to get the kids checked out at the hospital.”

“Oh good.”

“Oh!” Wagon grinned. “We wanted to invite you to our wedding!”

“You two are getting married?!” Ruby giggled. “That's wonderful.”

“I know right?!” Wagon giggled madly.

“Can we not play it up like all that?”

“What? I'm a girl, I can be excited that I'm getting married! OH, speaking of excited...” She dug into her pack and came up with a black box. “Here, this is for you. To replace the one you gave up.”

“What?” Ruby asked, taking the box from her. “Oh!” She giggled. “Thank you so much sweetie, I never really thought I'd get this back.”

“Well it's a new one.” Cap said. “We really put yours through the wringer so we bought you a new one.”

“Wait what? What is it?” I asked curiously.

“You didn't even tell him?”

“Well no, I gave it away so it didn't matter. He doesn't need to worry about it.”

“No no, tell me!”

“Nah, it's fine, don't worry about it.”

“Aww, what's in the box?!”

“Oh for...It's a vibrator!” Cap said finally.

“What?!” I looked between the mares.

“Yeah, it was a gift from Lily, seems it's her standard go to awkward wedding gift.”

“And she gave you one too?” I asked Ruby, who nodded sheepishly.

“But I gave it to the girls remember? I had you...I didn't need some toy.”

“Whoa, did his head just inflate?” Sky asked, giggling softly.

“Nope.” Cap said, rolling her eyes.

“You are such a spoil sport!” Sky groaned.

“Sue me.”

“You need to unwind!” Sky said happily, clapping her hooves. “I have just the thing.”

“Don't you dare.” Cap said angrily as Sky dug through her saddlebags again. She came up with another box, the white one Ruby had given them.

“Look out Cap, here comes the penis monster!” Sky laughed, pulling the toy out. It was a perfect mold of a stallion, bigger than I could ever hope to be without surgery, it also had a bite grip at the bottom, clearly meant to be used by another.

“SKY DON'T! DON'T!” The unicorn yelped, pulled back as the giggling pegasus gave chase with the sex toy, which flopped side to side in her mouth. “NO! STOP!” She cried, running into the hallway, her fiancee in hot pursuit.

“Dafuq was that?” Ruby asked, staring in amazement at the now open door, Cap's cries for Sky to stop echoing back to them.

“I have no idea...especially since Bottle Cap should have been able to just throw up a shield to keep the pegasus out...”

“Well yeah, but that would have spoiled the fun.”

Xem appeared in the door way, looking back down the hall. “Did...Did I just see two mares running down the hall? And one of em had a great big dildo in her mouth?”

“Uhh, yes...” I laughed.

“Right, just making sure.” He said, looking back at his, his face clearly showing his mirth and confusion.

“Yeah mares are weird.”

“You're telling me.” Ruby said. “Don't worry kiddo, we're not all that weird.”

“Good...I don't know what I'd do if CB came after me like that...”

“Uhh, with a dildo?”

“Or whatever...”

“OR...Whatever...” I laughed, putting emphasis on the 'or.' “Aren't you a little young to know what a dildo is?”

“I'm 15, I grew up in the Wasteland...” He laughed. “I didn't always live in a cave with my grandfather. One of my friends when I was younger was a prostitute...” He shrugged. “She was amazing, the nicest Changeling I'd ever met. She taught me to be safe when it came to matters of sex.”

“You're yanking my horn.”

“I'm yanking your horn.” Xem smirked.

“You jerk!” Ruby sighed, “you really had me believing you! I would have asked Lily if she knew any Changeling prostitutes! I'd have looked so dumb.”

“Sorry,” he chuckled, “I'll try to keep my BS to a minimum.”

“Now why don't you get lost so my mare and I can talk?” I asked.

“Yes sir, sorry to have interrupted.” He saluted and grinned at us one last time before heading into the hall and closing the door.

“Wait...why does he know about dildos?”

“Awe sweetie...” I cooed, hugging her. “You're so cute and naive. He's a teenage boy, he's probably had access to porn his whole life, and he'll definitely have taken an interest in it in the last few years, all boys do, he's probably got porno mags stashed all over.”

“Do you?” She asked, looking at me curiously.

“Nope.”

“Are you lying?”

“Nope.”

“I don't believe you.”

“It's true...all my porn is digital.” I grinned. “Tucked away on hard drives with encryption, just like the ones we took from Ven, but without the world altering info on them.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah, days and days worth of videos and thousands of pictures, covering every weird perverse fetish you could imagine.”

“Dude, gross...” She made a face, then looked at the coy smirk on my face. “You're pulling my wing aren't you?”

“I might be...”

“You are!” She groaned. “You jerk!” She punched me in the foreleg. “What is up with everyone teasing me.”

“Trying to make you feel better?”

“Well...I guess that much is true.” She sighed, resting her head against my chest. “I'm gonna scour your hard drives for porn.”

“What part of ENCRYPTION didn't you catch?”

“I'll ask Brutus and Venture for help.”

“They won't help, it'd be a violation of the Bro Code.”

“The what?”

“Oops...sorry...first rule of the Bro Code is that you don't talk about the Bro Code.”

“You're an ass.”

“Only 15% on my father's side.”

“I love you...” She smiled

“I know.”

“So what now?”

“Well...I have a few ideas for addressing some of your issues.”

“Like?”

I reached out and plucked the box from beside her with my magic. I opened it and floated the toy out of the box, smirking a little, this one was clearly modeled on the same design as the other but it had a small control panel on the base that made it vibrate or spin slowly, or both.

“And what do you expect to do with that?” She asked, looking at me sternly.

“Well you're already comfortable using this?” I asked simply.

“Yes.” She said, nodding slowly, “your point?”

“Well maybe we acclimatize you slowly.” I replied, moving to the bed and patting the spot beside me, the toy still in my magical grip. I also reached out and locked the door. “You can start with it...work your way up to being comfortable enough to let me take over control of it for you...then get to the point where I can substitute for it.”

“You're expecting a lot aren't you? How do you know I'm just going to jump on this idea?”

“Heh, jump on it...”

“Shut up.”

“Like I said, we go at your pace, no one else's.”

“Alright...” She took the toy from my grip and tossed it to the floor. “For now I'm not doing it.” She nuzzled against me and sighed. “I just...lets work on me just being comfortable around you.”

“Fair enough.”

“I love you...”

“I love you too...”

///////////

Now:

“...In the warmth of Celestia's sunlight to join in the bonds of marriage, Sugar Cane and Ruby Star. The step which you are about to take is the most important into which two ponies can come. It is a union of two ponies founded upon mutual respect and affection. Your lives will change, your responsibilities will increase, but your joy will be multiplied if you are sincere and earnest with your pledge to one another,” he paused to breath, “Sugar Cane, will you have this mare to be your wedded wife, to love her, comfort her, honour and keep her, and forsaking all others, keep you only unto her, for so long as you both shall live?”

“I do.”

“Ruby Star, will you have this stallion to be your wedded husband, to love him, comfort him, honour and keep him, and forsaking all others, keep you only unto him, so long as you both shall live?”

“I do.”

“The bride and groom have written their own vows and will read them now.”

I took a deep breath and turned to look into Ruby's eyes, smiling softly, “I want to be your friend, For ever and ever without break or decay, when the hills are all flat, and the rivers are all dry, when it lightens and thunders in winter, when it rains and snows in summer, when Heaven and Earth mingle, even then, never will I part from you.”

Ruby was fighting back tears and CB, standing to the side with Lily and Firebird and Crackshot, all serving as bridesmaids, gagged a little.

Ruby took a moment to compose herself before speaking, though her voice was still strained with emotion. “Fair is the white star of twilight, and the sky...sky...” She trailed off, her eyes going wide, looking at me in terror.

“What's wrong?” I asked softly.

“M...My water just broke.”

Footnote: 50% to next level