Ditzy was happy to be back on her feet. Her mailbag slung over her flank, the familiar blue vest and cap on. Pen in her left pocket. It was Dinky’s first day at school, and Ditzy’s heart skipped with delight when three fillies came running to greet Dinky when they arrived at the school house.

She’d managed to say a quick hello to Cheerilee, but she had work to do. Rounds to make. Letters to deliver.

First off, complaints to Mayor Mare. She grimaced as Ditzy handed over the stack of letters.

“Don shoof da meffenger,” she mumbled with a smile, as she held out the clipboard for Mayor Mare to sign. The Mayor returned a weak smile.

Next, she had to deliver a small pink envelope with a little heart on it, addressed to Golden Harvest, from Written Script. Delivery address and return address identical. Ditzy giggled at the cute couple.

After that was a large brown envelope addressed ‘To The Proprietor, Carousel Boutique, Ponyville’.

Rarity had been very happy to receive her delivery (Duchess silk swatches, the latest colours from Canterlot), and was positively scandalized when Ditzy recounted the events of the trip to the farm. Ditzy left with a promise for more tea and cake.

Then there were the party invitations. Lots of party invitations. Ditzy wondered what the Ponyville Postal Service would do without the custom of a certain pink party pony. She smiled, knowing back at the postal office, she had one such invitation addressed to her, sitting in her locker.

There was a magazine addressed to one Gizmo: “Hey Skinny, Yer ribs are showing! Let Iron Will make you a STALLION!”

Twenty eight letters addressed to a certain pink party pony, care of Sugarcube Corner. All labeled RSVP.

But nothing to Sweet Apple Acres.

She delivered the mail, and collected the outgoing letters.

Ditzy had habitually left Sugarcube Corner for last, the mail had a tendency to get covered with cake batter when in the vicinity of Pinkie. Ditzy pushed through the swinging doors into the bakery.

A very, very, very long inhale of air told the mailpony that Pinkie was indeed there.

“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh–” Pinkie Pie jumped around Ditzy.

Ditzy felt each leg rise and fall, as Pinkie looked under her for whatever she was expecting.

“ohmygoshohmygoshohmy— where is it?” Pinkie asked, a frown forming. At some point, Pinkie seemed to have taken and worn Ditzy’s hat.

Ditzy sighed, and opened her saddlebags, and handed a large wad of RSVP’s. Then she took her hat back.

“It was supposed to come today!” Pinkie pouted.

“Ummm,” Ditzy asked cautiously, “what were you expecting?”

“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!”– Pinkie gasped –“I ordered a new confetti cannon! 68 pounder…”

“That-” Ditzy looked nervously around for the Cakes. Or Anypony. “That might have to be collected from the Post Office direct.”

“I mean, just think about it, with that I could welcome new ponies before they even step into the town I could have it in my room and boooooooooom welcome party Pinkie style though I’d have to make sure I didn’t load it with cake batter like the time I did to Cranky oh but maybe I could use it to deliver creamy cakes across town though Mr Cake wasn’t impressed with my tangerine tartelette trebuchette-”

Ditzy mentally recoiled. Who under Celestia’s sun would sell a cannon. To Pinkie Pie? The skies around Ponyville just became a lot more dangerous. Images of poor pegasi penetrated with festively flashy flak filled her mind. Thank Celestia she couldn’t fly for the next few weeks.

“–and so I said, ‘68 Pound Confetti Balls are dangerous? Don’t be silly!’”

Ditzy allowed her brain to catch up. She was not sure what was scarier, Pinkie with a naval grade cannon, or her complete lack of her typical non-sequitur.

“I, ummm, have to keep going with my round,” Ditzy said, feeling very, very nervous. “It was good seeing you, Pinkie.”

“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie grinned. “♩See you at the post office!♪”

Ditzy returned to the post office. Two more hours of sorting and she could go and pick Dinky up from school. As she entered the small building, she was startled by a pop in her right ear. She instinctively dove for the ground. Around her, her co-workers gasped and giggled, as confetti rained down over her head.

Post Haste held a hoof down, and helped her up. “Why so jumpy?” he asked with a cheerful smile.

“Pinkie.”

“Oh, so you’ve already had a welcome back party?” her boss, Carrier laughed.

Still stunned, Ditzy responded. “She was waiting on a new delivery.”

Less laughter.

“A cannon.”

The laughter ceased.

“A naval cannon.”

Six ponies shot a hoof to their nose, all calling out “Not it!”

“Hah, Ditzy was too slow. Looks like it’s hers!” Zippy laughed from the back.

“And she’s still recovering. Haste, that delivery is on you,” Carrier barked. Post Haste groaned, and the laughter started again.

“Now, about your welcome back party.”

While the ‘party’ was very low key affair, Ditzy felt very welcome. Small sandwiches, muffins (the office knew her penchant for the baked goods), as well as tea, coffee, and a bottle of soda. After a short break, everyone went back to their work. Ditzy took the mail she’d collected to the sorting desk, and helped the two sorters. She sorted and stamped the letters due to leave Ponyville, and when they were done, she took the outgoing sack down to Doc Delivery.

“Hey Doc,” Ditzy smiled, dragging  the sack into the loading bay. “Here’s today’s outgoing.”

“Hey Ditz, glad to see you back!” Doc wrapped an arm around her neck. “Sorry I couldn’t come to the party. You wouldn’t believe what was just dragged in by twelve mail pegasi-”

Ditzy was glad to leave the excitement of the mail office.  Most of the office workers were swinging between paroxysms of disbelieving laughter, to curling up on the ground and gently rocking.

So few ponies realize the logistics of Pinkie Pie’s randomness. Next Chapter: Chapter 9 Estimated time remaining: 41 Minutes