It’s day... or rather night 211 in the castle of the equine nation known as Equestria.

The whole land seemed to be something out of a fairy tale, as it’s filled to the brim with arcane secrets and beasts so magnificent that Earth’s most alien fauna are put to shame. It has been a surprisingly languid journey from your first frightening and confusing day to now, almost eight months later. Your new hosts had been incredibly kind and accommodating. Not once have they ever lashed out at you, whether it be in confusion or frustration. In fact, they had been so kind and trusting that at first you had suspected some sort of trap. But it all turned out well, much to your relief.

The only negative part was that as the only human in Equestria, you were placed under a protection act for endangered species. This means that you had to have a guard tail you in public places. It’s annoying at times, but still tolerable.

You step out of your bed and stretch with a mighty yawn. For whatever reason, the ambient magic in the air has reversed your sleeping cycle, meaning you find it much more restful to sleep during the day and be active during the night.

Princess Luna seemed fine with the turn of events. She’s glad that the resident alien is nocturnal like her, though you swear it’s just so she can childishly hold it over her sister’s head.

You couldn’t say that you minded too much either. Though the Equestrian nightlife is somewhat sparse, the atmosphere of the land greatly made up for it.

The ever different constellations, courtesy of the lunar alicorn, and almost total lack of light pollution makes the backdrop of everywhere you go simply breathtaking.

’Knock knock!’

You turn to the door of your suite-like room. Although you are required to have a guard or two in public, they tend to seek you out instead, like they did just now...

The door swings open on oiled hinges to reveal the smirking visage of a nightguard mare.

Like the others of the nightguard core, she has charcoal gray fur that extends into tufts on her chest and the tips of her ears. Her slitted eyes, the same color as gold coins, lock their fond gaze onto yours. Finally, folded at her sides are a pair of leathery, bat-like wings. At the moment, she is devoid of the indigo armor that Luna’s troops typically sport.

“Anon,” she greets with a grin, before slowly sauntering up to you.

“Umbra. I thought tonight was your night off?” you ask as she hops up on your bed and makes herself comfortable next to you. Now that she’s up close, you can see the subtle differences that set her apart from her peers.

Her fur has a noticeable luster, her eyes shine and seem especially attentive, her ears swivel around at sounds you can’t seem to hear, and her muscles are slightly more toned than other night guards. All of those little improvements are probably because of you...

“Oh, it is,” she confirms jovially. “But what else would I do other than spend time with my favorite human?”

“Umbra, I’m the ONLY human here...” you deadpan.

“Well, that just makes you even more special!” she says as she raises a foreleg and somehow manages to pinch your cheek with her hoof.

You just give her an unimpressed stare in return.

She playfully rolls her eyes. “Alright you grump, I’m technically on overtime if that improves this any.”

Umbra makes to say more, but is cut off by her stomach loudly growling. Her eyes widen and she blushes a light pink in embarrassment. “Heh, I think I forgot to have breakfast before coming here. My bad...”

“Riiiight, you so conveniently,” finger quotations “forgot to eat before seeing me. What are the chances of that?”

You idly wonder why you keep this up. Umbra is just going to get her way, as usual.

“I was in a hurry because I wanted to see you...” she mumbles self-consciously, making a pang of guilt run through you.

You sigh and rub your temples. It’s too early for this. She set you up. Just like she does every time she sees you. Resigned to your fate, you shift your legs around and get comfortable before turning your head to the side.

Umbra wastes no time and clambers into your lap, her sad face replaced with a beaming smile. A smile that reveals two long, pointy fangs.

The things you do for friends...

“Anon, you are just too kind, you know that?” she asks as she nuzzles herself into the crook of your neck, tickling your chin with her soft, short cropped mane and filling your nose with the scent of lilac.

“You owe me, and I won’t forget it,” you warn her halfheartedly.

“Hmmm... Thats fine with me...” Umbra replies, her voice little higher than a throaty purr. With her muzzle against your exposed neck, she inhales deeply, taking in the scent of your flesh, and more importantly, what lies beneath it.

As you found out from your first month here, all of Luna’s guards...

Umbra smiles again, once more showing off her gleaming teeth.

...Are vampires...

Her whole body lets out a few brief shivers of anticipation against yours, a reaction that she’s had ever since the first time. Her mouth opens, and she gives a long, testing lick to the artery on your neck, before quietly smacking her lips and shivering again. With excruciating slowness, she lowers her mouth to your bared neck, unhurriedly sinking her pearl white fangs into you.

You flinch at the brief flare of pain, but otherwise dare not move. You hope beyond all hope that Umbra doesn’t see your heated face. It’s bad enough that she insists on doing this to you, so you’ll never let her know in any way shape or form that you enjoy it as well.

For some unfathomable reason, humans can’t be turned by pony vampire bites, and human blood is apparently many times more appetizing, filling, and nutritious than anything else available. You’re silently thankful.

It’s... different. Different knowing that you have something that the night guard wants so badly, and that she has to take it directly from you. If you were a cruel man, you would deny her just to see her squirm. But you could never do that even if you tried.

She’d never let you live any of it down.

The batmare stifles a moan as she drinks your precious lifeblood, her eyes fluttering and body slowly going limp.

You wrap your arms around her to keep her held up, letting her cool, plush-furred body rest against yours as she takes in her fill. Your heart is beating a mile a minute, whether it’s from being fed on, or just yourself, you’re not sure. You hope that Umbra is too zoned out feel it.

She takes an especially large gulp, making you the slightest bit lightheaded, but you shake it away as to not fall over.

Her eyes slowly become unfocused. Before long, it’s as if she’s in a bliss induced trance.

You and her remain there, each holding tightly to the other for what seems like hours, but is in reality less than ten minutes. Finally she pulls away from you, leaving two slowly bleeding holes in your neck that she absentmindedly licks until the blood stops oozing out of them. Even when done, she doesn’t bother to move out of your lap, but rather opts to lean against you as she digests her meal.

Pushing the heat away from your face, you look down at Umbra with a raised eyebrow.

“You’re a real pain in the neck, you know that?”

She lets out a low laugh and looks up at you, gold eyes twinkling with mirth. “How long did it take you to think up one?”

Hovering just outside the window, a pair of red-faced night guard pegasi ponder over what they just saw. Did Major Umbra just FEED on the resident human? And he’s fine? No turning? No freaking out? But most importantly, Umbra looked like she was drinking an orgasm the instant she stuck him with her fangs. Is human blood that good?

The pair look at each other. Somepony needs to know this.

With the sound of wings beating in chilled air, the pair of bat-winged guards take off from the windowsill into their master’s night.

“Are you quite done?”

“...No... you’re warm, you know that?”

You roll your eyes as Umbra refuses to move from her spot leaned against you.

The night guard in your lap gives you a cheeky grin as you level her with an unimpressed stare.

“You can be pretty irritating when you want, can’t you?”

Umbra smiles, showing off her red-stained fangs. Even now, it’s still so odd to think that the red on her teeth is YOUR blood.

“Only for you,” she says dramatically. “You’re almost too much fun to rile up.”

If it was even possible, you feel your face flatten into a look so unamused for a second, you fear that it might stick like that.

She just snickers behind a hoof. Well, that’s all fine and good, because two can play at that game.

You stand so fast off of the bed that Umbra has no time to react, launching her off of you with a high-pitched, bat-like squeal of surprise. Before she can fall, you reach out and catch her just beneath the forelegs, leaving her hanging in your hands.

The batmare blinks in surprise and looks down, seeing the floor still a fair distance away from her hanging hooves. She turns her gold eyes back to yours, both of them reflecting gratefulness as she smiles brightly.

“Thanks Anon, I thought for a second there you’re going to let me-!”

You smirk evilly and take your hands out from under, letting her drop.

“FAALLL! Oof!” she cries as she lands rump first on the hard floor.

She stands with a wince and rubs her sore behind with a foreleg. “Oww... did you need to do that?” she asks, both her tone and her stare accusing.

You shrug and give her a lopsided smile. “What can I say? You’re too much fun to rile up.”

Umbra grumbles and pouts at the sudden turnabout.

“So, do you know if they’re still serving breakfast downstairs? You may be full, but I’m feeling pretty peckish,” you ask the nightguard.

She stops her pouting in favor of a thinking pose. “Hmm, actually I think I came in here a little early. So they must just be getting everything set up down there. Before we go, you might want to put something else on,” she says, pointing out the fact that you’re still in the shorts and T-shirt that you were sleeping in, “or do you? The whole ‘human needing clothes’ thing is pretty weird...” she absentmindedly ponders.

You roll your eyes and make a shooing motion at the door. “I’ll change real quick. Head out and I’ll join you in a minute.”

Umbra raises an eyebrow and smiles slyly. “What? Is big, bold Anon afraid to be unclothed in front of a pony? Or is it because I’m a mare? Come on, I won’t tell anypony what I see...”

Your face goes pink in embarrassment as you try to put together a reply. “Umbra! It’s a cultural sort of thing. I can’t exactly undo a lifetime of social conditioning, you know.”

The smile on her face almost looks dirty now. “‘Out with the old, in with the new’ they say. Same can go for traditions. Why not start now?” she says, waggling her eyebrows.

You force the color away from your face and point stiffly at the door. “Out.”

Umbra sticks her tongue out teasingly as she complies. “You’re no fun,” she says lightly.

Once you hear the door close behind her, you walk up to the dresser and swap outfits into something more presentable. It’s just jeans, a clean shirt, and a zip up hoodie, but the ponies don’t know that it’s casual clothing. That means you can just waltz around nobles and the princesses looking like a scrub and none of them realize it. It’s nice.

Speaking of that, you need to see if any of the castle tailors know how to make denim. This is your last intact pair of jeans.

Now that you don’t look like you just fell out of bed, you walk out into the hall just outside your room.

At night, it’s as if the whole castle transforms.

In place of the sunlight that would usually be streaming through the windows, the silver light of the moon softly illuminates everything its rays fall upon. In the places where the moonlight is not enough, torches that burn with blue flame are placed, giving the area a blue glow and a shaded feeling without robbing castle residents of their sight.

The tapestries depicting Celestia’s accomplishments are rolled up, and in their place are ones that depict Luna’s many adventurous endeavors.

What you love most about the castle at night though, is how inviting everything feels. It’s just as awe-inspiring during the day, but how Luna and the night ponies have it set up after the moon rises...

It’s, dare you said for how cheesy it is? Enchanting. As if your eyes don’t want to be pulled away from the sight.

Looking down, you find Umbra waiting for you just as she said she would. “Ready?”

You give her a nod.

She smiles and starts a leisurely trot down the hallway with you walking at her side.

Despite yourself, you can’t help but feel at ease here in Canterlot. You expected the residents, many of whom are nobles and other well-to-do individuals, to be stiff and unkind. But it seemed to be the opposite, for most of them were actually rather friendly after they got over their fright of you. They’re still posh and formal, but that was to be expected. There are the handful of prudes who think you’re some filthy beast, though. Can’t please everyone you guess.

The guards were a totally different matter. While the stoic solar guards wouldn’t break their indifferent front, they don’t shy away from you. The lunar guards would crowd around you when you first arrived as they were totally open with their curiosity. None of them were anywhere near as curious as Umbra, though, and that’s how your friendship with her started.

You look around at the familiar, but still unnavigable halls as a grimace forms on your face. Even after living here for the better part of a year, you would still get lost pretty easy.

“Umbra, how do you know where you’re going around here? Everywhere seems the same to me,” you ask the mare with a smidgen of frustration in your voice.

She smiles as she walks, her pearly teeth flashing in the low light. “As an officer, I have to know the ins and outs of the entire castle. It took a while to memorize, but it was certainly worth it.” She looks up at you. “Want me to help you memorize the place sometime?” she asks inquisitively. ”You never know when it could come in handy.”

You mull it over for a moment. It would be nice to be able to get around without having to stop and ask for directions every other hallway. But surely Umbra has other duties she has to take care of?

“Umbra, I don’t mean to sound like I’m trying to get rid of you, but don’t you have other duties as a guard? I don’t want you getting in trouble just because you wanted to take the time to help me out.”

“Aww, Anon...” she nuzzles herself against your legs affectionately with a warm expression, not unlike a cat. “It’s real sweet of you to think that, but I can just dump some of my paperwork on somepony else to make time.”

That... seems like a terrible way to make time.

“Are you sure about that? Because it sounds to me like you’re just trying to get out of work now,” you point out.

She huffs. If her wings had feathers, you’re sure that they will be ruffled in annoyance. “Hey now, I’m trying to do something nice for you. Now it sounds like you’re trying to get of spending time with me.”

You raise a hand in a pacifying gesture. “Just saying. I’m not going to say no if that’s what you’re going to do.”

Umbra goes from irritated back to joyful and what seems to be an instant. Even in different worlds, women still seem to be bipolar when you least expect it...

You and the batpony round the corner and begin to hear the sounds of the large dining room where the princesses would hold frequent banquets. It wouldn’t be long before you arrived.

“Say Umbra,” you start, getting the attention of your companion, “what have you been up to lately? This is the first time seeing you in a few days.”

“Oh you know, same old same old,” she says with a shrug, “paperwork, training recruits...” She smiles, fangs sparkling, and you swear you hear a low growl in her throat. “...Beating ponies senseless in sparing sessions.”

Oh boy, here we go. You cross your arms and roll your eyes. “Yeah, beating them senseless because you’re getting a power buff from me.”

Umbra looks up at you, golden eyes flashing with mock hurt. “Anon, don’t tell me you have no faith in my abilities as a guard! That cuts me deep...” She melodramatically holds a hoof over her heart and lets out a fake sniffle.

You snort and smile at the antics. It’s ironic how the night guards have more personality and are more approachable than the gold-sporting solar guards.

The rest of the short trip is spent in companionable silence.

Once inside the dining room, the delicious smell of gourmet food and the dull roar of conversation assaults your senses.

Umbra subtly winces in pain and folds her ears back, feeling the nasty drawback of being strengthened by your blood: sensory overload.

Waiters come and go from the long table with the haste only well-paid servers have. Filling drinks, taking orders, bringing out food, and taking dirty dishes. Most of the space at the table is taken up by night guards, seeing as there are so few of them, that they can all fit in the room. Other than the guards, there is the occasional night-owl noble and a handful of vampony scholars, many of the latter are reading as the eat.

“Anon? Major?”

You both look to see Princess Luna looking toward you from the head of the table. She then smiles and waves you over. “You’re just in time! Come and sit!” she says, indicating two open chairs on her right.

Once seated, a vampony waitress comes up with a small notepad and pencil held in a purple aura. Apparently, any of the three races can be turned as you learned early on. The waitress is a unicorn, meaning she lacks wings but has a horn.

She looks like other vamponies. Gray fur, slitted eyes, and the points of her fangs poking out of her lips. The difference comes from the un-spiraled, slightly curved horn poking out of her mane.

You always thought it strange how the horn changes after being turned.

The waitress flips to a clean cage in her notepad and clears her throat. “Mr. Anonymous, Major Umbra, what can I get for you tonight?”

Umbra waves off the waitress. “I’m not hungry. Thanks for asking though.”

The unicorn turns to you, her eyes strangely intense. “For you, Mr. Anon?”

“Some eggs, toast, and coffee would be all right for me,” you say quickly, uncomfortable with the waitresse's stare.

She averts her eyes for just a moment to write down your order, then returns them to you. “How do you want your eggs and coffee?”

“Over easy, black,” you answer a little faster this time.

She jots it down and then looks over to Luna. “Your Majesty? Anything I can get you? A refill on your coffee, maybe?” the unicorn waitress asks, dropping the leer that she was giving you.

Luna just smiles and shakes her head.

With that, the waitress takes off, but not without giving you another unsettling look.

The instant that the unicorn is out of earshot, Luna looks to you and Umbra with an unsure smirk. “So, We have heard an interesting rumor that just started to float around...”

Author's Notes:

This is a side project that's been sitting on my pastebin for awhile. I figured I'd upload it here because, why not? Don't expect updates often, since I tend to only write this then I can't focus on my other work.