My eyes closed slowly. When I opened them again I found myself fully pony, in the house that both me and Shadow lived. Shadow wasn’t home for some reason; usually he was getting sleep so he would be ready for his night shift. I had the day off today, something about being unfit for duty after last nights escapade.

Bah, they don’t know anything. I could consume twice as much alcohol and still be able to STAND AROUND! Ah, oh well. There was nothing planned tonight and since I had the day off and Shadow was gone I had literally nothing to do. Well I guess I should invent something to do.

I went to the fridge to prepare myself some breakfast. When I opened it I was awed by the sight of a wall of my favourite kind of beer. Cases of Bucklite lined the fridge. I quickly grabbed one with telekinesis and placed it on the table.

Opening it slowly I saw that it in deed had a full load of the liquid I so much enjoyed. I quickly guzzled a bottle, which was soon followed by a second, and a third. I belched loudly. I wish every day could be like this.

-------2 cases later-------

I hiccupped. Woah… what is happening… heh I’ve never been this drunk before. This feels greaaaaat… I watched the sun sink for moment, my intoxicated mind not realizing that it was too early for the sun to set. The door burst open, revealing Discord, the God of chaos. I snorted as he turned towards me.

“You! Look, I'm in a bad mood right now, my plan just fell through the floor and you’re my backup. So I’ll give you a choice, experience nightmares or swear allegiance to me!” I sat for a moment, why was Mr. Discord acting like this? He patted the ground with his foot, crossing his arms in frustration.

A game! That’s what it was; it was all just a game! “Okay I’ll play… along. I’ll *hic* join forces with you.” He grinned. “This’ll be a fun game!” His grin vanished. Why was he suddenly so un-happy, I agreed to join him? Wasn’t that what he wanted?

“YOU STUPID PONY!” He made to smack me but apparently his conscience prevented him or something. “This isn’t a game! For your insolence you must be punished, afterwards I will ask again.” He snapped his fingers and the room transformed into the barracks back in Canterlot. I was standing in line with all the rest of the recruits, well as best as I could stand while severely intoxicated. Discord stood in front of me. “Let’s see how much you like failure.” The drill sergeant reached me and started yelling stuff but I wasn’t paying attention.

I yawned. “This is quite interesting, but it isn’t very much *hic* fun now is it. You know what’s fun? Roller coasters! And um… Beer! Yeah! Maybe a roller coaster through beer! YEAH!” The scene before me shifted to that of my imagination. I was sitting on a very tall roller coaster; Discord was strapped in next to me.

“How did you…” He was cut off as the cart suddenly dropped from the obscene height, making speech impossible. My lips started pulling back from the sheer amount of G-Forces we were speeding at. As we neared the bottom I saw the most glorious sight know to pony kind. Miles and miles in all direction was a lake of beer, and by the smell I could tell it just wasn’t any beer, but my favourite!

Normally we would be flattened against the lake of alcohol below but that would be no fun. As we sped towards the sloshing liquid I opened my mouth wide preparing for the influx of hazardous material to wash into

What I got instead was a mouth full of oil. I opened my eyes to find myself floating in a sea of oil instead of the drink I so much preferred. “Yo Dissy… what gives? I thought we were having fun! Where is the coaster, the beer, the mares?” I complained. I was starting to think that Discord didn’t want to have fun at all.

He put up his finger and opened his mouth to respond but was caught in thought it seemed. “Did you just say mares?”

I giggled. “Yes, I did but I was just seeing if you would catch it. He he he. HA HA HA oh you should have seen the look on your face!” I snorted involuntarily. The feeling of complete bliss brought upon by the alcohol indulgence clouded my mind to such a way that I didn’t understand why he seemed to be becoming annoyed.

He threw up his arms in the air in defeat. “What is with you? You act like your intoxicated. Unable to even comprehend what I'm trying to say!” He stopped his rant and looked at me.

I snort again, trying to control my alcohol induced laughter. “That’s because I am… I think… I’ve never had this much before.” I hiccupped loudly. “Wow! That’s the loudest one yet!” Suddenly the room contorted again and I was strapped to a table with a large blade above me. “Woah man, what’s this for? We gonna play another game? O! O! Is this a magic trick where you cut me in half yet I'm still alive?” The saw came down and started to slice into my body.

Surprisingly enough I felt no pain. In fact it kind of tickled. I laughed out loud. “Oh Dissy… he he… st… stop... I can… can’t take it anymore! It’s too ticklish!” I looked over at Discord through my tears of laughter. His jaw was hanging open wide. “Heh heh, you’ll catch flies if your mouth stays like that.”

The operating room disappears and I find myself sitting in the middle of a field of corn. Why corn? Corn wasn’t fun. Or was it? Discord was standing next to me. “You’re a lost soul in a sea of unforgiving nothingness. Don’t you feel exhausted? Desperate?” Now that I thought about it I was feeling a bit exhausted.

“Now that you say it I do feel a bit peckish.” Deciding to solve the problem my stomach presented me with I started up a heat spell. Instantly the corn around me started popping into another one of my favourite treats. “Nothing settles the stomach like POPCORN!” I full on dive into the sea of white salty buttery goodness.

Wait how did this get buttered and salted? Ah, the hay why, the taste alone was enough to distract me. I looked at Discord, he was floating above the massive sea of carbohydrates. “Dissy, jump in, it’s fun!” I throw another hooful in my mouth. His face twitches and he goes full on rage mode, stomping and kicking at the popcorn.

“YOU STUPID IDIOTIC CHAOTIC PONY! CAN’T YOU SEE I'M TRYING TO BREAK YOU?!” He teleported in front of me, his eyes literally on fire.

“O! O! I can do that too! I searched my mind for the spell I had learned to intimidate your opponent. I found what I hoped was the spell and cast it. I saw a ball of flame build up at the tip of my horn gathering to a large ball of molten fire. Uh oh…

The ball shot straight into Discord’s face continuing on as if it had encountered no resistance. “Note to self. Keep fireball spell in check.” I said to myself, making a mental note that I would hopefully remember. “Hey Dissy you okay?” I noticed that the upper half of his body was frozen in its threatening position, black as Shadow’s mane.

He coughed slightly before standing up again, the blackness falling away like ash. “Well, I give up.” Wait what?

I found myself back in mine and Shadow’s house. “But, I thought we were having fun though!”

Discord just facepalms. “You are by far the weirdest pony I have ever met. I just can’t find weakness in you.” He looks over at the fridge and walks towards it. I don’t mind, if he wants some of my bucklite he is welcome to it.

He opened the door and sighed when he saw the contents. “What? Do you not like bucklite? It’s my favourite! I drank like… um… you know what I can’t remember how much I drank.”

He facepalms again. “This explains quite a lot actually. Oh well it seems I am unable to gain a foothold in your mind, and I’ve stayed to long as it is.” He smiled kind of deviously. “Then again, maybe your more helpful to my cause just the way you are. Until next time you crazy pony.”

I just cocked my head, slightly confused. My confusion was magnified when he just up and disappeared. “But I thought… that um… what was I doing again?” Oh yeah! The scene shifts again and I find myself on the roller coaster again. “WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO” I scream as I plummet to the lake of beer below. This was by far the best dream I ever had! Next Chapter: Awkward Conversation is Awkward Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 3 Minutes