Chapter 3

Market District, Ponyville

Dusk Shine and Molestia finished up their lunch and headed out to the town square, where various ponies hawked their wares. They approached Carrot Top’s stand to purchase some vegetables.

“Molly I need to buy some stuff for dinner tonight, so it’ll just take me a few minutes.”

Molestia absentmindedly nodded, while levitating a carrot in front of her snout. She sniffed it and placed a bit on the table. Trotting over to Carrot Top, she tapped the vendor on the shoulder.

“What lovely carrots you have dear! They’re so vibrantly colored, so…long…and so very thick.”

Carrot smiled. “Why thank you! I just picked those this morning. Ponyville deserves only the thickest, juiciest carrots.”

“I couldn’t agree more dear. This carrot looks so delicious; I think I’ll eat it right now.”

Molestia stuck out her tongue and began to slowly lick the carrot from the base to its tip. Just to be dramatic she let out a soft moan. With the motions of a well-practiced night pony she practically stuck the entire carrot in her mouth and began bobbing her head up and down. After about twenty seconds she nibbled on the end of the carrot, looked back at Carrot Top and smiled. Carrot’s face was just about as red as the tomatoes on the counter.

Molestia continued to chomp on her carrot. “Like I said thick and juicy, have a pleasant day Ms. Top.”

Dusk was so busy shopping that he hadn’t noticed Molly’s antics. Once he was done they headed over to Applejack’s stand to buy some fruit.

“Oh you bought one of Carrot Top’s carrots huh? They’re pretty good aren’t they?”

“Mhmm it was very good. Oh would you look at all those nice, plump apples. I haven’t had one in ages. We should buy some.”

“Sounds good to me, besides I haven’t seen AJ in while.”

“Dusk, what do you prefer? Soft plots or Firm plots?”

Dusk’s eyebrows scrunched in confusion. “Huh…what did you say?”

“I said: Soft plots or Firm plots dear. It’s not a difficult question.”

“WHAT? W-why are you asking me that now of all times?”

“It’s elementary my dear Dusk Shine. I simply wish to know your preferences concerning mares’ rear ends.”

Dusk began to stutter. “I-I’m not sure…I guess it depends on the mare?”

Molestia pointed to Applejack. “Take her for example. She works long days on the farm, thus her body is firm, toned and muscular. I’m willing to bet I could bounce a bit off her flank. I imagine her cutie mark is also very sensitive…due to the lack of fat. A fine lay if I ever saw one.”

“She certainly does have a fine flank…hold on! I don’t like AJ like that.”

“Perhaps you don’t…but don’t tell me you’ve never entertained the thought of plowing her farmer’s field. All those rodeo competitions and apple bucking, my word she would be a manticore in bed. No need to be ashamed in admiring her rugged beauty. I’m quite tempted as well.”

Dusk’s cheeks reddened. “Molly stop doing that! I don’t want to get another…problem.”

“My dear it is simply my nature. I could no more stop having dirty thoughts, than a fish could stop swimming.”

“Alright fine…just don’t talk like that around AJ.”

Molestia levitated a bit in the air. “Oh I won’t but my curiosity needs to be satisfied. Go ahead and start talking to her, it will serve as a distraction while I perform a little test.”

“I guess but don’t you dare hurt her.”

Molestia gasped. “Dusk Shine how dare you even entertain such a thought! I would never hurt one of my little ponies…unless a naughty spanking was involved.”

Applejack waved to Dusk. “Howdy there Dusk, how are ya?”

“I’m doing fine. Say could I get a dozen red delicious apples?”

“Sure, just picked ‘em this mornin’. Dusk are you feelin’ alright? Yer face is a bit flushed.”

Oh crap I can’t stop staring at her flank, come on Dusk think of something! “I’m ok umm…just a bit out of shape from walking so much ehehehe.”

“Consarnit Dusk ya need ta get out more. You can’t be spendin’ all of your time hauled up in that musty old library. Try joggin’ or maybe you could help me and Mac with some applebucking.”

“Yeah you’re right…maybe I could help you guys in a couple days.”

Applejack grinned. “That’s the spirit! I’m willin’ ta bet that Bloom will be happy to see you as well. Now is there anythin’ else ya need sugarcube?”

Dusk noticed Molestia creeping up behind AJ with a floating bit. “No, I’m good…I think. It was nice seeing you AJ.”

“Y’all come back now ya hear! Next time I’ll give ya a…WHAT CELESTIA DAMNED VARMNIT JUST SPANKED MAH FLANK! AH SWEAR IF AH FIND YA, YER HIDE’S GETTIN’ TACKED ON MAH WALL!!”

Molestia giggled noticing that the bit had indeed bounced off AJ’s supremely firm buttocks. Composing herself, Molestia trotted over to AJ with an apologetic frown.

“Oh my I’m terribly sorry Applejack; I seemed to have bumped into you.”

AJ wheeled around in surprise. “Princess is that you? Dang it, I’m sorry ah didn’t mean ta lash out at ya. Ah thought some sleazy no good pony-pervert was aimin’ ta give mah flank a good smack.”

“Don’t worry Applejack that’s entirely understandable, I would have done much the same in your position. But…I must admit you do have a very shapely flank if I do say so myself.”

Applejack blushed. “Aww why thank ya kindly. Ah don’t think I’m that pretty…”

“Tsk tsk nonsense I say. I think you’ll find that stallions find you quite a bit more sexy than you think.”

“Ya…really think so?”

Molly caressed AJ’s cheek. “I know so dear.”

“Well what do ya know about that? Thanks yer majesty. Umm not ta be rude but what did ya do to yer mane?”

“Oh I felt like coloring it, you know to change things up a bit. Variety is the spice of life after all.”

AJ shrugged. “Can’t say ah like variety too much, things should be plain and simple.”

“Some ponies take comfort in routines. There is nothing wrong with that.”

AJ fished out a golden delicious apple from her stand. “Take this, it’s on the house. Think of it as a way of sayin’ sorry for mah outburst.”

Molly happily munched on the apple. “All is forgiven dear. I’m afraid that Dusk Shine and I must be going, have a pleasant day!”

Applejack waved to them both as they trotted away. The whole time she was talking to the princess she had strange feeling that her highness was lying. Applejack decided it wasn’t a big deal and shrugged it off. She had more important things to worry about, like making bits.

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Puddinghead Park, Ponyville

Dusk decided that since it was such a pleasant afternoon, he would take Molly out for a stroll in the park. She had just finished her apple and tossed it into a nearby trash can. Dusk noticed that she was humming, happy as a pig in mud. He rolled his eyes knowing what she did to AJ was extremely manipulative.

“Molly I can’t believe you did that.”

“Don’t fret my little sunshine, nopony was hurt or killed. By the way the apple was delicious!”

Dusk sighed. “Oh well, no helping it now. So…was it like you thought?”

“So was what like I thought? I’m not sure I understand what you’re asking.”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about!”

Molly whistled. “Nope, can’t say I do. You’re just going to have to come out and say it.”

“AJ’s FLANK! W-was it…did the bit bounce off of it?”

“Oh that. For your information, Dusky, the bit did indeed bounce. What a marvelous tushie, why I could have groped it a-l-l d-a-y loooooonnng.”

Dusk had a goofy grin on his face. “That’s nice to hear since I didn’t actually get to see you do it. Ughh Celestia damn me! Your lustful attitude is rubbing off on me.”

“Good, you know how I like rubbing things off. It’s the least I can do.”

Dusk face-hoofed. “I really ought to be more careful about what I say in front of you…”

“Now, now Dusk let’s not be a dullard. Life is far too short not to be a pervert sometimes.”

“Life’s too short? Isn’t that irrelevant to you since you’re immortal?”

Molly rolled her eyes. “Perhaps, but it still pertains to YOU dear. You are mortal after all.”

Dusk grumbled. “Next you’re gonna start trying to hook me up with everypony.”

“Now why would that be a bad thing? Even somepony as important as Tia’s protégé should have a special somepony…to have fun with.”

“You’re starting to sound like my mother. She’s always saying: ‘Dusk Shine why haven’t you found yourself a nice mare to settle down with? What about that Rarity who lives in Ponyville, isn’t she a unicorn as well?’ In any case I already have…somepony in mind.”

Molly laughed. “I think you could use a roll in the hay, that’s all. I’m not some middle-aged mare with grand-foals on her mind. Might I ask who this special mare is, that has your attention?”

Dusk shuffled his hooves. “I’m not sure I want to talk about this with you. You might end up making it worse.”

“Listen to me Dusk, I may be a pervert but I respect ponies’ feelings and by extension their boundaries. I truly want to help you; because you’re…you’re the first pony to befriend me, despite my idiosyncrasies. Please just let me try.”

Dusk winced knowing that he would probably regret this for the rest of his mortal days.

“There is a mare I have my eyes one. I’ve had a crush on her for oh…I guess since I first came to Ponyville.”

“*Squee* YES and who is it?”

“Its…Cheerilee.”

Molestia looked very serious for a moment. “Hmm yes I can see that actually.”

“Huh? Is it that obvious?”

“I wouldn’t say obvious but you two have very similar interests. Ponies cut out of the same cloth as it were. I believe the correct term would be that you are both extremely nerdy. Yes that’s it!”

“I hate that term but yes we both love learning, books, and teaching.”

“So she has a beautiful mind hmm? But…if my memory serves me correctly she is quite an attractive mare is she not?”

Dusk adopted a dreamy stare. “Yeah…she has such a pretty coat and she always smells like flowers. Oh and her smile it’s just so infectious it makes me want to smile too. But you know what really gets me?”

“Go on, do tell.”

“Her eyes. They look more beautiful than the most precious emerald. More importantly they radiate with kindness and warmth…like she’ll always be there to tell you everything is ok.”

Holy horseapples does this stallion have it bad. “Yep, I hereby diagnose you with grade A love-sickness.”

“Oh come on Molly, I’m bearing my heart for you don’t make fun of me!”

“I meant no harm dear. So have you done anything to express your feelings to this fairytale princess yet?”

Dusk’s ears drooped. “No…not yet.”

“Why not? She certainly seems important enough.”

“Well, I’ve been so busy with trying to save Equestria and with the library that I haven’t had time. Plus she’s ten years older than I am, and what if she isn’t looking for a stallion? What if she doesn’t think I’m old enough? What if she reje…”

Molestia stuck her hoof in his mouth. “Enough! You can deal in as many ‘what ifs’ as you want Dusk, but all I’m hearing is excuses not reasons. Ponies that are important to us deserve our time, even if we have other responsibilities. We make time for them. Do you understand?”

“I guess so.”

“NO, there is no guessing. Tell me you understand.”

“I…understand.”

“All you can do is hope for the best. It’s better to try and fail, than to not try at all. Besides you have many wonderful friends to fall back on if things don’t work out, myself included.”

There was a slight quiver in Dusk’s voice. “You really mean that?”

Molestia nodded. “Indeed, I do.”

Dusk shuffled over to Molly and to her complete surprise, he gave her a tight hug. She quickly got over her initial shock and wrapped one of her wings around him.

“Thank you Molly.”

Molestia smiled. “You’re welcome dear. Now let’s move on from all this moping around and enjoy the rest of our stroll, shall we?”

The two made their way towards the pond, to find a butter yellow pegasus feeding some ducks. Dusk immediately recognized that it was Fluttershy. She was humming a pleasant tune, when she turned her head and noticed both Molestia and Dusk. Fluttershy waved to them with her wing.

“Hello Shy how are you today?”

“Oh I’m doing very well thank you. I just came out to the pond today to feed some of my duck friends. Ponies feed them breadcrumbs sometimes but they need real duck food to help them grow strong and healthy. They really shouldn’t eat so much bread, it makes them umm…get fat.”

Dusk chuckled. “I bet all the foals love giving them food. It’s tough being a duck huh?”

“I wouldn’t say that. They just need to learn a little self-control. Isn’t that right Quackington?”

One of the mallards nodded at Fluttershy’s statement. To this day Dusk had no idea how the animals understood what Shy was saying. Molestia levitated a bag of duck feed and started spreading it across the water, the ducks happily swam up to her and gobbled it up.

Fluttershy squeaked in surprise. “Hello your highness. I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.”

“Hello Fluttershy, no need to apologize I was just enjoying the company of these fine feathered foul.”

“They really seem to like you for some reason. I have question…umm if you don’t mind answering that is.”

“Go ahead dear.”

“You dyed your mane didn’t you?”

“Why yes I did, thank you for noticing.”

Fluttershy blushed. “I think it looks pretty…but in a more subdued way. It’s almost like your trying to blend in a bit more…I think.”

Molestia couldn’t help but nuzzle her. She was just TOO adorable!

“I’m glad somepony seems to think so. I’ll let you go about feeding the ducks, I have something I’d like to discuss with Dusk.”

“Oh…ok well I’ll be here if you need me.”

Molestia used her wing to pull Dusk aside. “Do you remember our earlier conversation about plots?”

“Come on Molly this stuff again? I thought we had a breakthrough.”

“We did, but that isn’t going to change my topics of conversation.”

“Fine, I’ll humor you. What about plots?”

“As you may have observed, Applejack was a prime example of a firm plot. Fluttershy is the exact opposite. She has an adorably soft, squishy plot. In fact, she is a bit more on the curvy side. Not a bad thing really. She just isn’t as athletic so she’s got fat in all the right places.”

Dusk groaned. “I can’t believe we’re discussing this.”

“Dusk if you want to attract a mare, you must learn what makes them attractive in the first place. It makes for good pick-up lines and compliments. Mares want to be told that they’re sexy, trust me dear.”

“That’s…a surprisingly valid point.”

“Of course it is. Now I happen to notice that Fluttershy is dazzlingly beautiful, in a sort of graceful, natural way. She clearly takes care of her mane and hair, unlike Applejack. However, because she is so shy she will never be vain about her looks. You know a lot of stallions like that in a mare. If she were even a tiny bit more assertive, stallions…and mares would line up for miles outside her door. Now, watch and learn my faithful student.”

Molestia waited until Fluttershy was done feeding the ducks. The timid pegasus flew up to a branch on one of the larger trees and tried to make herself comfortable. She almost immediately fell asleep, letting out cute little snores. Dusk felt like he had gotten a sudden case of diabetes, but gaped in horror as he saw Molly slinking up the tree.

“Molly what the hay are you doing?” Dusk hissed.

Molestia didn’t answer, instead she crept closer to the sleeping mare. Dusk swore he saw Molly drooling. Molestia used all of her hooves to grapple onto the trunk of the tree and extended her wing towards Fluttershy. She tickled the mare’s nose with the tip of her wing. Fluttershy scrunched her nose but didn’t wake. Molly tickled her again, except this time in was on the belly. Shy let out a snort and giggled but still didn’t wake up.

Dusk’s bit his hoof, when he saw what was quite possibly the most terrifying rape face he ever saw spread across Molestia’s face. Molly lifted back her wing and spanked Fluttershy’s flank, waking the poor pegasus up. Shy leapt several feet into the air and hit the ground with a soft thud, landing on her plot.

Fluttershy’s eyes watered. “Oww that really hurt. I guess that’s what I get for sleeping in a tree. I don’t understand why Rainbow Dash likes sleeping in them in the first place…”

Molestia hopped off the tree with the grace of a swan, immediately coming to Fluttershy’s aid.

“Oh you poor thing! Tell me, where does it hurt dear?”

“Well…I think I hurt my flank a little.”

“Aww that’s not good. Here let me kiss and make it better.”

Shy blushed. “Umm…I don’t think that’s necessary.”

“Hush you. As Princess of Equestria I hereby declare you need to be kissed.”

“O-ok…I don’t want to cause any trouble…”

Molestia grabbed Fluttershy’s hind legs as gently as she could and placed a soft kiss on the left side of her flank. Fluttershy blushed hotly, but didn’t resist.

“T-thank you your highness, I think I’m better now.”

“I certainly don’t think so! Your flanks must be awfully sore and I wouldn’t want you to be in pain while you trot. Let me massage them for you.”

“*Eeep* I-I…d-don’t think you need to do that. I’m fine really.”

“NO! I insist my dear. How can I call myself a princess if I can’t fix such a simple problem?”

Dusk was practically foaming at the mouth. How did Molly get away with doing this kind of stuff? She was just so…crafty.

With the gentlest of care Molestia massaged Fluttershy’s butter yellow flanks. She moved her hooves in gentle circles, eliciting a surprisingly deep moan from the shy pegasus. Grinning from ear to ear, Molestia continued…until poor Shy got a wing boner. Molly would have loved to have gone a bit further but she figured this was far enough. The alicorn laughed internally because Dusk probably got a boner of his own.

Fluttershy looked absolutely mortified. “I’m sooo sorry it felt so good I couldn’t help myself…Oh dear, oh dear. That was such a shameful display…a-and y-you were only trying to help me. I’msorryIgottago!”

With that, Shy galloped at full speed towards her cottage.

Molestia chuckled. “Poor thing, you just can’t be honest with yourself. I’m not sorry at all, I quite enjoyed that.”

Molestia found Dusk in the middle of the pond, the ducks swimming around him. He had apparently been underwater because his mane was sopping wet. The purple unicorn looked rather agitated.

“Lovely day for a swim, wouldn’t you say Dusk? Or…perhaps you just needed to cool off a bit?”

Dusk blew some bubbles in the water. “This mare is going to be the end of me…”