Chapter 15

Equestrian Express, en route to Ponyville

Dusk, Molly and AJ were well into the first hour of their train ride home. Dusk had long since retreated to the dining car to preserve his sanity and to avoid any awkward sexually based situations. Molly and AJ were sitting in a larger cabin across from each other. Molestia was quietly sipping a cup of Earl Grey, amused at Applejack’s apparent discomfort. AJ was shifting in her seat constantly tapping her hoof against the floor.

“How do ya keep so calm? This damn this is ‘bout ta drive me up the wall!”

Molly smiled. “My dear you must understand that I am, for all intents and purposes, the alicorn goddess of sex and debauchery. Think of me as Princess Cadence on steroids.”

“C-Cadence is a good pony; s-ssshe just wants ta spread love and understandin’. Yer just a t-t-tart in alicorn’s clothin’.”

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me! Words are just words at the end of the day Applejack.”

“Ah can’t believe….AHHHHHHHH ever agreed ta this!”

“Well that’s not my fault. You should really learn to curb your excessive pride. Who knows maybe you’ll learn other things from this experience.”

AJ growled. “The only thing I’m learnin’ now is how much ah want this thing outta mah mare bits.”

Molly sipped her tea. “That’s the point isn’t it? Before we arranged this little contest, sex was the last thing on your mind. Now it is at the forefront of your thoughts. It consumes you, it makes you crave it. Am I right?”

AJ blushed. “Ah…that’s…t-ain’t fair.”

Molly stroked AJ’s mane. “No need to be shy dear. Everypony craves, dare I say, needs sex. It is ingrained into our very being. Giving into your biological urges is the most natural thing you could do. Now stop being such a sour-puss and loosen up…metaphorically speaking. Not your nethers dear that would be quite impossible at the moment.”

The train had finally arrived in Ponyville. Dusk and Molly trotted towards the middle of town with AJ close behind, albeit a bit fidgety. Dusk noticed that Roseluck was out today, so as a romantic gesture he bought Molly a white rose to put in her mane. He was promptly rewarded with a sloppy kiss…that lasted twenty seconds. Roseluck chuckled at their antics, and while Dusk was a bit embarrassed he was also happy. The flowermare had also noticed AJ’s strange behavior.

“Hey Dusk what’s going on with AJ is she sick or something?”

Dusk whistled. “Oh she’s umm a bit agitated because she…had too much coffee. Yeah that’s it! Too much coffee…”

Roseluck shrugged. “I didn’t peg her as a coffee pony. Huh well ya learn something every day. I’ve never seen anypony get the jitters that bad, well except maybe Pinkie.”

AJ galloped over to Rose. “Howdy there R-roseluck! How’s y-y-yer flower stand doin’?”

Rose awkwardly shuffled her hooves. “It’s fine thank you. Are you…feeling ok, you seem a bit jumpy.”

“Nope I’m pleased as pUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNch. Nothin’ wrong here.”

“Oh well I’m glad to hear that. By the way, my brother decided to pay me a visit this week. Can you believe he came all the way from Trottingham? He asked how you were doing.”

“Isn’t that mighty n-n-neighborly of him? If ah see him around we’ll have ta catch up. Ah reckon it’s been since mah schooldays since ah seen ‘im.”

“He’s in my backyard tending the garden right now. Why don’t you say hello?”

AJ’s eyes bulged. “WHAT!? Ah mean…what a surprise.”

Roseluck grabbed AJ by the hoof. “C’mon back and seem him. I’m sure he’d love to say hi.”

“Ah don’t want ta impose…he’s workin’ after all.”

“Nonsense, I’m sure he’d say hi to you know matter how busy he was. You guys were such good friends in grade school, practically PFFs. Of course he wants to see you!”

AJ laughed nervously. “Ah ain’t that special.”

Rose slapped AJ on the back. “Don’t be so modest, he talks about you all the time. He’s always saying how he wants to see you more but lives too far away.”

In Roseluck’s back yard stood a burly stallion with a cream-colored coat. His mane and tail were similarly colored to his sister’s, however they contained gold highlights. On his flank rested a picture of a golden rose entwined with vines. He was busy drinking a canteen full of water, as a few errant drops cascaded down his toned chest.

“Hiya Briar, how goes the weeding?”

Briar Rose wiped his forehead. “Hey sis. Not too bad overall, but you really need to tend the yard more regularly. I found no less than fifteen dandelions.”

Roseluck pouted. “I’ve been busy trying to run my stand you know!”

“Yeah, while the weeds run your yard. Wait a second, AJ is that you?”

AJ gulped. “Hi…Briar. How’s it goin’?”

“I’m doing fine, my landscaping business is making a killing right now. Say, how’re the apple crops coming along?”

“C-coming? Errm yeah the apples are doin’ just dandy. If you’ve got time we could go take a look at ‘em…heh.”

“Sure, I’d like that. I haven’t seen your brother in ages either.”

Briar took another sip from his canteen, and splashed the remaining water over his head. He then ran his hooves through his mane and jerked his head to the side. This of course, made AJ even hotter under the collar. She prayed to Celestia that she had the strength to continue this conversation without making a fool of herself.

“W-well good, I’m sure Bloom will want ta see ya too.”

“I bet she’s grown up to be just like her sister. Honest, hard-working, and full of spunk!”

“Sp-p-p-punnnnk? FULL OF IT!?”

Briar looked concerned. “AJ are you feeling alright? You look a bit flushed, here lemme see if you have a fever.”

Briar pressed his forehead to AJ’s cheek and she immediately whinnied, falling on her plot. The concerned stallion placed her onto his back, for fear that she might collapse. AJ merely blushed even harder.

“Sweet Celestia you’re burning up! I’m taking you back to Sweet Apple Acres and putting you straight to bed.”

Applejack winced at what she perceived the stallion implied, however Briar himself only intended to get her to rest. He began to gallop towards the farm at a steady pace. Due to AJ’s position on his back, a certain part of her anatomy was rubbing against Briar’s coat. The horny farm mare was also inhaling the intoxicating aroma of stallion sweat, pheromones, and flowers. A combination that proved disastrous to her composure. With a groan that could put a dragon to shame she finally gave up…soaking Briar in the process.

When they neared the farmhouse AJ bolted off of him and ran straight up the stairs past a very confused Big Mac. Briar felt a wet patch on his back and noticed it was rather sticky. He then looked at the ground to find a very gooey orange colored dildo writhing around like a snake. The stallion put two and two together and brought his hoof to the wet patch. With a heavy blush he realized it smelled faintly of apples.

Briar stared at Big Mac. “Wait…what in the seven hells is going on?”

“No idea.”

“Is-is that a dildo?”

“Eeyup.”

“But AJ doesn’t do stuff like that…does she?”

“Mmnope.”

“Oh no…I’ve just embarrassed her. But doing something so lewd…in public no less! Has she no shame?”

“Mmnope, just pride.”

“If AJ was that embarrassed, then does that mean she…likes me?”

“Eeyup, ever since she was a filly.”

Briar mashed his face into his hooves. “By Luna’s unshorn fetlocks! My feelings aren’t one sided. I’ve tried my damnedest to get her to notice me. I buffed up, I styled my mane and I even took a vacation just to see her! I thought she didn’t care.”

“Mmnope, mah sister’s stubborn as a mule. Movin’ mountains is easier than getting’ her ta admit she’s got feelings fer somepony. Eeyup a mule.”

“Should I go see her? I must apologize!”

“Mmm not now. Come back in a day. She’ll have her senses gathered by then.”

Briar shook Mac’s hoof. “Oh thank you Mac you’ve been a real help. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

Mac chewed on his straw. “Take care.”

Molly teleported next to Mac. “Oh my, an interesting turn of events wouldn’t you say?”

“Eeyup.”

“I was convinced that AJ wasn’t interested in colts. But to find out that she’s been smitten with such a hunky stallion, OH HOW JUICY!”

“That’s how mah sister’s barn door swings. She’s been pinin’ ‘im fer years.”

“This is wonderful *squee*. At this rate I might be running Cadence out of a job. Say Mac why don’t we celebrate with some cider.”

Mac poured himself a mug and then passed one to Molly. They sat on their haunches watching a few birds fluttering around, Mac then proceeded to let out a big belch. Molly answered in kind.

“Ahhh life is good.”

“Eeyup.”

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The Blooming Lotus Hotel, Ponyville

Carrot and Trixie had made their way back to the hotel room and decided to order room service. Both of them had agreed that pizza was their best option. They found a very bored looking Aurora reading a comic book, smiling at them as they entered the room.

Trixie stomped her hoof. “Hey I thought you said you were sleepy, what gives?”

Aurora waved her claw. “I was but after my quick nap, I decided to do some light reading.”

“Oh no, don’t tell me you’re reading one of those stupid mangas again. Those things are for foals.”

“No they’re not! I’ll have you know that some of these are made for older audiences.”

Trixie scoffed. “Sure sure, keep telling yourself that Aurora. They’re still comic books and cartoons to me.”

Carrot looked at the book. “Huh this looks like one the books Spike likes to read.”

Aurora’s eyes sparkled. “Who’s Spike? Which ones has he read? Where does he live? I must meet him!”

“Oh he’s Dusk’s dragon assistant, he lives at the library.”

“There’s another dragon who reads? Oh my gosh that’s awesome. Most of the dragons I’ve come across are all dumb jerks, who just want to stir up trouble and horde treasure.”

Trixie laughed. “Yeah I tried to introduce her to one of the dragon clans near Las Pegasus, but she didn’t get along with them very well. But it was kind of funny though, they all thought she was cute so they fought over her.”

Aurora pouted. “I’m not some stupid hunk of gold to be fought over. And it was your fault that you thought I would like any of those dragons.”

Trixie winced. “I know, and I said I was sorry. But at least I helped you ward them off with my magic. I wanted the best for you Aurora, and I thought that maybe you could at least find some friends from your own species.”

Carrot cleared his throat. “Funny you should mention that. I remember Pinkie telling me about how Spike went to visit some dragons during the great migration. He had an eerily similar experience. Although the poor guy is infatuated with Fluttershy, but since he was raised by ponies can you blame him?”

Aurora gasped. “He likes ponies? I was raised by a pony as well, but I don’t find them attractive. I guess that’s because I’ve been in contact with more species than Spike.”

“Dusk did lead a rather sheltered life before he came to Ponyville. Plus it’s not as if there’s anyone other than ponies living in town. Maybe except for Zecora, but she’s very similar to a pony.”

Trixie ruffled Aurora’s crest. “I’m sure you and Spike will get along swimmingly. Who knows maybe you can change his mind about how cute dragons can be.”

“Yeah like how you and Carrot got along so well in the hot tubs…” Aurora whispered.

“That was an accident! It didn’t mean anything.”

“Oh ho so something did happen! I suspected that might happen if I let you two alone.”

Trixie shook her head. “You little scamp, I knew you weren’t tired!”

“I have my ways Trixie.”

“Hmmph well whatever, nothing happened. End of story.”

“But you’re blushing enough like something did.”

A stallion dressed in a bell-hop uniform knocked at the door, holding a white cardboard box. Carrot answered and gave the stallion his bits, along with a tip. He carried the box over to the table and opened it to find that the pizza was cheese with mushrooms and onions. One of his favorite flavors. How did Trixie know that?

Carrot nibbled on a slice. “Oh wow this is some good pizza. How did you know this was my favorite Trixie?”

“It is? I had no idea, the reason I ordered it was because I liked it.”

“Great minds think alike. Aurora, do you like pizza?”

Aurora looked at the pizza. “I eat pony food on occasion, but I prefer eating rocks and minerals. Pizza works for me, although I don’t get very much nutritional value out of it.”

Trixie continued to eat her pizza with ease, because eating anything was easy for unicorns. They had magic to levitate objects. Carrot however was not so lucky. He had to use his mouth or hooves to manipulate everything. At least pegasai had their dexterous wings, but poor earthponies got the short end of the stick. He sighed noticing that he had managed to get cheese and sauce all over his face. Trixie noticed this and giggled.

“Are you sure you don’t need a bib Carrot?”

Carrot rolled his eyes. “Har har, let’s see you eat pizza without magic.”

Trixie grinned. “That sounds like a challenge.”

The unicorn picked up the next piece of pizza with her hooves. The greasy slice nearly splattered onto the floor, due to Trixie’s lack of dexterity. She grabbed the slice with both hooves and devoured it, getting cheese and veggies all over her once clean muzzle. Both Carrot and Aurora started giggling and then both broke into bouts of full blown laughter. Trixie was mildly annoyed but joined in their merriment after a few seconds.

“Well now I’ve gone and made a mess. I’ll go grab a few napkins.”

Trixie trotted back to the table, levitating some napkins above her. Just as she was about to clean both Carrot and herself, Trixie slipped on an errant glob of cheese that had been loosened by her sloppy eating. She ran right into Carrot, locking her lips with his. And so they shared their pizza flavored first kiss.

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The Royal Bath Chamber, Canterlot Castle

Celestia sighed in relief as she sank deeper into the bath. It was a rather gaudy looking thing in her opinion with its solid gold exterior and silver trimmings. The faucet was even shaped like a pegasus with rubies for eyes. However, that did little to dismiss the fact that it was an absurdly comfortable bath. As princess she enjoyed the finest oils, shampoos, and salts bits could buy. She took full advantage of this, along with the many hoof maidens that attended to her every whim. Celestia dismissed the remaining attendant so that she could have some alone time, to help her think. Without a moment to spare a certain blue coated alicorn appeared next to her in the tub.

Celestia closed her eyes. “Greetings Lulu, you’re up early.”

“But of course Tia, I wanted to spend some quality time with my sister.”

“We both know that isn’t entirely the truth.”

Luna giggled. “Always the perceptive one, well yes I do have something I wish to discuss.”

Celestia played with a rubber duck. “I assume it must be the up-coming gala. I too wish to speak with you about it, so it is fortunate that you arrived when you did.”

“Sister, this may be a bit bold to ask but might we invite Molly to this year’s gathering?”

“I should have guessed. I’m probably going to regret this, but I will allow her to attend. It seems that Dusk has taken a liking to her, so it would be rude of me to exclude his mare-friend from attending. I’m still not very fond of their pairing…”

“Now, now Tia don’t be like that. You should be happy for your faithful student. He has finally started to learn about love. Besides with him being the object of Molly’s affection, she won’t go around raping your poor subjects.”

Celestia sank further into the tub, blowing bubbles. “I do not believe that it was ever her intention to rape anypony. She’s just…a bit of a tease. I’ll at least admit that much.”

“True, perhaps I jumped to that conclusion with too much haste.”

“So Lulu…how’s project Nightwing turning out?”

Luna rubbed her chin. “Captain Nightwing sent me a letter not but a day ago. He claims to be having a wonderful time with Rarity. With any luck they shall become steadfast lovers.”

“I certainly hope so, considering all of the heartache that stallion has been through. He deserves to have a decent mare by his side.”

“Tia I heard reports from the guards that there was a domestic disturbance in Ponyville regarding the Cakes. Is this true?”

Celestia nodded. “I’m afraid it is. From what I understand, Mrs. Cake was unfaithful to her husband. He is a kind-hearted stallion; I have much sympathy for him. Mrs. Cake ran off with her lover to Manehatten as I understand. She even left the foals. A pity.”

“Those poor foals…”

A servant entered the chamber, holding a scroll in his mouth. He looked at Celestia with a slight blush. “Oh greetings your highness, sorry to disturb your bath but I just got word that a Miss Vinyl Scratch is here to see you.”

Celestia waved her hoof. “Yes, send her in please.”

Vinyl entered the bathroom accompanied by two royal guards. Once Luna nodded they exited the room, shutting the door behind them. The DJ felt odd, not having her trusty signature goggles on. She quietly trotted up to the monarchs of Equestria, showing them a deep bow.

Celestia smiled. “There is no need for such formality here my subject. Come, join us in the bath.”

Vinyl blushed. “But…you’re naked!”

Luna cocked her head. “What nonsense are you spouting? Are we not always naked?”

“Oh yeah I guess so…sorry I’m not used to seeing you guys without the regalia.”

Celestia smiled. “I know this is a rather informal way of meeting you, but I needed to relax. I summoned you here because I would like you to be our official DJ for this year’s gala.”

“*Squee* Sweet, count me in!”

“I thought you might be interested. I usually book the Canterlot Philharmonic Orchestra, but I decided to spice up the gala this year. Most of the time it’s terribly dull.”

Vinyl laughed. “No kidding, that party could put foals to sleep! Although I did see this really hot mare one time…I think she was the lead cellist or something. I wonder if she’s gonna be there this year.”

Luna snickered. “I believe you must mean Octavia Philharmonica. Indeed, she is quite the cultured and beautiful mare. Although I am not certain of her sexual preferences.”

Vinyl’s ears flattened. “Oh…that might be a problem.”

“It is always better to try and fail, then to never try at all. But, we could always find out by invading her dreams.”

Celestia face-hoofed. “No, absolutely not. I will not have you invading the privacy of ponies’ dreams to satisfy your own curiosity. Vinyl will have to work up the courage to ask Octavia herself.”

Luna stuck her tongue out. “Oh Tia you’re no fun.”