The Heart Holds Grudges With Gravity
by Present Perfect

"Dagnabbit, Rarity, that is the last straw!" Applejack stomped, leaning down and snorting. "I've plum had it with you!"

Rarity sniffed, lifting her head away from Applejack. "I will apologize only for the timing of my statement, not for what I said."

Twilight's head swiveled back and forth between her two friends. She took a step forward. "Rarity... Applejack..."

A hoof on her shoulder stopped her. Looking back, she saw Rainbow Dash shake her head.

"Let them, Twilight," Rainbow said gravely. "This is an old argument. They... they've been fighting about this since before you met any of us."

Twilight felt tears sting the corners of her eyes. "But... I can't just sit here and watch my friends hurt each other..."

Fluttershy stepped forward. "Rainbow Dash is right. They need this, Twilight."

Twilight felt she had no choice but to watch, given the weight of her kindest friend's words. Applejack and Rarity had stepped toward each other, noses separated by mere inches.

"You ready to do this?" Applejack growled, eyes glinting.

"I've been ready," Rarity huffed.

Applejack tossed her head back. "Pinkie Pie!"

"On it, AJ!"

Pinkie appeared between them, carrying a blue and silver boom box. Setting it down, she popped it open and inserted a cassette. She pressed play, and the area was filled with a rapid bass beat that was quickly accompanied by a synthesized melody.

Applejack was first to react. She reared back, placing her forehooves on her hips, and shook them at Rarity. Rarity spun about and began to step backwards in time with the beat. Applejack tipped her hat brim over her eyes, her other hoof shooting skyward. The hoof began to pump up and down, also in time with the beat.

Twilight gasped. "I've read about this, but I never thought I'd actually see..."

"Shh." Rainbow Dash grinned. "It's just gettin' good."

Rarity stood, moving her shoulders back and forth and giving Applejack a smoldering pout. Applejack's hat whipped upward as she performed a backflip, then landed squarely on her head as she slid onto her back, curling up and spinning in a tight circle. Rarity shook her shoulders, stepping closer to Applejack, who finished her spin, posing on her side.

Fluttershy began to clap her hooves, smiling, and Rainbow Dash kept time with her left front. Even Twilight had to admit, her friends' moves were pretty fresh.

Rarity segued into a series of graceful leaps, posing her arms during each, while Applejack began to soft-shoe. The music hit a pause, and they both stopped, resuming precisely where they had left off after the beat picked up. The two mares performed a simultaneous flip, spinning on a forehoof and moving their hind legs in sync with the music.

Pinkie kept her eyes glued to a stopwatch, sweat pouring down her face. About the time Rarity began to Cabbage Patch, she yelled, "Time!" and the music cut out.

With laughter and smiles, Rarity and Applejack embraced in a tight, back-slapping hug, then wandered off, chatting amiably. Twilight gave her friends a confused look.

"Wait... that's it?"

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Twilight, I thought you said you'd read about this."

"Having a dance-off is just as a good as saying, 'Our problems are solved,'" Fluttershy explained.

This did not seem to sit well with Twilight, but she couldn't come up with an appropriate objection before Pinkie hopped over, carrying her boombox.

"C'mon, girls!" she cried. "We're gonna go get ice cream!"

The boombox transformed into a giant blue robot, who scooped the ponies up and flew off to get them ice cream.

Author's Notes:

9th-place finalist in the April 2013 Writeoff. If there was an April 2013 Writeoff. c.c The title is supposed to be a poop joke somehow.