Being a Derpy
Chapter 9: Chapter 8: Partay
Previous ChapterThank you to Whynot707, Vitaexdet, Torllin, and of course Pinkie Pie. And all of my readers! i love you all! Gimmieahug!
“OH MY GOSH I’M SORRY!” Pinkie picked up DP and Gem off of the ground. “I’ve been so busy cooking and decorating for your party I just didn’t see you.”
“Y-yeah it’s ok mom. How are you Gem?”
“Well my head hurts a little, buuut I’ll be ok!” She said perking up.
“Good I’m g-glad to hear it,” DP smiled at her.
“So,” Pinkie spoke up. “What pony wants to help cook and decorate?”
“Oh me, pick me Mrs. Pie!” Gem yelled jumping up and down.
“Now that’s what I like to hear, DP what about you?”
“Eh, I’ll just s-supervise.” DP walked over and grabbed a cupcake off of the counter and put it in his mouth. “Oh m-my gosh these a-are really g-good,” he tried saying with his mouth full.
“DP! Don’t eat those yet! Those are for the guest!” she barked out and somehow grabbed the cupcake in its entirety out of DPs’ mouth. “Now wait for your guests please, they should be here in about an hour. Why don’t you go help your dad with decorations, Gem and I will cook.”
“F-fine mother.”
“Great, now Gem go get a bowl out from under the sink please.”
“Yes Mrs. Pie.” Gem bounced to go retrieve the bowl. DP went into the front of the house/bakery where the sales counter was located and saw his dad struggling with streamers. They were constricting him like a python. As he struggled on the floor with the streamer python he turned and saw DP staring at him.
“DP save me, the beast is to much for me!” he yelled squirming with the streamers. DP walked over and pulled on one red streamer that caused all the streamers to unwind and set free Derpy. “Ah, thank you son…that was the battle of a life time, each side giving and taking in an epic tug of war of life and death. Yes my boy it was an epic nettle indeed… thank you for saving me.”
“Right… so you n-need help?”
“Yes, yes I do…Just hold this end while I fly up and tape these onto the wall please.” DP grabbed the end of the streamer and watched as his dad flew up taped the streamers to the wall. “Right, so how do they look so?”
“Fine…”
“Just fine? Not great, or amazing, or partyriffic?” Derpy frowned.
“W-WHOA DAD THEY L-LOOK AMAZING!”
“Oh come on you’re too kind.” Derpy smiled.
Should of went with the pink streamers, everything looks better in pink I mean party starts with p pink starts with p it’s like a sign from the Celestia that pink is the correct choice! Hey can you guess what my favorite color is huh? Guess, come on guess! Pink… Oh wow you’re good how about a harder question? What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow? …African or European? What? I don’t know th-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… Right, so let’s carry on.
"Hmm something tells me I should have gone with pink…”
“Dad… n-no.”
“Oh, okay it’s your party.” Derpy continued to hand the streamers around the room. Once he finished he flew down and gave DP a pat on the head and went outside to hang up more streamers. He failed to noticed that all the streamers in the room were angled down instead of going straight across. DP didn’t feel the need to tell him his mistake. DP sat there for a minute just listening to the all the sounds coming from the kitchen; the blender was going at full blast as well as bowls being moved with a heavy laugh. DP just smiled and grabbed some deflated balloons and started blowing.
“Gem, spatula.”
“Spatula!”
“Frosting.”
“Frosting!”
“Mmm sprinkles.”
“Mmm sprinkles!”
“Yes, yes my masterpiece is complete! Mwahahahahaha!”
“Uh Pinkie?”
“Yes Gem?”
“They are just cupcakes....”
“Yes, but cupcakes are the best thing ever! Well besides laughing, cake, pink, punch, parties, dancing, balloons, candy-“
“YES! I get it ha-ha. How long before the cupcakes are done?”
“Thanks for the help Gem!
“Oh, it’s no problem Mrs. Pie”
“Oh please call me Pinkie Pie! *snorts* no manners here! It’s a party!”
“You got it Pinkie Pie!”
“Now you’re getting it!” The two start dancing around the kitchen throwing confetti and frosting every which way. After blowing up his 50th balloon DP laid flat on the ground breathing heavily. He closed his eyes and just let his mind go. All of the sudden he got flash backs. He was back in the alley way with the two ponies hitting walking up and beating him. His eyes instantly opened.
“I remember!” He yelled out.
“What do you remember?” A familiar voice asked. DP turned to see Dashter standing thing with a perplex look on her face.
“Oh, umm… Nothing,” he smiled.
“You’re something else ha-ha.” Dashter walked over and gave him a hug and a light jab in his shoulder.
“You’re early.”
“What? Is it bad I came here early to help out? I guess I’ll just go home…”
“NO! Err I mean no. Don’t go, I have so many balloons and not nearly enough in me to blow them all up.”
“Hmm is that the only reason?” She got closer to DP.
“Um…” DP just started blushing. Before he could answer Gem bursted into the room and tackled Dashter.
“DASHY!” Gem yelled out hugging Dashter.
"Gem!” Dashter yelled back hugging Gem. The two fillies shared a warm embrace and then started talking at what seemed to DP 100 miles per hour. Sighing DP just went back to blowing up balloons hoping that he would pass out and not have to hear the constant chatter. After what seemed like 100 years, but was only 5 minutes the two fillies stopped talking and helped DP with the Balloons. After about 10 minutes they could hear yelling coming closer.
“This is the house, He said Sugar Cube Corner. And that there sign says Sugar Cube Corner you dolt!” yelled a female voice.
“Whatever! Let’s just go in I’m hungry.” Replied the male voice.
“Well hold the door open for me.”
“Now why in Equestria would I do that?
“Because, that’s what gentle colts do! Now hold open the door for me.”
“No, I’m going to be first. It will show DP how good of a friend I am.” The door opened up and the head of Apple Jam popped in. Before he could take a step in he suddenly face planted and got dragged outside. “No let go!” was the last they heard. A second later the door opened up and Applecake appeared inside while stuffing a lasso into her saddle bag.
“Howdy all,” she said tipping her hat.
“Welcome,” DP smiled.
“This looks like quite the hoedown.”
“What do you expect when Pinkie Pie is involved?” Laughed Dashter. Finally Apple Jam came in. His face was a little dirty and his eyes had a look of pure rage.
“If it wasn't for this being a party I’d teach you a lesson.”
“Oh is that so partner,” Applecake grabbed her lasso out of her bag. Apple Jam shrunk.
“No…”
“Thought so, now let’s party!”
“Did somepony say party?!” Pinkie burst through the door with a plate of cupcakes, a confetti launcher on her head, and she was pushing a giant canon into the room.
“Uh mom…w-what’s that?” a wide grin grew on Pinkies face.
“Oh this old thing…” Derpy who was behind the counter looked up from his paper
“Oh no, children run!” Derpy instantly flew out of the building and into Ponyville. Only Pinkie and the 5 ponies were left.
“So…w-what is that thing?” Pinkie slowly put down the plate of cupcakes and took off her confetti hat. She walked back slowly to the pink canon that as just sitting in the middle of the room. The Fillies and colts slowly backed up closer to the door.
“Well you can’t have a party without….A PARTY CANON!” Pinkie instantly shot the canon and a loud explosion occurred that echoed all around Ponyville. Back at Sugar Cube Corner the ponies we covered in streamers, confetti, and balloons. Pinkie just rolled around on the floor snorting and laughing. The fillies group of ponies just looked at each other in disbelief, but they too started laughing. Derpy though was still flying as fast as he could. Who knows where… After stuffing themselves full of cupcakes it was time to play a game.
“What do you p-ponies want to play?”
“Who stole the muffin!” yelled Gem.
“No, pin the tail on the pony,” replied Dashter.
“Those games aren’t any fun and involve no skill. Let’s play bobbing for apples,” said Apple Jam.
“Bobbing for apples? What are we eight? No let’s play rope the cow.” Applecake said hitting her brother.
“What’s Rope the cow?” asked Gem
“Well it’s where somepony is the cow and the other ponies are the wrangles. The object is to lasso the pony that is the cow. Whoever ropes the cow first gets to pick who the next cow is.”
“Hmm, that seems fun,” smiled Dashter.
“Who is going to be the first cow though?” Asked Apple Jam. He soon realized all eyes were on him. “Darn it…” Applecake gave everypony an extra lasso that she just so happened to bring with her.
“Now he gets a ten second head start. Also no magic and flying,” she said staring at Gem and Dashter.
“Whoa don’t look at me with those eyes. I don’t need to fly to win this!”
“Eh, I probably need magic, but I’ll abide by your rules.”
“Do any of us even know how to use a lasso?” asked DP. Gem and Dashter just stared at each other then back to DP and sunk their heads. “Yeah, I thought so.”
“Well that’s no worry it’s easy to learn…well it’s easy to learn enough to play this game. I can teach yall real quick.” With that the ponies went outside and started practicing with their lassos. After 30 minutes of some intense lasso training and a few mishaps of ponies lassoing passer biers the group finally was ready to play. "This is going to be a bit harder now that the moon is up.” Applecake said staring into the starlight night.
“Oh well let’s play!” Yelled Gem bouncing up and down.
“Okay, you ready Jam?”
“Yeah, yeah, let’s just get this over with.”
“Okay, I’ll count to ten and then we will all give chase. Now while I count we need to close our eyes to make it harder. Jam you are only allowed to go as far as Fluttershys’ cottage and the school. You got that?”
“Yes! Now let’s go!”
“Fine, One…two…three…” Apple Jam ran off towards the school as fast as he could. “Four…five…six…seven…eight….nine…TEN!” Dashter and Applecake Sprinted off towards Fluttershys’ cottage, while Gem bounced towards the school.
“Hurry up DP,” Gem yelled back to DP.
“Sigh, might as well t-try to enjoy myself.” DP galloped off towards the school.
“You aint gunna get to the cottage before me, without those wings yall just a slow earth pony.” Applecake called back the young rainbow pegasus who was having a hard time keeping up with the earth pony. Hearing that angered Dashter, and all of the sudden she started gaining ground on the earth pony. “What the?! Looks like I took you for granted.” Applecake tried improving her pace.
“You aren’t going to beat me! My moms the fastest Pegasus in all of Equestria!”
“Key word there is pegasus Sugarcube.”
“Grr… we’ll see” Dashter got angrier and started going even faster. She finally caught up with Applecake. They soon started shoving each other. “Hey knock that off!”
“Me? Yall started it,” she yelled shoving back. Soon the cottage was in sight the two fillies pushed even harder to get there before the other one. They got across the bridge and were almost there when all of the sudden a yellow mare was walking some ducks across the path. The yellow mare saw the two young ponies rushing towards her. She just shrieked and hid her head in her arms.
“Watch out!” Dashter quickly jumped and flew into the air to avoid collusion with the yellow mare.
“Excuse me Fluttershy.” Applecake jumped over Fluttershy and the duck and galloped towards the cottage. Dashter saw this and instantly flew fast to the cottage. Thanks to her wings Dashter beat Applecake by a split second.
“Ha I won!” Dashter smiled.
“…Yall cheated!”
“What? How?”
“You flew…”
“Oh, yeah…AHHH!” Dashter yelled.
“Wait we this wasn’t a race we were supposed to get Apple Jam.” Applecake looked around. “Hmm guess he went to the school.”
“Figures…By the way we’re racing again you can count on it.”
“Well I’ll look forward to it Dash. I can’t wait to beat you fair and square.”
“Yeah whatever, but for now let’s get back, I bet your brother already got caught.”
DP was trying to catch up to Gem, but she was bouncing at incredible speeds. A few ponies were still outside finishing up errands or closing up shops. DP soon ran by the alley where he was jumped. He looked down it and got chills. He finally caught up to Gem who had now cornered Apple Jam.
“Now we can do this the hard way or easy way Jam. What is it going to be?”
“Yall can’t catch me ya city slickers!” Apple Jam kicked up some dirt that hit Gem in the face.
“Ack! Cheater!’ Gem started yelling and her horn began to glow. Soon Gems lasso came to life and shot at Apple Jam.
“Hey yall can’t do that! That’s cheating!” The lasso roped itself around Jams legs.
“Well next time don’t kick dirt in my face.” Gem slowly walked up to the incapacitated Colt.
“No Gem, no need to cheat,” DP walked over to the two. He untied Jam who instantly ran off.
“…What did you do that for I had him?!”
“Yes, but what’s the fun in getting him with magic?
“The magic makes it like ten times more fun!”
“Opps,” DP just smiled and started running after Apple Jam. Gem sighed and joined the chase.
Gem and DP caught up to Applecake and Dashter who were both laying on the ground breathing heavily in front of Sugar Cube Corner.
“Where did he go?” Asked DP. The two tired ponies pointed to a pink mare that was giggling over a smaller pony that was tied up. “Mom?”
“Oh hi DP! Look I won, I won!” Pinkie jumped up and down with the biggest smile. “So, do I get to pick who to go after next? Because I choose all five of you!” Pinkie soon was holding 5 lassos spinning each one.
“Uh the g-game is over it’s late.”
“Yes um me and Apple Jam need to get back to the farm.”
“Oh, what’s that I here sweetie belle calling me!” Soon it was just Dashter and DP standing there.
“Aw fiddlesticks… Well I’m going to go clean up DP come get ready for bed.”
“Okay let m-me just say g-goodbye to Dashter.”
“Oki doki loki!” Pinkie bounced inside.
“That was a fun party DP,” Dashter smiled. She seemed to have got her wind back from all the running.
“Ha thanks.”
“So… that dance that combines all the pony schools is coming up…”
“Yup it is”
“…I bet it will be fun”
“Maybe, dances suck.”
“Ugh… no I would love to go to that dance.”
“Ha-ha lame!”
“Never mind DP, I need to go home I’ll see you later!” Dashter angrily flew off into the night sky. DP was confused at why she was so mad.
“Well t-that was weird.” DP slowly walked inside and went to bed.
DP YOU FOOL YOU FOOLISH FOOL! I don’t see what the problem is. You…What? SHE WANTED HIM TO ASK HER TO THE DANCE! IT EVEN SAYS SO IN THESE NOTES YOU WROTE! I have never seen those notes in my life! Men are hopeless goodbye! Well I never! Good day!