You were awake. Wait, no... you still felt asleep somehow. Like you were on that razor thin edge between conscious and unconscious, semi-aware of the events unfolding around you by sound alone but not being able to do anything about it. A weird experience, but certainly not an unpleasant one.

Slowly the darkness covering your eyes begins to brighten, troubling your vision as more and more light poured through, expelling the dark. And boy did it hurt like hell. The light was a searing pain of whiteness, scalding your eyeballs and sending spikes of pain directly to your head like someone was driving nails through your skull.

You winced, scrunching up your eyelids so no more of the dreaded light could pain you further. Though this did nothing to alleviate the budding headache that was threatening to bloom into a full on migraine. Damn, felt like you went through a month’s worth of booze in one night by the way you felt right now.

Which could explain why you weren’t in bed. No feel of a soft and fluffy mattress or cool sheets to point out your bed. Neither was there the all too familiar feel of a dingy couch with lumps in the seats either. At best, you could only guess you were sleeping on the floor. Thin carpet your only support. Damn, your neck is going to be killing you this morning for sure.

Gritting your teeth in preparation, you attempted to open one eye again, because you sure as hell weren’t going to be laying down with a headache all day. Seeing how your cornea didn’t bleed out right away, you opened the other and blinked a few times to clear your fuzzy vision. Yep, you could already tell your eyes would be more bloodshot than a crack addict's when you finally headed to a mirror to check.

What was really vexing you at the moment was how exactly you got on the floor with a bloody awful hangover in the first place? Like your usual drunken escapades, things were a little sketchy. Okay, you didn’t remember a blasted thing. Nothing at all from yesterday. Like the entire day was sucked out of your mind. Booze didn’t usually wipe your memory so clearly like that...

Ugh, what you really need is some help. Mainly, someone to tell you wherever the hell you are. And hopefully what happened last night. If your past nights were anything to indicate about your drunk state of being, you hoped desperately someone wasn’t videotaping you. You did not want to end up on YouTube again in the embarrassing viral video section.

Looking up above, you noticed the ceiling was purple. Well, that sure fucking helped you figure out where you were, didn’t it? Also, arguing with yourself wasn’t going to help either, so shut up and look around already.

Grunting, you finally managed to lift your head up, your neck feeling like it was made of rubber and your skull of really heavy steel. And what you just saw nearly made you lay your head back down again in surprise.

It was... a horse? No, too small. A pony maybe? Yeah, a pony. With an extremely weird coloring. I mean, sure, yellow fur might not be the strangest coat color a horse- no, pony, could have, but an orange mane and tail too? That looked suspiciously like a flame? Even stranger.

The small creature couldn’t have been taller than you waist, and was currently decked out in a maid’s outfit. Yes, a maid’s outfit; just like the stuff you see in spanish soap operas or animes. Fishnet stockings going up its legs and ending in frilly white lace and pink bows. A velvety blue dress ending shorty at its waist to give a bodacious view of its ass.

It looked pretty much like this.

Okay, you really had to stop calling it an it, because you were sure as hell at this point it was a she. A mare, to be more technical. A mare dressed in a suggestive maid’s outfit, currently dusting a shelf nearby, not even noticing your presence. Oh damn, how the hell did this happen?

Racking your brains, you remembered dimly of how you got hammered at a bar, went to the bathroom to take a piss, accidentally opened the door to the back alley, and... nothing. Just a muddly blackness after that. And now you were in a strange room with an even stranger mare. Yeah, totally normal.

And the normal just kept on coming, because you finally noticed she had wings. A motherfucking pegasus. Just great! Just flipping great! Not like things were any weirder, but now you had a frickin’ mythological creature right before you!

Okay... okay, just calm down. If you weren’t so slogged down from your hangover, you would be hyperventilating right now. Just look over your options, make the right choice, and hopefully you can get out of this situation without screwing up.

Though you had to admit, the way she wore that dress was quite fitting. It showed off the seductive curves of her sides, while the fishnet stockings pointed out her alluring legs. And did you even have to mention the fact that her ass was in full view, lusciously huge and just begging to be stared at?

Wait a second... could that be... it is. You had morning wood. Bulge in your pants and sudden warming of your groin area was a clear indication of it. Wow, like things weren’t going your way before, and now you had a frickin’ boner from a pony! Okay, pegasus, whatever.

Suddenly the mare looked over from her cleaning duties, staring with brilliant orange eyes right at you. To be more specific, at your cock, barely hidden under the thin material of your boxers and pants as it bulged upward like a mountain. She smiled invitingly at you, her feather duster handle held in her mouth in a very suggestive way as she fluttered her long lashes and giggled.

“Oh, so you’re awake. I thought you were going to sleep there for forever,” she said while holding the handle in her mouth. Your cheeks immediately blushed as you struggled to sit up. The fact she could talk didn’t seem to trouble you that much. Maybe it was the fact she was dressed like a maid and was a pegasus. Or that you were in so much pain from your hangover you barely noticed. Either one.

You managed to lift your torso up, and immediately regretted it. Your vision began to swim as you felt nausea hit you like a punch to the stomach. Swallowing spittle with your dry throat, you asked, “Ugh, where am I? And better yet, who are you?”

“Oh, I’m just Spitfire. Wonderbolt extraordinaire, and currently the maid around here,” she answered, still not bothering to turn around fully to face you. Almost as if she was showing off her ass to you. Nah, you were just jumping to conclusions.

“And where would here be? Because I sure as hell don’t remember any talking pagsuses... pegasusus... pegasies... whatever you fuck you call pegasus in the plural form from where I come from.” Damn, your hangover was dumbing down your intelligence more than usual.

She giggled, shaking her hips a little, your eyes instantly locking onto them. “Oh, you’re in Canterlot Castle, silly. Don’t you remember the conversation you had with the princess when you got here?”

“Conversation? Princess?” you muttered weakly, not getting what she meant.

She rolled her eyes, stamping her back hoof down in impatience. “When you arrived here, plastered, as I remember, you had a nice little chat with the princess.”

“Okay... okay,” you sighed, rubbing your forehead as you hoped your thoughts would finally clear up and the fog would clear of what happened last night. It didn’t. “And what did we chat about?”

“Oh, I didn’t get to hear it,” she answered back, giggling again and looking absolutely adorable, thin drool hanging down the feather duster handle she still held onto. This definitely got your attention as numerous perverted mental images rushed through your mind. “All I know is that Princess Celestia ordered me to wear this maid’s costume and take very special care of you when you awoke. So handsome, what’s your pleasure?”

So, what do you do now, handsome?

What the hell do you do?

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