My Little Forest

This is one adventure or sort of an adventure that was a little funny to me. For one thing, I never thought my friends and me would be in this type of situation. I don’t even think the Mane six even went through what I did. I mean, this was just so unexpected. So, where should I begin?

Well, it all started on a normal day, wait? What the fuck am I even saying? Nothing is normal in this town of Stalia.

I mean, an earth pony that is a god like being who breaks all laws of physics, that no one finds weird at all. Nor even notice it for that matter. Princess Molestia that comes to my room and molests Wolf and me. Dead bodies that no one gives a fuck about that are lying everywhere over town. A dragon that does crack. Celestia’s unstable mind that rather worries me about her. Slenderfetus. Randy fucking Newman with John Wayne that’s in a cave that’s in hell who doesn’t want to be awakened. Black wolf. In addition, a whole bunch of other shit that doesn’t make any much sense.

So, yea, moving on. So, Celesita, who I still fear she thinks I’m a Twilight, then again, we all ready had this discussion before, where I’m her new personal student and she treats me like Twilight and thinks I like books, which I don’t, whatever.

Therefore, Celestia wanted me to try to do a spell, even though she knows I can create my own magic very easily.

I mean, I even showed her I made my Timber wolf friend to talk that sounds like Brian from Family Guy and shit.

Well, she still wanted to see me do it, however she was busy, so she sends in the Twilight to come and examine me doing the spell.

It required Forest to spin around as fast as possible and make a tornado. Well, he did except since Forest is Forest fire, well, it’s a fire tornado.

Now that doesn’t make any sense, because you don’t see Dash making a fucking rainbow Tornado, but then again, Forest can do a sonic fireboom, which is like I said before, a sonic rainboom, but it’s with fire.

Well, he made a fire tornado, which keep in mind, killed 30 ponies lives, and no one gave a fuck about it. Well, he did it so fast, that I rather fucked up on my magic and sent Forest to back to my old universe, which was earth, as a five year old child.

Yes people, this is like My Little Dashie, except with Forest in it. Therefore, it would be called, My Little Forest. Of course, a human adopted him, so I’m going to give you his POV of the thing here.

How do I have his POV you might ask? Well, after I went to pick up Forest from Earth, I also stole his fucking diary, and that’s fucking right, his dairy.

Let us not get into that. Let us just say the person had some mental problems when he was a child.

Therefore, I just stole them from him and here it is.

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I have a life that fucking sucks. I live day-by-day, being criticized by people of being a Brony. Then again, I used to live in the hood.

I mean, the business were not very great, because people kept getting shot for not paying a black guy his money or being racists to him by offering some KFC someone had and that person was feeling mighty generous and offered some.

Yea, why did I live in the hood? Well, it is because of my parents. My parents were black people and well, they treated me like shit. Moreover, I mean that by latterly. They used to try to flush me down the toilet and shit.

They also did crack and shit. In addition, these black people weren’t even my real parents.

Apparently, my real parents were white and gave me up.

They just left me on the doorstep of those black people, and only gave a note, that read, ‘you can sell this white for crack. We do not want him and we thought you black creatures would enjoy beating the shit out of him. Signed, Ted Turner.’

I still don’t know who this Ted Turner is.

From what I’ve heard, he’s a rich white guy and I tried to find him once, but he keeps sending assassin’s to kill me. Therefore, I don’t think he wants me to be his son.

In addition, apparently I have herpes, because Ted Turner fucked a hooker and the hooker sued him in court, and the child was his.

Therefore, what happened to my black family was that my black parents died. How?

They died from being black apparently. The hood doctor never explained to me what that even means, but he told me I wouldn’t understand, because I wasn’t a native to the hood. I also had three siblings, which were one sister and two brothers.

When my black family died, they gave all the inheritance to those three and left me nothing.

The sister and the brother died of a crack overdose, right after they found out their inheritance was crack. They died over 100 tons of it.

The other brother actually disappeared. I don’t know where to, but he just disappeared one day.

MEANWHILE IN OZ HOOD… in a Morgan Freeman Voice……

The brother that disappeared from the weird black family disappeared into what is known as OZ. He had a pet gun, named glock glock.

He had made a friends with a ho, a crack dealer, and a pimp. He was skipping along the yellow brick road, along with his new friends and pet gun, while singing, “We’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of the Hood.”

apparently, this is a fucking racist version Wizard of OZ. You can clearly tell, a white guy came up with this.

However, as the black person and his friends were singing the wonderful tune of happiness, an evil villain known as Dick Chaney was plotting his attack against the group, with his Swat team and their fancy white people helicopters.

Dick was staring into a pot of green white people shit, and had a villainous face and said, “I’ll get you yet hoodlums! And when I do, I shall make you pay double the taxes! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA,” he said with a villain laugh.

He then look towards the swat team and said, “go!! Go my pretties!! Go and capture those black people from the hood!” as he said that, the swat team at his disposal went into their helicopters to go and get those that Dick wished for.

As they were doing that, the classic non-racist OZ song played whenever the flying fucks went to attack.

Sorry, flying monkeys. I had not realized I was under white people rule and trying to be PC about everything. Well fuck you white people. I am fucking Morgan Freeman and I can do whatever the fuck I want. I’m god Bitch!

BACK TO THE STORY…………

Well, then the lawyers didn’t know what to do, so they decided to give it all to me, even though I wasn’t in my black parent’s will.

However, ever since those lawyers gave me my shit, my black parent’s ghosts were extremely pissed off by this, and went to haunt the lawyers. So, I inherited the house and had a job of something.

I never really knew what job I had. in fact, I don’t know what I do every day. I mean, I know I have a shitty paying job, but I don’t know what I do.

Well, I was a Brony and I always watched MLP on my computer. I always wanted a pony from MLP universe, or perhaps go to it, but I know that won’t happen, because if I ever do, Hasbro will sue my ass.

Latterly, it has been quite some time ever since the end of Season 4 and people going on message boards that doesn’t have a life and complaining about Alircorn Twilight and doing cocaine, which I was sadly apart of.

However, ever since after that, Hasbro had located every Brony that is out there and put security cameras in their houses and pretty much everything that they own. They even put a tracking device on them, just in case they ever find a way to go to the MLP universe, so if someone does, they can sue them for not filing out the proper paper work of using MLP.

That doesn’t even make any sense, but it somehow exits. Of course, you must wonder if the president has anything to do with this, or even allowed this.

Well, it wasn’t Obama, because this happened after 2016 and sadly, and I know I’m being a little racists here, but fuck it, sadly, it wasn’t the black guys fault.

Instead, America elected the first Retard into the White House. We thought it would be somehow a good idea and all, since his vice president was going to do all the shit, but unfortunately, he was Canadian and was disapproved by the American people, because he ate Canadian bacon and not American bacon.

Therefore, he was killed and the retard president was left in charge and does nothing but sits in his office, looking straightforward and nothing else.

Well, fortunately for me, somehow Hasbro forgot me and didn’t put a tracking device on me. Nor do they have any security cameras in my home, so I can do whatever I want with MLP, but I had a feeling at the time, that they were watching me, because every night, when I went to bed, I could see a person outside my window with night vision goggles on, that says, Hasbro on it.

Whenever I go to look outside, the person hides in the bushes and when I go near the bush, which strangely enough has George W. Bush in it as well. Well, when I go near it, I hear voice from it, and that voice always says, “There’s, nobody here. There is defiantly no Hasbro in these here bushes.”

Then Bush would say, “Yup. Defiantly not some person from Hasbro that’s spying on you to make sure you’re not doing anything MLP related, other then watching the show. And its defiantly not Former president Bush that basically ruined the country that’s doing cocaine now and has Dick Chaney in the Wizard of the Hood.”

Somehow, I believed the talking bush.

So, one day, I was walking back home from my job that doesn’t exists but somehow I get paid, I walked my usual route. It was the normal, car chase on the road, while there was a gang shoot out as I was walking, and a guy coming up to me, asking if I wanted crack, and a illegal Mexican that asks me if he could work for me for a nickel, while being mugged at the same time. Yup, that’s what was my usual routing walk from my job every day.

Well, today, none of those things happened. However, in the hood, it was national hood day, where everybody came together and joined hand -in- hand and had peace and were friends for once, while doing crack.

Therefore, everyone was at home and I was walking back home, when I came across a strange box. It had written on the side of the box, “a box filled with unborn fetus.”

For some reason though, I had a strange feeling it had an unborn fetus that was called slenderfetus and was from the MLP universe. I don’t know why I had thought that, but I did.

I quickly rushed over to the box, hoping to sell the unborn fetuses on EBay. I know it’s wrong, but times are tough in the hood, and I have to have some sort of money or income.

I rushed over to the box, I found nothing in the box that had to deal with unborn fetuses, and I was disappointed and kicked the box.

However, when I did so, I heard a cute little noise from the box.

When I took a second look inside, I had found the most amazing thing. It was an animated pony. He had a red coat, with a fire like mane color and he was a colt.

He was a small little boy that was a pony. He also looked like he belonged from MLP.

When I looked inside, it was looking down at the bottom of the box, possibly not knowing where it was at, and it then slowly looked up at me, with his big bright blue eyes.

He looked at me, as if he knew me. I slowly put my hand inside and it nuzzled my hand and hugged it, as if he thought I was his father.

He then had a little smile on his face, curled up right next to my warm hand, closed his eyes, and fell asleep.

He was so cute looking, that I slowly picked him up from the box and said these very words, “maybe you will go for a few hundred bucks on EBay. Let’s go you little fucker.”

I then started walking back home and looked down at him, to see if he was alright, because I couldn’t help but look at his cuteness. Well, I looked down and saw him shivering from the cold.

He then looked at me and almost as if, he wanted to cry. So I took my jacket and wrapped him up with it and told him, “Don’t want you die or you will be worthless on EBay now. Don’t worry little guy, I’m sure whoever buys you, it will be a sick fat basturad who will mistreat you.”

I then walk inside my house and turned on the little light that I had. I walked by a picture of my only friend in the world, Robin Williams.

I then said to the picture, “I’m back Robin. And I found something that I can sell on EBay so I can keep this house and continue to have the picture of you.”

I then walked to my computer and logged into my EBay account, and I had over a thousand bids on my previous set of unborn fetuses. The highest bid that I got was eight hundred bucks.

I was about to make another item for sale, which was the little colt that I had right next to me, until I stopped and looked down at him. He was so cute, I decided to not to sell him.

He was all wrapped up in my coat and I quickly took the coat away from him and said, “Get away from my coat you little fucker!”

then as I took my coat back he climbed into my lap and curled up and continued to sleep. I then realized that he too was my friend, along with Robin Williams.

I then gently petted him and said, “I guess I should give you a name little guy. You look like a Forest. Forest Fire. That will be your name, my son.”

I realized that if the ponies took him back, I was possibly going to be beaten up by them, because I just abducted a child. Then again, I didn’t give a fuck.

I then went to the living room, which strangely still had my brother and sister still on it. The authorities never took the dead bodies or anything. They just left them there.

I sat on the only spot on the couch and gently petted Forest and watched as how cute he was as he fell asleep. I could not help but cry. I then said to the two bodies next to me, “Look brother and sister. I have a son.”

Then my dead brother’s body came to life and said, “No one gives a fuck you white son of a bitch!”

Then he went back to being dead.

I found that normal, because that happened several times, but it was because my brother and sister casted a spell on them from the book of the dead, they can still be alive, even after death from time to time.

I then sat there on the couch, cried a little, and hold my Forest until I fell asleep. I couldn’t go and sleep in a bed because I didn’t have a bed.

After a few weeks of having Forest, it was a little hard at raising a son of my own. He was a little fucker all right. He broke the rules, and took shits on my blood stained carpet and other shit.

Therefore, I just punished him by whipping him from time to time, with a whip that I found next to a dead hooker once. It had a little blood and semen on it, but it was fine.

Forest even learned to talk, and his first word to me as I was walking by him and said hi to him was, “fuck you daddy.”

Apparently, Forest had learned to talk from a children show on the small TV I had, that he was watching the hood network was a little show called 123 Sesame Hood.

When he said those words in a cute little voice, I had a smile on my face and said, “you an asshole aren’t you son. Keep it up, and I’ll put you down in my backyard.” I said that in a happy tone just to make it clear to you.

After I had said that, Forest somehow drew a picture of a middle finger, showed it to me, spited on me, and left to play with his gun that I had brought him to play with as a toy.

I had brought him the gun from some pedophile that always asked me if any of his kids went inside my house.

I sometimes had sometime to play with my son, to which I took him to the park.

I didn’t have to be sneaky about hiding him, because no one in the hood went to the park. Nor was the path even occupied by some drug dealer. It was free for Forest and me.

I tried sometimes to teach him how to fly and by throwing him off from a tall tree. The first few times, he failed at it, broke some bones, and punished him for not flying correctly.

However, he did a few times, glided, and I was a little proud of him.

He asked me if he could have a cake or bake a cake to celebrate, since I never celebrated any of his birthdays at all, to which I said, “no you little fucker.”

However, one day, he flew. He flew to the clouds and I was so happy for him. I even cried that my son could fly and he did a few tricks in the air, came back to me, and asked me if we could now celebrate.

I had said to him, “we can’t have any cake since I don’t have an oven. But I can take you to the gun store and you can pick out one gun from the local hood gun store.”

He was so happy and was jumping up and down with pure joy in his heart. I knew guns were expansive, but I got lucky with a box of unborn fetuses that I sold on EBay and I decided to spend it on Forest.

I took him to the local hood gun store, and the black person behind the counter who looks like a tough guy and that had beat his wife to a bloody pulp and was doing crack greeted us with joy.

He also did do all of those things that I had mentioned. He was a nice person.

He had greeted us with, “hello sir, and a good day to you random Technicolor pony that can somehow talk and I don’t question about it. What can I do for you fine gentleman today? I have plenty of guns to choose from. I have one gun, two guns. I have an old gun, new guns. I have a red gun, a blue gun. I have gun for kids that just want o have fun with. I have guns that make puns. I have guns that shoot through the lungs easily. I even have guns to shoot some muns, even though it’s against the hood law to kill such a endangered creature in the good. I even have gun for buns or your bottom buns. I have plenty of guns to kill some cunts. I even have guns for duns and luns and nuns and zuns and wuns and kuns.”

I then said to him, “are you making up rhyme words to sound like Dr. Seuss?”

he then said to me, “yes I am good sir. Yes I am. So, what will it be today?”

Forest looked at the guns with curiosity and pointed out a shotgun, but I told him it was too expansive but he settled down with a merely AK-47.

I paid the person and Forest had his new gun. In the hood, Gun laws didn’t matter.

When we had gone home, Forest was so happy he had his gun and played with it in the backyard.

After a few days of Forest flying in the park, Forest finally did it. He did something he called the sonic Fireboom, which was a like a sonic Rainboom, but with fire instead of rainbows.

He had burn the clouds and when he did the sonic Fireboom, it was like a shockwave.

It had destroyed some cars and broke windows and eventually the entire population in the hood was after me for destroying their stuff, but Forest was still doing the sonic Fireboom and set them on fire instead. I was lucky that no police was around to arrest me.

After a while, I had gotten word, that a business called Hasbro wanted to destroy the hood and build a factory, were they will hide illegal Asian to build toys for them and provide some American jobs, so when the government is ever suspicious of them, they will have some American workers that do absolutely nothing at all. I thought it was a great idea, especially for the economy, but it would require for Forest and me to move.

Fortunately for me, I had helped out a cartel get some drugs into America, by saying to the cops that the drugs weren’t drugs, but were drugs drugs. They had brought it and they let the drugs go into America. The cartel was thankful for me helping them out; they gave me a lot of money, a better job to work with them, and a house that they recently killed a person in that once worked for them.

It was a house in the countryside, with no cities, nor houses within miles away. I thought I it would have been great for Forest, so he could fly whenever he wants to.

We moved in, and the dead body was there on the floor with a bloodstained carpet, and told Forest, “Look son. You have a new friend to play with now.”

Forest looked at me weirdly, but took the dead body to his room and played with it for a while, but then lit the body on fire, so it was all but of a burned corpse in his room.

The house even came with cable and I was happy, because that meant forest could even learn more words. In addition, the more words that he knows and talks to me with, the more of a chance that I can put him down outside.

With the fields, well, they were not exactly fields, but a farm. Apparently, this was a farm and I had a responsibility of farming the fields. Therefore, I forced my son to do it, and whipped him to plow the fields and do other farming shit.

One day, my son was watching MLP and I just got back from my job from the cartel, which was testing out drugs and make sure they wouldn’t harm the customers. Forest was watching the show and had noticed that I had came in.

He then looked at me, with sad eyes.

He then asked me, “Is that where I’m from? Am I from that TV show?” he even had a little sadness in his voice.

I then said to him, “I’ll tell you when you’re older.”

He then said to me, “I am from a cartoon world!”

He then cried and busted through my ceiling and I yelled at him and said, “Forest! Come back here right now and fix that roof! Or you will be in serious trouble young Stallion!”

He didn’t come back, and I was ready with the daddy no-no teaser that I used against him whenever he was bad.

I was fine without him for a while, until the third day when he was gone, I looked at a picture that my dead brother’s body had taken when he was drunk and it was picture of Forest and me.; I even had a smile in that picture.

I then cried and went outside to the forest that was in my backyard and went to look for him. I called out his name, but I didn’t get a response.

I eventually gave up and sat underneath a tree and said, “I’m sorry Forest. I am so sorry. I promise, you do not have to fix the roof Forest. I hope you went back to your MLP world, where you belong at, where you don’t have to fix roofs, then again, I have no idea what you do, since you’re not a pony from the show, nor you are that one Alicorn from the show that is a little colt like you are. I’m so sorry forest.”

I cried while saying those words, and I heard a noise in front of me.

It was Forest and he had said, he was sorry too and, “I love you dad. I forgive you for not telling me who I am.”

I then gestured for me and him to have a hug, and he had said, “Actually. I think I just want to stay out here. I mean, I found a nice pedophile that’s willing to take me in and I found a job that I can do that involves being a CEO of Hasbro.”

I then took out my teaser and he came into my hug, while being scared at me at the same time. I also discovered he had a cuiti mark, which were a fire symbol and a cloud.

I looked at him with pure joy in my heart and he said he had that for years and I never noticed it. I then told him that I was so glad to have him back and he had his cuiti mark for years, that I told him we were going to bake a cake.

We did and we were awful cooks but we were still happy with the shitty cake that we got as a result from the bad cooking skills that we had.

It was five years later, when I finally noticed my son was getting quite old. I took a look at him and I estimated that he was twenty years old and Forest agreed with that age and I quickly ran up to some guy that was driving by my home and took whatever he had.

This was just tickets and gave it to Forest as a gift for him. The tickets were for an air show and I knew how much Forest liked fast shit and flying. I told him he could sit on the cloud and watch the air show.

Then I said no to that idea, because I realized that the planes would notice him, but he could still fly and see the air show. We were quite confused on what to do.

It was the day of the air show and I was getting ready for it, while my son played with the dead body in his room, when I heard a knock on my door.

I asked who was it and it was a familiar voice.

I opened my door and Princess Celestia and Twilight was there. Along with five other ponies that I don’t know existed in the show, but looked like they were part of some group of elements.

I then offered them to come in, with a gun ready at the hand, because I didn’t want them to take my Forest away from me, but something told me to put the gun down and give love and tolerance to them. And………..

(BACK TO THE KNIGHT)

Ok ok ok… you get the fucking point. Now let’s move on. Oh and when that person meant he had felt something, which was me, telling him to follow the Brony code.

The mind-alternating trick. Always works.

Well, I’m just going to take over here now and finish up the story. Therefore, what happened was that Celestia wanted to talk to the human and see if she can get one of her citizens back, that and get the other elements group member back.

You know, since me and my other friends’ were a part of some other element s that I still don’t know what the fuck we represent and shit.

While she was about to talk, my friend Neon said, “I’m hungry. I feel like eating a dead body.” Then the person said, “well, the cartel dropped off a dead body right next to my house, you can have it if you want.”

Then Neon teleported outside and Mac then said, “maybe I can find and take something off of the dead body. I can perhaps sell something back home.”

He had said that with his southern accent as always and rushed out the door to go and confiscate the items from the dead body.

Twilight looked at me with a confused look on her face and I had told her, “don’t ask. Ok. I’m just surprised you haven’t even seen what else they do when you’re not in town.”

Then Twilight changed the subject and had a love look on her face and said, “you know Knight. After we get Forest back, you could come over to my house and we could…. Spend some time together.”

I rather wanted to punch Twilight right there. I mean, I know she has a crush on me, but I wasn’t a fucking clopper, then again, Molestia Molests me sometimes, so I guess I am, but still.

Celestia was talking to the human, and I joined the conversation, by saying to Celestia and Twilight, “listen. How about this. You two go outside, while we handle this. Besides, Forest is my friend, and I need to get him back by myself, and with my friends.”

They then agreed to, but were a little worried for me and not successfully achieving of getting Forest back. After Celestia and Twilight had left, Neon had teleported back into the room, along with Mac.

Neon had a little bit of blood on his lips, while Mac had a lot of gold and silver on him. Along with rubies, I should mention.

I then told Jack to talk to the human, while I did something. Oh, and Forest had came down from his room and was starting to cry a little bit.

I almost wanted to cry as well a little bit.

I mean, I wanted to handle this myself, because I knew of MLD and I did not want to cry myself.

Therefore, since I did not want to cry, I went around the house, grabbing something, while Jack tried to talk the human out of keeping Forest and giving him back to us.

While he was doing that, I grabbed a teaser and a nickel, destroyed the phone, and grabbed a golf club.

I then quietly went behind the human, used my levitation spell, and slowly lifted the golf club. I then did some practice swings, and after that, I broke the person’s legs.

I kept whacking his legs with the club until he was bleeding and could not walk anymore. Of course, he would be screaming, but Neon helped by covering his mouth so he couldn’t draw attention to the princesses.

I then went up to Forest who was just standing there with a shocked expression on his face, with the teaser.

I turned it on, and Forest said aloud, “No! Not Daddy’s no-no Teaser!”

I then knocked him out from the teaser and dragged his body along the floor.

On me and my friend’s way out, I gave the person a nickel and said, “Here’s a nickel for your troubles. Oh, and before I forget, I destroyed the phone, so you can’t call for help. In addition, Forest is not twenty years old, he is twenty-three. Badaboom doucebag!”

we then went outside to join the princesses, while dragging Forest’s body.

Celestia had asked, “So. Did the human take it well?”

I then said to her, “oh yea. He did. He did very well. He said his good byes and thanked us for giving him so much years of happiness and let him go very easily without putting up a fight, nor crying. He also sends the bests for us. So let’s go.”

Then Celestia said as she was powering up her magic, “what I nice human. I must admit, that I thought your friend was going to be doomed here, but I guess he had shown us that not all humans are bad.”

We then teleported back home. I just don’t know whatever happened to that human guy at all.

BACK ON EARTH………. IN A MORGAN FREEMAN VOICE…………………

The Human guy, who somehow does not have a name in this story, possibly because he’s white, was laying on his blood stained carpet in the living room of the house that was given to him by the cartel. He laid there, almost lifeless, wondering where his son went, and who was that pony that sounded like a white guy went to.

He then heard my amazing black guy narrating voice, and had a confused look on his face.

He then said aloud, while looking at the ceiling, “Morgan Freeman? Are you narrating this?”

He had said that like he was a retarded fucker, and said, “I’m not a retarded fucker, you black guy that’s a fucking asshole!”

He had interrupted my narrating, and I then said to him, “oh, all of you white people are just fucking dumbasses. You are interrupting my beautiful narrating. You’re a mother fucker that can suck my dick you son of a white uncle fucking asshole bitch. Do you know who you fucking talking to!! I am mother fucking Morgan Freeman, and I’m god, pimping out with Jesus in heaven. So fuck you!”

I then set his house on fire, and him on fire, and he screamed throughout the night, as he was on fire. While he was on fire, he was crying from the pain when he tried to walk, for his legs were broken by some pony that was an asshole, since he sounded like a white guy.

Therefore, the fire burned through the night, and far from, the house stood a hill.

On the hill, stood three Muslims that were Christians and looked upon the dim light of the fire in the distance.

One of them said, “Look. It’s god’s sign. The shining light that god had given us. Perhaps someone near the shining light has a person who has gold, so we can give it to Robin Williams’ child.”

Then three modern wise man walked towards the guy that was on fire, as they looked up at the night sky, thanking me, god, and Jesus for showing them the way.

Now the moral of the story kids, is do not piss off Morgan Freeman, or he’ll burn your house down and send three Muslims to help you.THE END mother fuckers.