“I am sorry,” he says. “There is not eight of me. Horseplace is the land of ninja-ponies, but spiders are not ponies, so I could not use my ninja-pony powers. I seem to have gotten ferried away.”

With a wave of his hoof, seven of him are poofed.

“Oh, okay, that makes sense,” you reply, having hopelessly fallen for him. For who could resist the life of awesome that would be happening from marrying a charming ninja-pony prince?

He takes you back to his secret village where you are secretly wed and secretly trained in the arts of ninja-pony. You also secretly acquire your ninjaing cutie mark. In fact, it is so secret, there can be no perceiving it.

You live a happy life of ninjaing and other ninja stuff until one day the stock market crashes and takes all of Prince Horseplace’s investments with it. But it’s all well because you use your ninja powers to rob a bank.

VICTORY!