When I awoke I was in a small cell that overlooked a long hall that led to a door. There was another path that was right next to my cell that led the complete opposite direction. Perfect, now I can spend the rest of my natural life making license plates here; oh wait no I can’t because I’m not in a real jail, I’m in a jail in Equestria’s capital.

I turned around to look at my new home, it was very small and there was a small cot on one wall furthest away from me. On the bed was my knapsack. I don’t even remember having that with me today. Well, I can’t really remember much of what I did this morning besides the Mack truck sending me through a Wilson Farm’s. Funny how much you forget after your head bounces off about ten hard surfaces.

To be honest I thought that since I did have my knapsack, they would take it away for evidence. My laptop was in there, if they took it away they would find out a little too much of the real world. I walked over to my bag and opened it; everything that I normally take to school was still in it, even my laptop. Thank god.

I sat down on the edge of my cot and looked towards the cell door. I sat there for a good long three hours before I started to get an idea. I have to get out of here, maybe if I can get to Ponyville I can get someone to listen to why I am here; because these ponies or the princesses sure don’t seem that interested in talking to me.

It’s settled then; I try to make a break for it. I walked to my cell door and peered around the walls outside it, sure enough there was a set of keys right next to my cell door on the wall. Apparently every jail is like one off of a crappy sitcom, oh well I am not going to complain. I went back over to my bed and got out one of my pens from my bag and walked back over to the door.

I reached my arm out and tried to grab ahold of the key ring with my pen. Ugh, come on you stupid little key, get on my pen! The pen slipped out of my hand and landed on the ground before sliding across the floor away from me. “ARRRGGHH!” I yelled as I hit my head on one of the bars on the door. I should have been nice to the key, you have to finesse it, make it want to go with you.

Good thing I have another pen. I walked back over to my bag grabbed another pen. I walked angrily back over to the door for attempt #2. I repeated what I did the first time with my pen, only this time I tried being nice to the key ring. “Please get onto my pen; I want to get out of here. I want to go try to get someone who will listen to why I am here.” The key started to slide onto the pen, but my fingers got sweaty and I dropped the second pen on the floor and it rolled into the center of the hall. Geez, I feel like I am playing monopoly and I am constantly getting the go directly to jail card.

I threw my hands up into the air and stomped my way back to my bag for my last pencil. I walked back still sulking over the loss of two of my pens. I reached out with my arm for the last time; I’m not going to think about anything when I do it this time. The key ring slid onto my pencil with ease, I pulled the key into the cell and looked at it like it was the Holy Grail. Then I proceeded to get my belongings together.

After a few moments of getting my thoughts together I put my bag around my shoulder and walked back to the cell door. I looked down both hallways. Good, let’s get this show on the road. I reached around to the keyhole and put the key inside. I got nervous and looked down the halls again, still clear. I turned the key and opened the door as quietly as I could. The only problem with that being the door creaked loud enough to wake the dead. Oh crap, please don’t let my escape be a horrible idea.

I walked into the hall and looked down my two choice exits. I tiptoed my way up the first corridor. I made it to the door and put my ear to it. No sound met my ear. “Good, maybe I can get out through here.” I opened the door and was met by my newest worst fear. “Holy sweet mother of god!” I whisper screamed, yes I invented a new way to express fear…what are you gonna do about it.

The room in front of me was full of sleeping guards on cots. Nope, I don’t feel like dying a second time thank you. I shut the door as quietly as I had opened it and turned around. I walked quietly back to the beginning of the other hall with an ‘I’m scared shitless’ look plastered on my face.

It was funny how I was the only one in the jail. As I walked I looked at all of the other cells, which were completely void of inmates. I made it to the other door, which was a little bigger than the other one. I put my ear to the door just as I did to the other one, still no noise. Please be an empty room, or a door that leads outside, I need some good luck for a change. I cracked the door and peered my head around it. It was outside at least; I was looking out the door and at an extremely large brick wall. I took a step outside and looked around. Well, I am outside at least, and there is only one way to go. I began to walk down the length of the wall; I could see a large gate in the distance.

My face lit up as I thought about almost being free. I smiled widely and heard *Squee* from seemingly out of nowhere. At first I thought I was crazy until I reenacted what I did again and heard the same exact sound *Squee*. My brain turned to a gelatinous blob at hearing the sound, most likely from me thinking it was the best thing since sliced bread.

I continued to walk down the grassy alley way, repeatedly making the sound. “This is amazing!” I said to myself as I walked. I made it to the end of the alley and say the gate in front of me. “I made it!” I said aloud happily. I didn’t even realize it, but I made the sound again.

Shouldn’t have spoken so soon. Nope that was a horrible idea on my part. I had alerted a small group of guards when I was overcome with joy. My mind had just recovered from the large amount of stupid it had received earlier. Run, do it now.

I listened to my brain and started to make a break for the gate. I ran as fast as I could and from behind me I could hear “Stop, criminal scum”. Ha, if I wasn’t scared shitless right now of being caught and beaten to a pulp, I would have stopped and laughed at the video game reference. Oh well back to running for my life.

I ran through the open gate and down the stairs outside the gate, the guards still eagerly chasing me. As I now sprinted through the not so crowded streets of Canterlot I looked at all of the ponies that I ran past. Some of them looked at me with horror, others with surprise. Great, now if I am ever welcomed here I will be known as ‘the freak that ran from guards through Canterlot; perfect. I continued to hear shouts from the guards that were behind me. Ok, it’s time to lose them for good.

I turned down a side street and saw a stand with some boxes stacked up near it. Perfect. I ran over to the stand and hid under one of the boxes after I dumped the contents into a nearby well. And now I wait.

After a few moments of sitting in silence I heard the heavy hoof beats of the guards getting close. I listened in to what they were saying “The monster went this way” one guard said. “Yeah but its trail stops here, where could it have gone” another voice said. “I don’t know but let’s go down this alley way here; maybe we will see the monster.”

A mixture of anger and well, more anger hit me like the Mack truck did before I died. They think I’m a monster? Well, I have written stories that you could say have been written by a monster, but I am no monster. I am a nice man, with happy feelings all of the time.

After I heard their voices die off and their hoof beats fade into the distance, I got out from my box hideout. Ok, now maybe I can get out of here before anything else goes horribly wrong. I got out from under my box and immediately regretted what I just thought of moments ago. I was hit in the face with a purse.

I grabbed my cheek and looked at what could have done that. Of course. In front of me was a light brown pony with a bright blue mane, she was looking at me with pure fear. “Don’t be afraid, I won’t hurt you” I said to the pony, trying to calm her down. She looked at me and then turned around and fled around the corner. I am going to have to explain everything about me if I get to Ponyville, that way I can at least hope that everypony here will be less afraid of me.

I didn’t want to be in this town anymore. I didn’t care if any of the ponies saw me, I ran as fast as I could through the streets trying to find the cities entrance. After what felt like endless running and detours I finally found the entrance. Oh thank god, anymore running and I was going to fall over and wait for guards to come just to take me back to my bed in jail.

I left the city of Canterlot and started to make my way back the way I came from. Ok, so here are my options:

1. Get to the outskirts of Ponyville (if I even find it and get Fluttershy to help)
2. Try to go straight into Ponyville and talk to Twilight on the matter (probably not, seeing as she will probably get suspicious and send letters upon letters to the princess about me)
3. Go off on my own and live under a rock somewhere (hopefully I don’t have to do this one)

I walked down the dirt road and I began to feel a little better. Yay! I am a fugitive now! Wouldn’t my mommy be proud? Not a chance in the world.

I walked for about five hours before I started to see something in the distance. It was turning to dusk, so I couldn’t really tell what it was yet; but one thing was for certain it was a building. I got a little closer and deduced it was a windmill. I went deep into my memories of the show and remembered that the town indeed did have a windmill. Ok, I guess I’m on the outside of Ponyville, now I need to go and find Fluttershy. I just hope that she doesn’t faint on me or something.

Onward to yet more events that will probably backfire on me later on. *Squee*

Next Chapter: 3. A Dose of Awkward Estimated time remaining: 14 Hours, 18 Minutes