“Epicurus spoke of all perceptible things as true and as beings. For there is no difference between saying that something is true and saying that it is real.”

Sextus Empiricus, Against the Mathematicians

Granny Smith led Applejack and Fluttershy through the twisting rock caverns of her subterranean headquarters. The ponies here were all dressed in rugged, makeshift armor and loaded for bear. They were tense, alert, and just a little afraid... but their coats were bright and colorful and their eyes were sharp. Everypony nodded to Granny as she approached them, but paused to stare at Applejack after they passed by.

Applejack glanced over her shoulder. “I am getting a lot of attention, are I not?”

“They know who ye are, and—” Granny smith stopped and looked her in the eyes. “Whass goin’ on, girl? Why ya talkin’ all funny?”

“It is... kind of a long story.”

“Twilight Sparkle did it to her,” Fluttershy said.

“Weren’t that long,” Granny smith said. “You’n the lavender unicorn can set down a spell and sort it all out. She’s got a real knack.”

Applejack blinked at her. “Who?”

“The lavender unicorn,” Granny Smith said. “Y’know? The unicorn? That’s lavender?”

Applejack and Fluttershy glanced at each other, then turned to stare at her blankly.

“The unicorn what saved yer flanks a minute ago? Big coat, wide-brimmed hat?”

“Oh, you mean Twilight?”

Granny shook her head. “She ain’t no Twilight Sparkle, and ye’d best not call her that... leastwise, not to her face. She’s got a grumpy streak a mile long and an inch deep, that one.”

“Then who is she really?”

“And why does she look exactly like Twilight?” Fluttershy added.

Granny scowled at them. “Don’t you ask me ta gossip about a pony behind her back! I raised ya better’n that. She’ll tell ya herself when she’s good and ready.”

She led them into another large cave, this one filled with makeshift beds and dinner tables. There was a crowd of resistance ponies all gathered in a circle and talking cheerfully. They could barely make out a trio of grey ponies at the center of attention. Despite their dull appearances, they were cheerful and excited.

“Pinkie Pie?” Applejack said, half to herself.

All three of the grey ponies turned to look her way, and the crowd parted for them as they galloped over. A bunch of the younger colts and fillies followed in their wake, laughing and smiling as they tried to climb all over Pinkie Pie.

“Applejack! Fluttershy!” She slammed into them and hugged them both tightly. “It’s so good to see you again! We were so worried about you!”

Applejack struggled to free herself, but eventually gave up and gave Pinkie Pie a pat on the back. “Same to you two, actually. How did you guys get here?”

Pinkie Pie let go and stepped back. “We were rescued by somepony. We would have been goners for sure if it hadn’t been for her!”

“She was dressed sort of like the Mysterious Mare Do Well,” said Rarity, “except she was a tad grittier. And grumpier.”

“And you’ll never guess who she turned out to be!”

“We know,” said Applejack. “She came to our rescue as well. But what about Rainbow Dash? How did you get here?”

Dash rolled her eyes. “How do you think she knew where to find you? I found Granny’s little operation right away and filled her in on everything. She sent that other Twilight Sparkle to go check up on you four, in case you needed help.”

“I guess it’s a good thing she did,” Fluttershy said.

“You’re welcome,” the Other Twilight called from the entrance. She stepped in and nodded to Granny Smith. “You called for me?”

“That ah did, girl.” She nodded to Applejack. “This one here has some kinda magical whammy on her voice-box. Think ye kin’ do anythin’ to make her talk all proper like agin’?”

“I can take a look, certainly. I’ll go prepare the laboratory then meet up with you in the strategy room.”

Applejack smiled at her warmly. “Thanks, Twi! I just knew you would pull through for us!”

The other Twilight Sparkle scowled at her and ground her teeth together. She turned and stormed away, leaving them to shuffle their feet and glance about awkwardly.

“Well now I just feel like a cad.”

“Aw, she’ll get over it,” said Rainbow Dash. “She’s grumpy all the time anyways.”

“Let’s get moving,” Granny said. “I’ll fill y’all in while we go.”

The five friends, reunited at last, followed after her and the mares and stallions in the bunk-cave all watched quietly as they left. The children all bounced after Pinkie Pie and only went back to their bunks when she promised to return later. Granny led them down the twisting halls and back the way they’d came.

“Twilight Sparkle—the big’ol scary one, that is—hasn’t left her central library ever since she took over. She’s got her tweedcoat thugs runnin’ errands all over town, and she can cast spells anywhere she likes without even showin’ up. Ponyville belongs to her, now... and her power is spreadin’ fast.”

“Why is the whole place different?” Applejack said. “The buildings and roads are all in different places now. How is that even possible?”

“And what about the sun and moon?” said Rarity.

Rainbow Dash hovered over. “And what about the ponies? Why didn’t they notice any of this? Did she brainwash them or something?”

“The answers are all the same,” growled Granny Smith “She jes’ made it that way. She can shuffle the town however she likes, and she can stop the sky from movin’ whenever she pleases... but only in Ponyville.”

Rarity tilted her head. “You’re telling me that the sun and moon are in physically different places... but only for the ponies that are in Ponyville? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“She’s a Princess.” Granny Smith turned and spat on the floor. “Or at least she used to be. It’s what they do... they decide how the world should work. They decide what makes sense and what don’t.”

There was a moment of silence as the five friends glanced at each other.

“It ain’t all bad news,” Granny said. “She may be makin’ up all the rules, but she still has to play by them herself and we’ve had plenty of time to figure them out one by one. Firstly, she doesn’t know everything... just what’s written down.”

“Er... pardon?”

“She’s a master of all things readin’, writin’ and ’rhythmatic. Novels, reports, indexes, grocery-lists, phone books, diaries, everything: if it’s written on a piece of paper, she knows all about it. That’s why nopony in the resistance ever writes reports or messages: as long as our communications rely on pictures and word of mouth she can’t tell what we’re up to.” They returned to the main strategy room and Granny Smith led them to the huge map on the tables. “The other thing to watch out fer is her oogity-boogity mind control powers... they only work on ponies who officially live in Ponyville. That’s why she can’t do nuthin’ to bamboozle us: As a private property, Sweet Apple Acres isn’t legally a part of the village.”

“But the others!” said Applejack. “Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, Apple Bumpkin and Apple Fritter...  they were all—”

“They moved.” Granny Smith banged a hoof against the map on the table. “Twilight offered to give Apple Bumpkin a free house in town: real cushy digs, too. She didn’t have a clue that anything fishy was goin’ on, so she said yes... who wouldn’t say yes to a free house? After Bumpkin was in her pocket, she convinced the rest of the family to move in with her. We lost two thirds of the family before we even knew what was goin’ on.”

Fluttershy’s lower lip trembled. “What should we do?”

“We were hoping you’d have an idea,” The lavender unicorn said as she stepped into the cave and approached the table. “We’ve been trying to slow her progress, but this is a magical problem. It’s well beyond our ability to solve.”

“But what about you?” Rainbow Dash said. “You’re the best there is at—”

“No I’m not,” she grumbled, “because I’m not that pony. Would you please stop making assumptions?”

Dash rolled her eyes. “All right already! But whoever you are, you’re just like Twilight, right? Shouldn’t you be really great at magic?”

Pinkie Pie rushed between them and waved a hoof. “No-no-no, She didn’t mean that! Really, she didn’t. She just wasn’t thinking.”

Dash and the lavender unicorn glared at each other for a moment.

Rarity interrupted the dead silence with a polite cough. “We brought help. Sort of. Rainbow Dash visited Princess Celestia and came back with something that could fix everything.”

The lavender unicorn’s eyes widened. “That’s just what we need! What is it?”

Rarity took out the neatly folded letter. “She sent us instructions and scribbled a magic spell on the back of—”

“What have ye’ done, child!?” Granny Smith swiped the letter away from her. “Weren’t y’all payin’ attention? If it’s written down, she knows all about it! By bringin’ that letter into Ponyville, you just gave the whole thing away!”

Rarity clapped a hoof over her mouth. “Oh my goodness gracious! I didn’t... I didn’t know! How were we to know?”

“We’d best burn this letter as soon as possible,” Granny said and opened the tiny glass door in a nearby oil lantern.

“No, don’t!” The lavender unicorn rushed over and stood in her way. “We can’t just throw it away! If it’s from the princess it must be important!”

“It’s compromised!” Granny snapped. “How’re we supposed to go through with a plan if the enemy already knows about it?”

“It was pretty vague,” Fluttershy said, hovering nearby. “There wasn’t a whole lot to it. Maybe there’s room for us to improvise.”

Rarity walked over and stood beside the lavender unicorn. “Shouldn’t you read it anyways? If you know what she knows, you could at least do something completely different... something she isn’t expecting.”

Granny glared at them but shut the lantern. She opened the letter and skimmed it’s contents, furrowing her brow. “Y’weren’t kiddin’ about it bein’ vague. There can’t be more than four lines here. This is really all she could come up with?”

Rarity leaned close and tapped the page. “Check the back.”

She turned the page over and stared at the complex diagrams and symbols inscribed in glimmering gold ink. There was no beginning or end: just a continuous series of symbols and runes, all flowing into each other.

“That’s more like it,” Granny said, “but it’s still written down. Twilight will surely know about this by now, and she’ll know exactly what it does.”

“She can’t tell where it is or when it will be used,” the lavender unicorn said. “She may be able to mold time and space to her will, but she isn’t able to connect them yet... to her extreme frustration.”

“How do you know all this?” Dash said. “I thought you said you weren’t good at magic?”

“Nevermind that! All that matters is that we have something from the princess and it costs us nothing to keep it with us.” She stepped close and set a hoof on granny’s shoulder. “Please, Mrs. Smith... can’t we trust Princess Celestia to know what’s best?”

Granny Smith passed the letter back to Rarity. “I sincerely hope so, child.”

“For the record,” said Rainbow Dash, “I never liked the plan to begin with. There’s hardly anything to it.”

Lavender shook her head. “The princess does that on purpose. She gives you just what you need, and nothing more. She trusts you to take care of the details yourself using your own personal judgment.”

“Okay, fine, whatever. But what if she made a mistake and didn’t know about it?”

“The princess doesn’t make mistakes. Everything happens for a reason.”

Dash glared at her. “She was the one that gave you that crazy homework assignment in the first place! I’m pretty sure you qualify as a mista—”

The lavender unicorn spun around and kicked a hind hoof square against Dash’s jaw, sending her tumbling to the ground. Dash looked up at her in utter shock.

“Saw that comin’,” Granny Smith muttered.

Lavender nodded at Applejack. “Let’s have a look at that larynx of yours.”

Applejack looked back at her friends one last time before following her out of the cave.

They walked to a small cave that had been clumsily outfitted as a magical laboratory. Most of the equipment had been cobbled together from wreckage and farm equipment, and the shelves were filled with bottles and jewelry boxes. There were sticky notes all over the walls and tabletops, each with a pictogram of some trivial, minor detail.

Lavender pointed at a bean-bag in the center of the room. “Sit down and lets have a look at you.”

“Sure, sure.” Appleajck flopped down on the soft, crumply blob. It was the first time all day that she’d been truly comfortable. “Is this going to hurt?”

“Not at all. The spell is completely temporary. It was designed to end after certain conditions were met, and it’s already begun to degrade. Whoever put it on you must have wanted you to learn something the hard way.”

“Are you sure you are up to this? I mean, not to be rude or nothing, but...”

“I know about magic,” she said, “but mine isn’t nearly as powerful as the real Twilight’s. I can study and research it, but that’s about it.”

“Ah.” Applejack looked away, intentionally quiet.

Lavender came back with a pair of calipers. “Can you tilt your head back, please?”

Applejack did so. She gently touched the calipers to her throat and measured the distance between each of the various bumps and contours.

“This is amazing,” Lavender said. “The spell doesn’t affect your larynx or your cerebral cortex. It’s attached to your hippocampus: a part of the brain that helps you organize your memories.”

“Is that... bad?”

“It’s very good. It means the spell can’t make any permanent changes to your mind or memories. All it can do is filter your memories whenever your mind tries to access them. It’s like a pair of glasses: they change what you see, but without changing your eyes or the world around you.”

“Can you undo it?”

“Easy as pie.”

Applejack smiled. “Well let us get to it, then!”

Lavender’s horn glowed, and a small plate with a piece of pie hovered nearby.

Applejack’s left ear flipped up. “Magic pie?”

“No,” she said, “it’s apple pie. When you eat it, the sensory experience will trigger memories in your mind... tastes and smells can produce very strong memories. I’ll be using a magic spell to monitor your mind and figure out where the memories are coming from and that will help me disconnect the spell.”

“Thank you for this. I owe you one.”

Applejack took the plate and started nibbling.

“So... are you one of them duplicate Twilights?”

Lavender turned and went to one of the chemistry tables.

“You do not have to talk about it,” Applejack said, calmly. “Not if you do not want to.”

“I don’t.”

“Well then I promise not to pester you about it.”

“Good.”

Applejack took another bite of pie.

“But you can talk to me,” she said, “if you want to.”

“Well I don’t want to.”

“I know. But if you ever do want to... I am here for you.”

“I’m not your friend, you know. I’m a completely different pony.”

Applejack shrugged. “I have got plenty of friends. Always willing to make more.”

Lavender stood and watched the chemistry kit for a while.

“Everypony thinks I’m her... they kept calling me Twilight Sparkle over and over. Ponies I’d never met before were so happy to see me. I told them to cut it out, and then they started calling me that other Twilight Sparkle.”

Applejack looked up from her pie. “That was even worse, was it?”

“It’s like I can’t just be myself. Nopony knows who I really am.” Lavender sat on the floor, still facing away. “Not even me.”

Applejack got up and sat beside her. “How are you still around, anyhow? I thought all those duplicates just disappeared.”

“Future Twilight went back to the past to help Present Twilight become Future Twilight, and then she became Present Twilight herself, closing the circle. Phantom Twilight simply returned to a state of nonexistence because she was never real to begin with.” Lavender sighed and leaned her chin on the floor. “Me? I checked into a hotel while I looked for a new job. Ponyville doesn’t need another librarian, and Celestia definitely doesn’t need another ‘most faithful student.’ I was on a train, halfway to Fillydelphia, when the magic-splosion happened.”

“Why’d you come back, then?”

“I just... I don’t even know anymore. I don’t know any of you ponies. I don’t have anything here. I guess I just wanted to help.”

Applejack nudged her shoulder. “That is pretty noble of you.”

“But I can’t help! Don’t you get it? I know everything Twilight knew, but that’s all. I have the same education and the same memories, but they aren’t mine! It’s like I read it all out of a book or saw it in a play, but none of it ever really happened to me. None of it’s fresh or exciting, and none of it makes me happy or sad or angry. I have hardly any magic at all because magic is friendship, and I... I don’t have...”

Lavender crossed her front legs and pressed her face against them, shoulders shaking. Applejack reached over and held her tight, waiting for the tears to pass.

“You came back to help Ponyville, my home, even though you knew it might be dangerous.” Applejack drew a lock of her hair aside. “You came here to save my family even though you did not owe them anything. I am glad to have you as my friend.”

Lavender leaned against her and returned the hug.

“So that’s it?” Rainbow Dash said, leaning over the map. “All you have to do is set off a giant kablooey right here, and we’re in?”

“Yeppers,” Granny smith said as she chewed on a stalk of hay. “These here tunnels run through the whole village, and Twilight don’t seem to know about ’em. That lavender unicorn says they might be a physical man-ee-fis-tay-shun o’ her subconscious. Either she don’t know about ’em, or she just plain don’t wanna know.”

“Or maybe a little part of her wants us to stop her.”

“Either way, it’s your ticket straight to the front door. It’ll only take three or four bottles of sparklin’ applejuice to open up a crater wide enough to drive a four-pony carriage through.”

“How much of that stuff do you have, anyways? And how’d you get it?”

“Made it right here. That lavender unicorn might not be as good with magic, but she’s a right clever chemist.” Granny Smith gazed up with a smile. “Ah love the smell of carbonated beverage in the mornin’. Smells like victory.”

Dash pointed at the large structure in the center of town. “What about the guards? Can the resistance fighters help us deal with them while me and the girls look for Twi?”

“Guards? Hah!” Granny smith spit her haystalk out. “That filly’s a Nightmare. It’d be like settin’ a herd o’ sheep to guard a mountain lion. When you walk through that front door, it’s jes gonna be you and her.”

Dash stared at the map. “This is it, then. The final move.”

“Kin ye do it?”

Rainbow Dash looked at Princess Celestia’s letter and the mysterious, unknowable incantation on the back.

“How y’all doin’, pardners?”

Everyone in the room looked up as Applejack marched into the cave.

“AJ? Are you sure you’re up to this?”

“Up to this?” Applejack straightened her neck. “Ah’m jes’ about fit to be tied, and ah’m fixin’ to tan that mare’s hide come hay or high water.”

“Oh... kay.”

“What about the spell?” said Fluttershy. “Do we still want to bring it with us, even though she might know what it does?”

“Are you folks kiddin’? If’n she knows what it does, then she knows we got something that’ll whip her sorry flank quicker ’n two shakes of a lamb’s tail. Why, I reckon she’s sweatin’ more’n a long-tailed cat in a room fulla rockin’ chairs.” She marched past the table and headed towards the exit. “An even if it plumb don’t work, this ain’t our first time to the rodeo. Ah ’spect we’ll think ah sumthin’ on the fly.”

Rainbow Dash watched her leave.

“Yeah,” she said to Granny Smith, “I think we got this.”

The final stage of the plan—such as it was—took less than ten minutes to enact. A pair of resistance fighters led them through the winding corridors beneath Ponyville and set the carbonated explosives with care. The girls gave them five minutes to return to the safety of their base before pulling the string.

The resulting explosion shook the cave hard enough to knock the ponies off their hooves, and the echo deafened them momentarily. They scrambled upright and galloped ahead without any further hesitation, climbing over the shattered rock and through the thick cloud of mineral dust. They emerged from the crater and into Ponyville’s main road less than a dozen yards from the front steps of the library.

They skidded to a halt and craned their heads back to stare at the edifice looming above them: a redwood tree made of gleaming obsidian and rough black iron. The width of the trunk took up an entire city block, and the upper branches were obscured by the cloud layer far above. Parapets and balconies grew out of the tree naturally and were decorated with wrought iron fences and spikes.

Fluttershy swallowed as she looked up at the open archway at the top of the stairs. The entrance alone was four stories tall. Applejack was the first to step forward, and the others followed behind. The steps led to a cavernous, tall hallway with rows of huge black columns to each side. Their hoofsteps were crisp and cold on the black marble tiles set in the floor, and every little sound they made echoed interminably. The entire hall was pitch black, but every surface had a grainy texture that sparkled like the night sky.

“Hello?” Fluttershy whispered. The pitiful little word echoed off the walls, back and forth, distorting into a metallic shriek as it slowly faded away.

Rarity glanced at the curved arches of the ceiling far above. “I don’t think anypony’s home.”

“Granny was right,” Applejack said. “Why would anypony need to guard a nightmare?”

“We may have no need of safeguarding,” a reverberant voice thundered all around them, “but we do so dislike being pestered. Our time, as well as our space, is precious.”

Tall, slender tapestries unfurled from the side of each and every column, hanging like banners. They each depicted the face and neck of a mare shrouded in shadows and darkness, with void-black glasses over her eyes and a glittering tiara on her brow.

“Twilight Sparkle!” they called out.

“Princess Twilight will suffice,” the voice called out. The pictures in the tapestries all moved as if alive, perfectly synchronized with the spoken words. “Though in your case, we think we can clear a spot on our busy schedule to meet with you... if only for old time’s sake. Do please, pull up a seat by the non-euclidian geometries and tell us what brings you to our terrible, cyclopean vista! We have so much catching up to do.”

“We’re not here to talk to you!”

“Excellent!” the voice called down. “There is nothing you could say that would be of the slightest interest to us. But we have so much to say. And you... will... listen.”

Applejack stamped a hoof. “Ain’t gonna happen!”

The face in the tapestries twisted with rage, and a set of gleaming ivory fangs opened wide where her mouth should have been. The voice shrieked all around them and a monstrous typhoon of icy wind blasted through the grand hall. The gargantuan tapestries fluttered like rags in a hurricane, and the five ponies struggled to keep from falling backwards.

The voice fell silent. The wind ceased. When the tapestries settled down, the face glared down at them unamused. “Two of those words are not real, Applejack. Not by any stretch of the imagination. We await your abject and humble apology.”

“No way, no how!”

“We had such high hopes for you... and yet here you are, polluting my sanctum sanctorum with foul sentence structure and indiscriminate punctuation. We had hoped you would see reason.”

“We didn’t come here to reason with you,” Rarity called out. “We came here to put a stop to all this. To help you.”

Princess Twilight’s laughter filled the hall. “How amusing! We see no reason to delay the inevitable.”

Fluttershy squeaked as some of the nearby floor tiles began spinning on their corners, displaying chalk-white undersides. More tiles flipped and clicked and spun ahead of them, forming a checkerboard path that lead straight down the center of the hall. Whenever the tiles flipped, they could see past them for just an instant and into the empty space below: a black void utterly without mass or volume.

The five friends walked down the checkerboard pattern and more tiles flipped as they progressed. The path led them around corners and up stairs, down hallways and through rooms, without pause.

Rainbow Dash looked up as they entered a room. “Why does that ceiling look like floor? And why do those walls have stairs in them?”

“Try not to think about it too hard,” said Rarity. “This is Twilight’s domain... it does whatever she wants it to.”

The path led them up a stairwell, and it took them a moment to realize they were no longer walking on the floor... they were walking along the wall. They went into a room where the architecture of the ceiling and walls all resembled that of a floor.

“Well this is just spiffy,” Rainbow Dash muttered, and glanced behind them. “How are we supposed to... the tiles!!”

They looked back and saw the checkerboard pathway flipping back into place behind them, leaving only an expanse of glassy-black tiles as far as they could see. Their path was vanishing like a fuse burning out.

“Go, go go!” Rainbow Dash said as she shoved them onward. They followed the path at a gallop, paying no mind to the twists and turns they made, and finally came to a set of large double doors at the end of a hallway. They hopped out of the way as the path disappeared completely, and the surface of the door-frame disintegrated into a grid of tiny squares and triangles that turned inside-out—piece by piece—until the entire frame was white. The doors themselves split into a three dimensional grid of cubes that spun around and shrank into tiny dots, leaving empty space behind.

They stared at the stark white archway and into the hallway beyond. It resembled the main hall, but much smaller.

“She certainly knows how to set the mood,” Rarity said.

Fluttershy took half a step back. “Can you guys go in first?”

Rainbow Dash and Applejack stepped forward, standing perfectly shoulder to shoulder. The others fell in as well, and they all walked in together.

“Wrong,” a raspy voice called out. “She has one.”

A set of clawed feet scraped against the floor, and they gasped as something emerged from the dark shadows at the far end of the hall. The shape lumbered towards them with it’s  head bowed and it’s claws outstretched. It’s eyes gleamed like jade and it’s serpentine tail scraped against the floor. It’s scales were dead black, and a purple aura of vile magic wreathed along it’s body like living, liquid flames.

“...Because she only needs one!” Spike said.

The friends glanced at each other.

“One what?” said Pinkie Pie.

Spike stared at them for a moment.

“One guard. She has one guard.”

Rainbow Dash reared up and jabbed her front hooves in the air a few times. “Well who is it, then? Bring’em on!”

“She only has one guard,” Spike said, “because she only needs one guard. Because that guard... is me!”

Spike reared up to his full height and flexed his arms above his head.

“Seriously?”

“Yes!” he said. “Totally seriously! My dark mistress has imbued me with the ultimate power of the void! I have become... a super-space-dragon!”

They strolled over to him. “You know you still barely come up to our shoulders, right?”

“Do not underestimate the power of the dark stuff!” He waved his arms at them and the shadowy black flames spilled slightly to either side. “Raawr!”

Rarity took a step back as a blob of dark-void-flame-evil splattered on the floor near her hoof. “Well it’s very... that is, I’m sure it’s...”

“It is kind of creepy,” Fluttershy said, “in a sinister sort of way.”

“I think it looks funny!” Pinkie Pie giggled, but stopped when Rarity kneed her in the side. “I mean, uh... yeah. It is pretty spooky. Very evil.”

“Aw, come on! Dark fire? Outer space? Horrors from beyond?” Spike held his arm out and tugged at the aura of dripping black flames, spreading it out to give them a better look. “Isn’t this doing anything for ya?”

“What does it... do, exactly?”

“Well, it’s evil. And stuff.”

There was an awkward silence. Applejack and Rainbow Dash looked away, trying to avoid eye contact. Fluttershy coughed quietly.

“Well I’m still gonna kick your flanks!” He straightened up again and flexed his arms. “My dark mistress only has one guard, because she only needs one guard... because that guard is me!”

Rainbow Dash squinted at him. “Why do you keep saying that? It’s like the third time.”

“Because you were just talking about how there weren’t any guards.”

“Yeah,” Pinkie Pie said, “but that was, like, ten whole minutes ago.”

“I missed it!?” Spike stamped his tiny foot. “Why’d you have to go and ruin my whole day like that? I’m just gonna hafta obliterate you without a snappy comeback. Are you happy? Huh? Are you?”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and sighed. “Look, Spike, we all know we’re going to kick your butt if you keep this up. Just let us walk past and—”

“Never!” Spike stamped his tiny foot again, and this time the entire room shuddered under the impact. The broiling black flames thickened for a moment, scorching the floor around him and licking the ceiling.

Rainbow Dash backed up a step. “Whoa. Okay, that was kinda spooky.”

“I’ll take this one,” Rarity said. She stepped up to Spike, walking with the refined grace and swaying posture of a three-times-in-a-row first-place beauty pageant winner. She fluttered her eyelashes and pouted her bottom lip at the baby dragon. “Oh, you big scary monster, you! Isn’t there anything I can do to convince such a mighty and terrible beast such as yourself—”

“Don’t you even start with me,” Spike sneered. He advanced on her like a wolf, fangs bared, claws outstretched. “I’m wise to your act, and I’ve had it up to here with your petty manipulations! I should have put an end to this long ago... but better late than never.”

“Oooh, nooo!” Rarity stepped backwards, rolling her eyes in exaggerated fear. “I should have known you’d be too tough and strong to fall for my feminine wiles!”

“Wow, really!?” Spike flexed his arms, trying to display the faint trace of muscle under the scales. “It’s probably all those boxes I was carrying around last week. It’s a really good workout! I’ve been cutting back on the topaz, too: empty carbs, y’know?

“Oh, and it really shows! I never realized how cool and macho you were before now!”

“Awww... shucks!” Spike clasped his hands by his cheek and bent one knee inward, swaying back and forth.

“I know you have to totally slay us now,” said Rarity, “but would you please grant me one last request? Just one little thing?” Rarity drew close and fluttered her eyelashes. “Just one... little... kiss?”

Spike stared up at her, stunned. “For real?”

“Oh yes, Spike. For real.”

Spike and Rarity leaned closer than ever, lips poised, their eyes gradually closing.

Spike’s eyes snapped open and he pointed a talon at her. “For real? You’re not just doing this to sneak past me without a fight?”

Rarity set a hoof on her chest. “I, Lady Rarity, do hereby promise to kiss Spike full on the mouth.”

Spike slapped his hands together. “Hot-diggity-dog! That’s good enough for me!”

They leaned closer than ever, lips poised, their eyes gradually closing.

Rarity opened one eye and, seeing that Spike’s eyes were fully closed, stepped back and nodded at the others. They tip-hoofed past the star-struck dragon utterly undetected, passed through the door at the far end of the hall and closed it behind them with a quiet grind.

Fully three minutes later, Spike opened one eye and glanced at his surroundings. He turned back to see the door behind him was locked tight.

He gazed at the door with a longing sigh. “Yeah... I’m wearin’ her down.”

The door led them out onto a broad, open balcony that jutted from the side of the tree like a shelf. They walked ahead, looking at the misty white clouds all around them. Pairs of small braziers along the railing lit up with purple flames. Directly ahead of them was a huge throne, facing away from them.

Applejack spit to one side and flexed her shoulders. “Ah hope yer ready,” she said.

Gears in the base of the throne began to churn and the seat rotated to face them. Twilight Sparkle... Princess Sparkle... Nightmare Twilight... none of these names did any justice to the mare that now towered over them. She was sleek and poised, and her black coat glittered with an oily, purple sheen. A crown of iron spikes sat on her brow, and large iron beads separated her hair into dozens of long tresses that fell to the floor and snaked about her hooves. Her wings were no longer longer solid things... they were feathers floating in empty space, as if suspended by an invisible fan. Her face was smiling and serene, but a pair of large glasses obscured her eyes. The frames glinted brightly, but the lenses were dark and impenetrable.

“You have kept us waiting,” she whispered. Her voice came at them from all directions at once, carried on the wind. “I give you one final opportunity to refuse to surrender.”

Applejack turned to Rarity. “You have it?” she whispered.

Rarity’s horn glowed, and the corner of Celestia’s letter peeked out from between the whorls of her mane.

“Do please regale us,” Twilight said. “We are fully aware of the instructions you were given. We are curious as to why you think this will be of any use.”

Rarity held up the letter. “This was given to us by the princess! That alone should give you pause.”

“You believe your faith in her will save you?” Twilight stood from her seat, lithe and poised, and walked down the stairs at the base of her throne. “You have no true understanding of what you do. You blindly obey her. You are already the mindless thralls of a princess... we simply mean to redirect that zeal in a more productive vector. Surely you can see this?”

“It’s not the same at all!” Fluttershy said. “We have faith in her!”

“Semantic nonsense, my dear little sheep. Regardless, you should know that she has betrayed you. Sent you in ahead to gather information without expecting you to survive. She cares not if you live or die, as long as it serves her purposes. She is too frail and cowardly an aristocrat to take action herself.”

“That’s not true! We came here willingly!”

“Willingly?” Twilight turned to Pinkie Pie. “You once proved to me the coexistence of fate and freewill. Now, it is we who are blessed. We can see fate in all its glorious multiplicity... it is a simple thing for us to follow one single thread throughout the tapestry of creation. We have seen this moment in time... we have predicted every conceivable permutation of reality that may transpire within the next few moments. There is not one thing you can do to resist us. Your failure is inevitable.”

“Jeez,” rainbow Dash muttered. “Does she ever stop talking?”

“Soon now, yes.” Twilight lowered her head, and the needle of her horn burned with the raw energy of un-creation. “The time for words is over.”

“Don’t you dare!”

“Flutter, no!!”

Fluttershy darted forward and stared up at Twilight’s bespectacled face. Her eyes were bright and fierce, and a magnetic force hummed in the air between them.

“When you gaze long into an abyss,” Twilight said and simply removed her glasses. Her eyelids opened wide, but the space behind them... her eyes...

Fluttershy fell to the ground, stricken. Her face was frozen in a look of abject terror and her limbs twitched in paralytic agony. Her four friends recoiled in horror, unable to look away from the writhing, pulsating presence within the empty sockets of her eyes.

Twilight wore the faintest hint of a smirk. “Never tardy,” she whispered.

“The scroll!” Applejack hissed. “Do it now!”

Rarity held up the letter and brought it to life with a touch of her own magic. It was instantaneous and effortless, and a narrow lance of golden light shot up from its surface and pierced the sky above.

“A spell?” Twilight gasped. “What... how... where!?”

“Looks like you don’t know everything,” Rarity said, calmly.

“Only that which is written,” a new voice boomed down. Shafts of golden light burst through the clouds all around them and one of them shone down on the balcony, bathing them all in warm, soothing light. Fluttershy immediately returned to life and gasped for breath, while Twilight flinched away with a hiss. She shielded herself with one wing and scrambled to replace her tinted glasses.

“You!?”

“Princess!” the five friends called out together.

Princess Celestia drifted down, riding the sheave of light with grace. She gazed down at Twilight imperiously. “What was that about me being a frail and cowardly aristocrat?”

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