“We’ll stop you,” said Twilight Sparkle.

Starlight Shackle’s ears tilted forward. “What was that? I’m sorry, I didn’t quite hear you. Could you speak up a little?”

“I said we’ll stop you. We’ll get loose, and we’ll find a way to stop you. We’ve certainly stopped worse before.”

“No no, that’s not what it sounded like at all. It sounded more like ‘I want to be put in a dungeon for the rest of my natural life span.’ I’m sure that’s what it sounded like.”

Twilight pouted at her. “You won’t get away with this.”

“Oh, that’s my second favorite one. Have you done this before?” Starlight leaned closer. “Because I have.”

“Done what before?” said Rarity. “Gloated irritatingly?”

“That, too,” said Starlight, “but I was referring to the invasion. My generals and I have used our Elements of Tyrrany to invade three other nations, and they didn’t put up much of a struggle. From the looks of it, I doubt your nation will fare much better.”

“That’s why you were experimenting with dimensional magic!” said Twilight. “You’re using it to invade alternate-reality versions of Equestria. Well you’re in for a wake-up call: our Equestria is different.”

“The other three Twilights all said the same thing, actually. And look where they are now.”

“You don’t understand,” Twilight said, “our Equestria is an egalitarian theocratic monarchy that’s co-dependant with a democratically elected legislative assembly. You can’t just conquer this sort of complex civilization through force of arms alone. You’d have to re-engineer our entire social structure!”

“Well lookie what ah found, sweet-cheeks!” Dapplejack walked over and held up a book. “Why, it’s one ah them fancy hiss-tor-ee books! Why, a little filly could learn all sortsa things in school with a book like this. Ah course, it’s a mite too big for a little filly to read in one sittin’: we’d have to trim it down a bit.”

Dapplejack stuck a felt-tipped marker in her mouth and blacked out a line of text in the book. “There ya go. Much better. Oh, and maybe this here, too. And that’s def’nitely gotta go.”

“What are you doing?” Twilight shouted, “that’s a library book!”

“And when ah’m done with it, it’ll be a school book.” Dapplejack continued to censor the text. “Y’see, ponies have too many things to worry about already. If we trim things down a bit, there’ll be less for them to worry about. And they’ll worry more about the right things.”

“You can’t just censor the past!”

“May as well change the ending around too, while we’re at it.” Dapplejack wrote something on the inside cover. “And then they trapped that mean ol’ Tyrrant Celestia in the sun for ever and ever... and everypony lived happily ever after. Isn’t that better?”

“It’ll never work!” Twilight said. “Ponies will never believe—”

Dapplejack shoved her face right up against Twilight’s. “They will believe what they’re told to believe!”

Twilight stared back at her, wide eyed.

Dapplejack stepped back. “Ponies trust the authorities because it’s in their nature. They like bein’ led about by the nose and they like bein’ lied to... if it’s a sweet enough lie.”

“Oh don’t mind her,” Starlight said, “she takes her brainwashing duties very seriously. Propaganda is sort of an art for for her.”

“Yeah!” Kinky Cry said, “she’s the element of Deciet! She’s really good at it, too.”

“Thank you for that,” said Starlight. “Could we please not tell the prisoners about our secret inner natures? I’d rather not give them any ideas. Also: Muttersigh?”

Muttersigh tossed her mane to one side. “What now?”

“Visit the citadel and return with a status report on our military readiness.”

“Whatever,” Muttersigh said as she jumped into the glowing portal.

“What about her?” Twilight said. “The opposite of Kindness must be cruelty, right?”

Fluttershy delicately cleared her throat. “Indifference. She said she represents the ‘banality of evil.’ ”

“Well that doesn’t sound so bad,” said Applejack.

Twilight clenched her jaw. “If that’s true, she’s worse than all the rest of them put together.”

Evil Rarity stepped into the room, in her original earth-pony form. She held up a magazine and pointed at a financial report. “Are these numbers solid? Please oh please tell me these numbers are solid. If this Equestria is even half as wealthy as it appears, we’re in for a very nice treat.”

“Don’t get too excited,” said Starlight. “We won’t be able to confirm anything until we execute phase two of our plan.”

“Who is she?” said Rarity. “We were never formally introduced.”

“Miss Scarcity, at your service.” She performed a flawless curtsey. “I manage the Ministry of Plenty. We’re responsible for the distribution of wealth and provisions to those who need it most.”

“Really?” Rarity said. “Thats sounds... generous.”

Scarcity and Starlight Shackle looked at each other for a moment, then broke down laughing. Starlight finally had to sit down, clutching her tummy.

“Oh my stars!” said Scarcity. “I knew there was a reason I was going to eat you last.”

Rarity watched as Scarcity went back to the room where the periodicals were kept.

“Was she joking?”

“She’ll polish yer bones clean,” said Dapplejack. “Ah’ve seen ’er do it.”

Starlight Shackle cleared her throat. “She’s speaking metaphorically, of course. Scarcity has a unique gift for redistributing wealth and exploiting natural resources. She’ll be taking care of the economic conquest of your world, while Dapplejack manages the cultural reprogramming.”

Moondog Smash pointed a hoof at Starlight Shackle. “And what are you going to do, then? Just sit on your flank and eat chips while we do all the work? Just like you did last time?”

“I expected more from you, Air Commander Moondog Smash. There’s a reason you haven’t been promoted to Air Marshal yet: strategic leadership involves very little ‘sitting around,’ and absolutely no ‘eating chips’ whatsoever, I assure you.” Starlight flipped to the next page in her little black book and scribbled something down. “If this operation succeeds—and our success is inevitable, I assure you—it will be because of my careful planning.”

The glowing portal pulsed with light and Muttersigh hopped into view.

“Report!”

“Cavalry’s ready. Air force’s ready. I guess.”

“Excellent!” Starlight Shackle said. “Now it’s merely a matter of time until Princess Celestia admits defeat.”

Moondog Smash frowned at her. “These Equestrians would have been defeated years ago if I’d been calling the shots!”

Starlight gave her a withering glare. “Moondog. Only a select few ever lead.”

“My time will come, Starlight!”

“Never.” Starlight shook a hoof at her and spoke with a guttural growl. “Never!”

Moondog pouted at her and turned away, kicking the floor. “Never, huh? I’ll show her... I’ll show ’em all! As soon I get Starlight Shackle out of the picture, everypony will have no choice but to obey my every—”

“We’re right behind you, Moondog,” Starlight said, “and you’re speaking in a normal tone of voice.”

Moondog Smash tensed up for a moment. She hunkered her shoulders and lowered her voice to a quiet whisper. “As soon I get Starlight Shackle out of the picture, everypony will—”

Starlight Sparkle slammed a hoof on the table. Moondog jumped and let out a squeal.

“Just go back to the Citadel and prepare the Sunderbolts for deployment. I’m going to want full air support within the week.”

Moondog Smash gave her a crisp salute. “Right away, commander! You can count on me!”

Everypony watched as Moondog flew through the portal.

“So, what’s her—”

“Betrayal,” the evil mares said in unison.

“Wow,” Rainbow Dash said, “is it just me, or does that seem like a huge liability? Why do you even keep her around?”

“We need her element,” Starlight said, “and she keeps me on edge.”

Applejack snorted at her. “You folks are your own worst enemies! You’ve got an element who’s guaranteed to betray you, and another element who’s literally incapable of caring about anything at all. You’ll fly apart at the seams long before you win!”

“We don’t have to win,” said Starlight, “we just have to make sure you lose more than we do. We’ll do the usual plundering, pillaging and propaganda, but that’s just the icing on the cake.”

“Icing? Ooh, ooh!” Kinky Cry said. “What kind of icing is it? I could eat a whole tub of icing all by itself!”

Twilight Arched an eyebrow. “What’s she represent?”

“Miserableness, actually.” Starlight watched as Kinky Cry cheerfully bounced up and down. “She never really got the hang of it, though.”

“So,” Twilight said, “about this sinister plot of yours?”

“Right, right. I’ve decided to—”

“Now hold onna minute,” Dapplejack said. “S’cuse me if ahm steppin’ outta line here, but should we be discussin’ that in front of th’ prisoners?”

“Are you kidding?” Starlight said, “Twilight Sparkle is the only pony smart enough to appreciate my brilliance. I wouldn’t miss this for anything.”

Dapplejack sighed and sat down. “As y’ say, boss.”

“Right, where was I? Sinister plot.” Starlight dragged a chair in front of Twilight and sat on it backwards. “Every Equestria is a little different, but yours is especially so: you are the only Twilight Sparkle—that we know of, at least—that actually managed to restore your Nightmare Moon without also corrupting your Princess Celestia. That’s what happened to us: Our Celestia fought Nightmare Moon alone, and won, but was corrupted herself. She now rules over us as Nightmare Daybreak.”

“That’s horrible!” said Rainbow Dash.

“It’s pretty cool, actually, since she lets us do whatever we want. It was my idea to research alternate dimensions, and it was Moondog Smash’s idea to conquer them for fun and profit. Nightmare Daybreak is content to stay in the citadel and enjoy the wealth we bring her. ‘Sits on her flank and eats chips,’ as Moondog is wont to say.” Starlight shuffled closer and smiled at Twilight. “But your world is different. You still have a princess Luna. So I’ve decided to—get this, you’re gonna love it—corrupt your Luna into a nightmare again, enslave her as my own personal pet, and use her to defeat our Nightmare Daybreak. And then...”

“You’ll rule over all of Equestria yourself!” said Twilight.

“A couple of them, actually! Eh? Eh? What’d I say?”

Twilight stared off into space for a moment. “That... is really evil. Wow. I think that’s the most evil thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Yes!” Starlight reached up and pumped the air. “I told you she’d appreciate my brilliance! Didn’t I just say?”

Dapplejack nodded, only paying half attention. “Ah yes’m. That y’ did.”

Starlight sighed at her. “Look, if I can pretend to be interested in all your agit-prop posters, the least you can do is—” Starlight got up from her chair and a volley of heavy steel knives missed her by a hair’s width and stuck into the wall behind her.

Starlight stared at the knives for a moment. “Wha—”

“It wasn’t necessarily me, you know! Why does everypony always accuse me right away?”

Everypony turned to look at Moondog Smash, standing by the portal. She shuffled her hooves and glanced about.

“Hi. I’m back.”

“Nopony accused you,” Starlight said. “You were the first to mention it.”

Moondog’s eyes darted about the room. “...No I didn’t.”

There was a long, awkward pause.

“I got a report for you! You love those, right?” Moondog reached into her saddle bag and took out an envelope. As she did, a half-dozen shiny knives fell from between the feathers of her wings. Moondog stared down at them for a moment.

“Oh-mi-gosh, you guys! Somepony hid knives in my feathers, and they never told me!”

Starlight jumped up with a grin, put Moondog in a headlock, and rubbed her hoof vigorously against the top of her head. “Don’t ever change, ya big lug! Don’t ever change! I told you she keeps me on edge, didn’t I?”

“Aw come on boss, not the noogie! Not in front of the goodie-goodie-four-shoes!”

Starlight dropped Moondog and took the report. “Excellent. The Sunderbolts’ air force is ready to launch at a moment’s notice. Dapplejack’s cavalry only needs three days to mobilize. There’s no nearby oceans or rivers, so Scarcity’s naval armada won’t be an option... what does that leave? I’m forgetting something, I just know it.”

Dapplejack looked up. “Artillery?”

“Right,” Starlight said, “Kinky Cry? What’s the artillery division’s readiness state?”

"It's peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time!"

Starlight watched as her artillery commander danced about the library.

“Kinky Cry?”

“Where he at? Where he at? Where he at? Where he at?” She turned around and walked backwards. “Now, there he go! There he go! There he go! There he go!”

Starlight’s right eyelid twitched. “Kinky Cry.”

“Do the peanut-buttah-jelly! Peanut-buttah-jelly! Peanut-buttah-jelly with a baseball bat! Do the peanut-buttah—”

“And you trust her with the artillery?” said Rainbow Dash.

“She’s a Lance Bombardier, and she can hit a penny from ten acres away in the middle of a hurricane. We can tolerate her eccentricities”

“—Jelly! Peanut-buttah-jelly! Peanut-buttah-jelly with a baseball bat!”

Starlight tromped over to the dancing pink pony and swiped a pair of clip-on earrings from her ears. The song and dance routine came to an abrupt end.

Starlight shook the earrings in her face. “This is elite communication gear! It is not a music player!”

“Oh, hi! Wanna sing along?”

“No. I want a readiness report on the artillery division.”

“Wha?”

“We went over this before we left!” said Starlight Shackle. “It’s the single, solitary responsibility I ask of you! Can I not even trust you to take care of one little thing!?”

She quirked an eyebrow. “What’re you talking about?”

“The artillery!” Starlight said. “Catapults! Trebuchets! Scorpios! Ballistas! Onagers! You have one job on this operation. You’ve only had one job ever, and that is to bring the rain!”

Kinky Cry eyed her, worried. “I’ve got a pumpkin chucker, if that’s what you mean.”

“You expect us to invade an entire civilization with one pumpkin chucker? Are you mad?”

She shrugged. “It’s for parties.”

Starlight stared at her, aghast.

Pinkie Pie rushed in from the kitchen wearing a polka dotted clown dress and a giant rainbow-colored wig. She was holding a large jar and her mouth and chin were smeared with thick, chestnut paste. “You guys, you guys! You’ll never guess what I found in the kitchen!”

Twilight pointed at her. “What is the prisoner doing free!?”

“Prisoner?” Pinkie Pie said, “that’s no way to treat your Lance Bombardier.”

Starlight stared at her in shock. Her eyes snapped to the leather clad pony before her.

“Kinky...?”

“No, I’m Pinkie Pie.” She pointed at the clowny mare. “She’s Kinky Cry.”

Starlight Shackle’s eyes darted between them rapidly. “What? Why? How!?”

“Kinky Cry was so impressed by our dance-off that she asked me to teach her a few moves. She let me free, and then I told her we should totally trade clothes.”

“You disguised yourself as Kinky to mount a surprise rescue?” Starlight glared at her, furious. “That’s supposed to be phase two of our plan! We’re supposed to dress up as you, and infiltrate your society! Not the other way around!”

“Oh, this wasn’t an escape plan. I just thought it’d be fun to trade clothes!”

“Yeah!” Kinky Cry said, “I was thinking we could totally pull a prank on you, too. I love pranks!”

“Wow!” Pinkie Pie said, “I love pranks too!”

“That’s amazing!” Kinky Cry lifted up her jar. “What about Choco-Butter? Do you like that?”

“Are you kidding?” Pinkie Pie said, “it’s chocolate and peanut butter at the same time! It’s so great I could eat a whole jar of it, all by itself!”

“So could I!” Kinky Cry stuck her nose into the jar and took another mouthful. “We used to have it in our dimension, but then they stopped selling it. I haven’t had any in years. I totally have to find a bulk-barn and buy a whole crate before we go back.”

“Buy?” Pinkie Pie said, “I can give you my very own super-secret home recipe for Choco-Butter, and then you can make as much as you like whenever you like!”

“That would be the best thing ever! We should totally throw a Choco-Butter party! I love parties!”

Pinkie Pie gasped in amazement. “You love parties!? I love parties!!”

Starlight Shackle stared at the two of them as they chatted away. She leaned over to Twilight Sparkle and whispered “is your Pinkie Pie always like this?”

“Oh, this is nothing,” said Twilight. “You should see her on weekends. Or birthdays. And if somepony has a birthday on a weekend, it’s best to just take the day off and stay in bed.”

“What’s wrong with your Pinkie Pie, anyway?” Rainbow Dash said, “I thought you said her element was miserableness. Shouldn’t she be all super-depressing and stuff?”

Starlight Shackle shrugged. “We don’t know why, but she’s always been this way. Like I said before, she never really got the hang of it. We’ve never actually encountered an alternate Kinky Cry before now so we’ve had nothing to compare her to.” She rowned at Twilight Sparkle. “Are you seriously telling me that neither of our pink party ponies are evil?”

Pinkie Pie hopped over. “Yeah, no. I’m the evil one. Sorry for the mixup.”

Kinky Cry ran up beside her. “And I’m actually the good one.”

Twilight Sparkle stared at Pinkie Pie. “What are you saying? You’re not evil at all!”

“Well sure I am,” she said, “but it’s not like I have to let it rule my life or anything. Just because I’m pure evil doesn’t mean I have to do evil stuff. It’s a lifestyle choice.”

“That was deep,” Kinky Cry said. “Like, totally philosophical and stuff.”

“Thanks! It just sort of came out.”

“You mean like a song?” said Kinky Cry. “Songs just sort of come out of me all the time. It just builds up until I can’t keep it in anymore, and then I gotta sing.”

“Wow!” Pinkie Pie said, “finally, somepony who really understands me!”

“In fact, I think I feel a song coming on right now... a song about caramel!”

Pinkie Pie’s face contorted into a look of pure, unmitigated, nightmarish joy. “I love caramel!” She spun around and kicked a nearby gramophone and the two of them began dancing side by side.

“Dance to the beat, wave your hooves together!”

“Come feel the heat, forever and forever!”

“Listen and learn, it is time for prancing—”

“—Now we are here, we’re caramel dancing!”

Starlight Shackle and Dapplejack stood side by side and watched as the two ponies reared up on their hind legs and shook their hips in perfect unison. They held their front hooves beside their foreheads and waved them up and down in tune with the beat. Both of them wore huge grins.

Starlight and Dapplejack slowly turned to look at each other.

“Two...”

“...Kinky Cries?”

Fluttershy and her friends watched as their evil counterparts filed past them, mumbling goodbyes. It was like two soccer teams lining up to shake hooves after a particularly aggressive game, but even less sincere. And one of the teams was completely encased in enchanted, magical chains from neck to hoof.

Starlight Shackle dropped a basket of gold bars on the floor in front of Twilight. “This ought to pay for the damages to the library. And to replace that history book Dapplejack marked up.”

“Thanks,” said Twilight. “So will we ever see you again?”

“Absolutely never. And don’t even think of trying to visit us. We’ll just tell Nightmare Daybreak we didn’t find anything shiny or edible. Those are the only things she cares about anyways.” She took up her book back and slung it over her back. “We’ll probably just say your Equestria was made entirely of itching powder or something. She’s just dumb enough to fall for it.”

Kinky Cry bounced past, once again wearing her silver-buckled leather gear. "So come on move your hips, sing ooh-wah-ah-ah!"

Dapplejack winced in pain. “I swear, ah’m never gonna git this one outta mah head. This is even worse than th’ chicken dance.”

“At least it’s not as bad as the hamster dance,” said Moondog Smash. “She was singing that one for over a month straight. She just stopped sleeping.”

Muttersigh choked back a sob as the singing reached a crescendo. “Stop... making... me... feel!” She scrunched her eyes shut, and a torrent of tears ran her mascara don her cheeks.

Dapplejack ran to her side and helped her walk, shooting Twilight Sparkle a bitter glance as they passed. “See what you and yer friends have done? Well, I hope yer happy!”

Fluttershy watched as they filed into the portal one by one. When they were done, the portal’s edges began to wobble and shrink. Just at the last moment, Pinkie Pie was booted back out and tumbled to the floor. The vortex of energy shrank to a tiny dot and faded away completely.

“Aww,” Pinkie Pie said, “I was really looking forward to that Choco-Butter party.”

Their magical chains and locks disintegrated into a fine black powder. They shuffled in place, quietly. Rarity tried to brush the soot off her coat but quickly gave up.

“So,” Applejack said.

“Yeah,” said Rainbow Dash.

Pinkie Pie glanced around. “Is everypony okay?”

“Looks like,” said Applejack. “Shame about the library, though.”

Twilight stood up. “Most of the equipment can still be salvaged. I’ll have to rebuild a lot of these tools from scratch, though.”

“Actually, I meant all them books and shelves that got smashed up.”

Twilight put on her goggles and went to giant mechanical pillar. “The spelly-welly thingy-wingy looks to be intact. That’s the only part that really matters.”

Fluttershy staggered upright, knees trembling. “You’re still worried about your assignment, aren’t you!”

“I should have the magical laboratory up and running within... six hours, call it.” Twilight looked at the wall clock. “That’ll give me approximately forty-eight seconds to finish my homework assignment. Assuming I don’t need to order replacement parts.”

Fluttershy shrieked at the top of her lungs for as long as she could. All five of her friends flinched in terror.

“You’re done!” Fluttershy shouted. “You call the princess right now, and you tell her you can’t do this!”

Twilight looked at her, startled. “Fluttershy, don’t you think you might be overreacting?”

“Overreacting? Overreacting!? I hurled myself into a space-portal to save all of you, and I thought for sure I’d never see any of you ever again! And if it had happened, it would have been all your fault!”

“Don’t blame me for this!” said Twilight. “It’s not like I was expecting to open a portal to an evil alternate reality.”

“No, you didn’t!” Fluttershy said, still yelling. “You didn’t expect it, and it happened anyway! You allowed it to happen because you weren’t patient or prepared enough! You didn’t even care! Muttersigh was totally right: indifference is much worse than intentional evil!”

Twilight stamped a hoof. “I know what I’m doing, Fluttershy. This is for science!”

“Darn your science! Darn it all to heck!”

Everypony gasped in shock.

“Wha-what’d she say?” Pinkie Pie said. “Like, darning socks or something? Is that what she meant?”

“Now Flutter,” Applejack said, “there’s no need to be vulgar, is there?”

Flutter clenched her teeth and took a deep, hissing breath. Applejack and Rarity grabbed Pinkie Pie’s head from each side and covered her ears.

“To heck with your science! To heck with your project! And to heck with you!”

Twilight stared at Fluttershy, visibly shaken. She swallowed a lump in her throat. “You d-d-don’t really mean that, do you? Your my f-f-friend!”

“Friends listen to each other. And when you asked for my advice, you didn’t listen to a single word of it.” Fluttershy scowled as she walked to the exit. “You might want to think about what that implies.”

Twilight watched as she tromped out the front door. She looked at the rest of her friends. “You don’t think that too, do you? Girls? Do you?”

They all looked back at her, awkward.

“Listen,” Applejack said, “it’s gettin’ real late, and I gotta get up early tomorrow. Why don’t you just sack it in, and we’ll talk about this in the mornin’?”

“Tomorrow? It’ll be too late tomorrow! It has to be done by dawn!”

“You got problems, girl!” Applejack pointed a hoof at her, “ah didnt’ wanna say it, but this whole week has been a disaster. I don’t know how much more of it ah can take.”

“Dash! You understand, don’t you? If at first you don’t succeed—”

Dash frowned at her. “Weren’t you trying to fail horribly? It’s starting to look like you are. Just not the way you want.”

“Fluttershy is right about one thing,” Rarity said, “You really do need to talk this over with Princess Celestia.”

“No!” Twilight said, eyes wide. “We can’t let her know!”

Rarity stared at her for a moment.

“What?” Twilight said, “what is it? What’s wrong?”

“You’re... starting to sound like Starlight Shackle.”

Twilight watched as her friends filed out of the library.

“Pinkie Pie? Not you, too!” Twilight ran over to the door. “Why don’t you stay over for a sleepover? We can have a ‘fixing up the library’ party or something! Just the two of us!”

Pinkie looked back at her. “I dunno...”

“Come on, Pinkie; You never pass up a chance to party! You want me to smile, don’t you?”

“Sorry, Twilight. I don’t think a party is gonna make you smile.”

“Well, what will? I’m sure something will!”

“I don’t think there’s anything I can do to make you smile,” she said. “It’s something you need to stop doing.”

Twilight watched the last of her friends leave the library. She looked back at the demolished library, filled with wreckage and shredded books. She stumbled over to the only table still standing and flopped into a half-broken chair.

She heard a faint set of claws scratch against the stairwell. Spike climbed over the fallen bookshelves and sat down beside her.

“Twi?”

Twilight stared at the carpet of books.

“Twilight?” said Spike. “Is there anything you wanna do?”

“I haven’t gone stargazing in a long while.”

Spike glanced out a nearby broken window. “It’s a pretty clear sky. No moon or clouds. Want me to pack up your telescope?”

“Nah. I feel like just... looking. Could you get my lucky book bag for me?”

“Sure thing!” Spike ran off to search the floor, and finally came back with her book bag. “Jeez, this thing weighs a ton. What kind of books have you been lugging around?”

“Big ones,” Twilight said, “too big, and way too many, all week long.”

“Here you go.” Spike set the bag on the table, then ran off to the kitchen. “I’ll go and pack up some snacks!”

Twilight opened the bag and took out a couple of the books inside. She frowned for a moment. They seemed like perfectly ordinary reference books, but she didn’t recognize any of them.

We have the exact same book bag.

She took out the little black book, flipped to the last page, and read the last note: Important reminder: This reality’s version of Luna could be a useful tool. Must try to turn her back into Nightmare Moon and have her fight Nightmare Daybreak. With luck, they’ll kill each other off. Even if she does win and rule over us, she can’t possibly be any dumber than Daybreak. And she probably doesn’t hit the donuts quite so hard, either.

Twilight took one of the smaller books out of the bag and read the blurb on the back cover: Do your friends, family or co-workers refuse to even try to understand you? Do they say your hopes and dreams just aren’t possible? Whenever something bad happens to you, do they say ‘it’s all your fault,’ or that ‘you had it coming’? Do you ever wish there was a way to make them understand? If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, don’t give up hope: the solution to all your problems is right in front of you, and it’s easier than you ever thought possible!

“Spike?” Twilight said, “can we do something before we go? Real quick?”

Spike scowled at her from the door to the kitchen. “What something?”

She turned the book around and looked at the title: Everything you always wanted to know about becoming a Nightmare, but were too paralyzed with mind-numbing terror to ask.

“Just one little thing. It won’t take long.”

Next Chapter: %i%: Twilight Sparkle dies. She dies in this chapter! TWILIGHT SPARKLE TOTALLY DIES!!! Estimated time remaining: 4 Hours, 21 Minutes