In a dank basement, a dark plot had been hatched. Now, it was being raised to maturity. A weak, miserly flame guttered in a brazier, offering little light or heat. The hooded figure found it enough to complete the ritual circle. It examined its handiwork, chalk occasionally darting out like a viper to touch up some unsatisfactory line in the figure.

As the pony placed the white chunk on a low table, her ears perked as another entered the gloomy sanctum. She knew that only one other knew the ways of bypassing and disarming all the traps laid between here and the unsuspecting street. Still, there was no telling when a seemingly friendly knife might find its way into your back. "Were you followed?"

Her accomplice, unicorn horn just poking out from beneath her own robes, answered in a voice far more pleasant than its owner deserved. "Of course not. What kind of foal do you take me for?"

The chalk-bearer gave a humorless chuckle. "The same kind as me. After all, only a foal would try to summon a demon."

"Then foals we must be, but foals that shall rule all of Equestria!"

"Quiet!" hissed the first figure. "We must exercise caution until our victory is assured."

"Hmph. Well, if everything is prepared?"

"It is."

"Then let us assure it."

The two nodded as one and positioned themselves at opposite ends of the circle. Horns aglow, they chanted a harsh, guttural incantation clearly not meant for the pony throat. With the final larynx-scrapping syllable, each bit a lip and spat blood into the chalked design, which was now glowing with its own otherworldly light. Once the vital fluid hit the ground, that light turned just as red, and there came a burst of flame and a reek of sulphur. Then, before the conspirators stood a demon.

The blasphemous being was generally equine in shape, most closely resembling a pegasus in form, but its wings were as a dragon's. They, like the fiend's coat, were as intensely crimson as the blood that had called it. Its mane and tail were masses of roiling, lightless hellfire. The fallen one had materialized with a flank facing each summoner, and each thus reflexively glanced at its cutie mark. Both regretted it, wincing as they tore their eyes from the tear-inducing sight. Whatever horrid glyph symbolized this monster's domain, it was too terrible for the mortal mind or eye.

The beast made a cruel smirk at this self-inflicted pain. "Who dares call one from the depths of Hell?" Its voice was like burning wormwood: smoky, intoxicating, and unhealthy for anypony nearby.

Both demonologists were briefly at a loss, stunned by their horrific success. Finally, the one with a voice of poisoned honey answered the red menace. "Oh mighty Skü-T'lough, we bind you in your name to perform for us one service of our choosing."

Skü-T'lough narrowed its eyes, hissed and spat, and shook with rage. Still, though each word seemed to be dragged out of its maw, it answered as the grimoire had said it would. "Bound by my name, I must perform as instructed. Name your task."

"Great and terrible Skü-T'lough," intoned she who had drawn its mystic bindings, "we call upon you to strike down the accursed Sun Tyrant and usher in a new age for Equestria!"

The demon paused in mid-scowl, a terrible smile coming to its lurid lips and triple-row of razored fangs. A laugh like the last tears of hope boomed in its chest. "Excellent. Had you merely asked for me to bring you conquest, I would have driven you mad and let you slay one another. But instead, I shall carve for you a swathe of destruction the likes of which pony has never seen!" It threw back its head and let loose a full gale of maniacal laughter. Though their ears bled from the accursed black mirth, the robed unicorns joined in, ceasing only when an arrow suddenly bloomed in one's forehead.

As the body collapsed, her ally and the beast turned to behold an earth pony dropping a bow with a grin. She was clad in naught but a sheathed sword and her own corded muscles, the latter rippling 'neath her rugged coat as she drew the former. With the ease of long practice, she both held the massive blade in her mouth and spoke around its hilt. "You are skilled, witch. Most devils vanish once one of their callers falls."

Said witch gasped in both horror and recognition. "Applon the Barbarian!" These were her last words, for a breath later the mighty sword Dragonfang bit deep into her breast. As Applon tugged the stout weapon from the unicorn's black heart, she joined her fellow sorceress in ignoble death.

Crom's favorite daughter turned her steely gaze and equally steely sword on the hellspawn. Much to her displeasure, it still had not evaporated into a cloud of brimstone. "So, you remain here still?"

The demon gnashed its teeth, spread its wings, and flared its baleful mane. "All you have accomplished by slaying those foals was freeing me from this thrice-cursed seal! Now I may feast on your still-beating hea—" The creature of the abyss interrupted its boast when it noticed that the Cimmareian wasn't paying it any attention. "Hey! I'm not done."

Furrowing her mighty brow, Applon let Dragonfang fall from her jaws she spake, "Dinky, yer s'possed t' be dead. Quit that horn glowin' o' yers."

Scootaloo turned. Indeed, the lilac filly's horn has a light shining on its tip. Dinky got back up despite their protests, removing the Crusader cape she'd been using as a spooky cultist hood. Now that she could get a better look at it, she considered her horn and smiled. "Oh, that's my Dinky Sense!"

"Dinky Sense!" Sweetie Belle bolted upright, looking around frantically. "Is something gonna fall? Is it a monster? Is it bees?"

"No, it's—"

"BEES!" All three Cutie Mark Crusaders performed the time-honored Ponyville crisis reaction: panicking and running to nowhere in particular.

This was interrupted by a very loud, piercing whistle. The trio turned to look at the now blushing Dinky. "It's not like Pinkie Sense... though she was the one who named it. My horn just does this when my Mommy's getting close." She scanned the horizon, then pointed a hoof. "See?" Sure enough, in that direction there was a grey shape amidst the Sunday air traffic.

"Whoa, a parent-detection spell!" enthused the pegasus. "That'd be way helpful when Mom's trying to catch me reading Coltan books!"

Apple Bloom frowned. "Why'd yer Pa give ya them books if yer Ma don't want ya readin' 'em?"

Scootaloo smirked and replied as only a true Rainbow Dash fanfilly would. "'Cause my dad's at least twenty percent cooler than she is."

Sweetie Belle's attention wasn't so quickly diverted. "Do you think you could teach me a sister-detecting spell?"

The other unicorn filly shrugged. "It's not really a spell, it just kid of happens. It's sort of like a..." She paused, made sure the unhorned Crusaders were occupied, and leaned in to whisper, "like a mana leak."

Sweetie's eyes widened as Dinky scratched at the ground. A mana leak was an embarrassing instance of unintentional magic that could afflict a few unicorns well into foalhood, usually triggered by intense emotions or dreams. The white filly hesitantly asked, "You don't..."

"No! Not for wee— months! Almost a whole year!"

Dinky's outburst was enough to attract the other fillies' attention. "What are you two talking about?" asked a bemused Scootaloo.

The answer, in almost flawless stereo, was "Unicorn stuff."

Judging from her frown, the young pegasus found this response unsatisfactory. But before she could dig further, she was interrupted by the landing of an older winged pony. "Hello, Muffin!"

Love and relief flooded Dinky's system. "Hi, Mommy!" She rushed to nuzzle her mother, appearance be... darned. (Fillies who said bad words didn't get any dessert.)

"Hello, Miss Ditzy," chorused the Crusaders.

"I guess it's time to go?" asked the blonde filly, regret lacing her tone.

Her mother smiled. "Actually, I have a bit of business at Sweet Apple Acres. You and Apple Bloom can talk on the way. Now where is Big Macintosh?"

"Right here, Miss Ditzy."

It was a credit to her self-control that the pegasus didn't go airborne when that deep voice came from right behind her. "Oh! You startled me a bi—" The last word hung open, along with her jaw.

"Ah know," drawled the workhorse. "What kin Ah say? Ah'm a softy when it comes t' mah little sisters." Cardboard wings had been taped onto the harness he habitually wore, along with triangles of the same material that went along his spine.

Scootaloo gave a cheery grin and an explanation. "We were being Cutie Mark Crusader Pulp Heroines! Fighting dragons and demons and all sortsa stuff!"

Sweetie Belle chimed in. "It was all pretend, so we were also being Cutie Mark Crusader Actresses!"

"And Cutie Mark Crusader Storytellers!" added Apple Bloom.

All three cried out, "CUTIE MARK CRUSADER MULTITASKERS! YAY!"

Ditzy winced a little from the point-blank outburst, but managed to keep a smile going. "Well, it certainly seems like you fillies had a lot of fun today."

"It was all thanks to Dinky!" gushed the young pegasus.

"Oh?"

The bow-bearing earth filly nodded in agreement. "Uh huh. She had th' idea t' do stuff that needed a whole mess o' talents t' do real well! That way, we kin try even more stuff'n usual!"

Ditzy managed to keep herself from cooing over how adorable the trio was being. The fact that each of their flanks was still blank as the day they were born was apparently immaterial. They had been having too much fun to care. "Well, I'm afraid that will have to be enough crusading for today. It's getting late, and I'm sure your siblings and parents don't want you all out after dark." Indeed, the western sky was filling with the warm hues of sunset.

"Ah know Ah don't," Big Macintosh noted.

Moans of disappointment were quickly forgotten as arrangements were made to get everypony home. Scootaloo buzzed off with Sweetie Belle in tow, while the Doos and Apples made for Sweet Apple Acres. As the fillies happily chattered about their own concerns, the adults were, for a time, silent.

Surprisingly, it was Big Mac who first spoke. "If'n y'll pardon mah pryin', Miss Ditzy, what all do ya need t' do at the farm?"

The preprepared story came easily to mind and tongue. "A few things I need to tell Applejack about."

"Such as?"

"Well, for one, I'm acting as messenger for a surprise party for Pinkie Pie. After the one on her birthday, everypony asked me to spread the word so she doesn't go so paranoid that she starts talking to turnips again."

"...Beg pardon?"

Ditzy smiled and shrugged. "This is Pinkie we're talking about, though I admit that I got the story secondhoof from Rainbow Dash. I guess she could've embellished it a bit."

Big Mac gave a low, earthy chuckle. "Ah reckon so. Anythin' else?"

"Oh, a few things, but it's all filly stuff. You wouldn't be interested."

Given his red coat, it was next to impossible to tell if or when Big Macintosh was blushing, but given his sudden coughing fit, Ditzy was willing to guess that now was such a time. "Well then, uh... nice weather we're havin', ain't it?"

The pegasus gave a mental laugh at the awkward subject change. Ah, "filly stuff." When don't you work on stallions? "Certainly been good for deliveries. Minimal turbulence, low wind even at my usual cruising altitude, as low as that is... oh, sorry. I must sound like a flight school instructor."

The workhorse gave a soft smile. "Well, Ah wouldn't know 'bout that."

"I guess not. Sorry."

"No need t' apologize, Miss Ditzy. Ah think of it as a compliment t' mah intelligence."

An odd thought entered Ditzy's mind. "Big Macintosh, this may sound odd, but—"

"Miss Ditzy, Ah'm quite flattered, but Ah'm not interested in a relationship right now."

"What?"

The two turned to look at each other with surprisingly similar looks of confusion. Big Mac cleared his throat. "Oh. Beg yer pardon."

"No, no, it's perfectly understandable." A few minutes of awkward silence passed, punctuated by the heedless background noise of the foals. Finally, just as Ditzy was about to resume the conversation, they arrived at the front gate of Sweet Apple Acres.

Big Macintosh nodded to her. "Thank ya fer the comp'ny, Miss Ditzy."

"Thank you for watching Dinky today."

"Mah pleasure. AJ should be inside 'bout now. Ah'll go fetch 'er for ya."

"Thanks again."

"Not a problem. C'mon, Apple Bloom."

"Comin', Big Mac! Bye, Dinky! Bye, Miss Ditzy!" The filly dashed after her brother.

As they waited, Ditzy saw her daughter looking at her speculatively. "What is it, Dinky?"

"Is Big Macintosh your coltfriend?"

The pegasus sputtered for a moment as she tried to unstick her mind from this blindsiding query. Finally, she replied, "What made you ask that?"

"'Cause you made a preposition at him."

Ditzy laughed a little, but stopped once she saw Dinky's face fall. "Oh, silly Muffin, I'm not laughing at you. You just misunderstood something, is all. And you meant 'proposition'."

"OK. It's just..."

"Yes?"

"Well, I felt bad for Apple Bloom today 'cause she doesn't have a mommy, but Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle both have one and a dad, and I—" Her explanation was cut short by a sudden heartfelt embrace.

Mother whispered to daughter, "Oh, Dinky. You poor, sweet, little filly. I would give anything if it would bring back your daddy, even for a day, if only so you could know him like I did."

"It's OK, Mommy. You tell me stories about him all the time!"

"Still, just know that if there's anything you want to know about him, you only have to ask me. OK?"

"OK."

Ditzy gave her filly a kiss on the nose. "That's my Muffin." She looked up and saw Applejack coming out of the farmhouse. Disentangling herself from Dinky, the pegasus smiled. "Good evening, Applejack."

"Evenin', Ditzy. Hay there, l'il Dinky. Didja have fun with the Crusaders t'day?" The little unicorn gave an frantic nod. Chuckling, the Stetson-wearing farmer turned back to Ditzy. "So, what kin Ah do ya fer?"

The planeswalker took a deep breath. Sweet Apple Acres was currently suffused with an abundance of green mana, the energy of life, growth, and vitality. This wouldn't be that bad, except that it was being pulled in by the power of Honesty, and that made it especially inimical to tricky, sneaky blue magic. Like her. She'd been able to keep her mind off of it with conversation, but now the epicenter of that power was right in front of her. She was thus all too aware that this place actively despised her and nearly everything she stood for. "I actually wanted to ask a few questions about Sweet Apple Acres."

Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Really now? Don't see many pegasi that interested in farmin'. Whatcha want t' know?"

"Have you noticed any unusually fast or intense growth in the trees lately?"

The farmer scratched the back of her head with a forehoof. "Cain't say Ah have. Bin a fine growin' season, but Ah ain't seen nothin' outta the ordinary."

"How about the livestock? Anything odd among them?"

After a moment of consideration, the earth pony shook her head. "The cows haven't mentioned nothin' peculiar, an' the hogs seem happy as a foal in a candy store."

Ditzy nodded. "OK. Have you heard anything from Dash about clouds moving on their own around here?"

The orange mare looked at her incredulously. "Clouds movin' on their own? Now look here missy, Ah'm flattered that yer takin' an interest in this here farm, but an apple orchard ain't nothin' like the Everfree Forest." She shook her head. "Honestly, tain't like th' weather goes all willy-nilly just 'cause some trees happen t' nestle t'gether."

Off the top of her head, the pegasus could think of a half-dozen counter examples, but chose not to mention them. "Sorry. Didn't mean to offend you."

"Ah ain't offended. Ah jus' don't appreciate plum fool questions makin' it seem like there's Ursa Majors sleepin' in the south field." The decidedly unsilly pony narrowed her eyes. "Why're you askin' all these questions anyway?"

"Oh, um, bureaucratic stuff and nonsense. Red tape. You know how it is."

Applejack's expression was clear. She didn't believe her for a second. "Uh huh. An' Ah'm gonna raise th' moon in a few minutes. Ditzy Doo, Ah kin smell a lie like that from a mile away. Why don'tcha tell me what's really goin' on?"

"Because it would entail revealing a secret that I've been keeping from everyone in Ponyville for the last four years." Ditzy's eyes widened. The words had left her mouth before she even realized she was speaking. "Oh Celestia, it's the Boutique all over again." There she went again!

The applebucker looked askance at the silly pony. "'The Boutique'? Talk sense, girl!"

"Oh, I am. You just lack the context to understand it." Logorrhea at its worst. A quick metaphysical glance told the pegasus that her mental defenses had crumpled like wet tissue paper under the assault of truth magic. She had to get out of here! "Sorry, but I need to—"

"Oh no ya don't." Ditzy blinked, then turned around. How had Applejack gotten behind her so fast? "Y' ain't leavin' 'til y' explain yerself t' mah satisfaction."

"That could take quite some time," the mailmare answered all too honestly.

"Mommy?" Oh no. No. Hesitantly, the blonde mare turned to look at her daughter. Tears were welling up in the young unicorn's eyes. Oh please no. "You... you've been lying to me?"

"No, Muffin!" Oh dear sweet princess, not her daughter. But her tongue wasn't finished. "You've never asked me anything I've had to be dishonest about. Not even where foals come from." Dinky's expression shifted from sorrow to curiosity. Where was the nearest wall? Ditzy felt a sudden and pressing urge to repeatedly drive her face into the nearest wall.

"But ya have been lyin' t' me, haven't ya?"

"Yes." This was bad. This was doubleplusbad.

"'Bout what, if Ah may ask?"

"You may." Internally, she struggled for some degree of control. "Among other things, yes, the florist triplets do think you and Rainbow Dash are having a clandestine lesbian affair."

Watching the orange grow redder, then paler, then redder again on Applejack's face was fascinating, like watching Celestia experiment with the sunset. "That ain't neither here nor there!"

"That's another thing. At the risk of sounding like Rarity, your grammar is atrocious. As a postal worker and, by extension, an upholder of the sanctity and dignity of the Equestrian language, I normally find myself forced to hold back correction after correction whenever dealing with one or more members of your family."

"Why... Why of all the gall."

"For the record, I really am sorry about this. You see, your Element of Harmony, namely Honesty, has caused a dramatic rise in the ambient green mana on and around this farm, and because of my increased sensitivity to such things, I'm finding myself unable to control these one hundred percent truthful monologues. Seriously, I'm panicking here."

Applejack looked at Ditzy as though she'd grown an extra head and named it Zaphod. "Care t' run that by me again, sugarcube?"

"Sure. In four words, I am a p—" There. That deepest, most private secret. That she could hold in, if barely. That, at least, she could stop herself from giving away.

"A what?"

As long as Applejack didn't keep asking, of course. Fighting for control over her jaw muscles, Ditzy also looked around desperately for an escape route. She could go up, but she wasn't sure she could hold her tongue for much longer than this thought was taking her. That left just one option. One really, really crappy option "Again," she said, "I'm sorry." With that, she opened herself to every mana bond she'd established, flooding herself with power. Jaw agape, Applejack watched as the resident mailpony suddenly glowed a brilliant blue, then vanished, taking her daughter with her.

"Ugh..." Ditzy felt like crap. She must've used every ounce of power at her disposal, including the stuff normally reserved for use by her body for... body things. Biology and such. Never really her area of focus. Neither was teleportation, for that matter, and without her muffylactery, it had taken a ludicrous amount of power. She felt like she could sleep for a week. It was an effort to keep her eyes open, but she needed to see where she'd ended up after that teleport.

As she assessed her situation, she came to several realizations in sequence. First was that the main direction she'd sent herself was up, judging by the whistling wind and her internal altimeter frantically recalibrating itself. Second was that she wasn't alone. Third was that the other pony had no wings. Fourth was that the other pony was, in fact, Dinky, who was looking at her in awe. Fifth and last was the realization that she was rapidly losing consciousness.

Dramatic Exit 5U
Instant
Put target creature on top of its owner's library.
Draw a card.
"I go."
—Photo Finish