Chapter 6 guys. “The Bath.”

This might be the only chapter that I have a vague idea of, because when the Musketeers started to riff this story, I had looked ahead. Granted, I could be wrong now, which is why I once again have not read though the chapter. I don’t really want to try and guess either, but I do know that the princesses are a main point.

So, let’s get started. 120 Days of Blueblood, chapter 6.

twow: (leaning in chair with a water bottle) Damn, I thought this would work...

Pinkie: (from TV) What’s that T?

twow: A special mixture that I’ve been working on. It’s supposed to erase your current memories and teleport you somewhere. But as you can see, it’s not working.

Blueblood: Of course not. You still have a story to go though.

twow: I hate you. Did you know that?

Pinkie: Oh, and T?

twow Yeah?

Steel: I would walk foive hundred moiles, an’ I would walk five hundred moor, jus’ t’ BE the man who walked a thousand miles, to fall down at your door... (Chugs from a bottle of alcohol as he dances about the room behind the TV.) This shtuff’s GREAT!

Pinkie: I don’t think Steel’s doing too well.

twow: If I hadn’t promised myself to never drink or smoke and if I was over 21, I would be ALL OVER that shit. I could make it in here.

Steel: (Collapses with the bottle still in his mouth, chuckling like an idiot. The blindfold is tied like a bandana on his forehead now, but his eyes don’t seem too useful with them spinning about in his head.) Gurgle gurgle...

Pinkie: Steel! (runs to check on him)

Blueblood: Well. Anyway, I believe that you need to begin the next chapter, and I brought the perfect pony.

twow: Who would that be?

(A dark blue swirling mist dances in the center of the room before revealing Princess Luna.)

twow: Princess!

Luna: (hugging twow) It is great to see you, twow. My nephew told me that you needed help with a story.

twow: Is that ALL he said? That mother-

Blueblood: I’m glad that you could make it Auntie.

twow: ...I’m going to get you for this.

Luna: What does this story entail?

twow: You and Celestia being okay with Blueblood murdering four of the Elements of Harmony and recently forcing six foals to eat your shit and drink your piss.

Luna: ...one of those stories?

twow: You have NO idea.

*BUZZ*

twow and Luna: We’ve got story sign!

"Do not regret growing older.  It is a privilege denied to many."  —Author Unknown

        twow: Ten ponies can attest to that.

        Luna: Those would be...

        twow: Rarity’s family, Twilight and Shining, Pinkie and Applejack’s family.

Steel (TV): ELEVEN! IZ, IZ ELEVEN. Oh Godz, m’ liver... (BURRRRP)

twow: Damn. Pinkie’s foal.

Celestia and Luna watched the children as they left the room. The fillies and colts moaned from the pain in their stomachs as they slowly shuffled their hooves down the winding staircase. Blueblood's friends talked amongst themselves as they led the children to their new living quarters in the dungeons.

        twow: Those JUST got cleaned too!

        Luna: Truly, they will be living in paradise.

The two sisters took perverse joy as they inhaled the stench of the dining room. The chamber smelled like a used chamberpot, with the strong odor of the princesses' bodily functions lingering in the air.

        Luna: So...it smelled like a toilet?

        twow: I can only make the Glade joke so many times...

Celestia and Luna were both sweaty and smelly. Their chins and necks were stained with liquidy shit. Luna cooed as Celestia leaned in close and ran her tongue up her sister's sweaty neck to clean the filthy brown stains off of her.

        twow: What are you, a cat?

        Luna: “Meow.”

        twow: HGN.

        Pinkie: (from TV) I think you made him pass out from the cute, Princess!

 Luna returned the favor by cleaning her sister's neck and chin, before kissing her on the lips.

        Luna: What.

        twow: Did I not mention the incest part? Sorry.

When they broke their kiss, Blueblood was standing at the door, staring at them. He smiled at his aunts before turning to leave. There was still much work to be done and Blueblood wanted to make time to write in his journal.

        twow: Got that one!

        Luna: Oh, we’re playing Bingo?

        twow: Yup, that’s what the boards are for. Derpy beat me last time.

Celestia and Luna were now by themselves. They stared at the empty tables and lamented over the finished feast which they had looked forward to for so long. Luna let out a melancholy sigh.

        Luna: My board doesn’t have incest, but it does have “shit”. Should I put a chip?

        twow: Well, go ahead.

"We always feel empty inside once the Blue Moon Saturnalia is over," Luna said, wistfully. Her comment regarding emptiness reflected more than just her empty bowels and released bladder. The hollow feeling she had was emotional as well as physical.

        twow: “I just hate not being able to force children to eat my shit.”

        Luna: “Better round up some peasants.

"Then we shalt do something to lift thy spirits, sister," Celestia said. The two princesses looked at each other and smiled, sensing each other's thoughts.

"A bath!" they exclaimed in unison.

        Luna: Bubble bath?

        twow: ...wha-

        Luna: BUBBLE BATH?!

        twow: Oookay then...

The cleanliness ban imposed as part of the One Hundred and Twenty Days of Blueblood only extended to the children.

        twow: God knows why.

 In spite of the fact that they were rarely seen by their subjects, Celestia and Luna enjoyed maintaining a certain standard of hygiene. This is one reason why they took a bath once a month, whether they felt it was needed or not.

        twow: Once a MONTH? My mom would get on me if I missed a DAY.

 In Celestia and Luna's royal bathroom, two earth pony servants were heating the water for the royal bath. The twin sisters had immigrated from a small, foreign country in search of work and were promptly hired to fill recent vacancies.

        Luna: For what position?

        twow: “Pony to die in this chapter.” Warning, might be fatal.

One of the sisters had a sky blue mane with a pink coat, while the other had a pink mane with a sky blue coat. The pink pony could only speak in her native tongue. Fortunately, her sister had learned to communicate in the Canterlot language.

        twow: That would be the spa sisters. Aloe and Lotus, I believe.

They bowed as Celestia and Luna entered the bath chamber.

"вітати принцес," the pink pony said, in the language of her village.

        twow: Where’s Derpy when ya need her?

        Luna: She said, “Hello princesses.”

        twow: Right. Moon princess. I’m smart.

"Welcome, princesses," the blue pony said, with a thick accent as she translated her sister's sentiments.

        twow: Not accurate.

        Luna: It’s hard to translate!

A large fireplace was located at the far side of the room, upon which the servants had been heating large kettles of water for the princesses' baths. Above the mantle was a large painting of Celestia and Luna flying through the vast starry expanse of space while dragging the sun and moon, respectively.

        twow: Hey. That last chapter made that not true!

        Luna: What?

        twow: Wait, no. That was the chapter that Twilight died in.

 The center of the painting depicted their world as a cold and lifeless disc before the royal sisters came to power.

Nopony could remember a time before Celestia and Luna ruled Equestria. They had kept their power for generations, while remaining perpetually young and beautiful.

        Luna: There’s this small thing about us being alicorns...

        twow: Don’t logic the story. It hurts.

 Not even Blueblood understood how his 'aunts' had managed to live so long while appearing to never age. It was a question he decided long ago was best left unasked.

        twow: Well when you think about it, does it really matter?

        Luna: I think that we are about to find out.

The servants who tended to their baths were unaware of Celestia or Luna's libertine lifestyle.The twins viewed the princesses as Goddesses and felt it was their sacred duty to wash and care for them.

        twow: Deadbeats. Can’t even wash themselves.

        Luna: This story is mocking us!

In the center of the chamber were two large bathtubs, placed parallel to each other. The tubs had four copper feet, which were styled to look like griffin claws clutching an orb.

twow: He had the Gem of Immortality.        

 One end of the tubs had a higher lip that faced the fireplace, allowing the princesses to rest their heads while looking out the window as they bathed.

        twow: That’s some fancy shit right there.

        Luna: Perhaps I should give Tia the idea...

It was night, so the massive red curtains had been drawn over the large windows. The yellow light in the room was generated from the fireplace, as well as several thick red candles, which were fixed atop long, black candlesticks that were arranged around the tubs.

        Luna: That...is a lot of candles?

        twow: “That’s a lot of fish.”

        Steel (TV): THAT’S A LOTTA- (BURP) -NUTS!

While waiting for the water to finish heating, Celestia and Luna sat on large pillows as their servants anointed them with oil. The twins dipped their hair in basins of oil and dabbed it on Celestia and Luna's hooves. The blue pony tended to Celestia while the pink pony cared for Luna.

        twow: Bathing and a spa treatment.

        Luna: That is my kind of party.

The precious oil was made from a blend of oranges, jasmine, distilled roses and distilled cinnamon. The strong and pleasing smell helped to mask the rank odor of the princesses' bodily functions.

        Luna: (gags)

        twow: It’s better than Blueblood’s Elixir of Life.

Once their hooves had been cleaned, Celestia and Luna closed their eyes as their servants poured the rest of the oil onto the princesses' manes and down their backs. The royal sisters shuddered as the cool oil slid down their spines.

        twow: “Ahh! It burns!”

Using ornate, jewel-encrusted brushes, the servants began to brush Celestia and Luna's tail and mane. Celestia commended her servant for doing an excellent job and complimented her appearance.

"You and your sister are quite beautiful," Celestia said to her servant as the blue pony continued brushing.

        Luna: If this turns into sex, please tell me that it’s willing.

        twow: It’s cute how you think the rape train ever had brakes.

"Thank you, princess," the servant replied, blushing. Luna glanced over at her sister, trying to gauge her expression. This was futile, as Celestia's face remained passive and vague.

        twow: Like a rock.

        Luna: Or the dark side of the moon.

"And what of thy princess?" Celestia asked calmly as she arched her eyebrows while keeping her eyes closed, "Are we not beautiful as well?" Not wanting to hesitate with a response, the servant answered the question immediately.

"Oh yes, of course!" the blue pony said, emphatically, "Your wings are so pretty."

        twow: “And your horn is so...sharp?”

        Luna: Don’t forget the eyes.

        twow: “THE EYES.”

        Steel (TV): MY EYYYYES! AGH, GOT ALCOHOL IN THEM!

"They are, aren't they?" Celestia said, smiling, "Have you ever wished to know the secret of our eternal youth and beauty?" The servant blushed; thinking that such knowledge was beyond her mortal powers of comprehension.

        twow: You aren’t stupid Aloe. You can think.

 Celestia opened her eyes and glanced back towards the blue mare without turning her head.

        Luna: So my sister really DOES have eyes in the back of her head.

        twow: (shudders)

"That would be an honor, princess," Celestia's servant said, as she set the brush down. The blue mare dared not press the issue, lest she seem too eager. Secretly, she hoped that Celestia might impart upon her and her sister the secret to eternal life as a reward for their service.

        twow: (laughing)

        Luna: What is so funny?

        twow: They think that Celestia would be kind!

The steam rising from the large kettles indicated that the princesses' bath water was ready. The servants excused themselves from Celestia and Luna's presence and returned to the fireplace to fetch the bathwater. Placing a long, hooked pole in their mouths, the twins lifted and removed the boiling kettles from the fire, before setting them onto the stone floor.

        twow: Strong jawbones right there.

 The whole room felt warm and steamy. It was like a drug, dulling the senses and created a state of unnatural calm. The soothing nature of the steam prevented the twins from anticipating what happened next.

        Luna: “A bat flew in and ate everything.”

        twow: “I’m Bat-” wait, WHAT?

        Luna: I got nothing.

While the servants' backs were still towards Celestia and Luna, the two princesses used their alicorn magic to remove the long, red silk sashes from the crimson curtains. Without a word, the royal sisters sent the sashes flying towards their servants like two silken pythons.

        twow: Duck and cover!

Before the twins had time to react, they felt their movements being restricted as their bodies were lifted off the floor. They dropped the long poles in surprise, which clattered against the ground. Both servants exclaimed in shock as the other ends of the long sashes were tied through metal rings on the ornate bathroom ceiling.

        Luna: So now they look like two pinatas.

        twow: Merry Birthday!

Luna laughed as the twins struggled against their silken bonds like worms on a hook. Their fore-hooves were tied behind their backs and their hind-hooves were bent back in an awkward position.

        twow: Ouch?

        Luna: How awkward WAS it?

        twow: Not enough that their backs snapped apparently.

Sensing how futile it was to struggle, the two mares eventually stopped wriggling and stared bewildered at the princesses.

"Будь ласка, відпустіть нас!" the pink mare said, panicking.

        twow: “Let us the fuck out!”

"Please release us!" the blue mare said, translating her sister's words out of compulsion.

        twow: Or...that.

        Luna: You should stop trying to speak a different language twow.

        twow: My translation had more of an impact.

 Ignoring their pleas, Celestia spoke calmly to her servants, as though there was nothing unusual about this situation.

        twow: “Princess, why do you have two mares hanging from your ceiling?”

        Luna: “New lamps.”

        twow: “Okay.”

"We hath decided to divulge the secret of our eternal youth to thee," Celestia said, "Our beauty hath been preserved through an ancient rejuvenation ritual. With the aid of dark, forbidden magics, my sister and I hath managed to live for more than one thousand years. Such a potent spell requires sacrifice, which we obtain by regularly bathing in the blood of virgin fillies."

        twow: Heh, Hey Celestia. First off, those aren’t fillies. Second off...

        Luna: THIS IS WRONG!!

        twow: What she said.

The blue mare's eyes went wide with horror at this revelation. Her sister, who couldn't understand what Celestia was saying, still had a look of concerned confusion on her face.

Once Celestia had revealed her twisted desires, the blue mare began thrashing about, desperately trying to free herself.

        twow: (singing) “I just wanna be free...”(smacked by Luna)

 Seeing her sister panic further frightened the pink mare, who still didn't comprehend the gravity of their situation. The pink mare asked her sibling what was happening but the blue mare didn't respond, as she was too focused on extricating herself.

        Luna: I doubt that would have worked.

        twow: At least she tried.

"Thy blood will serve us better than it ever served thee," Luna said as she watched the blue mare thrash about, "Celestia and I are fulfilling the measure of our creation. The body exists solely to give pleasure, yet there are so many like thyselves who squander their lives on worthless pursuits such as chastity.

        twow: How in the fuck is that worthless! I’m a virgin and damn proud of it!

        Luna: Celestia and I have also kept ourselves pure. There is no shame in waiting.

They deny themselves the lusts of the flesh and by so doing are unworthy of the blood coursing through their veins!"

        twow: Luna, do you have OOC on your board?

        Luna: Yes.

        twow: Put all the chips on it, and it STILL WON’T BE ENOUGH.

Once Luna had levitated a silver dagger over from the mantle, the pink mare understood the full gravity of their situation.

        twow: What part of “blood from virgin filles” did you not understand?

Celestia levitated a gold dagger off the same mantle as both princesses approached their baths.

"Thou are truly fortunate," Luna said to her servants as she licked the blade of the dagger, "Greater love hath no mare than this, that a mare lay down her life for her princess."

        Luna: That sounds a bit off.

        twow: It fell off the track, and forgot to wear a seatbelt.

"But we're not pure!" the blue mare cried desperately, "Our blood is of no use to you! In order to get to Canterlot, we had to commit a sinful act by fellating the captain of a ship and his first mate!"

        twow: Uhhh...

        Luna: Would that count though?

        twow: Their hymen’s aren’t broken. So, they are still virgins.

The pink mare understood enough of her sister's explanation to testify to the validity of her claims. The pink pony nodded in agreement and made an obscene "O" shape with her mouth, implying fellatio.

        twow: “Now make a P.”

Celestia and Luna looked at each other for a moment, considering this new information. The two servants' hearts beat rapidly as they struggled to talk their way out of their horrific situation.

        Luna: It won’t work.

        twow: Loophole in 3...2...1...

"Fellatio doth not count," Luna said, passing judgement and gas simultaneously,

        twow: Remember that Luna. It’s gonna be on the test.

 "Thou art still virgins."

        twow: BLUH.

        Luna: Well, you hit that nail on the head...sadly.

"But we swallowed!" the blue mare shouted, grasping at straws. At that moment, the twins would have gladly allowed themselves to be raped repeatedly by all the Royal Guards, if it meant they could go on living.

        twow: (twitch)

        Luna: twow?

        twow: I’m fine...

Once Celestia and Luna were sitting in their empty bathtubs, the princesses slowly raised the daggers towards their squirming, shrieking servants.

        twow: And of COURSE I don’t have alliteration this time.

        Luna: I do! I think I just need “blood” and “crying.”

"Залиште нас у спокої!" the pink mare wailed.

"She said 'leave us alone!'" the blue mare cried hysterically as she translated her sister's screams, "Please, leave us alone!"

        Luna: Does that count?

        twow: You can have it.

Deaf to the pleas of mercy, Celestia and Luna closed their eyes and cleared their minds before reciting the incantation for their rejuvenation spell.

"Let the cover of night bear witness and destroy those who resist so they shalt harm us not," Luna said.

        twow: Can’t you just do that anyway? You’re a fucking goddess!

"Let the blood of many cleanse us like the purifying rays of the sun," Celestia said.

        Luna: “Let it shine, let it shine...”

"Preserving beauty eternal," they said together. The flames in the fireplace and those on the candles surrounding the tubs flickered and danced as the princesses recited the spell.

        twow: They didn’t ask for an encore.

Having performed this ritual thousands of times before, Celestia and Luna had both become quite adept at slitting throats.

        Luna: ............

        twow: You have to hold the knife vertically.

 They didn't want their victim to expire too quickly, so the princesses knew exactly how deep to cut and how to best angle the position of the blade in order to prolong the suffering for as long as possible.

(Luna holds her head, shaking as magic sparks from her horn)

twow: Luna, you alright there?

Nightmare Moon: STOP THIS STORY! NOW!!

twow: Oh fuck! Cut it Pinkie!

        twow: Luna! Tell me you’re in there!

Pinkie: (from TV) Princess!

Blueblood: (from TV) Auntie?        

Nightmare: QUIET! ALL OF YOU!

twow: Luna...or Nightmare, I know that you’re upset...

Nightmare: This story is a mockery of me and my sister! Neither of us would be this cruel to ANY of our subjects EVER!

twow: I understand that Nightmare. But you have to listen to me.

Nightmare: AND WHY SHOULD WE LISTEN TO THEE?!

twow: Because yelling at me is not going to solve anything. And you can’t leave, Pinkie and I princess-proofed the lab.

Nightmare: We arrived in here just fine.

twow: But can you leave?

Nightmare: ...

twow: Right. Now Nightmare, You know that this isn’t true, correct?

Nightmare: Of course!

twow: Then what’s the problem?

Nightmare: This story reminds us of all of our weaknesses. Our jealousy, our anger, our rage... and it HURTS. (crying)

twow: (holds the crying Nightmare) My life can’t get much weirder than this. Pinkie, how’s Steel?

Steel (TV): I NEED MORE ALCOHOL! I BET IT ALL ON THE GHOST, AND LOST! FIVE FUCKING BOTTLES OF 80 PROOF AJ DANIELS! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (Sobs uncontrollably.)

Pinkie: He’s...getting better?

twow: He’s gonna drink himself silly at this rate. I’ll work on a cure. In the meantime, how are you feeling up there Prince Dumbass?

Blueblood: I...

twow: Good answer. Just don’t say words. Princess, do you think that you can get through the rest of this?

Nightmare: I will try. And something will die for this.

twow: Note to self, finish my memory eraser brownies.

*BUZZ*

twow and Nightmare: We’ve got story sign!

When choosing where to cut, it often came down to a choice between the carotid artery or the jugular vein. Even though the jugular vein was smaller and produced less blood flow, it was still the preferred area to cut.

        Nightmare: The heart is always a good option.

        twow: I’m glad I put all my knives away before you got here.

A severed carotid artery resulted in unconsciousness and death in less than three minutes, while a severed jugular would keep the victim alive for eight minutes or more.

        twow: Which is seven minutes and fifty-nine seconds too long.

It was never wise to cut too deep, as a completely severed vein would press into the surrounding neck muscle. This had the undesired effect of applying pressure to the wound and slowing the blood flow. The preferred method was to only cut half way through the jugular, because an interrupted vein would be held open, allowing the blood to flow freely.

        twow: Has the author DONE this before or something?!

        Nightmare: Either that, or he was forced to watch.

The blue pony held her breath as Celestia's magic brought the sharpened blade cautiously towards her servant's neck. If she had known of Celestia's intentions to bestow a lingering death, the servant might have opted to lean forward into the dagger, forcing it to completely severe her carotid artery. In this way, she would at least have been granted a quick demise.

        twow: Please.

        Nightmare: Pain is pleasure.

        twow: For the one NOT dying, yes. Wait, why did I say that?

Her desire to live ended up prolonging her agony. Not wanting to be cut, she leaned her neck as far from the blade as possible. This allowed Celestia to slice into the jugular as far as she wanted, and no farther.

        twow: “Ya done fucked up!”

"The intervening moments from the slitting of one's throat to the unconsciousness that precedes death is rather short," Luna lamented to the twins, "Rarely does somepony whose throat has been cut take the time to fully explore all the new curious sensations afforded them."

        Nightmare: What, like the HORRIBLE PAIN?!

        twow: Your eyes get wider. It’s pretty cool.

        Nightmare: CLOSE THY MOUTH.

"Tis a shame," Celestia added as she carefully slid the blade across her servant's blue neck, "Unfortunately, the pony whose throat hath been slit is often so preoccupied with matters of no importance. Inane trivialities such as worrying about deeds left undone, thinking of loved ones, feelings of anger towards us or the fear of death itself.

twow: Heh. Bitch, those are important. Don’t knock them just because you can’t have them.

Nightmare: Especially the anger part. That’s dire.

 All such activities are of no relevance whatsoever to a pony with approximately eight minutes left to live. Most of them squander their remaining time in this manner and almost entirely miss the unique experiences offered by a slit throat."

        twow: “Yes, like the sensation of your blood leaving your body.”

        Nightmare: “Also, losing the will to live is the best part.”

        Steel (TV): Losing my will to live right now...

The blue mare had expected to feel unbearable agony. In reality, the first few minutes after having one's throat cut were relatively pain-free. This was due to the body releasing endorphins during extreme stress, which helped delay feelings of pain.

        twow: When a blade is really sharp, a cut isn’t even felt until a bit after the fact.

At first, she didn't think that she'd been cut at all. Her neck just started to feel warm a second or two after the blade had been drawn across her throat.

        Nightmare: Kinda like the heat of the sun.

This heat was especially interesting because it arrived without pain, at least at first. What she didn't realize was that cuts from sharp blades don't really hurt until well after the event itself.

        Nightmare: Wow twow.

        twow: I work with sharp objects all the time in here. It pays to know my stuff.

The blue mare was in such a state of shock, she didn't even realize that she was bleeding. Instead, it felt like a warm tickle in her throat. It wasn't until she glanced down at Celestia that she noticed several cups of her own blood were splashing against the princess' face and chest.

        twow: And then she promptly lost her shit.

Upon seeing the crimson tide wash over Celestia's body, the blue mare felt compelled to clutch at her throat. This instinct was hindered by the silken bonds that kept her fore-hooves tied behind her back. Blood continued to pour from the gash in her neck as she struggled to free herself.

        Nightmare: She’s doomed anyway!

twow: Well, magic exists in this world. That’s the only way she’d be getting out of this alive.

"Even if thy bonds were loosed, no firm hoof against thy throat could stave off the inevitable," Celestia said in a condescending tone, "Thou shouldst thank us for restricting thy movements, as we have prevented thee from wasting thy final moments on such futile efforts."

        twow: Note, that I said alive.

        Nightmare: I will cast that universe into total darkness.

        Steel (TV): (Burp)... A-Already doin’ that... exprmint...

        twow: Cut him off Pinkie!

        Pinkie: Working on it!

        Steel (TV): I’LL STOP WHEN I WANNA! I CEN QUIT WHENEVA!

"Ти вбив мою сестру," the pink mare cried repeatedly, as she stared at her twin, "Ти вбив мою сестру."

Her slashed throat made turning her head to look at her sister impossible, but the blue mare was still able to listen to her sibling's words. They translated into "you killed my sister."

        twow: “My name is Lotus. You killed my sister. Prepare to die.”

The pink mare's sobs were literally cut short as Luna's dagger finally found its mark. Choking on her words, the pink mare felt her mouth bubble up with blood as she tried to speak.

        twow: You can go ahead and mark off “blood” now.

        Nightmare: And I feel no joy in doing so.

In her zeal to draw blood, Luna had inadvertently cut not only the pink mare's jugular vein, but her carotid artery and windpipe as well.

        twow: Fail?

 Having her throat slit while vocalizing offered the pink mare a uniquely fascinating respiratory experience. The vocal vibrations which occurred at the instant of incision made the slicing sensation all the more visceral.

        twow: Or...not.

        Nightmare: Patience is a damn virtue!

        twow: Geez Nightmare!

        Nightmare: And don’t even THINK about correcting me!

Once her vocal chords became severed, she felt her voice suddenly give out.

        twow: That’s usually what happens when you lose your vocal chords.

One second she was shrieking with all her might, only to be made mute a moment later. No matter how hard she tried to scream, no words emanated from her mouth. The only noise she managed to produce was the sound of her blood splashing against Luna's chest.

        twow: Technically, the BLOOD made that sound...(smacked by Nightmare.)

        Nightmare: Don’t you even start.

Unlike Celestia's victim, who had produced a healthy and consistent blood flow for several minutes, Luna's victim hemorrhaged gallons of blood in under two minutes. It was a clear case of the differences between the two methods of exsanguination.

        twow: So, Luna failed.

        Nightmare: “Come over here guard! I need a re-take!”

Over on the mantle, two jewel-encrusted goblets sat in their regular spots, waiting to be used. Celestia and Luna levitates the goblets over to their bath and suspended them beneath their servant's warm crimson shower.

When the goblets were filled to overflowing, the royal sisters clinked their glasses together before bringing them to their lips. Blood trickled down their cheeks as the goblets were soon drained.

        twow: “I vant to drink your virgin blood.”

Consuming blood was more intoxicating to the princesses than the strongest of spirits.

Nightmare: I could compare myself to this story and get off free for everything I’ve ever done.

        twow: Pretty much.

        Steel (TV): Amen. (Drooling on the table.)

For Celestia and Luna, watching their servants' struggle during their final moments was the highlight of the ceremony. The hot sanguine spray from the flailing mares' sliced necks offered a visceral 'fountain of youth' for the two despotic sisters.

        twow: And it’s STILL better than Blueblood’s Elixir of Life.

        Nightmare: What is that, by the way?

        twow: I am not explaining that shit.

        Steel (TV): Iz def nut AJ’s beer...

Drunk with absolute power over their subjects, the blood of virgins was the oil that lubricated the royal sisters' machine of sadistic indulgence.

Not content to merely drink and bathe in their servants' blood, Celestia and Luna became aroused and started masturbating in the crimson liquid.

        All: Wat.

        Steel (TV): Wat. Wat?

 The mere sight of the blade opening the veins of their comely, quivering, suspended servants made Celestia and Luna moist from prurient convulsions. Their hooves created ripples in the blood as they rubbed and teased their clits.

        Nightmare: No, I’m serious, WHAT?!

twow: Getting off to blood. I’ll give you credit Bronystories, you’ve managed to disgust me in a new way. (slow claps)

 The princesses moaned with perverse pleasure and reveled in the crimson froth of gore forged from their abject cruelty.

Each beat of their servants' hearts sent more blood flowing onto the royal sisters. The mental, emotional and physical strains were finally taking their toll on the suspended servants.

twow: Bleeding from your neck while you hang from a ceiling watching your rulers masterbate MIGHT do that to you!

Relax," Luna said to the twins as she continued to pleasure herself with her blood-slickened fore-hoof, "Struggling will only hurry death along. These are thy final moments. Thou shouldst try to make them last as long as possible.

        Nightmare: Which to them, meant to STRUGGLE HARDER.

 We also advise against reflecting on thy family or any unfinished business thou mayst have. These thoughts will only serve to make thee sad. Seeing as how thou hast less than a minute left of conscious life, why waste it on regrets?"

        twow: Because this wasn’t their fault?

        Nightmare: Because they aren’t going to see them anymore?

        twow: Because of the rea-(smacked by Nightmare)

"Instead," Celestia added, as she masturbated furiously with both fore-hooves, "try to focus on the feeling of lightness that will begin to pervade thy body. Compare the cold numbness of thine extremities with the hot, active flow at thy throat. Notice how thy thoughts grow fuzzier as the blood and oxygen leaves thy body.

        twow: She’s like a twisted version of Bill Nye, the Science Guy.

 Feel the cramping of thy lungs as they struggle hopelessly for air while drowning in blood. These are the last sensations thou will ever have, so enjoy them."

        Nightmare: “I have a better idea. Why don’t YOU get into this position?”

        twow: “I wanna stab the white one!”

Celestia and Luna felt so proud of their benevolence. Who else but rulers as benign and generous as them would take the time while masturbating to try and cheer up dying ponies in their final moments?

        twow: Two sick ones?

        Nightmare: Well, this question wouldn’t exist if this story wasn’t HORRIBLE.

A lesser leader would deride or ignore those who were considered beneath them, but not Celestia and Luna. After all, having one's throat slit is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

        twow: YA DON’T SAY?

        Nightmare: Wow. Guess it was a lie when I was told you could get it slit twice.

 As far as the princesses were concerned, their servants should consider themselves lucky that the royal sisters were willing to teach them how to make the most of their slit throats.

        twow: And as we can see, the princesses have the mindset of Chucky.

The two blood-soaked alicorns surrendered themselves to the throes of unbridled pleasure as their bodies convulsed and were racked with multiple orgasms. Climaxes so obscene in their extravagance that it caused the princesses' eyes to roll up into their sockets as they slumped back into the tub in an ecstatic stupor.

        twow: Kinky?

        Nightmare: If you hadn’t said that in a question form...

Feminine ejaculate flowed fiercely out of their sopping wet marehoods and mingled in the shallow pool of blood.

        twow: Kinky. (brained by Nightmare)

        Steel (TV): An’ he’s outta there!

As Celestia and Luna lay there feeling lightheaded, the twins dangling overhead also felt lightheaded, but for a decidedly different reason.

The servants began to feel woozy from the loss of their own blood. They started to feel nauseous as the sickening, splattering sounds of their blood flow assaulted their ears.

        twow: I’d ask how they are still alive, but the story spared no expense in detailing it.

Steel: Given the progression of time since the first cut, I’d gauge it at about 7 minutes 20 seconds. It’s surprising how slowly time can go by in writing, given the time it takes to create a coherent thought...

In spite of being the last one cut, the severity of the pink mare's laceration resulted in her expiring first. Disregarding Luna's warning, the pink mare's final thoughts were of her sister, whom she loved.

        Nightmare: (sniffs)

        twow: Hang in there.

Her pink face was nearly white as all the blood had drained from it. Luna stared up into the pink mare's glassy, dead eyes and smiled as she was hit with another orgasm.

The blue mare didn't realize her sister was already dead. Somehow, whoever died first didn't matter too much to her at this point.

twow: Well yeah. It wasn’t a race, you were both fucked as soon as the bath water was ready.

 Lacking the energy to do anything anymore, the blue mare just stared straight ahead in the direction of the fire place. Her eyes began to get cloudy as the warm light of the fire danced before her. The mare's face was a pale blue, as her blood flow began to weaken.

        Nightmare: You mean when it died down?

        twow: Weaken is okay in my book.

"Somepony must have left the fire on, but turned off the heat," she thought groggily, "How else could I feel so cold?" The blue mare tried to focus her eyes as she stared at the painting of Celestia and Luna. She looked at the cold, frozen disc in the center of the image.

        twow: Invisible fire.

        Nightmare: Hate when that happens. I forgot to bring my non-existent fire hydrant.

"Cold," she thought, as oxygen rapidly left her brain, "Cold like me. I bet I'd be... happy there. Me... and my sister..."

The blue mare's head slumped down as her blood flow reduced to a trickle. Within seconds, both mares were dead.

        twow and Nightmare: FINALLY.

Much to Celestia and Luna's disappointment, the blood of one mare just wasn't enough to fill a bathtub. It would take at least four to do the job. The twins' blood had only managed to fill up their respective tubs one fourth of the way.

        twow: You could always downsize.

        Nightmare: Or die. I could live with that.

The two sisters sat in shallow pools of blood as they enjoyed the results of multiple explosive orgasms. Once their afterglows had ceased, the sisters got out of their tub and stood over a grate in the middle of the room. Celestia and Luna levitated the kettles of water over their heads and poured it on themselves.

        twow: Now that’s a bath.

        Nightmare: But...they forgot the bubbles...

 The water, like the twins, was now slightly above room temperature. The contents of the kettles washed the blood off of their coats and spiraled down the drain. Once they had cleaned themselves, the sisters untied the twins' bodies from the ceiling.

        twow: And ate them.

        Nightmare: TWOW!

        twow: What?! That many orgasms would make me want a snack!

        Steel (TV): (Hiding under the table.) 11... 12... 13...

Wrapping their bodies completely in the sashes, Celestia and Luna levitated the corpses over to the mantle and disposed of them in the large fireplace. The flames roared to life as new fuel was added to it.

In a similar fashion, the mares' virgin blood acted as a sort of fuel for the princesses.

        twow: Because food isn’t an option.

        Nightmare: Or water. Or air. Or heat. Or-

        twow: We get it Nightmare.

 Celestia held up an exquisite mirror to admire her reflection. It was difficult to judge which side held more beauty. The back, which was encrusted with dozen of precious stones; or the mirrored side, which displayed Celestia's radiant face in all her terrible glory.

        Nightmare: He got the “terrible” part right.

        twow: He just forgot to detail that the entire alicorn was terrible.

The royal sisters watched their reflections as the wrinkles in the corners of their eyes disappeared and a youthful countenance returned to their faces.

During their reign, Celestia and Luna had tortured and murdered more than twenty five thousand virgins.

        Nightmare: WHAT.

        twow: What the fuck?! WHAT THE FUCK?!

        Steel (TV): Damn it. 1... 2... 3...

        twow: It was OVA NINE THOUSAAAAA- (thrown by Nightmare)

That's only counting the mares who died in order for the sisters to preserve their youth and beauty. Countless more were raped, sexually abused and gruesomely killed by the princesses in creative ways during the last eon. The chief motivation for these acts was the spontaneous sexual climaxes the royal sisters experienced while committing these atrocities.

        Nightmare: SOMEONE WILL BURN FOR THIS.

        twow: This story makes me want to stay a virgin.

The next morning two mares were walking the streets of Canterlot, trying to hide their identities. After botching their most recent job with the Canterlot Decency Squad, their former employers wanted to punish them for failing to carry out their duties.

        twow: With rape.

        Nightmare: Really, twow?

twow: You just SAW what happened. Do you think that anything in this universe is sound?

        Nightmare: True...

        Steel (TV): I read it, soooo... no, nothing is sound.

A cream-colored earth pony walked along side her friend, a mint-colored unicorn. Both of them wore cloaks to hide their faces. The earth pony apologized profusely.

        twow: That would be Lyra and Bon Bon, respectively.

"I'm sorry I arranged for us to take that last job," the earth pony said, ashamedly, "When the Canterlot Decency Squad asked for ponies who were willing to tie up and burn faggots, I, of course, thought they meant bundles of sticks."

        twow: I thought they meant cream puffs.

        Nightmare: I assumed that it was happy ponies.

The mint unicorn gave an exasperated sigh due to her marefriend's naivety.

"It's a good thing those fanatics never discovered our forbidden love, or else we would've met a fate similar to those who burned," the unicorn said in a serious tone.

        twow: Hid it well, you did.

        Nightmare: As long as they didn’t sit on a bench.

 The two mares gave a moment of silence in respect for the dead. After a few moments, the earth pony broke the silence to express her admiration for her marefriend's courage.

"I was so proud of you when you set the colt cuddlers and filly foolers free," the earth pony said, "Instead of burning the prisoners, you helped them to escape."

        twow: Ugh.

        Nightmare: What?

        twow: Hate those names. So rude. And it’s alliteration.

"What I did was nothing special," the unicorn said, modestly, "You're the clever one! After I freed the prisoners you created effigies to be burned in their place."

"It wasn't so clever, considering I made the decoys out of melons," the earth pony said, embarrassed, "The squad's captain was able to tell the difference between a bunch of fruits and a bunch of fruits shaped like ponies."

        twow: What.

        Nightmare: Really?!

        twow: You are all fired from breathing! Please, take your things and quietly exit LIFE.

"Now we're wanted by fanatics and out of work," the unicorn said, gloomily, "We need a new job; preferably one where we can hide from our enemies."

The cream-colored mare stopped to read a recently posted help wanted sign, which bore the official Canterlot Castle seal.

        twow: Need to hang a big warning sign there.

        Nightmare: “Caution: Living in this city will increase your chance of death by 96%”

"Here's an ad for potential vocation!" the earth pony said excitedly, "Two mares are needed to prepare the royal baths for the princesses. Applicants are required to have never known a stallion. Apply within the castle." The earth pony turned excitedly to her marefriend.

"We've never known a stallion!" the cream-colored mare said eagerly,

        twow: Wonder why.

        Nightmare: The story just SAID-

        twow: Sarcasm, Nightmare.

 "Do you know how few ponies actually see the princesses? If we stick close to them, nopony will see us either! We can hide from our enemies inside the castle! It's the last place they'd think to look! We could take the job at the palace and shower the princesses with hospitality!"

        twow: (laughing uncontrollably)

        Nightmare: And I’m the insane one.

        Steel (TV): At least I’m the drunk one.

The mint unicorn squinted at the sign then looked up at the castle.

        twow: “Let’s just go back to the fanatics.”

"Why not?" the unicorn said, "It can't be any worse than our last job."

        twow: (singing)  “You better get ready to die...”

        Nightmare: (singing) “You better get ready to run, cause here we coooome...”

        Pinkie: I think you two are finished now.

        Pinkie: (from TV) Are you two okay?

        twow: I really just about lost my mind there.

        Luna: twow, I am sorry for my lack of control.

        twow: You’re alright now, then?

        Luna: Better than I was.

Steel (TV): Your Highness, if I might add? I read this story in its entirety after about Chapter 2 in Twow’s riffing. I single-handedly axehandled a table in half, broke my wrist on one of the trees in the orchard, and nearly put a mare in the hospital with a folding chair. You’re quite under control, even as Nightmare Moon.

Luna: And did you say that this was Chapter Six twow?

twow: Yup. I’ve gone through five chapters of this shit.

Luna: Pinkie Pie, why are you putting your friend through this?

Pinkie: It’s not ME, Princess. It’s your nephew!

Luna: WHAT.

twow: He got pissy because I talked shit about him, and I’ve been forced to read this story ever since.

Luna: Is this true, Blueblood?

Blueblood: Well...uh...you see...

Steel: Can we hit him with lead pipes and rusty sawblades now? (Has been quite sober for a while now.)

twow: That would be so much fun.

Luna: (sighing) I will deal with you back at the castle. In the meantime, twow, could I have a drink?

twow: (distracted) Sure, there’s a water bottle on the desk.

Pinkie: T, isn’t that the...

twow: Shit. Luna, wait!

(Luna drinks from the bottle and vanishes.)

twow: Damn it! NOW it fucking works!

Steel (TV): Well, Twow, look on the bright side. (Grins evilly at Blueblood) No ‘Auntie Luna’ to get between us and you during our fun time after the story, Blueblood.

twow: And remember Fallen’s threat, Blueblood?

Blueblood: Yes...

twow: Luna just lost it. I remember Fallen saying that better not happen to anymore of his friends, am I right?

Blueblood: Yes, but she doesn’t remember it now! Isn’t that what that drink does?

twow: Oh yes. But you see, it’s not done yet. So her memories, will come back to her.

Blueblood: ...

Steel (TV): Damn it.

twow: Oh yeah. Don’t worry Steel. We still get to beat the fuck out of him.

Steel (TV): Ohhhh yes. My wrist should be better by the time the story’s done... Blueblood puts a day or two between each of these chapters. May ask one of the ponies around town to help with my swing...

Pinkie: Go and rest T. I have a bad feeling that you might need it.

twow: I will. See you guys a bit later.

Steel: Aye.

*BUZZ*

twow: I’ve got break sign!