It was eight months since Hope died.

Trixie had long since felt bad for what happened with Gilda and Gustave that day. As much as she hated to admit it, she preferred her youth in Jennet over how her life had gone for over the past year. That may have been almost or just as unpleasant as the hardships she recently suffered, but at least there was a predictable pattern to it; she knew what to expect. Now, it seemed as if her whole world were thrust into chaos, the suffering only continually piling on in an endless stream of misfortunes unfurling before her whenever she was unprepared.

On that fateful morning, there were a few hours where Trixie thought she would never speak to them again; they thought so, too. The idea even followed her for days as she made her way to Jennet, but the closer she got to burying Hope, the more she realized her actions were out of blind rage, a misguided attempt to vent her frustrations gone horribly, terribly wrong. It wouldn't have been enough to simply find them again and apologize. She needed to take action. It was a tall order for her to add earning forgiveness from the two griffons to whom she was already so deeply emotionally indebted.

Even though she expected the worst, Trixie was surprised and relieved to find that her initial efforts of reconciliation and contact were not as bad as she feared they'd be. Resuming her traveling show that was postponed since joining the camp still proved financially fruitful, even though the quality of her performances suffered due to her emotional strain. She managed to scrimp and save every bit she earned until she was able to send Gilda an expensive, rare healing tonic specifically meant to aid her wings.

The griffon found this to be a touching gesture, but her cousin was furious that they remained in contact by mail. Even though the tonic was able to restore the functionality of Gilda's wings, it wasn't able to completely heal them, not to where she could fly as well as she once did. Not nearly well enough to become a Wonderbolt with Rainbow Dash, or to pursue any other dreams related to flying, to have even a chance of using them to strengthen ties between ponies and griffons or even earn several ponies' respect.

This had given Gilda mixed feelings towards Trixie, and, compounded with so many other troubles she endured for so long, birthed a serious anger management issue. Some days, she'd yell at Gustave as no one ever had before, and she would even get into heated altercations with random strangers over something as simple as an innocent mistake. It boiled to a head when three of the local guards in the town she stayed in tried to escort her out of a closing bar that she refused to leave. This ended with her blacking out and putting them in the hospital; Trixie wound up bailing her out of jail, under the condition that she undergo court-mandated anger management classes.

Gustave, however, was doing quite well for himself in his culinary endeavors. Gilda would have been glad for him, if it wasn't for the fact that he was doing it simply to spite Trixie. What once was a dream of his was now turning into an obsession that haunted and tortured him; where he would formerly have felt joy in the activity, there was now only emptiness and bitterness, the chef merely trying to convince himself it made him happy instead of that truly being the case.

In their letters to one another, Gilda was able to fill Trixie in on what became of the rest of the survivor camp after they all left. Fiona stayed with her and Gustave for some time, only to go on to live with Gilda's uncle, Arluin. The young griffon blamed herself for Hope's death, punishing herself by giving up on her dreams and settling for a life of mediocrity.

Perla and Tristan left together to find a new life, but unfortunately the comedienne's health started to fail as a result of her risky performances. Being a former alcoholic and an on-and-off sword swallower and fire dancer ended up giving her painful complications that slowly ate away at her life; in spite of the excruciating agony she regularly suffered, she rejoiced in that at least she and Tristan would not die much later than one another, so they could stay together pretty much to the end.

Adia, Renard and Roul were not heard from ever since they left. They were only able to guess as to what fates the three griffons encountered; hopefully, nothing bad had happened on their journey to find new lives. Gilda and Trixie shared concern for whether or not Renard would ever be able to find his family again, and if the others were safe as well.

Finally, there came a time where Gilda and Trixie realized they had a mutual desire to bury the hatchet and reinvigorate their friendship. Both were apologetic and forgiving of any transgressions shared between one another, longing for a simpler, nicer time when they were both younger and never got in any fights. So, after figuring out one another's schedules for the near future, they concluded that they could meet together in Ponyville on Hope's birthday to make up for lost time. Gilda was going to be seeing an old friend, Rainbow Dash, there in the first place, and Trixie had never performed in the town before, so she figured she might as well go.

That was still four months away.

The sparks fizzled and died out, barely making it past her horn.

Trixie winced and cringed, visibly uncomfortable. Her ears lowered as she shrank from the boos of her audience in Baltimare.

"T-Trixie's just having a few magical difficulties -- give her a moment, please!"

"We came here to see a magic show, not a magic flop!"

"Yeah!"

The crowd continued jeering and clamoring angrily and impatiently. The showmare squinted her eyes shut, trying to force herself to relax and focus, but her efforts kept falling short.

'If only that crowd could be quiet for just a minute -- I'll entertain them, as soon as they let me have time to --'

Her thoughts were interrupted by the harsh smack of a tomato hitting her face, exploding on her muzzle and squirting it's juices everywhere. Trixie exclaimed, her concentration broken as her headache worsened. She stumbled about the stage, trying to wipe the tomato juice from her eyes with a forehoof, causing some of the audience members to laugh.

Soon, more of them started throwing whatever they had onto the stage, hurling more insults and complaints with them, showering the unicorn in a barrage of food, garbage and random objects.

"Pfft! 'Great and Powerful' my flank!"

"You're wasting our time!"

"I want my money back!"

"You call yourself a performer?"

Overwhelmed, Trixie's haplessness and dismay slowly twisted into anger. She barely opened her eyes, shielding her face with her forehooves, glaring at the unruly audience.

'You want a show? I'll give you a show.'

Slowly, she found the focus and energy to resume placing effort in her magic. This time, she was able to tune completely into it and drown out the hectic commotion of her hecklers, letting it build and strengthen. The unicorn continued placing more strain on her horn, feeling a headache and nosebleed coming on once more.

'It's not enough. I need more.'

The painful sensations intensified.

'More.'

It spread across her skull, a splintering, stinging pain.

'DAMN IT, I NEED MORE!'

It grew into a searing, white hot burning agony.

Finally, the showmare achieved her goal. After an excruciating effort, she conjured the image of a colossal, terrifying, lifelike cerberus, inhabiting the entire stage behind her, roaring and snarling at the hecklers with all three of it's hideous heads.

"Is this what you want?!? Are you entertained?!?" Trixie started to trot back and forth across the stage, surveying the audience's horrified reactions. "Or is this not good enough, either?!? Does it not feel real to you?!? Do you need to witness firsthoof the sensations of being crushed beneath it's feet or eviscerated by it's fangs? Tell me! TELL ME!"

They screamed in unison as the three heads lashed out hungrily. The cerberus leapt off the stage, into the middle of the crowd... Only to vanish before it could touch anyone.

Trixie hissed and panted, exhausted and furious. "Maybe next time you go to a show, you'll be a little more patient..." she growled. "You have no idea how hard it is to please you ungrateful jerks... If any of you were here on this stage instead of me, you wouldn't have the guts to even try... Now, go back to your homes, you inconsiderate curs!" the unicorn promptly galloped off of the stage, kicking over everything and everyone in her path, quitting the performance in a fit of rage.

It was all over the newspapers.

She should have known she couldn't have had that outburst without running into some form of trouble, but her emotions got the better of her in the heat of the moment. The extent to which she disturbed the peace would have given her jail time if she wasn't able to prove to the guards that the cerberus was an entirely fake illusion and that the audience was never in any real danger. That didn't stop her from having to pay a hefty fine, and becoming an infamous media circus in the local area, but at least she would soon get to move on to the next town and the next show, and try to put it behind her. Trixie hoped that the news of this incident wouldn't follow her, but she grimly realized it was quite likely.

The unicorn quietly breathed a sigh of relief as soon as she was allowed to leave. When she started to walk out, she was suddenly stopped by one of the guards.

The stallion couldn't have been much older than her, and glared as if he were looking at some unforgivable scoundrel. "You might have been lucky enough to weasel your way out of a proper sentence this time, but the next chance I get to bust you for something in this town, I promise I'll jump right on it. There weren't just mares and stallions in that crowd. You could have easily scared those elderly ponies to death, and you probably traumatized those poor fillies and colts for the rest of their lives. I don't know what it was that turned you into such a witch, but whatever it was, I'm glad that it happened to you, because you deserved it."

After he finished speaking, he got out of the way of Trixie's path, legally obligated to let her go freely. The showmare stewed in silent fury at his words, taking a moment to compose herself so she didn't break yet another law. Shortly afterwards, she finally left.

It was tempting to lash out at that guard, to inform him of how he had no idea what she went through, and how coldhearted he was to say what he said. But she didn't need to do anything, or find any form of vengeance. She'd gotten to peek at his thoughts for just a moment -- just long enough, just far enough, to know what she wanted to know, and that satisfied her and calmed her down.

She was delighted in the discovery that this stallion was living a miserable life as well, and acted partially as a result of that.

She was also amused to find out that if he had to go through what she did, he couldn't take it. He would kill himself.

She smiled, until she remembered that was exactly what she would to do, if only she could.

Weeks later, in another town, Trixie found herself blindfolded, upside down, chained, and submerged in water. This wasn't even a performance, but merely an audition.

She couldn't continue her traditional act, since her failing magic would disappoint her audiences to the point of rioting, which she couldn't afford to have happen again after her last one. So, instead, she reinvented her act with a method that was theoretically always possible for her, she had just never attempted or thought of it. She would abuse the magic linked to her survival instinct to help her easily accomplish deadly or normally impossible stunts and tricks.

The unicorn believed the judges would surely be impressed as she escaped from the trap with just her forelegs, wearing a restraint on her horn that kept her voluntary magic from aiding her for the duration. She wouldn't even have a curtain in front of the water chamber like most performers did, but allow the viewers to see everything, so they could know she was genuine and wasn't relying on cheap tricks.

Someday, when she practiced such routines alone, she hoped that some mistake or overwhelming amount of danger might bypass her involuntary magic and finally allow her to die.

The showmare didn't want to perish before witnesses, however. The least she could do about it was be tasteful.

As her forelegs finally slipped free, she winced in discomfort at holding her breath for so long. She instinctively pulled her blindfold off, immediately regretting it; it would have been more impressive to perform the whole trick entirely sightless, but she could try that again with paying spectators later. She briefly got a glimpse of the three judges, noticing the stallion seemed unimpressed, irritated, or both. Trixie's ears lowered, figuring her mistake put him off. Her eyes raised to the chains she was still otherwise bound in, starting to undo them further with her forelegs. She scolded herself with the reminder that it was more impressive if she wasn't looking at them, so she turned her eyes back to the judges.

The stallion wasn't there anymore.

Trixie became so upset that her raw magic burnt through the restraint on her horn, destroying it. She forced herself to teleport out of the water container, now being completely dry, and stomped out of the room, ignoring the remaining two judges' pleas to wait.

She soon caught up with the stallion who was walking down the hall.

"You! How dare you walk out on my performance before I'm finished! If you don't want to accept me, that's fine, but the least you could do is have the courtesy to sit and watch the whole damn thing!"

The judge turned to face her, looking equally confrontational. "I saw everything I needed to see! You have no regard for your own safety, and by extension none for that of your audience, either! That's not just unprofessional, that's morally reprehensible! I'd have you banned from ever stepping on a stage again if it was up to me!" With that, he stormed off.

Trixie froze, stunned by his rebuttal. She'd internally made a point to herself long ago that even if she didn't care what happened to her, she'd never want to hurt anyone else, yet she never considered the possibility of her shows doing this before. She sighed in defeat, wrought with mixed feelings, all of them unpleasant.

She left without even seeing whether or not the remaining two judges would accept her show.

'How am I going to keep performing if I can't perform?'

Trixie lay in the lonely silence of her caravan for hours.

'I tried to do my shows the way I always did, and I messed it up every single time, each worse than the last. I tried to do something new, and then I was told it was too dangerous and wrong. Is there nothing I can do? Was this all just some delusional dream I finally have to wake up from?'

The young mare was chilled with lament. Her plight bothered her not because being a showmare was something she always wanted, but because she feared not living up to Hope's expectations and honoring her memory.

The unicorn wished she could find some form of medicine or enchanted item to augment her magic and compensate for its disability, but no matter where she looked, there were none to be found. In her desperate searches, spending hours in even the seediest cesspits, she heard rumors of an Alicorn Amulet that would fortify one's magical ability to a godly status, but at a great cost. She didn't care what happened to her as long as she could fulfill the role she claimed to hold. Anything was worth being as good as Hope truly believed her to be. Knowing her luck, she figured the Alicorn Amulet didn't even exist, or if it did, she could never get it.

Trixie squinted her eyes shut, trying to keep herself from crying. She sighed, getting out of her bed and pacing around her caravan.

'I can't just stop. I need to fulfill the promise I made to Hope. There has to be something, anything I can do to make this work... I've been in bad spots before, I should be able to get out of this one, too... I just... Need something...'

Finally, she paused as soon as she faced her nightstand, looking right at her most precious possession.

The tears fought harder for freedom as she continued to gaze into the nostalgic reminder. If she could, she would have used her magic to restore the picture to when it was good as new, just after she autographed it. But her emotions hadn't been peaceful enough for her to do that.

Surely, she could at least simply levitate it.

'... You're stronger than all of this... You're The Great And Powerful Trixie!' Hope's voice echoed in her memory.

Trixie started to cast a basic levitation spell, trying to move the picture. The bittersweet feelings it evoked caused her to struggle; as each moment passed, she only felt her head hurting even more, while the photograph never budged an inch. She pressed on, refusing to believe she had become this weak, only for her to run out of energy with yet another nosebleed. The picture remained completely still.

The unicorn cried, disheartened by how completely useless she felt.

Over the weeks, Trixie continuously meditated until she was able to reach a state of quiet, stoic contentment. Content, but not satisfied. She had come to accept, not enjoy, what she thought her life was probably going to be like for its remaining duration. All it boiled down to was to condition herself to simply stop wanting so much. She never cared that much about bits before, but now she would never even set any aside for her own personal leisure, using them only either to sustain her shows, save for Gilda and Gustave, or give to other causes anonymously.

Even simple pleasures that were free were completely ignored. She'd no longer indulge in the beautiful splendor of the night sky, or go for walks just to enjoy herself, or anything of the sort. The more she desired, the more she would only end up becoming further hurt and disappointed. The unicorn tried to extinguish all of her optimism and wants, knowing far better by now the things in store for her if she fostered these things at all.

Not even the return of Princess Luna, as Celestia had promised, brought her any joy. Once, she would have rushed to meet the night princess at the first chance. Now that she had finally come back to rule in Canterlot after resolving her justified anger, even becoming generally accepted by most Equestrians as opposed to before, Trixie would not seek her out. It wasn't that she didn't want to meet Luna, or that her feelings about her had changed at all. She merely believed she did not deserve to be in Luna's presence or earn her recognition, and that the goddess would be ashamed of her and despise her. As far as she was concerned, they would never meet, regardless of how much she would like the reverse to be true.

Now that her magic had improved, only enough to remain functional, she resumed performing, toning her act down to the point of being a generic magician's folly. It felt humiliating and embarrassing, to be reduced to only being capable of a beginner's talents, but Trixie knew (or at least believed) that even this was way too good for her; anything good about her clearly only came from Hope, Gilda, and Gustave.

In addition to this, she had spent many weeks painstakingly trying to enchant the benign lachrylus holding her cape together, so that it legitimately carried the magical traits that legends espoused it to hold. The goal was for her to use such a function to improve her magical abilities by moderating her emotions automatically. Unfortunately, she was only able to enchant it to the point of limiting her emotional expression, without actually decreasing any of the actual severity, thus being indifferent to her actual magical capabilities. When wearing it, her rage would become annoyance, her sorrow would become minor disappointment, her fear would become a slight discomfort... But only to those looking at her. She would still feel the full brunt of every emotion in their genuine authenticity.

Even with her acting experience, this also resulted in her showmare persona coming off apathetic if she didn't force extra effort into trying to maintain its false sense of confidence. Because she tried to compensate by wildly exaggerating, lest she come off unenthused and uninteresting, this caused some of the inevitable hecklers to believe her to be some arrogant braggart with an ego the size of the sun.

Trixie preferred it that way. It was so much better for them to believe her to be that than for them to know the truth; that she was actually something much worse. A whining, worthless loser completely unable to protect anyone that she ever cared about, only hurting them whenever she tried to help and letting them all down no matter what she did. She started to believe what her sister said all those years ago was right all along; her cutie mark was not for bringing peace, but taking good things and twisting them into something awful. Her entire existence revolved around experiencing and creating suffering, whether or not she tried to escape it or help others do the same. The road to Tartarus was paved with good intentions, and she personally laid down every brick.

In spite of it all, there was one other thing that helped her feel good enough to keep her magic functional. Soon, she would be seeing Gilda in Ponyville, and together they would take the first step to repairing their friendship back to the way it always was before. The unicorn reluctantly dared to have some small hope that perhaps this could be the start of fixing the rest of her life, that perhaps once she and her lifelong best friend truly reunited, everything else would gradually fall into place, one by one.

It was almost time.

The note fell onto the floor of Trixie's caravan as she sighed in disappointment.

She came to Ponyville expecting to meet Gilda, only for her not to be there. When she went to the hotel where they were supposed to get rooms, the only greeting she got from the griffon was a note left behind with the receptionist. It explained that Gilda unfortunately had a bitter falling out with Rainbow Dash, and she went back to Gustave so that she could cool down without running into the pegasus again.

The unicorn felt saddened that she didn't at least wait to say hi to her for the first time in months, but she could understand where she was coming from. She decided she would write to Gilda to arrange for them to meet another time in the near future, but first, she was going to perform in Ponyville.

'I've never done a show here before. Who knows? Maybe it might go very well...'

The thoughts she probed herself with were mostly to work up the courage to still go through with it. Gilda's absence was a convenient excuse for her to cancel, but she already scheduled this with Ponyville's Mayor Mare months in advance, and she thought it would have been awfully rotten of her to back out right at the last minute.

But it was mostly important because it was Hope's birthday. If there ever was a time to honor the filly's memory, it would be then. She would not only perform today, but return to a routine that she had abandoned for what felt like so long ago. This show would have tricks requiring volunteers, allowing them to display their most passionate talents for the rest of the audience so they could see how wonderful they truly were. On top of everything else, it was going to be a free charity show.

'I'll go see Gilda after all this is done... I swear. She'll understand.'

In the hours leading up to Hope's tribute, Trixie found herself surprised at how much she enjoyed Ponyville's pleasant atmosphere. She simply walked throughout the town, taking in all the sights, noticing the generally cheery demeanor of most of the ponies. She almost laughed out of surprise when a small idea in the back of her mind suggested she move here, as if the peaceful calm of it's citizens would rub off on her somehow. Even though she doubted it would help her that much, it still didn't seem like a terribly bad idea.

None of the ponies here recognized her, since she wasn't wearing the hat and cape she was often associated with, choosing to keep the lachrylus tied within her mane once more for now. Everywhere she looked, the ponies were kind and friendly to one another, whether they were neighbors or even complete strangers. The warm, homely hospitality surrounding Ponyville caused the unicorn to feel nostalgic for a time when she'd see a certain filly and her parents once a month, in the village she grew up in, gradually turned from a slum full of outcasts to a haven for Lunar Loyalists where they could feel no shame or rejection. She was glad she wore the lachrylus, or else those she passed might have noticed homesick tears.

In her unexpected detour spent appreciating the town's graceful serenity, Trixie suddenly noticed that she would have to prepare for the show very soon. Embarrassed with how distracted she became, she started to discreetly hurry back to her traveling caravan in the town square, trying not to draw too much attention to herself.

"I'm so excited that Trixie finally came here!" a young colt exclaimed off in the distance.

The showmare paused, taken by surprise once more. This was the first time she heard anything about her presence since her arrival. Curiously, she looked to the source of the speech, seeing two unicorn colts several yards away. One was short and stocky with a grayish opal coat, the other tall and lanky with a golden coat.

"Yeah!" the taller one replied to his friend. "We've been waiting for her to come to Ponyville forever!"

"I heard she's finally going to do those volunteer tricks again! We're in luck! After she brings us on stage and we show them all what we can do, Diamond Tiara will stop bullying us!"

The young mare smiled, finding the colts' appreciation of her to be heartwarming. She made a mental note to herself to remember to invite them to volunteer, and then continued back on her way to get ready.

In less than five minutes, Trixie was going to perform for Ponyville for the first time. For so long, she viewed every show with apprehension, gripped with anxiety before each performance, but this time was different. For the first time in her recent memory, she felt so sure that this show was going to be just fine. Even though she had been so wrought over her ultimate fate, the unicorn's memories of Hope were empowering her with how happy they always made each other, and what a difference there was in their lives with one another. She knew she could never do anything to fully repay Hope for all that she did for her, but she would at least try with this tribute.

Her nerves were seized with excitement as she heard the chatter of dozens of ponies just outside of her caravan, waiting for her to appear. The young mare promised herself she wouldn't disappoint them, and would perform just as she had with Hope by her side. Watching the clock tick away, her moment growing ever closer, she smiled and closed her eyes before conjuring a bouquet of Jennet Orchids, taking in their scent.

'This is for you, Hope. Happy birthday.'

Her moment arrived.

"Come one, come all! Come and witness the amazing magic of The Great And Powerful Trixie!"

As the showmare proclaimed her stage name, her caravan started to unfold into a stage as it had done so many times. She teleported from behind the curtains onto the stage, emerging through a puff of dark smoke and glittering sparkles, greeting the audience with a warm smile.

The audience responded in kind with several "ooh"s and "aah"s, mouths agape in astonishment at the unexpected double function of her caravan, and her dramatic entrance.

"Watch in awe as The Great And Powerful Trixie performs the most spectacular feats of magic ever witnessed by pony eyes!" she posed triumphantly, using her horn to make sparks and fireworks go off from the stage and play fanfare from behind the curtains.

A white unicorn mare in the front row leered, unimpressed. "My, my, my! What boasting!" she remarked, rolling her eyes.

'... I'm just starting, miss... I'm playing a role, I'm supposed to look impressive...' Trixie thought to herself, put off with immediately being heckled before even being given a chance.

"There's nothing wrong with being talented, is there?" A lavender unicorn asked.

"Nothing at all," an orange earth pony with a cowboy hat replied.

Trixie quietly released a sigh of relief under her breath. She conjured the Jennet Orchids once more and took in their scent, both to help herself calm down and to impress the audience.

"Except when someone goes around showin' it off like a school filly with fancy new ribbons," the orange mare suddenly added.

'Great. Another one, pretending to be compassionate.'

"Just because one has the ability to perform lots of magic does not make one better than the rest of us," the white unicorn continued.

'I know that,' Trixie thought, becoming further irritated.

"Especially when ya got me around being better than the rest of us!" a cyan pegasus chimed. "Yeah! Magic, schmagic! Boo!"

The showmare grimaced uncomfortably. She was ready to take these insults in stride, to simply continue with her performance as planned. She wanted to please the more appreciative ponies in the audience who were respectfully watching a show; if she could win over these hecklers with her talents, and by showing them her modesty and humility as well, that would simply be an added bonus. Their rudeness wasn't going to ruin Hope's tribute.

But then, something turned all of that around. Something that, for Trixie, froze time in a mere moment, making a single instant feel like forever. Something she saw that she hadn't seen in over a year. Something that made her blood boil.

'A dragon.'

Her eyes briefly rested on him, a small, young one with purple and green scales, evoking a miniaturized image of Pain or Blaze.

'Celestia should round up all of you worthless scalebacks and send you into the sun to burn and suffer forever. You and your whole kind are good for nothing but causing pain and misery.'

If it weren't for the lachrylus reigning in her emotional expressions, she would have leapt off the stage and galloped at full speed to stab his throat with her horn.

'I'll give you visions so nightmarish that you'll claw through your eyes to shred apart your brain just to end them, you savage little devil. I'll torture you in ways that will make you beg for me to stop, but what you need the most is what you want the least.'

She just as briefly surveyed the minds of those closest surrounding him, flabbergasted and horrified at how they could so easily tolerate his presence, as if he were one of them.

'How... Dare you all treat this thing like it's a pony?!? Like it deserves kindness, mercy, and compassion?!? You blind fools!!! Just wait and see!!! He'll grow to become a tyrannical, heartless monster, stealing away from you everything that he can, simply because he wants to! He'll crush and destroy your town and slaughter you all! One day you'll see that I'm right, and you'll all be sorry! You'll wish that you would all have stomped on this useless filth until you sent him to Tartarus where he belongs! I'll show you. I'll show you all.'

Suddenly, the show wasn't important anymore. She had a monster to deal with. But she couldn't just up and confront him to expose him for what she thought he really was. She'd have to discourage and dishearten him, and all those who befriended him, to the point of breaking their spirits so that no one would want to associate themselves with him, and he could not bring himself to harm anyone. Trixie decided to do it under the guise of simply responding in kind to her hecklers; it was the perfect excuse. And, just like that, time resumed for her once more.

"Well, well, well... It seems we have some naysayers in the audience! Who is so ignorant as to challenge the ability of The Great And Powerful Trixie?!?" she proclaimed, raising her forelegs in an angry, accusatory manner. "Do they not know that they are in the presence of the most magical unicorn in all of Equestria?!?" she bellowed.

The white unicorn blew a raspberry. "Just who does she think she is?"

"Yeah! Since we all know that Twilight here is --"

"Spike! Shh!" the lavender unicorn started pushing the young dragon to the back of the crowd.

Trixie smirked, finding that her plan was already starting to work.

'Yes, dragon. You may have fooled them all with your supposed "innocence", but you haven't fooled me. Trixie sees through your disguise and knows what you really are, you monster.'

She posed triumphantly, setting off her fireworks and fanfare once more.

The cyan pegasus leered at her, suddenly taking to her wings and bolting onto the stage, stopping just short of tackling Trixie head-on and hovering right in front of her. She leaned her face inches away from the showmare's, nudging her hat with her forehead, getting up close and personal.

"So, 'Great And Powerful Trixie', what makes you think you're so awesome, anyway?"

Trixie briefly scanned her mind once more, amused by what she found.

'So, this is Rainbow Dash... The one who sent Gilda away after everything she's been through... To think either one of us ever thought so highly of her! And she's under the influence of that damned creature, as well? I'll show her to hurt my best friend and think she can get away with it. You'll be sorry, you lout.'

The showmare chuckled, briefly rubbing her forehead with a hoof as it started to hurt, fixing her hat in the process. "Why, only The Great And Powerful Trixie has magic strong enough to vanquish the dreaded Ursa Major!"

She used some of the horns on her stage normally reserved for fanfare to shoot flames and fireworks into the sky, exploding into an image of the gargantuan beast to which she referred.

The audience released many startled and astounded "whoa"s.

"What?" Snips chimed.

"No way!" Snails added.

"When all hope was lost, the ponies of Hoofington had no one to turn to, but The Great And Powerful Trixie stepped in, and with her awesome magic, vanquished the Ursa Major, and sent it back to it's cave, deep within the Everfree Forest!"

As she recounted Hope's tale, Trixie conjured an image of herself defeating the Ursa Major, erasing it with a widespread stream of magic coming from a wand.

"SWEET!" the unicorn colts idolizing her exclaimed in unison.

"That settles it!" Snips claimed.

"Trixie truly is the most talented, most magical, most awesome unicorn in Ponyville!" Snails yelled.

"No! In all of Equestria!" Snips added.

"How do you know?!? You didn't see it!!!" the dragon complained.

The showmare laughed at his distress. "It's true, my enthusiastic little admirers! Trixie is most certainly the best in Ponyville!"

The audience remained silent at her insult to their collective entirety.

'I may not be anything special, but even someone as low as me knows better than to trust a bucking dragon. You're a whole village full of idiots.'

"Don't believe The Great And Powerful Trixie?" she chuckled. "Well, then, I hereby challenge you, Ponyvillians; anything you can do, I can do better! Any takers? Anyone? Or is Trixie destined to be the greatest equine who has ever lived?!?" she triumphantly posed with another burst of fireworks and fanfare, glaring right at the dragon once she stood back on all fours.

The dragon fell to the ground before the lavender unicorn beside him, clutching her forehooves. "Ple-e-ease! She's unbearable! You gotta show her! You just gotta!" he cried desperately.

'That little demon is so annoying. I want to teleport his dark, cold heart out of his scaly little body and eat it right in front of him.'

She started to survey her audience, looking for potential challengers. "Hmm... How about..." her eyes rested on the orange mare who heckled her earlier, who was now glaring at her. She quickly pointed her forehoof right at her. "You?" Trixie started to walk towards the edge of the stage. "Well, how about it, hmm? Is there anything you can do that The Great And Powerful Trixie can't?" she felt her eye twitch during the confrontational address. "Well, little hayseed?"

"That's it! I can't stand for no more of this!" she exclaimed in reply.

"You show her, AJ!" the dragon encouraged her.

The earth pony quickly got onto the stage, promptly tying a lasso to her tail that was previously concealed in her hat. "Can your magical powers do this?"

Initially, her tail quickly rotated in circles directly upward, enclosing herself within the range of the rapidly moving lasso. She smiled as she stood on one foreleg, lifting the circle directly above her. Standing back on all fours, her tail now twirled it behind her, and she started to play a form of jump rope with it by hopping through the circle as her tail brought it towards her back and forth, all the while still twirling at a blindingly fast pace.

The audience released an impressed "ooh" as she did this about four times, only to suddenly thrust her tail outward, casting the lasso away from her. It ensnared an apple on the nearest tree with perfect precision, only to promptly pull it back. The apple flew towards the mare, freeing itself from the lasso and landing right in her open mouth, all while her eyes were closed. She promptly chewed it to pieces and swallowed it all down.

The spectators cheered her on, offering compliments.

"Top that, missy!" the orange mare dared.

"Oh, ye of little talent... Watch and be amazed at the magic of Trixie!" the unicorn replied, levitating her hat above her as she spoke.

The earth pony's free, untied lasso simply laying limp on the ground slowly came to life, raising up before her eyes in serpentine motions as Trixie used an additional spell to make her hypnotized by it.

'Hmph. What a simpleton.'

She levitated the other end of the lasso to grab another apple from the same tree, pulling it towards her. The end closest to the earth pony suddenly coiled around all four of her legs, constricting them tightly and hogtying her. She exclaimed as Trixie pulled her hooves out from under her, roughly letting her fall onto the stage on her back before she placed the apple in her mouth, making her look like a complete fool.

The showmare then used another spell, one she'd first seen the Flim Flam Brothers do so many years ago, causing most of the audience to like her and cheer her on in spite of her cruel antics, intentionally letting the dragon's friends be unaffected by it with the intent of making them feel foolish as well.

The orange mare started to pitifully hop off the stage with all four of her legs bound together, struggling not to fall.

"Once again, The Great And Powerful Trixie prevails!"

Rainbow Dash furiously flew back onto the stage. "There's no need to go strutting around and showing off like that!" she barked.

"Oh?" Trixie smirked at her. 'You mean like you, you complete hypocrite?'

"That's my job!" she finished, flying off into the air to make a spectacle of herself.

'Ha -- I knew it.'

First, the pegasus bolted straight for a windmill off in the distance. She grabbed one of the four propellers and flew in rapid circles, causing it to spin at her blindingly fast pace, only to use it's momentum to rocket herself skyward towards the clouds. She pierced through nine clouds in a row like a bullet, promptly stopping for just a moment right by the sun as she posed confidently.

Rainbow immediately dove straight back down, perfectly speeding right through the holes she pierced through each cloud, causing several raindrops to follow after her. They continued to do so as she spun on the propellers of the windmill once more, this time using it to launch herself back to Trixie's stage. The pegasus came to an abrupt, miraculously safe stop on all four of her hooves, spreading her wings out and causing the raindrops to splash all over them, creating a small, sparkling rainbow directly above her head that stretched across her wingspan.

"They don't call me 'Rainbow' and 'Dash' for nothin'!" she espoused pridefully.

The crowd cheered her on, sincerely entertained with her impressive feat of flight, agility and weather manipulation.

Trixie grimaced. 'She thinks she's so superior to everyone else. She's so full of herself. She's just like Myrtle... To think that Gilda was ever friends with her. Perhaps it's only through the dragon's deception that she became so vile, but a mare must pay the price of the company she keeps...'

"When Trixie is through, the only thing they'll call you is 'loser'." the showmare cast a spell encasing the pegasus and the rainbow she created in a magical aura. The cyan mare paused in bewilderment as she noticed the rainbow starting to run circles around her. She exclaimed as she was suddenly encased by it, as if it became a physical construct, spinning out of control like a tornado as it flew haphazardly throughout the air.

"Whoa!!! Whoa!!! WHOA!!!"

It finally stopped, placing her almost upside down with her flank in the air as she finished spinning, looking visibly nauseated, dizzy, and uncomfortable. "I... Think I'm... Gonna be sick..."

"Seems like anypony with a dash of good sense would think twice before tussling with the Great Trixie!" the showmare proclaimed.

As the orange mare helped the shaky, distraught pegasus back to her hooves, Trixie conjured a dark cloud directly above and behind her, shocking her with a single thunderbolt that caused her mane and tail to stretch out.

"Ow!" Dash squealed.

Once again, Trixie's spell manipulating the crowd's minds in her favor caused them to laugh with her at her display of bullying.

The dragon was further frustrated. "What we need is another unicorn to challenge her! Someone with some magic of her own?"

"Yeah! A unicorn to show this unicorn who's boss!" Rainbow chimed, seeking retribution.

"A real unicorn-to-unicorn tussle!" the orange mare added.

The white unicorn who first heckled Trixie stepped forward, seemingly tired of the whole situation. "Enough. Enough, all of you! I take your hint, but Rarity is above such nonsense. Rainbow Dash and Applejack may behave like ruffians, but Rarity conducts herself with beauty and grace!"

'Yet another pony the dragon has infected with Myrtle's brand of arrogance... And they have the nerve to call me a braggart? Do none of these ponies ever look in the mirror?'

Trixie suddenly picked up on a new bit of information she found from surveying their minds. Something that only infuriated her even further.

'So, the dragon has not only driven my friend Gilda away from here, but he's manipulated these ponies into denying my goddess her rightful place?!? When she came here seeking justified retribution, they opposed her!!! They attacked her!!! Luna, who had never done anything to them but watch over their dreams and guard the night!!! The dragon has poisoned their souls, making them defy everything that is good and just!!! They forbid virtue and reward decadence!!!'

She recoiled, disgusted by the white mare's vanity. The showmare suddenly smirked, deciding she would use her own vanity against her.

"Ooh, what's the matter? Afraid to get a hair out of place in that rat's nest you call a mane?"

Just as she predicted, her tolerance immediately melted into confrontation the moment she heard the insult. "Oh... IT. IS. ON."

Rarity immediately got onto Trixie's stage, pacing around her. "You may think you're tough with all of your so-called powers, but there is more to magic than your brutish ways! A unicorn needs to be more than just muscle." She suddenly levitated one of the curtains on Trixie's stage towards herself, causing it to circle around her.

"A unicorn needs to have style!" after a blinding flash of light died down, the audience released awestruck "ooh"s at how she seemingly effortlessly and instantaneously gave herself a complete makeover, her mane and tail now taking on a more complex design, the shreds of the curtain turned into a dress adorned with golden decorations.

"A unicorn's not a unicorn without grace and beauty!" Rarity finished.

Trixie smirked as she started to cast her own spell.

'I'll show them what you really are, you fiend... For once in your life, your appearance will match the ugliness inside you...'

"Rarity won't let Trixie get the best of her!" the dragon claimed. "She's strong, she's beautiful..."

Once the showmare completed her task, the audience recoiled in horror.

"Quick! I need a mirror!" Rarity screamed. "Get me a mirror! What did she do to my hair?!? I know she did something terrible to my hair!"

"Nothing!" the lavender unicorn lied.

"It's fine!" Rainbow chimed.

"It's gorgeous!" Applejack added.

"It's green..." the dragon admitted. The three ponies glared at him. "What?"

Rarity started to cry. "No... Green hair... Not green hair!!!" she galloped off of the stage, presumably returning home to fix it. "Such an awful, awful color!" she yelled, sobbing off in the distance.

"Well, Twilight, I guess it's up to you!" the dragon said.

Trixie looked down at her lachrylus, blowing on her hoof and taking a moment to polish it.

"Come on, show her what you're made of!"

"What do you mean? I'm nothing special!" the lavender unicorn insisted.

"Yes, you are! You're better than her!"

"I'm not better than anyone!" Twilight replied, visibly uncomfortable.

Trixie misheard her. "Ha! You think you're better than The Great And Powerful Trixie? You think you have more magical talent?" she taunted, walking towards the edge of the stage. "Well, come on! Show Trixie what you've got! Show us all!"

"Who, me? I'm just your run of the mill citizen of Ponyville! No powerful magic here! I, uh... I think I hear my laundry calling! Sorry, gotta go!" Twilight nervously galloped away.

"Twilight?..." the dragon murmured, disheartened by her folding under pressure.

Trixie scoffed. "Once again, The Great And Powerful Trixie has proven herself to be the most amazing unicorn in all of Equestria! Was there ever any doubt?" with that, she walked behind what remained of the curtains, ending the show as her audience left.

'Those moronic Ponyvillains never deserved to see a real show, anyhow...'

She smirked as she noticed the dragon looking rather upset, folding his arms.

'Yes, beast. You may have fooled an entire village, but you won't fool me. I'm free from your corrupting influence. I remain pure.'

Later in the day, Trixie felt her mane was tangled, so she decided to brush it. In the hours before then, she originally felt so good about what she had done to hinder the dragon's spirits, but the more that time passed, the more she felt unsure about what she did. She wasn't even sure exactly what it was yet, she just knew that she didn't like the way that it felt. It seemed like she did something wrong; something very wrong.

While she was normally comfortable in the privacy and solitude of the inside of her caravan, it now felt claustrophobic and confining. She groaned in frustration, trying to find some way to remedy whatever it was that was plaguing her so. The only thing she could think of to figure out what was ailing her, and how to attain it's solution, was to talk to the magically conjured manifestation of her stage persona once more. So, she took her mirror outside of her caravan once she knew she'd be alone out there.

Staring into it, she was initially distracted by her somber expression. Even as she was wearing the lachrylus, the lingering sorrow that suddenly returned within her was too intense to completely contain; it had never happened before, but she figured that the overwhelming rage and fury she felt with the dragon in the audience might have started to put strain on the enchanted gem. This only made her more desperate to speak with her nonexistent, better half, wanting to solve this bewildering problem.

As she forced herself to focus back on her present task, Trixie started to cast the spell intended to reanimate her reflection once more, but she was too emotionally distraught for the spell to work right. She sighed in frustration, quickly deciding to give up on it; she could always try again another time. For the time being, she chose instead to brush her mane, closing her eyes. The unicorn was sure she would at least feel a little bit better once she was done; then, she could go back inside and try to rest. If the sleep alone wouldn't help her somehow, at least she'd experience nice dreams.

Suddenly, a cup on a plate appeared right before her muzzle.

"Here's your smoothie you asked for! With extra hay, just how you like it!" the stocky colt idolizing her explained.

"Mmm... Hay..." his lanky friend added.

The showmare recoiled in bewilderment, recognizing the young unicorns from earlier. Her knee-jerk reaction was to politely decline, but she figured that it would help with her stress, so instead she accepted the hay smoothie, starting to drink it. She wondered how they knew she liked that particular beverage, until she remembered that they probably read it in one of the magazine interviews she did a long time ago.

Once she noticed the two colts were still there, she stopped. "Yes?" she asked curtly. She immediately felt bad for being so rude as to not even thank them, but she was very distraught and wanted to be left alone; she was just glad the lachrylus was keeping them -- and anyone else -- from seeing how miserable she really felt.

The colts' eyes gleamed in excitement, thrilled to be in Trixie's presence.

"Oh, tell us another story, Great And Powerful Trixie!"

"Yeah! Tell us about how you vanquished the Ursa Major!"

Once again, time froze for her.

'...These colts... They look up to me so much... Just like...'

Her heart sank, and she felt profoundly depressed, more so than earlier. If it weren't for the lachrylus, she would have burst into tears.

'I don't deserve their recognition... Their admiration... All they see is a lie, a role, an act... They don't know me for what I really am...'

Trixie started to wonder why she even brought up Hope's tale in the show; it wasn't true, but then again, neither was almost anything she ever did whenever she performed. She figured that it was an emotional reaction provoked by the dragon's presence.

'If I show them the truth... That I'm really so awful... Maybe I won't hurt and disappoint them like I did for so many others... I don't want to keep stringing them along with my false promises only so they can suffer all the more when they find out it's just a sick, stupid joke... Better for them to find out now when they hardly know me rather than later on...'

She wanted to scream at them, to cruelly tell them to leave her alone and never come back, that she never wanted to see them again, but she couldn't bring herself to. Even if she could have, the lachrylus was still repressing the true depth and extent of how she felt whenever she expressed herself.

The showmare sighed. "Trixie is far too exhausted from performing feats beyond imagination... Begone with you until morning..."

The colts were initially put off, but this didn't seem to diminish their appreciation of her at all. They merely bowed respectfully to her, continuing to do so even as they walked away backwards.

"Oh, of course, Great And Powerful Trixie!"

"Anything you say! We are at your beck and call!"

She sighed again, disgusted with herself for not having the courage to ward them off completely.  The unicorn immediately took her brush and mirror and went back inside of her caravan. She heard voices outside, causing her to think maybe someone else arrived who wanted to talk to her, but she couldn't bring herself to go out again, wanting to be left alone.

The hours passed by as Trixie laid awake, trying to sleep.

The longer she spent struggling with it, the worse she felt. Each passing moment was giving further and further clarity to just what it was exactly that was vexing her so ever since her show today finished.

This wasn't how Hope's tribute was supposed to go at all. She couldn't have gone further away from what it should have been.

Hope would have wanted her to treat everyone in the audience nicely, regardless of how they treated her. She'd even have wanted Trixie to give the young dragon a chance, instead of immediately condemning it, just like how she was immediately heckled. The filly would expect to see the volunteer act Trixie was once so famous for, and for the entire show to be all about bringing happiness to everyone.

What would she say if she was there to see what happened that day? What would she think? How would she feel?

Trixie doubted that her fan would have approved, or be proud of her.

After being given time to think about it, she also realized that a lot of what she perceived when she read the thoughts of those ponies were twisted out of context by her fury towards the dragon. They hadn't opposed Luna out of spite, but rather because they were afraid that she was going to bring harm to their way of life. Furthermore, their goal was not to defeat her, but to reform her; to help her regain her rightful status as a princess of Equestria. Rainbow Dash also didn't mean to spurn Gilda; her actions were out of response to how Gilda changed after what Trixie did to her wings a year ago.

The ponies who heckled her, who she avenged herself on by humiliating them onstage, were actually good ponies, normally acting much nicer to complete strangers and merely having an off day when they came to her show. They were indeed very talented, and much more virtuous than she originally thought they were. Even the stray thoughts she picked up from the dragon suggested he was completely innocent and benign in hindsight.

'If only the dragon hadn't been there... Could all this have gone differently? Better?'

The showmare sighed, exasperated.

'I didn't mean for it to happen like this... I just... How could I not react like that, after all that the only dragons I ever saw put me through?... I wasn't ready... I didn't think I'd ever see one again... I didn't want to see one ever again...'

She buried her face in her pillow.

'Tomorrow, I'll... I'll find them again and apologize to them all. I'll try to make it up to them by offering to give them another free show, and let them volunteer to show even more of their talents... The right way, like how it was supposed to be... Everything will be okay. I'm going to fix this, Hope. I'm so sorry I ruined your special day... I didn't want your birthday to be like this... I promise I'm going to make it all right...'

As she gradually calmed down, she drifted off into sleep, succumbing to her fatigue to wait for tomorrow.

The audience unanimously applauded, cheering wildly at the top of their lungs. Each of their faces were as joyous as could be, every mouth smiling from ear to ear, every eye gleaming with marvelous happiness.

Trixie graciously accepted all the accolades, basking in the thunderous sounds of their praise. She smiled, grateful that the lachrylus kept her from showing tears of joy. The showmare bowed, her latest performance coming to an end. As she closed her eyes, her thoughts drifted to how she almost couldn't believe that her life had finally become this close to feeling good again. It took five years of perseverance and hard work, but now her act was better than it ever was, and she truly felt fulfilled.

The unicorn finally looked back at all of her spectators again. "Thanks very much for all of you for coming to see Trixie this evening! She deeply appreciates it! But the credit for the quality of tonight's show belongs just as much to the one who made all of this possible... Please welcome her back onto the stage! Give a round of applause to Trixie's number one assistant..."

"... Hope!"

The crowd greeted her with another uproar of significant praise. The earth pony, now a young mare, blushed deeply, having never before been cheered on by so many spectators until now. Ever since she and Trixie left the survivor camp and went to the Hoofington carnival, they started the traveling show back up just as Trixie promised, working together for years. She was now just as old as Trixie was when she started performing in the first place.

The two best friends bowed together in unison, accepting the deafening praise of the audience together.

Hope laughed. "That was our biggest performance yet! I can't believe we've come so far! It feels like it was only just yesterday that you and I went to Hoofington!"

Trixie chuckled. "I know... We spent so many months in that awful place, worried we might not ever get out or that things wouldn't get better, but look at us now. We've done so good ever since that we've achieved things beyond our wildest dreams." She hugged her best fan. "I could never have done any of this without you, Hope. Happy birthday."

The earth pony hugged her idol back, tears of joy in her eyes.

Trixie smiled as she started to pull away, gently wiping away Hope's tears and caressing her mane. "Let's go; we don't want to miss your birthday party, do we?"

When Trixie returned with Hope back to her house, the lights were suddenly flicked on as soon as they walked through the door.

"Surprise!" A chorus of voices greeted them in unison.

Hope exclaimed, smiling brightly, caught off guard, but so happy to see all of her friends.

Her parents, Midnight and Faith, approached them. "Happy birthday, Hope!"

The earth pony hugged them in a tight embrace, and she started talking with them about her special day's previous events.

"There she is!" Trixie turned to see the source of the voice, only to find Gilda readily greeting her. "So good to see you again, Trix! Me and Gustave almost forgot how good it felt to be a part of your shows!"

"Indeed," Gustave chimed, happy to see his friend again. They both hugged Trixie. "Thanks for inviting us to Hope's birthday party," he continued.

"Don't thank me, it was Hope's idea!" Trixie joked. They laughed.

Next, Trixie greeted Fiona, who, against all odds, was able to fly. Renard had also fully healed from his burns, and the others were comfortable enough around him to allow him to be in his natural changeling form. He even brought his wife and child with him, having smoothed over his relationships with both. Roul was there, and he got his wings back. Perla and Tristan were there, happy as ever, and healthy, neither of them likely to die anytime soon. Adia was there, with her entire tribe and family.

Trixie was so happy that Gilda, Gustave, Hope, and all of their friends were there, as happy as could be.

"Beatrix..."

The unicorn was startled by the motherly voice. She turned around, and saw three faces that immediately made her start to cry.

Euthalia, Myrtle and Heavy-Heart all smiled happily at her, embracing her in a family group hug. "We saw your show today... It was so wonderful, Beatrix. We're so proud of you... We love you so much...'

Trixie gasped, panting as she opened her eyes. She felt herself overcome by a cold sweat, with tears streaming down her face.

The unicorn rose, sobbing to herself as she buried her face in her hooves.

'Hope... I'm so sorry... For everything...'

She sniffled, wiping the tears away from her eyelids, forcing herself to look at their photograph again.

'... All this time, you treated me like I was your whole world... Like you needed me to give your life meaning... Like I saved your life... You had it backwards... I was the one who needed you. You were the one who saved me. Now that you're gone, I just... I can't move on...'

Trixie sat on the edge of her bed, hanging her head as she sighed.

This was the closest that she ever felt to a nightmare. Almost anyone, she figured, would have said it was a dream, since it was full of things that would give Trixie joy. But, lately, anything that gave her joy reminded her of Hope. And anything that reminded her of Hope hurt.

It was as if bliss and sorrow, comfort and pain, optimism and despair all became one and the same. The unicorn preferred to feel nothing at all, rather than feel something, anything, even if it was good, as long as there was even a chance of getting hurt, which would be perpetually inevitable. The only way she thought she could erase all sensation, all emotion, was to completely disappear, permanently... But, for her, that was impossible.

All this time, Luna had given her sweet dreams, and yet she just awoke from something that didn't feel like one somehow. If the goddess desired to spare her pain in her sleep as she always had, she could have left the showmare's dreams completely empty, dark, and cold.

And so, Trixie wondered whether Luna was finally punishing her with nightmares, or if she had finally found the impossible promises of sweet dreams too painful to bear any longer.

Suddenly, her train of thought was broken by the cacophony of hooves pounding on her door, with panicked voices frantically calling her name. She jumped, startled by the noise. The unicorn groaned out of irritation.

'Could these ponies have possibly picked a worse time to bother me?!?'

She immediately forced out a spell to dry her face and stop her tears, and then hurriedly tied the lachrylus within her mane. Her hooves reached the floor, stomping over to her door. Half of her was confrontational from being approached at such a late hour, while the other half feared it was possibly any of the ponies who she humiliated earlier. Somehow, she doubted the latter; the voices seemed frightened, not upset.

Trixie was just as annoyed as she was disheartened when she saw it was the two unicorn colts from earlier. The ones who had idolized her as Hope had, who she tried to ward off so cruelly that they would stop looking up to her. Perhaps this time she finally could. The lachrylus retained most of the severity of her woe, but her demeanor was still clearly stern.

"Trixie thought she said The Great And Powerful Trixie did not want to be disturbed!"

Snips laughed nervously. "We -- we have a tiny problem!"

"Actually, it's a big one!" Snails added.

"What is so important that you could not wait until morning to disturb Trixie?!?" she snapped coldly.

Immediately afterwards, a loud, ferocious roar echoed from afar. The showmare flinched, deeply bewildered. Her pupils shrank when she saw the trees off in the distance start to break and split apart, forming a pathway for a gigantic beast whose footsteps shook the earth. It finally emerged from the wreckage, taking on a dark blue hue as it glowed, contrasting the purple of the evening sky. It was an enormous bear with yellow and red eyes and a large white star on it's forehead, with smaller stars tattered throughout it's coat, contributing to it's illumination. It was an Ursa Major -- a real one.

But Trixie thought there was more to it than that. It wasn't just an Ursa Major. It was the embodiment of all her sins, faults, and fears -- one for every star -- sent by Luna to punish her.

The beast released another horrifying roar, looking straight at Trixie.

The sheer existential horror from the prospect of being confronted by her personified flaws overwhelmed the lachrylus, causing Trixie to release an uninhibited and fully sincere terrified, pitiful shriek. She flung open the door and pushed Snips and Snails aside, taking to her hooves and galloping off at full speed.

As Snips and Snails screamed, she continued running, looking back at them.

'You'd leave behind two innocent colts to die just because you don't want to face the truth about yourself?!? You complete coward!!!' she scolded herself mentally.

She tried to levitate them out of harm's way, but her magic was too weak. She started to turn back to get them, knowing she would be too late. The colts fortunately managed to run out of harm's way in the nick of time, only for the Ursa's paw to crush Trixie's caravan in their place. The showmare felt a pang of lament in her heart for losing yet another nostalgic belonging, but thought she deserved it for her cowardice.

The giant bear roared furiously, starting to corner the three unicorns against a building.

"Great And Powerful Trixie, you've got to vanquish the Ursa!" Snips insisted.

"Yeah! Vanquish so we can watch!" Snails chimed.

The bear bared it's fangs and growled, saliva dripping from it's lips as it stared the showmare down.

"It took a lot of trouble to get that thing here!" Snips added.

Trixie turned to him, shocked. "Wait!!! You brought this here?!?" she gasped. "Are you out of your little pony minds?!?"

"But, you're The Great And Powerful Trixie!" Snips replied.

"Yeah, remember? You defeated an Ursa Major!"

The beast released a raging bellow, it's hot breath gusting forth with such ferocity that it nearly knocked the unicorns off of their hooves.

"Uh... Okay!" Trixie swallowed a knot of nervousness stuck in her throat. "Stand back!" She winced, trying to force more magic out of her horn.

'Concentrate... This isn't a show any more... This is life or death... You have to protect these colts... They need you to...'

She already felt weary and full of pain, hindered by her fear and shame, but nonetheless pressed on. The showmare quickly located the longest, strongest rope she could find within the nearest vicinity, promptly levitating it closer to her. She constricted it around the Ursa Major's four limbs before tightly tying them together, hogtying the beast the same way she had done to the earth pony in her last show.

She sighed out of relief. "Piece of cake!" she said, smiling timidly at the two colts.

The Ursa, unimpressed, lifted it's paw. Trixie was shocked at first, only to realize that the only things she managed to tie were two of the bear's fingers. It effortlessly snapped the rope apart between them, having never been confined by her in any manner at all. The beast smirked at the showmare, almost silently daring her to try again.

Her face flushed a deep red, entirely embarrassed to find out how mistaken and ineffective her effort really was.

"Aw, come on, Trixie!" Snips called.

"Stop goofing around and vanquish it, eh?"

Trixie gasped, swallowing another knot of nervousness before she forced out more magic, narrowing her eyes and clenching her teeth. She couldn't afford to fail again; not to protect her reputation, but the colts whom she so carelessly endangered.

She was normally reluctant to harm any creature for any reason, but realized that she had no choice. Initially, the life extinguishing spell was going to be her next attempt, until she realized she didn't have enough strength to perform it at the time. Instead, she conjured a large, black cloud directly above and behind the Ursa Major, trying to strike it with a lightning bolt, only to completely miss.

"... Well, that was a dud," Snails remarked.

"Yeah!" Snips blew a raspberry. "Come on! Where's all the cool explosions and smoke and, stuff like earlier, you know?"

The showmare tried again, this time only lightly burning the Ursa's hind quarters with a single, ineffective bolt. It merely glanced back at the cloud in annoyance, then leered back at Trixie, hungrily opening it's salivating jaws.

"... Uh oh..." Trixie meekly murmured.

Another powerful, gusting roar nearly knocked the unicorns off of their hooves, and they galloped away as fast as they could, screaming the entire time.

The Ursa's furious cries shook all of Ponyville to it's very foundations, awakening all of it's citizens, their lights turning on and their windows and doors opening as the ponies investigated the awful, monstrous cacophony.

The villagers who were already outdoors gasped in unison, chilled to the bone with pure terror.

The beast snarled as it laid it's paws atop a house, sinking it's fangs into the roof.

The ponies screamed and galloped away in unison, as the lavender unicorn with the young dragon on her back from earlier made their way to Snips and Snails.

"What's going on?!?" The purple mare asked, distraught.

"We brought an Ursa to town!" Snips explained.

"You WHAT?!?" she replied, shocked.

"Don't worry, The Great And Powerful Trixie will vanquish it!" Snails espoused proudly.

The showmare winced uncomfortably.

'... Even after seeing me fail so much... Seeing me for the loser I really am... They still think I'm going to be able to fix this... They're so wrong...'

She closed her eyes, lowering her head. "... I... Can't..."

"WHAT?!?" Snips and Snails exclaimed in unison, shocked.

"Uh -- I can't! I never have! No one can vanquish an Ursa Major! I just -- made the whole story up to make me look better!"

"Made it up?!?" The colts screamed.

Trixie closed her eyes out of shame, only to be alerted by the approaching footsteps and snarls of the beast looming over her. She looked up at it, feeling completely responsible for this living nightmare falling upon Ponyville.

'... All because I didn't have the heart to tell the colts the truth sooner... To admit it was just a fairytale invented by Hope... I made this happen... It's my fault... I wasn't there to save Jennet from the dragons, and now Ponyville is going to lose their homes and their people to a monster, too... All because of me... The only difference is, I'll be here to see it happen this time, but there will be nothing I can do about it...'

Her heart sank. If it weren't for the lachrylus, she would have burst into tears.

'I'm sorry... All of you, I'm so sorry... I never meant for this to happen... Never...'

Realizing she would be the only one left alive to see all of it happen, the only remaining survivor, made her want to cast aside the lachrylus so that she could openly weep.

The beast stood on it's hind legs, raising it's forward paws as it released a bloodcurdling roar.

The villagers froze in fear, trembling helplessly before the Ursa Major that would surely kill them.

Suddenly, the lavender unicorn stepped forward. The snarling, growling giant bear stepped up to meet her, intrigued by the lone pony that would dare defy it. The young mare squinted her eyes shut as she grunted in strain, her horn glowing with a magenta aura and her hooves firmly planted in the earth as she made an attempt to subdue the fearsome beast.

A strong wind started to blow through the air, and within moments, a soothing melody, seemingly played from an unseen flute, sang through the air. Shortly afterwards, the bear suddenly paused, it's malice twisting into serenity, comforted by the soothing song. It started to slowly rock back and forth on all four of it's paws, gradually being lulled into a tired state.

The unicorn winced, the aura of her horn glowing ever brighter with a sharp noise, pushing her hooves even further into the ground. Soon, the top of a water tower detached itself from the rest of its structure, floating through the air across Ponyville and passing through a farm, somehow replacing its contents with cow's milk.

The Ursa, coaxed to the point of nearly passing out, started to lean over, almost falling. It moved towards Trixie, nearly crushing her beneath it. The showmare knew her magic would protect her, but she was still frightened to see the embodiment of her flaws getting so close to touching her, thinking she would be forced to simultaneously revisit them all if they made contact; she flinched, having nowhere to escape to in time. The other unicorn's lavender aura suddenly encased it before they could make contact, levitating the beast into the air as the showmare looked on in awe.

The lavender unicorn started to writhe, audibly groaning from the sheer amount of overwhelming effort she was placing into her spells. She levitated the almost unconscious bear higher into the air, soothing it further by continuing to play the song and placing the giant milk-filled container into it's paws as a makeshift bottle, allowing it to drink from it freely. The rest of the ponies watched in wonder as the Ursa Major was safely carried out of Ponyville, until it was out of their sight, sent all the way back to it's cave deep within the Everfree Forest.

The unicorn cringed for a few more moments as her horn's aura finally started to die down, grunting and then panting breathlessly once she finally ceased her efforts, her task accomplished.

The ponies cheered her on gratefully for saving them.

"Unbelievable!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

As the citizens of Ponyville continued to shower their unexpected savior with praise, Trixie felt her ears ringing to the point that they drowned out all other sounds. She stared intently at the purple mare who just protected her own village all by herself, recognizing her from her show yesterday, but also from another occasion. The showmare knew she saw her somewhere else before, but didn't remember where or when exactly until now.

She was another student that attended Celestia's School For Gifted Unicorns at the same time that she did.

The one who she'd always see in the library, whose facial expressions and body language reminded her so much of herself, as if someone took her shadow, or her reflection, and put it into another pony.

The one she always considered befriending, but never gathered the courage to approach her.

'... Could all of this have been avoided all those years ago if I just... Talked to her?...'

Everything about her seemed so simple and complete.

Her sincere, openly demonstrated modesty and humility made her worthy of the praise of Ponyville.

She was brave enough to step up to defy the Ursa when no one else would.

She was strong enough to subdue the beast without any conflict or bloodshed.

'... Strong. Brave. Worthy.

She's the "Better Beatrix" I always dreamed of being...'

The dragon started speaking again, but Trixie still couldn't hear any of the words any of them were saying. Seeing him participate in whatever they were talking about got her attention, and she started to look into his thoughts, dismissing the previous prejudice she had upon first seeing him.

He was even younger than she originally thought. She suspected that he must have been about as old as a school age filly or colt, but in dragon years, he was still an infant.

"... Wasn't an Ursa Major. It was an Ursa Minor. A baby," the lavender unicorn's voice broke into her thoughts.

"That was just a baby?" Trixie chimed, referring more to the dragon than to her explanations.

Suddenly, the showmare felt her stomach turn. Here she was, having judged a creature far too young to inflict harm on anyone simply for being born as something different from what she was used to. She shuddered, deeply disgusted and ashamed with herself for not only being racist towards him like so many were to her, but also because, for a few hours, she sincerely, deeply wanted to torture and murder an innocent child.

Unwilling to continue giving this realization her attention, she returned her focus back to the lavender unicorn, only to find that she evoked another deep feeling of homesickness and familiarity. She couldn't quite place her hoof on it before, but now she found out what the core of her discomfort with her was.

It wasn't just that they once went to school together, and could have been friends, best friends even, if she merely tried to talk to her.

It wasn't just that she was everything that she wanted to be and more.

There was something else.

'... She almost looks just like --'

That was enough.

She was unable to stand being there any longer.

"Ha! You may have vanquished an ursa minor, but you will never have the amazing, show-stopping ability of The Great And Powerful Trixie!"

The showmare pitifully cast a cloud of smoke about her, initially trying to teleport away or create a blanket of fog thick enough to hide her escape, only for her efforts to immediately dissipate as she galloped away like there was no tomorrow.

"Why, that little -- !" Rainbow Dash's voice echoed off in the distance.

Trixie was grateful that she was able to get out of Ponyville in time. The enchantment of the lachrylus was able to withstand just long enough to keep them from seeing her weep from the total despair that she felt.

Her hooves had never been so tired.

The showmare ran as far as she could before her body gave out, succumbing to fatigue and collapsing onto the ground. She lay on her back in a grassy field, not wanting to put any strain on any of her legs, all four of which were aching deeper than they ever have. Her lungs burned like the fires of Tartarus as she panted breathlessly, trying to recover from being so winded.

The unicorn gradually calmed down, soothed by the nostalgic sights of the beautiful night sky above her. The stars seemed to glow brighter than usual.

'... Luna... If you've let these things happen to punish me... I hope that you're satisfied. I feel no bitterness towards you for any of your actions. I deserved to be punished like this, and the amount I must endure for me to be completely forgiven is impossible for me to undertake. You've always kindly watched over all of us below the skies, granting us dark serenity and cathartic unconscious fantasies. You were wrongfully persecuted and sent away, denied the proper appreciation you continue to earn without fail.'

She closed her eyes, sighing. 'All my life, I've looked up to you and worshiped you. I've aspired to be like you... And instead, I let things go horribly, horribly wrong. I became the exact opposite of what you would want your followers to be. I've shamed you, Luna, and for that, you forever have my apologies.'

Trixie tried to let her mind become blank, to surrender to her complete and total exhaustion, to rest and recover from the agonizing pain she was in, mental, emotional, and physical. But the suffering she endured would not allow her to sleep, or relax.

She figured that Luna did not even want to grant her the luxury of rest. 'So be it,' she thought with a sigh, accepting this apparent scorn as she opened her eyes.

Her thoughts drifted off to other things, reflecting on countless examples of her endless stream of failures, and how she never improved the lives of anyone she ever met, but merely hindered them instead.

'I'm so tired.

Tired of being here.

Tired of always hurting.

I'm tired of everything.

My life's always going to stay the same, it's never going to change. I already know everything that's going to happen, I've seen everything I need to see. Things just always go bad for me, and whenever it seems like they're finally going to get better, they just get way worse instead. It's a sick, vicious, endless cycle. I'm done waiting for improvements when it's plainly clear that it's just not going to happen. Why should I bother staying around to see whatever else comes next? Why don't I just go?'

The unicorn focused as her horn started to glow with the aura of the life extinguishing spell, channeling it inward. She originally felt the unmistakable sting of her magic struggling under emotional strain, slowly becoming indistinguishable from her suicidal attempt, before the aura of her horn grew dim, and the sensations faded away.

'... Oh, I forgot. That's why. I can't.'

She groaned, both out of disappointment and frustration for her efforts serving only to make her ache even more.

'... All these years, I felt like I've been blamed for things that aren't my fault. But, over time, others have shown me that I really have been responsible for each of my flaws all along. I accepted each hindrance, one by one, seeking to strengthen my humility by honestly confessing to my every defect, but there was one accusation I was never able to tolerate. It offended me deep down inside, right in my bones, even though it's the truest blame of all.

I am arrogant.

It's the trait that I hate most about some others that I have met. It is the negative quality I've tried so desperately to avoid, one that I was so sure I would never be caught dead possessing.

But... Truly, completely, deeply, surely... I now see that I'm the most arrogant pony who ever lived.

How dare I think I deserve any form of satisfaction or comfort out of life, after everything that I've done to everyone who has ever met me? I hurt and used those who would care for me. I terrorized complete strangers for merely doubting me. I was completely bigoted to a harmless baby dragon merely because I never met any good dragons before him.

How dare I think I'm capable of anything productive, anything meaningful, when the most I've ever had to offer anyone were pointless momentary distractions? I'm not even that good at it. I'm a horrible entertainer. My skills are sloppy, unpolished, stale. I've lost my edge a long time ago, if I ever even had it at all. My biggest achievement was deliberately wasting everyone's time by trying to make them forget about how awful their lives were instead of doing something to actually improve them.

How dare I think I ever had a chance against my most hated enemy... Life, reality itself? That which is inevitable, all-consuming? That which has no escape other than to completely cease to exist in any form? I've treated it like some awful prison that I've tried to escape, and take its other captives with me in the process. How laughable, that I ever once thought a useless pony like me ever stood a fraction of a chance against the most powerful force in all of existence.

I've never even heard of thoughts so arrogant. I truly am and always have been what I've hated the most... It's no wonder I've always hated myself.'

The unicorn shifted around on the ground, trying to lay down more comfortably. As she rested her head back on the earth, she felt the lachrylus push up into her from below. She blinked, startled, and lifted her head once more, reaching to pull the lachrylus out from under her with a forehoof. She held it above her face, still tied to her mane, watching it gleam in the moonlight.

Trixie sighed out of relief, grateful that her last gift to Hope was still with her. She'd completely forgotten all about it, and figured she probably could have easily lost it while she was galloping out of Ponyville.

Her ears perked as she suddenly realized that she forgot her other possessions, accidentally leaving them back in that town. They were possibly destroyed when the Ursa Minor crushed her caravan with it's paw... Possibly, but not surely.

The showmare's heart leapt. As long as there was a chance, she had to go back to retrieve what was precious to her. She didn't even care about most of the things in there -- she only wanted to take back was was most sacred, what represented most of her time with Hope.

Trixie clumsily scrambled back to her hooves, initially falling back on the ground face first when she tried to gallop back the way she came. She frantically stood up again and ran, starting to build up her momentum, focusing on increasing her pace. There was no telling if the citizens of Ponyville had already done away with her belongings or otherwise moved them elsewhere.

It burned so much, to push herself like this again after doing so not that long ago at all, but this was far more important than simply escaping painful reminders.

'I don't care what they do to me, or the rest of my items... I don't care what they say, or what all of this does for my future... I just want three things...'

As she fought off exhaustion for what she was so sure was at least a dozen minutes, the unicorn felt a single pang of relief upon seeing that Ponyville was completely darkened. Everyone there had presumably gone to sleep. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness by then, and she couldn't find anyone outside from as far away as she could see. The closer she grew to the latest venue for her performances, the more cautious her actions became. Galloping turned to sneaking, and panting turned to holding her breath for all she was worth.

If she hadn't known any better, she would have thought she had just tried to summon the illusion of a cerberus again. The unicorn felt incredibly lightheaded, her limbs ached more than ever before, and her heart pounded like a drum. It took extra effort to keep herself from grunting out of strain, and she was almost tempted to demand her heart to shush lest it alert the Ponyvillians to her return.

A melancholic chill crept down her spine once her eyes rested on what remained of her caravan. Many of the boards that once held it together were splintered all over the place, and it was broken in half right down the middle. The young mare nervously surveyed her surroundings one last time, trying to make sure no one else was around, before she performed a basic spell, causing her horn to glow and light the pathway immediately in front of her.

Using this, she started to navigate through the ruins, careful not to accidentally hurt herself. Trixie grimaced at the state of most of her belongings, finding that they were damaged beyond repair. She hoped that the things she searched for could at least be salvageable. Another merciful coincidence went in her favor when she finally found them.

Her hat and cape were hidden beneath some of the debris, miraculously unscathed. She quickly checked the pocket on the inside of the cape, only to find that the photograph of her and Hope survived as well; aside from it being as aged and dirty as she allowed it to become, there wasn't a rip or scratch of any kind to be found. She breathed a sigh of relief, holding them close to herself.

The unicorn quietly wept, grateful that at least just this one thing went right. '... This is all I wanted... It's... It's going to be fine...'

"So, why didn't you come see me as soon as you got my letter?!? Huh?!? Huh?!?"

Trixie shuddered, hanging her head as she frowned.

Gilda clenched her teeth, shaking with anger. "You know what this has been like for me!!! What were you thinking?!? Don't I matter to you?!? Don't you care?!?"

"I-I just wanted to pay Hope a tribute by doing a sh--"

"Oh, so now your dead friends are more important than your living ones?!? The ones who are still here, who still need you?!? Like the one who's been there for you for, oh, I don't know, your whole life instead of just the last few years?!?"

The showmare winced. "... Y-you know, this hasn't exactly been easy for me, either..."

The griffon rolled her eyes, throwing her talons up in the air sarcastically. "Oh, really?!? It's always 'me, me, me' with you!!! I gave you so many things, and you barely -- if ever -- repaid me, and the one time that I need you the most, all you can think of is still yourself?!?"

With a single beat of her wings, she gusted right up to the unicorn's face, staring her right in the eyes. "So, tell me, once again, what is it that you want?!? Huh?!? Huh?!?"

Trixie forced her eyes to veer away. She quivered more intensely than before, feeling tears well up in her eyelids. "I-I just -- I-I don't --"

"Oh, I know!!! Why don't you break my wings and beat the living hell out of me again?!? Maybe that will make you feel better!!! So, come on!!! Do it!!!"

Without warning, Gilda's talon clenched into a fist and rocketed forth, crashing right into Trixie's muzzle. The showmare immediately spit out blood involuntarily as she fell to the ground, the back of her head hitting it first, along with the rest of her body shortly after.

Gilda instantly pounced on her, both fists swinging across the young mare's face, pummeling it all over.

"Come on!!! I know you want to do this!!! I know you want to hit me!!! Fight back!!!"

Trixie initially flinched as each sharp blow rained upon her, but she soon adjusted to the chaotic barrage of pain, simply accepting it and letting the griffon punch her to her heart's content. She was initially shocked and heartbroken that her best friend would even think of striking her, but quickly decided it was completely justified. Now that she thought of it, she was surprised Gilda hadn't done this much sooner.

She rammed her clenched talons all over the pony's head, narrowly avoiding her horn by sheer luck, her knuckles now coated in the pony's blood.

"FIGHT BACK, TRIXIE!!! FIGHT BACK!!!"

Gilda continued to bark the command, her throat getting sore from screaming so loud. Trixie simply continued to passively watch and absorb each strike, her physical pain multiplying every time they made contact.

The griffon's lungs burned; she could no longer yell, but only grunt and pant, her fury searing hotter with each moment as her lifelong friend refused to comply with her order. She channeled the anger into her limbs, endlessly swinging, her fists starting to ache deeply from hitting so hard and so often.

She was only stopped when a magical barrier suddenly appeared an inch above Trixie's face, keeping her from reaching it again. Nevertheless, she pressed on, trying to break past it and continue punching until Trixie indulged her, but it was no use. Gilda continued until she was too tired and hurt to do so, fighting to regain her breath as she tried to stand up, only to trip over the pony and fall backwards onto her back. As the fatigue set in, she started to feel remorseful, thinking Trixie's magic barrier was an intentional effort to settle the matter peacefully.

"... Okay... I got really carried away... I'm..." She grunted as she sat back up. "So sorry about that... Never should have hit you... I guess we're even again," she remarked, only to immediately wince at the suggestion that Trixie deserved the brutal beating.

Trixie finally opened her eyes, beginning to take deep, slow breaths as she merely looked straight up. She shook her head. "No, we're not even, Gilda. We never will be."

The griffon froze, worried that she had just destroyed their friendship.

"We can't ever be even, because I've done far too much harm to you," Trixie continued. "All the times I took advantage of you, all the betrayal and abuse, all the lies and secrets... I've done so much wrong..."

"Trixie, I didn't mean to do or say any of those things I just said and did," Gilda insisted, her voice shaking with fear and sorrow instead of rage. "I just got out of control... You know I get like this... Don't blame yourself, please, it's not your fault..."

"It is," the unicorn maintained. "If I never broke your wings in the first place, you would never have ended up like this... You'd still be able to pursue those dreams you always wanted to... The ones you never even got a chance to figure out..."

"You weren't thinking clearly! You were just distraught because Hope had just died!"

"And you just did what you did because you're hurt, too," Trixie concluded. She closed her eyes as tears spilled out, turning her head away from Gilda. "I should have let you kill me just now, but I couldn't even have done that if I wanted to..."

The griffon froze. "... What're you talking about?..."

"... I never told you, but... The reason my mom died when she gave birth to me is because of another defect my magic has... It doesn't just fail whenever I'm not calm enough... It also keeps me from dying, no matter what... That night in Jennet, so many years ago, when you found me, and I told you I was practicing for the talent show... What I was really doing was trying to kill myself... I tried again after you left for the year, when Myrtle blamed me for my dad getting hurt, but... This... Thing kept me from dying, just like it did whenever anything else threatened my life, like when I jumped in the way of that wheel before it could hit you... I've been trying to die ever since Hope did, and it still won't let me..."

Gilda cried, holding her face in her talons. "Oh, Luna... Why didn't you ever tell me?..."

"... You always thought I was more than I really am... Even now... I didn't want you to think that a someone was trying to kill herself, instead of a no one... Now that you've seen me for what I really am, called me out for my exposed faults, I still can't..." The showmare sighed in defeat, trembling as she weakly got back to her hooves, almost falling back down a few times.

The griffon's beak was agape in shock. "... Trixie... Listen... I know that things have been really bad for you for a while, b-but... You can't just give up like this... Yes, it's all bad right now, b-but, we can make our way out of this, just like we have every other time it got bad... You can't just give up on life... You need to have hope!"

"HOPE IS DEAD!!!" she suddenly shrieked. "... Hope is dead..." she croaked mournfully, starting to cry again.

Gilda shrank and shuddered at her words. "... I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean to --"

"Gilda, please, don't," Trixie continued, her voice trembling. "This isn't like every other time, where I was just in some slump... There's no coming back from this... It's over..."

Her finalistic words distressed the griffon. "... Wh-what're you saying?" she whimpered.

"I'm saying we can't be friends anymore," the showmare bemoaned. "It's not that I don't want to, it's... Just... No matter what happens, I'm bad for you. Bad for everyone. I've done nothing for you all but make your lives worse... I've let you down, I've used you... I killed my parents, tormented by sister, ruined Gustave's dream, I disappointed Hope and let her die, and I crippled you... I'm no good for any of you... I'm destined to be alone..."

Trixie shook her head, turning away as she began to walk. "So, just forget it all and go. Get as far from me as you can. Fly away, Gilda le Grand, before I hurt you and those you care for all over again."

"Please, don't do this," Gilda begged, sobbing.

The unicorn ignored her desperate pleas, continuing to leave without looking back once.

"We're best friends, Trixie... We always have been... We've gone through so many things together, you can't just throw that all away... Please, don't! Don't leave me alone!"

Trixie ignored her, and then disappeared.

Gilda collapsed onto the ground, sobbing.

The showmare continued to walk, trying to get out of town as quickly as possible, not wanting to have to confront Gilda again. She would have galloped, but she found that she couldn't bring herself to for some reason.

Just as she feared, she suddenly felt the presence of someone familiar yards behind her. However, something was off. It wasn't who she expected. She froze, waiting for whoever it was to say or do something first, only to be further bewildered when nothing happened. Trixie slowly turned around, unsurprised at who she saw glaring at her.

"... Gustave..."

The chef's front legs were folded in front of his chest as he breathed heavily. "Gilda might feel sorry for you for a lot of the things that happened this past year, but I don't. As far as I'm concerned, you've brought most of them on yourself."

Trixie's ears lowered. "I'm not going to defend my actions."

He clenched his teeth, pointing an accusatory talon at her. "Don't you think you can go winning me over just because you finally feel bad, either. It's awful, what transpired, but that gives you no excuse to go around doing the things that you've done. And if it's taken you until now to finally see that, then you still have a lot of work ahead of you before I'll even think about forgiving you, like in another lifetime. I heard about Baltimare, and I heard about Ponyville. You've become as prejudiced as the ones who victimize griffons and Lunar followers --"

That stung.

"-- and you're as hateful as your sister."

But not as much as that.

The griffon started to calm down, satisfied with how he clearly hurt Trixie. "You stay away from Gilda from now on. Don't even talk to her. She doesn't need you to hurt her any more than you already have."

Trixie hung her head, trying to hide her tears.

"I know that you miss Hope, Trixie. We all do. But when she died, so did everything good in you." With that, he left.

Trixie walked for days.

She didn't know where she was going, or what she was going to do, and she didn't care. All that she knew was that she couldn't die. Not soon enough.

The unicorn had finally gotten too tired to continue, settling for taking a break by laying down in a forest. Tears spilled down her face as she was otherwise silent and still, alone with her thoughts, where she hated being the most.

'I have no idea what's going to happen. There's nothing left anymore.

Every time I try to perform, it just... All of it gets messed up.

I have no friends. No family. I have nothing.

Even all my possessions are gone. I have nothing but my hat, cape, Hope's picture, and a measly amount of bits.

... I've never tried starving to death. I suppose I could do that. Just lay out here and let my stomach eat me alive, or however it works.

But, what if that doesn't work? I'll just be alive, and very, very hungry. That wouldn't be nice at all. Would it even be worth trying?

Maybe. I'm not sure. There's nothing else I can think of doing.

I just... Want to do something... Anything... Whatever will help me get away from this, forget all of it. I wish Luna, or Hope, or -- I-I don't know, just, someone, something -- would give me some sign, and tell me what I'm supposed to do.'

She sighed in exasperation, squeezing her eyes shut. The showmare impatiently waited, unable to bring herself to do anything else without some sign pointing her in the right direction.

After what felt like an eternity, she finally noticed a strange sensation. She had fallen asleep, and it had stirred her back into consciousness. Somewhere closeby, there was an elevation in temperature. A warmth that felt distinctly like a campfire. She even heard the crackling of flames, and the beating of wings. Immediately, she groaned.

'Oh, Luna, please no. Please don't let it be a dragon. I can't handle seeing another one, not after what happened last time.'

She forced her eyes open... Only to find something she wasn't expecting.

'A phoenix.'

It sat nearby her, perched on a tree branch, staring at her curiously. It opened it's beak to release a single noise, and then started to slowly fly away, before returning to fly a few circles around her, looking down at her.

Trixie blinked a few times, as if trying to make sure she was dreaming. Then, she did something she hadn't done in such a long time.

She laughed.

She laughed so hard that she doubled over onto the ground, shutting her eyes once more. She kept laughing, until tears spilled out of her eyelids, and her gut and sides hurt, and she couldn't breathe. And then she laughed even more.

The young mare couldn't tell whether it was out of amusement or surprise. The most she could decipher is that it was because of the sheer irony of the situation. Hope had probably felt as bad as she did just now when they saw phoenixes together, and she used them as an analogy to inspire Hope to continue on.

That was the first and last time she ever saw the fiery birds in person, having only previously learned about them in Celestia's School For Gifted Unicorns. As such, the only other time she bore witness to such creatures had a connotation as a positive memory, standing out amongst a collection of so many negative life experiences.

By the time she finally stopped laughing, Trixie thought that her gut was going to burst open. She wiped her tears away with a forehoof, next using them to clutch her aching areas as she regained her breath.

It felt so good to feel so alive. It felt so good to laugh at something that wasn't out of a sadistic act, that wasn't at another's expense, that felt so genuine and pure.

The unicorn coughed a few times, taken aback by how hard she laughed, finally releasing a sigh of relief. She felt so refreshed, so relaxed. She used to sometimes question the healing power of laughter, but if she ever had an excuse in her life to believe in it, now would be it.

The comfort provided by the unexpected, yet welcome sensations slowly pervaded throughout her entire body, even erasing the slight aches she felt in her gut and sides. She smiled from ear to ear, suddenly surveying the forest around her, seemingly experiencing an epiphany.

'If Hope were still here with me... We'd be talking about phoenixes all over again. She'd support me, the way I supported her. Even when Jennet was destroyed, we strived to make our lives worth living as Lunar loyalists... And even with Hope gone... I'll still try to do it, just as she would want me to. I'd want the same for her, if it was me who perished and her who survived.'

She closed her eyes and nodded, briefly retrieving their photograph to look at it again.

'... Hope... We're going to keep traveling and putting on shows... Just like I promised you...'

She never found so much hard work to be so worth it.

All by herself, Trixie had rebuilt the traveling caravan that she first made with Gilda, right down to the unfolding stage and the extra paintings she added onto it with Hope. She recreated it from scratch, keeping every last detail exactly the way it was before. Once she was finished, she felt just as deeply exhausted as she did proud and accomplished.

'This is a new chapter in my life. I'm going to turn everything back around. I'm finally going to be the Great And Powerful Trixie that Hope always wanted me to be. Thank you so much for helping me all this time, my number one assistant...'

It all took weeks of grueling hard work with merely a few brief breaks, but the satisfaction of finally seeing her caravan miraculously return almost erased all of her pain and fatigue. The next day was spent resting and recuperating from her massive efforts and rejoicing in the nostalgic bliss of her recreated home. After that, she was able to muster the energy necessary to cast a come to life spell and drive it. The unicorn figured she would start off doing odd jobs wherever she could find them to save up more bits again, and then finally get back to performing.

She stopped at the first town that she found, seeking out the nearest motel for a bed and a meal. Even after taking the time required to operate the caravan, Trixie was still quite exhausted.

For so long, she hated the dawn. Just feeling the rays of sunshine on her face, seeing the dim glow of light against her eyelids, reminded her only of holding a dead filly in her forelegs who meant so much to her. For the first time since, the rising sunlight bathing the covers of the bed through the window signified an inkling of bliss and comfort. It was a fresh, clean slate, a brand new beginning, a second chance for the showmare to find the peace of mind she sought for so long and never found.

She savored every bite of her breakfast, the exquisite taste of her pancakes accentuating the refreshingly pleasant thoughts racing through her mind at light speed. All at once, she was torn between reining in unrealistic expectations and allowing modest goals. The smallest possibility of finally finding a life of contentment was enough to ignite every cell in her body with a warm, soothing joy.

'I'll wait as long as I have to. I'll take every day one at a time. As long as there's even a chance for all of this to finally be all right... I'm going to be fine...'

As patient as she was in the long run, she couldn't wait to get started on the next part of her journey. As soon as she was finished eating, the young mare rushed back to her room to gather what few belongings she brought inside with her, going out of her way to briefly give each of the motel staff a personal thanks for their hospitality while she otherwise hurried to leave. Each strand of fur on her coat tingled with a buzz of jubilation as she galloped outside, eager to continue taking the first steps required to rebuilding her career as a showmare.

Trixie was stopped by the sight of her caravan. Just yesterday, it looked as good as new, just the way she remembered it, a nostalgic memory brought back to life. Today, it was defiled.

The nomadic home was covered in broken eggs and splattered tomatoes, their contents crudely smeared along its entirety, accompanied by green paint used to mockingly portray pictures of Trixie's  humiliation in Ponyville by Twilight and the ursa minor.

On top of it all, the three ponies responsible for vandalizing the caravan's exterior were still present, pointing and laughing at the unicorn and her possession without any remorse or guilt. One of them even looked surprisingly similar to Trixie herself, an earth pony mare with a silver mane and azure coat. It only brought back memories of how often the unicorn would look at her reflection and feel nothing but shame.

She merely stared at the caravan with her mouth agape, her ears lowered, before she sighed and hung her head, passively accepting the brutally personal humiliation.

The three mares who bullied her started talking amongst themselves, continuing to taunt her while congratulating each other for the subjective hilarity they found in their collective prank. Trixie's ears had tuned out their voices while they were still laughing, so she heard none of it, but it didn't matter. The damage had already been done.

The earth ponies finally left, disappointed and unamused by the showmare's lack of a larger reaction. As soon as they finally left her field of vision, she finally allowed herself to start crying. Her horn heated up under her hat as she tried to clean the caravan with spells, only to find she was too distraught for it to work. Instead, she slowly walked forward, starting to weakly scrape the eggs and tomatoes off with her hooves.

Slowly, her thoughts began to drift back to when Myrtle had defaced her hat and cape, only for Gilda to help her clean them.

'...It's okay, Trixie... We can wash this away... It's okay...'

She suddenly stopped, only to break down sobbing, her forehooves slowly sliding off of the wood until she collapsed onto the ground, curling up into a ball and hiding her face as she wept.

It seemed to Trixie as if only just now she had realized that she was completely alone.

"Hope... I'm so sorry that I lied to you."

For the first time in over a year, Trixie returned to Hope's grave in the remains of Jennet, right where their room in their house used to be.

"... For so long, I told you all kinds of things... Like how it really is possible to do the things you want to with your life, or that all the bad times are worth going through in order to make it to see the good times... I think, for a little while, I actually believed in all of those things myself... But they were never true, and they never will be... I was wrong... So, so wrong..."

The unicorn was forced to pause, shutting her eyes as she sniffled, silently weeping, trying with all her might to hold herself together.

After a long moment, her eyes opened, completely moist from her tears as she drew in a shaky gasp, trembling.

"... If only I never gave you hope... If only I never tried to tell you that dreams could come true after all... I only learned the reality of it all way too late... The only way to find any satisfaction out of life is to set your expectations as low as possible."

The showmare looked at the first picture she and Hope ever took one last time before she put it back in her cape's hidden pocket.

"... You always looked up to me, the same way I always did, and still do, look up to Princess Luna... Only, she actually deserves some admiration, while I don't... You thought I was some hero, someone who lifted the spirits of others out of the depths of sorrow onto the heights of joy, but I'm the exact opposite of those things..."

She closed her eyes, shaking her head.

"I never deserved all of the joy you gave me... I still don't... I can never forgive myself for letting you down and failing to save you, from the dragons and from heartbreak... So, that's why, from this day forth, I promise you that I will never perform again. My days putting on shows are over... Instead, I'm going to spend the rest of my life working at a mine, suffering through daily labor like my father did, while I wait until I can finally die, whenever that is... Maybe it'll never happen, and I'll just work eternally... If that's the case, then so be it. Even if I suffered forever, it would never redeem me for what I've done to you... I love you so much, Hope. I'll never forget you."

With that, she mustered just enough effort to levitate her hat and cape -- lachrylus, picture and all -- into the open grave, laying them directly on top of Hope's coffin. She then proceeded to shovel the dirt back in until the grave was full once more, the two dolls, violin, and the crescent moon being the only indicators of the late filly's resting place.

"I'd love so much to be everything you ever thought I was, Hope. But that will never happen. It's just... Unthinkable. I would if I could, but I can't, so I won't. And that's the way it's going to stay... Forever."

Finally, Trixie turned her back on Hope's grave, and began to move her hooves forward. For the last time in her entire life, she walked away from Jennet, never once looking back.

"Hope is truly the greatest evil of all, for it prolongs the suffering of man." - Nietzsche

To be continued...